I go “I hear you outside, you better not come in here”
He says “not uh, no you don’t”
We both laughed, I hear some gun fire and someone die
I go “you still out there buddy”
New guy goes “oh you fucking wish”
I've definitely said that and gotten killed but that's probably coincidence cause I like making jokes and tend to get killed after making noise and am probably not the only one.
Yep I’ve ran into you before, moments later my friend killed you, this was probably like 4 months ago +. My friend to this day still says it when he gets penny shot kills.
I matched with a French guy yesterday and his English was pretty bad, my French equally so.
We managed to get “OUI OUI BAGUETTE” to be a signal for enemies, and the rest of the time we both just shouted random words we knew in each others language. I was saying “horse” “duck” “I’m sorry” “I love you” and all the other guy knew was “Baby” and “Oh yeahh” and “Horse” pronounced “Orrhse” in the most French accent ever. Great time. I added him to my amis list.
I'm not a trash talker, quite the contrary, but when we overcome a very passive team (who wait 20 minutes in the bushes around the boss or at the extraction) I like to toggle my microphone to say a little “thank for not playing”
I usually just rage bait them, like 2 days ago I kept calling this team pussies and when they finally responded my friend immediatly 1 tapped them through a wall since he heard they voice
there’s like a 50/50 chance if I voip at an enemy I am immediately called a bitch or cunt or something of that caliber so that’s always super fun for me personally
Really? Majority of the time I get silence or humor back. The worst is when they voip your corpse though. I try to be nice to the people I kill though.
I don’t doubt that it happens, but I don’t see why it’s a huge deal. Everyone gets shittalked in games. I have a very southern accent and when I talk in game chat everyone calls me a dumb redneck and asks if I f my sister. Doesn’t bother me though I usually just laugh at them.
Nice that you don't care but there are more than enough people that hate being harassed based on their sex or other things that define them. What kind of argument is that
Yeah it sucks. I'm surprised it's that low. Like I said, just hope it stays in a game and doesn't turn into a dude driving a van into a bunch of people
For future quoting when talking to dead bodies a study showed that there was a strong correlation between misogyny and lack if skill in video games
Men that don't suck at video games are usually not bothered by the eventuality of dying to a woman
Or maybe its easier to aim when you are not holding your VoIP key and yelling swears at the same time
If it makes you feel any better, you know that the best thing these guys have going on in their life right now is whatever video game they have in front of them, and that they'll likely die alone
Or alternatively, that they get even more radicalized and drive a van into a bunch of people, but let's hope they'll be too obese to leave their sick gaming chair by then
Sadly I heard someone use voip to talk directly to me only once in 200 hours, might just be EU-RU servers.
I had a solo necro tell me "Okay you are better let me go" after I killed him twice and started burning him, he then proceeded to get up and kill me with a concertina bomb and I still wanna die
The funniest I had was when I killed a guy, had to reload and his team mate came rushing at me with a Bomb Lance. Of course I started to run in the direction of my own team mate and this guy running after me, Bomb Lance ready to strike goes:
"Come back here and fight me like a man!"
I hadn't played the game for too long and that somehow made me laugh uncontrollably.
I was trying to level a hunter with a C&K I got prior.
I wiped a team, got the bounty and ran from Salters to Golden.
I hear steps and check to see a new Trio
"Hey guys there is another Bounty, just take it"
Cocky Teamleader "But we want your bounty"
And then they ran in one at a time.
Back when it was in beta or whatever I threw a dynamite stick and it blew off a door and I hear “that was my favorite door you asshole!” Didn’t even know someone was there I was trying to kill a zombie
I had someone yell "My pronouns are Ye/Haw motherfucker" and then jump into the building my team was hiding in. The server then froze and we had a good laugh as we all stared at each other with shotguns in our hands until the server finally booted us all out.
Night map, Duos vs Trios. Me with double hand crossbow & flashlight. Friend goes down, I run back to him and scream "you killed my friend prepare to die!" Shining the flashlight directly at them as I charge with hand xbow. Killed two and died. Worth it.
Other favorites:
"IRS, OPEN THE DOOR NOW!" and then proceed to relentlessly wallbang
"Oh man you scared me, is that you?" pretending that I hear their footsetps misinterpreted as my friends footsteps, than I shoot them.
"Pizza delivery!" , "Anyone order BEES?" , " Hey check out this cool thing I found!" Then throw in
Only time ive had to use voip was when a team chased me and bud around the whole map 3 exact times so on the final loop I pulled out a big dynamite bundle and jumped ontop of them saying “IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED”
I was fighting a dude but he srsly wounded me, I managed to put him down with a lucky shot but his friend chased me down, so I run and he jumps out the window and goes like: "haha i got you now!" *Bang bang bang bang, click click click click* "aaaaaaahhhh sheeeeeet"
Shot him in the face with my penny shot. Said back "thanks for the chuckle partner, ggs.
