More than 500 days. Definitely got over this for life. I swear till I die he will never receive an ounce of response from me.
Still salty because I could not believe I was that dumb.
However it sure does give me tons of lessons and I have improved myself so much from that day.
I win :) Very proud of myself.
Gosh thank you for asking. This horrendous break up and the lessons from it legit got me an expert relationship advisor position among my girl best friends.
1) For the background, I entered this relationship during Covid so it was a combination of loneliness and boredom;
Furthermore, before this relationship, I barely read books on relationship. All knowledge I have are anecdotes from my other girl friends;
Another element is I grew up in an okay household but we do not have the healthiest relationship dynamics between my parents. Also in a society where we need to save face rather than divorce, suppressing emotions, high-context culture, so there is that.
2) All the above-mentioned elements lead me to have:
a. The needs for external validations but over-compensated by people-pleasing and over-achieving;
b. No role model of what a healthy rela should be like and;
c. Do not know what healthy boundary should be established;
d. On top of that, I was clueless on who I am as a person. What exactly do I want from my partner and in a rela;
e. I did have some relationship before this and was definitely not fully healed from them.
=> From Part 1 + Part 2, we can see that I entered this relationship with 0 knowledge about rela and myself, with a completely vague goal of what I want this rela to be like.
3) Here is the interesting part. Because I was completely clueless, my choice of partner indeed could not be worse:
a. They grew up in a completely broken household with no dad and near poverty-line. Not like we should discriminate them because of their situation, but honestly I was not healthy and secure myself to handle a broken human being;
b. We have complete different lifestyle before entering the relationship and no shared values on long-term partnership;
c. They were liking the idea of me (I was somewhat popular and accomplished, from a good socio-economic background);
d. They were in a bad phase of life and still stuck in a situationship;
e. They were very insecure and also super clueless of what they actually want and need from life.
4) So yeah all the recipe for a disaster has been prepared. Now onto the relationship dynamics:
a. Since we were both clueless of what we wanted in our partners + were so fundamentally different, we were trying hard to change the other people to our liking at that particular moment, not knowing whether it actually matched our needs and the relationship.
We did not know that we had an option to just leave if there were so much incompatibilities. Also we both had no established boundaries so we continued to hurt each other, break up and go back. Cycle repeated a couple times
We just want to exert power on each other and see who compromised more.
b. They were insecure and I was entitled. LOL needless to say more, nothing can be worse than this combination. I was somewhat the “princess” type so I talked a lot about my high-profile network of people, and they were super triggered thinking I was looking down on people like them.
c. We both did not actually respect and genuinely like each other. What we we had was nothing but infatuation and power-exertion. It was a game that we both played so there was no genuine understanding, attention and empathy.
=> A super super toxic dynamic. Though our intentions were not bad at first, we were blind by the game and got progressively worse with this dynamics. Very reactive and both hurt deeply.
So yeah sorry for a lengthy read lol but this is a great chance for me to reflect.
37 days, the grief comes in waves. I have very small moments of peace but mainly still got the knife in my chest. I hope my future self visits this comment again in a much better place.
Never.
After she got married, she completely ghosted me and never considered saying sorry to me. Moreover, she blocked me on social media.
At the beginning of this year, she unblocked me and started stalking me, even on LinkedIn.
However, I got my chance this time and blocked her everywhere. (Peace)
First ex 1 year 5 months, no issues because dumpee never reached out (because he already had a rebound lol)
2nd ex: 12 days. Dumper kept messaging me, last message on christmas, maybe 22 days after he dumped me. I think it's gonna stop now...
Four months and a half so like day 130ish. At this point it's over I'm not going to reach out no matter how much I want to. In all honesty it has to come out of them to want mend things between us. I gave them every chance and tired while they kept pushing me away and saying things like wanted to go back to how we were, missed laughing, etc. She would say one thing but her actions would say otherwise. They don't seem to have interest in actually fixings things based on how things fell apart. I wasn't a priority then let alone now without contact. So, it's safe to say it's over. We still follow each other on both our public and private socials. One day she'll be gone and that'll be that unfortunately.
