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I get you. I’m the same age as you and I often wonder the same thing. I think it’s because of things like most of us not getting to own a home, have kids, or travel as much as older generations are able to. There’s obviously more to it than that, but it makes us feel like we’re still at the kids table lol
Agreed. I turn 28 next month and even though I am loving where my career is going I have no shot of owning a home in my area or anything like that. And I also just reminisce all the time about being a dumb 21 year old getting high in the woods with my friends and generally being young and stupid. Not that I still don't feel young, the 2020s have just been a bit jading.
Hate to say it, but I have all of these things in my life. Joy doesn’t come looking for you. You have to take a moment and invite it in. Which admittedly can be hard at times! It takes practice and intentionality in the face of a tsunami of adversity
Millennial here.
I'm a professor and scientist.
You'd think I'm serious right? Well I dunno who the hell put me in charge of things. I eat soup straight out of the can and play video games most weekends. I don't think I'm getting more serious if I haven't by now.
Don't worry about it. If you have an income and are being an independent person, who cares about anything. And even if you don't have an income and are a bit clingy, it should only matter to the people you depend on.
We have our vices; just cuz we do it doesn't make us bad, it's just our intentions and mindset is what makes Drugs, drugs, and not Alleviations, or the actual literal medical term, stimulants.
Give it a few more years. Comes pretty naturally if you let it and just do the things instead of worrying how people will perceive the things.
It was a relief when I stopped caring that I was a goofball in a serious career. People seem to at least tolerate it and sometimes appreciate it.
I wouldn’t say eating from soup cans and playing video games makes you unserious. If you’re a professor then you’re probably quite serious about your work (doubly so if you’re tenure-track).
My colleagues say my personality is unserious. They say I'm not respectable.
My point is I get work done despite having an air of unseriousness. Yes I worked hard to be here, but in a fun way most people in my field aren't used to. Yes, I make sure the details are good, after having a blast getting to the picky part.
What does unserious mean anyway??? That's the point. Be responsible, but you don't have to be austere.
(late 40s F) The whole adulthood landscape has changed. You aren't going to meet the same "markers of adulthood" as every generation that went before you. It was bound to happen, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with.
Do people really need to do the college/wedding/house/kid/retirement/whatever things in order to be a successful/serious/normal adult? Almost a rhetorical question. Those things are arbitrary and largely based in wealth. They're meaningless. But, yeah, it's still a way to judge and categorize people.
From here, I'm not sure what to say. I just want to validate that it's all capitalist bullshit and you're ok not being a Serious Adult, especially because it's a meaningless construct. You can choose to distance yourself from those judgments and you can define your own milestones based on what's important to you.
Seriousness is overrated, anyway.
Idk, I feel like a serious adult.
There isn’t a criteria but I feel like most people around me and my age feel like they are serious adults too.
What do you feel is holding you back specifically?
Idk. Maybe its that I still haven't moved out and am still finishing studies (don't judge me, stuff happened). But that aside I just generally lack...confidence...don't judge
Just keep doing you and own it!! It’s perfectly fine where you’re at. This is your life and your path and you ARE serious. You’re focusing on school and spending time with parents. I WISH I still saw my folks day to day. There are pros and cons tho. The grass is always greener. Basically OWN your life and work towards changing your life if you want it to change!
Do you think this could stem from wanting to move out and wanting to graduate? It sounds like you’re doing whatever you need to to get your studies done. Do you have a job to pay for rent and/or have you looked at apartments? Part of this could just be desiring to grow in certain ways and being unable or not having the time and resources or simply just not having started yet. Just speculation and random advice
The things that have caused people around me to take me seriously:
1. Develop expertise/competence in your role.
2. Communicate the useful parts of your work to people who could benefit.
If you do those two things, you'll be both invited to the "adults table" and to participate.
I've known a lot of people who are older than me that have more of (1) than me but are awful at (2) and get stuck in low-end positions.
I’m not sure what serious person exactly means but I’ll lyk that I always feel TOO serious and am always trying to lighten up. I’ve made progress on that too. It’s OK to be one way and have one personality but everyone ought to recognize that one way we learn and grow our entire lives is through being mindful of our personalities and emotions, and practicing changing them, try to be certain ways that you aren’t naturally like if youre too serious or not serious enough and want to try to be a bit more like the other side of that. or practicing feeling more or feeling less of certain emotions. It’s a lot of fun exploring and enjoying yourself in this way and it is *growth*.
