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sunmal

Neuvillete and Ei destroys everyone so bad is not even funny


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^sunmal: *Neuvillete and Ei* *Destroys everyone so bad* *Is not even funny* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


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Apoiforia

Yes


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Good bot


Jittercat

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Mobile-Database6601

Good bot


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Apoiforia

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Rage_ZA

good bot


Suspicious-Tank4337

ei can also keep you in the euthymia


Practical_Praline_39

Just like nord vpn


Reasonable-Issue3275

This comment sponsored by Narukami Ogosho


keksmuzh

Use code *MusouNoHitotachi* for 20% off a 2 year subscription!


iSpooKy123

Of you don't pick Furina, Neuvi either won't kill her or will fight Raiden tho...


Dejavir

Solution to the Furina problem: “I’ll give you a month’s supply of macaroni to fuck off. I’ll even throw in a cake.”


goodnightliyue

"I will teach you how to bake an excellent chocolate cake."


sleeplessinvaginate

Macaroni is funny at


Welsh_cat_Best_cat

Ok, but Furina is the one trying to kill you, not the other way around. And Neuvi can just tell her to go home and she will.


sunmal

Yoh got it upside down. Neither Neu or Ei will have to fight Furina. They will just tell her to step away and she will lol


Nightmare007007

We can stay in plane of euthymia too


DL25FE

I would not underestimate Zhongli


Murky_Blueberry2617

Ei and Neuvillette are stronger tho


F1T_13

According to what. Neuvillette has no feats. Ei can be stronger than Zhongli recently because she's getting more powerful and Zhongli stepped down but he is still working to preserve his strength and get stronger. Neuvillette couldn't take on the whale alone without getting help from Traveler and even then, we don't know how the whale compares to an archon of Zhongli or Ei's calibre.


Jfunkindahouse

That was my choice as well.


ugandaWarrior134

You will die to a zhongli meteor before you realize the fight has even started.


sunmal

Brother Zhongli meteor gets easily cut in pieces by ei while i just chill inside her personal dimension


LoneWolfRHV

Nah zhongli can handle ei, and furina will make neuvilette change sides lol


Free_Relationship692

Nuevi and Zhongli. Ei and ZL will go 1 on 1. Neuvi handles the rest.


Alvinite

ZL used SOLIDIFY against Ei It's super effective


Cyanbite_24

I hate that I understand the reference


AvgG4m3Enj0y3r

Divided by Nations, United by Thoughts


SpiderRadio

why are we all like this at least it's Ei and not one of the younger models some freaks flash around


Reasonable-Issue3275

Spare me the reference o great sage


21bleh

Only right answer


foxwaffles

As long as my two boys don't start a cat fight with each other I'd pick them too. And very politely beg them to set their differences aside to protect me 😆


RichSurround1973

It does make sense, if the rest are coming for you, you need at least 1 with good shields to hold you safe while your dps fighting the rest.


FahmyAnuar

I think you'll be dead because they're gonna be fighting each other instead of protecting you 😭


Critical_Concert_689

Samesies. Zhongli just sits with me creating invincible rock shields nonstop, while Neuvi handles everyone else.


Sam_Campos21

Klee will kill me before the enemy


Jakes_JunioR

"Big bro, Klee is gonna protect you so can you hold this for a sec" "Alright little Klee, but what is i-" 💥


LaughinKooka

Totally worth it (?)


magli_mi

Lmao. Canon


Sylvanussr

No, it’s spelled *cannon*.


snk226

BOOM BOOM BAKUDAN ! 💥


fullblue_k

Klee is the best shield. They surely won't make her cry, right?


LaughinKooka

I guess Furina might be mean enough


_simpu

Every being in teyvat fear the wrath of her mom


MissCuteCath

Raiden probably would turn her to coal without blinking, maybe Ei would be guilty after but the Shogun would say something like "Must protect this person at all costs, STFU Ei"


Seraf-Wang

Ei and Neuvillette easily. Zhongli may be a great fighter but he’s hundreds of years in retirement since while Ei has maintained her fighting body since 500 years ago. Neuvillette is self explanatory. Everyone else either mediocre in the story in comparison or have no notable feats that outclasses what they have done in canon already.


electrorazor

Yes but zhongli has a shield.


