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Talk to her social worker. If she is in a residential home then there are other issues you may not know about.
If she won't let you talk to her social worker, then don't let her stay.
This is good advice. You need to make sure she has permission to stay over anyway (don’t want police at your house looking for her) and I expect sleeping arrangements will come up in the conversation.
Based on what I know having worked with children in care, the social worker would need to do some basic checks on you and your son before they allowed her to stay over and it would be highly unlikely they would allow her to do so if it was clear she would be having underage sex.
The sad truth is that teenage girls in care are incredibly vulnerable, are literally prayed upon by some men (I’m not suggesting for a moment that this is the case here) and sadly are less likely to make the right decisions for themselves because of the effects of trauma and rejection by / separation from parents. So those caring for them *should* set a high bar when it comes to ensuring their safety and wellbeing.
Regardless of her staying over, a conversation with her social worker will be necessary at some point.
Social worker will definitely want background checks on all adults in the house. This was the case for us when a couple of kids under Social services care came to stay over with us for a couple of nights. Background check didn't need to be clean but obviously had to be free of anything concerning for looking after children. In our case the children's mother made the initial contact with Social services and then we spoke with their keyworker.
How does this usually go? "Hi I'm [sons] dad, they're close, I'd be fine to let her stop around if she wants but dont want to scare people, what do you need to know?"
That would probably be fine, maybe just “Hi, I’m X’s dad who is Y’s boyfriend, I just thought I’d better make contact with you as I would if she was living with her parents.”
Given that some or all of her parental responsibility will sit with the council I think it’s very unlikely she will be given permission to stay over at her boyfriend’s when they are both 15. I don’t know if there is any implication for inviting her or for having her to stay without permission. I agree that it’s wise to be in contact with an adult who has responsibility for her in the same way you would (I imagine!) have some contact with parents for friends/girlfriends who live with their families.
I lived in residential care and we just told the staff where we were going, I had no access to my social worker, I didn't need their permission to stay places. Residential care isn't prison for bad kids, it's a place for those who don't have anyone else to look after them and are usually too old to be fostered or adopted.
I don't think you'll have an issue OP unless she is under supervision, I can't remember what it's called but there is a procedure for a minor if they do a lot of risky behaviour to keep them safe, but if she's already coming over and going on trips to a caravan with him then, then it seems unlikely.
Trying to reach out to her social worker seems like a huge over step. If you're worried about it, talk to the manager at the home and then they can advise what to do next.
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A few issues to consider:
- you say they’re about the same age. The younger she is and the bigger the age gap the greater the potential for difficulties.
- in theory if you knowingly allow them to have sexual intercourse in your home you could be charged with aiding and abetting unlawful intercourse, again unlikely, but if for instance she’s 13/14 it becomes more risky for potential prosecutions.
- as intercourse under the age of 16 is unlawful your son and you need to have an understanding of her family dynamics, social worker involvement, vulnerability etc. to understand her situation and how likely and prosecutions are.
- in reality it’s very unlikely her care plan and social worker will agree to overnight stays with a boyfriend, as underage sexual intercourse is against the law and a public authority has no reasonable way to approve that. Overnight stays with certain friends/family are common which is how I suspect she has managed to do this so far. I don’t see any carer approving an overnight romantic stay for a child under 16
In order for her to stay at your home you / she would need permission from the home / social worker - and they would need to know exactly where she would be sleeping.
If you allow her to stay without getting this agreement then she may end up being reported as missing / runaway - you could end up with social services or police knocking your door.
Also, I'm wondering, but do not know, so this is a question as much as anything else...if you are permitting her to stay, especially if she is as classed as vulnerable or at risk, specifically for the purposes of allowing sexual conduct between minors...might this be an additional legal issue?
It's not just to have sex ive just made it clear to my son Id rather it happen in a safe environment rather than under some random bridge
There's a spare bed which she can use
I understand that, but he is your son, and is in your care - she is in the care of the state, and they make decisions as to where she can stay, and with who
It would be dodgy for you. The thing is, she’s already in a vulnerable position and by letting her stay over when you know they are sexually active, you are likely committing an inchoate offence (which means you are allowing, encouraging or assisting in a crime, the crime being underage sex.) Legally speaking underage sex is an offence regardless of how responsible the couple are. It’s unlikely THEY will get into trouble, being of a similar age but YOU might, because you are the responsible adult.
