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Sea_Department_2146

![gif](giphy|WpaYOAkEKYuaXdcWQp|downsized)


detroiter85

Sorry, your tears were unexpected. Sometimes I find them very arousing.


chzygorditacrnch

I'm crying about my missing dog ass hole!


EnvironmentalPack451

Is the rest of the dog missing also?


_NightmareKingGrimm_

Punctuation is *so* important.


Long_Lost_Testicle

Helped your Uncle Jack off a horse


EnvironmentalPack451

Because his hands were too small to do it alone?


Sea_Department_2146

Do you have a picture of your dog? Mmmhmmm. OH SHIT!


chzygorditacrnch

Poppins!


Neat_Office_5408

He can go from flaccid to erect at a moments notice


JasonDomber

Flaccid. Erect. Flaccid. Erect.


automoth

Not too hard. Not too soft.


Cityco

Doin’ a little East Coast swing


costcosasuke

Its crazy how quotable this show is, and how fluid & interchangeable they all are to create a bit like this. In a lot of ways IAS reminds me a lot of Community. Must not be a coincidence they both had Megan Ganz writing


Cityco

2003-2017 had the best sitcom writing teams ever post-Seinfeld. Always Sunny, Community, Scrubs, 30 Rock, Peep Show and Detroiters are some banger shows


ADeadWeirdCarnie

With a tiny little barbell on the head.


EatToLiveLetsGO

Oh the implications!


UndeadBuggalo

It’s true! I’ve seen it!


DENNIS_SYSTEM69

I thought the crying was hot!


InformalPenguinz

![gif](giphy|XeLSj9O957HIeeBj43|downsized)


hermeigh

Better go inside. Don't like to see her struggle.


TheJuiceIsL00se

It’s too much! *smashes beer glass*


ReluctantRedditor275

His instant rage in that scene makes me laugh out loud every single time.


DirtybutCuteFerret

![gif](giphy|mFBPZuzrV0nT2zHQl3|downsized)


steins-grape

Can you at least acknowledge the fact that men should have some say in what women do with their hair?


DirtybutCuteFerret

The scissors were dirty and not even sharp. But now it's over. There is no going back. What have I done?


zestfullybe

Listen, listen, it looks… *terrible*. I mean, really really bad.


ChangsFoogTrugDryver

What have i done. I’ve forced my sister into a back alley chop.


Aldo-D-D-Wilson

Dee, stop being som emotional.


Riley1297

Her hair looks small


DChristy87

I bet she's wearing two perfumes.


ReluctantRedditor275

I thought she was wearing like some sort of comedy hat.


Wafflemir

![gif](giphy|S7F5LghjQTiNZyWKBo)


MuteSecurityO

I’m no goon!


connorgrs

Who else would be the goon?


MisterMcGiggles

Very goonish.


mantis_tobagan_md

I’m getting goon vibes


BigCockCandyMountain

I'm not the God damn goon!!! I'm wearing lingerie!


Darkarch27

You’re a goon in a nightie.


8-BitToaster

Maybe that’s your murder weapon.


ThreeLeggedMare

I loved this episode


timeisaflat-circle

https://preview.redd.it/36fv8nxm9b6d1.png?width=620&format=png&auto=webp&s=cd1dbf2ad098056af95e362051fac4fb52884c76


Smorgas_Bord

That’s a bullshit haircut!


Coryjacobtrevorson

I don't really care.


TacoDangerously

IT'S TOO MUCH!!


dickdrizzle

Very much a Dennis type of person. https://www.thedailybeast.com/conservative-pundit-elijah-schaffer-fired-from-the-blaze-after-sexual-assault-accusation?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR2NhsHIOH5yGAhWmANu_oMoPhPrcGW-qbhouneixNvJ7B8qy7RG7C5VETw_aem_Afa6AX44OkMFiofhcamQLZaBGHcBT2bPM67PuEsyeDeFeuUgBrT4raFW75hpv39zfKW-OwaU6Gy_pHhxEHyjStje


[deleted]

He sexually assaults women *and* calls them females?? He sounds like a catch!


dickdrizzle

HE'S A FIVE STAR MAN!


Superman246o1

THE GOLDEN GOD!


golden-god-bot

IT'S FETISH SHIT, I LIKE TO BIND! I LIKE TO BEEEEEE BOUND! THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, DON'T ASK ME QUESTIONS! I'M NOT TAKING QUESTIONS!


corntorteeya

Tools!


dickdrizzle

I've gotta have my tools!


