A manipulator will eat up at your logic by constantly making you prove your worth in a relationship.
I could absolutely be reading too much into it, but it reminds me of a similar situation with an ex who was addicted to starting meaningless arguments because she liked how “close” we were when we “resolved” them — even though they were all made up and made me feel like I was losing my mind (example: “Why does your sister’s name have a heart next to it on your phone, but mine doesn’t? You don’t love me.” — which reminded me so much of his whole “Why aren’t you wearing my bracelet? You must not love me” shit). Constantly bringing up the possibility of leaving you, keeping you in a cycle of constantly trying to prove yourself. It took getting away for a while to realize that life could in fact be peaceful and that I actually didn’t know why I was fighting so hard for the relationship — whatever I found attractive about her just wasn’t there anymore, I just didn’t realize it sooner because I was under a constant fog. Whatever we bonded over to create the relationship simply wasn’t enough to sustain it.
My ex was exactly like that too. It's a type of gaslighting, and accompanied by a big dose of insecurity and possibly even narcissism. She also used to break up with me about once every two weeks, for a day or so, then make up. It cements that gaslighting, making you feel both insecure, while at the same time the relief you feel at "getting back together", thereby forcing you to always seek them and satisfy whatever they say you should do. Complete emotional abuse. Thankfully it ended once she started a bit of physical abuse of me also.
I'm married now, but sometimes I still seem to suffer some sort of "emotional PTSD", especially if my wife gets in a heated argument with me. I can kind of snap and struggle to contain my emotions or anger when that happens. Thankfully it's only happened once or twice in 5 years, and I'm continuing to to heal.
I'll add, Sergio also has something more intense that's really creepy, he's kind of a bit unhinged I think, he's like the psycho villain in some Korean drama. I honestly don't think I'd trust him one bit.
He’s a liar, a gaslighter, a manipulator, very childish, and can’t have any mature conversation without making Amanda feel like she’s in the wrong. I don’t like him at all.
I've only gotten to the reveals but I agree, they edited him into the villain but he's actually a repugnant person IMO.
ETA: I was team Zack when no one else was lol but Sergio is a red-flag and will be staying a red flag...he's misogynistic, vain, and incredibly insecure, lots of emotional baggage & not someone who should even be on the show.
Not sure how he’s won some people over. He’s a walking red flag with ever fuckboy tendency I know especially as they age out of their younger years. Tells her exactly what’s she wants to hear. Pretends like he has the answer to everything even with the other men to deflect from talking about his relationship. Even the guys see it. He is putting forth an image his actual lifestyle doesn’t measure up to. I could go on and on. Straight up lying about religion, not introducing any of his friends and family.
Yeah I like him to be honest. Obviously he's not perfect. But I like that he's eccentric and his arrogant demeanor seems to mask some insecurities and a sweet side - it's so cute to me how Amanda seems to soften him.
Did I just watch the man completely gaslight Amanda in the booths and then tell her that he’s decided she’s the girlfriend?
Completely dismissed his lie and covered it up with some sugar.
I’m SHOOKETHED.
He's been icky from the very beginning. The worst for me is when he wanted to break up with her because she was bullied which to him, implied she might not be attractive. What an asshat
It’s his huge ego that bothers me….he thinks he’s maradonna or something….but the lies, gaslighting the sweep over receding hair and the petulance makes me want to slap him! Amanda is slumming it with him….shes way out of his league (but she can lose that chunky cream cardigan now……)!
It’s hard to tell but I think the scoliosis is still a little visible for her back despite the corrective work & she’s hiding those imperfections with clothing…that being said I’ve only watched up until the pods so maybe we’ll be able to see her back more on the honeymoon 👀
Yeah she wants to be treated poorly. Otherwise she wouldn’t have been sleeping so often with C, all whilst not being into him at all. She bolted up when he started defending himself, you could tell she was getting into it. Maybe she even expected him to yell at her? The whole thing - so toxic. And Sergio don’t even get me started 🤣
He’s so insecure. I find it really sad, he’s so painfully insecure and shuts down completely when he perceives any sort of criticism or insecurity from Amanda (and probably any other woman). I can’t help but wonder what experiences in his life made him put up this defence mechanism.
