T O P

  • By -

Anakist

Free beer? I'm there!


watty_101

You get the ship I'll bring the burgers


Unlikely-Bath9111

Fuck yeah I'll get the fireworks.


KieveKRS

Ooh, cookout. Now we're talking.


Russtic27

Turns out, this was the motivation required to obtain FTL travel.


Substantial-Scheme47

The free beer is Bud Light


GlorkUndBork3-14

WHAT!? free goat piss, I'm in!


KieveKRS

No, just visible Light...


Phoenixforce_MKII

Hmm, Natural Light then.


Anakist

1. I am not American so don't care. 3. Free beer.


Underhill42

1) in that case I'll just warn you - the standing joke about Bud Light is that it's not beer. Technically it does contain weak-beer levels of alcohol, but flavorwise... think a blend of watery beer and \*very\* mild apple cider. "Inoffensive" is about the highest praise that you can give it. 2) As long as it's free booze... just don't go into expecting beer and you'll be fine.


Crass_Spektakel

Michael starts working at an Bavarian brewery. The owner explains: "In these barrels we store the beer which we sell to the Bavarians. After they are empty we wash them twice with clear water." "Why twice?" "The first wash goes to the monks as light beer. The second wash goes to the US, sold as Budweiser."


Shadowex3

Budweiser is what you get after you drink real beer.


Shadowex3

> Inoffensive I disagree strongly.


immallama21629

Fuck it, I don't care who brewed it, imma drink it if it's free


Wonderful-Hall-7929

The dude in me wants to got "Still free beer!". The german in me insists on getting insulted that someone would call donkey piss beer!


Underhill42

Oh come now - it's not \*nearly\* as strong as donkey piss! I find as long as I don't try to think of it as "beer" it's actually pleasantly inoffensive - almost like a weird hard cider without the sharp bite. Or a low-sugar alcoholic soda. Not my first choice, but I'd take it over a craft brew loaded with enough hops to strangle an elephant.


Wonderful-Hall-7929

Well, i myself prefer a german or czech Pils or Export - Brinkhoffs, Warsteiner or Budvar - but the only good thing about BL is: At least it's not Victoria Bitter!


_EvryMan

Free beer is the best beer anywhere, even if it's Natty Light!


DesperateReturn4161

Who cares, free beer is free beer. Now if it was not cold, that's a different matter


deantendo

You can almost imagine the original landers coming back with beer to watch a game with the locals.


KieveKRS

How dare you give me *ideas*


New-Consideration420

Where is part 2


deantendo

Of the story? I am not the OP


Turk2727

Well don’t let that stop you!


Jazermano

I dunno why this is stupid funny to me. It just is.


KieveKRS

The best reason: BECAUSE, THAT'S WHY


Grimpoppet

These more chill stories, just one offs with some fun, are what we need more of in the community. Long on going stories aren't bad, but it's sad that it's all we have had recently.


LordGraygem

Yeah, sometimes a quick one-off is just what's needed to cleanse the palate (so to speak) after a steady stream of longfics.


KillerAceUSAF

NGL, I miss the old HFY when a series would go for a decent length and be done, not be dragged out. I also miss when it was more than just sci-fi. I love sci-fi, but I miss when there was a good balance of it, fantasy, contemporary, etc. NGL, if I could go back to pre-2018 HFY, I would.


KieveKRS

Shorts are a good way to stretch the creative muscle. Get an idea across smoothly and succinctly. And I enjoy writing them. That said, I do have some long-form stuff still under wraps, but it won't stop me from interspersing the odd short here and there when the mood strikes. Also, Thank you very much for the shiny bauble. Although I am not crow, I shall treasure it.


Grimpoppet

Glad to give it 😁 No hate for longer stories! Just nice to have a one off now and then.


facebooknormie

Yeah too many series' to catch up to and too many war stories why can't we get more of this


[deleted]

I have several ideas, just need to force myself to put them to paper lol


Grimpoppet

I keep having ideas but I'm terrible about following through 😥


[deleted]

First step is to start keeping track of them. I have a small list started


rp_001

Build it and they will come…


KieveKRS

...and be very confused when they arrive


Thmxsz

And I assume come back with beer someday


BarnOwl-9024

That was a fun read! Didn’t expect the end, which was great


KieveKRS

Nobody expects the Spani- er, FREE BEER!