Waftmaster

Pretty sure the venn diagram there is just a circle


giveme-a-username

AND TRIES TO CONTROL WHAT HAIRCUTS THEY GET


colluphid42

Yeah... holding the gang's opinion on anything in real life is a huge red flag. Not surprising this guy sucks.


OKatmostthings

Their music opinions aren’t awful… Steve Winwood, Biz Markie, Boyz II Men, etc.


DChristy87

Lol, they write characters who are absurd. If you match their opinion IRL, you're definitely an IDIOT and a SAVAGE!!


ZebunkMunk

![gif](giphy|U2MJe73aFlhMElLNnn|downsized)


TheJaybo

People who refer to women as females should be arrested.


BlackLeader70

I don’t take any man seriously who calls a woman a “female”.


MrSmock

I've honestly never heard this before - is this a thing? I always thought "female" was a little weirder of a word to use but is it offensive? Genuinely asking, not trying to instigate an argument.


BlackLeader70

It wasn’t offensive but until neckbeards and the Andrew Tate “alpha bros” started using "female" as a noun instead of an adjective. “That female over there” vs “That woman over there” You can say “A female pilot is somewhat rare but becoming less so” and it sounds normal in that context.


CatFoodBeerAndGlue

Female as an adjective is fine, female as a noun (outside of a clinical setting) is weird.


kakawisNOTlaw

This is how I view it. Like I would say "the male/female doctor" but not say "that female/male over there".


TheDumbass0

I would say it wasn't really that weird before the neckbeards started using it if you were trying to emphasize the gender of the person for whatever reason but I don't live in an English speaking country so idk.


elykl33t

It's also that they rarely say "male". So they'll say "men who do xyz" for example, but then say "females who do abc". So it's inconsistent and usually purposely "othering" or dehumanizing.


RegalBeagleKegels

r/menandfemales


pizzapartyjones

That’s what gets me. If they use both “male” and “female,” I assume that’s just how they talk. But “man” and “female” is a red flag. Like you say, it’s dehumanizing.


capthazelwoodsflask

And you really have to lay into the 'e' in females, too. Pronounce it fEEmales with the same inflection as '2 wars?'.


HRduffNstuff

![gif](giphy|TjYl3otLCTRc0KFeC0|downsized) I always picture these guys when people use female as a noun


Barl0we

You gotta listen to how they refer to men. If it’s men and females, you got a weirdo for sure. If it’s males and females, you’ll need to perform an ocular pat down to find out if they’re a weirdo or a Jabroni. [Edit] there’s like a 99% chance any man who refers to women as “females” is a real CHUD though 😂


cudipi

Incels have taken to calling women that to dehumanize them, unfortunately. Female and Male refer to the sex of every living creature, so calling a woman just a female tends to reduce her just to her genitalia in those cases.


MrSmock

Ok.. I guess I could see that. I think I'm just a bit detached from social media in general so I'm not really exposed to that line of thinking.


rkincaid007

Sir, this is Reddit


jzzanthapuss

The word itself is fine, but for whatever reason, men who use it are pretty much never saying something positive about said female(s)


mokush7414

It wouldn't be offensive if it wasn't mainly misogynists and they used males and females instead of men and females.


itwasbread

It’s not an offensive word in the sense that like a slur is, but when guys like this use it almost exclusively to refer to women it’s because of weird bio-essentialism sexists stuff. “Female” sounds more cold and scientific than “Woman”, so they use the former to talk about all these made up gender roles and evil things that women supposedly inherently do as if they were describing some other species


MrSmock

I wish people weren't so prone to being awful to each other.


PeggyHillFan

It’s only acceptable to use as an adjective. Neckbeards call men men and women females. Like they’re dehumanizing them


Hateitwhenbdbdsj

I’ll try and take a shot at this. Imo it depends. Like if you’re describing a person, saying “short female looking about ~60”, I don’t think it’s offensive because it’s purely descriptive. When people refer to women as females, it’s reductive because it implies or sounds like all the woman is, is her sex, ie a female. And that’s quite annoying because women have been and are still constantly objectified and treated as second class citizens in a lot of places in a lot of ways. Like in this post where this misogynist idiot says ‘females’ should be arrested for doing this, like no fuck off dude, you’re just an angry insecure woman hater.


BiscuitsJoe

Even your acceptable example is still wrong. Purely descriptive should say “short woman” because that’s the proper grammar. Which brings us back to “anyone who uses ‘female’ as a noun is either dumb or a creep”


AllWillBeOkaySoon

How is short female improper grammar ?