I once had someone play the gummy bear bear trap scream on a voice board after running into my bear trap. That was funny.
Other one was “you bitches ain’t getting me ali….” And cutting off exactly as he killed himself with an explosive after we killed his teammates. :D
"Hey buddy you just saw me kill 3 squads. It's just me and you and two bounties. Just come get one and don't be stupid" said from inside a complex.
I know not quite as funny but I laughed out loud at how serious this man sounded. Like we were really there and he was some grizzled vet.
Bet I took that deal because I did watch one man run into the bounty and then three teams charge in.
Not sure if this is what you’re looking for but we were playing duos and downed one Hunter and secured the corpse with a concertina bomb. The team mate tried to necro only for the guy to die against instantly. The team mate clearly took great offense to that as VOIP popped on and all we heard was that „*we should go f$ck our fathers, that our mothers had aids because they were wh$ring around…“* and then unfortunately the ramblings got cut short when the teammate (by using his VOIP) gave his position away and ate a shotgun at close range.
I once argued with 2 teams while we were sitting on a concertina hell-hole about tripe stew.
then some german guy tried to sell us on the raw meat sandwich. another went hard to defend the honor of ox tongue. one of my mates said he likes pigears well cooked, they are like "big gummy worms".
I have learned that we all eat something that is disgusting.
since then butcher is a big gummy worm.
Are these german raw meat sandwiches the same thing as "cannibal burgers" (raw burger meat on a roll) in the northern US? Never tried never will. im from the southern US and cow tongue tacos are a Mexican immigrant specialty and they're delicious, I've never had a pig ear that wasn't crunchy, or like chewy but they're chewy the same way beef jerky is not gummy worms that does sound gross lol.
Someone using the Reverend at the start of the round saying "I hope you've done your confessions.. because we're going to sin some more" I may also have been using Hail mary at the time
When things ain’t moving all teams are surrounding the bounty and I want someone to push I’ll just type “Zzzzzzz”.
Then type “ZZZZZZZZzzzzz” people usually get the message and start blasting
We may have ran into the same fella, or there's more sheep sleepers than I'd want to believe so I'm going to chose to believe we ran into the same fella either way.
I killed him and his teammate cause they tried to be sneaky and rush me while we were talking I didn't see their names this was before I knew you could turn off the hide names setting lol. I'm also chronically bad with names I probably wouldn't have remembered anyway. But for the sake of my sanity and faith in humanity it was probably the same person. Those are really fkn funny names for a group to have in this game however, I appreciate the extra context lol.
Best one I have is an interaction I had was in Soul Survivor with a guy camping the watch tower next to Healing Waters Church. He sniped at me while I was approaching and must’ve hit my arm. I get under the tower and heal. The interaction went like this:
Me: “Really ratting it up, in there?”
Him: “I actually just got here.”
Me: “mhmm”
Him: “I don’t need approval from you, pal!”
Me: “Oh you’re going to get it anyway.”
He proceeded to headshot me while I peeked him. No trashtalk afterward from him though. Seemed like a good guy.
One time we were holed up in the compound at salter's pork I think, and this guy with a combat axe goes WOOLOOLOOLOOLOO and busts the door down to charge everyone with an axe. I was laughing so hard, he got the kill and I wasn't even mad.
My buddy and I like to playshotguns, revolver and a bunch of tnt with redneck and rednecks daughter. When we find another team inside fighting a boss we like to ask " hey yall seen my meemah Pa done said she went out looking for a gator and she's been seen round these parts!" While we throw like 6 tnt through the windows. Or if we are defending we go the whole "get off my property I ain't signin no guvment papers!" Or "this house ain't gonna be calling no police!"
I suggest doing the property but on Moses Poultry, since it's actually the Redneck's farm (William Moses). ^^
That's also why his daughter is referred as being "crazy as a wet hen", in her bio.
One time me and my buddy running around and someone texted in chat "i like rusty spoons"
We never find this player and proceed to exit. This was creepy)
My best was being part of a trio, fighting another trio, solo comes in fucks a lotta shit up, kills me, my buddy necros me, buddy dies, I walk around a corner and solo thinks we're all dead
"Well your dogshit trio just got wiped by a solo, sucks to suck."
Walks around the corner into my rival
I don't usually talk shit, but....
