I'm referring to them allegedly "throwing Haein under the bus" as some Korean fans claim to distract from his own rules breach and allow him to get by without worse sanctions
I'm glad you brought this up because it was honestly the first thing that came to mind when I heard about this. South Korea has a massive misogyny issue, and I think a lot of people are thinking about this in a purely western context.
I feel really conflicted about all of this because I want to support victims, but especially now that I've heard they were in a relationship, I'm not sure there *was* a victim, and it's not just the KSU discovering the relationship and punishing the woman for daring to be "improper" at a training camp while letting the guy slide.
If it truly wasn't consensual then I of course think it's right to punish her, but at this point we have such little information about what happened that it's hard to say if she actually deserves it or not.
I'm reserving judgment for now.
Even if you take in the western context, we know how legit sexual assault cases get dimissed with the excuse of “boys will be boys” or “she’s lying for money” and blaming the women/girls for “putting themselves in the situation” and men get off unscathed while the women bares the image of whore and left with trauma and experience exactly the opposite of getting justice.
I mean I completely disagree. You can absolutely be a victim without reporting it. You can also say that you’re in a relationship or that something is consensual out of denial, fear, or any other number of reasons.
The fact that they’re in a relationship is immaterial to whether or not the behavior is actually sexual harassment or sexual assault. We’re talking about a 19yo giving alcohol to a minor and engaging with sexually explicit behavior with him all while breaking a litany of KSU training camp rules. Just because they may have done this before when they were both minors doesn’t mean that now it’s consensual or that now there isn’t some form of undue power imbalance through which he may have felt he needed to get with her.
From the sound of it, this was also going on when he was potentially as young as THIRTEEN.
And on top of all of it, you still have another party taking sexually explicit photos (potentially if a minor) and distributing them to a minor.
I can relate, because I've been feeling conflicted pretty much the same reasons. Korea has strict notions of propriety and impropriety, especially over women's behaviours, and pearl-clutching over something seriously innocuous, but somehow actual sexual crimes of male perpetrators are so easily brushed aside or taken so ridiculously lightly (that is, if they actually get punished at all for their crimes -- like things like Burning Sun Scandal, are you kidding me with how lightly they got OFF), that it's hard to trust things being fair or equal. I read some comments saying that KSU giving three year ban on her must mean her actions must've been something really heinous, but I actually can't see that as a proof of anything.
I’m sure they will ask skater C his side of the story during the retrial. If what she’s saying is the truth then that punishment is too harsh. I hope it gets reduced. The relationship might be inappropriate but it’s understandable how that happened considered she just became a legal adult a month before the camp.
That kind of age gap is really not unusual among teenagers. Many countries have some form of Romeo and Juliet laws to protect teenagers from being prosecuted in this exact situation
Yeah a lot of people here were praising KSU for taking sexual assault victims seriously and so on, but that's framing them in a very Western way of thinking that probably doesn't actually match what they were doing at all.
If this was actually consensual and just a continuation of their old relationship, then C's hands weren't really clean either even though he's a minor. The fact that they threw the book at Haein while doing nothing to C kind of makes me worry that they were intentionally letting the females take all the heat to protect the male like you were mentioning; I certainly don't trust that justice for victims is KSU's main concern here.
>We see male offenders get away with crimes, while women are being sued/going to jail over reporting sexual assault. I whole heartedly support male victims, but South Korea simply does not care about female victims equally.
interesting cultural viewpoint on the situation that i hadn't taken into consideration. it alters my perspective a bit.
Sadly it was my first thought. Japan is pretty similar; they have very PR-friendly things like women-only train carriages, but nothing to actually address the underlying issue of *why* there needs to be a women-only carriage in the first place. My friend was raised mainly in suburban North London and now lives in Kyoto, and she’s often talked about the cultural disparity towards misogynistic behaviour and SA/harassment.
I do agree with you about men getting away with things though… This is *actually* a bit similar to a case in Kpop in the recent past but with the genders flipped. One of the most anticipated boy groups (Riize) debuted with one member (named Seunghan) accused of being a predator because photos of him with his past girlfriend were leaked (supposedly at a motel but the company pr has never confirmed anything, I think they denied). His girlfriend was typically believed to be 2 years younger with them both being minors at the time they dated. He is currently 20, and his ex girlfriend is still legally a minor.
He still gets harassed by internet goers and the public for this (predator allegations) and it seems likely he won’t ever be reinstated into his group.
