“Sweetie's father was a very poor man, so poor that Sweetie and her four siblings all had to sleep in a hollowed-out tree trunk because the house was only big enough for their parents. One winter, there was no food, so Sweetie crawled out of her trunk, wrapped her feet in newspaper, and walked forty miles in the snow to the nearest town, where she stumbled into a candy store. The owner took pity on her and gave her bags of candy, a dill pickle, and drove her back to her family. He promptly offered a job to her father, who gladly accepted and eventually owned that store and turned it into one of the most important candy emporiums in the world. And that is how she got the name Sweetie.”
One of my faves that havent been mentioned yet…. When she gets pulled over for talking on her cell and the cop tries to give her a breathalyzer.. “Young man I dont know where thats been but I can say with absolute certainty it wont be going anywhere near my mouth.”
I also love this scene bc it will end up being the third person Lorelei picks up from jai
“He’s still a playboy you know. Well of course you know! That would explain why your weight goes up and down 30 pounds every other month. But that’s your cross to bear”
Her delivery is flawless!
On therapy 💛😄
Lorelai: Lots of people swear by it.
Emily: Yes, disturbed people, deviants, people with multiple personalities who see things and hear dogs talking to them and roam the streets talking to themselves and licking parking meters!
Haha I love your face one too about the wedding vows.
I’ll add: “I saw her kissing a man in a track suit” and
“spaghetti and meatballs is just too much excitement”
Lorelai: "You're not seriously sitting there?"
Emily: "No, it's a hologram. Lifelike, isn't it?"
And
"Small-town charm is good for a weekend, Lorelai, but I have no interest in having a next-door neighbor walk in with a pie, wanting to chat. I would kill myself AND my neighbors."
I will forever say this line either about myself or about someone who that I dislike. There’s no need to make funeral plans for me. Seriously, just throw me in a ditch because who cares and save money.
Side note, HOW do we get word to ASP that we desperately want an Emily Gilmore prequel! I’ll settle for single season mini-series, but we need it! Her as a teenager and how she met Richard and such. I want more of a back story!
There's really not and I feel like there's no actresses today that could even come close to Emily's mannerisms, wit, and snobbery and it come across the way she did it. It would just be annoying and corny 😭
“LORELEI, there’s nothing funny about being a lesbian!”
I don’t know why but I lol’d so hard the first time I heard it and I repeat it out loud at least once a day
Emily: Oh, wait. Rudolph Gotfried
Lorelai: another cousin?
Emily: No, a Nazi that we knew that I’d forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories.
“Beatrice, do you know what these are? Fragrant lilies. Would you like to eat dinner with fragrant lilies in the room?”
”Yes!”
”WELL THEN YOU’RE INSANE!”
Does drunk Emily count? "Personally, I think we just toss some cheese cubes in the coffin, stuff some toothpicks in her mouth, and let the people go to town."
Emily: You have the word Juicy on your rear end.
Lorelai: If I had known you were coming over I would've changed.
Emily: Into what, a brassiere with the word Tasty?
Almost everything she said to Lorelei after her eye surgery in Season 6–
(Regarding her nurse) “They’ll do a 60 minutes special on her one day. Mark my words!”
(Regarding her driver) “Have you met the cab drivers in Prague? Even they would hide their wallets from that man…plus I think he had a gun.”
(Regarding her rented SUV) “The windows are bulletproof. They kept saying that as if it's a selling point. I told them I was not paying extra for bulletproof windows. I haven't been strafed in years. “
The Farthingtons' dogs are apoplectic.
Ridiculous choice of animal—a vicious 3-inch ball of hair and a bow—a ridiculous pink bow for the vicious killers.
"Oh, watch out! Cecil Beaton and the Duke of Windsor are headed straight for my shoes!"
* [Emily](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0084105/?ref_=ttqu_qu): Now let's talk about your money. You were a two-bit gold-digger fresh off the bus from Hicksville when you met Mitchum at whatever bar you happened to stumble into. And what made Mitchum decide to chose you to marry amongst the pack of women he was bedding at the time I'll never know. But hats off to you for bagging him. He's still a playboy you know. Well of course you know! That would explain why your weight goes up and down thirty pounds every other month. But that's your cross to bear. But these are ugly realities, no one needs to talk about them. Those kids are staying together for as long as they like. You won't stop them... Now enjoy the event!
I just rewatched the episode where she learns her mother in law did not want her to marry Richard. I died seeing her in a robe drinking and smoking. It was great to see relaxing Emily.
