By - LastEkko
Yeah sounds like an indirect direct approach, maybe she dipped the toe, but its just guessing.
Yeah it is all guessing I’m just going by how I knew how she was when we dated for a year and half when it came to orders especially online she would triple check everything. Plus it’s odd to me that her current bf didn’t want her to talk with me anymore or have me on her socials yet she reached out like that. My one friend said she most likely got into an argument with her current boyfriend and reached out to me.
I think that she used this as a conversation starter just to see how would you respond and maybe chat with you a little bit. My guess is that things with the new guy aren't going so well so she started reminiscing.
She did say that her current boyfriend is very understanding, but it could be as you said she might have just said that to save face and that maybe not everything is going as well as she’s making it seem like it is and was just remembering things about us but only time will tell that
Honestly, or maybe it's just me and the people I know, talking to an ex when in a new relationship is an extreme red flag. Like there's no understanding about it. There's no reason. This right here with the order imo is a really dumb excuse to write to you and I can guarantee that her current partner doesn't even know that you're talking. Idk maybe I'm reaching but I've done the same thing once when I was in a relationship with a really bad guy so I used an old pic from memories on Instagram and sent it to my ex and we started talking for a short period of time. I told him that my then boyfriend was aware of our conversation but he sure as hell wasn't since he was a psycho and telling him that would've ended really bad.
I agree with that as well she claimed the last time we spoke she told the guy she was dating that we messaged and he wasn’t happy about it hence why she deleted me off all her social media and what not but when I dated her she never liked the idea of getting forced into things she didn’t want as well as getting boundaries set up. My gut instinct says she get into a argument with her current boyfriend and it made her remember us as a couple. If you don’t mind me asking the messages with your ex was it so you had someone to talk with and once you got over it you stopped or did you have more of a reason behind it ?
When I reached out I guess I was more petty that he also moved on lol. I was really immature back then. I knew he had a girlfriend but I didn't have any ill intentions I just wanted to see if he would engage in a conversation. I sent the pic, he replied and I liked the comment and left it at that. But, after that he started to regularly reply to my stories and we chatted more and more. Most of our chats consisted of sharing memories of each other and also catching up, sharing details about our current lives. He also mentioned that his then gf knew of our chats but the way he wrote to me I highly doubt that the girl knew, because if she really knew she would've left him then and there.
I get that I feel like most people do that especially if something small leads them to remember an ex like w song or a show or something along those lines, my previous relationships when it was over with I was always the type of person that wouldn’t want to tread on a exs new relationship and be respectful to it sometimes they would send me a meme or a funny video and I would do the same but just keep it short like that.
With her though at first we would just view each other’s stories and send likes, I was never the type of person that was all about the block and move on person and when I told most of my friends what happened they all said you should have blocked her on everything after she broke up with you. My mindset is just that if she shared the same love I had for her I don’t think I would be posting here it’s just losing your best friend and someone who you thought was your forever is a tough thing to deal with, but I’ve been trying my best to stay strong I won’t lie and say some days it’s not rough but life is all about taking the hits and just getting up when things are tough. You can’t ever force someone to feel or love you the same way you do. Most relationships people still have disagreements or differences of opinions some just work on it because they truly care about the other person my ex said she wanted to work on herself and had a lot of stress and other factors and didn’t want me. I also had a serious health issue that I was dealing with when we first started to date and she was always by my side till she broke up with me. Some friends say it’s because of the health issues that she might have gotten tired dealing with it. I’m the type of person if the shoe was on the other foot I would be there a 100 percent.
If she’s still with someone I would look the other way.
She is she mentioned that towards the end. It’s just I knew how she was when it came to online orders that’s why I find it odd she would “accidentally” order something to my house. She had a new boyfriend 2 months after she dumped me after being together for a year and half
Yes it does sound odd but at this point if she wants you then you shouldn’t be an option.
Of course I don’t think anyone should ever be a option that’s unfair to the other person. It’s just I’m not the type of person that can be cold towards someone
I’m not sure, I’ve accidentally ordered things on Amazon to the wrong address because I have a few family members addresses in there. I think you may be reading too far into it.
When she told you her bf is very understanding that sounds like a stab to you.
Yet the thing with her is that she’s always been the type of person that would triple check what she orders and where she sends it, the year and half we were together she never ordered anything to the wrong address and she did live in different apartments.
The reason she mentioned the boyfriend was because he wasn’t comfortable with her having me as a friend on social media so she unfriended me and we had texts because we were both in vacation in the same area just in different parts what we both found lol we interesting. So she said in respect to him and his wishes she was going to not text and unfriend me yet this is the same girl who never liked getting forced to do things nor if someone set up rules or boundaries as she says
You haven’t been together for 4 months. Humans make mistakes. I usually triple check my orders too but every once in a while I ship to the wrong address.
Doesn’t sound like she was being “forced”. She straight up said she wanted to be respectful to her new boyfriend. Also sounds like now the new bf trusts her and doesn’t care about contact. I think you’re reading too far into this.
