I agree and just want to leave two quick resources for anyone who resonates:
- [CBT](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21208-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-cbt) is an incredible tool to help with excessive, and or negative thinking.
- [ACT](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy?amp) is equally as freeing and a great addition to CBT.
There are a ton of free worksheets, exercises, and workshops online. Apps, guided journals, you name it. Heck even Pinterest has great visual aids and practice work.
CBT changed my entire perception of the world, and most importantly, how powerful our mind is.
**ETA:** please ignore the misinformation being posted by people who, unfortunately, don’t demonstrate an understanding of or attempt in using CBT. CBT is not a magic pill — it is a process for overcoming negative thinking and takes work (as all models of therapy do). Why people want to discourage those in need of help, and discredit the most widely used model of therapy is beyond me. Don’t give up.
Here is a [great visual](https://www.rachelhavekost.com/blog/cognitive-distortions-understanding-unhelpful-thinking-patterns) that illustrates unhelpful thinking patterns, commonly referred to as “cognitive distortions,” accompanied by examples.
If you look at legitimate research you will find that CBT is a science based approach, and the most common, most studied, and most used form psychotherapy.
Shit man sorry to hear that, can i ask tho what that actually feels like in early stages, not meaning to be rude just curious what i have to expect when i get there.
I did not notice right away it was more my husband, than the kids. Wierd things. getting lost walking my 16 yr old dog. Waking up in the morning not recognizing my own bedroom. I was an o.r. tech forgetting simple things like forgetting to do certain duties in a o.r. forgetting we just had a huddle in the mornings. Honestly it feels like the old computers with the little running man trying to connect to AOL back in the day complete with that noise. 🤣🤣. Alot of foggy feeling. Sometimes I'm ok but other times I trying to figure things out. Yup . Right now I'm on a patch for early onset alzheimers. An my husband says I repeat things at times, or I will ask several times thru out the day ,"what's today. " my biggest issue is forgetting my recipes I'm Hispanic so everything we do is around food.
god, i’m so sorry that you’re going through that. that’s definitely one of my biggest fears. thank you for replying and talking about it. i hope things work out for you.
I see what you mean as a disabled veteran myself, but, unlike prison (or jail) a disability can be overcome or at least optimized as best you can. So I am sticking with a bad marriage you cannot get out of.
My son has severe autism and i often fear he’s trapped in his own body. Like Deep down he’s perfectly normal, has coherent thoughts and ideas but his body won’t let him express them. It keeps me awake at night.
I’m so sorry. If you have access to any support, please don’t feel like you have to sacrifice your whole life for him. I recognize there may be no support, but please know it’s OK to not sacrifice everything for another person.
This is it. Not my son, but my brother has severe cerebral palsy and can hardly even communicate at all, he can't really do anything for himself without making a mess out hurting himself, and for the slightest things (someone sneezing in the other room), he'll start throwing a massive, and usually violent, tantrum. Since both of my parents work, I'm usually the one stuck watching after him after he gets out of school until one of them gets home, and while it's only a few hours, I'm practically under house arrest for them and they're right at the time of day most people would be trying to do stuff, so my social life is severely hurt by this.
(No hate) but why not try to send him to an adult facilty with similar people to your son? There's programs like that where they'll take care of them so the parents don't have to.
Not OP but my sister was in that situation. There was no help for her anywhere. Respite care said he was too difficult to have him there, even an hour. She asked for services from the state and they said the only way she could receive them is if she gave up custody. She couldn't look after him after a while and giving up custody was just too much for her- she ended up committing suicide.
I'm so sorry for your loss. That's so heartbreaking. I get lost in my own situations and reading this just breaks my heart. Sending my love and condolences.
An incredible tragedy, and betrayal by our government. I am so sorry, my heart truly aches for you right now. I hope you’re able to cope and find some comfort in memories 💛
This just completely SHATTERED my heart to pieces..."developed world" my ass. My family has chronically suffered in a similar way. You have the blood and tissue of my heart in your hands. God bless you. Whatever bless you. Anything fucking bless you, please 🙏.
They are really expensive. Really expensive. And a lot of them truthfully can be cruel to the people they care for. But not always so it is worth taking a look if one can afford it
Yeah I guess you'd have to just find a good one with caring staff. Didn't know there were still bad ones, thought they were all at least pretty decent by now.
The caregiving field has poor benefits, severe burn out rates, and a toxic environment where management doesnt care. The people working may have good intentions but its exhausting and each of them are being mistreated in some manner
When I was an elder care facility administrator there were also a LOT of injuries. In California where I was licensed the workman's comp premiums for nurse aides was 33% of the payroll. For every dollar we paid in wages 33 cents went to workman's comp insurance. Part of why care is so expensive. Now if we had universal healthcare that would be cut in half overnight. Injured employees would still need temporary disability while they heal, but the medical payments would be zeroed out.
Unfortunately not, it's the same with nursing homes. Horrendous treatment. A lot of patients there have dementia and aren't able to articulate the abuse going on.