KraZe_EyE

See I thought it was gonna say "Dive Bar". Since it was a dive ball field...


KieveKRS

Now the locals are getting ideas


ApprehensiveImpact86

they probably had their id at the ready too


KieveKRS

Imagine landing on Space Elf Planet for a drink and the legal age is like 210yo...


belphanor

that would do it


KieveKRS

Never underestimate thirsty humans. We'll cross the galaxy for a good (free) beer!


Lazy-Sergal7441

XD.... Yep.... That right there will get ya many many human visits lmao


KieveKRS

Ideally, not with a game in progress though!


HFYWaffle

/u/KieveKRS ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/KieveKRS)) has posted 19 other stories, including: * [Why is it made of meat?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/13ccjxi/why_is_it_made_of_meat/) * [Fabrication 451](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/13b6piw/fabrication_451/) * [The Part Where We Make Dick Jokes](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/v8m9zd/the_part_where_we_make_dick_jokes/) * [The Part Where We Have Sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ocji1u/the_part_where_we_have_sex/) * [Act of Will ᵖᵗ²](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/oc9wz0/act_of_will_ᵖᵗ²/) * [Act Of Will](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/o7v0i6/act_of_will/) * [I am Infinity](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/m0s6vl/i_am_infinity/) * [AUGH, MY EYES!](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/gsev5n/augh_my_eyes/) * [Promises Kept](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/golgew/promises_kept/) * [Slight of Hand](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/gkg7up/slight_of_hand/) * [Rescue](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/gbwoez/rescue/) * [The Cold Fates Always Laugh Last](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/g31ojv/the_cold_fates_always_laugh_last/) * [GUARDIAN](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fnw395/guardian/) * [The Cold Fates Are Still Laughing](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fkgrpr/the_cold_fates_are_still_laughing/) * [Surveyors](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fjsr94/surveyors/) * [[BEACON#34] - ALERT](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fgp8ti/beacon34_alert/) * [The Cold Fates Are Laughing](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fg5onh/the_cold_fates_are_laughing/) * [Illumination](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fdh9ex/illumination/) * [I for Infinity](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fd3wxw/i_for_infinity/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.1 'Biscotti'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|13nomat&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.


Sticketoo_DaMan

Great twist, love i!


KieveKRS

I love that you love it.


WardenApproaches

I’m bringing lawn chairs to watch the game next time


KieveKRS

Just don't park on the field okay?


WardenApproaches

🫡 you got it


KnucklesMacKellough

Jesus wept, I laughed so hard...


KieveKRS

Jesus just sad he didn't get a pint himself.


PoppaBear313

Only thing better would be free coffee! Or free donuts..🤔 Ooohhh.. human trap: free coffee & donuts!


KieveKRS

Mmm, donut. Delicious war crimes in torus shape


Burke616

You've got a sports team, time to join the tradition of tailgating!


KieveKRS

Is it still tailgating if your shuttle lacks a tailgate?


Burke616

I have every confidence that enterprising humans will manage to arrange some kind of a tailgate for their ships, even if they have to bolt it on after they land and then dismantle it again before takeoff.


CharJohansson

Free beer? where? Ill get my crew


Weldersouth1

Best one yet.


KieveKRS

I'll just have to do better next time


KnucklesMacKellough

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. " - Benjamin Franklin


KieveKRS

*guess he never tasted lite beer*


KnucklesMacKellough

I believe this quote predates lite beer


u2125mike2124

Love it upvoted to 969


KieveKRS

Yay numbers go up! *the dopamine, it pleases me*


Anakist

Brain happy juice go brrrrrrrrrrr.


Flippyfloppyjalopy

Hold my beer and watch this.


100Bob2020

WELL played WELL PLAYED!


InstructionHead8595

Hahaha!!!!!!😹 excellent


maximusaemilius

Damn i loved that story, well done!


Wonderful-Hall-7929

I read "Free beer", i step on the brakes!


Silverblade5

!N Though I am more of a cider man myself, there is a great resell opportunity here.


UpdateMeBot

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Blampie2

What a horribly dumb story. I like it.


Xavius_Night

That is a magnificent twist - excellent work, wordsmith \^\^


DerthOFdata

[Free beer!... ...Free beer!... Free beer! Free beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer!Beer!Beer! BeerBeerbeerbeerBEEEEEEEERRRR!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XywGWnqKvFc)


humanity_999

Yeah.... yeah that'd be how you do it...