Well she broke up with me 6 months ago on Christmas I also understand humans make mistakes it happens I’m just going on what she did while we were together for a year and half she primarily orders a bunch of things online.
I get her being respect and I even said to her look if you’re with someone I don’t want to tread on it because a few days prior to her removing me on social media she wanted to hangout and catch up. I never had trust issues with her either she would use my phone like it was her own check social media and what not I had nothing to hide. I’m not reading too much into it like I said I’m just going on what I know about her. At the end of the day she’s the one who broke up with me because she wanted to figure herself out and had a lot of things she was dealing with, yet said to me I was a great boyfriend and she was very happy and grateful for that. Nor do I ever wish anything bad on her either it’s just with most orders with a click away you can basically change the address and it not being a issue.
You said in your post “maybe I’m reading too much into it”. I think that is exactly what you’re doing. It’s been 6 months, she broke up with you, and she is with someone else. It’s time to let go.
I never said I was never letting go or holding on, I just said I found it odd as well as I may be reading too much into it.
Nah Im with you that’s no coincidence
Yeah it was so out of left field it can go both ways but knowing her for that long it’s just leads me to believe it’s something that’s not true
Yeah I order a shit load of Uber eats and shit and I’ve never fucked up my address with someone else’s I’ve used
If the package doesn’t arrive then you will know that it was just a ploy.
Yeah thing is she never said a date of it arriving or anything, just that I ordered something I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns into her telling me she canceled it or changed the shipment to her address.
Time will tell. I think it was a breadcrumb.
That’s what I think as well people from what I’ve seen on here and other subreddits usually have the breadcrumb effect happen but time will 100 percent tell what it is. I’m just doing my best to not catch the bait
My ex ordered $50 worth of McDonald's with MY CARD. (She never removed it off her phone lol.) Her sister contacted me and paid me back, kudos to her. My friends think it was intentional but I don't think so. Best not to read into these situations and flow. Be like water ~
I'm in a very similar situation right now. My ex (dumpee) reached out to me last week and told me he still had some of my stuff, and asked if I wanted him to drop it off during the weekend. I responded because a) i would like to have my clothes back and b) i am curious to see where this interaction would go. But my response was neutral and did not indicate any sort of excitement. He sent another message the next day changing it to the following weekend (now this weekend). I responded a day later and told him that would work. He immediately tried calling and I did not pick up because I was busy. I did call back a few hours later because I don't mind catching up over the phone or whatever he had in mind. Never heard back from him and I highly doubt I'm getting those clothes.
Moral of the story is, we'll never know their true intentions. Maybe they were testing the waters and wanted to see how enthusiastic our response would be, and we didn't give into it. Maybe they were lonely and bored and had nobody else. I wish my ex never even reached out, as it slightly got my hopes up and I know I left one of my favorite jackets at his place. Regardless, if she reaches out again, I'd highly recommend not responding ever again. I sure wish I ignored his message.
Ugh I’m sorry about that it’s never a easy situation, I still have some of my exs clothes and other trinkets she left around as well and she has some of mine that were at her place but neither of us ever brought up the clothing. I think it’s like the saying curiosity killed the cat, her and I we actually got along great everything was always just so pure and nice. Then 6 months ago on Christmas Day I got the Happy Holidays text and then the btw I want to break up I love you as a friend but not as a lover, and I felt like my heart was torn out, we had all these vacation days set up together places we were going to visit and then it was all just gone. Then when she texted me out of the blue again some of those feelings came rushing back and I was like wow, but then I was like the guy you’re seeing wasn’t he not happy that you had me on your social media and texted me( the texting occurred because we were both visiting the same place on vacation and found it to be strange but we were in different areas) in which she texted me she’s going to unfriend me and not text me in respect for him. In which she said well he’s very understanding we have boundaries but he understands certain situations. Then all I said was okay.
I do agree we will never know what the true meaning or intuition was about the reason why they called or texted we can most likely make a novel about all the reasons but at the end of the day they truly know the true reason and I doubt they will ever tell us. I’m trying to not dig too deep into it but me and most of my friends all think it was just a convo starter for her and she just wanted to see how I would react. I’ve just never been the type of person to ignore someone I guess it’s a characteristic of mine that I’ve always had. So I said if the package comes I’ll definitely send it or drop it off to you but my gut feeling tells me it’s a ghost package the year and half we were together she was always very strict about ordering things online especially triple checking. It’s just funny how the world works it amazes me within 2 months of us splitting up she already had a new boyfriend when all she wanted to do is figure herself out and me all I’ve been doing is working on myself haven’t even thought about going on a date or anything yet.
okay i'm gonna play devils advocate of sorts because i could absolutely see myself doing this on accident. she genuinely might've ordered something by mistake (maybe it's a recurring order and she didn't check the shipping address bc it's an automatic reflex for her) but wanted to use it as a small excuse to talk to you once it happened (bc otherwise i don't think she would've said the thing about her guy being understanding and saying you can reach out to her if you need something). don't get your hopes up or anything though, the package could be real bc i know i'm capable of doing this sort of thing lol, but if she wanted to be together, she would say so. best of luck
I totally get that and how it can happen but I’m just going by how she was in person most of her shopping was always online so she was very very very strict about how she orders where it’s shipped and what credit cards were used. She moved around to a bunch of apartments so she was always deleting the old places and she only shipped 2 things ever to my house. She got rid of her Amazon because we would just use mine.
