Everyone who ever plays learns to fumble a bit and pick up their spot again without it being obvious. It's a skill as important as anything else you'll learn, and you do it by keeping on going.
What your family will hear isn't you sucking. They'll hear your progress. They'll hear it better than you.
So true. My mom visits a few times a year and a few days ago I was playing and she was in the next room. She commented about how great I sound. Meanwhile, I thought I sounded terrible and not up to par.
She mentioned how much better I got since the last time, which is funny because I’ve been playing for about twenty years now.
That's not necessarily a guitar problem, but an anxiety problem. Many people suffer the same thing, and it's no fun. The best thing may be some kind of counselling or therapy. You can get over it in the same way you can get over a phobia by exposing yourself to it, but it's hard on your own, and you will inevitably make a mistake in public and beat yourself up and it could get worse without support. Just remember, no-one cares about the mistakes you make more than you do, and most people might not even notice because they aren't experiencing your playing at the same level of perception you are. It's all good, everyone has to learn sometime, and the only people who criticise someone with the courage to make themselves vulnerable and overcome their fears aren't worth your time. They're sad and pathetic and jealous.
You just have to push through it. Weirdly, I've always had the same problem but never had an issue performing in front of a crowd. At home? Oh shit, someone might hear me and think I suck! In front of 100 people? LET'S ROCK. Brains are dumb.
Play unplugged to warm yourself up.
Play with headphones, but mind your hearing, it’s not good for you.
Make videos of yourself playing. They will be bad. It will be awkward until you dial in a setup and routine. But keep at it. I find making a video “puts me on the spot”. It was very hard at first. But the more I did it the better things got. I end up feeling like I’m performing for someone, in a way. Then, when I’m in front of actual people, it’s much easier.
All of these things will help you work on your confidence. If you’re confident playing in front of a camera, or the people you live with, you’ll also gain confidence that your practice isn’t being listened to or critiqued by anyone.
All the same, there are times where I don’t want to be loud, or let what I’m working on out leak of the room in any way!
Right before you play take a deep breath, hold it in and clench your body in fear. after you max that out, unclench, exhale and begin to play. It works!
I'm always watching YouTube and this one guy threw that out there in between ploys like "buy my program and become a guitar God in 30 days guaranteed!"
You just have to get tough. I know we aren't supposed to talk like that anymore but it takes courage to live a fulfilling life. Just keep throwing yourself out of your comfort zone and eventually your comfort zone will expand.
Realize that, too them, if it sounds bad it's just noise. They'll tune it out like you'd tune out the TV or a fan or whatever. They'll only ever notice if you get a song stuck in their head, or if something piques their interest.
Tldr. No one's listening to you
run exercises, get your fingers moving. I mean, basics, like scales warm-ups... just them them to be more comfortable with playing in general.
I used to use warm ups before shows to get my hands from shaking from nerves or just be able to hit the right first note lmao
I had this problem when I first started and got great advice backstage from the rhythm guitarist in a well-known band (I don’t want to betray his confidence). Right before he goes on stage he puts an ice cube up his butthole. Sounds weird I know. But I tried it and sure enough I no longer cared about the audience anymore.
I never had it as bad as you but from my experience I got over it by playing in front of people. Mainly my best friends and my girlfriend. Trust me, even if you piece together some simple power chords or just a nice melody, when a friend hears it they surely won't laugh at your face and most of the time you just get compliments which REALLY helps with self confidence. Or in other words, you want to get over the fear of playing in front of someone? Then play in front of someone until you don't fear it anymore.
Just remember we are all all our biggest critic and that you probably notice your mistakes a lot more than the people listening. It's also not such a bad thing to always want to sound as perfect as possible but don't stress too much
My parents always wanted that I should make less noise and I was self conscious too. Fortunately I just kept plugging away so that now, at 69, I am a supremely mediocre player.
Been playing most of my life, even taught for a few years and I still experience this. It's tough and I totally feel you. Here's some ideas I've had.
1. Soundproof your room. This is obviously a (fairly) expensive option but I love knowing that I can jam the fuck out at any time and nobody would know.
