This. I told a good friend I had plans to FIRE. Made the mistake of telling them when. If things go right, it's just a few years away.
Ruined the relationship. I respect him a good deal, but I think he always thought of me as not doing well financially. Most likely because how I dress, size of home, etc. We both know his income is higher, but it occurred to him that I most likely had higher assets. That changed the dynamic and cost the relationship.
We met at work, then became friends. Our inte
ractions had a work basis / beginning. After meeting we would hang out outside of work, mostly sports related recreational stuff. It just got weird after he realized we'll only be coworkers for a couple more years. Moral of my story,..... it just doesn't pay to share your FIRE story unless you have have similar aspirations.
When I was hitting the early milestones ($10k, $50k, $100k) I was excited and pretty open with it, telling family members and such, but I could tell they didn't seem to really care and I could see how it would cause problems, so I have kept it closer to the vest as the number got bigger.
I do share with my younger brother because he has the same mindset and is heading for FI and has a good job as well, so it is nice to have someone to talk to about it. It doesn't feel like a competition with him, just keeping each other motivated.
Yeah I feel pretty lucky. When I first learned about FIRE and was in the stage of consuming every available piece of media about it, I went to my brother to tell him everything I learned and it took all of 15 minutes for him to be like, "that's awesome, I'm doing that too." Haha we should both be solidly FI by late 30s, early 40s.
So proud of you both. I know I could've take something like this to my brother. He's gotta have the latest car with the latest phone on a $15/hr hourly wage.
Needless to say we do not keep in touch. I lead my life very differently, more like you and your brother.
Proud of you both. I'm 39 now. I wish you both FI before you're my age.
I tried telling my brother about fire.
A few years later I asked if he thought I should retire in a couple of years or buy a Porsche.
He quickly answered the car.
On my 3rd date with my BF, he mentioned how he didn't want to live to work his whole life. I asked if he knew about FIRE. He didn't, but once I explained what it was and how achievable is it he was all on board. Now I have a FIRE-buddy. My sister is still figuring out what she wants to do with her life so I've only shared a very small amount about what FIRE is with her.
You're lucky. I would talk to my brother about it at a high level (even got him to put 10k into nvda in 2019) and he complained to our mom last year. I wish I had anyone to talk to about things.
I honestly don't know how much he is up on it at this point. He complained that I made him feel bad (You would think I'm a regular person if we met and I never even told him specifics or bragged about anything). I celebrate the good things in his life but I learned not to expect that from him. He's 5 years older than me, married with children, a great job, house worth 800k-1 mil (half mortgaged of course but at a stupid 3% interest rate). Theres no reason for him to feel insecure but he is.
I'm just glad that he was investing it for my nieces. I had him do 10k nvda, 10k aapl and 10k VTI from a 30k inheritance they got from his wife's grandma's passing.
This is hilarious because I told my dad to invest $10k in nvidia around the same time maybe even a year sooner. My brother gave me shit saying I shouldn’t be telling our dad what to do with his money. He was right at the time, now he’s wrong lmao.
This is it, I’ve recently gained a large amount of wealth and found that you really can’t discuss wealth with people who don’t have it. It’s just rarely ever appropriate.
I’m not really motivated to do FIRE or anything similar personally, but when my friends and I were first getting established in our careers we would openly talk about our promotions and salary bumps, and we’d all congratulate each other. One particular friend and I work in the same industry and when we’d switch jobs and get a bump, we’d try to bring the other one in to get the same or more. It was a good dynamic to have. We were all motivating and congratulating each other.
I wish I had more people around me with that type of mindset. But I feel kinda lost when it comes to talking about fire with anyone around me. We don't share the same vision and those who share my vision often don't talk about it.
I wouldn't throw a party unless everyone else has more than you and they're genuinely happy for you. It could be taken as a slap in the face to anyone making less. I just wouldn't risk it.
Edit: I was assuming it would be known the party is celebrating the NW. Yes of course you can throw a party for no reason. Everyone can stop saying the same thing.
Ouff. I get vibes like that from my parents. I think they would rather I depend on them financially like my siblings - easier to control. My family keeps wanting me to give them money, and my mom keeps asking how much I make while telling me she needs to give more money to my siblings because they need it more than I do. But they for many years refuse to be financially responsible. Fire is my way of being intentional with my money.
I gave my mom 30K to pay off her Credit Card Debt, then "loaned" her another 30K to pay off her car because she couldn't afford the payments. She then complained to her friends cause we didn't have a "special" party for her 65 birthday. Family can be predatory and and a real drag.
Yeah I really only thought of it because I would be so proud of myself and want to celebrate, not to throw it in others faces but I def see what you mean
Just throw a party. Call it a cookout or do it for the next friends bday or your dogs bday or any dumb thing. Just say you wanted to throw a party for no reason at all. It's a good way of sharing your wealth with your friends without letting them know how much you have
unless you're gonna share the wealth---meaning literally give everyone a big ol' check if they attend, that's probably not a celebration many would appreciate if they aren't equally as fortunate.
Celebrate by stealth buying yourself something nice. Or by any little commemoration. I got a smallish custom 24k gold coin that said 1M. Wasn’t too expensive. Just do something meaningful for you
Or you know...throw the exact same party, just don't tell anyone.
Does no one have friends over for food just for the hell of it? You don't have to have a reason(don't tell anyone your real reason)
Yes, limit who you tell. In fact, other than my wife, I don’t think I have ever told anyone about my net worth. It will only lead to resentment, jealousy, or people thinking you are boasting.
Loose lips sink ships!
Everyone that cares about you wants to see you do well, but not everyone that cares about you wants you to do *better* than them. I’d think carefully about who to disclose that to, though camaraderie with others on the path could be nice.
What’s the reward to sharing net worth with anyone other than spouse or advisors?
Personally, all my family knows is I’m ‘fine’, they don’t need to worry about me. I’ve never asked them for financial support, but I’ve also never intentionally broadcasted any FIRE lifestyle and current progress to them.
Also, the people that like you for you, don't care about your money. Telling them isn't going to make your friendship better, but may make it worse.
The people that like you for your money, should not be told about your money.
Shared mine with my spouse after we got engaged. Got married. She then wanted to spend everything on everything. When she didn't know and we were both frugal it was great. We are now divorced!
That’s good you told her when you did. She would’ve found out eventually, and the earlier you found out her huge flaw, the better. Hopefully you got out before any kids were in the mix.
So did you get cleaned out in the divorce, or was it recognized as pre-marital assets?
The fact that you won full custody makes me think there's a chance you managed to retain your savings.
You won’t tell your spouse about an inheritance? Don’t get me wrong I’m 26 and have never even been in a committed relationship before, so I’m in no place to critique you on your relationship decision making, but that seems like a pretty big thing to leave out with the one you love most in the world.
I recently inherited a few million and obviously it’s not something I’ll ever talk about with anyone out of my sister and step mother, who are in the same position as I am. But that’s until I find a wife. I can’t imagine not telling her. She should absolutely know that no matter what happens I will be able to provide for us and our family. Idk though maybe I’ll change my mind on that as I get older.
I'm in a 20 year long relationship and I've told my partner about every inheritance I've received. I can't even fathom being in a relationship where you would hide something like that.
That's weird to me. I was an only child of pretty well off parents, an only grandchild *and* an only niece so I've inherited a LOT over the years. My partner always knew about it, I never hid it from him. We've been smart with the money and used it to build a real estate company together.
This is one of those things where people with healthy relationships with their parents and people without can't understand each other at all. My parents are totally secure and will never need or ask anything from me, and I trust them totally. But a lot of people don't have that.