You would probably not be this understanding if it was a 18 year old successful male skater dating a 15 year old female skater who felt that the hickey was not given towards her with her consent and now is in therapy. You need to keep in mind that while female victims are often not taken seriously enough, male victims are not taken seriously at all. And a lot of you here in this thread are contributing to it with sentiments like this
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but for her to be determined to have committed sexual assault, wouldn't there only be two options: it was reported by the victim as a nonconsensual act (which a prior relationship does not negate) or they were deemed unable to give consent (did not meet the age of consent which is 16 in korea). Either this was reported as a nonconsensual sexual act (by someone who was deemed able to give consent by law) and should be treated a such regardless of prior relationship status, or the age gap is actually 4+ years, which would make them dating last year even more concerning (and still nonconsensual as a person under 15 cannot consent). Them being in a relationship prior does nothing to negate the possibility of sexual assault taking place. Maybe I am being to harsh or missing something, but I am not at all conflicted about this situation.
I don't think anyone here is negating the possibility of sexual assault taking place. From what I read in Korean, at least on newspapers, KSU deemed the action(s) as behaviour(s) that can be sexually discomforting/uncomfortable, which in Korean is classified as sexual harassment/assault category. That's all we have to go on with, other than the words of the parties involved (whether they can be trusted or not).
I don’t give a shit about how harsh Korea is on women versus men when we’re talking about a 17-18-year-old dating and potentially sleeping with a 13-14-year-old (which is what the situation here is, not the nicer version you made up in your head). She’s trash. Stop excusing her actions.
The nuanced position you think you're taking here is "male sexual predators often face no consequences, so a part of me wishes this female sexual predator wouldn't face any consequences either."
I'm an atheist, but I appreciate the light sprinkle of Islamophobia in your insults. Really goes well with the desperate pedo apologia.
Two adult women called a 15-year-old boy over to their room multiple times, gave him alcohol, and sent him explicit photos. One of them made unwanted sexual advances toward him, after having been in a "relationship" with him when he was as young as 13-14. After she got punished, she released a public statement claiming everything she's ever done with this boy was perfectly consensual and this is all one big misunderstanding, in the process drawing negative attention to him and implying he's a faithless crybaby for betraying their love.
Now dangerous morons like you are ignoring the whole sexual harassment charge, the part where she violated the privacy of someone she claims to care about, etc. like none of it ever happened and saying dating across a 4-year age gap in your teens is "normal" and happens in every high school. No, it doesn't. When I was 17, 13-year-olds weren't even real people to me and my peers, let alone objects of sexual attraction. Stop lying and stop abusing the word "normal."
Thank you! I feel like crying because the comments are making me so frustrated. People are legitimately saying since they were ina relationship, it’s okay. Legally, if he was underage , he cannot consent whether they were in a relationship or otherwise. Thats a fact.
And 13 yos! Jesus Christ. They are children. Point blank. Imagine myself at 13 and at 16/17/18. No fucking way that’s okay.
Your submission has been removed for violating Rule 4.
>4. Be civil in discussing skating figures.
> Blunt criticism of skaters, officials, and other skating figures is welcome, but please remember to be civil even when being critical. Excessive hostility, body shaming/eating disorder speculation, degrading commentary, name calling, and ill-wishing are not. "I don't think XYZ deserved that score and ABC should have won over them?" Fine. "XYZ is trash garbage and I hope they fall four times?" Not fine. We will hand out 3 day suspensions for the first and second offenses under this rule, with a permanent ban on the third offense.
So we're now excusing sexual abuse in a relationship? And using the "misogyny" excuse? I can't believe this. Women always get away with everything, always the victim, right? Gross
Korea is a deeply misogynistic country. They will give a women more jail time for a “false accusation” of rape (determined because the cctv showed she wasn’t crying when she left) than men who admitted to multiple rapes, even gang rapes.
Translation:
Hello. This is Lee Hae-in.
I am truly sorry. I don't have words to say to the many fans who are disappointed in me.
As a national athlete, I should have presented a better self to younger athletes, and I should have focused diligently and solely on training on behalf of those other athlethes who weren't even able to go to the training camp, but in my short sightedness I have made a huge mistake.
Drinking alcohol is something I should have never done, and I am continually deeply reflecting on my mistake now.
Afterward, I have been wondering why I made such a mistake and regretting it every day.