Accomplished-Ad-3836

Female is used specifically as a way of dehumanising women. You can have a female animal, but you can't have a woman animal. It originally was used specifically for black women but has now reached wider use in the misogynistic community as a way to hurt all women


Accomplished-Ad-3836

Specifically when it's used on its own, to just refer to a woman.


MeatFit1822

Yeah, those stupid science bitches can't even say woman...


l3reezer

Damn, scientists catching strays all because incels wanted to sound smarter than they actually are


PlaguedByUnderwear

What about those of us who call them females but pronounce it like tamales?


maaderbeinhof

You keep using this word, fe-maah-lays? And it's *awesome!*


erin---

Whenever I read "females" in my head it sounds like "tamales".


mikevanatta

It's such an obvious dog whistle for misogyny.


randomredditing

I had a date with a girl once who referred to other women as “females” and it threw me for a loop ![gif](giphy|tc3Z37UeRGWUBYROMV)


bagelwithclocks

Femcel behavior.


StrawberryPlucky

Lol he's referring to her as a female while also saying she should be arrested for making herself less attractive in his eyes. Doesn't get much less humanizing than that.


cXs808

It is with 100% certainty that anyone who uses the word "female" in lieu of woman/girl is going to be one of the biggest dumbasses/douchebags you'll ever meet.


picyourbrain

And blasted in the balls with a battering ram


Lysol3435

At least banished from the internet and left to wallow in their celibacy


BoutTreeFittee

I don't understand this. Is this a millennial thing? Why is "woman" better? I'm seriously asking, and am not trying to be confrontational. I feel out of touch with the zeitgeist. I'm an older guy, and I've always mostly said "males" and "females," like biologists do for animals. I'm truly ready to change the language I grew up with in order to help other people not get offended, and I done that before. But I just want to understand what's going on here. I see someone else mentioning that some ultra-conservatives have taken to emphasizing the word "female" a lot? And maybe that's the reason it is becoming taboo? I asked a very liberal friend (I am also liberal) if "female" was a bad word now, and she said not so far as she is concerned, but that she too noticed that some young people were attaching negative meaning to it.


ridititidido2000

Frodomaxxing


Mufti_Menk

It's crazy how much her face changes from the haircut


MrSmock

I can tell I'm not awake yet. Because for WAY TOO LONG I though this was an image of conjoined twins at their shoulders and a "Monkey cut" somehow referred to cutting them apart and people were getting up in arms as to whether it was ethical to separate them. Then I realized it was a haircut. That being said, the haircut looks fine. She looks ready to get a job as a waitress now.


bagelwithclocks

Terrible, take a lap


ADeadWeirdCarnie

A monkey cut is what you get when you get when your surgeon has had a couple of monkey beers.


PiskoWK

A woman has a RIGHT to chop!


ElkInternational5141

this dude literally just got fired for sexual assault


simpledeadwitches

Short hair don't care


Macewol

ITS TOO MUCH


SadP0tat018

I could be so wrong, but she kinda looks like the Waitress. Not 1 for 1 with Mary Elizabeth Ellis, but has a bit of a look of her.


NerrvousSubject

I thought so too. Was looking for this comment


SadP0tat018

So it not just me and my donkey brains? (Trick question, I know I have donkey brains.)


mearbearcate

You dont get a monkey cut like that unless youre broken inside


menlindorn

are you talking to me?


mearbearcate

No, sweetie, I’m talking about you.


clearlybraindead

I support your choice to look like whatever kind of primate or simian species you choose, because it is your choice!


menlindorn

*slinks away...*


iwishiwasaunicorn

#LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO ME!!


alchemist23

Referring to girls as females, now that should get you arrested


a_gentle_savage

Yes, arrest all women with short hair because it makes me question my sexuality. -This guy


DrKarda

Lol she actually does look way better with the short hair though imo /serious


RedAnihilape

I really like short haired women


Original_Bet_9302

Take a lap


fuggerdug

Thanks dad


Yurvurst_Knightmer

I'm not your dad


Im_inappropriate

Manic Pixie Girl in my attraction DNA


Shrekquille_Oneal

Same, also think most men look better with longer hair. We really fucked up on assigning gender roles on that one


KevinStoley

/r/FierceFlow I'm a guy with very long hair and I love it, especially because it stands out from the norm. So many guys go with the current trends, like the broccoli cut you see so many guys with these days. I don't know why more guys don't grow their hair out, I often get compliments from ladies when I'm out shopping or something.


