The line about, "this isn't a democracy,it's a benevolent dictatorship" killed me. Like of course.
Plus straight up abandoning the underage children to fend for themselves for months at a time. Way too familiar
That line sums up my childhood. My dad was absolutely the benevolent dictator of our household, over both his wife and kids. Uprooting us constantly, keeping us lonely and isolated, doing whatever he felt like, whenever he felt like, and the rest of us, even our mom, knew better than to do anything but shut up, smile, and let him have his way. Always. No matter how much it made everyone else miserable.
And the last line of the article resonates in my soul. No matter what happens, no matter how bad things might get, I can't go back. I won't go back. Because my freedom and agency are too important to ever sacrifice to anyone else's whims, ever again.
The family ‘vote’, the final result still decided by the father… that happened so many times when I was a kid. It was meant to teach me and my brothers about democracy. The only thing I learned was that nobody actually cares about what you think, they just want you to agree with them. And if you don’t agree, then it’ll just be worse for you.
It is. But I also see hopefulness. She doesn't get into it, other than saying that people are surprised she's so normal, but she's found success after escaping. So much of our lives were spent in that trap, but so much more of our lives can be spent exploring and growing outside of it.
I think there are degrees of ego attributing to all homeschool parents. The idea that they can educate better than anyone else. It definitely was a factor in my home. Yeah. Give it a few years until headlines start popping up like "The Whole World Saw My Perfect Life, No One Saw My Agony: How My Parents Gave Away My Education and Happiness for Clout."
Don’t believe everything you read in this book. There is a reason why all her family and anyone who knew her long term have not supported this book. It’s simply not factual.
The hyperbole in your post and absolutes are outside the scope of logic. There is no possible way you know what "anyone who knew her long term" has to say about this. Her brother and father have spoken out against it, and pretty much to claim they remember it differently, that it wasn't bad, not to dispute much of the facts. When they do, it's minor stuff. "There was a partition between our sleeping quarters." "Is relieving pressure from a head injury hematoma actually 'brain surgery'?" Borders on narcissistic deflection tactics. And my post focuses on how this is indicative of how a homeschool kid can feel and not be heard in their own family. HS families might latch onto something like high reading scores and completely ignore social anxiety issues or low math scores. "Well, I didn't think it was that bad" is a pretty common thing you hear not only from HS parents but from siblings. One thing that happens is siblings are treated differently, or specific needs aren't met of one kid. Of course that can happen in any school setting, but to not acknowledge it in HS setting destroys family relationships.
I was there snalejam, I know them all. I know her better than most and i know that her brothers story in particular, is actually what happened. A lot more happened as a matter of fact, but that will have to wait. It means something when no one who’s know you for decades endorses your story.
Still has nothing to do with my post and how homeschooling affects kids. If anything, you're describing the results of a traumatized and PTSD altered psyche/memories. And again, what her brother has said about her story is simply "I don't think my parents were that bad." What major facts have been disputed? Obviously peoples' memories are going to imperfect. No nonfiction account between two people are ever the same. That's just how memory works. She has a lot of receipts. And, again, the trauma is not something that he or anyone can verify or deny. That's something that only she can know if she suffered. Two guys go through the exact same battle, one comes back broken from PTSD, the other has no problems. That's just the way of it. I have lots of siblings who were fine with being homeschooled. I hated it. I was not being educated. I was behind in math. My siblings, maybe not. Them remembering it different has nothing to do with my homeschool education.
You’re reading a work that is 50% fiction. I appreciate you may have had problems with homeschooling. The author of this book had no problems with getting a good education, trust me. I'm not going into detail of what it was really like but she knows what’s been made up.
As I said I was there and to much later. The book was written like this to make up for a huge element that was taken out and not mentioned. It’s designed by a very smart woman to illicit the response you’re having.
Anyway. All the best to you.
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The line about, "this isn't a democracy,it's a benevolent dictatorship" killed me. Like of course. Plus straight up abandoning the underage children to fend for themselves for months at a time. Way too familiar
I bet that father had an obnoxious punchable smirk when he said that line too.
I know mine always did
That line sums up my childhood. My dad was absolutely the benevolent dictator of our household, over both his wife and kids. Uprooting us constantly, keeping us lonely and isolated, doing whatever he felt like, whenever he felt like, and the rest of us, even our mom, knew better than to do anything but shut up, smile, and let him have his way. Always. No matter how much it made everyone else miserable. And the last line of the article resonates in my soul. No matter what happens, no matter how bad things might get, I can't go back. I won't go back. Because my freedom and agency are too important to ever sacrifice to anyone else's whims, ever again.
