For real, I have a small piece of skin that always starts hanging as soon as a bite down on that bitch, like the exact same spot always starts tearing up skin
i worked in a gas station as a teenager thats known as a pizza shop more than a gas station and ate a pizza roll that i didnt know literally just came out of the oven. the skin on the roof of my mouth was hanging and i had to pull it off and a huge piece just peeled off.
probably the worst pain ive ever had in my life.
They’re inflamed tastebuds from all the sugar. There are some topical/swish solutions online but an NSAID and an ice cube should help if you wanna keep it simple but do more than nothing.
Only if you have bromelain sensitivity! Cooking or pasteurizing pineapple breaks down the enzyme and prevents it from tenderizing the inside of your mouth.
I had aSandwich on a baguette the other day, and my mouth wasn’t the same for 2 days. It was a great sandwich tho: lettuce, guac, baguette, tomatoes
With some cheese and some aioli to get it going
I get to taste one of these soon, it will be a good first and last taste.
I hate salt and vinegar, but everyone keeps telling me to try those damned kettle chips.
Am I the only one offended by the fact the picture is regular Capn Crunch and not the Crunchberries one. It was the Crunchberries that tore up your mouth, not the regular one.
It’s not commonly known but guns always seem to stick to the top of the inside of your mouth while chewing them. Personally I prefer the crunchy version of guns, less sticky.
Where's the pizza
For real. Every single time I eat a frozen pizza, no matter how long I wait, I still burn the roof of my mouth.
Wouldn't you melt ?
I mean, it still hurts.
Yo wtf lol 
I'll say no to a blow job thank you. Where did you learn your skills a cheese grater?
Okay but, call me when THAT party over.
Lol
Just flip it upside down
No, I don’t think I will
Would you stand on your head to eat it then?
>eat a frozen pizza >burn #🤔
I'ma freeze you.
Have 2 slices at a time like a sammich
It’s not frozen pizza, it’s specifically Totinos pizzas. Maybe because I eat them about 3-5 minutes after they’ve left the oven.
When you get up for more it's stone cold again
For real, I have a small piece of skin that always starts hanging as soon as a bite down on that bitch, like the exact same spot always starts tearing up skin
work on gettin a callous.
i worked in a gas station as a teenager thats known as a pizza shop more than a gas station and ate a pizza roll that i didnt know literally just came out of the oven. the skin on the roof of my mouth was hanging and i had to pull it off and a huge piece just peeled off. probably the worst pain ive ever had in my life.
Yeah. Coffee gets the tongue not the roof... pizza is king roof melter.
Bagel Bites get me every damn time
I was thinking bagel bites or pizza rolls.
HOT POCKETS
that's not important.....the important thing is that where's the cock??
I never burnt myself with pizza
You haven't lived.
I mean, how do you even manage to burn yourself with pizza, it’s not that hot
#Pizza rolls my dude...
lol I have messed up mouth right now from pizza great comment.
Toast?
I came here to ask what kind of weak ass mouth someone has to have to be hurt by toast.
Maybe charred toast? But even then, take smaller bites xD. The toast is the confusing part
Captain crunch was the confusing one for me, never had it since it isn't sold in shops here so don't know how it ruins the roof of ones mouth?!
It leaves behind this scratchy film. Like a layer of sweet soap scum in your mouth.
Soap cum*
Sourdough toast strips the roof of my mouth like a heatgun on paint
Me. I'm that weakass.
Chad toast eater Us virgin toast sufferers live in misery
Right? Hot steamy slice of pizza instead.
Toast is easy. Dutch Crunch bread tho.
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CC, if it’s not wet, will scrape off the top layer of the roof of your mouth. The edges are rough. But damn it’s so good.
I used to eat dry cap n crunch all the time never bothered me
How'd you get a phone into a psych ward?
Do what I do: Just stick to *Oops! All Berries*.
It’s the second bowl that rips up the roof of your mouth.
I've always compared eating Cap'n Crunch to chewing on a live hand grenade
Something about the third bowl of the day really tears it up.
You gotta eat like half a box, then drink lemonade.
Apparently OP doesnt know how to eat things. Pizza rolls or hot pockets do way more damage than toast or kettle chips
They need to be salt and vinegar kettle chips
Also, it’s technically the ceiling of your mouth. Only one of these will take off the roof of your mouth.
Sour skittles
What is even going on with sour skittles, they started sour but now they're straight dehydrated citric acid coated sugar pellets obliterating my mouth
And then you have those weird bumps that hurt when you touch them all over your tongue for a day or two
They’re inflamed tastebuds from all the sugar. There are some topical/swish solutions online but an NSAID and an ice cube should help if you wanna keep it simple but do more than nothing.
Microwaved burrito
Yeah little Juan burritos used to fucking destroy my mouth back in the day
Hot pockets.
captain crunch has me LOL'ing for real
Laughing out louding.
Where is the sour skittles ???
Where pineapple
Only if you have bromelain sensitivity! Cooking or pasteurizing pineapple breaks down the enzyme and prevents it from tenderizing the inside of your mouth.
Where's the good white stuff in this list
Cum tastes better if you don’t preheat it
It’s in your nose.
Forgot sour skittles.
Jolly Ranchers
Where’s the sour skittles
Where sour skittles ?
Add sour skittles to this mix.
how do you miss pizza?
Sour patch kids need to be in here! They’ll shred your mouth so fast!!!
Sweats in eating a entire bag with little to no irritation
**Diabetes has entered the chat**
Looks legit
Ceiling* of your mouth
tf kinda toast you eating.
