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I don’t think I really, truly despised this sentient red flag until this but this weird attack on therapy that just so happens to coincide with his pregnant wife very clearly falling apart is just so fucking unconscionable to me
Like I genuinely thought he was just a weirdo who’s awkward and trying to pray his ADHD away but no, he’s a malignant tumor on human decency
e: also goes without saying that he’s a racist piece of shit and deserves nothing but ridicule
It’s the cruelty of Paul that makes him different, and scarier, than other fundie husbands. It’s not enough to be incompetent, dumb, lazy, and self centered. He really just wants to inflict as much damage as possible.
I'll say this about the husbands of some of the Fundies here...most of them may be lazy and irresponsible, but most of them aren't as deliberately toxic and focused on hurting their wives as Paul is (and Mandrae, but his toxicity is more due to willful neglect than outright abuse).
Truth. But while it's deliberate it's a more idle abuse while Paul sets out to systemically destroy or belittle anyone who isn't him. They both suck, in different ways.
He's anti-therapy because mentally healthy people won't put up with his bullshit and will openly fight against him. They'll know their worth and demand he respect their boundaries. People like him thrive off exploiting the vulnerable. He's scum like that.
Pretty sure he also uses his ADHD as an excuse for his lack of empathy. Which is not actually a symptom of ADHD as far as I'm aware but is a symptom of being an asshole.
Oh 100% , Paul is even more collapsed and chaotic tho. He has a lot of anti social behaviours that are red flashing lights, and air raid sirens.
From what he has CHOSEN TO POST Paul is sadistic, has a flat affect, he is manipulative, controlling and delights in cruelty. He is a failure at everything but thinks he's an expert that everyone should listen to.
He does not pause or think through stuff, he has little theory of other minds, and is extremely shallow to the point of all surface but no depth. There's no real "self" just a tangle of anger and lust, petulance and need for attention and someone to victimise.
He has had some opportunities even in his shitty niche but he fumbled that too because his personality is utterly repugnant. I think Paul has, alas , more problems with his psyche than narcissism. Paul is fucking terrifying for someone who is such a prissy Lil bish
I read through the comments on his post. People are giving him constructive feedback and he just doubles down on his definition of trauma bond, despite being wrong. I guess we must all cater to Paul’s profound lack of intelligence.
He did acquiesce that therapy is ok for a short period of time. Because sure, if you have a chronic illness, you only need to manage those symptoms for a few months, not your entire life. God will take over for the medical specialists.
There's a part of me that would love to talk to him. I was viciously abused by my ex-wife and her mother so obviously points lost, but I'm also taller, more muscular, and more 'masculine'.
I also love my daughter and look after her. It'd be interesting to watch how he rationalises it all. I think these people maintain their bubbles at all costs, and much like my ex, do everything they can avoid *real* confrontation
>do everything they can avoid real confrontation
This. People like Paul are by their nature cowards. He can only pick on his wife who is stuck with him because of their faith and doesn't have the mental fortitude to fight against his bullshit. A confrontation with someone willing and able to fight back would make Paul piss himself.
Therapists don’t exist to tell clients what clients want to hear.
They aren’t “yes men.”
They don’t rile clients up.
They aren’t invested in any particular outcome aside from helping each client to safely explore, navigate, and integrate difficult or confusing aspects of their inner and outer lives and relationships through the use of whatever tools and skills the client has or wants to develop.
What is this crazy talk?!? Therapists are using their radical agendas to turn everyone into queer feminists with blue hair and nipple piercings and facial tattoos. With cats! And no babies! Abortions every week and magic mushrooms for every breakfast!
Why, if I hadn’t spent decades in therapy, I would probably still be a submissive doormat who kept picking … the wrong … guys … … ….. oh, Paul, you’re telling on yourself, Buddy.
Just ease yourself in slowly with a plaid jacket and a sensible shoe. See how that goes and consider adopting a Senior.dog with an awful personality that needs careful nursing.
That's mainly the agenda
My therapist made me divorce a perfectly good wonderful man and turned me into a bisexual anarchist.