My parents don’t need my money by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t share specifics about my income and savings with them. My dad gets weird about money, and I feel like our relationship would change if my parents thought I was extremely well off.
Addiction problems really mess people up, almost always to the point of no ruin. It's often not even the drugs, but more how they ruin all their relationships with their bad decisions that are a side effect of the drugs
Same - My parents are both retired teachers, so they're looking at fully funded state pensions, plus their own IRA/403b savings. They're absolutely set. Of all my siblings, I'm definitely the one most likely to reach early retirement (or even retirement at all tbh) and I think it's reassuring to my dad to hear that at least one of us is on track.
Best advice I’ve ever had was to keep it to yourself. Let others think you’re poor. I grew up poor(ish) so when I got some money I did some stuff I’d always wanted to do- travel, fly first class, get a newer truck, I suppose some of that was motivated by wanting others to know I wasn’t poor anymore, and then once I got enough confidence to not give a fuck what others think about me life got way way way more enjoyable.
We have some friends who kill themselves to keep up with the jones’ and the husband almost had to file business bankruptcy a couple months ago. Yet he drives a brand new $100k truck and his wife a $100k Escalade. Just bought a brand new house over $1M. People who don’t know the background think they’re rich but in reality they are scrambling to keep up.
I could quit working tomorrow and be fine, I drive a 10 year old truck, buy my clothes at Costco and just straight don’t give a fuck anymore.
>buy my clothes at Costco
Guess we aren't going to be able to hang out cause we might show up with the exact same clothes on.
When you mentioned your friends, I remember those days of being able to barely keep up. Not because of trying to keep up with the Jones', but just from having kids young and simply not making much money. I'll never forget the constant stress in just getting by.
Now, I don't buy much, not because I can't, but because I choose not to. It is a much more peaceful existence.
I get that on occasion. My Dad will ask, "Is Mrs. SBNShovelSlayer still driving that same honda?"
Yep
It's a 2011 Honda CRV w/70,000 miles on it. Haven't had a car payment in over 10 years.
Love it. I didn't really tell anyone about hitting $250K because it was mostly due to home equity.
I might hit $500K next year but I'll probably only mention it here. Like others have said, stealth wealth is the way to go to keep a target off of your back. And maybe my spouse. He doesn't really care about Fire Club.
I had a friend ask me why I live like I am about to be homeless - it is just me so if something happens I have no fallback income. It really makes you want to live well within your means.
It is the greatest feeling when you live below your means.
No pressure at all, and you know you are happy and have a financial safety net to deal with anything.
lol, same. My wife still drives a 6 yr old car. We’re currently saving up to buy her something nicer with cash. Her family thinks I’m a cheapskate or something because we haven’t gotten her something new. They all get new cars every year and probably have crazy car payments.
Yes. The number of people I tell is limited to zero. Zilch. No one.
They are going to wonder how the F I retired when I do so in a couple of years. But I don't really care. It's Noah's business but my own.
Yes, and you see, when he tells one giraffe, they’ll tell their mate, who is terrible at keeping secrets. So suddenly all of the animals know. So really, just don’t tell Noah!
Nobody needs to know anything, period.
My wife has divulged more to her brother than I’m comfortable with (more-so about her finances in particular, not mine as we keep separate accounts mostly). There is simply nothing to gain from letting random people have that sort of info.
I know it’s a gross generalization, but people with money tend to be stealthy about it. It’s the folks that are pretending they have more than they really do that like to drop hints about their “wealth” or live a flashy lifestyle. Again, there are definitely exceptions to this.
Edit: absolutely without a doubt DO NOT have a “I’m a millionaire party”. Bad form. I have, however, considered throwing a party to celebrate my mortgage pay-off!
I used to think that everyone was generally trying to work and plan to be successful with their lives. I would share successes when I was younger.
Only about 11% of Americans are millionaires. So you’re going to be more successful than about 9 out of 10 people.
Those 9 can be friends and almost certainly your family. It will not go over well as time goes by.
Fewer than 3% of people actually FIRE which usually means having a net worth =+2 million before age 62. That’s only 1 in 33 people. It’s pretty rare.
Good job. You’ll be one of those people.
Um, yeah, throwing a party with friends and family is a bad idea. Maybe 1 person out of 20 would actually be happy for you. The rest would be butt hurt that you’re killing it financially. Unfortunately, you need to act poor!
Next week my wife and I will hit 1.7 million net worth. We talk about financials as far as ideas and strategies with people but we don’t talk about our personal finances. The only people that know are my parents, our accountant, and now you fine people.
I stopped telling people about my financial situation when I got out of debt. People get really judgemental and jealous when you're doing better than they are financially. The same is true when it comes to health or any other personal milestones.
I’ve found myself wearing less and less nice clothes the more I had. I know the excitement and the need you feel to spread your joy, but I don’t believe anything good would come of it.
If anything it could make relationships harder.
Same here. I still dress well but just use a simple t-shirt and pair of pants or shorts.
Also whenever money comes up in a conversation I always take a middle-ground approach when I comment so nobody thinks I'm doing particularly well. Especially when my car is the oldest in the parking lot and I bring my lunch to work every day.
Lastly, my wife and parents know my finances but they're all cool with it. My boss knows some of it since he can see my 401k and HSA are loaded but he actively encourages me to keep maxing everything and personally tells me about changes to make sure I'm aware since I'm one of the few in my company that cares this much. Definitely a better boss than most.
Crossed into 7-figure net worth right before covid. Told my wife because we make big financial decisions together. Told my mom because she’s been saving money all of her life and wanted me to do the same. I take pleasure in saving and watching it grow as well and it made her happy. Told my older brother who said to me I was a “loser” and I need to leave my career behind and move closer to him so he can “hook me up” with something to do instead of that “stupid thing” I’m doing now. He doesn’t have anything for me that pays even half of what I’m making now. Everyone else, if it ever comes up I either say nothing or just a generic “we’re doing ok”. Sometimes, I join in and play along in the “I’m poor and everything is so expensive” conversations at work and parties. They feel fun and not too far from the truth if I compare my wealth to any well known rich person.
A couple of things about our kids. They are both teenagers. The older one got some kind of fascination with cash. Took her to the bank, withdrew $10k in $100 bills and gave it to her to play with it for a week. Told her this cash never leaves her room, she isn’t taking it to school or showing it to her friends. No one can know about it as it’s enough money for some people to try and do some really bad things to us. She could play with it at home as much as she wants. Two days later she was done and we took it back to the bank. The message was that there’s nothing special or magical about cash money. It’s just a tool like most things around us are.
Second kid was very impressed with someone at his school getting dropped off in a Ferrari. We googled it together and found a similar one for sale. I opened up and showed him one of the accounts that had enough in it to buy at least two of them. Then we went over how much it costs in maintenance and insurance. And that for our lifestyle, it’s just an expensive toy. I’d rather have that money invested to generate more money over time. And if we really want that experience, then we’ll find a way to rent one for a day or two.
The weird thing is that I kind of enjoy realizing I can afford to buy some expensive things outright at any moment if I wanted to. That thought alone is giving me enough comfort and satisfaction to actually not want things nearly as much as I used to when all I had was $2,000 to my name. Plus, I really really want to not to have to work one day, hopefully, while I’m still somewhat young and agile enough to enjoy my retirement.
That’s exactly how I feel! I actually showed my daughter my account to prove to her that someone can have enough money for something and it doesn’t mean we need to show it to others and/or buy things just because we have the money
People are weird about money. We just crossed 300k at 31 and 28 YO combined. (We are married and she is a SAHM that blogs). Much of that is tied up in RE property.
