Collect evidence silently and keep them safe before your mom suspects something and deletes it. Once you’re sure you have all the evidence and data, then tell your dad. See his reaction, if he goes legal then give him the evidence
What should the evidence consist of? And also I think she suspects something as she interrupted me and my sister talking about it and asked angrily what we were talking about?
Screenshots of all those chats is the main evidence. Note down the guy’s number also. If possible, try to track when your mom goes out with him and record it from a distance. I’m sure she suspects it, you might have to act fast. Once you get the screenshots, read those chats and try to understand what exactly is happening, how did they meet, etc
I heard screenshots don't count as evidence anymore. Should I just tell my dad and then he will check my mom's phone? I can't track her she takes the car I can't even drive. I just know the name of dudes wife nothing else I can take the number but even screenshot is difficult
Lawyer here, screenshots do count as evidence all you have to do is delete the person's name from the phone then you have to take the screenshots, make sure the number is visible to which she is talking while taking the screenshot.
Imagine my contact is shown on your WhatsApp chat as “ AltiristicPaint” , if you go to contacts and deleted my contact detail , you can open WhatsApp again and you will no longer see my name but my number is given in that place , that’s what he meant
When you take the SS of chats, instead of the name the number should be visible. That happens if you delete the contact from the phone (don't delete the chat from the app).
You have to try it. But do it carefully. Gather proofs as previous commentor mentioned. The phone number must be visible. Proofs can be anything such as trying to meet in non working times frequently or romantic messages and a lot. If you have this you can show them to father or both sets of grandparents. They would take care of it. In case of father suggest him to meet a good lawyer with the proofs you have.
The best proof would be catching in act and cannot be negated.
Telling your dad will just create more problems as you got nothing to support your words and also even if your dad believes you, on what basis will he file for divorce when he has no evidence?
Don’t tell your dad now only. Focus on your exams and leave your mom to do whatever she wants. Take the number, look it up on truecaller. Read the chats since that’s the only evidence you have now. After your exams, inform your dad then. But I suggest informing your dad now only since I doubt you can tolerate all that and focus on exam
But if I tell before exams I don't even think I will be able to reach the centre and what if I have to drop for exam also how do you search up name in Truecaller
All the advice here is great
All I would say is to concentrate on your exam I know it’s difficult but do it
Since your mom is already having doubts then you guys might as well stop talking about it in the house
Just keep collecting all evidence and ask your sister too
Don’t be brave and go all in. Slowly collect and as time passes you will have more evidence and in the mean time finish your exams
Screenshots (preferably in a way that the guy's number is visible), videos, pictures, audio recordings
Both that guy and your mum do not sound tech savvy, you can easily gather it
Screenshots of the messages. All the intimate messages.. whatever camera recording she's sent, call logs. N any messages where it's proven that she's gone out to meet him. Etc. Gallery if any pics are there.
Bro collect all the evidence. Then confront your mom privately. Ask her to stop or you will tell dad. Ask her to never lock her phone and keep checking. Divorce will have a big impact on you and your sisters life. They are adults she can go back to being normal and your dad doesn’t have to know. You will move on if she stops now for good. I know divorce sounds right but think what will your dad do at this age all alone heart broken for the rest of his life ? Your sister, how will she be affected? And you ? And what if your dad remarries and the other woman is not that great ? You your mom loves you and your sister like no other woman ever can. Trust me its normal human tendency some are not strong enough to control it but your mom might realise what she has done once you confront her and stop. Everything can still go back to normal.
I believe if the children talked to the mom privately the mom's lover could convince her to take harsh step.
We should consider if the mom has good feelings for her kids or would she dump them if it comes to it.
Does the mom really love her kids ?
I just fear if his mom doesn't care about the kid and finds out that they know about her relationship, what steps she and her lover are gonna take to suppress the kids.
It's better if we know if she loves the kids before asking to confront the mom privately.
OP if possible please let us know about her feelings towards you and your sister, like will she consider leaving her relationship for the two of you.
Don't give him this advice . It's been quite common that she can plot with her lover and try to physically harm them . The boy is 16-17 and sister is a kid . They won't be able to physically resist them . Best option is too observe and then tell the father .
He op, somthing similar happened to my friend, just that his mom was kinda forced into it and trust be told scammed. Bro found out but didn't tell because he wanted to keep his family together. Turned out his mum had then run away with quite a sum of money with the guy, guy takes money and bolts. The mum gets afraid and tries unaliveing herself and gets to the hospital. Bro had to come clean. That broke the father. He was a jolly good man and was always a happy guy. He did not cry or lash out. Took care of the wife, filed a case against the guy and helped the son (my friend) not get bothered by this and complete his studies and get something to a normal life. He just stopped talking to his wife and all that is left is a skeleton of a family. I once asked him why did you not break up with her or something. All he had was a broken smile and said " I married her for better or worse, I am dealing with the worst for now"
It is your choice to inform your dad but I understand what you are going through. Telling your father about something like this is worse than telling your parents your sexual orientation is to a similar gender. But please be there when the news breaks, because it will break and better a divorced family than a dead one, I always see instances on the news.
On God bro prayers be with you.
Absolutely that’s how men are op ! They feel they can take literally a shot at them and still keep up to make sure their family is together but if the same man cheats they think he has to be punished and a woman deserves a better man or live herself with the kids strong and independent.
Focus on your exams, develop strong relationship with your sister. Stay calm, keep collecting evidence, once you have enough evidence and time is right then share it with your father. Don't rush.
What if this whole thing blows up so bad that it ruins your family? Your dad breaks down mentally after finding out everything and the future of you and your sister gets destroyed?
Why are you in such a hurry to convict your mom? It will not be a simple case of you accuse her and he says yes milord. You need solid evidence. If you accuse and have no evidence, your mom will make your dad beat the living shit out of you and trust me she can make your dad do that.
Continue to collect evidence, if the affair ends it is the very best for you. It will be a grace of God. Best case scenario. Continue to monitor your mom and keep your family safe.
Once you have enough evidence, sit with your dad and say," Dad I suspect that mom is involved with someone but you be the judge. Here is the evidence and you make your own opinion." This will give an opportunity to your dad to take action and also save some face.
I once saw a case similar to yours in which children caught mom with a family friend and informed the whole family. Parents eventually divorced and his dad went into depression. He is now involved with a woman who wants him to have kids with her and makes him ignore children from his first marriage.
Tldr: Gather solid evidence, present it to dad confidentially, let dad take action, never leak out the info to anyone else.
Just tell your dad after collecting evidence, even if her affairs end. After gathering proof, it's important to inform your dad, regardless of whether her affairs have ceased.
How can you live with someone like her? Can you guarantee it won't happen again? Living with someone of her nature raises concerns. Can you ensure there won't be a repeat?
It's better to throw the snake🐍 out of your house before it bites you. It's wiser to remove the snake from your home before it causes harm.
Don't care about her because if she can do these things with your family, she deserves to suffer much more than you. Her actions towards your family merit severe consequences, so it's best not to concern yourself with her.
Act fast because who knows what could happen? What if something happens due to your delay? Prompt action is crucial. Delay could lead to unforeseen consequences.
When? How? Everything is destroyed my family will not longer exist I have one of the most important exams of my life going on idk what's wrong what's correct
It is already destroyed moment your mom stepped out
Only thing keeping that illusion alive is a lie
At some point truth will manifest itself. It can be your dad finding out
It can be your mom wants out
The truth will remain immortal
But you are not the one who caused this.
Either you can wait for exams to get over and you get settled in college to do the same.
Also OP focus on your sister you may not like it but you had to step for her as a guardian now so that she doesn't loose her childhood
After your exams are done, when he is alone and your mom is not nearby. So he can hear you talk and without interruptions and have time to process and make a decision!
Man, your father is an IT president. There won't be any financial issues. Get basic evidence like do you have your own phone? Click pictures or video record the mom's phone with your phone. Also how do you not know what True caller is? Seems fishy but I'll let it slide.
You case is more family related than law related. Post in other subs as well. Also, keep your sister out of all this. Atleast try to do this. Break the news to your father and take your mom by surprise so that she is caught with evidence in her phone.
You mentioned it in one of your comments. Is he not?
To be honest, I would let it pass considering you are a teenager and don't know better but your username is grossly offensive and you should do better.
When do I tell though? I have my college counselling in some months or if I take a drop next year. If the court shit comes up that will mean financial burden and also my sister is only 11 and I will have to leave her with mom if I go to college and idk how my dad will react. Will he get mad and go berserk or be calm and help collect evidence.. I just dk what to do
asap dad will be more hurt the longer you take. he will feel upset that you kept such a secret these feelings will worsen the longer you take to tell him.
Yes I think so too, he is free 24/7 and has a wife, his wife probably works but idk. I really can't believe this she is like the epitome of a sanskari housewife
No, you focus on your exam for now because this news is 💯 going to take your family by storm. Get done with your exam then proceed to reveal the truth, or else you'll likely do bad in your exam as the drama will linger in your head even more
Noooo, your studies are very precious right now. Ik this a bad situation but pls prioritize your studies, it will help you escape the hell hole faster.
He'll be finding out the woman he gave his life to betrayed him in one of the worst ways possible. The longer you put off telling him, the closer you come to him feeling like you also betrayed him
see, what if something worse happens..god forbid but the way the other guy asks for camera stuff and all is scary , tell your dad in calm manner with some proof or he might vent his anger on you, the earlier u tell better it is , so ASAP is the only solution
Listen to me just go silent for a few days u r mom might already know that u are sniffing around so it's better to calm things down and act normal,let her think that everything is normal wait untill ur exams get over and after that when ur mom let's her guard down start to collect some evidence and keep it ready.Now you should be concentrating on ur exams be strong my friend.