Its so painfully obvious he puts on the arrogant and loud character to cover up his insecurities. does he not think anyone with eyes can see through that? We all have insecurities dude just relax
The guy is just a premium insecure dude hyping up himself. He seriously behaves like a pro-footballer, with his over beeswaxed hair.
He's starting to humble himself episode by episode though. The girl he ended up with his leagues ahead of him and he's starting to see it.
Honestly I think he always knew Amanda was out of his league. Not just physically, but also in terms of class. Sergio’s parents must be first generation immigrants from Columbia. I know what it’s like to grow up in a Scandinavian country when you’re short and dark as opposed to tall and blond, it messes with your confidence for sure. Did you notice how uncomfortable he was when visiting Amanda’s parents? She comes from the perfect Swedish family, in their beautiful big house. My guess is that Sergio, like Meira, did not grow up like that, and felt like those who did were so different from them. Meira is better at expressing cultural and socioeconomic differences than Sergio, but I strongly believe he feels the same way.
I might be projecting though.
I think it's partially also the vanity of these cultures too (I'm also 1st Gen). You could see it when are asks her mom if he's handsome as if it's a deal breaker.
He is very manipulative. Look how he lied to Amanda: "Krissy-ly called me a misogynist." She didn't say that in their on camera conversation. She said, I will always have Amanda’s back. When the two women came to talk to him, he said, "You are saying I have a wife and a child in Barcelona." Nobody said that. It's a tactic. Just exaggerate everything and make it absurd.
He was looking for an empathetic, forgiving woman like Amanda in the pods and he found her. Everyone else, with more experience, thought poorly of him. He found his victim, and we have been witnessing how manipulators can create a fake reality and talk their way out of any situation. See how he always tries to look confused when confronted and just waits for others to say something that will give him an out. I am worried for Amanda. She seems smitten. She is almost a pursuer in their relationship despite all the horrible things he does. He even said it himself that he would have left this relationship a long time ago if he was her. If she stays with him, I think he will hurt her and will take advantage of her goodness and steal her light.
Just because he had a few cute moments of looking in love on camera, doesn’t change who he really is. He had to throw her a bone with all that has been going on.
Oof! When he said the rumour was that he had a wife and child in Barcelona, and one of the women corrected him and said that the rumour was a woman said she was four months pregnant with his baby.
And Sergio was like “I heard it was three.” I was like SEE?! Is no one noticing this? He just told on himself!
He *knew* what the rumour actually was (a woman was pregnant with his baby) but he was purposefully exaggerating it (saying the rumour was he had a wife and kid) to make it seem more absurd as you said.
I agree. At first I wanted to assume it was a translation issue, but he was amazingly evasive, and he twisted and exaggerated to try to silence people who were asking him reasonable questions. He didn’t say “I hooked up in Barcelona, but no one had reached out to me.”
Or “I don’t know anyone there.” He just kept ignoring them as they asked him to see, from their perspective, it was concerning.
And the way he handled the apartment, acting as if she wasn’t having a totally normal, predictable response. She was gracious. He was absurdly manipulative and self-absorbed to think they could both live there.
My only hope is that Amanda is keeping her eyes open and is making choices. For some reason I don’t think she’s entirely fooled, but she is letting this play out without demeaning herself, I hope.
I feel like the reason why people don’t understand the Sergio hate is because they can’t see manipulation tactics themselves. They don’t know what gaslighting looks like, what manipulation looks like, what a liar will do to cover tracks and avoid the truth. Honestly you could take at least the first 3-4 episodes of this show and teach a class on how to spot a manipulator.
It’s sad most people can’t see it, especially Amanda. But when you’re wearing rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags
100% this! He manipulates her and gaslights her constantly. I feel very sad for Amanda. She's a beautiful woman with a pure almost naive heart and he takes advantage of her.