I tell my family when they ask. I tell my friends when they ask.
I don't want others to compare themselves to me. I only compare our situation to average earners that are also tracking their NWs, because the ultra wealthy and anomalies are near impossible to compare to. The poor and poverty are so confused, uneducated and lost with it, so no help here either.
So I continue to compare our situation with others around us that earn similarly or build wealth the same type of way.
Talk to your kids at the dinner table about finance. It will remove the stupid elephant in the room that everyone seems to have as an adult because they are ignorant to the fact.
Happy investing!
I do this with our kids. I also teach my kids how to limit their spending to only the things they place the most value in. For example when they were little sometimes I’d say yes to them having a treat. Then if they find something else they wanted I’d say “sure but you can only have one so which one do you want the most?” It was agony for them at first. Slowly you expand that mindset into all sorts of different situations and eventually they start to get the hang of denying themselves things they don’t really want. My youngest is great with it now and is wonderful with budgeting but my oldest is really struggling with the whole delayed gratification thing.
First savings, then investing. Money management and tracking. Debt management. All of these things will help set your children up for success.
Good on you to start earlier than later!
My wife and I had my Fire mentor and his wife over for dinner and toasted a financial goal. It was very delightful to have someone we could share it with, since we follow the first, and second, rule of Fire club. My parents, and our kids, would be totally weird if they knew what we'd put together, especially since they don't understand how much it takes to create a residual income.
Don't tell anyone except the fire subreddit. No one understands the fire except those on fire mentality.
I tried explaining to those my friend and coworker, yet they're stuck in their own bad spending habits and way of thinking
I don't talk about my finances with many people. A few people close to me know some details, but I don't think anyone knows my net worth. I don't know how much the people around me have either.
Regarding your boyfriend and letting him know what your finances look like - I think that when people start getting serious, like building a life together serious, then it's time to talk about money details. There is a lot you can do before you get to that point to determine if you are on the same page financially, which is important for assessing compatibility. But once you are really considering building a life together, then it's time to talk financial details.
I don't tell them anything. I made that mistake once when I hit like $50K when I was 23, and then my cousin hit me up to invest in his failing restaurant and another cousin wanted to borrow money for a down payment on their house. I didn't at the time, but I did eventually loan an uncle \~$100K. Nowadays, they know I'm comfortable, but not exact numbers. They did figure out we're millionaires when we bought a house in a VHCOL area, but they have no idea how much liquid we have. The only people who know are my in-laws, and only because my MIL manages our brokerage accounts, and my FIL does our taxes. But they're also very well-off and never ask for money.
Definitely. I’ve mentioned it on Reddit, but not IRL.
I especially don’t mention my future NW projections. I hit $1M early this year. If I project 5 or 10 years into the future, things get wild.
Most of the people I worked with didn't understand saving at all. I worked in the public sector and almost all of them think their pension will be enough. It's generous but it's like 50-60% of what you made. I didn't want to live with less in retirement so every raise went into the 457 plan and eliminating debt. It's a foreign concept to most outside of our club here.
Nobody cares or wants you to announce how much money or “net worth” you have.
Also as long as it is in the market and you are not diving into it like scrooge mcduck, you don’t really “have it”.
I've told my wife, my mother, my lawyer, and a few former coworkers. People that were worried that I would wind up homeless with my life choices. Explaining that I have 700k liquid and 400k in equity seemed to get them to relax. It also got them to stop buying me stuff I didn't need because they thought I needed it and couldn't afford it.
I've never told anyone about any monetary "milestones". My close family/friends know I plan to FIRE, but we don't discuss the specifics of it monetarily. Not because I wouldn't if they asked, but because it really doesn't matter to anyone but me, since it's based on my particular situation, plans, etc. and wouldn't be applicable to them with very different circumstances etc.
The only celebration I plan to have is to FIRE and maybe throw a retirement party before sailing off into the sunset.
My husband and I have been building our wealth together and have been very open about all of the lifestyle changes and steps we are taking. We will be having a party at some of our milestones when we hit them. We had one of our friends reach 1 million net worth and he casually announced it at our weekly get together, but there were cheers and congrats all around. Our friend group is full of people trying to do better for themselves and there are 3 couples pursuing FIRE in different ways. My husband and I are the most open about it, but people don’t get weird about it anymore.
When we first opened up about our goals we had a lot of skepticism. We aren’t very far, but we’ve now traveled a lot more than most and made some big moves that had made people realize we really are doing it. Most of our family has nothing but good things to say now.
At 27, just today, I checked my NW and I've hit $250k (253k, to be more exact). Haven't told a single soul. I truly haven't been paying much attention to it, myself. Last big milestone was 100k, which carried more personal weight, as it seemed really difficult to accomplish. Just automate as much as you can, so you can't spend it. Probably will go to a nice restaurant this weekend.
Don’t even share with your bf imo… if you get engaged or commit somehow reveal then. Can get weird and you don’t want to be questioning his motives 24/7
Same with family. I wouldn’t tell a soul. My family unfortunately found out and made all sorts of jealous remarks. Simply because they chose to live a certain lifestyle (partying) and I didn’t and saved.
I told a couple of friends that I paid off my mortgage and their reactions were a bit quietly wierd. Enough make me realize you keep this stuff to yourself.
I did tell my mother because I felt she deserved to know / would be proud of me, as they taught me to be frugal and smart with my money. But even that was a bit 'hey it took us way longer to get there than you' type vibes.
I don’t tell people who don’t need to know, which is really only limited to my girlfriend, but I will also discuss my finances in some detail with peers who ask.
My social circle has kind of naturally evolved towards people with similar circumstances as me, so it isn’t really as taboo to talk about. But I wouldn’t really say I go into specifics.
I’m a little loose about my financial picture, but not the whole RE element of it, with some higher ups at work because I’ve found that it affords me some leverage honestly.
I have a trusted circle of friends who I regularly give financial updates too. It’s been a great boost. I am planning to tell my partner soon too the specifics of my finances before we wed. Outside of that, not a soul knows. They don’t need to. I don’t present as wealthy and it’s not anyone’s business.
My dad has a decent feel for where I'm at but doesn't know the exact figure. I think he's proud of me. He did FIRE and has been retired half of my life.
I think a decent chunk of my family knows I'm doing pretty well but they probably underestimate it.
I'm not telling my mother or step father since they rely on me for handouts.
My aunts and uncles have a sense that I'm doing pretty well for myself.
My ex knew where I was in 2022 (we both had similarish networths but this is when VOO was at a low of 340ish instead of 480ish) but my networth went up about 50% since then between a great stock market year and saving a bunch. My ex could probably guess that I added about 2 years worth of income and that the S&P went pop
A good friend has a feel for where I'm at. She's likely in a similarish position in terms of net worth but I don't know the exact amount that she'd got.
I have coworkers that know I never "cashed out" any of the stock that I've gotten and pretty much saved like crazy but they don't know here I'm at exactly.
One person knows my actual NW and it’s my best friend who is also super in to saving and investing. We’ve both been very successful so I know he won’t be jealous. Nobody else knows. Not even family. If they ask, I say I’m poor.
Still early on but will begin hitting big milestones soon. Passed 100K recently and should see 250k in the next 4-5 years. Only people I plan on telling are my parents and a very close friend who’s in the same industry and on the same path.
No one other then my spouse and my brother who vastly out earns me. And only because he's who we would entrust with our 2 kids if we both die. We told him because we made a will and wanted his consent in that case... it's been a few years though and I don't update him or anything.