Tbh,That was approx. Since we broke up in the year 2019, so, its got to be somewhere 700 to 800 I guess. Actually, I already have a girlfriend now. Life goes on. 😂
Well i still love her but i don't want to be with her anymore. I still miss those crazy joyful days when we were truly happy but things changed, today is far different and i remember her now as something occult or strange (can't explain further). Anyway we were lovers, now we are strangers. I wish her the best and I'll answer my phone if she need me, but my door is closed, she just lost her allowance to my life. Do you understand?
About 5 years since my last ex. Never thought I’d get over her, but now I often forget she even existed.
Now, I’m wondering whether I should be speaking to the friend with benefits that I have caught feelings for, but she’s not ready for a relationship. So I’m hanging around this sub that has served me well in the past…
Day 19 and it feels like 4 months have passed. Its like every minute that we don’t talk is a minute they decide and choose not to have me in their life. Another minute that passes is like another reminder that I’m not wanted.
400+ lol. After contacting my friends, texting me twice, following me, making playlists about me and posting stupid social media stories, i have held strong 💪🏻💪🏻
Day 385 and to this day no matter how many people come u pro tell me about her or what she’s doing i still say that I don’t care. For the rest of you keep going strong you are better that you think you are
Since December 8th and it was a situationship.
Broke nc cause a recent ex msg me merry Christmas and out of everyone surprised it was her lol 😂 @ 5am when she clearly has a bf
52 days aside from me responding to her Christmas wish. I ended up apologizing for a lot of my unsavory behavior (I was selfish & neglectful) during the relationship, which she appreciated. I'm going to stop my count now and let go because at this point, even though I was dumped, she made the right call & there's no animosity. This isn't something I want to carry with me for life. NC is great for reclaiming yourself, but it won't be my cage.
Roughly 75 days, doesn’t really hurt anymore, more just annoyed that I never fully explained to her how her shitty behaviour towards me pushed me to end things again (and for the last time this time)
6 years, yearly hoover attempts. Never ever stop no contact. Took me 7 circle rounds to finally do no contact for good. Each time the discard was more brutal. The longer you stay the longer it takes to heal.
I’m on 142 days but it’s not by my choice. She ghosted me after a stupid argument I regret every day. I’ve tried to leave her be. I only reached out a few times to apologize for the misunderstanding and see if we can repair our friend group at least. I never get a response.
0 because i still check their social media but i havent replied to anything for a year and a half.
really need to get serious and forget them completely.
47 days for me but idk if we are going to count Christmas.. he reached out and told me merry Christmas but if we are not counting Christmas then like I mentioned… 47 days :( I miss him so much smh
1,095th . I win.
That’s honestly just forgetting someone existed at that point
I pretend he died. Not the same thing.
No clue how I ended up on this subreddit but I can’t see how this isn’t a way to obsess over someone from afar…little self defeating in a way🤷♂️
Right behind you - 1,092nd.
1,323rd for me lol
More than 500 days. Definitely got over this for life. I swear till I die he will never receive an ounce of response from me. Still salty because I could not believe I was that dumb. However it sure does give me tons of lessons and I have improved myself so much from that day. I win :) Very proud of myself.
Can you tell your story in brief ?