It's dependant on everyone's perspective, but the most important one; forced to grow up, and using 'Drugs' to ope, mainly due to the 'Mass Hysteria' caused by the 'Pandemic' which forced the 'Government' to 'Lockdown'
And that people we were our true ages again, because we had no 'Worries', so we were able to sleep, or do work when we wanted, because we were united for a brief second, the because of that, we used Drugs, Sex, People, Food, Love, etc etc
And when they stopped meeting our needs, we leave, Ghost; because that is our 'Morality' because we want to save us from being 'Vulnerable'
I think the idea of a serious person, or someone who considers themselves very 'seriously'/self importantly, is inherently absurd. Humanity isn't some kind of higher being like some of us would like to believe, and our hierarchy as human beings is ultimately meaningless. At the end of the day, all known life is the same.. residents of this exceedingly strange yet infinitely beautiful space rock we call home.
I think it’s important to remember that everyone is just in a perpetual process of fucking around and finding out. I’m 24 but I’ve got a degree, a mortgage, a stable career, and an ex wife and I still wake up every day feeling like I have no clue what I’m doing. I like to spend all my time watching dragon ball z and eating ice cream for breakfast just as much as I did when I was 5 years old. I mean shit, I used “fuck around and find out” unironically in this very post. Life’s stupid and chaotic, just have fun.
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Born to dilly dally, forced to lock in
Unless we open our eyes, and take that baby step.
I felt this in my soul
I get you. I’m the same age as you and I often wonder the same thing. I think it’s because of things like most of us not getting to own a home, have kids, or travel as much as older generations are able to. There’s obviously more to it than that, but it makes us feel like we’re still at the kids table lol
Agreed. I turn 28 next month and even though I am loving where my career is going I have no shot of owning a home in my area or anything like that. And I also just reminisce all the time about being a dumb 21 year old getting high in the woods with my friends and generally being young and stupid. Not that I still don't feel young, the 2020s have just been a bit jading.
The fun part of life is not being too serious (65F)
That's how you live Vs. Others unable to die, due to their worries; kids, family, pets, kins, neighbors, enemies, countries, etc
Hate to say it, but I have all of these things in my life. Joy doesn’t come looking for you. You have to take a moment and invite it in. Which admittedly can be hard at times! It takes practice and intentionality in the face of a tsunami of adversity
Millennial here. I'm a professor and scientist. You'd think I'm serious right? Well I dunno who the hell put me in charge of things. I eat soup straight out of the can and play video games most weekends. I don't think I'm getting more serious if I haven't by now. Don't worry about it. If you have an income and are being an independent person, who cares about anything. And even if you don't have an income and are a bit clingy, it should only matter to the people you depend on.
Best answer !
We have our vices; just cuz we do it doesn't make us bad, it's just our intentions and mindset is what makes Drugs, drugs, and not Alleviations, or the actual literal medical term, stimulants.
Love the IDGAF confidence
Give it a few more years. Comes pretty naturally if you let it and just do the things instead of worrying how people will perceive the things. It was a relief when I stopped caring that I was a goofball in a serious career. People seem to at least tolerate it and sometimes appreciate it.
I wouldn’t say eating from soup cans and playing video games makes you unserious. If you’re a professor then you’re probably quite serious about your work (doubly so if you’re tenure-track).
My colleagues say my personality is unserious. They say I'm not respectable. My point is I get work done despite having an air of unseriousness. Yes I worked hard to be here, but in a fun way most people in my field aren't used to. Yes, I make sure the details are good, after having a blast getting to the picky part. What does unserious mean anyway??? That's the point. Be responsible, but you don't have to be austere.
I don’t really feel like I’m that serious, even though I’d like to be. I’m 29.
Same (Shit life + shit mind set ) * Shit guidance↑Bystander effect = Us
(late 40s F) The whole adulthood landscape has changed. You aren't going to meet the same "markers of adulthood" as every generation that went before you. It was bound to happen, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with. Do people really need to do the college/wedding/house/kid/retirement/whatever things in order to be a successful/serious/normal adult? Almost a rhetorical question. Those things are arbitrary and largely based in wealth. They're meaningless. But, yeah, it's still a way to judge and categorize people. From here, I'm not sure what to say. I just want to validate that it's all capitalist bullshit and you're ok not being a Serious Adult, especially because it's a meaningless construct. You can choose to distance yourself from those judgments and you can define your own milestones based on what's important to you. Seriousness is overrated, anyway.
Idk, I feel like a serious adult. There isn’t a criteria but I feel like most people around me and my age feel like they are serious adults too. What do you feel is holding you back specifically?