I recently managed to pay off all of my debts and I told my therapist and that’s it. So, I’m an advocate for keeping it to yourself or sharing with someone who is professional obligated to keep it confidential.
If you find like minded people that enjoy talking about investments and wealth then MAYBE tell them. We all know the grind, dedication and consistency it takes for building wealth and we just want to celebrate. I get it !!!
>and then started thinking about how dumb that would be lol
You are right, that would be extremely dumb. Money is a pretty sensitive topic. Those who are doing better than you may wonder why you're flaunting, and those who are doing worse than you may wonder if you're rubbing it in their face.
>I debated telling him my net worth.
I would only share these kind of details with someone who I envision building a life with and with someone who I already know shares similar financial values as me.
FIRE or not, it’s probably best not to share your financial status with friends or family (besides your spouse). There’s just not really any reason to. If one of my friends invited me to a “I saved up $1M” party, I think that’d be weird. Like, cool, but also why should I really care. I’m happy to see my friends do well, but attaching the specific dollar amount just makes it feel braggy. You can throw a retirement party whenever you retire, but celebrating saving X amount of dollars is just odd.
My parents know, because my parents are cool about it and into personal finance as a hobby as well. But friends know nothing more than "I am working towards being FI" at best.
Prepare to have all your friendships and relationships ruined by people asking for loans, wondering why you don’t pay for everything, expecting lavish gifts, jealousy and fake warmth.
Only one who knows is wife (she just goes "thats nice"), dad (he has more than enough and multiples of me), brother (sort of, but no real details). No one else cares and they are all doing pretty well so....we all just keep it mostly to our selves.
Don’t tell anyone. But if you do, lie.
If you want to celebrate, just celebrate by throwing a party, mini vacay, or dinner. Go solo. Or Invite whoever. Your bf, your family, and/or maybe some friends. Just tell them it’s for “a promotion at work” or “work anniversary”. You can even say “I finally have enough savings for a down payment on a house!” (And whether you buy the house or not, they don’t need to know.) They don’t need to know the whole truth.
I tell my wife when we pass a new milestone, and that’s it. I’ve never told any other person anything about how much money we have, ever. I’ll tell my two kids one day when they’re a lot older. That’s the full circle of people I ever plan to tell how much money I’m worth. If I were in your position, I would tell no one.
This is a good statement. I think while you shouldn't throw a party for dollar sign milestones, you should prob do a small get together with friends or family for accomplishments. Like a "debt free!" Or a "we are retired now" small invite thing.
Keep it a celebration but also keep it super generalized and ambiguous.
Only my absolute best friend and wife know we have over 2m. I tell absolutely no one because they don’t need to know and I am not out to impress anyone. Lots of friends and family know I have my house and new vehicles paid off, but they don’t know our NW because we live a very low key lifestyle.
Never share networth with family and friends. Innate quality of people who have less than you, is to feel jealous, if they say they are happy, they are lying.
Sometimes telling wife is also a mistake, I feel, because thought towards careful spending gets relaxed, but it is natural.
> For a quick sec I thought about having a party with close friends/family once I reach 1m and then started thinking about how dumb that would be lol
Had me in the first half, I was about to call you a massive idiot haha.
I tell people I trust very much and I know they would not be jealous of my success. I have told my fiance who is also a high earner (she’s a doctor), my parents and brother. However I never told anyone else I’m a millionaire my friends or other relatives.
I told my parents, my in-laws, and my spouse.
My father tried using it against me to get me to "help my brother since you are doing so well".
My in-laws ignore my advice.
My mother says good job like I'm 12 and just got another A.
My spouse spends a bit more some times and others freaks that "is not enough to survive!".
Reddit is great for sharing and getting it out without bad consequences (just don't dox yourself).
I guess it’s just my generation but no single person in my life knows exactly how much I have. People are curious as to how I’m retired so young (57) but most are too polite to ask. It changes the dynamic in friendships. I don’t pretend to not have money but if you just met me you wouldn’t know that I do. It’s just really no one’s business.
I’ve never told anyone at any milestone. My parents saved and saved and are in a very good position in retirement and would only be happy for us and not jealous or weird about it and I haven’t even told them.
Yeah as I’ve been on this journey, I’ve noticed that seemingly it’s acceptable to show off a house or car or vacation but for some reason unacceptable to show off net worth. Can’t say I agree with it but that’s the way things are
40s here - i tell some friends in similar economic situations that we’re in good shape for retirement. Hopefully to get them to focus on saving so I have some friends that can retire early with us and travel/adventure/whatever.
1.3M in 401/IRA; 20% of that is Roth. Contributing about 50k more each year to retirement with the matches.
First rule of FIRE club is you do not talk about FIRE club
Stealth wealth is the way to play it.
This^ You want to be rich and **un-famous**, not rich and famous, as Naval Ravikant said.
He’s famous & rich
Some learn the hard way
This. I told a good friend I had plans to FIRE. Made the mistake of telling them when. If things go right, it's just a few years away. Ruined the relationship. I respect him a good deal, but I think he always thought of me as not doing well financially. Most likely because how I dress, size of home, etc. We both know his income is higher, but it occurred to him that I most likely had higher assets. That changed the dynamic and cost the relationship.
Not gonna lie.. your friend sounds like a loser.
Some friends are there because they feel better about themselves and may have regarded him as a loser.
Your friend is insecure
Sounds about right. My brother liked my ex when he wasn't because my ex made him look better. Like bro, saying that makes you look even more terrible.
I mean, I agree nothing much good can come from blabbing (let alone bragging), but why was your relationship defined by money?
We met at work, then became friends. Our inte ractions had a work basis / beginning. After meeting we would hang out outside of work, mostly sports related recreational stuff. It just got weird after he realized we'll only be coworkers for a couple more years. Moral of my story,..... it just doesn't pay to share your FIRE story unless you have have similar aspirations.
What you earn is irrelevant. What you save and invest in is what matters. He just got slapped in this face there.
Second rule of FIRE club is you do not talk about FIRE club.
Third rule of fire club is going back to second or first rule. 😁😁
The fourth rule is……actually no one knows because of the third rule.
The fifth rule is... If you're on fire. Stop. Drop and roll. Life saving rule I tell you.
I thought it was if someone yells stop, goes limp, or taps out, the FIRE is over?
No, that's what the safe word is for.
When I was hitting the early milestones ($10k, $50k, $100k) I was excited and pretty open with it, telling family members and such, but I could tell they didn't seem to really care and I could see how it would cause problems, so I have kept it closer to the vest as the number got bigger. I do share with my younger brother because he has the same mindset and is heading for FI and has a good job as well, so it is nice to have someone to talk to about it. It doesn't feel like a competition with him, just keeping each other motivated.
Love this.
Dope username
<3 Reference to my obsession for trading diagonal spreads on SPX lolol
Also I wish I had this with a sibling. I have no one to do this with 😢
Yeah I feel pretty lucky. When I first learned about FIRE and was in the stage of consuming every available piece of media about it, I went to my brother to tell him everything I learned and it took all of 15 minutes for him to be like, "that's awesome, I'm doing that too." Haha we should both be solidly FI by late 30s, early 40s.
So proud of you both. I know I could've take something like this to my brother. He's gotta have the latest car with the latest phone on a $15/hr hourly wage. Needless to say we do not keep in touch. I lead my life very differently, more like you and your brother. Proud of you both. I'm 39 now. I wish you both FI before you're my age.
I tried telling my brother about fire. A few years later I asked if he thought I should retire in a couple of years or buy a Porsche. He quickly answered the car.
You have us 😂
Lol yeah I suppose but it's a but different when it's someone you know in the real world.