“Goodbye GG. Enjoy your program.” Immediately after arguably the most obviously evil and directly sabotaging thing she does the entire series. And it’s Teletubbies
“Sweetie's father was a very poor man, so poor that Sweetie and her four siblings all had to sleep in a hollowed-out tree trunk because the house was only big enough for their parents. One winter, there was no food, so Sweetie crawled out of her trunk, wrapped her feet in newspaper, and walked forty miles in the snow to the nearest town, where she stumbled into a candy store. The owner took pity on her and gave her bags of candy, a dill pickle, and drove her back to her family. He promptly offered a job to her father, who gladly accepted and eventually owned that store and turned it into one of the most important candy emporiums in the world. And that is how she got the name Sweetie.”
There. How was that?
Ah yes the most important part 😂
I can hear her voice.😂
I rewatched this so many times, favorite part of the entire show 🤣🤣 just the ridiculousness of the story and her tone and expression…amazing
"Well then buy me a boa and take me to Reno because I am OPEN FOR BUSINESS"
“Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch!” Omg that entire segment.
Emily climbing out the window is def in my top 10 funniest moments!
And she lost her skirt and was like “oh, hey…” to the security lol I always die.
Aunt Cora was not mentally ill she was athletic!
Lololol. So many things back in their day due to “athleticism” god this was so funny.
Best. Line. Ever.
This is truly the best one, but she has so many good lines.
One of my faves that havent been mentioned yet…. When she gets pulled over for talking on her cell and the cop tries to give her a breathalyzer.. “Young man I dont know where thats been but I can say with absolute certainty it wont be going anywhere near my mouth.” I also love this scene bc it will end up being the third person Lorelei picks up from jai
Pardon the fact I have only watched it twice and one was the original airing, but who was the third person? I only remember Emily and Rory.
She picks up Luke I think, when he trashed the guys car!
Luke when he beats up the car 🤣
I think about that part all the time 🤣
I LOVE the way she delivers that line!!!
Hold on, I'm looking up aneurysm in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.
"It's late. I have a big day tomorrow." "What, you're going to a raccoon's wedding?"
“At least she had a husband to kill.” 😂
This one always gets me. It’s quick and unexpected 😂
That was a great one! 🤣
Love this one
“You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs, gathering dust, along with the rest of her potential.”
Entire Shira Huntzberger speech. Fresh off the bus from Hicksville.
“He’s still a playboy you know. Well of course you know! That would explain why your weight goes up and down 30 pounds every other month. But that’s your cross to bear” Her delivery is flawless!
Cross to bear lololol.
One of her best scenes!
This one is extra good because she’s virulently defending Rory. 50% love for granddaughter + 50% sass = perfection.
It is perfect for sure.
And then later "I only wish I had remembered to call her a cocktail waitress"! 😆
Haha and Richard is like YES lol too funny.
It's too good
Hats off you to for bagging him. He still plays around, you know. lol I have memorized but not in order.
When a woman gives birth to a crack baby you don’t buy her a puppy.
This makes me laugh every time. I know it’s so un-PC, but so is Emily
Same.
I tried to make this my senior quote in high school but they wouldn’t let me 🥲 still one of my most quoted lines
"Would you like another BEER Luke?"
Nitwit Juice 😂
Also her expression, oh my god.
Goodbye, Gigi. Enjoy your program.
On therapy 💛😄 Lorelai: Lots of people swear by it. Emily: Yes, disturbed people, deviants, people with multiple personalities who see things and hear dogs talking to them and roam the streets talking to themselves and licking parking meters!
'licking parking meters' kills me😭😭😭😭
“Remember to thank Pennilynn Lott just for being Pennilynn 🧊Lott 🧊!”
Haha I love your face one too about the wedding vows. I’ll add: “I saw her kissing a man in a track suit” and “spaghetti and meatballs is just too much excitement”
Lorelai, please don’t joke with the maids. It’s not what they do.
Under the tootsie rolls! That’s gonna bother me
UNDER RATED
“If you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen, you better go and get it the cape.”
“Honestly, Lorelai, it’s not your looks keeping them away”
Lorelai: "You're not seriously sitting there?" Emily: "No, it's a hologram. Lifelike, isn't it?" And "Small-town charm is good for a weekend, Lorelai, but I have no interest in having a next-door neighbor walk in with a pie, wanting to chat. I would kill myself AND my neighbors."
Throw the old harpies carcass in a ditch and let a wolverine eat her
I will forever say this line either about myself or about someone who that I dislike. There’s no need to make funeral plans for me. Seriously, just throw me in a ditch because who cares and save money.
Talking about big rigs when Jess was late to dinner: And apparently, all the men who drive them are hopped up on bennies and goofballs.
Side note, HOW do we get word to ASP that we desperately want an Emily Gilmore prequel! I’ll settle for single season mini-series, but we need it! Her as a teenager and how she met Richard and such. I want more of a back story!
We can't. There is no young version of Kelly Bishop
There's really not and I feel like there's no actresses today that could even come close to Emily's mannerisms, wit, and snobbery and it come across the way she did it. It would just be annoying and corny 😭
Omg yes, please.