I did that time
When you had to use the combat axe to unlock the throwing axes I used to equip two to make myself actually go for the kills and run around banishing compounds making axe puns and loudly proclaiming I had TWO axes. Honestly it worked way better than it should have.
Duo who were clearly higher than Butcher tits tried to convince me to come out of the boss lair by saying they were one solo and wanted to share bounty. Thing is, the other guy kept interjecting and giggling.
The banter was great. Eventually, they fessed up and ended up killing me anyway. Hunt giveth
After looting every conceivable item box in the tri-county area and throwing approximately a half dozen concertina bombs, multiple firebombs, flares, dynamite, you name it into a building during in a 2v1, the last opponent with the bounty finally broke, screaming
*"HOW MUCH SHIT DO YOU HAVE?!"*
I absolutely lost it
"We love casting spells" followed by a poison bolt into the floor under my feet and when they heard my laugh/response "you're a furry too aren't you" friends since.
Saw a Redneck running around with the katana, and after chopping my friend down yelled something to the effect of "You cannot best my thousand fold nipple steel you smelly bird." My friend was running the new Corvid skin for reference. Lol'd so hard I bought the redneck skin myself just to do that kinda dumb shit.
I try and team up with others a lot. One time when I wasn't keeping an eye on the map I stumbled upon a team in the basement of the Chapel.
On VOIP I said "hey guys, wanna team up and take out the bounty team?"
There was a rather long pause then they replied, "We are the bounty team!".
We both burst out laughing and then I offered to join and protect them. I made a wee video of it for my channel.
"I already paid my HOA dues, you're just mad because of the old cars(teammate gets shot)-oh god, oh god! We paid, this is just retaliation becauses of these old ass cars in the yard."
I say: "Yes, yes we are. I dunno what to tell you, you are just letting these things rust. Four of them don't have wheels."
"That's because the wheels were stolen..."
I did survive once in a really funny interaction, I was playing solo and some dude sniped while I was right outside the boss lair after I killed everyone else, since my position wasn't that bad so I decided to revive and was promptly struck down, since I new that was the end of it I tried to revive twice screaming wait wait wait! on coms, at the last bar the dude did wait for a second, while I was screaming " wait a second please, I am already dead, you won, I just wanna go home", dude didn't say a word but let me run away
When we were playing a trio, we came across a solo that got a bounty
He say "Hello I'm friendly" and I respond with "Hi we're not"
Just after one sec we start blasting through walls randomly even If we sure we're not gonna hit him and he start screaming
I never forget that guy
Desperate 3 v 3 with 2 partners down and on fire.
My teammate throws a choke and misses.
Enemy 1: "you missed hahaha"
My partner: "Well, I didn't have any other options"
Enemy 2: "You could have uninstalled the game"
Sometimes i running around and shout "this is a poisone bandit! You are surounded, give up and i do bot harm you" and than shooting poison bolts all over boss building. Few times i did it with two of my teammates. We rearly come out winning, but every time enemies were having fun)
We wiped a lobby and my trio was fucking about in the chimney you can drop down in I forget which compound. choking each other, smacking each other with meds and shit waiting for spider to banish. Buddy 3 kinda wedged us in the chimney then asked why the choke bomb didn't put out his dynamite.
It was wax, he genuinely seems to not have known that waz dynamite can say ignited through chokes. We all died with full bounties and like 8 kills lol
So my quote is "does anyone still hear that haha?"
More of an inside joke quote but I make sure to remind him of it often hehe
My buddy set traps all around testimonial church, and we hear a guy run up and scream "F'ING RUSSIANS"-
and in the middle of saying "russians" he hit a death trap and the mic cut out and died. One of the funniest voip moment I've experienced.
Bout the funniest, to me, I've encounterd was a guy stomping around looking for me yelling "I'M GONNA GET YOU BOI" just to get blasted by my Rival as he came around a corner.
Another guy holed himself up in a room with only one exit, I knew where he and it was, and him saying "I fucken swear if you come near me I'll kill you" just to get blasted by me as he ran out the door.
My favorite was when I was playing trios with two friends, me and one of my friends had both died and a trio had cornered our last guy. They were trying to get him to come out, he was telling them to come in and get him. Finally one of the guys on the enemy team said “I don’t like this cowboy attitude I’m getting from you.” My friend just said “it’s a cowboy game” and stepped out shooting. They gunned him down before he landed a shot, but it felt cool anyway.