I used to caregive for a developmentally disabled adult and her mom was in a nursing home, so I took her there to visit often. It was horrendous, absolutely horrendous. Once the nurses overdosed her mom on opioids by accident and I was running around the place trying to find a nurse or someone (I did not have narcan on me and didnt know where they kept their stuff), but they were so lethargic about coming to help, then when they did as her mom was unresponsive, white as a sheet, sweating, they said she should sleep it off.
It was like an actual alternate reality horror movie. I also always strongly suspected they were chemically restraining all the patients because I never saw anyone out of their rooms and if I did they were in a chair facing a wall or something like zombies with blank stares and no response.
It's so bad. I'm really sorry you had to see and experience that. There's no justice, everything gets covered up. It's just the powerlessness of it all. I think some are chemically restrained, but I think others are severely depressed. I remember we had to call some of our patients out for activity time and there was one lady, she was sitting alone in a pitch dark room. I turn on one of the lamps and asked her if she wanted to go out to activity. She looked so sad and defeated. I sat and talk with her for a little while and she was telling me about how much she missed being able to do things, to go to work and just be a normal person. Things like this just broke my heart.
This all goes back to how insanely messed up our society is. They want broken families, generational trauma. It's all about $$. Keep families estranged and broken. Have broken children go out and make more broken families. Then toss your family members into these homes because everyone is traumatized and angry at each other and no one is healed. It's a foreign concept in the states to have grandmothers, and aunts and cousins and full families living near or with each other. It's just so weird. It's like we want to get as far away as we can from our families when we hit adulthood. Then we turn around and wonder why the world is so lonely and broken. Sometimes, enough has to be enough and we have to break these curses and go against societal norms. "Oh you're a loser if you live at home with your parents in your 30s" "Oh, you haven't moved 5 states away from your primary family, started a new family that you know you can't emotionally or financially support, and struggle every day? What's wrong with you?!!?"
I did some time in my 20’s and when I got out my mom that I really hadn’t talked to for a long time said to come stay with her instead of going into the government program that would set me up with my own (supervised) apartment. She had locks put in that required a key to leave the house, and if I went out a window an alarm would go off. She actually held me prisoner. I was like damn this is so much worse. I ended up talking to my PO and she helped me get a different living situation. I don’t talk to anyone in my family any more. I live a normal middle class life now.
My husband has did time in both too. He always says he'd rather be in prison than any jail to serve time. He's got me hooked on what I call a prison meal. Lol it's ramen noodles, tuna, mayo, and so on. This first time I tried it I didn't know what to think. 🤢 But for some reason I love it now. Even our toddler loves it.🤣 I love my dad but I'm almost no contact. He's sometimes so hateful towards me I leave in tears. Idk when he started hating me but he did. He seems annoyed by my existence. But my sister can do no wrong. If I ask to borrow money I get talked to terrible but all she's got to do is ask and it's a yeah. It's painful having a parent that sucks all the joy out from beneath you.
Really bad debt is horrible. It really paralyzes you if you already live paycheck to paycheck. All my anxiety is from my debt. Recently I finally payed off my credit card that got up to 14k. Now I can focus on paying my college loans 🙄
I have MDD and I would say that if I were allowed to lay around and do very little and get to sleep a lot, I would prefer to be in prison over living real life, IF in a depressive state. If there’s one word I could use to describe depression, it would be “fatigue”. Sleeping my life away and not having to take care of myself or anybody else is all I want to do when I’m depressed and it creates so much anxiety to have to get up every day and perform a job for 8 hours. BUT I’ve never been to prison so that’s just my gut feeling.
I was an alcoholic for 20 years. 90 days sober today - it took jail and possible prison time, AA, intensive outpatient treatment, a therapist, and a psychiatrist to get this far. Hardest thing I ever did in my life was quit drinking and I completed a bachelor's and 2 masters degrees - shitfaced.
Being a quadriplegic and dependent on a ventilator to breathe and a peg tube for food. You can't move your legs and your arms. You can't feed yourself and you can't control your bowels.
I was gonna say this. My heart absolute breaks for anyone with a c1-c3 injury. It must be the worst possible hell. You’re just a head with a body you can’t use. Not even being able to breath without a vent must be horrible. They can’t even cough on their own and need a machine to get the mucus out. So many things we take for granted. I can’t imagine.
Being a child/minor with emotionally and physically abusive parents. You have no authority over yourself in terms of the law, and you’re stuck to suffer until you become a legal adult and gain some authority simply because you’re now at least 18
Being so disabled that you can’t enjoy life. Being deaf and inability to walk for long periods of time is so depressing. Not to mention being in pain due to having brain damage. This shit hard to live . Having to live in a body that doesn’t work right is worse than prison in my opinion.
I was destroyed financially in a divorce. Ill save the sob story. Ex used every legal trick avail to get custody and a high child support payment. Lied bout her own income etc... ive been looking at the day my daughter turns 18 as the end of my prison sentence. Its not actual prison but financial. Cant afford abything but rent and food. No insurance. No fun stuff.. any extra i get that doesnt go to bills i spend on gifts for my kids.
I got 1 year 10 months left. My son already turned 18 thankfully so the burden is less... but i cant wait to be able to afford health insurance or a car payment...
Son got his associates degree recently too a d daughters on track to graduate highschool with her associates too...