AND the state paid for most of it through.something called Victims Services because my perfectly fine first husband definitely did not qualify me for counselling services only available to victims of serious crime 😜
Oh fuck I should probably fire my therapist who is helping me navigate fertility treatment. She hasn’t brainwashed me into yeeting my uterus yet; clearly not doing her job.
The doctors are pretty optimistic about IVF chances. It’s just that, you know, this process has been like a sledgehammer to all of my dysfunction. My therapist is great.
If your therapist is riling you up, there’s a problem. There will almost definitely be times while in therapy, especially for trauma, that will leave people feeling raw or vulnerable, but that’s part of healing.
>If your therapist is riling you up, there’s a problem.
I'm pretty sure by "riling up", Paul means this interesting phenomenon where people are encouraged by their therapists to set healthy boundaries for the first time in their lives, and their families and friends absolutely hate it because they want this person to stay passive and boundary-less. And they blame it on the therapist "riling up" that person, and say the therapist "destroyed their relationship."
I'm in therapy right now (for a shitton of childhood trauma) and when I mentioned that it's now easier for me to be assertive and stand up for myself, his first question was: "So what does your partner think about that?" Because it's unfortunately so common.
I find the therapy I’m doing right now to be akin to lancing an infected wound. Like yeah it hurts and I’m activated after, but that shit was already there and needed to get cleaned out. I’ve gotten to the point where my therapist asks me like three good questions a session and the rest is me working shit out in my own.
By “goes off the rails” do you think he means: stops talking to abusive family/friends, stops attending church, starts being more accepting of others, stops obsessing over sin, or is gentler and kinder to themselves?
Okay, yes, intensive trauma counseling often leads to completely falling apart. And that sucks ASS. But you know what else sucks ass? Breaking a bone that healed crooked to reset it properly.
That’s what therapy is. You can either continue on with the unhealthy coping skills, the unending pain, and the further damage that will result to yourself and those you love, or you can bite the bullet and set that bone, because you and your loved ones are worth it. And you and they ARE worth it.
It takes more guts than anything I’ve survived in my whole life, which includes being born in a home that made the blanket-training Pearls look like lovely people. But it’s still worth it.
How sad, immature, and short-sighted this guy is.
Exactly. Also, giving yourself permission to be outraged at cruelty and set boundaries. He stands to lose a lot if he does that regarding his dad, because his dad would pitch a fit. And he stands to lose a lot if Morgan does it regarding him.
Sometimes fixing your life involves fucking it up first, but getting away from abuse is worth it.
I honestly think he just says things like this because he likes to say things and the quality of what he’s saying doesn’t matter to him as long as it generates any response. Doesn’t matter if it’s hurtful, logical, researched, unresearched, positive, or negative. It doesn’t matter as long as people talk back. Because that seems like exactly the kind of small, weak “man” he is.
Paul is trying to sound like he knows what he's talking about while simultaneously telling on himself. He talks about trauma like it's a thing you decide you think happened to you instead of a true emotion; like you can decide to be traumatized and wallow in "drama" or gEt OvEr It. He's really lucky to not understand, but holy shit this is the most out of touch and embarrassing take he's had in a while and it really shows how truly stupid and egotistical he is. I'd be fucking mortified to be associated with him right now.
One of my favorite things about Reddit is that I've found Redditors who also grew up with abusive, narcissistic fathers.
Paul (I know you're here), we would rather not have had to do your definition of "trauma bonding" aka, find support in other humans who went through the same thing, which I know is a foreign concept to you. It's a way to heal and realize you're not alone. Contrary to ~~popular~~ your belief, it's not like some cool club or a status symbol to have lasting trauma.
He’s the kind of person that thinks racism wouldn’t be a problem if minorities would just shut up about it. 😬 How DARE anyone point out the things that are wrong with the world?!
Imagine having to resort to posting bullshit trash like this for engagement and relevance at the expense of your desperately unwell wife in order to feed your family.
that’s on BestofRedditorUpdates!
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The system and the predators within them already *know* that their behaviors hurt people, it’s a designed feature not a flaw, folks. In this case we have a man raised in the toxic patriarchy which essentially makes him a teddy ruxpin made out of flesh who can say and believe whatever he’s got on those indoctrination flavored prerecorded ‘logic systems of a biblical worldview, traditional beliefs and a near UNBELIEVABLE amount of nonsense to fill the bits in between them.