One time playing solo there was a single bounty banish going on at lockbay docks. I arrived towards the end of the banish and found a suitable big bush to sit in while I get a feel for the situation. Suddenly everyone starts showing up. I hear footsteps in all directions. One unfortunate soul comes into my bush. He ate a face full of buckshot. His other mates rushed into the bush, ultimately meeting the same fate. Then the bounty team started fighting another team, right outside of my bush. Bounty team was getting roughed up, I started chucking throwing knives. Took the last guy down. Bounty traded hands. They scan. Clear as day, there’s a glowing orange bush right in front of them. I say “I’m just a bush… nothing to see here.” Footsteps start getting closer “I… I’m just A BUSH! IM JUST A BUSH!!!!”
I died
I’m normally asking people if they want to kiss for a parlay.
I also run a robust Hank Hill soundboard that has a lot of responses. People seemed to like it.
Wall banged a guy. He then said ouch, can you not shoot me, that hurts. Only for me to wall bang him again and kill him. Was a fun interaction. Miss you Milky
Nothing funny, my experience is: people slow in the head, drunk/high ramblings while smashing keyboard or annoying sounds.
Most memorable in a fk up way was a war vet getting off kills and talking about his war crimes. I'm talking about some real supremacist shit here. You know, that point when something stops sounding like a joke and becomes real by the sheer amount of detail the other person gives and how racist they are.
Dude, I just wanted to play Hunt not wipe the enemies of the white race and hear about the women prisoners you r*ped and child soldiers you blew up to disgusting detail. I feel Hunt and Tarkov somehow attract supremacists more than you would think.
Besides a small list of pennyshot one liners as Gramma I've sprinted towards an enemy on a whole spectrum of shots armed with a bat screaming "HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON?"
After someone surprised the shit out of me in a failed ambush and I fired back (we both missed):
Me "You scared the *shit* out of me, that's rude!"
Them "*You* scared the *shit* out of *me!*"
Playing as bomb lance Cain
Stick an enemy hunter and in my best swamp goblin voice yell MEAT FOR THE STEW
His teammate said “I’m not doing this” and ran off
Made my night
When approaching a compound with recently banished boss I said " Come out with your hands up and nobody gets hurt" Everyone just laughed on both teams.
I was giving this trio a hard time by fighting back hard as the last survivor of my team. When they finally got me, one of them said: "well played lucius (teammate), these firefights are getting too damn long lately" in the voice of a retired gangster
It wasn’t so much funny as disgusting but I had a guy on my team constantly harass me as a woman saying I sucked and all manner of gross things. One thing I remember specifically was “Hey Kayla, do you think if we had babies they’d be r*t*rd*d?” He and I also went down at one point and I didn’t thank him when our teammate picked us up. He got his panties in a twist about it and I said it’s cause I don’t like him lol
I was with the bounty at Pork Heritage. A guy was hiding in the small cottage connected to the main building via the small footbridge, and I'm waiting behind the door of that footbridge in the main building.
His mate his dead, mine too, so we negotiate. He says he wants to rez his mate behind the door, and asks me to not shoot, and he promises they will go extract.
I said ok.
He comes.
I open the door.
He looks at me. He sees the baseball that that I'm firmly holding with my two hands.
After his death I just said in VoIP that technically I didn't lie.
Rezzed my mate and extracted for the win.
I go “I hear you outside, you better not come in here” He says “not uh, no you don’t” We both laughed, I hear some gun fire and someone die I go “you still out there buddy” New guy goes “oh you fucking wish”
I've definitely said that and gotten killed but that's probably coincidence cause I like making jokes and tend to get killed after making noise and am probably not the only one.
I’m still always a fan of getting kills with pennyshot and saying ”Keep the change ya filthy animal.”
I personally just yell "CHA CHING!" if I get a pennyshot kill
"Yep I think it's time to cash out". I said this once and my friends told me to shut up
Keep tha change ya filthy animal
Yep I’ve ran into you before, moments later my friend killed you, this was probably like 4 months ago +. My friend to this day still says it when he gets penny shot kills.
I matched with a French guy yesterday and his English was pretty bad, my French equally so. We managed to get “OUI OUI BAGUETTE” to be a signal for enemies, and the rest of the time we both just shouted random words we knew in each others language. I was saying “horse” “duck” “I’m sorry” “I love you” and all the other guy knew was “Baby” and “Oh yeahh” and “Horse” pronounced “Orrhse” in the most French accent ever. Great time. I added him to my amis list.
Oui, oui, baguette - has to be such a battle cry *stork victory clacking*
Next time try "bon dieu de merde" if everything go to hell. You'll impress the shit out of your new French friend.