I think he’s an insecure baby man but he seems to be a good pair with Amanda cuz she’s got the patience of a mother. And that he can’t be as bad as the editing made it seem if she stayed with him 🤷♀️
Dude was about to break with Amanda because he though she could be ugly (after she said she was bullied in high school). Sincerely this guy looks insane to me.
Though the whole bracelet/ring thing he could be justified. Imagine if the roles were reversed? If he said I didn't get you a ring because I believe the ring is at marriage. Supposedly in Sweden all the men get an engagement ring so he is the only guy in the group without one. I don't judge him for feeling insecure in that moment.
More like he did that to give himself a way out. To kinda "soften the blow" of how incredibly horrible his thoughts were at the time. He manipulated the situation to make it seem like what he's doing isn't all that bad. It seemed to have worked. Look at you saying now that at least he was honest 😅
What did he try to manipulate? He shared his feelings knowing how bad it would make him look. He didn't try to defend it either. Yeah, call me a sucker but I'd rather a person be honest than pull a Lucas and say "oh I'll still love you even if you look like a troll" when that turned out to be bs.
From what I remember he prefaced the whole convo with acknowledging being superficial and as it goes on he says he is ashamed of his thoughts and knows how bad it sounds. Obviously the guy has some issues as we all do but he at least seems to be self aware in this instance.
He had shown us that he’s quite a Machiavellian. When being confronted, just look at his eyes, he’s thinking hard how to get away with it using different manipulation ways although there’s no need to. He had lied and gaslighted on screen just to make himself look better (so who knows how many lies he had gotten away with without proofs on footage). He can’t just simply be honest. He’s the opposite of being truthful and responsible, which makes him a terrible partner. We understand that everyone has traumas and that’s what makes us who we are today; but we can’t fix them. So why does Amanda want to be with him is beyond my understanding. Maybe she had not been hurt before by someone like him.
I still see him in a very negative light. I think he's an adept liar. When Amanda questioned him in the pods about lying to her, he smoothly let her continue to talk. She gave him an out, saying "Maybe it was just a miscommunication, blah blah blah" and he took that. It's what she wanted to hear, so saying "Oh yeah, I must have said that though I don't remember. It's a miscommunication" worked out well in his favor. I side-eyed him there. Very clever, but he didn't have to work for it. Amanda gave him the out. Then, with the Barcelona baby nonsense, can he not just say no? "There's no way I have a baby in Barcelona Amanda, please ignore these crazy rumors." He goes out of his way to say "I have no idea about a baby, it's news to me! Who is telling you this? Rumors!" Like, sir. Soooo messy! For him to have this much drama surrounding him, it's suspicious. Even if he doesn't have a surprise Barcelona baby (I'm guessing he doesn't, no one has stepped forward as of yet), I consider it a red flag that he has enough ops to try and sabotage him. Like, Amanda. Do you really want all this drama? Is it worth it? The dramatics with "I almost didn't come." What?!?!? He's a very strange man. But, hey. If she likes it, I love it 🙃
This is my mentality completely. I am STILL waiting for an explanation, excuse, denial, literally anything at all. “I’ve never been to Barcelona” or “I did sleep with someone and we wore protection” or “This is in no way true at all” like bro say SOMETHING
Yes even though his victim portrayal in the recent episodes have made me feel more neutral about him, it can easily turn negative based on the next episodes. I think the best case ending scenario would be if they didn't get married right away and Sergio tried to work on himself.
I will definitely agree they did him a little dirty with how much they have been hitting that "Someone has a child on the way in Barcelona!" (and it was obviously going to be him) in the trailers. Because now we see that straight up nothing came out of it and it was probably just a bullshit rumour.
That I think is a little unfair to him (if it is actually not true at all).
Agreed, and they also made a poor decision to have absolutely no follow up?! Like nothing was ever clarified. Did he hook up with anyone in Barcelona, who had this information, why now?
Lol yeah the dubbings always seem bad to me. Especially when I was watching LIB japan. But I can't devote so much attention to LIB that I'd be reading subtitles for it.
I mean.. he didn’t make it that hard for production to give him the villain edit.