However, the news has reported that I sexually assaulted and sexually victimized a minor, and that is not true.
He is a boyfriend I dated last year when I was a high schooler, and because of parents' opposition we broke up, and then met again at this training camp.
Perhaps it's because we still had feelings for each other, but we started dating again while we were there, and because we didn't want to tell our parents we decided to keep it a secret.
At the time of the ice skating federation's investigation I couldn't say we were dating, but to hear that this has become talk of me sexually assaulting a minor, it's like my world has come crashing down.
I thought it was playful or affectionate behavior that could take place between a couple, and even though we couldn't reveal that we were dating, I could never have imagined being on the receiving end of this kind of misunderstanding.
Since I was young I have received an exceeding amount of expectations and love, and I am truly sorry to show myself so lacking.
I will deeply reflect no matter what punishment the Korea Sports Council delivers, and will work hard to never make this kind of mistake again.
Lee Hae-in
I don't know the age gap is not that big but when you are that young 3 years can be a lot, it's not like you are 20 and your partner is 23. I still find it weird.
It happens in some particular circumstances. When I was 17, the age in my class ranged from 15 to 19. One of my friends who was 16 dated the 19 yo. The thing is that even if they were almost 3 years apart (2,5 more closely), they basically were at the same point in their life journey and had the same status. Frankly, because we were all classmates, we forgot about the age difference. And honestly none of the teachers or the parents had issues with that.
This doesn't mean abuse, taking advantage doesn't exist but there are circumstances where having a relationship (platonic or romantic) does happen more naturally. When I was a teenager, I spent hours and hours in my music school. I knew better my music peers than people from school. Their age? 25 to 35 yo. They all treated me well and I look back at them fondly. I was bullied at school so adults were the 'safe ones' contrarily to teenagers 'to avoid'.
Figure skating is a bit of the same thing as my 2 other examples. The pool of athletes is not that big so in training, competitions, you will have to interact with people who are younger or older than you. The limited hours in school will have an impact in the relationship with the classmates and they will have probably a closer relationship with their rinkmates. And interacting with someone every day, people will forget about the age difference.
Is it a good thing? I would be a hypocrite casting definite judgement. But I also understand how a 16 and a 19 yo in those circumstances end up dating.
yeah i get your point but tbh they both have lives outside of figure skating and wouldnt it be more reasonable to date someone closer to their age range?
That's a hard question and one we can't answer. Sure, it would be more reasonable to date someone closer to their age but we don't know how much of a life they really have outside of FS (no, we can't base that on IG) or if they have many rinkmates are close to their age.
Personally, because my music peers were 10 years older than me and I was alienated from my schoolmates (partially due to my music), I never could date anyone in my high school years. There was just no one in my dating options.
yeah true, since considering most figure skaters in school (at least in korea) they do half days most of the times i think so yeah most likely that most people they know are fellow skaters, however i still think theyd have some peers in class as well as other skaters who are within similar age range
Yeah but an 18 and 16 doesn’t sound quite as weird and she just turned 19? Like yeah I think it’s not a good age gap but also think it may fall within a gray zone. Especially since 19 is age of majority, this is equivalent to someone just turning 18 (reaching legal adulthood). 19 and 16 is equivalent to our 18 and 15 in some ways. Like a 17 year old senior and a 15 year old freshman start dating in high school, does the senior have to break up with the person when they turn 18?
18 and 16 is def more acceptable but they have a three year gap between them in korean age so its more like 19 and 16 than 18 and 16 in this situation imo
and also korean school system is different as well, they have 3 years of high school and they follow the korean age system so they wouldve never been to high school at the same time
Korea has the three year system and its usually 17-19 (in korean age) so yeah C and Haein wouldve never gone to high school together i mean unless there are people who repeat a year (i know a girl who’s doing this) or people who are skipping grades its usually around 17~19
Okay, even accepting that I’m viewing it through a western lens that does not take away from the inherent creepiness. It still exists. Not everything that’s culturally acceptable in certain places should be accepted by outsiders. Think about how acceptable it is that women are not supposed to touch certain things or do certain acts when on their period in certain cultures, that’s wrong. Simple.
Just another reminder that we don't know Haein or any of the skaters we see on TV. We may enjoy their skating but their talent isn't indicative of what they're like as a person.
Our stance on all this shouldn’t really change just because the person accused of sexual harassment/assault of a minor says that it was consensual.