Seraf-Wang

Imo best defense is a good offense.


24K_AP_Magic

Just like Maple from Bofuri


Cermia_Revolution

Not when it's 2v7 in a protection mission. It's impossible for 2 attacks to output enough pressure to defend a weak ass chode from 7 attackers. Not to mention, Zhongli can always stall anyone else for a few seconds at minimum because of his burst, so if you don't choose Zhongli, it'll momentarily be a 1v6 in the best case scenario for a few seconds, which no one can defend against.


ghhostr

a single cut from Ei destroys it


Suspicious-Tank4337

but does he have the plane of euthymia?


New_Nature220

Zhongli does have some power over space and dimension. He gave the adepti the power to create sub spaces. It seems he was also able to easily break into the chaotic space that was unbreakable during Perilous Trail and saved the group.


Virtual_Reward9140

He ain't 'hundreds of years in retirement'. People don't pay attention to his lore.


F1T_13

No, he wasn't. He's a few years at best into retirement and is still a practitioner of adeptal arts, so he's not getting weaker like people think anymore. He legit says in his ascension lines that he's gaining strength.


MetalMike101

Venti hiding something trust me


DexDexDexina

He truly is the Archon of Sus.


MetalMike101

THIS^


bigcakeindahouse

i am hoping he pops up soon and we learn more about him


MetalMike101

SAME.


MadaPuka

He hears everything in teyvat and is also pretty damn strong (even if he says hes the "weakest" archon). If hes dead set on killing then you can say goodbye to having even a single moment of rest


Bebgab

~~yeah he’s packing~~


RobertoAN95

zhongli and neuvi! The fuck the rest are gonna do about it?


magli_mi

You get it


Boring-Patient-1802

Zhongli, with that shield let the others try and come for me. And Father to take care of the enemies for me Edit: Going to replace Father with Neuvilette, he will for sure take care of all the enemies …though having him and Zhongli working together might be a risk


King1Joker

I think she won’t take care of nuev


strawwwwwwwwberry

What’s Ganyu doing there


Dense-Decision9150

Better question what is furina doing here 😭


Phantoms_Unseen

Fr. Ganyu has at least fought against lesser Gods before, but even when Furina was still the Archon she had no combat ability. Now, she's literally just a human with silly hydro pets


whataremyxomycetes

Madamoiselle crabalette get his balls!!!


Phantoms_Unseen

https://preview.redd.it/zopfuakh9z8d1.png?width=256&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28d43b0a1e592bfdbb242e6d38d94c0ad9aeaffa


strawwwwwwwwberry

They can do Their Best!


Cerberus-Tan

At least they can do chores


sova_902

way better question what is Klee doing here 😭😭


strawwwwwwwwberry

I forgor the archon quest


per4atka

she is


HalalBread1427

I pick HIMjax and ArlHERcchino. The PEAKtui GOATbingers clear all.


SoggyStyle001

You know you are in the wrong place of the internet


HalalBread1427

The Agenda… is eternal.


Western-Age9961

Maintain the Agenda wherever you go, Simp of The Tsaritsa


rattist

Dont come back when Herlecchino's fire destroys all of Irminsul. Dont come back Himjax tames the all devouring Narwhal and conquers Surtalogi's legacy. Stay on that side.


Davicho2008

Preach child of Her Majesty the Tsaritsa 🙏


Player9937

SPEAK YO SHIT COMRADE 🗣️🔥(in a good way)


Dense-Decision9150

https://preview.redd.it/kw3803nx3u8d1.jpeg?width=319&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e2201e1da12c607a32d4336edc5adc8ac1c192d real!! GOATbingers and the HERitsa solo all!!!


Trollolo80

I knew I'd find a comrade with HIMjax and GOATlecchino being in the post. One of us!