Adult relationships are complicated, we often don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Your parents might or might not have an arrangement amongst themselves, getting involved in such a way as children would make them take extreme decisions even if they want to reconcile. It's better you first ask your younger sister to not get involved in this at all, she's a child. If you think your parents are good parents to you both, take the most mature person out of the two in confidence and let them know you're aware of this, don't threaten either of them that you'll tell the other one, it's not your place and it will only make things more complicated. Keep the evidence with you safe just in case push comes to shove but do not let either of them know you have it until lawyers get involved and a decision is made. Your mother might be emotionally cheating for all you know, it sounds extreme but these things happen, let your father be the one to decide. It would be ideal if you tell your mom you know, give her the option of telling your dad that the kids are not aware of this. Even if she decides to not tell him, it's better you and your sister stay out of it for now since y'all are too young to take care of yourselves financially and you don't know how your father would react to something like this, he might even question if y'all are his kids in the first place as sad as that sounds. Stay out of it for now for the sake of your sister and you and let the adults decide.
OP listen to this guy! Rest all are forgetting that you guys are just kids.
You are too young to understand the complications of life and relationships.
Your best option is to first keep your sis out of this, then talk to your mom stating what you are suspecting, no need to play any kind of blame game. Just hear her side of it.
This is just akin to enabling the shitshow. That wouldn't help them in the long run. It's best to bring the truth to light, and let the dad decide what happens next, while the kids can choose to remain with whom they continue to trust in this situation.
OP, this is the best advice if you want things to turn out as normal as they possibly can at the end of this. If you want your relationship with both your parents to stay good then you need to tell your mother first that you know and you need to let her make the choice about how she wants to tell him.
Whatever you do now will really affect the rest of your life. Your family is definitely going to change but there might be some salvation because as the other person said, adult relationships are really complex. Also yes, your sister really shouldn’t be involved in this. Something like this can destroy your faith in any kind of potential relationships in the future when you’re both adults. Please be careful and don’t assume the worst, give your mother the grace and hope for the best :) Trying to blackmail or getting involved too much in any other way is going to cause a lot more harm which can potentially be avoided. You need to tell one of your parents basically, whoever you think would be able to handle the conversation especially with you, their kid, should be the one. All the best for your exams, future’s gonna be okay :))
A lot of the people in the comments are forgetting that they’re talking about real people with a real family. Their advice sounds like it’s from a movie plot. Please be sensible!
Bro a advice something similar happened to me everything in your family is gone now face the truth don't stay in denial. It also happened to me in the same way and the same moment of life preparing for entrance exams I know it will affect everything face the truth don't go for distractions I am kind of giving long term advice and focus on your studies back and yourself. Don't let this end you. Be a strong person, cheaters are the worst so be prepared to hear lots of excuses. Just know where you stand shit happens in life.
So true caller doesn't work in your area ? Come on ! That number will be on gpay, Truecaller, or some damn app. Bank transactions can't be deleted. If u two are so clever to crack passwords and looks at chats what's stopping u guys from talking to your dad and all three jus make sure no valuable item is lost from home. She z not gonna stop fucking around and u can't go to court saying she is having an affair. Exams Tera hain bhai , louda lagwane hain tho lagwa le . Time won't return
>everyone in a day and she sends it and also recording of our camera it's really creepy and scary
What do you mean???
Are you and your sister safe??
If she sends your pictures and videos , you guys are not safe.
I dont want to add to your worries but please not only collect evidence but also ensure your own health
He's saying that if mom finds out that ur little sister knows about her affair, and if ur not in home at that time, there's a chance that ur mom might finish off ur little sister to keep the secret safe. Lots of incidents like this have happened before
I did not want to alarm you
He might be eyeing your sister too.
If your mother allows it, she will unfortunately become a plaything to him
That is why i asked about your mother pointing phone towards ypur sister.
Please stay safe.
People in love do stupid things
AT THE COST OF OTHERS.
Please protect you two.
This is not at all good news.
Tell your sister
I mean it seriously
To be preapred to be kill
Killing somebody is better than any Harm to self .
I pray this day never comes
But if it does
She must be prepared to save herself
You have to speak with her
Tell her reality of world
And make her strong and fearless.
And tell her what could happen if she does not stand up for herself
She is a kid. This is gonna scar her for life. Honestly, OP you are a kid yourself. Please if you know a reliable person, an adult, whom you really trust, then confide in them. Things can go wrong in multiple ways and we can't really gauge how. Sending you prayers.
Give your exam maybe just store proofs you've found till now in a safe place... Ask your sister to turn down her detective shit too, I'm saying this cus if you're caught the consequences will be brutal you probably have board exam... Give the exam then collect more proofs discreetly, tell your father and I hope you tell him before he finds out both his kids knew his wife was cheating... That'll pretty much ruin his life... Your situation is bad ngl even when you tell your dad with proofs there's a chance he'll not believe you, men in love are blind in the end... I hope God gives you strength to handle all this well
The heck you are waiting for?? Go collect evidence. Tell your dad , he doesn't deserve this.
You can collect evidence very quickly.
Delete the person's number from your mom's phone and take screenshots so that the number is visible. It is important. Take screenshot of every message and make sure nothing is left behind. Note down the name and the number and use truecaller to find it. Do this for 2-3 days and you now have enough evidence .
Get the evidence and confess to your dad. Your younger sister is smarter and braver than you . She told you and tried to do something about the situation. And if you care about your exam so much then why did you bothered in the first place.
Doing something about the situation will be better for your focus than feeling guilty about not doing anything .
OP delete the contact and with number visibile take video of that chat from another phone and also start recording calls and keep it aside. If hello breaks loose like your mom keeps false dowry/domestic violence case against case on your dad use these.
I don't have any advice regarding this awful situation but please try to not involve your kid sister, I can understand she is already deep inside of this mess and it's hard to avoid while living in the same place but you should try to protect her as much as you can and take care of her
Absolutely! You shouldn't involve her now, I know she's already involved in the first place but make her understand that this has nothing to do with her and keep a close eye on her so that she doesn't have to get distracted by all this because at her age this will become a trauma for her! Take good care of her and tbh with you see this is life and this is how the world works but honestly take your time and then take your father out somewhere and let him know all this!
U don’t hv to to be a FBI or something.. most of the comments i read here are probably from teenagers. don’t do that stuff.
You are a goddamm kid … you and your sibling should talk to your father discreetly and explain them everything u hv observed up till now and your work is done. Rest is on your father to persuade
Sit with your mom and tell her you love her and she should stop doing all this stuff.
It will save everyone's life
Next step will be divorce after letting your dad know
Maa se durr raho. Maa paraye ghar ki ho chuki hai. Tumhara ghar nasht kar degi. Stay far n talk to ur father or other responsible elder about this. So sad to see young kids get exposed to this v early on in life. I too had a similar story so can relate. Brother take care of urself n ur sister.
Track down the details of the guy like where he lives, his name, his wife details, and her WhatsApp number too. And send all the cheating evidence to his wife number. After that Maybe the guy will stop from his side
I assume you're giving JEE Advanced. Sit tight, try to gather evidence yourself or, preferably, get your sister to do it. See if you can advise her on how to be discreet about it.
You have the most important exam of your life coming up, focus on that. This has the added advantage of giving your mom an illusion of safety. I can assure you, if she thinks she threw you off the trail, she will continue cheating. She is bound to make a slip-up sometime.
My advice is, give everything you have to your exams, and go Sherlock Holmes on her ass when they're over.
I have personal experience with something similar. I am 30 now, found put when I was 18. I get how hard it must be, I don't have an answer whether you should say or not, but trust me, there's a 99% chance that the partner knows.
I hope you find a way to deal with this. Its good that you and your sister can talk about it and deal with it together.
I understand it must be so difficult to get this out of your chest must feel like ton of weight put onto your shoulders.
Let me tell you straight it's not worth it. Even if you tell dad and things go in court and they try to split with whom will you go ? If you go with mum dad will still be obligated to pay maintenance/alimony etc since she is housewife and does not have her own source of income as per law. So your dad will be really facing financial problems and in turn you two will suffer too.
Don't try and control other person destiny, mum made her choice you and your sister need to make yours.
Yes study hard make your career and then when old enough with steady income you can leave your mum in a paid old age home and stay with your dad in your house.
Also mean while, whenever you think your dad can take it calmly confide with him and ask him to transfer his assets to your name once you turn 18 so as to be safe.
Who are these folks suggesting the kid to spy on their mom to collect evidence of her affair? Goodness gracious!
OP - focus on exams, your life, and building your career. There are probably just 1 or 2 sane comments here. Find them and understand them well. Going forward, it’s better not to ask such complex relationship questions to the Reddit crowd. The user base is skewed towards < 30 yr olds.
OP, as painful as discovering this would HV been to you and your sister, you need to remember both your parents are adults. Whatever your mom is going through, she can resolve. Your sister is a child who shouldn't be snooping around. Your dad and mom's relationship might endure this. You both basically have no business 'collecting evidence ' etc. Trust that your parents want the best for you and focus on studies and your career and life. Even when your parents separate, you should hv a healthy relationship and memories with them.
Talk to your dad. If your sister finds out and she tells him. He would be crushed to know that you hid the facts from him. He might place you at the same spot as your mother. Rip the band aid off sooner so that it cant hurt you in the long run. You need atleast one parent to support you. All the best. NAL
U have to save your dad from the woman and also make sure that it does not take a toll on mental well being of your sister. I know it's difficult. You have to be brave. Once you have enough evidence and you are in college tell your father about it.
Bro , i caught my mom cheating while they video calling and showing private parts each other...
And I have strong urge tell my dad about this thing. Then I thought what would be the reaction of my dad after knowing this ... I love my dad and i don't want feel him that he is a loser or man to get cheated on..
He is hard worker still he work hard for my family.
I don't want ruin his mental health and family life . So I decided to shut up.
After that incident i never interacted with my mother like before .