Also sexual harassment & assault can still happen within relationships and marriages. And focusing on their relationship status when discussing consent is extra gross to begin with because again, the victim is a minor.
Let’s just sit tight and wait for more updates & information without writing posts defending the assumed age difference in their relationship and saying that it’s “not that bad” ??
Totally fair that we can’t judge without knowing context. But I do think some of our laws aren’t really appropriate for consensual teen relationships. Like I’m a therapist and I used to work in a state that required me to report ANY sexual contact of some one under 16. So like I would have been legally required to report a 16 year old girl who is having sex with their 15 year old boyfriend to the dcfs and the police.
This state has an “underage sexual activity” statute that prohibits having sexual contact or sexual intercourse with a 15-year-old if the defendant is under the age of 19. Underage sexual activity constitutes a Class A misdemeanor. So this 16 year old girl would be charged with a misdemeanor for having consensual sex with her boyfriend who could be only a few days younger than her but not yet 16.
For real! 12 yos who have been raped by adults can and have said the same thing, how they are in love etc. that has never ever made it okay. It is is the adult who is in the wrong.
Fully support her in fighting for her rights to a clear transparent investigation procedure and justice. The minor can also fight for his rights if there is any sexual contact of any sort. Wish to hear from the parties involved and not from a third party.
all this talking about love and relationship w/a child is super weird. it doesn't make it better, that's for sure. that it was going on last year as well when he was even younger is also not good. this is really terrible.
Last year at their ages they could have been in an American high school together and were not or at least we shouldn’t be telling high schoolers that they can’t date outside their grade level. This is messy and there should be some consequences but treating this exactly the same as a 36 year old dating 16 year old is nonsensical.
Even at that, my friend was young for our grade and dated someone old for our grade. There were 3 years in age difference. He graduated at 19, her at 16.
idk pro-age-gap math always plays these games. no one is saying it's the same as a 20yr age gap, and i personally am not accusing her of sexual assault or anything at all. but to say no we were lovers last year when he was even younger doesn't make it sound better to me, it sounds worse.
in korea i’m pretty sure their relationship, at any stage, was protected by law in terms of their ages. 14-18 year-olds are allowed to date and then the age of consent is 16.
yeah, i guess this is probably why she is making a big point about last year, to put it in the safe zone? idk, i honestly do hope everything is sorted out and dealt with fairly for everyone's sake.
I don’t know maybe I have a skewed perspective from having been groomed into a relationship with someone over 10 years older than me when I was a teenager but I don’t think saying a 3 year age gap between teenagers is gross is the right way to go about things
yes, you know this is a fair point. i didn't use the word gross but "weird" and "terrible" aren't much better. i think you all have made me much more open minded to her side in this. and i think probably is just b/c the younger person is so young. but i'm thinking as an adult and these are teenagers. very fair points you've made.
No you’re right and the downvotes are saying a lot. 18 and 14/15 is wrong. Why do people keep saying relationships between teenagers as if a) there can’t be consent issues b) ignoring how different a 13 and an 18 yo are! Or a 14/15 yo to 18/19 yo.
If it was something serious, she would have been arrested by now.
The situation is clearly not worth the disqualification, which is equivalent to the end of a career.
No. That’s not how it works. If the victim does not want to press charges, they cannot go forward with it that does not mean a wrong was not committed, So many people have never gone to jail and have absolutely raped/assaulted people.
Battered women would be happy to see this comment section. I'm sure if it was the other way around,you all would also defend the man saying it's ok to sexual abuse his girlfriend/wife just because they are in a relationship. lol
So did C’s parents find pictures on his phone and report this? If the parents didn’t want them together could this by why it came to light?
Certainly plausible, if their opposition was strong enough. We’ll have to wait and see I guess.
Some Korean fans are claiming C's parents are also skating coaches and did this to prevent his career being affected long-term
I'm naiive, how could having a girlfriend who's internationally respected hurt your career long term? Or is it more than any girl is a distraction?
I'm referring to them allegedly "throwing Haein under the bus" as some Korean fans claim to distract from his own rules breach and allow him to get by without worse sanctions
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I'm glad you brought this up because it was honestly the first thing that came to mind when I heard about this. South Korea has a massive misogyny issue, and I think a lot of people are thinking about this in a purely western context. I feel really conflicted about all of this because I want to support victims, but especially now that I've heard they were in a relationship, I'm not sure there *was* a victim, and it's not just the KSU discovering the relationship and punishing the woman for daring to be "improper" at a training camp while letting the guy slide. If it truly wasn't consensual then I of course think it's right to punish her, but at this point we have such little information about what happened that it's hard to say if she actually deserves it or not. I'm reserving judgment for now.