On my 3rd date with my BF, he mentioned how he didn't want to live to work his whole life. I asked if he knew about FIRE. He didn't, but once I explained what it was and how achievable is it he was all on board. Now I have a FIRE-buddy. My sister is still figuring out what she wants to do with her life so I've only shared a very small amount about what FIRE is with her.
You're lucky. I would talk to my brother about it at a high level (even got him to put 10k into nvda in 2019) and he complained to our mom last year. I wish I had anyone to talk to about things.
You made your brother ~$300k and he’s complaining about it?
I honestly don't know how much he is up on it at this point. He complained that I made him feel bad (You would think I'm a regular person if we met and I never even told him specifics or bragged about anything). I celebrate the good things in his life but I learned not to expect that from him. He's 5 years older than me, married with children, a great job, house worth 800k-1 mil (half mortgaged of course but at a stupid 3% interest rate). Theres no reason for him to feel insecure but he is. I'm just glad that he was investing it for my nieces. I had him do 10k nvda, 10k aapl and 10k VTI from a 30k inheritance they got from his wife's grandma's passing.
This is hilarious because I told my dad to invest $10k in nvidia around the same time maybe even a year sooner. My brother gave me shit saying I shouldn’t be telling our dad what to do with his money. He was right at the time, now he’s wrong lmao.
This is it, I’ve recently gained a large amount of wealth and found that you really can’t discuss wealth with people who don’t have it. It’s just rarely ever appropriate.
Yeah after people realize you have enough it becomes bragging.
I’m not really motivated to do FIRE or anything similar personally, but when my friends and I were first getting established in our careers we would openly talk about our promotions and salary bumps, and we’d all congratulate each other. One particular friend and I work in the same industry and when we’d switch jobs and get a bump, we’d try to bring the other one in to get the same or more. It was a good dynamic to have. We were all motivating and congratulating each other.
I wish I had more people around me with that type of mindset. But I feel kinda lost when it comes to talking about fire with anyone around me. We don't share the same vision and those who share my vision often don't talk about it.
I wouldn't throw a party unless everyone else has more than you and they're genuinely happy for you. It could be taken as a slap in the face to anyone making less. I just wouldn't risk it. Edit: I was assuming it would be known the party is celebrating the NW. Yes of course you can throw a party for no reason. Everyone can stop saying the same thing.
Yeah that would be my hesitation. The only person I told when I passed $1 million was my dad because I knew he would appreciate it.
I stopped talking about money with my parents when my mom (who hadn’t worked since I was born) told me I make “too much money.”
Ouff. I get vibes like that from my parents. I think they would rather I depend on them financially like my siblings - easier to control. My family keeps wanting me to give them money, and my mom keeps asking how much I make while telling me she needs to give more money to my siblings because they need it more than I do. But they for many years refuse to be financially responsible. Fire is my way of being intentional with my money.
Some parents will def use money as a means of control. Good to watch out for that.
I can understand and I would definitely not want to share my financial info with my in laws, but my dad is very into saving and investing.
I gave my mom 30K to pay off her Credit Card Debt, then "loaned" her another 30K to pay off her car because she couldn't afford the payments. She then complained to her friends cause we didn't have a "special" party for her 65 birthday. Family can be predatory and and a real drag.
The only person I told was my wife. She’s the only one who has reason to know.
That’s the right answer.
As a father, this warms my heart.
Yeah I really only thought of it because I would be so proud of myself and want to celebrate, not to throw it in others faces but I def see what you mean
Just throw a party. Call it a cookout or do it for the next friends bday or your dogs bday or any dumb thing. Just say you wanted to throw a party for no reason at all. It's a good way of sharing your wealth with your friends without letting them know how much you have
Why is there a Ferrari in the backyard by the grill though?
“It’s a rental”
unless you're gonna share the wealth---meaning literally give everyone a big ol' check if they attend, that's probably not a celebration many would appreciate if they aren't equally as fortunate.
honestly just have 'a' party, no need to flash amounts
Celebrate by stealth buying yourself something nice. Or by any little commemoration. I got a smallish custom 24k gold coin that said 1M. Wasn’t too expensive. Just do something meaningful for you
Or you know...throw the exact same party, just don't tell anyone. Does no one have friends over for food just for the hell of it? You don't have to have a reason(don't tell anyone your real reason)
Slap in the face and frankly, ostentatious.
Yes, limit who you tell. In fact, other than my wife, I don’t think I have ever told anyone about my net worth. It will only lead to resentment, jealousy, or people thinking you are boasting. Loose lips sink ships!
Do you see your net worth as a family, or just hers?
If he’s smart, all finances are combined.
I tell my wife and maybe my dogs. The husky usually asks me for a bigger yard though if I mention we have money.
Bruh my husky is always asking for money or to buy shit I s2g
He will probably drop dookies in it. This is why you can't have nice things!
Everyone that cares about you wants to see you do well, but not everyone that cares about you wants you to do *better* than them. I’d think carefully about who to disclose that to, though camaraderie with others on the path could be nice. What’s the reward to sharing net worth with anyone other than spouse or advisors? Personally, all my family knows is I’m ‘fine’, they don’t need to worry about me. I’ve never asked them for financial support, but I’ve also never intentionally broadcasted any FIRE lifestyle and current progress to them.
Also, the people that like you for you, don't care about your money. Telling them isn't going to make your friendship better, but may make it worse. The people that like you for your money, should not be told about your money.
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Shared mine with my spouse after we got engaged. Got married. She then wanted to spend everything on everything. When she didn't know and we were both frugal it was great. We are now divorced!
That’s good you told her when you did. She would’ve found out eventually, and the earlier you found out her huge flaw, the better. Hopefully you got out before any kids were in the mix.
Appreciated. Sad part is that she left me! Female friends of mine can't understand it, but such is life! I'm now a single dad. Full custody.
So did you get cleaned out in the divorce, or was it recognized as pre-marital assets? The fact that you won full custody makes me think there's a chance you managed to retain your savings.
Some things aren't worth fighting over. Other things are. I lost what I lost and got what I got, but still lost what I wanted.
*sending a nice long hug your way*
Sounds to me like you lost the money and got the kid!
Should have just pooped on the dollars eh. **To this day one of my favorite skits ever.
How bad was the alimony?
I'm still working! 😉
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You won’t tell your spouse about an inheritance? Don’t get me wrong I’m 26 and have never even been in a committed relationship before, so I’m in no place to critique you on your relationship decision making, but that seems like a pretty big thing to leave out with the one you love most in the world. I recently inherited a few million and obviously it’s not something I’ll ever talk about with anyone out of my sister and step mother, who are in the same position as I am. But that’s until I find a wife. I can’t imagine not telling her. She should absolutely know that no matter what happens I will be able to provide for us and our family. Idk though maybe I’ll change my mind on that as I get older.
I'll critique on your behalf. Not disclosing your finances to your fiance/spouse is a big red flag.
I'm in a 20 year long relationship and I've told my partner about every inheritance I've received. I can't even fathom being in a relationship where you would hide something like that.
That's weird to me. I was an only child of pretty well off parents, an only grandchild *and* an only niece so I've inherited a LOT over the years. My partner always knew about it, I never hid it from him. We've been smart with the money and used it to build a real estate company together.
Eh I talk about finances with my parents and it’s all good. They already got theirs. Why would they want my money
This is one of those things where people with healthy relationships with their parents and people without can't understand each other at all. My parents are totally secure and will never need or ask anything from me, and I trust them totally. But a lot of people don't have that.