At worst you could be an accessory to statutory rape. It rather depends how the judge sees it.
The fact she’s in a care home could become an aggravating factor should you get caught, because she may be considered vulnerable, which would worsen the seriousness of the offence. You would need to know a lot more about her. If for example she has a protected characteristic like autism or a disability then your son might get in trouble because it could appear he’s taking advantage.
My advice? Don’t go there. Day meetings would look better than having her stay overnight.
Legally it's a criminal offence for your 15 year old son to be having sex, although in practice teenagers the same age are not pursued by the law for having sex. To answer properly we need better than "about the same age".
When you say that his girlfriend is in a care home, is this like a children's home/orphanage? Or does she have some serious health concern that necessitates an actual care home? Any reason she would be seen as "a vulnerable person" or incapable of giving consent?
Perhaps it depends whether you would discuss with a girlfriend's parents in this situation; if you would not, the risks of that decision may be higher where she's a ward of the state.
Childrens care home. Not illness. She seems like a nice lass from having known her the last year. I havent pried but I am told her family situation was bad and she didnt have family suitable for looking after her
They're both in the same year group and turn 16 around the same time around autumn
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As an ex public protection detective this is screaming risk at me.
Yes USI is a crime. They probably won't get convicted of it but it only needs on teenage tiff and she can make a complaint of a crime against him. He really doesn't want ANY suggestion on his criminal record he had sex with a minor even if he was one at the time too.
Secondly there is NO WAY a care home would let her go out over night to have sex with a boyfriend. She is probably going missing from there to be with him and the police are probably regularly wasting resources looking for her. There is no way she had permission to stop in a caravan with your son so she head probably lied to her care workers. You need to tell her social worker everything.
Thirdly if they are active sexually in person they are almost certainly active sexually digitally, creating, sharing indecent images of children. Yes you have a had a conversation about not sharing images but purely creating and storing them IS a crime. Again they are both acting criminally and the consequences could be life changing for all of you.
Fourthly you have a risk of teenage pregnancy in what will be GCSE year for them.
Next if you have her overnight at your address, away from her place of care YOU commit an offence of harbouring at the very least, possibly even a technical kidnap. You are also aiding and abetting unlawful sexual intercourse. There are serious consequences possible for you including social services looking at YOUR care of your son.
She is extremely vulnerable.
Your attitude as a parent is terrible. They are on the brink of ruining their lives at a very early age and you are doing nothing to safeguard them, you are in fact condoning it. There are risks to her, risks to your son and risk to you.
It's going to end very badly unless you grip this situation.
Are you American?
NAL: OP, [this CPS guidance](https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/rape-and-sexual-offences-chapter-7-key-legislation-and-offences) gives a better idea of the offences under the Sexual Offences Act 2003. Relevant aspects being ss.9-12 and s.13, which outlines that it is offence for two consenting people under 16 to engage in sexual activities. Nowhere does this use the phrase 'rape' (assuming u/CMDR_Crook means statutory rape). The Act doesn't use this phrase either.
I will leave it for someone with actual practical knowledge to give any advice, though I'd lean against allowing this seeing as both are under the age of consent (even if prosecution is highly unlikely).
Not unless they're under 13, which OP hasn't stated. If they're 13-15, then it's still an offense, but not that specific offence. Not condoning this in any way, but CPS & Police advice state this, and belows link which goes into a bit more detail.
https://thirtyoneeight.org/help-and-resources/help-guides/understanding-underage-sex/
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--- ###Welcome to /r/LegalAdviceUK --- **To Posters (it is important you read this section)** * *Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws in each are very different* * If you need legal help, you should [always get a free consultation from a qualified Solicitor](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/how_to_find_a_solicitor) * We also encourage you to speak to [**Citizens Advice**](https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/), [**Shelter**](https://www.shelter.org.uk/), [**Acas**](https://www.acas.org.uk/), and [**other useful organisations**](https://reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/wiki/common_legal_resources) * Comments may not be accurate or reliable, and following any advice on this subreddit is done at your own risk * If you receive any private messages in response to your post, [please let the mods know](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdviceUK&subject=I received a PM) **To Readers and Commenters** * All replies to OP must be *on-topic, helpful, and legally orientated* * If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/about/rules/), you may be perma-banned without any further warning * If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect * Do not send or request any private messages for any reason * Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LegalAdviceUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Talk to her social worker. If she is in a residential home then there are other issues you may not know about. If she won't let you talk to her social worker, then don't let her stay.