I'm the only person know this cheating thing in my family
Let this thing burry with me
Sorry this happened to you. Complete the exam first. Try to keep these thought back of your mind now.. Take the screenshot of chats for future in case if you need. After exam end, bring your dad outside and tell about how your mom is talking to someone person, show screenshot and you didn't feel good about it. Leave other stuff to their hand. Don't take anger on your mother. You don't know her story, yes, she is wrong. Was she bad mother to you? I think, No is the answer. Leave the relationship issues in your parent. But you need to tell truth father. Otherwise, you will be used to this strange situation and live in hell.
OP, I think you should first relax and give your exams. Next, start collecting the evidences and dont let your sister be too involved in it, she is a little too young to be facing all this I feel. I think you need to also act fast as you can see the guy has your mom wrapped around his fingers. He may try to lure her into sending him money jewellery or your family possessions to him. Your father might not take it well but you need to be strong for your family. Peace!
Don't tell him now. It will surely ruin your exam.
If u tell now fight will start and you wont be able to study for your exam. It's just a guess but maybe your exam is CUET so if you tell now your household condition will detoriate.You may not even have the chance to give the exam.
Hey, I guess you are too young for this, rather than you getting into all this and tell your dad about this and ask him to stay cautious.
I don’t know what kind of person your mom or your dad or that other person is. But you stay safe, as if you get caught the other person might try to hurt you or your sister, most probably sister as she is easy target.
All powers to you, I have also went through the same and found my dad cheating. And I told mom. But I guess you should tell your dad too.
omg this actually sad as f First collect all the evidence you parents might be a swinger or something idk and ask your sister to not get involved in this at all ,be careful
My suggestion is we have option in WhatsApp of link device, your phone as keeping desktop screen do the what's app Web link device all chats do screen recording take all evidence.
After that Warn guy and mom taking help your known trusted person not to do these all these nonsense things strictly.
Give them the last warning if not set right then inform to your dad
Don't really have any advice but your sister has no one to look up to, other than you now. Maybe your father will be in his own zone if he finds out, and will need space. Stay strong buddy.
Others have spoken about collecting evidence you should do that. That said BE SAFE, there are enough cases of women and their lovers killing the children to hide affairs. If this is happening, you kids might be in danger. This woman is in love and will not think rationally, you have no idea what the man is capable of. I would strongly suggest you do not trust anything she gives you and be very aware of your surroundings. Also have a few friends who can come home in a moments notice
OP focus on your exam first .
Second take care of your sister .
Dont say anything to your MOM she might kill you ,your sister or your father collect evidence in secrecy honestly i would abandon my mom if such things ever happen .
There is a Youtube channel[[[ For men India ]]]
follow it .
Remeber divorce in india takes years ecen 5+ you will be completing your degree by then .
So your sister might end up with cheating MoM and her Affair patner might rape her [ happens a lot in such cases ].
Dude i understand you are going through a lot but exams should be your first priority as it will provide you a better lifestyle in a long time which will also help your sister.
Sooner or later your dad will figure it out, and at that time you should be in the spot where you can at least provide a good lifestyle to your sister.
abhi exam pe focus kr mere bhai
following that u have to man up and b 4 ur father..
abhi kuch mat kr khail evidence collect kr.. She can even file a False 498-A on your father..
shant dimaag se soch
Please don’t tell your dad straight away, it’ll get super ugly. First finish your exams, keep this all aside and then after exams when you have all the time, think from afresh perspective how you’d take this ahead but not dad. First I’d suggest talk to your mom, tell her you know. Then see how to take it ahead.
If u have exam in 4 days, please concentrate on exams first. Once exam are over collect evidence and tell your dad. Please don’t spoil your career for some one else’s misdemeanour.
Leverage your position. Also work on your English, else after 10 yrs some other kid will write a similar post saying his mom is talking to a guy with bad English.
Bro, focus on your exams for now. I know it's hard. But you need to get out of this hellhole and save your sister as well. Coz, I don't know how much of a help your father would be after things are out. I hope he prioritises his kids and you and your sister get to live a better life with him. And no, you don't deserve that mother especially when she is jeopardizing your safety for her own selfish reasons. Build a good life for yourself and get away. Again, that's for the far future. As of now, you can follow what you deem fit from all the suggestions (logical) here.
Im sorry for ur situation. But the things are way too complicated to handle both of you.. You need to share things with someone of your close matured adult relative whom u can trust to the utmost rather than ur father.. People here have no idea what your family is.. Keeping such things inside ur mind will make only the situation worse. Maybe a matured person who knows ur family have a better idea. Also dont do anything stupid as somebody have mentioned like preparing to kill etc..jesus.. Collecting evidence? Seriously..?? They are just 17 and 11.
Anything can be done only if you perform well in exams. You're right,your sister will be alone but currently convenient on your exams and make sure your sister is no where near those camera whose privacy is compromised. If possible remove the permissions or change the passwords citing there's a security breach. Protect your sister at every cost. And after your exams are done, try talking to your mother about the adultery. Ask her the very reason why she's doing it. If it's an old flame or anything. If she still denies it, keep the evidence with you and give it to your dad. Am sorry to say, you need evidence to protect your dad too.coz she may claim as domestic harrasment in house and lock your dad too if desperate. So, try talking her out of this and mainly,I know 17 is too young to think mature enough. I seriously pray that you never go anything of this sort again. Be strong kid,it takes a lot but be brave for yourself and your sis.
Probably focus on your exams for now . Let her think that you dont know anything , if you dont focus on it then she'll stop suspecting you ,and if you think the affair might get over after exams . Then so be it , it will be a greater trouble for yourself if yoh try to do anything now. Especially if she finds out that you're gathering evidence. I'd say wait for a few days ,then try to get evidence safely . I'd say ask your sister to engage your mom into some work and you get the proofs
Keep your focus on getting good college, the problem which has fallen apon you is bad and i hope no child should get it, you now have to become mentally strong and be prepare for worse, i suggest you that you have to do some overtime after your study, observe your mother how much into the guy she is into, try feed it into her mind that what happens when your data gets leaked and stuff like that by telling her fake or real stories making her watch crime patrol stuff you have to try to add in her subconscious that send data. I assume that the man is scared of getting himself caught red-handed by his wife, which is why he is asking that chats but i can only assume.** I also suggest if your mother is bad with apps and you want to track in real time chats connect your mum's whatsapp to one of a computer device via whatsapp web and start collecting evidence**, find out about the man's wife and prepare a good evidence, by what you have said i think that the man is just using you mom(i am very sorry) try these tricks .
There can be 2 plausible outcomes depending on the situation, 1)if you somehow scare the shit out of the man for getting caught, this will probably save you parents' from getting divorce till your father finds out
2) if you tell you father with evidence, this will end quickly but might end with your parents getting divorced
At last, never let the man or your mom that you guys know their secrets and as soon as they find out, tell you, Father as soon as possible
In future if you need any spying tips, feel free to contact me
bro screenshots mat le chat ke lekin kisi dusre phone se photos lele apni mummy ke phone ki for proof which will look more organic as screenshots can be created through ai but not the photos aur bhai photos mei tere ghar ka room ka thoda background dikhega toh real lagega
Do not tell ur dad as of now. I repeat do not.
This will completely break ur dad and he may end up doing something no one wants. Even if he doesn't do anything abrupt, it will still give him a lifetime of trouble.
Your mom will even face lifetime of troubles.
The best course of action would be to guide your sister to stay aware and keep collecting evidence for the sake of tracking the extent of relationship.
As of now you don't need to hand over or confront anyone.. Simply track the extent of relationship.
Try finding more about the guy and let the time pass.
Once you are in a stronger position (like after ur exam), and if u feel that the relationship is crossing limits, then talk to ur mom about it and how this should not be done.
Hopefully she would choose the peace of the family over this affair guy, if it doesn't work out try confronting the other guy with the evidence. And ask him to back off.
If things get worse, then only involve ur dad.
The thing is, once your father comes to know of this, your family structure will almost be over, there would be days or even months of abusive family drama and a lifetime of Fights.
Better to nip it in the bud before involving ur dad. Coz once you do. It's game over for your family structure.
Dude you really should not involve your 11 year old sister in to this. She is way too young to understand any of this. She is at a very vulnerable age. Get her out of this.
Just tell your mom , stop this stuff first otherwise I will tell this to dad , if she continues to do this even after your warning then tell your dad .
That would be the best possible way to maintain peace at home and hold the family together.
Please talk to your mom first before going wrecking your home. You will be more sorry when your parents will split and you have to choose one. Your sister is very young to get caught in the middle of such thing. She will be devastated by all the dramas. So please re consider collecting evidence and all. Don’t treat YOUR MOTHER as a criminal. Talk to her and try to solve the problem without creating a situation which you won’t be able to control.
If is not affecting your daily lives , (like if she is being a bad mom , not taking care of you guys and stuff) then let it be , turn a blind eye , pretend like everything is normal , getting this out into the open is going to do harm only , no good is going to come out of this coming out. If she manages to fulfil her mom duties towards you two , then ya let her be and mind your own business . If it comes out it's going to explode your family and no one is going to be happy ever again. Stop judging your mom for her choices and pay attention to your own lives , both you and your sister are at important ages , pay attention to your studies and career , let this go.
As much as I want you to tell everything to your father at the earliest, I also somewhere feel it’s not your place.
You don’t know what kinda dynamics your parents share! If she is seeing someone outside of marriage, there must be some reason (few cheat for the heck of it!)
Collect all the evidence - screenshots of the messages, call logs etc.
Meanwhile, develop a strong bond with your sister. You guys shouldn’t change your outlook towards a parent just because you found something.
If the guy is asking for all the chats and recordings from your mom, i suspect your mom is being blackmailed for something. If she is really good and cares for you all please find some other way to confront, don't be outrageous. You never know
OP, don't ruin your and your sisters life. Your life is more important. If you get involved in all this and it blows up, it is gonna jeopardize your studies and your future. Just be there for your sister. Your parents will sort it out or not.. It doesn't matter. Most adult relationships are complicated. Maybe once you are on your legs, try sorting other people's relationships.