I'm not a trash talker, quite the contrary, but when we overcome a very passive team (who wait 20 minutes in the bushes around the boss or at the extraction) I like to toggle my microphone to say a little “thank for not playing”
I usually just rage bait them, like 2 days ago I kept calling this team pussies and when they finally responded my friend immediatly 1 tapped them through a wall since he heard they voice
I've had people pretend their old prohibition style cops making a bust yelling to come out with the classic old movies transatlantic accent
They're. Stupid autocorrect
you can edit comments
Some people have gotten mad that I edited my comment so now I just don't. I don't even know how someone can tell if a comment was edited
there’s like a 50/50 chance if I voip at an enemy I am immediately called a bitch or cunt or something of that caliber so that’s always super fun for me personally
Really? Majority of the time I get silence or humor back. The worst is when they voip your corpse though. I try to be nice to the people I kill though.
I keep voip on cause I play randoms but I make it a point to turn on mute voip on death because what I don’t hear cannot hurt me lol
Misogyny is a thing u know
The downvotes are a stark reminder that there are a good proportion of incels around... Hurt me with downvotes, baby!
People in here acting like women aren't getting harassed 50% of the time they say anything in voip online.
I don’t doubt that it happens, but I don’t see why it’s a huge deal. Everyone gets shittalked in games. I have a very southern accent and when I talk in game chat everyone calls me a dumb redneck and asks if I f my sister. Doesn’t bother me though I usually just laugh at them.
Nice that you don't care but there are more than enough people that hate being harassed based on their sex or other things that define them. What kind of argument is that
Yeah it sucks. I'm surprised it's that low. Like I said, just hope it stays in a game and doesn't turn into a dude driving a van into a bunch of people
that must suck. gotta rub it in when you kill them then.
For future quoting when talking to dead bodies a study showed that there was a strong correlation between misogyny and lack if skill in video games Men that don't suck at video games are usually not bothered by the eventuality of dying to a woman Or maybe its easier to aim when you are not holding your VoIP key and yelling swears at the same time
Damn, dont hog all the fun
If it makes you feel any better, you know that the best thing these guys have going on in their life right now is whatever video game they have in front of them, and that they'll likely die alone Or alternatively, that they get even more radicalized and drive a van into a bunch of people, but let's hope they'll be too obese to leave their sick gaming chair by then
why would that make anyone feel better that's all really sad
Sadly I heard someone use voip to talk directly to me only once in 200 hours, might just be EU-RU servers. I had a solo necro tell me "Okay you are better let me go" after I killed him twice and started burning him, he then proceeded to get up and kill me with a concertina bomb and I still wanna die
US servers talk A LOT. They are fun.
200 hours in, prolly talked once in EU West
The funniest I had was when I killed a guy, had to reload and his team mate came rushing at me with a Bomb Lance. Of course I started to run in the direction of my own team mate and this guy running after me, Bomb Lance ready to strike goes: "Come back here and fight me like a man!" I hadn't played the game for too long and that somehow made me laugh uncontrollably.
"Nee hee hee hee..." -Crazy Granny
I was trying to level a hunter with a C&K I got prior. I wiped a team, got the bounty and ran from Salters to Golden. I hear steps and check to see a new Trio "Hey guys there is another Bounty, just take it" Cocky Teamleader "But we want your bounty" And then they ran in one at a time.
Back when it was in beta or whatever I threw a dynamite stick and it blew off a door and I hear “that was my favorite door you asshole!” Didn’t even know someone was there I was trying to kill a zombie
I had someone yell "My pronouns are Ye/Haw motherfucker" and then jump into the building my team was hiding in. The server then froze and we had a good laugh as we all stared at each other with shotguns in our hands until the server finally booted us all out.
Dunno. I got tired of getting told I suck and am a loser as a casual player so I disabled voip altogether. Life got better after that.
Ignorance is bliss I guess haha
I suppose so.
Night map, Duos vs Trios. Me with double hand crossbow & flashlight. Friend goes down, I run back to him and scream "you killed my friend prepare to die!" Shining the flashlight directly at them as I charge with hand xbow. Killed two and died. Worth it. Other favorites: "IRS, OPEN THE DOOR NOW!" and then proceed to relentlessly wallbang "Oh man you scared me, is that you?" pretending that I hear their footsetps misinterpreted as my friends footsteps, than I shoot them. "Pizza delivery!" , "Anyone order BEES?" , " Hey check out this cool thing I found!" Then throw in
Don’t remember what exactly was said but someone called me Samurai Jack before I killed them with a katana. (I was the Ronin at the time.)
Only time ive had to use voip was when a team chased me and bud around the whole map 3 exact times so on the final loop I pulled out a big dynamite bundle and jumped ontop of them saying “IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED”
Nice 😂
The cringiest thing I hear is "you're bad you're bad uninstall get out of my lobby".