I don't understand how what Paul and Morgan do for a "job" is any different than "looking inward" for eternity or whatever he thinks going to therapy is. They are just thinking about themselves on a different couch.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t think I really, truly despised this sentient red flag until this but this weird attack on therapy that just so happens to coincide with his pregnant wife very clearly falling apart is just so fucking unconscionable to me Like I genuinely thought he was just a weirdo who’s awkward and trying to pray his ADHD away but no, he’s a malignant tumor on human decency e: also goes without saying that he’s a racist piece of shit and deserves nothing but ridicule
It’s the cruelty of Paul that makes him different, and scarier, than other fundie husbands. It’s not enough to be incompetent, dumb, lazy, and self centered. He really just wants to inflict as much damage as possible.
He and Bethany could’ve been a match made in hell. They both love saying things on purpose to rile people up.
Dear God, two narcissists hate fucking as a competition. They'd have a billion children 🤮🤮🤮
imagine the HORROR bethy would face dating someone that much shorter than her though 😭
Bethy is a petulant child who wants attention. Paul is a sadist. Causing pain to others drives him.
He’s definitely the worst of the two!
I hope he and bethy have an affair. The drama would be beautiful
That would make a good season of The Fundie Show. Next season, Dave leaves her, goes to college, and leaves the cult.
I'll say this about the husbands of some of the Fundies here...most of them may be lazy and irresponsible, but most of them aren't as deliberately toxic and focused on hurting their wives as Paul is (and Mandrae, but his toxicity is more due to willful neglect than outright abuse).
Neglect is abuse
Truth. But while it's deliberate it's a more idle abuse while Paul sets out to systemically destroy or belittle anyone who isn't him. They both suck, in different ways.
Paul is sadistic
He's anti-therapy because mentally healthy people won't put up with his bullshit and will openly fight against him. They'll know their worth and demand he respect their boundaries. People like him thrive off exploiting the vulnerable. He's scum like that.
This 100%.
He’s not trying to pray his adhd away, he’s allowed to take meds. Morgan’s not.
Pretty sure he also uses his ADHD as an excuse for his lack of empathy. Which is not actually a symptom of ADHD as far as I'm aware but is a symptom of being an asshole.
Its also a symptom of abusing or taking too much ADHD meds.
And a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder
Oh 100% , Paul is even more collapsed and chaotic tho. He has a lot of anti social behaviours that are red flashing lights, and air raid sirens. From what he has CHOSEN TO POST Paul is sadistic, has a flat affect, he is manipulative, controlling and delights in cruelty. He is a failure at everything but thinks he's an expert that everyone should listen to. He does not pause or think through stuff, he has little theory of other minds, and is extremely shallow to the point of all surface but no depth. There's no real "self" just a tangle of anger and lust, petulance and need for attention and someone to victimise. He has had some opportunities even in his shitty niche but he fumbled that too because his personality is utterly repugnant. I think Paul has, alas , more problems with his psyche than narcissism. Paul is fucking terrifying for someone who is such a prissy Lil bish
Perfect case study of Paulsac
I have ADHD and most days feel like I am too empathetic to function.
Remember when he misused “hyperfixation” too? Bro doesn’t know shit about therapy.
Wait he takes ADHD medication?!
Yeah, this is evil behavior.
I read through the comments on his post. People are giving him constructive feedback and he just doubles down on his definition of trauma bond, despite being wrong. I guess we must all cater to Paul’s profound lack of intelligence. He did acquiesce that therapy is ok for a short period of time. Because sure, if you have a chronic illness, you only need to manage those symptoms for a few months, not your entire life. God will take over for the medical specialists.
100% he's bitchijg about the expense. He could save money if he stopped abusing his wife
There's a part of me that would love to talk to him. I was viciously abused by my ex-wife and her mother so obviously points lost, but I'm also taller, more muscular, and more 'masculine'. I also love my daughter and look after her. It'd be interesting to watch how he rationalises it all. I think these people maintain their bubbles at all costs, and much like my ex, do everything they can avoid *real* confrontation
>do everything they can avoid real confrontation This. People like Paul are by their nature cowards. He can only pick on his wife who is stuck with him because of their faith and doesn't have the mental fortitude to fight against his bullshit. A confrontation with someone willing and able to fight back would make Paul piss himself.