Gosh thank you for asking. This horrendous break up and the lessons from it legit got me an expert relationship advisor position among my girl best friends. 1) For the background, I entered this relationship during Covid so it was a combination of loneliness and boredom; Furthermore, before this relationship, I barely read books on relationship. All knowledge I have are anecdotes from my other girl friends; Another element is I grew up in an okay household but we do not have the healthiest relationship dynamics between my parents. Also in a society where we need to save face rather than divorce, suppressing emotions, high-context culture, so there is that. 2) All the above-mentioned elements lead me to have: a. The needs for external validations but over-compensated by people-pleasing and over-achieving; b. No role model of what a healthy rela should be like and; c. Do not know what healthy boundary should be established; d. On top of that, I was clueless on who I am as a person. What exactly do I want from my partner and in a rela; e. I did have some relationship before this and was definitely not fully healed from them. => From Part 1 + Part 2, we can see that I entered this relationship with 0 knowledge about rela and myself, with a completely vague goal of what I want this rela to be like. 3) Here is the interesting part. Because I was completely clueless, my choice of partner indeed could not be worse: a. They grew up in a completely broken household with no dad and near poverty-line. Not like we should discriminate them because of their situation, but honestly I was not healthy and secure myself to handle a broken human being; b. We have complete different lifestyle before entering the relationship and no shared values on long-term partnership; c. They were liking the idea of me (I was somewhat popular and accomplished, from a good socio-economic background); d. They were in a bad phase of life and still stuck in a situationship; e. They were very insecure and also super clueless of what they actually want and need from life. 4) So yeah all the recipe for a disaster has been prepared. Now onto the relationship dynamics: a. Since we were both clueless of what we wanted in our partners + were so fundamentally different, we were trying hard to change the other people to our liking at that particular moment, not knowing whether it actually matched our needs and the relationship. We did not know that we had an option to just leave if there were so much incompatibilities. Also we both had no established boundaries so we continued to hurt each other, break up and go back. Cycle repeated a couple times We just want to exert power on each other and see who compromised more. b. They were insecure and I was entitled. LOL needless to say more, nothing can be worse than this combination. I was somewhat the “princess” type so I talked a lot about my high-profile network of people, and they were super triggered thinking I was looking down on people like them. c. We both did not actually respect and genuinely like each other. What we we had was nothing but infatuation and power-exertion. It was a game that we both played so there was no genuine understanding, attention and empathy. => A super super toxic dynamic. Though our intentions were not bad at first, we were blind by the game and got progressively worse with this dynamics. Very reactive and both hurt deeply. So yeah sorry for a lengthy read lol but this is a great chance for me to reflect.
Thank you for sharing
I am so glad you shared and this story is pretty similar to minr
37 days, the grief comes in waves. I have very small moments of peace but mainly still got the knife in my chest. I hope my future self visits this comment again in a much better place.
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My counter started over as of yesterday… so Day 1
Same
Sucks..
Same I'm at 22 hours , he embarrassed me really bad this time by insinuating...
Six years and still growing strong not to call her again. Not in a relationship, though. I am just enjoying my single life.
Has she contacted you at all?
Never. After she got married, she completely ghosted me and never considered saying sorry to me. Moreover, she blocked me on social media. At the beginning of this year, she unblocked me and started stalking me, even on LinkedIn. However, I got my chance this time and blocked her everywhere. (Peace)
So proud of you i know it can be hard especially when they are going and getting married but it’s obviously you have something they missed
7. She just called 3x middle of last night. Little bit of a mind fuck but I’m pushing on
10 hours
Just got broke up like 2 hours ago so it will be 1 hour for me
Day 90 of Radio Silence
Day four. It’s hard
A year.
How are you feeling after a year? I’m on 7 months
Relieved and i want nothing to do with him.. i have zero tolerance for disrespect, humiliation and inconsideration.
Proud of you 😇 I want to get to this point
You will, just believe in yourself and trust the process, you got this 😊
gah ur amazing, can’t wait to get to where u are. only 3 and a half months in.
Remember, time and patience are key, be patient with yourself, you won’t be feeling like this forever 😊
u have no idea how much i needed to hear that. i wish u all the love and happiness in the future <3
300!!!
7 months.
Are you still hoping they are going to reach out?
No, I’m beyond past that point.
205 days here
2 because I caved on Christmas while I was sobbing like a little girl.
Did you get a response?
75 days for me
How are you feeling?