2. Blast jam tracks or play along to the songs through your headphones. Not sure what your setup is, but I have my Fender Mustang connected to my PC, set up the audio output to play through my headphones. The master volume on my amp is at 0 but I can still adjust the volume knobs on the amp and the guitar itself with great audio quality. This should work for any modular amp. I close my door and lose myself in the jam.
3. A slightly more fun option, get them involved! Play some songs you and your family know and have a jam sesh. Having fun playing music with them will do wonders for your confidence.
I think the great thing about playing with other musicians, especially ones that are close to you, is that most of them are experiencing the same performance anxiety as you. When you have that close kind of relationship with them, mistakes and fuckups become mutual learning moments.
Keep playing til what you're playing sounds like what you hear in your mind, or as close as. Stage fright is way more common than you might imagine. Don't stop.
weirdly enough i have almost no problem playing in front of strangers and crowds, its people who are close to me that i get nervous around because the way they see me has much more of an effect on me
This used to happen to me early on when I was learning electric lead. All you have to do is practice more and play in front of people until the feeling goes away.
I think it would help if you actually let people hear you while you play, rather than always use the headphone amp. It's perfectly normal to stuff up while we're practicing, that is why we practice, and I seriously doubt your family would make fun of you for not playing flawlessly. After some time, you'll get used to having people listening and feel less self-conscious. Just chill and play!
My dad always screamed from downstairs "THAT SOUNDS LIKE SHIT" So i cranked the volume at max, locked my door and just kept playing. He of course was joking...
Everyone who ever plays learns to fumble a bit and pick up their spot again without it being obvious. It's a skill as important as anything else you'll learn, and you do it by keeping on going. What your family will hear isn't you sucking. They'll hear your progress. They'll hear it better than you.
So true. My mom visits a few times a year and a few days ago I was playing and she was in the next room. She commented about how great I sound. Meanwhile, I thought I sounded terrible and not up to par. She mentioned how much better I got since the last time, which is funny because I’ve been playing for about twenty years now.
That's not necessarily a guitar problem, but an anxiety problem. Many people suffer the same thing, and it's no fun. The best thing may be some kind of counselling or therapy. You can get over it in the same way you can get over a phobia by exposing yourself to it, but it's hard on your own, and you will inevitably make a mistake in public and beat yourself up and it could get worse without support. Just remember, no-one cares about the mistakes you make more than you do, and most people might not even notice because they aren't experiencing your playing at the same level of perception you are. It's all good, everyone has to learn sometime, and the only people who criticise someone with the courage to make themselves vulnerable and overcome their fears aren't worth your time. They're sad and pathetic and jealous.
You just have to push through it. Weirdly, I've always had the same problem but never had an issue performing in front of a crowd. At home? Oh shit, someone might hear me and think I suck! In front of 100 people? LET'S ROCK. Brains are dumb.
IM THE SAME WAYY ITS SO WEIRD
I love it! Hilarious.
Play unplugged to warm yourself up. Play with headphones, but mind your hearing, it’s not good for you. Make videos of yourself playing. They will be bad. It will be awkward until you dial in a setup and routine. But keep at it. I find making a video “puts me on the spot”. It was very hard at first. But the more I did it the better things got. I end up feeling like I’m performing for someone, in a way. Then, when I’m in front of actual people, it’s much easier. All of these things will help you work on your confidence. If you’re confident playing in front of a camera, or the people you live with, you’ll also gain confidence that your practice isn’t being listened to or critiqued by anyone. All the same, there are times where I don’t want to be loud, or let what I’m working on out leak of the room in any way!
Just think that your playing for yourself, not them, fuck them and enjoy
just stop thinking
i need a fucking lobotomy
fuckign do that shit my nig it’ll feel good and get rid of dem headaches for ya bitchhhhh
no headaches and no fear id be fucking unstoppable
fuck it fuck it right boyyy
and do it
Right before you play take a deep breath, hold it in and clench your body in fear. after you max that out, unclench, exhale and begin to play. It works!
ill try that, ty!
Yvw!
Interesting. Where did you learn of this technique?
I'm always watching YouTube and this one guy threw that out there in between ploys like "buy my program and become a guitar God in 30 days guaranteed!"