Idk. Maybe its that I still haven't moved out and am still finishing studies (don't judge me, stuff happened). But that aside I just generally lack...confidence...don't judge
Just keep doing you and own it!! It’s perfectly fine where you’re at. This is your life and your path and you ARE serious. You’re focusing on school and spending time with parents. I WISH I still saw my folks day to day. There are pros and cons tho. The grass is always greener. Basically OWN your life and work towards changing your life if you want it to change! Do you think this could stem from wanting to move out and wanting to graduate? It sounds like you’re doing whatever you need to to get your studies done. Do you have a job to pay for rent and/or have you looked at apartments? Part of this could just be desiring to grow in certain ways and being unable or not having the time and resources or simply just not having started yet. Just speculation and random advice
What job do you do?
I work in a lab doing research
Lmao .. I am never that serious.. seriously . Nahh but fr tho I’m more like a literally person than serious one 🤷🏻♀️
I wish I was less serious, but I always feel on edge around other people
“Life is too important to take seriously” -Oscar Wilde
The things that have caused people around me to take me seriously: 1. Develop expertise/competence in your role. 2. Communicate the useful parts of your work to people who could benefit. If you do those two things, you'll be both invited to the "adults table" and to participate. I've known a lot of people who are older than me that have more of (1) than me but are awful at (2) and get stuck in low-end positions.
I’m not sure what serious person exactly means but I’ll lyk that I always feel TOO serious and am always trying to lighten up. I’ve made progress on that too. It’s OK to be one way and have one personality but everyone ought to recognize that one way we learn and grow our entire lives is through being mindful of our personalities and emotions, and practicing changing them, try to be certain ways that you aren’t naturally like if youre too serious or not serious enough and want to try to be a bit more like the other side of that. or practicing feeling more or feeling less of certain emotions. It’s a lot of fun exploring and enjoying yourself in this way and it is *growth*.
Serious in what way? Like serious as in good with responsibility or the opposite of a silly person?
Serious as in a serious adult
Boring.
Don't be a serious adult, that's boring af
What does that look like though? See this is very subjective 😅
I gave up being a serious person a long time ago
Definitely not serious. I'm more the "Mr. Bean making weird faces in the mirror when no one is looking" type
It's dependant on everyone's perspective, but the most important one; forced to grow up, and using 'Drugs' to ope, mainly due to the 'Mass Hysteria' caused by the 'Pandemic' which forced the 'Government' to 'Lockdown' And that people we were our true ages again, because we had no 'Worries', so we were able to sleep, or do work when we wanted, because we were united for a brief second, the because of that, we used Drugs, Sex, People, Food, Love, etc etc And when they stopped meeting our needs, we leave, Ghost; because that is our 'Morality' because we want to save us from being 'Vulnerable'
You're probably another anonymous piece of matter of the nameless masses.Read Dostoyevsky's "The Underground Man."
Yeah I’m worried I’ll end up as the “woman-child” trope and not the good kind that evolves in their own way or has a cool artsy career.
There's actually a great movie with Keira Knightly about a woman in her early 30s kind of being "stuck" in life. Its called Laggies.
God I love Keira Knightley I’ll def check it out.
I also like Bridesmaids & Frances Ha which are very different lol but are kinda under that umbrella.
King of Staten Island, Big Time Adolescence are good too (both Pete Davidson movies, he should have his own genere category)
Yeah people in their twenties now are way different than people in their twenties from decades ago
I am not serious at all. In every situation i find ways to have fun and fuck around
Who wants to be serious? If you’re serious that means you’re worried about something. I’d much rather be unserious and lighthearted.
Depends on what you means by "serious"
I didn't really feel like a serious man until 40 so you're probably fine but if not you should do something about it.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. I have a goofy side and it can be fun sometimes. But being mature also has its needed moments
I think the idea of a serious person, or someone who considers themselves very 'seriously'/self importantly, is inherently absurd. Humanity isn't some kind of higher being like some of us would like to believe, and our hierarchy as human beings is ultimately meaningless. At the end of the day, all known life is the same.. residents of this exceedingly strange yet infinitely beautiful space rock we call home.
Very few people are actually serious. Don't conform.
chew some gum and taste your tongue
I think it’s important to remember that everyone is just in a perpetual process of fucking around and finding out. I’m 24 but I’ve got a degree, a mortgage, a stable career, and an ex wife and I still wake up every day feeling like I have no clue what I’m doing. I like to spend all my time watching dragon ball z and eating ice cream for breakfast just as much as I did when I was 5 years old. I mean shit, I used “fuck around and find out” unironically in this very post. Life’s stupid and chaotic, just have fun.
If I had anex wife at 24 I'd be eating ice cream for breakfast too
Serious people will alienate everyone in their life, have terrible priorities, and have a sparcely attended funeral and call it a win so maybe don't
Do some serious shit. Join the military.