Instead of using whatever that gun is, why not use a 44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, it'll blow your head clean off
Where's spicy candy?
I only like putting 4 of those in my mouth. I hate kettle chips
A literal glock lmao!
Change those chips to salt and vinegar!
aaaand I got another message from Reddit care support over another meme. Nice
I love how no one is talking about the gun and there discussing the cap'n crunch and coffee
Cap'n Crunch is more controversial. Some say it can be used for good.
Kurt Cobain likes that one
Man glock 18’s are so 💀
That's not what that is
Toast is just a mild version of the damage done by a grilled cheese sandwich
My gs makes me buy her Captain crunch, and her mouth is immune to this shit. Send help
You forgot the icebreaker mints
Also, Straight from the oven Delisio pizza
I just ate hot pizza which burned the roof of my mouth and now I see this
Skittles?
Where are the Sour Patch Kids?
Based 🗿
Say goodbye to Kurt cobaine
Bottom middle looking tasty rn
Y'all are rookies. Did you ever try eating an entire bag of sweet tarts in one sitting?
How do you burn the roof of your mouth with liquids? If you said tongue, I get that. Do you have a drinking problem?
You're missing biscuits
What about baguettes, I love it though
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…the gun is the whole joke of the post. Without it, it’s just idiots rambling about captain crunch.
Looks like an ender kit too. 2 for 1! What a deal!
I still ponder the fact from time to time that some people somehow get hurt eating Cap’n Crunch,and now toast apparently.
Me too bro Me too
my mouth is bullet proof, cap n crunch cant do anything about it
Man the Sig Pro in DA/SA is a sexy mf.
Coco puffs
That's why I say hey man, nice shot
Should have been a shot gun instead of a pistol
Fuck me I needed that laugh. The gun got me on this one.
No hotpockets?
Toasts and crisps also cut the sides of my lips. That is why I look like fucking joker but with scabs.
This belongs in r/shitposting I love it
You dont want a pistol you want to go full Ronnie McNutt on yourself. Less chance to become part of a salad
Not the Captain Crunch!
Kur Cobain's shotgun.
This is fucked up! Never have I lost the roof of my mouth to Kettle chips. Cheeto puffs on the other hand.
There's a severe lack of Stoufer's French Bread Pizza.
Dude, guns are super crunchy, but they go great with eggs
Where’s Curt Cobain?
BLT's
Altogether now! "One of these things is not like the other..."
I don't get the toast one.
Laughs in Swiss German
Dutch crunch
don’t forget banh mi
this makes sense because i want to kill myself right now
Splintered taco shell.
Where dorito
Damn that 9mm from yesterday. I can still feel it.
Mmm, I love eating whole guns.
everyday i pray for the sweet release of death
You forgot about mexican candy
Flaming Hot Cheetos when I'm high.
Where’s the Hot Pockets?
Where’s Kurt cobain?
Captain crunch is the worst for sure, the gun is the solution for it
Funyuns absolutely destroy my mouth for *days*
I had aSandwich on a baguette the other day, and my mouth wasn’t the same for 2 days. It was a great sandwich tho: lettuce, guac, baguette, tomatoes With some cheese and some aioli to get it going
Ayo herrs represent. Although I prefer utz
Can't forget artesanto white bread, that shit sticks to the top of your mouth so much, i almost want to stop eating it but its so goddamn GOOD
Hot Pockets
What about a pointy dorito
Pro tip: If you add mini marshmallows too captain crunch you can avoid a bloody mouth.
Which of you goofy bastards gnawing on a gun?
What sort of weak ass mouths yall got? Toast and chips? Nahh man. Capn crunch havent had but from cereal rlly
Salt and vinegar chips…. The blood kind of meshes well with the flavor though
Sp2022
Where’s the club sandwiches?
I get to taste one of these soon, it will be a good first and last taste. I hate salt and vinegar, but everyone keeps telling me to try those damned kettle chips.
Popeyes biscuit
Pizza rolls
Usp?
Hot tea burns like a MFer
People who are harmed by Captain Crunch cereal should be removed from the gene pool.
Horrible yet amazing.
where's the scalding hot pizza?
where’s the sour skittles?
Where's the pineapple?!
hot pockets a joke to you?
The crunch always just raped the roof of my mouth. Fuck that guy!
Wheres toe nails?
My favorite is the partnership they made with Nirvana.
Thing missing: spire from Hot Fuzz
Y’all forgot candies like lemon heads, sour patch kids, or the worse: sour skittles. Sucking on these will destroy your mouth.
/r/starterpacks
The one time I had totinos pizza rolls... I died
Am I the only one offended by the fact the picture is regular Capn Crunch and not the Crunchberries one. It was the Crunchberries that tore up your mouth, not the regular one.
Couldn't think of a better way to show you're a Nirvana fan
Did you SERIOUSLY forget Peanut Butter Crunch?!
Holy shit that’s dark. Not even Crunch Berries just regular Cap’n Crunch
Needs image candy and rock candy.
Hey I have that Sig! Good to know I’m only 1 step away from the roof of my mouth saying goodbye
You forgot a little ceasers hot n ready. Somehow that shit destroys the roof of my mouth
Tomatoes
Those captains chests are designed to destroy flesh.
its really rare that coffee or tea does that to me. You should swap it with pizza because damn, every time, it blisters my mouth and gums
forgot domino's pizza
It’s not commonly known but guns always seem to stick to the top of the inside of your mouth while chewing them. Personally I prefer the crunchy version of guns, less sticky.
The fuck are you doing to your toast
I like how Caption Crunch is after the gun.