You just have to get tough. I know we aren't supposed to talk like that anymore but it takes courage to live a fulfilling life. Just keep throwing yourself out of your comfort zone and eventually your comfort zone will expand.
Realize that, too them, if it sounds bad it's just noise. They'll tune it out like you'd tune out the TV or a fan or whatever. They'll only ever notice if you get a song stuck in their head, or if something piques their interest. Tldr. No one's listening to you
Don't think, just do
run exercises, get your fingers moving. I mean, basics, like scales warm-ups... just them them to be more comfortable with playing in general. I used to use warm ups before shows to get my hands from shaking from nerves or just be able to hit the right first note lmao
I’m a bit like that with singing while I play. I only do it in the garage at night, or when I’m DRUNK as hell
I had this problem when I first started and got great advice backstage from the rhythm guitarist in a well-known band (I don’t want to betray his confidence). Right before he goes on stage he puts an ice cube up his butthole. Sounds weird I know. But I tried it and sure enough I no longer cared about the audience anymore.
This is not real. And even if it is, I still refuse to believe it... XD
I never had it as bad as you but from my experience I got over it by playing in front of people. Mainly my best friends and my girlfriend. Trust me, even if you piece together some simple power chords or just a nice melody, when a friend hears it they surely won't laugh at your face and most of the time you just get compliments which REALLY helps with self confidence. Or in other words, you want to get over the fear of playing in front of someone? Then play in front of someone until you don't fear it anymore.
If I just heard strings plinking I’d assume it sounds awesome or at least different in the headphones.
Just remember we are all all our biggest critic and that you probably notice your mistakes a lot more than the people listening. It's also not such a bad thing to always want to sound as perfect as possible but don't stress too much
You have to learn to rock and roll.
I channel the shame/fear of sounding bad as fuel to try harder and sound better
My parents always wanted that I should make less noise and I was self conscious too. Fortunately I just kept plugging away so that now, at 69, I am a supremely mediocre player.
Been playing most of my life, even taught for a few years and I still experience this. It's tough and I totally feel you. Here's some ideas I've had. 1. Soundproof your room. This is obviously a (fairly) expensive option but I love knowing that I can jam the fuck out at any time and nobody would know. 2. Blast jam tracks or play along to the songs through your headphones. Not sure what your setup is, but I have my Fender Mustang connected to my PC, set up the audio output to play through my headphones. The master volume on my amp is at 0 but I can still adjust the volume knobs on the amp and the guitar itself with great audio quality. This should work for any modular amp. I close my door and lose myself in the jam. 3. A slightly more fun option, get them involved! Play some songs you and your family know and have a jam sesh. Having fun playing music with them will do wonders for your confidence.
my sibling is a drummer and we play sometimes! i still get nervous and fuck up really bad but i think im getting a bit less tense. one day lol
I think the great thing about playing with other musicians, especially ones that are close to you, is that most of them are experiencing the same performance anxiety as you. When you have that close kind of relationship with them, mistakes and fuckups become mutual learning moments.
Keep playing til what you're playing sounds like what you hear in your mind, or as close as. Stage fright is way more common than you might imagine. Don't stop.
Wait till you try to play on stage in front of a crowd lol
weirdly enough i have almost no problem playing in front of strangers and crowds, its people who are close to me that i get nervous around because the way they see me has much more of an effect on me
The people closest to you probably care the least amount about your music lol
This used to happen to me early on when I was learning electric lead. All you have to do is practice more and play in front of people until the feeling goes away.
I think it would help if you actually let people hear you while you play, rather than always use the headphone amp. It's perfectly normal to stuff up while we're practicing, that is why we practice, and I seriously doubt your family would make fun of you for not playing flawlessly. After some time, you'll get used to having people listening and feel less self-conscious. Just chill and play!
Just be yourself self and practice practice until you can’t dont try to emulate your guitar heros just be yourself self
My dad always screamed from downstairs "THAT SOUNDS LIKE SHIT" So i cranked the volume at max, locked my door and just kept playing. He of course was joking...
I was going to suggest headphones, but I guess you're already doing that. Helps me a ton to shutout the world and not overthink mistakes.