I heard this exact line from my own dad many times, came from a homeschool background as well. It doesn’t sound nearly as good as they think it does.
Same
I’m pretty sure my parents said those exact words to me
They probably did, it's straight from James Dobson's parenting books.
My parents 100% used to say this. Mostly unironically.
I love this too, because she made it. She was stronger than her messed-up parents.
The family ‘vote’, the final result still decided by the father… that happened so many times when I was a kid. It was meant to teach me and my brothers about democracy. The only thing I learned was that nobody actually cares about what you think, they just want you to agree with them. And if you don’t agree, then it’ll just be worse for you.
And is the mother's vote even a vote? It wasn't in my family. She would want to keep the peace.
Damn, we all had different flavours of the same childhood huh
The raw loneliness and despair…heartbreaking.
It is. But I also see hopefulness. She doesn't get into it, other than saying that people are surprised she's so normal, but she's found success after escaping. So much of our lives were spent in that trap, but so much more of our lives can be spent exploring and growing outside of it.
For sure, the smile on her face in the author pic is really uplifting :)
Can't wait for the Influencer kids recovery stories, bc the egomaniac at the middle of this has more to do with it then homeschooling
I think there are degrees of ego attributing to all homeschool parents. The idea that they can educate better than anyone else. It definitely was a factor in my home. Yeah. Give it a few years until headlines start popping up like "The Whole World Saw My Perfect Life, No One Saw My Agony: How My Parents Gave Away My Education and Happiness for Clout."
Homeschooling allowed the situation to become as bad as it did. Homeschooling allowed the egomaniac to completely isolate his children.
“I was learning nothing and was going crazy with boredom, since my parents – for reasons I never understood – had decided not to send us to school.”
There was actually a girl on here who had a similar experience. But she was also homeschooled, I believe.
Don’t believe everything you read in this book. There is a reason why all her family and anyone who knew her long term have not supported this book. It’s simply not factual.
The hyperbole in your post and absolutes are outside the scope of logic. There is no possible way you know what "anyone who knew her long term" has to say about this. Her brother and father have spoken out against it, and pretty much to claim they remember it differently, that it wasn't bad, not to dispute much of the facts. When they do, it's minor stuff. "There was a partition between our sleeping quarters." "Is relieving pressure from a head injury hematoma actually 'brain surgery'?" Borders on narcissistic deflection tactics. And my post focuses on how this is indicative of how a homeschool kid can feel and not be heard in their own family. HS families might latch onto something like high reading scores and completely ignore social anxiety issues or low math scores. "Well, I didn't think it was that bad" is a pretty common thing you hear not only from HS parents but from siblings. One thing that happens is siblings are treated differently, or specific needs aren't met of one kid. Of course that can happen in any school setting, but to not acknowledge it in HS setting destroys family relationships.
I was there snalejam, I know them all. I know her better than most and i know that her brothers story in particular, is actually what happened. A lot more happened as a matter of fact, but that will have to wait. It means something when no one who’s know you for decades endorses your story.
Still has nothing to do with my post and how homeschooling affects kids. If anything, you're describing the results of a traumatized and PTSD altered psyche/memories. And again, what her brother has said about her story is simply "I don't think my parents were that bad." What major facts have been disputed? Obviously peoples' memories are going to imperfect. No nonfiction account between two people are ever the same. That's just how memory works. She has a lot of receipts. And, again, the trauma is not something that he or anyone can verify or deny. That's something that only she can know if she suffered. Two guys go through the exact same battle, one comes back broken from PTSD, the other has no problems. That's just the way of it. I have lots of siblings who were fine with being homeschooled. I hated it. I was not being educated. I was behind in math. My siblings, maybe not. Them remembering it different has nothing to do with my homeschool education.
You’re reading a work that is 50% fiction. I appreciate you may have had problems with homeschooling. The author of this book had no problems with getting a good education, trust me. I'm not going into detail of what it was really like but she knows what’s been made up. As I said I was there and to much later. The book was written like this to make up for a huge element that was taken out and not mentioned. It’s designed by a very smart woman to illicit the response you’re having. Anyway. All the best to you.
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