If it’s any comfort, it was my first thought as well and I also felt conflicted.
Even if you take in the western context, we know how legit sexual assault cases get dimissed with the excuse of “boys will be boys” or “she’s lying for money” and blaming the women/girls for “putting themselves in the situation” and men get off unscathed while the women bares the image of whore and left with trauma and experience exactly the opposite of getting justice.
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I mean I completely disagree. You can absolutely be a victim without reporting it. You can also say that you’re in a relationship or that something is consensual out of denial, fear, or any other number of reasons. The fact that they’re in a relationship is immaterial to whether or not the behavior is actually sexual harassment or sexual assault. We’re talking about a 19yo giving alcohol to a minor and engaging with sexually explicit behavior with him all while breaking a litany of KSU training camp rules. Just because they may have done this before when they were both minors doesn’t mean that now it’s consensual or that now there isn’t some form of undue power imbalance through which he may have felt he needed to get with her. From the sound of it, this was also going on when he was potentially as young as THIRTEEN. And on top of all of it, you still have another party taking sexually explicit photos (potentially if a minor) and distributing them to a minor.
I can relate, because I've been feeling conflicted pretty much the same reasons. Korea has strict notions of propriety and impropriety, especially over women's behaviours, and pearl-clutching over something seriously innocuous, but somehow actual sexual crimes of male perpetrators are so easily brushed aside or taken so ridiculously lightly (that is, if they actually get punished at all for their crimes -- like things like Burning Sun Scandal, are you kidding me with how lightly they got OFF), that it's hard to trust things being fair or equal. I read some comments saying that KSU giving three year ban on her must mean her actions must've been something really heinous, but I actually can't see that as a proof of anything.
I’m sure they will ask skater C his side of the story during the retrial. If what she’s saying is the truth then that punishment is too harsh. I hope it gets reduced. The relationship might be inappropriate but it’s understandable how that happened considered she just became a legal adult a month before the camp.
That kind of age gap is really not unusual among teenagers. Many countries have some form of Romeo and Juliet laws to protect teenagers from being prosecuted in this exact situation
Another point here is that the minor also agreed to admit publicly that they were in a relationship when the "incident" occurred.
Yeah a lot of people here were praising KSU for taking sexual assault victims seriously and so on, but that's framing them in a very Western way of thinking that probably doesn't actually match what they were doing at all. If this was actually consensual and just a continuation of their old relationship, then C's hands weren't really clean either even though he's a minor. The fact that they threw the book at Haein while doing nothing to C kind of makes me worry that they were intentionally letting the females take all the heat to protect the male like you were mentioning; I certainly don't trust that justice for victims is KSU's main concern here.
>We see male offenders get away with crimes, while women are being sued/going to jail over reporting sexual assault. I whole heartedly support male victims, but South Korea simply does not care about female victims equally. interesting cultural viewpoint on the situation that i hadn't taken into consideration. it alters my perspective a bit.
Sadly it was my first thought. Japan is pretty similar; they have very PR-friendly things like women-only train carriages, but nothing to actually address the underlying issue of *why* there needs to be a women-only carriage in the first place. My friend was raised mainly in suburban North London and now lives in Kyoto, and she’s often talked about the cultural disparity towards misogynistic behaviour and SA/harassment.
I do agree with you about men getting away with things though… This is *actually* a bit similar to a case in Kpop in the recent past but with the genders flipped. One of the most anticipated boy groups (Riize) debuted with one member (named Seunghan) accused of being a predator because photos of him with his past girlfriend were leaked (supposedly at a motel but the company pr has never confirmed anything, I think they denied). His girlfriend was typically believed to be 2 years younger with them both being minors at the time they dated. He is currently 20, and his ex girlfriend is still legally a minor. He still gets harassed by internet goers and the public for this (predator allegations) and it seems likely he won’t ever be reinstated into his group.