I was fighting a dude but he srsly wounded me, I managed to put him down with a lucky shot but his friend chased me down, so I run and he jumps out the window and goes like: "haha i got you now!" *Bang bang bang bang, click click click click* "aaaaaaahhhh sheeeeeet" Shot him in the face with my penny shot. Said back "thanks for the chuckle partner, ggs.
I once had someone play the gummy bear bear trap scream on a voice board after running into my bear trap. That was funny. Other one was “you bitches ain’t getting me ali….” And cutting off exactly as he killed himself with an explosive after we killed his teammates. :D
"Hey buddy you just saw me kill 3 squads. It's just me and you and two bounties. Just come get one and don't be stupid" said from inside a complex. I know not quite as funny but I laughed out loud at how serious this man sounded. Like we were really there and he was some grizzled vet. Bet I took that deal because I did watch one man run into the bounty and then three teams charge in.
I'm gonna booglarize you, baby
I hereby demand your peaceful and lawful surrender
Not sure if this is what you’re looking for but we were playing duos and downed one Hunter and secured the corpse with a concertina bomb. The team mate tried to necro only for the guy to die against instantly. The team mate clearly took great offense to that as VOIP popped on and all we heard was that „*we should go f$ck our fathers, that our mothers had aids because they were wh$ring around…“* and then unfortunately the ramblings got cut short when the teammate (by using his VOIP) gave his position away and ate a shotgun at close range.
I once argued with 2 teams while we were sitting on a concertina hell-hole about tripe stew. then some german guy tried to sell us on the raw meat sandwich. another went hard to defend the honor of ox tongue. one of my mates said he likes pigears well cooked, they are like "big gummy worms". I have learned that we all eat something that is disgusting. since then butcher is a big gummy worm.
Bro raw meat sandwich is delicious, try Mettbrötchen if you ever visit.
Are these german raw meat sandwiches the same thing as "cannibal burgers" (raw burger meat on a roll) in the northern US? Never tried never will. im from the southern US and cow tongue tacos are a Mexican immigrant specialty and they're delicious, I've never had a pig ear that wasn't crunchy, or like chewy but they're chewy the same way beef jerky is not gummy worms that does sound gross lol.
Someone I duo with frequently apologizes to solo-necros whenever we sit there waiting for them to self-res while they burn out
Someone using the Reverend at the start of the round saying "I hope you've done your confessions.. because we're going to sin some more" I may also have been using Hail mary at the time
When things ain’t moving all teams are surrounding the bounty and I want someone to push I’ll just type “Zzzzzzz”. Then type “ZZZZZZZZzzzzz” people usually get the message and start blasting
In a standoff at Pitching, a dude explained to me the proper way to boink a sheep.
We may have ran into the same fella, or there's more sheep sleepers than I'd want to believe so I'm going to chose to believe we ran into the same fella either way.
His name was easy to remember! Barry McCockinner, and his teammates Larry and Gary!
I killed him and his teammate cause they tried to be sneaky and rush me while we were talking I didn't see their names this was before I knew you could turn off the hide names setting lol. I'm also chronically bad with names I probably wouldn't have remembered anyway. But for the sake of my sanity and faith in humanity it was probably the same person. Those are really fkn funny names for a group to have in this game however, I appreciate the extra context lol.
Best one I have is an interaction I had was in Soul Survivor with a guy camping the watch tower next to Healing Waters Church. He sniped at me while I was approaching and must’ve hit my arm. I get under the tower and heal. The interaction went like this: Me: “Really ratting it up, in there?” Him: “I actually just got here.” Me: “mhmm” Him: “I don’t need approval from you, pal!” Me: “Oh you’re going to get it anyway.” He proceeded to headshot me while I peeked him. No trashtalk afterward from him though. Seemed like a good guy.
One time we were holed up in the compound at salter's pork I think, and this guy with a combat axe goes WOOLOOLOOLOOLOO and busts the door down to charge everyone with an axe. I was laughing so hard, he got the kill and I wasn't even mad.
My buddy and I like to playshotguns, revolver and a bunch of tnt with redneck and rednecks daughter. When we find another team inside fighting a boss we like to ask " hey yall seen my meemah Pa done said she went out looking for a gator and she's been seen round these parts!" While we throw like 6 tnt through the windows. Or if we are defending we go the whole "get off my property I ain't signin no guvment papers!" Or "this house ain't gonna be calling no police!"
I suggest doing the property but on Moses Poultry, since it's actually the Redneck's farm (William Moses). ^^ That's also why his daughter is referred as being "crazy as a wet hen", in her bio.