ResurgentClusterfuck

Comrade that is fine naku weed you're smoking Back to the HQ with ya


StrangurDangur

https://preview.redd.it/cbd0fgqqax8d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=340e09525ce874f553b0b5b0f89857232008ca78


soulinhibition

i had a stroke reading this


naarcx

It’s super safe to put HIMjax on the other team though, because he wont even want to fight us since we’re just a bunch of bums and frauds


ThatFluffyThing

I’ll choose father and the Iudex. I like Fontaine and l like the harbinger. Now I can’t say how good I’ll be protected but I know the Knave could beat Tartagalicious ass.


orangevanillaco

i picked the same ones if you want a harbinger you have to pick arle if you have other people call you father you automatically win


bunny_the-2d_simp

I'd take that chance aswell


TMT51

Lore wise, it's an obvious choice between 3 people: hydro dragon, ei or Mr no money. Hey are literal gods. They just got heavily nerfed in-game to balance gameplay. Even the harbingers are no match for them.


magli_mi

**PROTECT** Zhongli, immediately. Shields my squishy self up, keeps me safe from sneak attacks and guards me like a hawk. Maybe even throws the occasional meatball at the enemies. Then Neuvillette. Hydro sovereign destroys all threats before Zhongli even needs to reapply shield. We'd be done and chilling with our fave drinks in no time. This combi can not lose!


Suspicious-Comfort80

Zhongli and Ei literal shield and sword


ghhostr

in fact, double shield 🤓


MissCuteCath

Zhongli can also do a funny thing called meteor showering continents and creating islands because of it. So people would be having to dodge lightning and meteors 24/7, but then where exactly can you hide from the god of lands, this duo is the master of earth and sky so instead of chasing you, the remaining people would have to reach the ocean ASAP and go out of the reach from these two.


SeparateDeer3760

If we're getting lore accurate characters then I'm choosing Zhongli and Neuvillette. Zhongli ate gods for breakfast and is still probably one of the most powerful and mysterious characters out there. Neuvillette is self explanatory, hydro dragon.


Felgrand3189

Neuvillette and Ei


Olivia_Lydia_Wilson

I say Neuvillette and Arlecchino. I mean Arlecchino won't be of much help, I just thought it'd be funny that Furina won't even attempt to come close with Arlecchino in the area. Realistically? Ei hasn't faced much erosion as opposed to Zhongli, and Neuvillette is the strongest here.


WarMage1

Choosing to die for the joke of bringing up furina’s trauma is probably a good trade


AdorableAd325

Zhongli and Neuvillete. They may not be a fan of having to working together but it’ll be fine I’m sure.


Thatcrazyscotsman

Klee will blow they all up


mileytrixie16

Including us lmao


Status_Country_5514

Zhongli and neuv not even close


belmoria

Zhongli and Childe. Not for shipping reasons, Zhongli best shield, incredibly powerful god, Childe never backs down and commits miraculous feats to protect people already. He landed a hit on Neuv before lol


suqcrtears

i choose to have tartagalia destroy me alone in a room


rattist

Based


Nightmare007007

Neuvilette and Raiden. I can stay in plane of euthymia while they kill the rest of them.


TrueAvalon

Ei has unironically better protection than Zhongli cause she can just pull you into the Plane of Euthymia lol.


Virtual_Reward9140

Zhongli and sub space creation....


Infinite_Compote_659

Neuvillette and raiden or arlecchino


MasterHanzo_

Zhong li and raiden


Apprehensive-Face900

Neuvillette and Ei obv 💀


TAcit19

Nuevi and Childe


SonicMutant743

You mean Gameplay wise or lore wise? Lorewise, I go Neuvi and Raiden Gameplay wise, Neuvi and Arle


New_Difficulty_4942

Zhongli and EI The Warrior archon of today And the Warrior archon of history


Punishingpeakraven

you might as well have put goku and vegeta and then 7 crying toddlers arleHERno and HIMJAX and it aint even a contest


RipRup01

I'd pick zhongli and venti. Shield so thicc they can never scrape me, and venti can just send them flying in his black hole tornado when they get close 👍


shellsterxxx

Ei and Neuv. Ones a primordial dragon and the other killed everything she saw as a threat which included a serpent god.