Being an inpatient in a psych ward. You're basically confined to the hospital unit unless you're given clearance from your psychiatrist to leave. Sometimes you can go off unit, but most of the time you can't leave the hospital grounds without being accompanied by a relative or friend.
If you go really nuts, they place you in "high observation" which is basically like solitary confinement. If you go nuts in there or become violent they can lock the door to your room remotely.
A life where you just did not get dealt the right cards, you made god-awful bad decisions (but also god awful bad decisions were made by others affecting you too) but you otherwise fucked around and pissed away your life just trying to chase dopamine and so every possible opportunity just flew right on by bc you were too busy squeezing the dopamine out of it just to get by and now even if you are trying to be serious and get it back on track youre paying the consequences in dividends of that dopamine chasing and youre just so goddamned far behind that there is just no viable realistic way you can ever make it respectably back to in the running of a doing the bare-minimum contributing member of society and so sure you may not be in a literal steel bars prison, but you sure as hell are in a prison of steel bars in your mind. You cant enjoy anything bc youve gotten so used to doing things wrong all you know is how to do things wrong. And usually (i say usually i wont say always) people distance themself or stay away from you bc youre bad news or a bad pony to bet on etc. etc. and hobbies or anything that brings you joy and fulfillment costs money you dont have meanwhile whatever you do have is falling apart and you have to spend time and money on that trying to repair a ship taking on water with tools you just dont have or parts youre never gonna get. Metaphorically and literally.
That to me is the closest thing to prison.
Homeless shelters. Went to one after getting out of jail and it felt like I was back in jail. In fact, many have more rules than jail or prison do. For example, you can stay up as late as you want in prison. At a shelter you have to go to bed when they tell you like a child.
Being stuck in a super shitty nursing home. I can only do so much for my patients but the administrators and corporate don't care about them.
Next hell hole idea would be for my patients that are paralyzed or cannot move or think for themselves anymore and are fully conscious
Hmmm, either abject poverty or the inability to change your own mind. I say this because for people stuck in abject poverty they have no real autonomy, no opportunity, and no control over what happens to them. Sadly, the same can be said about people who don’t have the ability to change their own mind.
Whether actually living in a 3rd world country, or living in a first world country with a 3rd world mindset, you are still trapped by forces beyond your own immediate control. Such examples include racists, gang members, hardcore conspiracy theorists, and hardcore evangelicals.
I say this because if you are unable to change your own mind even when confronted with evidence, or the knowledge that your perspective makes you a shitty person, you possess no real power of your own. You are fated by you beliefs. This is probably worse than prison.
My mind. Honestly. My expectations, hopes, and dreams. Too much attachment to it and obsessing over your goals will trap you forever.
It's a work in progress and will take time :)
Sorry maybe too deep, lol
The closest thing I have experienced was an LDS mission: two years of following two books of rules, with higher-ups monitoring compliance. You cannot leave your companion for any reason so if you and them are very incompatible and emotionally wrecking each other or they just want to do nothing there's nothing you can do but stick it out for 2-3 months. If you have a phone, it's restricted to minimal apps and audited weekly. I thought about the Thomas Rhett song blame it on the backroad every day after the first time I heard it out there, and my brain planned so many ways to get out of there, in one way or another. Somehow I did the time but if I had the choice to do it again with the knowledge I know now, ain't no way, I value my personal freedom and mental health too much.
Being unemployed.
I sat around bored as hell and terrified for my survival. Waiting to get the job from the places you applied to is so stressful. Trying to go about your daily life with the major limitation that is a dwindling back account.
Military enlistment with bad leadership.
Since I couldn't bring myself to kiss the asses of non-deployable junior NCOs who were at my same paygrade, I was targeted continuously for njp/article 15. I eventually had to get a lawyer and visit the inspector general. I had to push erroneous article 15s to courts marshall more than once in order to avoid having my pay and rank stolen. (The penalty for the article 15 was 45 days without pay and 45 days extra duty.) It was basically slavery.
After almost a year of this abuse, the Inspector general launched an investigation of that unit. Several NCOs were demoted as a result. One of them broke into my barracks room and stole my PlayStation and some TA50. He was chaptered out. His buddy tried to swing on me while I was at parade rest. I had him arrested. That unit almost ruined me. I've never been closer to committing murder in my life. When I ETSed, they tried to strip me of awards and commendations I had earned at previous units. I went back to the inspector general. They had committed several crimes by attempting to alter my records. I finished my contract honorably. I cannot recommend military enlistment to anyone. Prison would be preferable.
Being stuck in a loveless marriage. I have someone close to me currently living through it and it Is so sad. They are on their last good years too, so it’s like you are watching someone who has given up and is just waiting to check out because death would be a better option than the current situation.
My second husband and the home he kept me confined to with a state-of-the-art interior CCTV package that I was never supposed to find out about. But did.
You can use your imagination as to what my ex did with the footage. You don’t want to know. ❤️🩹
Yes, I fled our home the third and final time on September 17, 2022. It was hard getting back on my feet, but the gratitude for being alive is the best gift ever.
Thank you for asking. Now when I look back at my 8-year relationship, I see the warning signs and red flags with perfect clarity through hindsight.
