It looks like the sculptor started doing Vin Diesel until 90% of the way through some supervisor came and showed them a picture of The Rock and the sculpture was being unveiled in two days so they did what they could.
#What if the guards in the Hitman games all recognize Agent 47 through his shitty disguises but play along to avoid getting killed?
Imagine you're guard 6 patrolling the perimeter of some billionaire's evil lair and your other guard buddy Tom goes to take a leak but comes back four inches taller, white, inexplicably wearing a beanie even though it's 90 degrees outside, and conversing like "How do you do, fellow guard?" even though the two of you have been best friends since the third grade.
But it's easier to just play along and hold back tears knowing Tom is sitting in some port-a-potty in his underwear and with a snapped neck because the alternative would mean you end up right there beside him.
"I'm doing great, Tom," you say to this new stranger as he walks by and steals the safe room key from your belt. Your ex-wife was right, you should have gotten a real job but it might be too late because this stranger is realizing he needs your clothes to get in as well.
^([copypasta])
> and conversing like "How do you do, fellow guard?"
I'd change that for "I see a murder of crows flying nearby. Weather sure is killing today."
That's more fitting for Agent 47's chit-chat lol
This is one of the best tangents I’ve ever read on this godforsaken platform. Take my upvote and I will fight any fucker who comes here after me and doesn’t upvote you as well!
The funny thing is that this isn’t even too out there, because 47 is basically a force of nature, and even if you recognize him, get him to go away without him knowing you recognized him, tell all the guards in the building, and then try to lay a trap for him while he still thinks he’s disguised, he’ll still butcher the entire security staff with pretty much no effort
The main issue with this theory is that I don’t think any of the security actually know about hitmen, 47 and Diana specifically, some of the higher ups do but it’s kinda like the SCP foundation where there’s this whole other world that normal people are on a need to know basis for
I do agree with most of this and do find your jokes hilarious but I was literally playing hitman 2 earlier this week and it's pretty damn tough to fool guards. Even on the first mission at the mafia mansion. Sneaking passed as a mailman with the flowers is easy (which would be expected).
Walking past the guard to the kitchen back entrance on the right-hand side when you spawn, is almost impossible. (Which is also to be expected) because just like you said. A guard would be like "why the fuck does this guy who just went for a smoke break look insanely different now"
Can't comment on future games as I found most of them dumbed down and a lot easier. 2&3 were my jam.
Besides the obvious color- I think it's because even though he's smiling it doesn't extend up to his eyes, so we're stuck with a gaze that looks like it's staring into the void and has no warmth at all when there should be.
The head is just straight up the wrong shape, the face looks more like Handsome Squidward than Dwayne Johnson, and yeah the pigment is a off, but it's closer than you'd think without looking at a modern reference photo. This looks like someone accidentally put the Vin Diesel head on the Dwayne body then tried to fix it in post.
His head also looks a little squished. I feel like his head is a bit longer than is displayed here, and his facial features look too close together as a result
Melanin
A 5 o'clock shadow and grease on his head.
He’s gotta be wet looking.
It looks like the sculptor started doing Vin Diesel until 90% of the way through some supervisor came and showed them a picture of The Rock and the sculpture was being unveiled in two days so they did what they could.
Why is this so accurate?
I never thought of that but holy shit, you’re right. He never outgrew his slimy wrestler days
Mia did, in fact, hide the baby oil.
“Better hide that big ass forehead.”
Did you know that was ad lib? That was Ludacris laughing his ass off at the quick come back.
Yeah, I did. I wonder if he saw Ludracris taking a big swig of his drink before he said it. That spit take was amazing.
Ah, the Randy Orton
Baby oil*
I can confirm this. I have similar complexion and shave my head. I look different after a shower until my pores start oozing.
Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Jackson.
he he
Yep, he looks a little too light.
Needs more lead then?
Mr Clean "the rock" Johnson
Mr Kleen
The earrings!
And the Shirt had to be white
Looks like a **Vin Diesel / The Rock** hybrid
The Diesel / Vin Rock
Dwayne Diesel
Sounds like a pornstar name ngl💀
I bet Johnny sins could have carved this while getting ready for a mars mission and recorded the full documentary in 30 minutes
I see it
Call him Doctor Pristine
Haha.
Its the eyes
Yes.
when johnny sins and the rock have a kid
[удалено]
Looks more like Vin diesel and rock fused together.