Lol hell yeah guess I know what I'm doing tonight instead of the pirate loadout for the memes
One time me and my buddy running around and someone texted in chat "i like rusty spoons" We never find this player and proceed to exit. This was creepy)
Good thing you never found him. That was salad fingers.
My best was being part of a trio, fighting another trio, solo comes in fucks a lotta shit up, kills me, my buddy necros me, buddy dies, I walk around a corner and solo thinks we're all dead "Well your dogshit trio just got wiped by a solo, sucks to suck." Walks around the corner into my rival I don't usually talk shit, but.... I did that time
I get real close to my mic and whisper, “I can hear you…”
When you had to use the combat axe to unlock the throwing axes I used to equip two to make myself actually go for the kills and run around banishing compounds making axe puns and loudly proclaiming I had TWO axes. Honestly it worked way better than it should have.
Now I wish you could dual wield axes berserker style
Duo who were clearly higher than Butcher tits tried to convince me to come out of the boss lair by saying they were one solo and wanted to share bounty. Thing is, the other guy kept interjecting and giggling. The banter was great. Eventually, they fessed up and ended up killing me anyway. Hunt giveth
After looting every conceivable item box in the tri-county area and throwing approximately a half dozen concertina bombs, multiple firebombs, flares, dynamite, you name it into a building during in a 2v1, the last opponent with the bounty finally broke, screaming *"HOW MUCH SHIT DO YOU HAVE?!"* I absolutely lost it
"We love casting spells" followed by a poison bolt into the floor under my feet and when they heard my laugh/response "you're a furry too aren't you" friends since.
I was suicidally rushing a guy with my katana and he started shouting in a german accent "Don't do it man! Don't do it!" over and over.
Saw a Redneck running around with the katana, and after chopping my friend down yelled something to the effect of "You cannot best my thousand fold nipple steel you smelly bird." My friend was running the new Corvid skin for reference. Lol'd so hard I bought the redneck skin myself just to do that kinda dumb shit.
I try and team up with others a lot. One time when I wasn't keeping an eye on the map I stumbled upon a team in the basement of the Chapel. On VOIP I said "hey guys, wanna team up and take out the bounty team?" There was a rather long pause then they replied, "We are the bounty team!". We both burst out laughing and then I offered to join and protect them. I made a wee video of it for my channel.
Era um homen ou mulher? -azul *tomo um headshot*
“Let’s team up, I have my medkit out…”
"I like killing kids" (referring to the skin "The Kid")
"I already paid my HOA dues, you're just mad because of the old cars(teammate gets shot)-oh god, oh god! We paid, this is just retaliation becauses of these old ass cars in the yard." I say: "Yes, yes we are. I dunno what to tell you, you are just letting these things rust. Four of them don't have wheels." "That's because the wheels were stolen..."
people run mostly discord for coms so nothing note wordy, just some friendly people passing by
I did survive once in a really funny interaction, I was playing solo and some dude sniped while I was right outside the boss lair after I killed everyone else, since my position wasn't that bad so I decided to revive and was promptly struck down, since I new that was the end of it I tried to revive twice screaming wait wait wait! on coms, at the last bar the dude did wait for a second, while I was screaming " wait a second please, I am already dead, you won, I just wanna go home", dude didn't say a word but let me run away
When we were playing a trio, we came across a solo that got a bounty He say "Hello I'm friendly" and I respond with "Hi we're not" Just after one sec we start blasting through walls randomly even If we sure we're not gonna hit him and he start screaming I never forget that guy
Desperate 3 v 3 with 2 partners down and on fire. My teammate throws a choke and misses. Enemy 1: "you missed hahaha" My partner: "Well, I didn't have any other options" Enemy 2: "You could have uninstalled the game"
Sometimes i running around and shout "this is a poisone bandit! You are surounded, give up and i do bot harm you" and than shooting poison bolts all over boss building. Few times i did it with two of my teammates. We rearly come out winning, but every time enemies were having fun)
We wiped a lobby and my trio was fucking about in the chimney you can drop down in I forget which compound. choking each other, smacking each other with meds and shit waiting for spider to banish. Buddy 3 kinda wedged us in the chimney then asked why the choke bomb didn't put out his dynamite. It was wax, he genuinely seems to not have known that waz dynamite can say ignited through chokes. We all died with full bounties and like 8 kills lol So my quote is "does anyone still hear that haha?" More of an inside joke quote but I make sure to remind him of it often hehe
My buddy set traps all around testimonial church, and we hear a guy run up and scream "F'ING RUSSIANS"- and in the middle of saying "russians" he hit a death trap and the mic cut out and died. One of the funniest voip moment I've experienced.