Also you are asking in the wrong sub. This is legal advise sub and you are not even 18. You know what a lawyer does right? you don't need their advise. maybe ask in a moderate sub like r/indiasocial or r/askindia
Don't listen to these people.
Finish your exams. DONT spoil your career because of this. Just wait for the right time and tell your mom that you know what’s going on and she should inform your day about it and stop doing it, otherwise she’ll have to compromise with whole family.
Hey Bud! First things first- I am sorry you had to go through this at such a young age. You see, on papers everything eventually works out- dad can get a divorce based on the evidence you guys collect and your dad definitely deserves to know the truth; but before you do anything please consider the possible repercussions of this revelation. Things will never come back to normal again. Be a bit selfish here, you are a kid and you have a younger sibling. Its the time where you make something out of yourselves. The legal tussle and the drama and the trauma will be devastating. It doesn’t get any better from here. More than your parents, think about your sibling. If still you feel that the benefit outweighs the loss and you will be able to glide through it and probably switch living between parents for majority of the beginning of your adult life…go ahead. I am not implying you shouldn’t do something; all I am saying is time it correctly. The ship is going to sink; make sure you have your life boats in place before you jump.
If u wanna save family collect evidence and tell mom to stop doing this shit, think of it like eveveryone makes mistakes and give her a chance, ik it will be hard for you guys but, its for saving dad and the relationships.
>If I tell my dad everything will be over
It was already over the moment your mom started her fling.
Good luck to whatever decision you come up with, i can only imagine how hard it must be on you and your sister. Regardless of how you decide to handle your family affairs, please try to shield your sister from all this as she is very young and the most vulnerable. Ask her to step away and stop snooping around etc and tell her you will handle it
Focus on your studies. Support your sister to do so. Put extra effort to keep your mental health good. Do things that make your sister feel that you will be there for her. Things may or may not work in your favour even if you tell your father about this. Focus on yourselves. Accept and understand not everyone follows society's construct and expectations.
Install a Spy app on your mom's phone. Behave normal. Gather information about the other man, Facebook, insta etc then go to dad. Do it after your exams. Look your mother made a choice and her life is passing by but yours is about start, keep it normal. Every sinner has a future. After you have all the proofs aptly tell your father about everything. If your mom wants to leave let then let her go because the more you or your father resist the deeper the scars will be.
if you can get her phone once go to whatsapp web on a pc or search whatsweb on android and make a clone of the whatsapp to get info, log in to the gmail account if you can, you can get all social passwords if you are lucky.
Really sad to hear that you have to go through this OP. Especially at 17yo. I understand what you’re going through. I went through something similar when I was 14yo. I have caught my mother with multiple people at multiple times and I too have a curious younger brother like your sister and just like your case he also found my mom texting on a separate phone and obv he cracked the password and saw his own mother’s nudes. Soon my father found out and everything went to hell for me for months. Somehow I was the one keeping my dad sane when he started drinking and stopped going to work. I never had the guts to tell my dad because what would I say? And how would he react? Indian parents believe in once married always married concept a little too much and so when something like this happens they can’t bear it. Naturally when my father found out, I told him about rest of the encounters too and everything went downhill. Then one day my father draws a line and says that no one will ever look past this date. It will never be discussed and nothing like this ever happened. 10years later in 24 now and last year I caught my mom with another guy while dad was away. Only this time confronted him and kicked him out of the house. My relationship with my parents is very sore so I don’t really care what they do anymore. But borderline bro, whether or not you tell your dad, whether or not you collect evidence, the fact is that if you and your sister found out, then your mom isn’t very good at hiding it and it’s only a matter of time before you dad finds out. All I’ll say is he prepared for the worse. Get stronger by then and think independently. Because when this comes it, certain amount of burden will fall on you.
Hi OP - I’m really concerned by the comments on this post. You are very young. As someone who is way older and has seen more than you, I hope you’ll consider my advice seriously.
Please do not collect evidence, go to your dad etc. As difficult as the situation is, the relationship your parents have with each other is their own business. I know you feel resentment towards your mom, but regardless of what she’s doing, her love towards you hasn’t changed. Maybe your parents have hit a rough patch, it’s nothing that they cannot fix on their own. And it’s not your job to fix it either. Focus on your studies. Your sister is too young to be involved and be traumatised by this. Tell her it’s nothing and get her to stop snooping around. Once your exams are out of the way and if you are still bothered by it, you can talk to your mom. Maybe she’ll have an explanation or it could act as a catalyst for her to fix things with your dad.
Have you considered this - maybe your Mom isn’t happy in the relationship with your father? And she may have broken it off with him, but for you and your sister? With that perspective, what she’s doing is a sacrifice - or maybe your parents are in an open relationship & are seeing separate partners? Stop being Sherlock Holmes.
The way I see it is - Looks like you’re looking for an excuse to screw your exams - my suggestion: focus on them & do well and get out. This way, you build a strong parallel option for your little sister and your other parent (Mom or Dad), should this shit hit the fan. You’re not the man/ husband in this relationship. Focus on your job - study!
If you strongly believe that your Mom is wrong, then do the right thing by asking her about it. Lay it out and ask her what she wants to do - break the news to your father and/ or stop the relationship. The fact remains the relationship between your parents is already done for. It’s a matter of when, not if.
Dude. Focus on your goddamn exam. I know this is a horrible situation to be in but at this moment if you get caught or confess, shit could hit the fan in multiple ways and absolutely destroy your life as you know it. You don’t know how your father is going to react, you don’t know what your mother is further capable of; your first course of action should be to protect your sister, she’s a kid, make sure she doesn’t snoop or does anything to get in trouble. Secondly, make sure you study for your exam. Don’t mess with your life because of other’s actions, remember; hope for the best, plan for the worst. Study hard and make sure you’re set up for success so that you can then step up and care for your sister if the adults go crazy.
Its ridiculous how harsh the comments on reddit can be.
If (very slim chance) your mother is having an affair, I am sorry you are going through this. But you should know this is neither your or your sister's fault. Both of you should know that.
My 2 cents here (and high possibility), it seems your mother is being scammed. With what you said, she seems to be a nice lady who tried to help her family as much as she could.
Scammers are predators who prey on the gullible. They try to find someone who is attention starved. Say nice words and charm them.
The action you stated, where they ask for all recorded chats and videos, clearly states that this is an ongoing scam. They will take everything you have (bank accounts, passwords, etc).
You need to tell your father immediately. Go to the police. If you think you can handle it, take her to the police. And immediately.
You dont know what all your mother has shared already.
Tell your father to immediately change all passwords and mot share with anyone. (Including your mom atleast for the time being till everything is settled).
You have to do this ASAP.
Your mother will need some counseling later. She will not believe how could someone so sweet (scammer) have such intentions. That is what these sick pros do. She will be heartbroken and embarrassed.
Tldr: this is a scam. Change all passwords. Go to the police asap before the msgs are deleted. Hopefully, they may be able to catch the culprit. Good luck.
I had something similar happening to me. Mom cheating on dad with another man I know. I’m going to refer to him as Pig since he abused me later. I found out when I was around your sister’s age (maybe 13). It was too obvious and she wouldn’t even try to delete the evidence.
The mistake in my case is that I DID NOT CONFRONT HER. I let it grow thinking maybe mom is interested in this and she deserves a good relationship. (My father has been very very shitty and very abusive).
Later this turned against me when he abused me when I was 15. Worst part is my own mother would not take my side. She would say that I seduced him (I WAS A KID!).
Later he had even taken around 2lakhs money from her and started gaslighting her, full manipulative behavior. Mom had to take her own time understanding, worst part, the Pig had a wife and daughter of his own. Dad did his own nasty dig on her by spying on her, recording her phone conversations, etc,.
My one piece of advice is to confront your mom first. Collect evidence. Think what’s best for you and your sister first.
This is not usual, this is definitely not normal, but you’ll get through this. I’m not aware of the dynamics in your family, so I’m not able to give you more advice.
Collect evidence silently and keep them safe before your mom suspects something and deletes it. Once you’re sure you have all the evidence and data, then tell your dad. See his reaction, if he goes legal then give him the evidence
What should the evidence consist of? And also I think she suspects something as she interrupted me and my sister talking about it and asked angrily what we were talking about?
Screenshots of all those chats is the main evidence. Note down the guy’s number also. If possible, try to track when your mom goes out with him and record it from a distance. I’m sure she suspects it, you might have to act fast. Once you get the screenshots, read those chats and try to understand what exactly is happening, how did they meet, etc
I heard screenshots don't count as evidence anymore. Should I just tell my dad and then he will check my mom's phone? I can't track her she takes the car I can't even drive. I just know the name of dudes wife nothing else I can take the number but even screenshot is difficult
Lawyer here, screenshots do count as evidence all you have to do is delete the person's name from the phone then you have to take the screenshots, make sure the number is visible to which she is talking while taking the screenshot.
Sir, can you please explain better, what does deleting persons name means?
Imagine my contact is shown on your WhatsApp chat as “ AltiristicPaint” , if you go to contacts and deleted my contact detail , you can open WhatsApp again and you will no longer see my name but my number is given in that place , that’s what he meant
When you take the SS of chats, instead of the name the number should be visible. That happens if you delete the contact from the phone (don't delete the chat from the app).
Is it not possible to edit the screenshots that way? Then how come they count as evidence?
no any editing would render it useless
How would it be detected?
its meta data changes each time it is edited
it can be verified later. but we first need the first push that makes the court order an investigation.
You have to try it. But do it carefully. Gather proofs as previous commentor mentioned. The phone number must be visible. Proofs can be anything such as trying to meet in non working times frequently or romantic messages and a lot. If you have this you can show them to father or both sets of grandparents. They would take care of it. In case of father suggest him to meet a good lawyer with the proofs you have. The best proof would be catching in act and cannot be negated.