That's where I went with it
They have a Vin Diesel?
Vin Unleaded
*hugs daddy rock and mommy johnny, then looks at camera dramatically* #”FAMILY”
I legit thought it was johnny when i scrolled
I just commented Johnny Sins before seeing your comment! Lol
Vin diesel and the rock
You mean Dwhite Johnson*
#IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM!
r/angryupvote
r/beatmetoit
Wax guys ran outa pigment
10/10
The People's Eyebrow
Almost commented this, thank you
Bro looks like he’s gotta barcode on the back of his head
#What if the guards in the Hitman games all recognize Agent 47 through his shitty disguises but play along to avoid getting killed? Imagine you're guard 6 patrolling the perimeter of some billionaire's evil lair and your other guard buddy Tom goes to take a leak but comes back four inches taller, white, inexplicably wearing a beanie even though it's 90 degrees outside, and conversing like "How do you do, fellow guard?" even though the two of you have been best friends since the third grade. But it's easier to just play along and hold back tears knowing Tom is sitting in some port-a-potty in his underwear and with a snapped neck because the alternative would mean you end up right there beside him. "I'm doing great, Tom," you say to this new stranger as he walks by and steals the safe room key from your belt. Your ex-wife was right, you should have gotten a real job but it might be too late because this stranger is realizing he needs your clothes to get in as well. ^([copypasta])
> and conversing like "How do you do, fellow guard?" I'd change that for "I see a murder of crows flying nearby. Weather sure is killing today." That's more fitting for Agent 47's chit-chat lol
“Must have been the wind”
This is one of the best tangents I’ve ever read on this godforsaken platform. Take my upvote and I will fight any fucker who comes here after me and doesn’t upvote you as well!
Not sure if I should upvote it or not....
I am waiting for a fight
I’ll take you out fool! How dare you disrespect such brilliance!
I’m not sure if I’m gonna kick your ass!
I haven’t even played the games and I agree
The funny thing is that this isn’t even too out there, because 47 is basically a force of nature, and even if you recognize him, get him to go away without him knowing you recognized him, tell all the guards in the building, and then try to lay a trap for him while he still thinks he’s disguised, he’ll still butcher the entire security staff with pretty much no effort The main issue with this theory is that I don’t think any of the security actually know about hitmen, 47 and Diana specifically, some of the higher ups do but it’s kinda like the SCP foundation where there’s this whole other world that normal people are on a need to know basis for
I do agree with most of this and do find your jokes hilarious but I was literally playing hitman 2 earlier this week and it's pretty damn tough to fool guards. Even on the first mission at the mafia mansion. Sneaking passed as a mailman with the flowers is easy (which would be expected). Walking past the guard to the kitchen back entrance on the right-hand side when you spawn, is almost impossible. (Which is also to be expected) because just like you said. A guard would be like "why the fuck does this guy who just went for a smoke break look insanely different now" Can't comment on future games as I found most of them dumbed down and a lot easier. 2&3 were my jam.
That was marvelous, thank you
this one make me chuckle out loud, thanks m8.
Looks like he's just ordered a pint and is now waiting on the lads turning up
It's like a mix of vin diesel and dwayne johnson
Exactly....Dwayne Diesel
Vin Johnson
Nah, Din Jeisel
He looks like they Dwayned all of the blood from his body.
I wish we still had awards for this comment 😂😂😂
The Quartz
Way underrated comment
The eyebrow raise
He was colonized
He looks allwight to me.
He looks FUCKED
Well if I know wax artists, he probably has been.
What???
# Well if I know wax artists, he probably has been
Come again?
They probably did...
There’s two things missing. Melanin and copious amounts of baby oil.
And Kevin Hart
Vin The Rock Diesel
His hip sack and turtleneck!
I think you meant fanny pack.
It's not always called that because in some countries "fanny" is slang for vagina. I've heard some British people call it a bum bag xD
It’s the eyebrow. He’s not doing the eyebrow thing
It’s The Rock is not white!😂
It's both honestly
Sins of Johnny cometh.
Melanin?
A likeness?
Idk if thats the Rock, maybe Calcite specifcally.
Underrated comment.😂
Why is he white
That’s not Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson! That’s Daniel “The Brick” Jones! 🤣
This looks like an AI generated photo.
It’s so white it should be called crack rock
Why the fuck is he white
Like Uncle Roger liked to say, "Use the Right amount, not the White amount."