You spoke wisdom into existence 🤏❣️
My parents don’t need my money by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t share specifics about my income and savings with them. My dad gets weird about money, and I feel like our relationship would change if my parents thought I was extremely well off.
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Addiction problems really mess people up, almost always to the point of no ruin. It's often not even the drugs, but more how they ruin all their relationships with their bad decisions that are a side effect of the drugs
Same - My parents are both retired teachers, so they're looking at fully funded state pensions, plus their own IRA/403b savings. They're absolutely set. Of all my siblings, I'm definitely the one most likely to reach early retirement (or even retirement at all tbh) and I think it's reassuring to my dad to hear that at least one of us is on track.
Best advice I’ve ever had was to keep it to yourself. Let others think you’re poor. I grew up poor(ish) so when I got some money I did some stuff I’d always wanted to do- travel, fly first class, get a newer truck, I suppose some of that was motivated by wanting others to know I wasn’t poor anymore, and then once I got enough confidence to not give a fuck what others think about me life got way way way more enjoyable. We have some friends who kill themselves to keep up with the jones’ and the husband almost had to file business bankruptcy a couple months ago. Yet he drives a brand new $100k truck and his wife a $100k Escalade. Just bought a brand new house over $1M. People who don’t know the background think they’re rich but in reality they are scrambling to keep up. I could quit working tomorrow and be fine, I drive a 10 year old truck, buy my clothes at Costco and just straight don’t give a fuck anymore.
Haha I’m headed towards that also! Really don’t care what people think about me anymore. Funny how that happens the more you have
>buy my clothes at Costco Guess we aren't going to be able to hang out cause we might show up with the exact same clothes on. When you mentioned your friends, I remember those days of being able to barely keep up. Not because of trying to keep up with the Jones', but just from having kids young and simply not making much money. I'll never forget the constant stress in just getting by. Now, I don't buy much, not because I can't, but because I choose not to. It is a much more peaceful existence.
Don't tell them anything. In fact, I'm pretty sure our families think we're struggling as we live well below our means and rent by choice.
lol yeah people definitely think I’m dirt poor based on my lifestyle
Keep it that way. Life is much easier when you don’t look like a target.
I get that on occasion. My Dad will ask, "Is Mrs. SBNShovelSlayer still driving that same honda?" Yep It's a 2011 Honda CRV w/70,000 miles on it. Haven't had a car payment in over 10 years.
Love it. I didn't really tell anyone about hitting $250K because it was mostly due to home equity. I might hit $500K next year but I'll probably only mention it here. Like others have said, stealth wealth is the way to go to keep a target off of your back. And maybe my spouse. He doesn't really care about Fire Club.
I had a friend ask me why I live like I am about to be homeless - it is just me so if something happens I have no fallback income. It really makes you want to live well within your means.
It is the greatest feeling when you live below your means. No pressure at all, and you know you are happy and have a financial safety net to deal with anything.
My dad thinks my wife and I are loaded because BOTH of us work.
Yeah I wish we did this but my wife insisted we have my mother in law do our taxes…not a great move.
lol, same. My wife still drives a 6 yr old car. We’re currently saving up to buy her something nicer with cash. Her family thinks I’m a cheapskate or something because we haven’t gotten her something new. They all get new cars every year and probably have crazy car payments.
lol you say 6 yrs old like that’s some kind of dinosaur
Yeah seriously. My car is 6 and I feel completely pampered in it. My husband’s car is 14 and he still loves it. Everything still works!
No matter how much money I have, I will never buy a brand new car. It seems like such a crazy waste of money to me.
Yes. The number of people I tell is limited to zero. Zilch. No one. They are going to wonder how the F I retired when I do so in a couple of years. But I don't really care. It's Noah's business but my own.
So you are telling Noah….
This made me laugh out loud so hard.
Who's he going to tell? One of the Giraffe's?
Yes, and you see, when he tells one giraffe, they’ll tell their mate, who is terrible at keeping secrets. So suddenly all of the animals know. So really, just don’t tell Noah!
There are two people IRL who know my net worth: my husband and a friend who’s also pursuing FIRE.
Nobody needs to know anything, period. My wife has divulged more to her brother than I’m comfortable with (more-so about her finances in particular, not mine as we keep separate accounts mostly). There is simply nothing to gain from letting random people have that sort of info. I know it’s a gross generalization, but people with money tend to be stealthy about it. It’s the folks that are pretending they have more than they really do that like to drop hints about their “wealth” or live a flashy lifestyle. Again, there are definitely exceptions to this. Edit: absolutely without a doubt DO NOT have a “I’m a millionaire party”. Bad form. I have, however, considered throwing a party to celebrate my mortgage pay-off!
I used to think that everyone was generally trying to work and plan to be successful with their lives. I would share successes when I was younger. Only about 11% of Americans are millionaires. So you’re going to be more successful than about 9 out of 10 people. Those 9 can be friends and almost certainly your family. It will not go over well as time goes by. Fewer than 3% of people actually FIRE which usually means having a net worth =+2 million before age 62. That’s only 1 in 33 people. It’s pretty rare. Good job. You’ll be one of those people.
1 in 33 sounds like a lot more than I would expect.
Including home equity, I'm not surprised, especially if you're looking at HCoL areas.
Um, yeah, throwing a party with friends and family is a bad idea. Maybe 1 person out of 20 would actually be happy for you. The rest would be butt hurt that you’re killing it financially. Unfortunately, you need to act poor!
Next week my wife and I will hit 1.7 million net worth. We talk about financials as far as ideas and strategies with people but we don’t talk about our personal finances. The only people that know are my parents, our accountant, and now you fine people.
I have a rule, if you tell them you lose them, people will found thousand ways to take your money, even the ones you love.
I stopped telling people about my financial situation when I got out of debt. People get really judgemental and jealous when you're doing better than they are financially. The same is true when it comes to health or any other personal milestones.
Throw a party and invite everyone on this subreddit 🥳
I’ve found myself wearing less and less nice clothes the more I had. I know the excitement and the need you feel to spread your joy, but I don’t believe anything good would come of it. If anything it could make relationships harder.
Same here. I still dress well but just use a simple t-shirt and pair of pants or shorts. Also whenever money comes up in a conversation I always take a middle-ground approach when I comment so nobody thinks I'm doing particularly well. Especially when my car is the oldest in the parking lot and I bring my lunch to work every day. Lastly, my wife and parents know my finances but they're all cool with it. My boss knows some of it since he can see my 401k and HSA are loaded but he actively encourages me to keep maxing everything and personally tells me about changes to make sure I'm aware since I'm one of the few in my company that cares this much. Definitely a better boss than most.
The only person I tell is the hubby. And I guess reddit because y'all don't ask me for money.
Listen, I know this is out of the blue…… but I Promise that….