I think whatsapp has an option called "export chat". Which will help in extracting chats.
Telling your dad will just create more problems as you got nothing to support your words and also even if your dad believes you, on what basis will he file for divorce when he has no evidence?
Worst advice here
are you intentionally this dumb the comment literally said to collect evidence first also adultery is ground for divorce
Just to a video recording - more credible.
The phone number must be visible.... in case you're taking screenshots
Also I have most important exams of my life in the coming days and what if after my exams are over the affair ends? I really am fucking confused
Don’t tell your dad now only. Focus on your exams and leave your mom to do whatever she wants. Take the number, look it up on truecaller. Read the chats since that’s the only evidence you have now. After your exams, inform your dad then. But I suggest informing your dad now only since I doubt you can tolerate all that and focus on exam
But if I tell before exams I don't even think I will be able to reach the centre and what if I have to drop for exam also how do you search up name in Truecaller
[https://www.truecaller.com/](https://www.truecaller.com/) reverse search here OP
Thanks a lot I will search here as soon as I get the phone number
Replying to Chamarowner...please search with hide your profile while viewing others which is a paid version.
Bruh forget about this shit for the time being. Do meditation. Score well. When you get selected then only meddle
All the advice here is great All I would say is to concentrate on your exam I know it’s difficult but do it Since your mom is already having doubts then you guys might as well stop talking about it in the house Just keep collecting all evidence and ask your sister too Don’t be brave and go all in. Slowly collect and as time passes you will have more evidence and in the mean time finish your exams
Screenshots (preferably in a way that the guy's number is visible), videos, pictures, audio recordings Both that guy and your mum do not sound tech savvy, you can easily gather it
Screenshots of the messages. All the intimate messages.. whatever camera recording she's sent, call logs. N any messages where it's proven that she's gone out to meet him. Etc. Gallery if any pics are there.
Use WhatsApp web ... Or clone her WhatsApp into your mobile stealthily.
Bro collect all the evidence. Then confront your mom privately. Ask her to stop or you will tell dad. Ask her to never lock her phone and keep checking. Divorce will have a big impact on you and your sisters life. They are adults she can go back to being normal and your dad doesn’t have to know. You will move on if she stops now for good. I know divorce sounds right but think what will your dad do at this age all alone heart broken for the rest of his life ? Your sister, how will she be affected? And you ? And what if your dad remarries and the other woman is not that great ? You your mom loves you and your sister like no other woman ever can. Trust me its normal human tendency some are not strong enough to control it but your mom might realise what she has done once you confront her and stop. Everything can still go back to normal.
I believe if the children talked to the mom privately the mom's lover could convince her to take harsh step. We should consider if the mom has good feelings for her kids or would she dump them if it comes to it. Does the mom really love her kids ? I just fear if his mom doesn't care about the kid and finds out that they know about her relationship, what steps she and her lover are gonna take to suppress the kids. It's better if we know if she loves the kids before asking to confront the mom privately. OP if possible please let us know about her feelings towards you and your sister, like will she consider leaving her relationship for the two of you.
Don't give him this advice . It's been quite common that she can plot with her lover and try to physically harm them . The boy is 16-17 and sister is a kid . They won't be able to physically resist them . Best option is too observe and then tell the father .
He op, somthing similar happened to my friend, just that his mom was kinda forced into it and trust be told scammed. Bro found out but didn't tell because he wanted to keep his family together. Turned out his mum had then run away with quite a sum of money with the guy, guy takes money and bolts. The mum gets afraid and tries unaliveing herself and gets to the hospital. Bro had to come clean. That broke the father. He was a jolly good man and was always a happy guy. He did not cry or lash out. Took care of the wife, filed a case against the guy and helped the son (my friend) not get bothered by this and complete his studies and get something to a normal life. He just stopped talking to his wife and all that is left is a skeleton of a family. I once asked him why did you not break up with her or something. All he had was a broken smile and said " I married her for better or worse, I am dealing with the worst for now" It is your choice to inform your dad but I understand what you are going through. Telling your father about something like this is worse than telling your parents your sexual orientation is to a similar gender. But please be there when the news breaks, because it will break and better a divorced family than a dead one, I always see instances on the news. On God bro prayers be with you.
Dude froze the heart that was shot and kept living
What a man !!!
Salute to the father who did not break the home possibly due to the kids. But one can only imagine what he goes through everyday
🫡respect to your friends dad ++++++
Why respect? To keep up with a cheater?
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Absolutely that’s how men are op ! They feel they can take literally a shot at them and still keep up to make sure their family is together but if the same man cheats they think he has to be punished and a woman deserves a better man or live herself with the kids strong and independent.
Focus on your exams, develop strong relationship with your sister. Stay calm, keep collecting evidence, once you have enough evidence and time is right then share it with your father. Don't rush.
What if the affair ends and we get no evidence ? Cause she is suspecting something
What if this whole thing blows up so bad that it ruins your family? Your dad breaks down mentally after finding out everything and the future of you and your sister gets destroyed? Why are you in such a hurry to convict your mom? It will not be a simple case of you accuse her and he says yes milord. You need solid evidence. If you accuse and have no evidence, your mom will make your dad beat the living shit out of you and trust me she can make your dad do that. Continue to collect evidence, if the affair ends it is the very best for you. It will be a grace of God. Best case scenario. Continue to monitor your mom and keep your family safe. Once you have enough evidence, sit with your dad and say," Dad I suspect that mom is involved with someone but you be the judge. Here is the evidence and you make your own opinion." This will give an opportunity to your dad to take action and also save some face. I once saw a case similar to yours in which children caught mom with a family friend and informed the whole family. Parents eventually divorced and his dad went into depression. He is now involved with a woman who wants him to have kids with her and makes him ignore children from his first marriage. Tldr: Gather solid evidence, present it to dad confidentially, let dad take action, never leak out the info to anyone else.
Just tell your dad after collecting evidence, even if her affairs end. After gathering proof, it's important to inform your dad, regardless of whether her affairs have ceased. How can you live with someone like her? Can you guarantee it won't happen again? Living with someone of her nature raises concerns. Can you ensure there won't be a repeat? It's better to throw the snake🐍 out of your house before it bites you. It's wiser to remove the snake from your home before it causes harm. Don't care about her because if she can do these things with your family, she deserves to suffer much more than you. Her actions towards your family merit severe consequences, so it's best not to concern yourself with her. Act fast because who knows what could happen? What if something happens due to your delay? Prompt action is crucial. Delay could lead to unforeseen consequences.
OP dad deserves the truth Explain him, in isolation
When? How? Everything is destroyed my family will not longer exist I have one of the most important exams of my life going on idk what's wrong what's correct
It is already destroyed moment your mom stepped out Only thing keeping that illusion alive is a lie At some point truth will manifest itself. It can be your dad finding out It can be your mom wants out The truth will remain immortal But you are not the one who caused this. Either you can wait for exams to get over and you get settled in college to do the same. Also OP focus on your sister you may not like it but you had to step for her as a guardian now so that she doesn't loose her childhood
You are right, thank you But when and how and to whom should I tell and proceed
Don't do anything. Check your message.
Sure
After your exams are done, when he is alone and your mom is not nearby. So he can hear you talk and without interruptions and have time to process and make a decision!
Man, your father is an IT president. There won't be any financial issues. Get basic evidence like do you have your own phone? Click pictures or video record the mom's phone with your phone. Also how do you not know what True caller is? Seems fishy but I'll let it slide. You case is more family related than law related. Post in other subs as well. Also, keep your sister out of all this. Atleast try to do this. Break the news to your father and take your mom by surprise so that she is caught with evidence in her phone.
Wait how did u just assume my dad is an IT president?
You mentioned it in one of your comments. Is he not? To be honest, I would let it pass considering you are a teenager and don't know better but your username is grossly offensive and you should do better.
not telling is the only bad option.
When do I tell though? I have my college counselling in some months or if I take a drop next year. If the court shit comes up that will mean financial burden and also my sister is only 11 and I will have to leave her with mom if I go to college and idk how my dad will react. Will he get mad and go berserk or be calm and help collect evidence.. I just dk what to do
asap dad will be more hurt the longer you take. he will feel upset that you kept such a secret these feelings will worsen the longer you take to tell him.
But I have my most important exams coming up, it will fuck up everything I studied for 2 years and what If dad reacts bad and shit gets worse
your mom fucked up your homelife already. this "man" she cheated on your dad with is most likely a smoothtalker with absolutely nothing else going on.
Yes I think so too, he is free 24/7 and has a wife, his wife probably works but idk. I really can't believe this she is like the epitome of a sanskari housewife
No, you focus on your exam for now because this news is 💯 going to take your family by storm. Get done with your exam then proceed to reveal the truth, or else you'll likely do bad in your exam as the drama will linger in your head even more
Idk if I can even get a college with all this mess around I might have to take drop to make matters worse.
Noooo, your studies are very precious right now. Ik this a bad situation but pls prioritize your studies, it will help you escape the hell hole faster.
He'll be finding out the woman he gave his life to betrayed him in one of the worst ways possible. The longer you put off telling him, the closer you come to him feeling like you also betrayed him
see, what if something worse happens..god forbid but the way the other guy asks for camera stuff and all is scary , tell your dad in calm manner with some proof or he might vent his anger on you, the earlier u tell better it is , so ASAP is the only solution
How do I get proof? Mom gets paranoid even if we hold her phone it's almost impossible
Seems like that's a proof
Thay won't work in court though..
Seems like you didn't get me, I'm telling about when your dad asks the phone
So he will have to carry on the process and my job will be to inform him of everything?
Listen to me just go silent for a few days u r mom might already know that u are sniffing around so it's better to calm things down and act normal,let her think that everything is normal wait untill ur exams get over and after that when ur mom let's her guard down start to collect some evidence and keep it ready.Now you should be concentrating on ur exams be strong my friend.