You would probably not be this understanding if it was a 18 year old successful male skater dating a 15 year old female skater who felt that the hickey was not given towards her with her consent and now is in therapy. You need to keep in mind that while female victims are often not taken seriously enough, male victims are not taken seriously at all. And a lot of you here in this thread are contributing to it with sentiments like this
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but for her to be determined to have committed sexual assault, wouldn't there only be two options: it was reported by the victim as a nonconsensual act (which a prior relationship does not negate) or they were deemed unable to give consent (did not meet the age of consent which is 16 in korea). Either this was reported as a nonconsensual sexual act (by someone who was deemed able to give consent by law) and should be treated a such regardless of prior relationship status, or the age gap is actually 4+ years, which would make them dating last year even more concerning (and still nonconsensual as a person under 15 cannot consent). Them being in a relationship prior does nothing to negate the possibility of sexual assault taking place. Maybe I am being to harsh or missing something, but I am not at all conflicted about this situation.
I don't think anyone here is negating the possibility of sexual assault taking place. From what I read in Korean, at least on newspapers, KSU deemed the action(s) as behaviour(s) that can be sexually discomforting/uncomfortable, which in Korean is classified as sexual harassment/assault category. That's all we have to go on with, other than the words of the parties involved (whether they can be trusted or not).
I don’t give a shit about how harsh Korea is on women versus men when we’re talking about a 17-18-year-old dating and potentially sleeping with a 13-14-year-old (which is what the situation here is, not the nicer version you made up in your head). She’s trash. Stop excusing her actions. The nuanced position you think you're taking here is "male sexual predators often face no consequences, so a part of me wishes this female sexual predator wouldn't face any consequences either."
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I'm an atheist, but I appreciate the light sprinkle of Islamophobia in your insults. Really goes well with the desperate pedo apologia. Two adult women called a 15-year-old boy over to their room multiple times, gave him alcohol, and sent him explicit photos. One of them made unwanted sexual advances toward him, after having been in a "relationship" with him when he was as young as 13-14. After she got punished, she released a public statement claiming everything she's ever done with this boy was perfectly consensual and this is all one big misunderstanding, in the process drawing negative attention to him and implying he's a faithless crybaby for betraying their love. Now dangerous morons like you are ignoring the whole sexual harassment charge, the part where she violated the privacy of someone she claims to care about, etc. like none of it ever happened and saying dating across a 4-year age gap in your teens is "normal" and happens in every high school. No, it doesn't. When I was 17, 13-year-olds weren't even real people to me and my peers, let alone objects of sexual attraction. Stop lying and stop abusing the word "normal."
Thank you! I feel like crying because the comments are making me so frustrated. People are legitimately saying since they were ina relationship, it’s okay. Legally, if he was underage , he cannot consent whether they were in a relationship or otherwise. Thats a fact. And 13 yos! Jesus Christ. They are children. Point blank. Imagine myself at 13 and at 16/17/18. No fucking way that’s okay.
Your submission has been removed for violating Rule 4. >4. Be civil in discussing skating figures. > Blunt criticism of skaters, officials, and other skating figures is welcome, but please remember to be civil even when being critical. Excessive hostility, body shaming/eating disorder speculation, degrading commentary, name calling, and ill-wishing are not. "I don't think XYZ deserved that score and ABC should have won over them?" Fine. "XYZ is trash garbage and I hope they fall four times?" Not fine. We will hand out 3 day suspensions for the first and second offenses under this rule, with a permanent ban on the third offense.
I heard the age of consent is lower in Korea
So we're now excusing sexual abuse in a relationship? And using the "misogyny" excuse? I can't believe this. Women always get away with everything, always the victim, right? Gross
Korea is a deeply misogynistic country. They will give a women more jail time for a “false accusation” of rape (determined because the cctv showed she wasn’t crying when she left) than men who admitted to multiple rapes, even gang rapes.