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Crossed into 7-figure net worth right before covid. Told my wife because we make big financial decisions together. Told my mom because she’s been saving money all of her life and wanted me to do the same. I take pleasure in saving and watching it grow as well and it made her happy. Told my older brother who said to me I was a “loser” and I need to leave my career behind and move closer to him so he can “hook me up” with something to do instead of that “stupid thing” I’m doing now. He doesn’t have anything for me that pays even half of what I’m making now. Everyone else, if it ever comes up I either say nothing or just a generic “we’re doing ok”. Sometimes, I join in and play along in the “I’m poor and everything is so expensive” conversations at work and parties. They feel fun and not too far from the truth if I compare my wealth to any well known rich person. A couple of things about our kids. They are both teenagers. The older one got some kind of fascination with cash. Took her to the bank, withdrew $10k in $100 bills and gave it to her to play with it for a week. Told her this cash never leaves her room, she isn’t taking it to school or showing it to her friends. No one can know about it as it’s enough money for some people to try and do some really bad things to us. She could play with it at home as much as she wants. Two days later she was done and we took it back to the bank. The message was that there’s nothing special or magical about cash money. It’s just a tool like most things around us are. Second kid was very impressed with someone at his school getting dropped off in a Ferrari. We googled it together and found a similar one for sale. I opened up and showed him one of the accounts that had enough in it to buy at least two of them. Then we went over how much it costs in maintenance and insurance. And that for our lifestyle, it’s just an expensive toy. I’d rather have that money invested to generate more money over time. And if we really want that experience, then we’ll find a way to rent one for a day or two. The weird thing is that I kind of enjoy realizing I can afford to buy some expensive things outright at any moment if I wanted to. That thought alone is giving me enough comfort and satisfaction to actually not want things nearly as much as I used to when all I had was $2,000 to my name. Plus, I really really want to not to have to work one day, hopefully, while I’m still somewhat young and agile enough to enjoy my retirement.
That’s exactly how I feel! I actually showed my daughter my account to prove to her that someone can have enough money for something and it doesn’t mean we need to show it to others and/or buy things just because we have the money
This is superb parenting. Good on you. 👍👍
People are weird about money. We just crossed 300k at 31 and 28 YO combined. (We are married and she is a SAHM that blogs). Much of that is tied up in RE property. I tell my family when they ask. I tell my friends when they ask. I don't want others to compare themselves to me. I only compare our situation to average earners that are also tracking their NWs, because the ultra wealthy and anomalies are near impossible to compare to. The poor and poverty are so confused, uneducated and lost with it, so no help here either. So I continue to compare our situation with others around us that earn similarly or build wealth the same type of way. Talk to your kids at the dinner table about finance. It will remove the stupid elephant in the room that everyone seems to have as an adult because they are ignorant to the fact. Happy investing!
Thx! What topics do you recommend to start with when talking to children? My daughter is 8
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I do this with our kids. I also teach my kids how to limit their spending to only the things they place the most value in. For example when they were little sometimes I’d say yes to them having a treat. Then if they find something else they wanted I’d say “sure but you can only have one so which one do you want the most?” It was agony for them at first. Slowly you expand that mindset into all sorts of different situations and eventually they start to get the hang of denying themselves things they don’t really want. My youngest is great with it now and is wonderful with budgeting but my oldest is really struggling with the whole delayed gratification thing.
First savings, then investing. Money management and tracking. Debt management. All of these things will help set your children up for success. Good on you to start earlier than later!
Why do you want to tell people so bad? Keep that shit to yourself, for a good number of reasons.
The more I have, the less I tell. Currently my mom only.
My wife and I had my Fire mentor and his wife over for dinner and toasted a financial goal. It was very delightful to have someone we could share it with, since we follow the first, and second, rule of Fire club. My parents, and our kids, would be totally weird if they knew what we'd put together, especially since they don't understand how much it takes to create a residual income.
Don't tell anyone except the fire subreddit. No one understands the fire except those on fire mentality. I tried explaining to those my friend and coworker, yet they're stuck in their own bad spending habits and way of thinking
Don't tell anyone. I tell my wife ONLY
I don't talk about my finances with many people. A few people close to me know some details, but I don't think anyone knows my net worth. I don't know how much the people around me have either. Regarding your boyfriend and letting him know what your finances look like - I think that when people start getting serious, like building a life together serious, then it's time to talk about money details. There is a lot you can do before you get to that point to determine if you are on the same page financially, which is important for assessing compatibility. But once you are really considering building a life together, then it's time to talk financial details.
I wouldn't tell anyone who doesn't absolutely need to know. People may guess or speculate but I would never openly say it.
Do people actually tell others of their net worth? Random people on Reddit know more about my finances than people I know IRL.
Judging from Reddit everyone is 22 and has 2 million nw
I don't tell them anything. I made that mistake once when I hit like $50K when I was 23, and then my cousin hit me up to invest in his failing restaurant and another cousin wanted to borrow money for a down payment on their house. I didn't at the time, but I did eventually loan an uncle \~$100K. Nowadays, they know I'm comfortable, but not exact numbers. They did figure out we're millionaires when we bought a house in a VHCOL area, but they have no idea how much liquid we have. The only people who know are my in-laws, and only because my MIL manages our brokerage accounts, and my FIL does our taxes. But they're also very well-off and never ask for money.
Definitely. I’ve mentioned it on Reddit, but not IRL. I especially don’t mention my future NW projections. I hit $1M early this year. If I project 5 or 10 years into the future, things get wild.
What’s also wild: the monthly NW swings. Recently, I saw one month where my NW increased as much as my first full-time yearly salary. It was shocking.
Most of the people I worked with didn't understand saving at all. I worked in the public sector and almost all of them think their pension will be enough. It's generous but it's like 50-60% of what you made. I didn't want to live with less in retirement so every raise went into the 457 plan and eliminating debt. It's a foreign concept to most outside of our club here.
This is how you celebrate… on Reddit, where no one knows you. Congrats on whichever milestone you achieved and keep heading in that direction!
Thx! Glad I found this thread
Just my spouse. And also Reddit.
You said spouse twice
Nobody cares or wants you to announce how much money or “net worth” you have. Also as long as it is in the market and you are not diving into it like scrooge mcduck, you don’t really “have it”.
There is zero upside to sharing such info. Money does strange things to people. Many get jealous and may start treating you differently
I've told my wife, my mother, my lawyer, and a few former coworkers. People that were worried that I would wind up homeless with my life choices. Explaining that I have 700k liquid and 400k in equity seemed to get them to relax. It also got them to stop buying me stuff I didn't need because they thought I needed it and couldn't afford it.
I don’t tell ANYONE
I've never told anyone about any monetary "milestones". My close family/friends know I plan to FIRE, but we don't discuss the specifics of it monetarily. Not because I wouldn't if they asked, but because it really doesn't matter to anyone but me, since it's based on my particular situation, plans, etc. and wouldn't be applicable to them with very different circumstances etc. The only celebration I plan to have is to FIRE and maybe throw a retirement party before sailing off into the sunset.
My husband and I have been building our wealth together and have been very open about all of the lifestyle changes and steps we are taking. We will be having a party at some of our milestones when we hit them. We had one of our friends reach 1 million net worth and he casually announced it at our weekly get together, but there were cheers and congrats all around. Our friend group is full of people trying to do better for themselves and there are 3 couples pursuing FIRE in different ways. My husband and I are the most open about it, but people don’t get weird about it anymore. When we first opened up about our goals we had a lot of skepticism. We aren’t very far, but we’ve now traveled a lot more than most and made some big moves that had made people realize we really are doing it. Most of our family has nothing but good things to say now.
At 27, just today, I checked my NW and I've hit $250k (253k, to be more exact). Haven't told a single soul. I truly haven't been paying much attention to it, myself. Last big milestone was 100k, which carried more personal weight, as it seemed really difficult to accomplish. Just automate as much as you can, so you can't spend it. Probably will go to a nice restaurant this weekend.
Don’t even share with your bf imo… if you get engaged or commit somehow reveal then. Can get weird and you don’t want to be questioning his motives 24/7 Same with family. I wouldn’t tell a soul. My family unfortunately found out and made all sorts of jealous remarks. Simply because they chose to live a certain lifestyle (partying) and I didn’t and saved.
I told a couple of friends that I paid off my mortgage and their reactions were a bit quietly wierd. Enough make me realize you keep this stuff to yourself. I did tell my mother because I felt she deserved to know / would be proud of me, as they taught me to be frugal and smart with my money. But even that was a bit 'hey it took us way longer to get there than you' type vibes.