Definitely a lesson for sure.
I’ve had a similar history with abusive relationships acquiring footage of me. I was very blank at the time it took a couple of years to get mad about it I hope you’re getting therapy for this thing you dealt with
being abused by family when you have no other place to go or any other choice (especially when you’re trying to help them)
so you’re basically trapped at home to
placate them and please them because you need somewhere to live but….🙃
Debt and illness/disability/mental illness. Limits your choices, abilities, options, can be isolating and you cannot escape. Since Covid, this is much worse than prior since those at high risk may be stuck at home alone still and have been for years.
Being highly at risk for Covid morbidity in a world that is make believe post covid, but just in reality filled with Covid but post Covid restrictions is extremely isolating. It makes dating, working, getting rx, getting food, getting healthcare/treatment all way too dangerous - especially if people don’t understand and or won’t mask.
When the kids aren’t with me, it feels like a prison sentence. I have zero motivation to do anything, but work and think about the old days being home.
A few people said Debt… which is true but a close second is being at a Psychward or mental institution… it’s horrible to not have the freedom to be outside, eating subpar meals, etc
Anhedonia.
It’s a symptom of depression and a few other mental illnesses. It’s the loss of all joy and pleasure. Any hobbies or activities that brought you joy in the past no longer brings you any enjoyment. Every day is just endless hours of boredom and every little thing feels like a huge effort.
Work. You sit there a majority of your waking hours, can’t workout, can’t prepare food, can’t do anything for your children/partner/pets, and get chewed out when you need to leave early or take a day off to take care of yourself or a family member.
Hmmmm Let's see.... 16 years of school that basically prepares us all for a great job in the Labor force unless your parents have money.... then spending the best years of your life (18-45) busting your ass to pay taxes.... and then finally wasting your golden days on a couch because you hurt everywhere and still have to pay your taxes, and then decide whether you want to buy groceries or your blood pressure medication this month.... yeah.... prison sounds better,,,,,
I feel like I'm in prison sometimes with my living situation: my "wife" basically voluntold me that we're in an open marriage, and that she considers us separated, cohabitating co-parents. I can't divorce though because she doesn't work enough to support herself and the kids, and didn't work at all for the early 8 years of our marriage after we had our first kid, so I'd have to pay her a significant amount of my salary if we divorced and thus I'd have to give up my house, and also she said if we divorce she'll contest if I want split custody, and a contested divorce in America costs many many thousands of dollars (I'd be looking at 25 to 50 thousand in costs basically). So I'm stuck, unless I want to give up my kids, house, tons of money, and then live like I'm poor. I do 90% of the cooking, cleaning and Housekeeping also... while she goes out and basically spends my money to hook up with other guys. Life is a cruel joke.
Excessive thinking You trap yourself in a mental prison of your own conjuring
I agree and just want to leave two quick resources for anyone who resonates: - [CBT](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21208-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-cbt) is an incredible tool to help with excessive, and or negative thinking. - [ACT](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy?amp) is equally as freeing and a great addition to CBT. There are a ton of free worksheets, exercises, and workshops online. Apps, guided journals, you name it. Heck even Pinterest has great visual aids and practice work. CBT changed my entire perception of the world, and most importantly, how powerful our mind is. **ETA:** please ignore the misinformation being posted by people who, unfortunately, don’t demonstrate an understanding of or attempt in using CBT. CBT is not a magic pill — it is a process for overcoming negative thinking and takes work (as all models of therapy do). Why people want to discourage those in need of help, and discredit the most widely used model of therapy is beyond me. Don’t give up. Here is a [great visual](https://www.rachelhavekost.com/blog/cognitive-distortions-understanding-unhelpful-thinking-patterns) that illustrates unhelpful thinking patterns, commonly referred to as “cognitive distortions,” accompanied by examples. If you look at legitimate research you will find that CBT is a science based approach, and the most common, most studied, and most used form psychotherapy.
This. I did a little bit of time when I was younger, but only in minimum security.. it had nothing on a mental prison!
Having a severely disabled adult son that can never be left alone (I do).
Bless you for real I think about this all the time. You are built different I hope you get everything you could ever want in life.
I think what he wants most in life is probably to not have a severely disabled son. Lol
Or like me I have alzheimers early onset so this is my prison.
Shit man sorry to hear that, can i ask tho what that actually feels like in early stages, not meaning to be rude just curious what i have to expect when i get there.
I did not notice right away it was more my husband, than the kids. Wierd things. getting lost walking my 16 yr old dog. Waking up in the morning not recognizing my own bedroom. I was an o.r. tech forgetting simple things like forgetting to do certain duties in a o.r. forgetting we just had a huddle in the mornings. Honestly it feels like the old computers with the little running man trying to connect to AOL back in the day complete with that noise. 🤣🤣. Alot of foggy feeling. Sometimes I'm ok but other times I trying to figure things out. Yup . Right now I'm on a patch for early onset alzheimers. An my husband says I repeat things at times, or I will ask several times thru out the day ,"what's today. " my biggest issue is forgetting my recipes I'm Hispanic so everything we do is around food.
god, i’m so sorry that you’re going through that. that’s definitely one of my biggest fears. thank you for replying and talking about it. i hope things work out for you.