I’d be lying if I said I was alright. Still hurts
5 lol
112. Still sucks. Had to deal with an engagement announcement on Christmas Day so that was fun. Blocked her yesterday though.
Sorry to hear that
23 days :-|
Same :(
Just a little over 1 month.
30 today🥹
Was day 19. Tomorrow WILL be day 1 again. Makes me sick.
10 days but feels like it’s so much longer 😭
I’m the same as you
159 days, or a little over 5 months
3 or 4 months 😂 stopped counting but pushing
3.5 years together. It’s been 130 days.
43 almost 44 days. Sometimes it still feels like day 1.
5/6 months and counting, I will never reach out to them.
First ex 1 year 5 months, no issues because dumpee never reached out (because he already had a rebound lol) 2nd ex: 12 days. Dumper kept messaging me, last message on christmas, maybe 22 days after he dumped me. I think it's gonna stop now...
Almost 1 year
33
Day 13 it does get better
4 weeks
7 days…
Day 4..
Day 43 for me
70 days
15. Would be 31 but they reached out two weeks ago to clear up some financial dues.
Day 14 today. It has been hell..
It’ll be a year in March 2023.
47 days for me
6 months
3 months
day 39
Idk about 180?
52 I think
55 .. aside from replying “thank you” to his hbd text and “yeah” when he tried to make small talk at work. Still struggling every day though 😣
16 days 😣
I’ve lost count. But he was viewing my tik tok a few days ago and even liked my most recent post from Christmas
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Four months and a half so like day 130ish. At this point it's over I'm not going to reach out no matter how much I want to. In all honesty it has to come out of them to want mend things between us. I gave them every chance and tired while they kept pushing me away and saying things like wanted to go back to how we were, missed laughing, etc. She would say one thing but her actions would say otherwise. They don't seem to have interest in actually fixings things based on how things fell apart. I wasn't a priority then let alone now without contact. So, it's safe to say it's over. We still follow each other on both our public and private socials. One day she'll be gone and that'll be that unfortunately.
800th day and looking forward to making it forever. 😉 yay!!
The fact that you’re on day 800 and *still* counting is sad.
Tbh,That was approx. Since we broke up in the year 2019, so, its got to be somewhere 700 to 800 I guess. Actually, I already have a girlfriend now. Life goes on. 😂
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Don't! You know you'll regret it!
4, longest we’ve gone NC since the BU was 2 weeks but I think this is finally going to be indefinite for my own sanity
Around 380. It's really amazing how different my feelings are one year later.
Can you elaborate?
Well i still love her but i don't want to be with her anymore. I still miss those crazy joyful days when we were truly happy but things changed, today is far different and i remember her now as something occult or strange (can't explain further). Anyway we were lovers, now we are strangers. I wish her the best and I'll answer my phone if she need me, but my door is closed, she just lost her allowance to my life. Do you understand?
Yes mate... and your response has made me rethink my own ex-dumper... Thank you.
About 5 years since my last ex. Never thought I’d get over her, but now I often forget she even existed. Now, I’m wondering whether I should be speaking to the friend with benefits that I have caught feelings for, but she’s not ready for a relationship. So I’m hanging around this sub that has served me well in the past…
Day 19 and it feels like 4 months have passed. Its like every minute that we don’t talk is a minute they decide and choose not to have me in their life. Another minute that passes is like another reminder that I’m not wanted.
Day 488th or something to the effect.
165, and NEVER going back
Zero. I can’t do it
400+ lol. After contacting my friends, texting me twice, following me, making playlists about me and posting stupid social media stories, i have held strong 💪🏻💪🏻
Day 385 and to this day no matter how many people come u pro tell me about her or what she’s doing i still say that I don’t care. For the rest of you keep going strong you are better that you think you are
460
2 years and 23 days (ETA: 753)
4 months
1 week 3 days
Moving to 7 months.
Around 2 months
1. He reached out yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. I said thanks. So dumb.
My birthday is coming up so I'll be on standby by for that , he can keep his birthday wishes
Two months for me.