Throwing a party to boast about it is just asking for trouble
I don’t tell people who don’t need to know, which is really only limited to my girlfriend, but I will also discuss my finances in some detail with peers who ask. My social circle has kind of naturally evolved towards people with similar circumstances as me, so it isn’t really as taboo to talk about. But I wouldn’t really say I go into specifics. I’m a little loose about my financial picture, but not the whole RE element of it, with some higher ups at work because I’ve found that it affords me some leverage honestly.
I have a trusted circle of friends who I regularly give financial updates too. It’s been a great boost. I am planning to tell my partner soon too the specifics of my finances before we wed. Outside of that, not a soul knows. They don’t need to. I don’t present as wealthy and it’s not anyone’s business.
My dad has a decent feel for where I'm at but doesn't know the exact figure. I think he's proud of me. He did FIRE and has been retired half of my life. I think a decent chunk of my family knows I'm doing pretty well but they probably underestimate it. I'm not telling my mother or step father since they rely on me for handouts. My aunts and uncles have a sense that I'm doing pretty well for myself. My ex knew where I was in 2022 (we both had similarish networths but this is when VOO was at a low of 340ish instead of 480ish) but my networth went up about 50% since then between a great stock market year and saving a bunch. My ex could probably guess that I added about 2 years worth of income and that the S&P went pop A good friend has a feel for where I'm at. She's likely in a similarish position in terms of net worth but I don't know the exact amount that she'd got. I have coworkers that know I never "cashed out" any of the stock that I've gotten and pretty much saved like crazy but they don't know here I'm at exactly.
One person knows my actual NW and it’s my best friend who is also super in to saving and investing. We’ve both been very successful so I know he won’t be jealous. Nobody else knows. Not even family. If they ask, I say I’m poor.
Still early on but will begin hitting big milestones soon. Passed 100K recently and should see 250k in the next 4-5 years. Only people I plan on telling are my parents and a very close friend who’s in the same industry and on the same path.
Until you are married, you say nothing. You don’t want him to ask you to marry him because of your money.
No one should be getting married without a prenup anyway.
i only tell my fiancee.
No one other then my spouse and my brother who vastly out earns me. And only because he's who we would entrust with our 2 kids if we both die. We told him because we made a will and wanted his consent in that case... it's been a few years though and I don't update him or anything.
I recently managed to pay off all of my debts and I told my therapist and that’s it. So, I’m an advocate for keeping it to yourself or sharing with someone who is professional obligated to keep it confidential.
If you find like minded people that enjoy talking about investments and wealth then MAYBE tell them. We all know the grind, dedication and consistency it takes for building wealth and we just want to celebrate. I get it !!!
>and then started thinking about how dumb that would be lol You are right, that would be extremely dumb. Money is a pretty sensitive topic. Those who are doing better than you may wonder why you're flaunting, and those who are doing worse than you may wonder if you're rubbing it in their face. >I debated telling him my net worth. I would only share these kind of details with someone who I envision building a life with and with someone who I already know shares similar financial values as me.
FIRE or not, it’s probably best not to share your financial status with friends or family (besides your spouse). There’s just not really any reason to. If one of my friends invited me to a “I saved up $1M” party, I think that’d be weird. Like, cool, but also why should I really care. I’m happy to see my friends do well, but attaching the specific dollar amount just makes it feel braggy. You can throw a retirement party whenever you retire, but celebrating saving X amount of dollars is just odd.
My parents know, because my parents are cool about it and into personal finance as a hobby as well. But friends know nothing more than "I am working towards being FI" at best.
You never tell people your net worth. You can tell it only to your mom, your wife/husband, and Reddit.
Prepare to have all your friendships and relationships ruined by people asking for loans, wondering why you don’t pay for everything, expecting lavish gifts, jealousy and fake warmth.
Not only do I not tell anyone, even my partner. I keep investments in multiple institutions so even they don’t know my net worth.
Absolutely very few people
Only 4 people know how much I have. My in laws, my wife, and me.
Only my wife and my mom (who has slightly more than me) know our net worth.
Only one who knows is wife (she just goes "thats nice"), dad (he has more than enough and multiples of me), brother (sort of, but no real details). No one else cares and they are all doing pretty well so....we all just keep it mostly to our selves.
Don’t tell anyone. But if you do, lie. If you want to celebrate, just celebrate by throwing a party, mini vacay, or dinner. Go solo. Or Invite whoever. Your bf, your family, and/or maybe some friends. Just tell them it’s for “a promotion at work” or “work anniversary”. You can even say “I finally have enough savings for a down payment on a house!” (And whether you buy the house or not, they don’t need to know.) They don’t need to know the whole truth.
I only tell family that I know for fact has more than me. This way there is no jealousy or issues like that. Most of my family has done really well.
I tell my wife when we pass a new milestone, and that’s it. I’ve never told any other person anything about how much money we have, ever. I’ll tell my two kids one day when they’re a lot older. That’s the full circle of people I ever plan to tell how much money I’m worth. If I were in your position, I would tell no one.
This is a good statement. I think while you shouldn't throw a party for dollar sign milestones, you should prob do a small get together with friends or family for accomplishments. Like a "debt free!" Or a "we are retired now" small invite thing. Keep it a celebration but also keep it super generalized and ambiguous.
Only my absolute best friend and wife know we have over 2m. I tell absolutely no one because they don’t need to know and I am not out to impress anyone. Lots of friends and family know I have my house and new vehicles paid off, but they don’t know our NW because we live a very low key lifestyle.
Never share networth with family and friends. Innate quality of people who have less than you, is to feel jealous, if they say they are happy, they are lying. Sometimes telling wife is also a mistake, I feel, because thought towards careful spending gets relaxed, but it is natural.
> For a quick sec I thought about having a party with close friends/family once I reach 1m and then started thinking about how dumb that would be lol Had me in the first half, I was about to call you a massive idiot haha.
I tell people I trust very much and I know they would not be jealous of my success. I have told my fiance who is also a high earner (she’s a doctor), my parents and brother. However I never told anyone else I’m a millionaire my friends or other relatives.
I told my parents, my in-laws, and my spouse. My father tried using it against me to get me to "help my brother since you are doing so well". My in-laws ignore my advice. My mother says good job like I'm 12 and just got another A. My spouse spends a bit more some times and others freaks that "is not enough to survive!". Reddit is great for sharing and getting it out without bad consequences (just don't dox yourself).
Literally just my mom.
I guess it’s just my generation but no single person in my life knows exactly how much I have. People are curious as to how I’m retired so young (57) but most are too polite to ask. It changes the dynamic in friendships. I don’t pretend to not have money but if you just met me you wouldn’t know that I do. It’s just really no one’s business.
I share with people who have the same mindset and I help manage strategies for my parents to withdraw for retirement.
I’ve never told anyone at any milestone. My parents saved and saved and are in a very good position in retirement and would only be happy for us and not jealous or weird about it and I haven’t even told them.
Yeah as I’ve been on this journey, I’ve noticed that seemingly it’s acceptable to show off a house or car or vacation but for some reason unacceptable to show off net worth. Can’t say I agree with it but that’s the way things are
I told reddit when I hit $1m NW. Only my wife and me know
40s here - i tell some friends in similar economic situations that we’re in good shape for retirement. Hopefully to get them to focus on saving so I have some friends that can retire early with us and travel/adventure/whatever. 1.3M in 401/IRA; 20% of that is Roth. Contributing about 50k more each year to retirement with the matches.
Just my wife.