Thank you. I so appreciated
I hope the treatments come through quickly. I'm 64 and the mental issues are looming.
One could argue that being disabled is, in and of itself, also like prison, though that depends on the type of disability.
Being paralyzed
But there is hope for paralysis, not today or even next year, but most people here will live to see the day when paralysis is no longer permanent.
I see what you mean as a disabled veteran myself, but, unlike prison (or jail) a disability can be overcome or at least optimized as best you can. So I am sticking with a bad marriage you cannot get out of.
My son has severe autism and i often fear he’s trapped in his own body. Like Deep down he’s perfectly normal, has coherent thoughts and ideas but his body won’t let him express them. It keeps me awake at night.
I’m so sorry. If you have access to any support, please don’t feel like you have to sacrifice your whole life for him. I recognize there may be no support, but please know it’s OK to not sacrifice everything for another person.
This is it. Not my son, but my brother has severe cerebral palsy and can hardly even communicate at all, he can't really do anything for himself without making a mess out hurting himself, and for the slightest things (someone sneezing in the other room), he'll start throwing a massive, and usually violent, tantrum. Since both of my parents work, I'm usually the one stuck watching after him after he gets out of school until one of them gets home, and while it's only a few hours, I'm practically under house arrest for them and they're right at the time of day most people would be trying to do stuff, so my social life is severely hurt by this.
I'm sorry
(No hate) but why not try to send him to an adult facilty with similar people to your son? There's programs like that where they'll take care of them so the parents don't have to.
Not OP but my sister was in that situation. There was no help for her anywhere. Respite care said he was too difficult to have him there, even an hour. She asked for services from the state and they said the only way she could receive them is if she gave up custody. She couldn't look after him after a while and giving up custody was just too much for her- she ended up committing suicide.
OMG! That's horrible 😭😭😭😭
I'm so sorry for your loss. That's so heartbreaking. I get lost in my own situations and reading this just breaks my heart. Sending my love and condolences.
Sorry for your loss. Thats really tough.
An incredible tragedy, and betrayal by our government. I am so sorry, my heart truly aches for you right now. I hope you’re able to cope and find some comfort in memories 💛
That is heartbreaking. After her death, who took over his custody?
I’m so sorry for your loss
This just completely SHATTERED my heart to pieces..."developed world" my ass. My family has chronically suffered in a similar way. You have the blood and tissue of my heart in your hands. God bless you. Whatever bless you. Anything fucking bless you, please 🙏.
They are really expensive. Really expensive. And a lot of them truthfully can be cruel to the people they care for. But not always so it is worth taking a look if one can afford it
Yeah I guess you'd have to just find a good one with caring staff. Didn't know there were still bad ones, thought they were all at least pretty decent by now.
The caregiving field has poor benefits, severe burn out rates, and a toxic environment where management doesnt care. The people working may have good intentions but its exhausting and each of them are being mistreated in some manner
When I was an elder care facility administrator there were also a LOT of injuries. In California where I was licensed the workman's comp premiums for nurse aides was 33% of the payroll. For every dollar we paid in wages 33 cents went to workman's comp insurance. Part of why care is so expensive. Now if we had universal healthcare that would be cut in half overnight. Injured employees would still need temporary disability while they heal, but the medical payments would be zeroed out.
Unfortunately not, it's the same with nursing homes. Horrendous treatment. A lot of patients there have dementia and aren't able to articulate the abuse going on.
I used to caregive for a developmentally disabled adult and her mom was in a nursing home, so I took her there to visit often. It was horrendous, absolutely horrendous. Once the nurses overdosed her mom on opioids by accident and I was running around the place trying to find a nurse or someone (I did not have narcan on me and didnt know where they kept their stuff), but they were so lethargic about coming to help, then when they did as her mom was unresponsive, white as a sheet, sweating, they said she should sleep it off. It was like an actual alternate reality horror movie. I also always strongly suspected they were chemically restraining all the patients because I never saw anyone out of their rooms and if I did they were in a chair facing a wall or something like zombies with blank stares and no response.
It's so bad. I'm really sorry you had to see and experience that. There's no justice, everything gets covered up. It's just the powerlessness of it all. I think some are chemically restrained, but I think others are severely depressed. I remember we had to call some of our patients out for activity time and there was one lady, she was sitting alone in a pitch dark room. I turn on one of the lamps and asked her if she wanted to go out to activity. She looked so sad and defeated. I sat and talk with her for a little while and she was telling me about how much she missed being able to do things, to go to work and just be a normal person. Things like this just broke my heart. This all goes back to how insanely messed up our society is. They want broken families, generational trauma. It's all about $$. Keep families estranged and broken. Have broken children go out and make more broken families. Then toss your family members into these homes because everyone is traumatized and angry at each other and no one is healed. It's a foreign concept in the states to have grandmothers, and aunts and cousins and full families living near or with each other. It's just so weird. It's like we want to get as far away as we can from our families when we hit adulthood. Then we turn around and wonder why the world is so lonely and broken. Sometimes, enough has to be enough and we have to break these curses and go against societal norms. "Oh you're a loser if you live at home with your parents in your 30s" "Oh, you haven't moved 5 states away from your primary family, started a new family that you know you can't emotionally or financially support, and struggle every day? What's wrong with you?!!?"