This is good advice. You need to make sure she has permission to stay over anyway (don’t want police at your house looking for her) and I expect sleeping arrangements will come up in the conversation.
Based on what I know having worked with children in care, the social worker would need to do some basic checks on you and your son before they allowed her to stay over and it would be highly unlikely they would allow her to do so if it was clear she would be having underage sex. The sad truth is that teenage girls in care are incredibly vulnerable, are literally prayed upon by some men (I’m not suggesting for a moment that this is the case here) and sadly are less likely to make the right decisions for themselves because of the effects of trauma and rejection by / separation from parents. So those caring for them *should* set a high bar when it comes to ensuring their safety and wellbeing. Regardless of her staying over, a conversation with her social worker will be necessary at some point.
Social worker will definitely want background checks on all adults in the house. This was the case for us when a couple of kids under Social services care came to stay over with us for a couple of nights. Background check didn't need to be clean but obviously had to be free of anything concerning for looking after children. In our case the children's mother made the initial contact with Social services and then we spoke with their keyworker.
How does this usually go? "Hi I'm [sons] dad, they're close, I'd be fine to let her stop around if she wants but dont want to scare people, what do you need to know?"
That would probably be fine, maybe just “Hi, I’m X’s dad who is Y’s boyfriend, I just thought I’d better make contact with you as I would if she was living with her parents.”
Given that some or all of her parental responsibility will sit with the council I think it’s very unlikely she will be given permission to stay over at her boyfriend’s when they are both 15. I don’t know if there is any implication for inviting her or for having her to stay without permission. I agree that it’s wise to be in contact with an adult who has responsibility for her in the same way you would (I imagine!) have some contact with parents for friends/girlfriends who live with their families.
I lived in residential care and we just told the staff where we were going, I had no access to my social worker, I didn't need their permission to stay places. Residential care isn't prison for bad kids, it's a place for those who don't have anyone else to look after them and are usually too old to be fostered or adopted. I don't think you'll have an issue OP unless she is under supervision, I can't remember what it's called but there is a procedure for a minor if they do a lot of risky behaviour to keep them safe, but if she's already coming over and going on trips to a caravan with him then, then it seems unlikely. Trying to reach out to her social worker seems like a huge over step. If you're worried about it, talk to the manager at the home and then they can advise what to do next.
The social worker is responsible for the welfare of the child. Their delegated responsibility will not extend to overnight stays with a boyfriend.
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If it counts for anything I've been through clearance up to UK SC so that would probably be in my favour DBS wise
Part of the terms of your SC include not disclosing your status, mate
Came here to say that haha
A few issues to consider: - you say they’re about the same age. The younger she is and the bigger the age gap the greater the potential for difficulties. - in theory if you knowingly allow them to have sexual intercourse in your home you could be charged with aiding and abetting unlawful intercourse, again unlikely, but if for instance she’s 13/14 it becomes more risky for potential prosecutions. - as intercourse under the age of 16 is unlawful your son and you need to have an understanding of her family dynamics, social worker involvement, vulnerability etc. to understand her situation and how likely and prosecutions are. - in reality it’s very unlikely her care plan and social worker will agree to overnight stays with a boyfriend, as underage sexual intercourse is against the law and a public authority has no reasonable way to approve that. Overnight stays with certain friends/family are common which is how I suspect she has managed to do this so far. I don’t see any carer approving an overnight romantic stay for a child under 16
In order for her to stay at your home you / she would need permission from the home / social worker - and they would need to know exactly where she would be sleeping. If you allow her to stay without getting this agreement then she may end up being reported as missing / runaway - you could end up with social services or police knocking your door. Also, I'm wondering, but do not know, so this is a question as much as anything else...if you are permitting her to stay, especially if she is as classed as vulnerable or at risk, specifically for the purposes of allowing sexual conduct between minors...might this be an additional legal issue?