Foreign_Kale8773

Depends - we getting playable Childe or full Childe? Because if I'm getting all 3 versions, it's him and Neuvi for sure.


RaiderTheLegend

Finally, someone who understands that Foul legacy is just a different beast 🤝


Foreign_Kale8773

FRFR - like, in my heart of hearts I knew they couldn't possibly give me all of him as a playable character, but I didn't realize it would hurt so much to be so... DIMINISHED.


RaiderTheLegend

Childe and Arlechinno solo. Zhongli is a 2 Elements Traveler victim. Laiden is a 3 Elements traveler victim. Childe thought a whale that would’ve killed both Zhonglee and laiden. https://preview.redd.it/nt8n2b37lx8d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5930c87a9ceca3c3f612af90bfcbf44f86ca9671 He’s just better.


independentgladalt

HIMjax solos


JakeDonut11

Can we add Wriothesly to Destroy m--I mean for no apparent reason hehe


ladyjinxy

Zhongli, because stun is always good *insert Matu's Void got diabled for almost 20 seconds* And Neuvillette, because he is Neuvillette *insert fy's Phoenix*


DaddyJess99

Neuvillette and Neuvillette....


Adrizzy_90

Zhongli and Nuevellete and it’s not even close…


Thederpycloudrider

I'd go with Raiden and Klee (or Cocogoat if Klee isn't available atm)


hyunjnwtf

Hydrodaddy and Geodaddy 💯


A_Leafy

Klee and Ganyu, because living is really hard these days so why bother?


TheEnigmaB25

Just Klee


ResurgentClusterfuck

Neuvillette and Ei


pppylonnn

Neuvillete and Ei for raw power, considering Zhongli though in case they sneak/run past them and one shot me his shield will proteccc. Not sure who I'd pair with Zhongli as Ei is superior combat experience but Neuvillete is raw power above all of these people right now canonically, not sure about his fighting and protective prowess in the heat of battle though.


kingpin32614

Lorewise, ZhongDong and Ei. Gameplay Neuv and Father.


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AccomplishedRub7141

If Klee makes a minefield…


magli_mi

You know, with enough prep time Klee may be able to protect/destroy you no matter who you choose


E1lySym

Do we get to choose their playable versions or everything they can offer lore wise


VedrfolnirsVision

the fact that Neuvillette still solos, bruh ☠️


CakeSauc3

If I pick Furina and Neuvi can we make it another entertaining court case or does it have to be a battle to the death If I'm gonna go out I might as well make it content for everyone


RebellionSP1

Kleechi and Furryna


Green_Cry_6746

Me and Klee against the world 😭😭😭


Stormtracker345

So to start with ZL EI Father Mr worldwide and Nuev are the only ones all in the same weight class so the rest are out of the running on rip and might even get taken out as collateral Next I think tartaglia is definitely out next and father aswell although she's definitely after poptart I font think she can 1v1 the archons Now we get to the hard part with ZL ei and Nuev I think any combo of these 3 could win bit I think EI is most important either way since she's the most offensive so would be the most likely to mess up your day if she was on the other team since ZL=neuv more oc less while I think Raiden might be able to get a 1up and take you out


HawkerHawk1372

The correct answer is Neuvilette and Furina. Because Neuvilette will work twice as hard to keep the both of you safe.


Cuongmuado

ok why tf klee is in this list, she just can't protect anyone


Eastern_Nose_3882

I choose lightning woman and dragon Boi


dankweabooo

Zhongli and the Shogun


orangevanillaco

i want to choose the archons so bad but neuvillette and arlecchino are in the same pic i feel like those two are absolute UNITS canonically


huehuezzz

Ganyu can keep an eye on Klee. I want everyone else to destroy me


lordbikki

I’d trust zhongli with not only my life but also all my loved ones


Swimming_Ad3091

Arlecchino and Furina


DogMatter04

*Let them all come.*


BliteInsignia

Gotta be neuv and ei.