Very sorry for you That must be difficult to say the least
Jail
A week in jail was enough to make me turn my shit around so I didn't land in prison.
Just laying on those metal beds for a few hours is enough 😭
I honestly never knew there was a difference 😳 Always thought it was just a different name for the same thing. TIL!
Beat me to it.
[удалено]
I did some time in my 20’s and when I got out my mom that I really hadn’t talked to for a long time said to come stay with her instead of going into the government program that would set me up with my own (supervised) apartment. She had locks put in that required a key to leave the house, and if I went out a window an alarm would go off. She actually held me prisoner. I was like damn this is so much worse. I ended up talking to my PO and she helped me get a different living situation. I don’t talk to anyone in my family any more. I live a normal middle class life now.
My husband has did time in both too. He always says he'd rather be in prison than any jail to serve time. He's got me hooked on what I call a prison meal. Lol it's ramen noodles, tuna, mayo, and so on. This first time I tried it I didn't know what to think. 🤢 But for some reason I love it now. Even our toddler loves it.🤣 I love my dad but I'm almost no contact. He's sometimes so hateful towards me I leave in tears. Idk when he started hating me but he did. He seems annoyed by my existence. But my sister can do no wrong. If I ask to borrow money I get talked to terrible but all she's got to do is ask and it's a yeah. It's painful having a parent that sucks all the joy out from beneath you.
My dad says that jail can be hellish
Debt
Really bad debt is horrible. It really paralyzes you if you already live paycheck to paycheck. All my anxiety is from my debt. Recently I finally payed off my credit card that got up to 14k. Now I can focus on paying my college loans 🙄
A bad relationship
in a marriage, with kids.
Depression.
I wonder if being depressed in prison and being depressed in the world would feel any different.
I have MDD and I would say that if I were allowed to lay around and do very little and get to sleep a lot, I would prefer to be in prison over living real life, IF in a depressive state. If there’s one word I could use to describe depression, it would be “fatigue”. Sleeping my life away and not having to take care of myself or anybody else is all I want to do when I’m depressed and it creates so much anxiety to have to get up every day and perform a job for 8 hours. BUT I’ve never been to prison so that’s just my gut feeling.
Being physically dependent on a substance and getting violently ill and unable to function without it
Omg I was there . Been thirty yrs now but yeah never again.
I was an alcoholic for 20 years. 90 days sober today - it took jail and possible prison time, AA, intensive outpatient treatment, a therapist, and a psychiatrist to get this far. Hardest thing I ever did in my life was quit drinking and I completed a bachelor's and 2 masters degrees - shitfaced.
Being trapped in your own mind and thoughts because you don't know who you are or what you want to do with your life.
Or am I just 29?
Chronic illness
Working until you die
Anything that isolates you completely. Whether it’s work, mental health or any other reason
Relationships can also make you feel completely alone, depending on the circumstances.
Poverty
Being broke
Being a quadriplegic and dependent on a ventilator to breathe and a peg tube for food. You can't move your legs and your arms. You can't feed yourself and you can't control your bowels.
I was gonna say this. My heart absolute breaks for anyone with a c1-c3 injury. It must be the worst possible hell. You’re just a head with a body you can’t use. Not even being able to breath without a vent must be horrible. They can’t even cough on their own and need a machine to get the mucus out. So many things we take for granted. I can’t imagine.
Being in a relationship without the love
Employment.
Cptsd
Needing to pee while driving but there is NOWHERE TO STOP FOR MILES AGH!
Major Depressive disorder and CPTSD. Used to be my prison for years
Adult life.
A really shitty marriage involving children
Being at work more than at home.
Being a child/minor with emotionally and physically abusive parents. You have no authority over yourself in terms of the law, and you’re stuck to suffer until you become a legal adult and gain some authority simply because you’re now at least 18
Being so disabled that you can’t enjoy life. Being deaf and inability to walk for long periods of time is so depressing. Not to mention being in pain due to having brain damage. This shit hard to live . Having to live in a body that doesn’t work right is worse than prison in my opinion.
I was destroyed financially in a divorce. Ill save the sob story. Ex used every legal trick avail to get custody and a high child support payment. Lied bout her own income etc... ive been looking at the day my daughter turns 18 as the end of my prison sentence. Its not actual prison but financial. Cant afford abything but rent and food. No insurance. No fun stuff.. any extra i get that doesnt go to bills i spend on gifts for my kids. I got 1 year 10 months left. My son already turned 18 thankfully so the burden is less... but i cant wait to be able to afford health insurance or a car payment... Son got his associates degree recently too a d daughters on track to graduate highschool with her associates too...
Public school.
Being an inpatient in a psych ward. You're basically confined to the hospital unit unless you're given clearance from your psychiatrist to leave. Sometimes you can go off unit, but most of the time you can't leave the hospital grounds without being accompanied by a relative or friend. If you go really nuts, they place you in "high observation" which is basically like solitary confinement. If you go nuts in there or become violent they can lock the door to your room remotely.