4ish months, but then eight before that
Since December 8th and it was a situationship. Broke nc cause a recent ex msg me merry Christmas and out of everyone surprised it was her lol 😂 @ 5am when she clearly has a bf
123 days 😭 last time I saw her too. I’d do anything to see her again. Guess I just have to keep moving forward
3 months
Coming up on 5 months.. time flies. Still think about him daily.
Around 220 I think
40 days for me
Almost 2 months.
Almost 4 months 🥳🎉🍾
Two months :))
A little over 800 days
a year and a half almost
13 ):
Day 8 haha
3 months
120 days
-18 days
About a month
Not counting lol it's been two months I think? I don't care enough to keep track, and it's a win for me.
8 Months
Just over 150 days. She beat me up, and then played the victim so I’m never speaking to her again
Zero. FML.
2+ years
7 weeks for me today. For some reason struggling think I’m just tired. Odd.
52 days aside from me responding to her Christmas wish. I ended up apologizing for a lot of my unsavory behavior (I was selfish & neglectful) during the relationship, which she appreciated. I'm going to stop my count now and let go because at this point, even though I was dumped, she made the right call & there's no animosity. This isn't something I want to carry with me for life. NC is great for reclaiming yourself, but it won't be my cage.
The day where I finally stopped counting the days or caring. Finally. It feels good.
22. One minute I’m completely fine and feel like I’m getting over it and the next I’m down in the dumps. I know it’ll get easier tho
3 days….she reached out on Christmas
Sixth. Gonna be a week in less than 4 hours.
35 days
day 13
119 days
87
93 and going strong, keep it up everyone!
Almost year 3 with my ex, and perhaps year 1-2 with my friends (if that counts)
303
Almost 4 months and am happier than ever ☺️☺️
About 13 months
I’m probably on day 50 although I’ve lost count 😂
Unfortunately just day 3
day 20 and its been 20 days since the breakup 🫡
101 days :)
31 - He sent me a Merry Christmas text on Christmas Day … I ignored. Stay no contact unless they text something significant and you want them back.
Day 20 so far
58 days
Day 15. I've just spent 2 weeks of intense anger and now starting to fall into the depressed zone.
51 days
Something like 150. Stopped counting I’m happy to say 🤗
Over 2 years and I still miss our family.
Almost 63 days, as of tomorrow.
110 :/
2nd day lol
27 days.
4 months and 9 days! So 130 days!! 🥳
Day 14 here….
I was on almost 6 years of NC and out of the blue he broke it 🙄🙄🙄 I was so pissed
6 weeks
i started no contact over on saturday so it’ll be 4 days in
Roughly 75 days, doesn’t really hurt anymore, more just annoyed that I never fully explained to her how her shitty behaviour towards me pushed me to end things again (and for the last time this time)
50 days, (almost 2 months now) it’ll be 2 months January 8th
Day 3
130
5 month idk in days
We’ve communicated over stuff in a perfunctory manner via email (he’s blocked me everywhere else) but around 120 days - I don’t count
6 years, yearly hoover attempts. Never ever stop no contact. Took me 7 circle rounds to finally do no contact for good. Each time the discard was more brutal. The longer you stay the longer it takes to heal.
30 days today!! Proud of myself!
Like 4.
day 119
110
344.
I’m on 142 days but it’s not by my choice. She ghosted me after a stupid argument I regret every day. I’ve tried to leave her be. I only reached out a few times to apologize for the misunderstanding and see if we can repair our friend group at least. I never get a response.
0 because i still check their social media but i havent replied to anything for a year and a half. really need to get serious and forget them completely.
10 days and I wanna kms
10 days
47 days for me but idk if we are going to count Christmas.. he reached out and told me merry Christmas but if we are not counting Christmas then like I mentioned… 47 days :( I miss him so much smh
183rd. Crazy to think it’s been that long since i last spoke & saw that person. Doing good nonetheless though!