NCMN

Baldness is why. If I don't get regular haircuts I start to look like a mix between the crypt keeper and Ewan Mcgregors character in Fargo


world-class-cheese

My wife loves my long hair :)


KevinStoley

https://youtu.be/sw223MKvSE8?t=239


dudSpudson

Take a lap


Background-Sir-4503

No it actually fits her face so well😭


cudipi

It totally brings out her cheeks and longer neck. She looks so good with it compared to longer hair.


KevinStoley

I usually love the pixie style cut, some ladies look really good with it. It doesn't always suit everyone though.


Barbz182

Definitely suits her


LanaSwiftFan

disagree 


Orange_Tang

Good thing it's not your head then!


Thee_implication

***A Woman’s Right to Chop***


No-Consequence4099

i dont know if my opinion matters, but i like her best with short hair, it suits her


giveme-a-username

I don't think this guy is in any position to be picky about what "females" he's interested in


dullship

"FEEEEMAAAALES" Like you had a chance either way, loser.


Kind-Frosting-8268

It's hilarious that he chose a pic of a girl who actually looks better with the pixie cut to make his point.


JohnVanVenker

She looks adorable with short hair. It draws attention to her gorgeous wide-set eyes.


Eayauapa

Now, I've been thinking *fish* lately...


huntersam13

If these women want to run around looking like a simian, thats their right!


Flowchart83

Well, it's kind of hard for them not to. All humans are simians.


Merijeek2

There's two stages to women's thoughts about their hair: 1. I'm thinking about getting bangs 2. I hate my bangs so I'm growing my hair out


Thisisamazing1234

I dig it


Great_White_Samurai

The kind of guy that has "tools" in his truck.


ZeadizDead

Short-haired women are hot.


Felled_spirits

I'm convinced straight guys don't actually like women at this point


scotishstriker

I think this man may be a misogynist. Women aren't objects whose job is to please men, that definition is a fleshlight. This guy must be familiar with those.


BalkeElvinstien

Jokes aside I actually really like girls with short hair, in fact some might say to a concerning degree


Electrical_Fun5942

“Females” The second that word get used you know where it’s going


GentlmanSkeleton

"Hey. We got monkey."


knightress_oxhide

It's a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough!


mtheory007

Dont worry, Z can fix you up.


Enkaybee

She's cute enough to pull it off.


Odd_Marsupial3653

I think it’s an improvement honestly. She looks happier at least


maroonmenace

Eli, receding hairline, Schaffer with another shit opinion


WeAreClouds

Wow, she looks absolutely phenomenal with that pixie cut like WOW.


RedsDeadWhosZed

![gif](giphy|Th4Ohf9GkmbpxFrswp|downsized)


upvotegoblin

Both are cute


Sheriff42

She looks better!!!!!


TeejyHamz

It's making my valve back up


SUPER-FUNNY

I was looking for a comment about a women's right to chop on this posted elsewhere


22pabloesco22

My Maureen, you’ve enhanced yourself 


romayyne

She a baddie either way fr


chrundlethegreat303

Have you ever seen the girl from felicity? After she got that done , she was never even heard from ever again……


KoreanStrib

![gif](giphy|iXavDeWv3oLWE)


Gorstag

How dare they make themselves more sexy.


EatYourCheckers

My daughter has an appointment to get a Monkey Cut on June 29th! I forgot about this episode - will get my husband to re-watch it with me


GnomeSayinnnnn

I WOULD LIKE A HAIRCUT


AdebayoStan

Arrest them. The prison is my room.


deekaydubya

lol shots at the waitress


mtheory007

ITS TOO MUCH!!!!


elray007

One hundred percent disagree. I haven't to think some chicks look hot like this.


DarthMonkMonk69

I don’t have to face OR the body for it!


hollllow

Lol


Balla1928Aus

The hair is on the head. The hair is a lie. And therefore it’s better to just remove the head entirely.


Dancer_182

“You won’t outsmart me!”


tennoskoom_

I wish I have enough hair to pull that off.


PM5C

It's funny because I think this particular woman actually looks better with the short hair. But I'm not a Golden God™️,so who cares what I think.


golden-god-bot

I AM THE KING OF THE MINIONS, NOT TIM MURPHY! NOT THAT JERK-OFF IDIOT JERK-OFF!


CaseyAnthonysMouth

She wears it well…👀


Legitimate-Sea-4679

This is why many women choose the bear. That episode was so spot on at the irrational anger and possession that some men feel toward women.


WealthEconomy

Do what? Cut their hair?


Kraxnor

"Females"


pizzaloversa

short hair is beautifull. ive had short hair like this and its a vibe. grew back to


Yahla

Grew back to what?


pizzaloversa

grew back tonthe way it was before i cut it