Denial.
Shame
A life where you just did not get dealt the right cards, you made god-awful bad decisions (but also god awful bad decisions were made by others affecting you too) but you otherwise fucked around and pissed away your life just trying to chase dopamine and so every possible opportunity just flew right on by bc you were too busy squeezing the dopamine out of it just to get by and now even if you are trying to be serious and get it back on track youre paying the consequences in dividends of that dopamine chasing and youre just so goddamned far behind that there is just no viable realistic way you can ever make it respectably back to in the running of a doing the bare-minimum contributing member of society and so sure you may not be in a literal steel bars prison, but you sure as hell are in a prison of steel bars in your mind. You cant enjoy anything bc youve gotten so used to doing things wrong all you know is how to do things wrong. And usually (i say usually i wont say always) people distance themself or stay away from you bc youre bad news or a bad pony to bet on etc. etc. and hobbies or anything that brings you joy and fulfillment costs money you dont have meanwhile whatever you do have is falling apart and you have to spend time and money on that trying to repair a ship taking on water with tools you just dont have or parts youre never gonna get. Metaphorically and literally. That to me is the closest thing to prison.
A toxic job.
Addiction
Life!!!
Being in a relationship of abuse
Homeless shelters. Went to one after getting out of jail and it felt like I was back in jail. In fact, many have more rules than jail or prison do. For example, you can stay up as late as you want in prison. At a shelter you have to go to bed when they tell you like a child.
Alcoholism/addiction.
Being in a relationship with someone that either emotionally abuses you or physically
Job with no room for advancement and no other employment options.
A really unhappy marriage with kids. It's the kids whose lives you don't want to destroy just so you can be happy.
D e p r e s s I o n
Depression
Palestine but its worse than prison … its real life gta out there
Being stuck in a super shitty nursing home. I can only do so much for my patients but the administrators and corporate don't care about them. Next hell hole idea would be for my patients that are paralyzed or cannot move or think for themselves anymore and are fully conscious
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Chronic Illness and disease
Working your whole life because capitalism
Your mind
Hmmm, either abject poverty or the inability to change your own mind. I say this because for people stuck in abject poverty they have no real autonomy, no opportunity, and no control over what happens to them. Sadly, the same can be said about people who don’t have the ability to change their own mind. Whether actually living in a 3rd world country, or living in a first world country with a 3rd world mindset, you are still trapped by forces beyond your own immediate control. Such examples include racists, gang members, hardcore conspiracy theorists, and hardcore evangelicals. I say this because if you are unable to change your own mind even when confronted with evidence, or the knowledge that your perspective makes you a shitty person, you possess no real power of your own. You are fated by you beliefs. This is probably worse than prison.
A rapid dramatic drop in quality of life or if expectations that were once consistently met become quickly and severely unmet.
Ptsd
Heavy debt and child support while holding a low-paying unstable job in a toxic work environment. Depression
My mind. Honestly. My expectations, hopes, and dreams. Too much attachment to it and obsessing over your goals will trap you forever. It's a work in progress and will take time :) Sorry maybe too deep, lol
The closest thing I have experienced was an LDS mission: two years of following two books of rules, with higher-ups monitoring compliance. You cannot leave your companion for any reason so if you and them are very incompatible and emotionally wrecking each other or they just want to do nothing there's nothing you can do but stick it out for 2-3 months. If you have a phone, it's restricted to minimal apps and audited weekly. I thought about the Thomas Rhett song blame it on the backroad every day after the first time I heard it out there, and my brain planned so many ways to get out of there, in one way or another. Somehow I did the time but if I had the choice to do it again with the knowledge I know now, ain't no way, I value my personal freedom and mental health too much.
Living with an abuser.
Being unemployed. I sat around bored as hell and terrified for my survival. Waiting to get the job from the places you applied to is so stressful. Trying to go about your daily life with the major limitation that is a dwindling back account.
Military enlistment with bad leadership. Since I couldn't bring myself to kiss the asses of non-deployable junior NCOs who were at my same paygrade, I was targeted continuously for njp/article 15. I eventually had to get a lawyer and visit the inspector general. I had to push erroneous article 15s to courts marshall more than once in order to avoid having my pay and rank stolen. (The penalty for the article 15 was 45 days without pay and 45 days extra duty.) It was basically slavery. After almost a year of this abuse, the Inspector general launched an investigation of that unit. Several NCOs were demoted as a result. One of them broke into my barracks room and stole my PlayStation and some TA50. He was chaptered out. His buddy tried to swing on me while I was at parade rest. I had him arrested. That unit almost ruined me. I've never been closer to committing murder in my life. When I ETSed, they tried to strip me of awards and commendations I had earned at previous units. I went back to the inspector general. They had committed several crimes by attempting to alter my records. I finished my contract honorably. I cannot recommend military enlistment to anyone. Prison would be preferable.
Being stuck in a loveless marriage. I have someone close to me currently living through it and it Is so sad. They are on their last good years too, so it’s like you are watching someone who has given up and is just waiting to check out because death would be a better option than the current situation.
Working 40+ hours a week is prison to me.