Does any native Korean speaker have a better English translation? I don’t really trust instagram’s translation
Translation: Hello. This is Lee Hae-in. I am truly sorry. I don't have words to say to the many fans who are disappointed in me. As a national athlete, I should have presented a better self to younger athletes, and I should have focused diligently and solely on training on behalf of those other athlethes who weren't even able to go to the training camp, but in my short sightedness I have made a huge mistake. Drinking alcohol is something I should have never done, and I am continually deeply reflecting on my mistake now. Afterward, I have been wondering why I made such a mistake and regretting it every day. However, the news has reported that I sexually assaulted and sexually victimized a minor, and that is not true. He is a boyfriend I dated last year when I was a high schooler, and because of parents' opposition we broke up, and then met again at this training camp. Perhaps it's because we still had feelings for each other, but we started dating again while we were there, and because we didn't want to tell our parents we decided to keep it a secret. At the time of the ice skating federation's investigation I couldn't say we were dating, but to hear that this has become talk of me sexually assaulting a minor, it's like my world has come crashing down. I thought it was playful or affectionate behavior that could take place between a couple, and even though we couldn't reveal that we were dating, I could never have imagined being on the receiving end of this kind of misunderstanding. Since I was young I have received an exceeding amount of expectations and love, and I am truly sorry to show myself so lacking. I will deeply reflect no matter what punishment the Korea Sports Council delivers, and will work hard to never make this kind of mistake again. Lee Hae-in
Oof, this is so messy. I need more information before I figure out how I feel.
I guess I'll wait for definitive news
I don't know the age gap is not that big but when you are that young 3 years can be a lot, it's not like you are 20 and your partner is 23. I still find it weird.
same I’m 16 and i cant imagine dating a 19 yo tbh sounds weird
It happens in some particular circumstances. When I was 17, the age in my class ranged from 15 to 19. One of my friends who was 16 dated the 19 yo. The thing is that even if they were almost 3 years apart (2,5 more closely), they basically were at the same point in their life journey and had the same status. Frankly, because we were all classmates, we forgot about the age difference. And honestly none of the teachers or the parents had issues with that. This doesn't mean abuse, taking advantage doesn't exist but there are circumstances where having a relationship (platonic or romantic) does happen more naturally. When I was a teenager, I spent hours and hours in my music school. I knew better my music peers than people from school. Their age? 25 to 35 yo. They all treated me well and I look back at them fondly. I was bullied at school so adults were the 'safe ones' contrarily to teenagers 'to avoid'. Figure skating is a bit of the same thing as my 2 other examples. The pool of athletes is not that big so in training, competitions, you will have to interact with people who are younger or older than you. The limited hours in school will have an impact in the relationship with the classmates and they will have probably a closer relationship with their rinkmates. And interacting with someone every day, people will forget about the age difference. Is it a good thing? I would be a hypocrite casting definite judgement. But I also understand how a 16 and a 19 yo in those circumstances end up dating.
yeah i get your point but tbh they both have lives outside of figure skating and wouldnt it be more reasonable to date someone closer to their age range?
That's a hard question and one we can't answer. Sure, it would be more reasonable to date someone closer to their age but we don't know how much of a life they really have outside of FS (no, we can't base that on IG) or if they have many rinkmates are close to their age. Personally, because my music peers were 10 years older than me and I was alienated from my schoolmates (partially due to my music), I never could date anyone in my high school years. There was just no one in my dating options.
yeah true, since considering most figure skaters in school (at least in korea) they do half days most of the times i think so yeah most likely that most people they know are fellow skaters, however i still think theyd have some peers in class as well as other skaters who are within similar age range
Yeah but an 18 and 16 doesn’t sound quite as weird and she just turned 19? Like yeah I think it’s not a good age gap but also think it may fall within a gray zone. Especially since 19 is age of majority, this is equivalent to someone just turning 18 (reaching legal adulthood). 19 and 16 is equivalent to our 18 and 15 in some ways. Like a 17 year old senior and a 15 year old freshman start dating in high school, does the senior have to break up with the person when they turn 18?
18 and 16 is def more acceptable but they have a three year gap between them in korean age so its more like 19 and 16 than 18 and 16 in this situation imo and also korean school system is different as well, they have 3 years of high school and they follow the korean age system so they wouldve never been to high school at the same time
I guess I don’t know the exact dates but 19 and 16 year old wouldn’t overlap in high school? We have a 4 year system and 14-18 can overlap
Korea has the three year system and its usually 17-19 (in korean age) so yeah C and Haein wouldve never gone to high school together i mean unless there are people who repeat a year (i know a girl who’s doing this) or people who are skipping grades its usually around 17~19
So they have to turn these ages. If they start at 17-18 first year, then 18-19 second year? Wouldn’t it only be two years?
17 first year 18 second year 19 third year! we run by the korean age so everyone ages at the same time lol
Ahhh, I see. When does the age change? So could someone be born 2 days a part and they are considered a whole year older?
yup one of my friends parents decided to delay registering my friends birth bc of that reason
Same it's very hard to imagine a college freshman dating a grade 10...