Adult relationships are complicated, we often don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Your parents might or might not have an arrangement amongst themselves, getting involved in such a way as children would make them take extreme decisions even if they want to reconcile. It's better you first ask your younger sister to not get involved in this at all, she's a child. If you think your parents are good parents to you both, take the most mature person out of the two in confidence and let them know you're aware of this, don't threaten either of them that you'll tell the other one, it's not your place and it will only make things more complicated. Keep the evidence with you safe just in case push comes to shove but do not let either of them know you have it until lawyers get involved and a decision is made. Your mother might be emotionally cheating for all you know, it sounds extreme but these things happen, let your father be the one to decide. It would be ideal if you tell your mom you know, give her the option of telling your dad that the kids are not aware of this. Even if she decides to not tell him, it's better you and your sister stay out of it for now since y'all are too young to take care of yourselves financially and you don't know how your father would react to something like this, he might even question if y'all are his kids in the first place as sad as that sounds. Stay out of it for now for the sake of your sister and you and let the adults decide.
OP listen to this guy! Rest all are forgetting that you guys are just kids. You are too young to understand the complications of life and relationships. Your best option is to first keep your sis out of this, then talk to your mom stating what you are suspecting, no need to play any kind of blame game. Just hear her side of it.
This is just akin to enabling the shitshow. That wouldn't help them in the long run. It's best to bring the truth to light, and let the dad decide what happens next, while the kids can choose to remain with whom they continue to trust in this situation.
This is the most sensible thing to do at this point i agree!
Only sensible and a well rounded comment!
This is the most sensible reply!👏 Op do check this out
I second that
THIS
OP, this is the best advice if you want things to turn out as normal as they possibly can at the end of this. If you want your relationship with both your parents to stay good then you need to tell your mother first that you know and you need to let her make the choice about how she wants to tell him. Whatever you do now will really affect the rest of your life. Your family is definitely going to change but there might be some salvation because as the other person said, adult relationships are really complex. Also yes, your sister really shouldn’t be involved in this. Something like this can destroy your faith in any kind of potential relationships in the future when you’re both adults. Please be careful and don’t assume the worst, give your mother the grace and hope for the best :) Trying to blackmail or getting involved too much in any other way is going to cause a lot more harm which can potentially be avoided. You need to tell one of your parents basically, whoever you think would be able to handle the conversation especially with you, their kid, should be the one. All the best for your exams, future’s gonna be okay :))
A lot of the people in the comments are forgetting that they’re talking about real people with a real family. Their advice sounds like it’s from a movie plot. Please be sensible!
Bro a advice something similar happened to me everything in your family is gone now face the truth don't stay in denial. It also happened to me in the same way and the same moment of life preparing for entrance exams I know it will affect everything face the truth don't go for distractions I am kind of giving long term advice and focus on your studies back and yourself. Don't let this end you. Be a strong person, cheaters are the worst so be prepared to hear lots of excuses. Just know where you stand shit happens in life.
So true caller doesn't work in your area ? Come on ! That number will be on gpay, Truecaller, or some damn app. Bank transactions can't be deleted. If u two are so clever to crack passwords and looks at chats what's stopping u guys from talking to your dad and all three jus make sure no valuable item is lost from home. She z not gonna stop fucking around and u can't go to court saying she is having an affair. Exams Tera hain bhai , louda lagwane hain tho lagwa le . Time won't return
>everyone in a day and she sends it and also recording of our camera it's really creepy and scary What do you mean??? Are you and your sister safe?? If she sends your pictures and videos , you guys are not safe. I dont want to add to your worries but please not only collect evidence but also ensure your own health
We are safe but my sister recalls mom pointing her phone to her while she was studying.
If you go away from the city, she will be in a bad spot Please remember that
What are you saying? I don't understand?
He's saying that if mom finds out that ur little sister knows about her affair, and if ur not in home at that time, there's a chance that ur mom might finish off ur little sister to keep the secret safe. Lots of incidents like this have happened before
I did not want to alarm you He might be eyeing your sister too. If your mother allows it, she will unfortunately become a plaything to him That is why i asked about your mother pointing phone towards ypur sister. Please stay safe. People in love do stupid things AT THE COST OF OTHERS. Please protect you two.
This is not at all good news. Tell your sister I mean it seriously To be preapred to be kill Killing somebody is better than any Harm to self . I pray this day never comes But if it does She must be prepared to save herself
How do I do that? Please help
You have to speak with her Tell her reality of world And make her strong and fearless. And tell her what could happen if she does not stand up for herself
She is a kid. This is gonna scar her for life. Honestly, OP you are a kid yourself. Please if you know a reliable person, an adult, whom you really trust, then confide in them. Things can go wrong in multiple ways and we can't really gauge how. Sending you prayers.
Use true caller find out the name. Better tell your dad before she run away.
Give your exam maybe just store proofs you've found till now in a safe place... Ask your sister to turn down her detective shit too, I'm saying this cus if you're caught the consequences will be brutal you probably have board exam... Give the exam then collect more proofs discreetly, tell your father and I hope you tell him before he finds out both his kids knew his wife was cheating... That'll pretty much ruin his life... Your situation is bad ngl even when you tell your dad with proofs there's a chance he'll not believe you, men in love are blind in the end... I hope God gives you strength to handle all this well
golden opportunity to confront mom about her affair on mother's day
The heck you are waiting for?? Go collect evidence. Tell your dad , he doesn't deserve this. You can collect evidence very quickly. Delete the person's number from your mom's phone and take screenshots so that the number is visible. It is important. Take screenshot of every message and make sure nothing is left behind. Note down the name and the number and use truecaller to find it. Do this for 2-3 days and you now have enough evidence . Get the evidence and confess to your dad. Your younger sister is smarter and braver than you . She told you and tried to do something about the situation. And if you care about your exam so much then why did you bothered in the first place. Doing something about the situation will be better for your focus than feeling guilty about not doing anything .
OP delete the contact and with number visibile take video of that chat from another phone and also start recording calls and keep it aside. If hello breaks loose like your mom keeps false dowry/domestic violence case against case on your dad use these.
I don't have any advice regarding this awful situation but please try to not involve your kid sister, I can understand she is already deep inside of this mess and it's hard to avoid while living in the same place but you should try to protect her as much as you can and take care of her
Absolutely! You shouldn't involve her now, I know she's already involved in the first place but make her understand that this has nothing to do with her and keep a close eye on her so that she doesn't have to get distracted by all this because at her age this will become a trauma for her! Take good care of her and tbh with you see this is life and this is how the world works but honestly take your time and then take your father out somewhere and let him know all this!
U don’t hv to to be a FBI or something.. most of the comments i read here are probably from teenagers. don’t do that stuff. You are a goddamm kid … you and your sibling should talk to your father discreetly and explain them everything u hv observed up till now and your work is done. Rest is on your father to persuade
Sit with your mom and tell her you love her and she should stop doing all this stuff. It will save everyone's life Next step will be divorce after letting your dad know
Maa se durr raho. Maa paraye ghar ki ho chuki hai. Tumhara ghar nasht kar degi. Stay far n talk to ur father or other responsible elder about this. So sad to see young kids get exposed to this v early on in life. I too had a similar story so can relate. Brother take care of urself n ur sister.
First thing tell your father. No one deserve wife , mother and sister like this.
Track down the details of the guy like where he lives, his name, his wife details, and her WhatsApp number too. And send all the cheating evidence to his wife number. After that Maybe the guy will stop from his side
Instead of Truecaller use phone pay or any other payment apk so that you get the exact name of that person
I assume you're giving JEE Advanced. Sit tight, try to gather evidence yourself or, preferably, get your sister to do it. See if you can advise her on how to be discreet about it. You have the most important exam of your life coming up, focus on that. This has the added advantage of giving your mom an illusion of safety. I can assure you, if she thinks she threw you off the trail, she will continue cheating. She is bound to make a slip-up sometime. My advice is, give everything you have to your exams, and go Sherlock Holmes on her ass when they're over.
I have personal experience with something similar. I am 30 now, found put when I was 18. I get how hard it must be, I don't have an answer whether you should say or not, but trust me, there's a 99% chance that the partner knows. I hope you find a way to deal with this. Its good that you and your sister can talk about it and deal with it together.
I understand it must be so difficult to get this out of your chest must feel like ton of weight put onto your shoulders. Let me tell you straight it's not worth it. Even if you tell dad and things go in court and they try to split with whom will you go ? If you go with mum dad will still be obligated to pay maintenance/alimony etc since she is housewife and does not have her own source of income as per law. So your dad will be really facing financial problems and in turn you two will suffer too. Don't try and control other person destiny, mum made her choice you and your sister need to make yours. Yes study hard make your career and then when old enough with steady income you can leave your mum in a paid old age home and stay with your dad in your house.
Also mean while, whenever you think your dad can take it calmly confide with him and ask him to transfer his assets to your name once you turn 18 so as to be safe.
Who are these folks suggesting the kid to spy on their mom to collect evidence of her affair? Goodness gracious! OP - focus on exams, your life, and building your career. There are probably just 1 or 2 sane comments here. Find them and understand them well. Going forward, it’s better not to ask such complex relationship questions to the Reddit crowd. The user base is skewed towards < 30 yr olds.
OP, as painful as discovering this would HV been to you and your sister, you need to remember both your parents are adults. Whatever your mom is going through, she can resolve. Your sister is a child who shouldn't be snooping around. Your dad and mom's relationship might endure this. You both basically have no business 'collecting evidence ' etc. Trust that your parents want the best for you and focus on studies and your career and life. Even when your parents separate, you should hv a healthy relationship and memories with them.
Collect evidence and tell your dad.
Talk to your dad. If your sister finds out and she tells him. He would be crushed to know that you hid the facts from him. He might place you at the same spot as your mother. Rip the band aid off sooner so that it cant hurt you in the long run. You need atleast one parent to support you. All the best. NAL
U have to save your dad from the woman and also make sure that it does not take a toll on mental well being of your sister. I know it's difficult. You have to be brave. Once you have enough evidence and you are in college tell your father about it.