It's not just to have sex ive just made it clear to my son Id rather it happen in a safe environment rather than under some random bridge There's a spare bed which she can use
I understand that, but he is your son, and is in your care - she is in the care of the state, and they make decisions as to where she can stay, and with who
It would be dodgy for you. The thing is, she’s already in a vulnerable position and by letting her stay over when you know they are sexually active, you are likely committing an inchoate offence (which means you are allowing, encouraging or assisting in a crime, the crime being underage sex.) Legally speaking underage sex is an offence regardless of how responsible the couple are. It’s unlikely THEY will get into trouble, being of a similar age but YOU might, because you are the responsible adult. At worst you could be an accessory to statutory rape. It rather depends how the judge sees it. The fact she’s in a care home could become an aggravating factor should you get caught, because she may be considered vulnerable, which would worsen the seriousness of the offence. You would need to know a lot more about her. If for example she has a protected characteristic like autism or a disability then your son might get in trouble because it could appear he’s taking advantage. My advice? Don’t go there. Day meetings would look better than having her stay overnight.
Legally it's a criminal offence for your 15 year old son to be having sex, although in practice teenagers the same age are not pursued by the law for having sex. To answer properly we need better than "about the same age". When you say that his girlfriend is in a care home, is this like a children's home/orphanage? Or does she have some serious health concern that necessitates an actual care home? Any reason she would be seen as "a vulnerable person" or incapable of giving consent? Perhaps it depends whether you would discuss with a girlfriend's parents in this situation; if you would not, the risks of that decision may be higher where she's a ward of the state.
Childrens care home. Not illness. She seems like a nice lass from having known her the last year. I havent pried but I am told her family situation was bad and she didnt have family suitable for looking after her They're both in the same year group and turn 16 around the same time around autumn
Care homes are for kids removed from their parents care by social services for whatever reason.
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As an ex public protection detective this is screaming risk at me. Yes USI is a crime. They probably won't get convicted of it but it only needs on teenage tiff and she can make a complaint of a crime against him. He really doesn't want ANY suggestion on his criminal record he had sex with a minor even if he was one at the time too. Secondly there is NO WAY a care home would let her go out over night to have sex with a boyfriend. She is probably going missing from there to be with him and the police are probably regularly wasting resources looking for her. There is no way she had permission to stop in a caravan with your son so she head probably lied to her care workers. You need to tell her social worker everything. Thirdly if they are active sexually in person they are almost certainly active sexually digitally, creating, sharing indecent images of children. Yes you have a had a conversation about not sharing images but purely creating and storing them IS a crime. Again they are both acting criminally and the consequences could be life changing for all of you. Fourthly you have a risk of teenage pregnancy in what will be GCSE year for them. Next if you have her overnight at your address, away from her place of care YOU commit an offence of harbouring at the very least, possibly even a technical kidnap. You are also aiding and abetting unlawful sexual intercourse. There are serious consequences possible for you including social services looking at YOUR care of your son. She is extremely vulnerable. Your attitude as a parent is terrible. They are on the brink of ruining their lives at a very early age and you are doing nothing to safeguard them, you are in fact condoning it. There are risks to her, risks to your son and risk to you. It's going to end very badly unless you grip this situation.
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Are you American? NAL: OP, [this CPS guidance](https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/rape-and-sexual-offences-chapter-7-key-legislation-and-offences) gives a better idea of the offences under the Sexual Offences Act 2003. Relevant aspects being ss.9-12 and s.13, which outlines that it is offence for two consenting people under 16 to engage in sexual activities. Nowhere does this use the phrase 'rape' (assuming u/CMDR_Crook means statutory rape). The Act doesn't use this phrase either. I will leave it for someone with actual practical knowledge to give any advice, though I'd lean against allowing this seeing as both are under the age of consent (even if prosecution is highly unlikely).
Not unless they're under 13, which OP hasn't stated. If they're 13-15, then it's still an offense, but not that specific offence. Not condoning this in any way, but CPS & Police advice state this, and belows link which goes into a bit more detail. https://thirtyoneeight.org/help-and-resources/help-guides/understanding-underage-sex/
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