LuvJaee

Ei and Zhongli. just them.


Mother_Economics1138

We all know we only need The Knave


redjarvas

Im gonna gambit on the fact that in a few years from now they are going to reveal that venti was secretly like the strongest archon or at least very powerful because i dont believe for even a second that bullshit he said about him being the weakest so im going with neuvi & venti


TheVoid000

The 4th and The Puppet


Extreme_Frosting01

Neuvillette and Klee! Neuvillette can just bloodbend everyone's blood out of their bodies! And Klee's mom is literally friends with people that can defy the laws of reality, like hello?


Enough_Ad2500

Ei and Neu, ezy.


Pretend_Champion_142

The best bets would be Ei and Neuvillette. Ei can bypass shields as shown in her final calamity move. She has speed, attack power, shielding capabilities, teleportation, etc. Neuvillette is still somewhat unknown, but he's strong enough as a sovereign


Virtual_Reward9140

It's a game mechanic. Scaras weekly boss also does it.


dosisdeartes

Zhongli and Raiden and fuck it if I die I’ll die happy with them


Humancrisis

Its either Neuvillette and Zhongli, or Klee and Tartaglia


Quarantined_box99

If you pick Klee, you automatically get Alice.


AurumTyst

Assuming C0 for everyone, Neuvillete needs Zhongli to provide a backbrace or he gets stunlocked.


_AmaShigure_

Make no mistake that a Red Girl with a handful of granata looks innocent but it's not. Pick her.


SaltedSnailSurviving

Arlecchino and Neuvillette. Both are incredibly powerful, and I think Arlecchino's skillset would be well suited to hiding me. It doesn't matter how powerful everyone else is if they can't find me to begin with.


DarkDemonDan

Ei and arle Mother and father will keep me safe.


MrReZistar

Ei is the mandatory choice; second would probably go to either Zhongli or Neuvillette. Ei is by far the LAST person on this list you'd want after your head. Like imagine picking Zhongli thinking "Nah, I'd survive" because of his shield only to get bisected like Go/jo from an island level cleave.


verniy314

Neuvillette and Ei. Added bonus, Neuvillette would just neutralize Furina without hurting her.


ImmoralDuckHands

I choose.... Neuvi nd Father. They will protect me 🏳🏳


BroadsideGn001

Kratos


rattist

Childe idc if he is not the strongest i only need him


thetavious

Protect? Jfc. If you pick klee and furina that fight would be so lopsided it'd be like they were the hunters.


AlexKeal

Klee and Venti, I am dying regardless so I might as well enjoy my last moments with some cheerful and fun people.


Rxplix

Klee and raiden. Based on the lore i currently know, klee can nuke them c:


defenem_73

Klee and Childe for Child Labor


itsPyrrus

It's a toss-up between Klee and Venti, or Klee and Furina. I don't want to see them die.


SelectBumblebee70

Zhongli + Ei


Vendetta1947

Raiden and Zhongli Then, basically Rex Lapis summons all of the adepti to protect me. Similarly for raiden, all of inazuma is my body guard....


GiraffeMain1253

Zhongli and Arlecchino, they're a fantastic duo AND I'd be terrified to get on their bad sides


Still_Breadfruit2032

Ei and Neuvillette or arlecchino


Yoshi_chuck05

1st attempt: Father and Zhongli. 2nd: Ei and Klee 3rd: Nevilulette and Ganyu


ggspring47

arlecchino and ei 100%. ei's reasoning is obvious but arlecchino is just my fav so im biased and wouldnt want her against me for that reason lol


3some969

Zhongli and Neuvillite. I want to pick Father too, but I think she will simply fake kill me and close the hunt.


Contrenox

Neuvilette and Zhongli. Advance 500 to 1000 years and I might actually pick Klee, my headcanon is that she has lots and lots of potential.


BarbaraTwiGod

neuvillette solo all