Agoraphobia. Might as well be the same. 3 hots and a cot.
My second husband and the home he kept me confined to with a state-of-the-art interior CCTV package that I was never supposed to find out about. But did. You can use your imagination as to what my ex did with the footage. You don’t want to know. ❤️🩹
Are you ok?
Yes, I fled our home the third and final time on September 17, 2022. It was hard getting back on my feet, but the gratitude for being alive is the best gift ever. Thank you for asking. Now when I look back at my 8-year relationship, I see the warning signs and red flags with perfect clarity through hindsight. Definitely a lesson for sure.
I’ve had a similar history with abusive relationships acquiring footage of me. I was very blank at the time it took a couple of years to get mad about it I hope you’re getting therapy for this thing you dealt with
Well the Navy is basically prison with the option of drowning
Stuck in a job you hate.
There's a mini Mart about 3/4 mile down the road.
Adulthood
Coercive control.
My job is a paid prison sentence...
Life
Marriage to the wrong person
being abused by family when you have no other place to go or any other choice (especially when you’re trying to help them) so you’re basically trapped at home to placate them and please them because you need somewhere to live but….🙃
Elder care.
Body dysmorphia.
Employment.
Debt and illness/disability/mental illness. Limits your choices, abilities, options, can be isolating and you cannot escape. Since Covid, this is much worse than prior since those at high risk may be stuck at home alone still and have been for years. Being highly at risk for Covid morbidity in a world that is make believe post covid, but just in reality filled with Covid but post Covid restrictions is extremely isolating. It makes dating, working, getting rx, getting food, getting healthcare/treatment all way too dangerous - especially if people don’t understand and or won’t mask.
Living with mental health illness; psychosis in particular.
When the kids aren’t with me, it feels like a prison sentence. I have zero motivation to do anything, but work and think about the old days being home.
Anxiety
A shit marriage, you really are trapped until it's over.
Life.
A career/ job I hate or have no passion doing..
Psych ward
A coma where one is cognitively aware.
Psych hospital
Overthinking and anxiety
Working 40 hours a week.
Being in a job you absolutely hate
A few people said Debt… which is true but a close second is being at a Psychward or mental institution… it’s horrible to not have the freedom to be outside, eating subpar meals, etc
Old age
Memory care facility
A 9-5
Cubicle job
Fulltime employment
The gate outside the prison?
Wearing an ankle monitor and having to call in/check in.
Being disabled
Being forced psychiatric medication against your will even if you are not a danger to yourself or others.
Working for the irs.
Maybe a fence around it
A bad marriage
Watching my brother trying to cope with becoming quadriplegic and realizing he was now a prisoner of his body.
Depression and anxiety…
Being mentally ill
Being married to a jealous, controlling person.
A job you hate going to every day
Basic training
My job
A job.
A desk job in an office.
Heartbreak
Living alone in an apartment
An office job
Anhedonia
Debt, depression, stressful/unfulfilling job - experiencing all of the above right now.
Poverty - it limits your ability with EVERYTHING in life.
Mental illness is worse than prison because you can move locations freely but you can never get out of the terrible place.
Anhedonia. It’s a symptom of depression and a few other mental illnesses. It’s the loss of all joy and pleasure. Any hobbies or activities that brought you joy in the past no longer brings you any enjoyment. Every day is just endless hours of boredom and every little thing feels like a huge effort.
Your mind or body can be your own personal prison.
Having children
Uncontrolled negative thoughts
A 9 to 5
American dream
getting pregnant
Work. You sit there a majority of your waking hours, can’t workout, can’t prepare food, can’t do anything for your children/partner/pets, and get chewed out when you need to leave early or take a day off to take care of yourself or a family member.
Hmmmm Let's see.... 16 years of school that basically prepares us all for a great job in the Labor force unless your parents have money.... then spending the best years of your life (18-45) busting your ass to pay taxes.... and then finally wasting your golden days on a couch because you hurt everywhere and still have to pay your taxes, and then decide whether you want to buy groceries or your blood pressure medication this month.... yeah.... prison sounds better,,,,,
A navy deployment on an aircraft carrier loo
Most nursing homes
Taxes
ALS
Work.
A bad marriage
Hospital
I feel like I'm in prison sometimes with my living situation: my "wife" basically voluntold me that we're in an open marriage, and that she considers us separated, cohabitating co-parents. I can't divorce though because she doesn't work enough to support herself and the kids, and didn't work at all for the early 8 years of our marriage after we had our first kid, so I'd have to pay her a significant amount of my salary if we divorced and thus I'd have to give up my house, and also she said if we divorce she'll contest if I want split custody, and a contested divorce in America costs many many thousands of dollars (I'd be looking at 25 to 50 thousand in costs basically). So I'm stuck, unless I want to give up my kids, house, tons of money, and then live like I'm poor. I do 90% of the cooking, cleaning and Housekeeping also... while she goes out and basically spends my money to hook up with other guys. Life is a cruel joke.
Being a Republican
The 9-5
working at a walmart
Late stage capitalism.
A one sided relationship.
A relationship with a narcissist
Series of Narcissistic relationships and being the scapegoat🐐
Modern hospitals