I wanna study Paul under a microscope. He's the perfect representation of a toxic bigoted narcissistic fundie man
I would watch paul d*e in a glue trap
so glad you’re out of that situation and glad your daughter has someone like you looking out for her! all the best ❤️
Thank you! I needed that :). All the best to you as well
I'm so sorry for what you and your girl have suffered. May every day bring more gentleness and peace
Thank you so much! Such a kind thing to say, and I hope the same for you!
Today I learned that I've experienced trauma bonding! Thanks, Paul, for being wrong in a way that led to education!
Hey, me too! With an ex who was veeeeery similar to Paul!
Mickey Atkins had at least one video with a trigger warning that was just "Paul." On the one hand it was kind of funny but on the other... Yeah. Paul.
Therapists don’t exist to tell clients what clients want to hear. They aren’t “yes men.” They don’t rile clients up. They aren’t invested in any particular outcome aside from helping each client to safely explore, navigate, and integrate difficult or confusing aspects of their inner and outer lives and relationships through the use of whatever tools and skills the client has or wants to develop.
What is this crazy talk?!? Therapists are using their radical agendas to turn everyone into queer feminists with blue hair and nipple piercings and facial tattoos. With cats! And no babies! Abortions every week and magic mushrooms for every breakfast! Why, if I hadn’t spent decades in therapy, I would probably still be a submissive doormat who kept picking … the wrong … guys … … ….. oh, Paul, you’re telling on yourself, Buddy.
I don’t really want to dye my hair but everything else sounds good, how to I sign up for the gay therapist cult?
Just ease yourself in slowly with a plaid jacket and a sensible shoe. See how that goes and consider adopting a Senior.dog with an awful personality that needs careful nursing. That's mainly the agenda
Well, voting Democrat is a good place to start
My therapist made me divorce a perfectly good wonderful man and turned me into a bisexual anarchist. AND the state paid for most of it through.something called Victims Services because my perfectly fine first husband definitely did not qualify me for counselling services only available to victims of serious crime 😜
Oh fuck I should probably fire my therapist who is helping me navigate fertility treatment. She hasn’t brainwashed me into yeeting my uterus yet; clearly not doing her job.
I’ve been through fertility treatments. Sending you whatever energy you need to make it through another day. 💜
The doctors are pretty optimistic about IVF chances. It’s just that, you know, this process has been like a sledgehammer to all of my dysfunction. My therapist is great.
If your therapist is riling you up, there’s a problem. There will almost definitely be times while in therapy, especially for trauma, that will leave people feeling raw or vulnerable, but that’s part of healing.
>If your therapist is riling you up, there’s a problem. I'm pretty sure by "riling up", Paul means this interesting phenomenon where people are encouraged by their therapists to set healthy boundaries for the first time in their lives, and their families and friends absolutely hate it because they want this person to stay passive and boundary-less. And they blame it on the therapist "riling up" that person, and say the therapist "destroyed their relationship." I'm in therapy right now (for a shitton of childhood trauma) and when I mentioned that it's now easier for me to be assertive and stand up for myself, his first question was: "So what does your partner think about that?" Because it's unfortunately so common.
I find the therapy I’m doing right now to be akin to lancing an infected wound. Like yeah it hurts and I’m activated after, but that shit was already there and needed to get cleaned out. I’ve gotten to the point where my therapist asks me like three good questions a session and the rest is me working shit out in my own.
Paul, sweetie, therapy is what keeps me (mostly) on the rails.
By “goes off the rails” do you think he means: stops talking to abusive family/friends, stops attending church, starts being more accepting of others, stops obsessing over sin, or is gentler and kinder to themselves?