Yet it could be true that’s why I’m not digging too much into it she might have just wanted to see what I’ve been up too since her current boyfriend asked her to remove me from her social medias because it made him uncomfortable, that’s the reason why I was like hey I don’t want to tread on your relationship but wasn’t he not happy when you texted me that’s when she said he’s understanding and they have boundaries set up and I was okay if your package does come I’ll let you know and either drop it off or just send it to your place.
Tbh when she first broke up with me the first few months was hard because not only did I lose someone who I loved and cared about deeply but it was also my best friend. It’s just with all the self reflection and working on myself I just noticed I gave her a 110 percent of me we never had arguments and honestly we just got along so great. It’s just part of me is just like wow in 2 months you already got into a new relationship after our year and half relationship and now it’s 6 months and I still haven’t even gone on a date or thought about dating again.
I do appreciate the message and the words thank you life still goes on and from being on here and seeing peoples success stories of finding someone new or somehow things with exs workout gives people who have been dumped hope that things may seem bleak now but it’s not always like that.
i see, that is a little weird. (edit: could still be possible it was a genuine mistake because since i know i can order shit to the wrong place, i try to be careful about checking info twice or thrice over, but sometimes even that can fail me lol). but obviously you and ppl in your life know her better than i do. i'm sorry this happened, it sounds like you were a very considerate partner who tried to create the best relationship for you and this person and it just didn't work out. it's painful and i'm sorry. if she was just trying to do the indirect-direct approach, it's very inconsiderate of your pain, emotions, and continued healing. you're right though: even if things seem bleak rn, they won't always be like that. one day you'll wake up and realize that it doesn't hurt as much anymore, and it'll feel really good :) wishing you light and happiness in your life
Thank you for the kind words she was never a bad person either she taught me a lot about myself and I’m so grateful for that. It’s just a hard pill to swallow when you think you found your forever and it turns out being the total opposite. At the end of the day life goes on she’s the one who made the decision of not wanting me involved in her life and I understand that, you can never force someone to have feelings for you nor love you and sometimes some people it takes a bit of soul searching to do to figure out who and what is the right person. I have gotten a lot better and grown a lot from this experience and one day I’m sure I’ll look back and be like man did I really say or do this and just laugh about it. Thank you for the kind words :)
Definitely just a way to speak to you
What makes you say that if you don’t mind me asking? Like if I wanted to speak to someone I would just text them or call them normally.
My old self would have pulled this. But I’m a changed person. It’s a means of contact. Testing waters to see if you would still talk to her and the way you would. To see if she’s blocked. There would be many different factors. Of course I’m not her but yeah she’s doing it on purpose not by accident.
The thing I don’t get though is she’s the one who removed me from her social media because her current boyfriend didn’t like that she had me on there, as well not to talk with me anymore we had a short convo about us visiting the same place and then she wanted to “catch up” so then a few days later she ended up telling me he wasn’t comfortable with her talking with me anymore so that’s why I was removed.
Then the other thing is she dumped me and I didn’t go and make it a whole scene I was like I understand you have a lot going on and I get I was more hurt then she was I have her a 110 percent of myself then 2 months later she starts to date and gets into another relationship when she told me she needed a break and needed to focus on herself.
Also she could have just done a normal text not this whole get I sent something to you by mistake type of text and then start a convo about it not to mention now her boyfriend understands but they have boundaries about certain things. Like she’s clearly moved on since she has a new boyfriend so what does she get from talking with me especially coming up with this whole story about ordering something 😅
I feel you. She probably just needed any response from you. And hiding it this way so if her bf found out it wouldn’t look as bad. Don’t worry much. You’ll be healed in time and then someone else will come along and you’ll be totally over her.
I accidentally ordered something to my old work place, wasn't there for a year.
You've told her you'll forward it, leave it at that.
No that’s what I’m doing it’s just from being with her for a year and half and knowing how strict she is about online orders I just found it odd.
Ask for the shipping tracking number…..just so you don’t “miss” the package arriving.
No i would not reach out anymore, u can still change the adress in minutes, its all quessings
That’s what I thought as well I’m like everything you can change with just a simple click unless the item is already shipped and in route to my house and she just noticed it.
Wow that totally slipped my mind she didn’t even mention it either, Which makes me think the accident shipping thing isn’t true
Just ignore her msgs till she begs you to take her back