Bro , i caught my mom cheating while they video calling and showing private parts each other... And I have strong urge tell my dad about this thing. Then I thought what would be the reaction of my dad after knowing this ... I love my dad and i don't want feel him that he is a loser or man to get cheated on.. He is hard worker still he work hard for my family. I don't want ruin his mental health and family life . So I decided to shut up. After that incident i never interacted with my mother like before . I'm the only person know this cheating thing in my family Let this thing burry with me
You are a loser
Sorry this happened to you. Complete the exam first. Try to keep these thought back of your mind now.. Take the screenshot of chats for future in case if you need. After exam end, bring your dad outside and tell about how your mom is talking to someone person, show screenshot and you didn't feel good about it. Leave other stuff to their hand. Don't take anger on your mother. You don't know her story, yes, she is wrong. Was she bad mother to you? I think, No is the answer. Leave the relationship issues in your parent. But you need to tell truth father. Otherwise, you will be used to this strange situation and live in hell.
OP, I think you should first relax and give your exams. Next, start collecting the evidences and dont let your sister be too involved in it, she is a little too young to be facing all this I feel. I think you need to also act fast as you can see the guy has your mom wrapped around his fingers. He may try to lure her into sending him money jewellery or your family possessions to him. Your father might not take it well but you need to be strong for your family. Peace!
Don't tell him now. It will surely ruin your exam. If u tell now fight will start and you wont be able to study for your exam. It's just a guess but maybe your exam is CUET so if you tell now your household condition will detoriate.You may not even have the chance to give the exam.
Hey, I guess you are too young for this, rather than you getting into all this and tell your dad about this and ask him to stay cautious. I don’t know what kind of person your mom or your dad or that other person is. But you stay safe, as if you get caught the other person might try to hurt you or your sister, most probably sister as she is easy target. All powers to you, I have also went through the same and found my dad cheating. And I told mom. But I guess you should tell your dad too.
Tell ur dad maybe ur parents will manage with just a discussion.
omg this actually sad as f First collect all the evidence you parents might be a swinger or something idk and ask your sister to not get involved in this at all ,be careful
My suggestion is we have option in WhatsApp of link device, your phone as keeping desktop screen do the what's app Web link device all chats do screen recording take all evidence. After that Warn guy and mom taking help your known trusted person not to do these all these nonsense things strictly. Give them the last warning if not set right then inform to your dad
not all truth are to be said
Don't really have any advice but your sister has no one to look up to, other than you now. Maybe your father will be in his own zone if he finds out, and will need space. Stay strong buddy.
Others have spoken about collecting evidence you should do that. That said BE SAFE, there are enough cases of women and their lovers killing the children to hide affairs. If this is happening, you kids might be in danger. This woman is in love and will not think rationally, you have no idea what the man is capable of. I would strongly suggest you do not trust anything she gives you and be very aware of your surroundings. Also have a few friends who can come home in a moments notice
OP focus on your exam first . Second take care of your sister . Dont say anything to your MOM she might kill you ,your sister or your father collect evidence in secrecy honestly i would abandon my mom if such things ever happen . There is a Youtube channel[[[ For men India ]]] follow it . Remeber divorce in india takes years ecen 5+ you will be completing your degree by then . So your sister might end up with cheating MoM and her Affair patner might rape her [ happens a lot in such cases ].
That's really sad. So sorry for you.
Hey OP, just stay strong brother 🫂
Before doing anything first be sure your mom is not victim here. I highly doubt that she is not culprit but victim here under some blackmailing.
Irony is OP saying his Mom's alleged bf writes in Bad English.
Dude i understand you are going through a lot but exams should be your first priority as it will provide you a better lifestyle in a long time which will also help your sister. Sooner or later your dad will figure it out, and at that time you should be in the spot where you can at least provide a good lifestyle to your sister.
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abhi exam pe focus kr mere bhai following that u have to man up and b 4 ur father.. abhi kuch mat kr khail evidence collect kr.. She can even file a False 498-A on your father.. shant dimaag se soch
Please don’t tell your dad straight away, it’ll get super ugly. First finish your exams, keep this all aside and then after exams when you have all the time, think from afresh perspective how you’d take this ahead but not dad. First I’d suggest talk to your mom, tell her you know. Then see how to take it ahead.
If u have exam in 4 days, please concentrate on exams first. Once exam are over collect evidence and tell your dad. Please don’t spoil your career for some one else’s misdemeanour.
Leverage your position. Also work on your English, else after 10 yrs some other kid will write a similar post saying his mom is talking to a guy with bad English.
Talk to your mom about this. Because if you let your dad know about this, he will be shattered.
Bro, focus on your exams for now. I know it's hard. But you need to get out of this hellhole and save your sister as well. Coz, I don't know how much of a help your father would be after things are out. I hope he prioritises his kids and you and your sister get to live a better life with him. And no, you don't deserve that mother especially when she is jeopardizing your safety for her own selfish reasons. Build a good life for yourself and get away. Again, that's for the far future. As of now, you can follow what you deem fit from all the suggestions (logical) here.
Im sorry for ur situation. But the things are way too complicated to handle both of you.. You need to share things with someone of your close matured adult relative whom u can trust to the utmost rather than ur father.. People here have no idea what your family is.. Keeping such things inside ur mind will make only the situation worse. Maybe a matured person who knows ur family have a better idea. Also dont do anything stupid as somebody have mentioned like preparing to kill etc..jesus.. Collecting evidence? Seriously..?? They are just 17 and 11.
Anything can be done only if you perform well in exams. You're right,your sister will be alone but currently convenient on your exams and make sure your sister is no where near those camera whose privacy is compromised. If possible remove the permissions or change the passwords citing there's a security breach. Protect your sister at every cost. And after your exams are done, try talking to your mother about the adultery. Ask her the very reason why she's doing it. If it's an old flame or anything. If she still denies it, keep the evidence with you and give it to your dad. Am sorry to say, you need evidence to protect your dad too.coz she may claim as domestic harrasment in house and lock your dad too if desperate. So, try talking her out of this and mainly,I know 17 is too young to think mature enough. I seriously pray that you never go anything of this sort again. Be strong kid,it takes a lot but be brave for yourself and your sis.
Probably focus on your exams for now . Let her think that you dont know anything , if you dont focus on it then she'll stop suspecting you ,and if you think the affair might get over after exams . Then so be it , it will be a greater trouble for yourself if yoh try to do anything now. Especially if she finds out that you're gathering evidence. I'd say wait for a few days ,then try to get evidence safely . I'd say ask your sister to engage your mom into some work and you get the proofs
Keep your focus on getting good college, the problem which has fallen apon you is bad and i hope no child should get it, you now have to become mentally strong and be prepare for worse, i suggest you that you have to do some overtime after your study, observe your mother how much into the guy she is into, try feed it into her mind that what happens when your data gets leaked and stuff like that by telling her fake or real stories making her watch crime patrol stuff you have to try to add in her subconscious that send data. I assume that the man is scared of getting himself caught red-handed by his wife, which is why he is asking that chats but i can only assume.** I also suggest if your mother is bad with apps and you want to track in real time chats connect your mum's whatsapp to one of a computer device via whatsapp web and start collecting evidence**, find out about the man's wife and prepare a good evidence, by what you have said i think that the man is just using you mom(i am very sorry) try these tricks . There can be 2 plausible outcomes depending on the situation, 1)if you somehow scare the shit out of the man for getting caught, this will probably save you parents' from getting divorce till your father finds out 2) if you tell you father with evidence, this will end quickly but might end with your parents getting divorced At last, never let the man or your mom that you guys know their secrets and as soon as they find out, tell you, Father as soon as possible In future if you need any spying tips, feel free to contact me
bro screenshots mat le chat ke lekin kisi dusre phone se photos lele apni mummy ke phone ki for proof which will look more organic as screenshots can be created through ai but not the photos aur bhai photos mei tere ghar ka room ka thoda background dikhega toh real lagega
Mind if I ask how old are you
Do not tell ur dad as of now. I repeat do not. This will completely break ur dad and he may end up doing something no one wants. Even if he doesn't do anything abrupt, it will still give him a lifetime of trouble. Your mom will even face lifetime of troubles. The best course of action would be to guide your sister to stay aware and keep collecting evidence for the sake of tracking the extent of relationship. As of now you don't need to hand over or confront anyone.. Simply track the extent of relationship. Try finding more about the guy and let the time pass. Once you are in a stronger position (like after ur exam), and if u feel that the relationship is crossing limits, then talk to ur mom about it and how this should not be done. Hopefully she would choose the peace of the family over this affair guy, if it doesn't work out try confronting the other guy with the evidence. And ask him to back off. If things get worse, then only involve ur dad. The thing is, once your father comes to know of this, your family structure will almost be over, there would be days or even months of abusive family drama and a lifetime of Fights. Better to nip it in the bud before involving ur dad. Coz once you do. It's game over for your family structure.
Yes. Let your dad know he's being cheated on. That's just basic human decency.
Dude you really should not involve your 11 year old sister in to this. She is way too young to understand any of this. She is at a very vulnerable age. Get her out of this.
Just tell your mom , stop this stuff first otherwise I will tell this to dad , if she continues to do this even after your warning then tell your dad . That would be the best possible way to maintain peace at home and hold the family together.
Please talk to your mom first before going wrecking your home. You will be more sorry when your parents will split and you have to choose one. Your sister is very young to get caught in the middle of such thing. She will be devastated by all the dramas. So please re consider collecting evidence and all. Don’t treat YOUR MOTHER as a criminal. Talk to her and try to solve the problem without creating a situation which you won’t be able to control.