Bout the funniest, to me, I've encounterd was a guy stomping around looking for me yelling "I'M GONNA GET YOU BOI" just to get blasted by my Rival as he came around a corner. Another guy holed himself up in a room with only one exit, I knew where he and it was, and him saying "I fucken swear if you come near me I'll kill you" just to get blasted by me as he ran out the door.
"Oh bro look out behind you!" as he runs up behind my unaware player and promptly slices me with a bomb lance.
My favorite was when I was playing trios with two friends, me and one of my friends had both died and a trio had cornered our last guy. They were trying to get him to come out, he was telling them to come in and get him. Finally one of the guys on the enemy team said “I don’t like this cowboy attitude I’m getting from you.” My friend just said “it’s a cowboy game” and stepped out shooting. They gunned him down before he landed a shot, but it felt cool anyway.
Lol when I run solo I'm in game chat, I've heard people in game ask "Anyone in this compound?" I've replied with classic lines such as "nope".
One time playing solo there was a single bounty banish going on at lockbay docks. I arrived towards the end of the banish and found a suitable big bush to sit in while I get a feel for the situation. Suddenly everyone starts showing up. I hear footsteps in all directions. One unfortunate soul comes into my bush. He ate a face full of buckshot. His other mates rushed into the bush, ultimately meeting the same fate. Then the bounty team started fighting another team, right outside of my bush. Bounty team was getting roughed up, I started chucking throwing knives. Took the last guy down. Bounty traded hands. They scan. Clear as day, there’s a glowing orange bush right in front of them. I say “I’m just a bush… nothing to see here.” Footsteps start getting closer “I… I’m just A BUSH! IM JUST A BUSH!!!!” I died
I’m normally asking people if they want to kiss for a parlay. I also run a robust Hank Hill soundboard that has a lot of responses. People seemed to like it.
Wall banged a guy. He then said ouch, can you not shoot me, that hurts. Only for me to wall bang him again and kill him. Was a fun interaction. Miss you Milky
Nothing funny, my experience is: people slow in the head, drunk/high ramblings while smashing keyboard or annoying sounds. Most memorable in a fk up way was a war vet getting off kills and talking about his war crimes. I'm talking about some real supremacist shit here. You know, that point when something stops sounding like a joke and becomes real by the sheer amount of detail the other person gives and how racist they are. Dude, I just wanted to play Hunt not wipe the enemies of the white race and hear about the women prisoners you r*ped and child soldiers you blew up to disgusting detail. I feel Hunt and Tarkov somehow attract supremacists more than you would think.
Besides a small list of pennyshot one liners as Gramma I've sprinted towards an enemy on a whole spectrum of shots armed with a bat screaming "HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON?"
After someone surprised the shit out of me in a failed ambush and I fired back (we both missed): Me "You scared the *shit* out of me, that's rude!" Them "*You* scared the *shit* out of *me!*"
Playing as bomb lance Cain Stick an enemy hunter and in my best swamp goblin voice yell MEAT FOR THE STEW His teammate said “I’m not doing this” and ran off Made my night
When approaching a compound with recently banished boss I said " Come out with your hands up and nobody gets hurt" Everyone just laughed on both teams.
I was giving this trio a hard time by fighting back hard as the last survivor of my team. When they finally got me, one of them said: "well played lucius (teammate), these firefights are getting too damn long lately" in the voice of a retired gangster
Anytime I enter a compound and there are people holed up with the bounty I will yell "YOU HAVE SOMETHING I WANT" from moff Gideon
It wasn’t so much funny as disgusting but I had a guy on my team constantly harass me as a woman saying I sucked and all manner of gross things. One thing I remember specifically was “Hey Kayla, do you think if we had babies they’d be r*t*rd*d?” He and I also went down at one point and I didn’t thank him when our teammate picked us up. He got his panties in a twist about it and I said it’s cause I don’t like him lol
Yeah you shouldn't like him. AFAIC that kind of shitbag can just play by themselves.
Guy named detrov: i gotta shit i'm sorry Then he went afk
“Fucking dick head”
I was with the bounty at Pork Heritage. A guy was hiding in the small cottage connected to the main building via the small footbridge, and I'm waiting behind the door of that footbridge in the main building. His mate his dead, mine too, so we negotiate. He says he wants to rez his mate behind the door, and asks me to not shoot, and he promises they will go extract. I said ok. He comes. I open the door. He looks at me. He sees the baseball that that I'm firmly holding with my two hands. After his death I just said in VoIP that technically I didn't lie. Rezzed my mate and extracted for the win.