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Okay, even accepting that I’m viewing it through a western lens that does not take away from the inherent creepiness. It still exists. Not everything that’s culturally acceptable in certain places should be accepted by outsiders. Think about how acceptable it is that women are not supposed to touch certain things or do certain acts when on their period in certain cultures, that’s wrong. Simple.
Just another reminder that we don't know Haein or any of the skaters we see on TV. We may enjoy their skating but their talent isn't indicative of what they're like as a person.
Our stance on all this shouldn’t really change just because the person accused of sexual harassment/assault of a minor says that it was consensual. Also sexual harassment & assault can still happen within relationships and marriages. And focusing on their relationship status when discussing consent is extra gross to begin with because again, the victim is a minor. Let’s just sit tight and wait for more updates & information without writing posts defending the assumed age difference in their relationship and saying that it’s “not that bad” ??
Totally fair that we can’t judge without knowing context. But I do think some of our laws aren’t really appropriate for consensual teen relationships. Like I’m a therapist and I used to work in a state that required me to report ANY sexual contact of some one under 16. So like I would have been legally required to report a 16 year old girl who is having sex with their 15 year old boyfriend to the dcfs and the police. This state has an “underage sexual activity” statute that prohibits having sexual contact or sexual intercourse with a 15-year-old if the defendant is under the age of 19. Underage sexual activity constitutes a Class A misdemeanor. So this 16 year old girl would be charged with a misdemeanor for having consensual sex with her boyfriend who could be only a few days younger than her but not yet 16.
Sure they’re murky but also we aren’t talking about kids born two days apart.
I get that but an 18 and a 15 year old isn’t completely atypical in my experience working with teens.
For real! 12 yos who have been raped by adults can and have said the same thing, how they are in love etc. that has never ever made it okay. It is is the adult who is in the wrong.
Fully support her in fighting for her rights to a clear transparent investigation procedure and justice. The minor can also fight for his rights if there is any sexual contact of any sort. Wish to hear from the parties involved and not from a third party.
all this talking about love and relationship w/a child is super weird. it doesn't make it better, that's for sure. that it was going on last year as well when he was even younger is also not good. this is really terrible.
Last year at their ages they could have been in an American high school together and were not or at least we shouldn’t be telling high schoolers that they can’t date outside their grade level. This is messy and there should be some consequences but treating this exactly the same as a 36 year old dating 16 year old is nonsensical.
Even at that, my friend was young for our grade and dated someone old for our grade. There were 3 years in age difference. He graduated at 19, her at 16.
idk pro-age-gap math always plays these games. no one is saying it's the same as a 20yr age gap, and i personally am not accusing her of sexual assault or anything at all. but to say no we were lovers last year when he was even younger doesn't make it sound better to me, it sounds worse.
in korea i’m pretty sure their relationship, at any stage, was protected by law in terms of their ages. 14-18 year-olds are allowed to date and then the age of consent is 16.
yeah, i guess this is probably why she is making a big point about last year, to put it in the safe zone? idk, i honestly do hope everything is sorted out and dealt with fairly for everyone's sake.
I don’t know maybe I have a skewed perspective from having been groomed into a relationship with someone over 10 years older than me when I was a teenager but I don’t think saying a 3 year age gap between teenagers is gross is the right way to go about things
yes, you know this is a fair point. i didn't use the word gross but "weird" and "terrible" aren't much better. i think you all have made me much more open minded to her side in this. and i think probably is just b/c the younger person is so young. but i'm thinking as an adult and these are teenagers. very fair points you've made.
Well obviously they were *both* younger last year. That’s how time works.
No you’re right and the downvotes are saying a lot. 18 and 14/15 is wrong. Why do people keep saying relationships between teenagers as if a) there can’t be consent issues b) ignoring how different a 13 and an 18 yo are! Or a 14/15 yo to 18/19 yo.
If it was something serious, she would have been arrested by now. The situation is clearly not worth the disqualification, which is equivalent to the end of a career.
No. That’s not how it works. If the victim does not want to press charges, they cannot go forward with it that does not mean a wrong was not committed, So many people have never gone to jail and have absolutely raped/assaulted people.
Battered women would be happy to see this comment section. I'm sure if it was the other way around,you all would also defend the man saying it's ok to sexual abuse his girlfriend/wife just because they are in a relationship. lol
I completely agree
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This.