College friend se chatting ke liye sab lock karke kon baithega ab ek hi solution papa ko batana
If is not affecting your daily lives , (like if she is being a bad mom , not taking care of you guys and stuff) then let it be , turn a blind eye , pretend like everything is normal , getting this out into the open is going to do harm only , no good is going to come out of this coming out. If she manages to fulfil her mom duties towards you two , then ya let her be and mind your own business . If it comes out it's going to explode your family and no one is going to be happy ever again. Stop judging your mom for her choices and pay attention to your own lives , both you and your sister are at important ages , pay attention to your studies and career , let this go.
As much as I want you to tell everything to your father at the earliest, I also somewhere feel it’s not your place. You don’t know what kinda dynamics your parents share! If she is seeing someone outside of marriage, there must be some reason (few cheat for the heck of it!) Collect all the evidence - screenshots of the messages, call logs etc. Meanwhile, develop a strong bond with your sister. You guys shouldn’t change your outlook towards a parent just because you found something.
Why don’t u talk to mum and tell her you know and it’s breaking u and your sisters heart
If the guy is asking for all the chats and recordings from your mom, i suspect your mom is being blackmailed for something. If she is really good and cares for you all please find some other way to confront, don't be outrageous. You never know
OP, don't ruin your and your sisters life. Your life is more important. If you get involved in all this and it blows up, it is gonna jeopardize your studies and your future. Just be there for your sister. Your parents will sort it out or not.. It doesn't matter. Most adult relationships are complicated. Maybe once you are on your legs, try sorting other people's relationships. Also you are asking in the wrong sub. This is legal advise sub and you are not even 18. You know what a lawyer does right? you don't need their advise. maybe ask in a moderate sub like r/indiasocial or r/askindia Don't listen to these people.
Finish your exams. DONT spoil your career because of this. Just wait for the right time and tell your mom that you know what’s going on and she should inform your day about it and stop doing it, otherwise she’ll have to compromise with whole family.
Hey Bud! First things first- I am sorry you had to go through this at such a young age. You see, on papers everything eventually works out- dad can get a divorce based on the evidence you guys collect and your dad definitely deserves to know the truth; but before you do anything please consider the possible repercussions of this revelation. Things will never come back to normal again. Be a bit selfish here, you are a kid and you have a younger sibling. Its the time where you make something out of yourselves. The legal tussle and the drama and the trauma will be devastating. It doesn’t get any better from here. More than your parents, think about your sibling. If still you feel that the benefit outweighs the loss and you will be able to glide through it and probably switch living between parents for majority of the beginning of your adult life…go ahead. I am not implying you shouldn’t do something; all I am saying is time it correctly. The ship is going to sink; make sure you have your life boats in place before you jump.
Do you think it's limited to online affair only or do they even meet?
If u wanna save family collect evidence and tell mom to stop doing this shit, think of it like eveveryone makes mistakes and give her a chance, ik it will be hard for you guys but, its for saving dad and the relationships.
Don't get involved. They are adults too and you're better off not sticking your nose into a pile of shit.
Bro ur mom didn't just cheat, she betrayed your father. Ur the eldest son, take care of your sister and give a shoulder for your dad.
I would suggest getting the solid evidence then talk with your mom first, hearing her out, then decide if you wanna proceed further.
>If I tell my dad everything will be over It was already over the moment your mom started her fling. Good luck to whatever decision you come up with, i can only imagine how hard it must be on you and your sister. Regardless of how you decide to handle your family affairs, please try to shield your sister from all this as she is very young and the most vulnerable. Ask her to step away and stop snooping around etc and tell her you will handle it
That is such a sad situation.
have you watched movie blackmail of irfan khan ? you can do something like that
Focus on your studies. Support your sister to do so. Put extra effort to keep your mental health good. Do things that make your sister feel that you will be there for her. Things may or may not work in your favour even if you tell your father about this. Focus on yourselves. Accept and understand not everyone follows society's construct and expectations.
Just inform your father. He'll handle it. Don't do anything on your own.
Install a Spy app on your mom's phone. Behave normal. Gather information about the other man, Facebook, insta etc then go to dad. Do it after your exams. Look your mother made a choice and her life is passing by but yours is about start, keep it normal. Every sinner has a future. After you have all the proofs aptly tell your father about everything. If your mom wants to leave let then let her go because the more you or your father resist the deeper the scars will be.
if you can get her phone once go to whatsapp web on a pc or search whatsweb on android and make a clone of the whatsapp to get info, log in to the gmail account if you can, you can get all social passwords if you are lucky.
Really sad to hear that you have to go through this OP. Especially at 17yo. I understand what you’re going through. I went through something similar when I was 14yo. I have caught my mother with multiple people at multiple times and I too have a curious younger brother like your sister and just like your case he also found my mom texting on a separate phone and obv he cracked the password and saw his own mother’s nudes. Soon my father found out and everything went to hell for me for months. Somehow I was the one keeping my dad sane when he started drinking and stopped going to work. I never had the guts to tell my dad because what would I say? And how would he react? Indian parents believe in once married always married concept a little too much and so when something like this happens they can’t bear it. Naturally when my father found out, I told him about rest of the encounters too and everything went downhill. Then one day my father draws a line and says that no one will ever look past this date. It will never be discussed and nothing like this ever happened. 10years later in 24 now and last year I caught my mom with another guy while dad was away. Only this time confronted him and kicked him out of the house. My relationship with my parents is very sore so I don’t really care what they do anymore. But borderline bro, whether or not you tell your dad, whether or not you collect evidence, the fact is that if you and your sister found out, then your mom isn’t very good at hiding it and it’s only a matter of time before you dad finds out. All I’ll say is he prepared for the worse. Get stronger by then and think independently. Because when this comes it, certain amount of burden will fall on you.
Hi OP - I’m really concerned by the comments on this post. You are very young. As someone who is way older and has seen more than you, I hope you’ll consider my advice seriously. Please do not collect evidence, go to your dad etc. As difficult as the situation is, the relationship your parents have with each other is their own business. I know you feel resentment towards your mom, but regardless of what she’s doing, her love towards you hasn’t changed. Maybe your parents have hit a rough patch, it’s nothing that they cannot fix on their own. And it’s not your job to fix it either. Focus on your studies. Your sister is too young to be involved and be traumatised by this. Tell her it’s nothing and get her to stop snooping around. Once your exams are out of the way and if you are still bothered by it, you can talk to your mom. Maybe she’ll have an explanation or it could act as a catalyst for her to fix things with your dad.
Have you considered this - maybe your Mom isn’t happy in the relationship with your father? And she may have broken it off with him, but for you and your sister? With that perspective, what she’s doing is a sacrifice - or maybe your parents are in an open relationship & are seeing separate partners? Stop being Sherlock Holmes. The way I see it is - Looks like you’re looking for an excuse to screw your exams - my suggestion: focus on them & do well and get out. This way, you build a strong parallel option for your little sister and your other parent (Mom or Dad), should this shit hit the fan. You’re not the man/ husband in this relationship. Focus on your job - study! If you strongly believe that your Mom is wrong, then do the right thing by asking her about it. Lay it out and ask her what she wants to do - break the news to your father and/ or stop the relationship. The fact remains the relationship between your parents is already done for. It’s a matter of when, not if.
Dude. Focus on your goddamn exam. I know this is a horrible situation to be in but at this moment if you get caught or confess, shit could hit the fan in multiple ways and absolutely destroy your life as you know it. You don’t know how your father is going to react, you don’t know what your mother is further capable of; your first course of action should be to protect your sister, she’s a kid, make sure she doesn’t snoop or does anything to get in trouble. Secondly, make sure you study for your exam. Don’t mess with your life because of other’s actions, remember; hope for the best, plan for the worst. Study hard and make sure you’re set up for success so that you can then step up and care for your sister if the adults go crazy.
Its ridiculous how harsh the comments on reddit can be. If (very slim chance) your mother is having an affair, I am sorry you are going through this. But you should know this is neither your or your sister's fault. Both of you should know that. My 2 cents here (and high possibility), it seems your mother is being scammed. With what you said, she seems to be a nice lady who tried to help her family as much as she could. Scammers are predators who prey on the gullible. They try to find someone who is attention starved. Say nice words and charm them. The action you stated, where they ask for all recorded chats and videos, clearly states that this is an ongoing scam. They will take everything you have (bank accounts, passwords, etc). You need to tell your father immediately. Go to the police. If you think you can handle it, take her to the police. And immediately. You dont know what all your mother has shared already. Tell your father to immediately change all passwords and mot share with anyone. (Including your mom atleast for the time being till everything is settled). You have to do this ASAP. Your mother will need some counseling later. She will not believe how could someone so sweet (scammer) have such intentions. That is what these sick pros do. She will be heartbroken and embarrassed. Tldr: this is a scam. Change all passwords. Go to the police asap before the msgs are deleted. Hopefully, they may be able to catch the culprit. Good luck.
Collect evidence and save it over emails for your father’s safety. Tell everything to your dad and ask him to file for a divorce.
I had something similar happening to me. Mom cheating on dad with another man I know. I’m going to refer to him as Pig since he abused me later. I found out when I was around your sister’s age (maybe 13). It was too obvious and she wouldn’t even try to delete the evidence. The mistake in my case is that I DID NOT CONFRONT HER. I let it grow thinking maybe mom is interested in this and she deserves a good relationship. (My father has been very very shitty and very abusive). Later this turned against me when he abused me when I was 15. Worst part is my own mother would not take my side. She would say that I seduced him (I WAS A KID!). Later he had even taken around 2lakhs money from her and started gaslighting her, full manipulative behavior. Mom had to take her own time understanding, worst part, the Pig had a wife and daughter of his own. Dad did his own nasty dig on her by spying on her, recording her phone conversations, etc,. My one piece of advice is to confront your mom first. Collect evidence. Think what’s best for you and your sister first. This is not usual, this is definitely not normal, but you’ll get through this. I’m not aware of the dynamics in your family, so I’m not able to give you more advice.