It's the brows and skin tone
The Rock needs more…. More…. Cookin?
His mouth and eyebrows look like Sasha Baron Cohen
That’s a bald, swollen Freddie Prinze Jr.
Do ya smell what the Whitewash is cookin?
Nips
Dwayne the Diesel Johnson
Looks like Mr. Clean
Looks like Dwayne Diesel.
Dwayne "The Michael Jackson" Johnson
That’s Dwayne ‘The Sandstone’ Johnson
Something's not quite white here...
It looks like Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel had a baby. Bib Biebel. Shid fast.
Bruh, they didnt made the sculpture out of rocks how could they do that? So obvious
Why is this such a recurrent issue with making wax statues of celebrities with brown skin? It happened with Beyonce and Rihanna too lol
The Mummy Returns remake looking decent
Head shape is different.
Who gave them a Johnny Sins photo to work with!?!
Besides the obvious color- I think it's because even though he's smiling it doesn't extend up to his eyes, so we're stuck with a gaze that looks like it's staring into the void and has no warmth at all when there should be.
The brows and the iconic sweat is missing
I thought this was just some white dude who kinda looks like the Rock lmao
Delamain
Oprah is missing
Dwayne Diesel looking intimidating with all the depleted melanin
Looks like the Rock and Vin Diesel had a baby
Dwayne "The White" Johnson
The tan maybe?
Dwayne "The Sins" Johnson
This is a Dave Chappell joke right???….the whites select
Johnny Sins meets the Rock
Why’s he white?
The People’s Eyebrow.
Bro’s N-word pass ran out 😭
That ain’t Dwayne Johnson. That’s f-f-family
the People's Eyebrow?
The head is just straight up the wrong shape, the face looks more like Handsome Squidward than Dwayne Johnson, and yeah the pigment is a off, but it's closer than you'd think without looking at a modern reference photo. This looks like someone accidentally put the Vin Diesel head on the Dwayne body then tried to fix it in post.
I see everybody saying skin, but guys he's missing the raised eyebrow
The CG Scorpion king looks more like him
they stole my homeboys melanin. can't have shit at madame tussauds.
The Atari logo between his brows
He is white 🤣🤣 he's missing colour
Damn he white white
Needs more steroidal forehead
The Mormon version of the Rock
It's missing the eyebrow raise
Dwayne diesel?
Look at what these jabronies have done to my man! They whitewashed him!
Damn they took his melanin!
Vin Diesel mold was reused
Dwayne Johnson's face is missing
He looks like my favorite Astronaut, Mr Sins.
Whitewashed
The Peoples Eyebrow… oh and the tan.
Family.
His head also looks a little squished. I feel like his head is a bit longer than is displayed here, and his facial features look too close together as a result
That's Dave "the pebble" Jason
He’s not asking us for money to rebuild Hawaii to his and opras liking?
Why did they make him white? He's a Black / Samoan man..
Where is skin tone at
I always wonder where they put the wick.
Very bing chilling
Melanin
He looks more like Vin Diesel.
the quartz
He shouldn’t be wearing a collard shirt
Dwayne "The Hooligan" Johnson.
Looks more like Johnny Sins
I thought it was Johnny Sins!!!💀😂😂
Skin tone he's too light skined by a little. That and his eyes are wrong unlike the skin tone I can't tell you how to fix it.
He has the same procedure done, as michael jackson did
Dana white and Mr kleen
White washed
Some color
It’s a mix of Dwayne the rock Johnson and Vin diesel. Dwayne the diesel Johnson.
They should've done the eyebrow raise
Melanin
Bros switching teams
No duh. It’s obvious that he doesn’t have his signature eyebrow raise.
Kevin
The head is too perfectly shaped. He has a slightly longer and pointier head. Also why is he white?
He looks white
Color
Hobbs and Torretto hybrid
A soul.
It looks like a fusion between Mr.Clean and Jeff Bezos
Wayne “The Chalk” Johnson
Needs the stubble he looks too clean
He's looking a bit pale.
He's a bit too white. And why are his eyebrows not doing that thing he does?
The raised eyebrow, of course!
we all know what it is, and it's the smolder
Pearly White teeth might send him to the pearly gates
Is this "Winter mode" Rock?
Welcome to Hollywood, Agent 48
Melanin
He looks like Freddie Prinze Jr. And Vin Diesel had a kid. Am I the only one seeing that
Why is so “bright”?
Why's he so.. white...