"you're pleased that the ice man looked at you like a porterhouse steak"
“I’m smiling because you’re crazy and that’s what you do to crazy people to keep them calm”
cue the classy eyebrow raise
Richard, I need a gimlet!
Stop talking to the dogs, Lorelei!!! For some reason I love that line and that whole exchange,
not rlly a quote but the way she says 'One, one, *quick pause* one, *quick pause* one, one.' gets me
“LORELEI, there’s nothing funny about being a lesbian!” I don’t know why but I lol’d so hard the first time I heard it and I repeat it out loud at least once a day
Emily: Oh, wait. Rudolph Gotfried Lorelai: another cousin? Emily: No, a Nazi that we knew that I’d forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories.
No dear, THAT was a joke. 😂
“Beatrice, do you know what these are? Fragrant lilies. Would you like to eat dinner with fragrant lilies in the room?” ”Yes!” ”WELL THEN YOU’RE INSANE!”
“Her car looks just like Barbie’s!”
With the high-pitched voice at the end, cracks me up every time.
Well it's not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open.
Does drunk Emily count? "Personally, I think we just toss some cheese cubes in the coffin, stuff some toothpicks in her mouth, and let the people go to town."
Totally!🤣
"Well, if I wanted to play ping-pong, I would just kill myself."
Emily: You have the word Juicy on your rear end. Lorelai: If I had known you were coming over I would've changed. Emily: Into what, a brassiere with the word Tasty?
Not necessarily funny but my all time favorite quote of hers happens during her shopping meltdown: EVERTHINGS for sale.
"..... I will take care of it" That whole scene was iconic
One of my top 5 scenes in the show!
“I must be delirious from all that tea I’ve been drinking”. lol I rewatched that moment quite a few times
Well buy me a boa and drive me to Reno because I’m open for business 😅😅
To Lorelai: "At least she had a husband to kill."
Almost everything she said to Lorelei after her eye surgery in Season 6– (Regarding her nurse) “They’ll do a 60 minutes special on her one day. Mark my words!” (Regarding her driver) “Have you met the cab drivers in Prague? Even they would hide their wallets from that man…plus I think he had a gun.” (Regarding her rented SUV) “The windows are bulletproof. They kept saying that as if it's a selling point. I told them I was not paying extra for bulletproof windows. I haven't been strafed in years. “
That episode was hilarious! She was quite the drama queen
Hold on, I’m looking up aneurysm in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.
The Farthingtons' dogs are apoplectic. Ridiculous choice of animal—a vicious 3-inch ball of hair and a bow—a ridiculous pink bow for the vicious killers. "Oh, watch out! Cecil Beaton and the Duke of Windsor are headed straight for my shoes!"
I was going to wait until you called me, but my life isn’t as long as yours.
Really enjoying this post and its comments. Thanks for the laughs OP and everyone commenting 😄
I sometimes forget how truly hysterical she was.
She’s is my favorite character 😆
Same! I forgot how many funny lines she had and her delivery was always so good too
Flair checking in
You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs, gathering dust, with the rest of her potential.
He’s just a man Lorelai
"well if I wanted to play ping pong I would kill myself"
Also "There's nothing funny about being a lesbian" Or "Aunt Cora wasn't mentally ill she was ATHLETIC!!!!"
At least she had a husband to kill.
* [Emily](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0084105/?ref_=ttqu_qu): Now let's talk about your money. You were a two-bit gold-digger fresh off the bus from Hicksville when you met Mitchum at whatever bar you happened to stumble into. And what made Mitchum decide to chose you to marry amongst the pack of women he was bedding at the time I'll never know. But hats off to you for bagging him. He's still a playboy you know. Well of course you know! That would explain why your weight goes up and down thirty pounds every other month. But that's your cross to bear. But these are ugly realities, no one needs to talk about them. Those kids are staying together for as long as they like. You won't stop them... Now enjoy the event!
If a woman gives birth to a crack baby, you do not buy her a puppy!
I didn't know how spoilt you were, Rory. But I guess only children are always spoilt.
I just rewatched the episode where she learns her mother in law did not want her to marry Richard. I died seeing her in a robe drinking and smoking. It was great to see relaxing Emily.
"Because personally, I think we should just toss some cheese cubes in the coffin, stuff some toothpicks in her mouth, and let the people go to town!"
Would you like a…..beer, Luke?
Luke: actually that’s my truck Emily: oh! Well it’s nice… rustic! Also “would you like another *beer*, Luke?
he's just a man lorelai
“Goodbye GG. Enjoy your program.” Immediately after arguably the most obviously evil and directly sabotaging thing she does the entire series. And it’s Teletubbies
No a weasel, of course a man!
You and that rotund ingrate had an agreement.
You go to bed, I'll go to France!
I'm going to do it! I'm climbing out the window!
Aunt Cora was not mentaly ill, she was athletic!