Okay, yes, intensive trauma counseling often leads to completely falling apart. And that sucks ASS. But you know what else sucks ass? Breaking a bone that healed crooked to reset it properly. That’s what therapy is. You can either continue on with the unhealthy coping skills, the unending pain, and the further damage that will result to yourself and those you love, or you can bite the bullet and set that bone, because you and your loved ones are worth it. And you and they ARE worth it. It takes more guts than anything I’ve survived in my whole life, which includes being born in a home that made the blanket-training Pearls look like lovely people. But it’s still worth it. How sad, immature, and short-sighted this guy is.
I did a year of intensive EMDR and trauma processing. 0 of 5 stars but I'd do it again in a heartbeat knowing how much healthier I am today
Yep. This. 100%. The work is HARD, but so, SO worth it.
Getting riled up in therapy= not dissociating from your feelings every second anymore.
Exactly. Also, giving yourself permission to be outraged at cruelty and set boundaries. He stands to lose a lot if he does that regarding his dad, because his dad would pitch a fit. And he stands to lose a lot if Morgan does it regarding him. Sometimes fixing your life involves fucking it up first, but getting away from abuse is worth it.
I honestly think he just says things like this because he likes to say things and the quality of what he’s saying doesn’t matter to him as long as it generates any response. Doesn’t matter if it’s hurtful, logical, researched, unresearched, positive, or negative. It doesn’t matter as long as people talk back. Because that seems like exactly the kind of small, weak “man” he is.
Paul is trying to sound like he knows what he's talking about while simultaneously telling on himself. He talks about trauma like it's a thing you decide you think happened to you instead of a true emotion; like you can decide to be traumatized and wallow in "drama" or gEt OvEr It. He's really lucky to not understand, but holy shit this is the most out of touch and embarrassing take he's had in a while and it really shows how truly stupid and egotistical he is. I'd be fucking mortified to be associated with him right now.
One of my favorite things about Reddit is that I've found Redditors who also grew up with abusive, narcissistic fathers. Paul (I know you're here), we would rather not have had to do your definition of "trauma bonding" aka, find support in other humans who went through the same thing, which I know is a foreign concept to you. It's a way to heal and realize you're not alone. Contrary to ~~popular~~ your belief, it's not like some cool club or a status symbol to have lasting trauma.
I can just imagine someone across from Paul at chipotle or whatever going "and how did that make you feel?" And Paul never realizing he is in therapy.
He’s so anti therapy that Morgan had to get her PTSD therapy from pickleball!!
He’s the kind of person that thinks racism wouldn’t be a problem if minorities would just shut up about it. 😬 How DARE anyone point out the things that are wrong with the world?!
Speaking out about systemic injustice? That's a victim mindset! Jesus would've NEVER — oh wait..
Paul is such a good case study on narcissistic fundie men who need a punch in the groin
[удалено]
Yea, let him live and suffer infertilly.
Imagine having to resort to posting bullshit trash like this for engagement and relevance at the expense of your desperately unwell wife in order to feed your family.
He's so fucking stupid I love that he thinks trauma bonding is ppl having a fucking tea party to celebrate their trauma together
Is this directed at Dav, who gets therapy and has for awhile? They just spent time together.
NEED HELP idk how flairs work, didn’t choose this one don’t want it don’t know how to change it please take it away
idk if you fixed it or what but it isn’t showing up!
Under my name on a comment on another thread it says “He is naked” and I have no clue why
that’s on BestofRedditorUpdates! each subreddit has different flairs so you’ll have to message the mods on that reddit to fix it! or you can go to the subreddit and click edit flair to remove. eta: if you’re in mobile go to the sub and click the three little dots in the right hand corner. there’s a thing there that says change user flair
The system and the predators within them already *know* that their behaviors hurt people, it’s a designed feature not a flaw, folks. In this case we have a man raised in the toxic patriarchy which essentially makes him a teddy ruxpin made out of flesh who can say and believe whatever he’s got on those indoctrination flavored prerecorded ‘logic systems of a biblical worldview, traditional beliefs and a near UNBELIEVABLE amount of nonsense to fill the bits in between them.
I don't understand how what Paul and Morgan do for a "job" is any different than "looking inward" for eternity or whatever he thinks going to therapy is. They are just thinking about themselves on a different couch.
Paul can't fathom that not everyone is as manipulative and gaslighting as himself, so he doesn't trust therapists.