The lying in the pods. The way he responded about Amanda opening up about her childhood bullying, some of his comments on the honeymoon, how confrontational he was to her about discussing his faith with her family despite knowing how important it is to her.. he’s not not a red flag.
It is reality tv so we will never truly know.. I feel like he’s lashing out at Amanda because he’s insecure and unconfident in himself. Amanda presents as a stunning, well-spoken, emotionally intelligent, self-aware woman. Unless you also know yourself and love yourself on that same level, it’s going to be a nightmare for any couple that has an uneven dynamic to have a healthy, loving, supportive relationship without jealousy and insecurity ruining it.
>how confrontational he was to her about discussing his faith with her family despite knowing how important it is to her
I'm confident he lied about being religious. He just told Amanda "sure, I'm a Catholic" because he didn't actually expect her to practice, and then when he realized he was about to meet her dad who is a pastor and feared that this man was going to ask legitimate questions such as "where do you go to church?", he shat his pants and made up that "religion is very personal to me" bullshit.
He definitely doesn't have a filter which makes good material for the producers. And I agree that he does appear to be a massive red flag unless we are hugely missing some context. But he also made me feel like there's a lot of diversity in character out there. Red flags are rather common in real life and reality TV must include such people as well. But there are parts of him shown that make it seem like he steuggles with his own character as well. Who knows, Amanda might be the glove that fits and allows him to work through his issues for the better. But, like you said, such relationships are tiring and I hope Amanda doesn't get drained by project Sergio.
I don’t think we’re seeing a bad edit, this is really basic behavior context clues that many of us have witnessed in the wild with dates over the years. It’s pretty easy to spot for me nowadays but I was not the best at it once-upon-a-time.
The ladies in the pod talked about him the way they did because of his behavior on their dates, because he was being evasive about saying his name and not trying to get to know them at that first encounter. They sensed he was playing games because he was, and who knows what he was thinking. Maybe he thought he was conjuring up some mysterious attraction factor so they’d want another date with him because he thinks that’s what women want. He lies or gets defensive and then spins things around to make the other question themselves, a manipulative tactic. He straight up lied to her face about the dating other girls thing, and she wasn’t even expecting him to only date her - she just didn’t expect him to lie to her then lie again when she gave him the chance to be honest. When he had the whole little bracelet and wedding ring conversation with her, including the whole “I wasn’t even going to come here.”, “I only give 3 chances to get it right”, that was not coming from a place of sincerity from where I was sitting. As he was saying those things to her his demeanor was combative, and he saw her react with empathy so he had her right where he wanted. Ffw to the whole apartment thing where she was teasing him and it bruised his ego - he stonewalled her for it as she sat in the kitchen. The fragility is palpable, and I don’t mean just legitimately having one’s feelings hurt because they are proud of their home but are teased about it - she was clearly not meaning to be hateful and he knew that, he *knows* her.
It seems his feelings get hurt at every turn but I don’t think his feelings are truly hurt at all, he’s trying to control the dynamic so that he has the upper hand, emotionally, and she will adjust her behavior to his temperament in that moment.
Unfortunately I’ve dated a couple of guys who are exactly like him, and I’m not seeing him through a biased lens, it’s like there’s an official playbook out there or something these people have.
I’m glad you brought up the whole bracelet/ring/three chances thing. That (and the unnecessary lies about her being the only one he was talking to) were the key red flags for me.
Even if there is nothing intentionally malicious to it, at best it’s going to be emotionally exhausting for Amanda. And, sure, her personality might be well suited for it. But I don’t find it fair for one partner to always be understanding and the other just allowed to act immaturely with no reflection or effort to change their behaviour.
It’s exhausting and manipulative to make someone think you’re halfway out the door all the time. It’s insanely anxiety inducing to be with someone you have to walk on eggshells around. He knows exactly what he’s doing
I agree that Sergio-Amanda have the makings of a toxic relationship that we see so often in real life. His insecurities are very reminiscent of many narcissists I've met, although he doesn't come off as a narcissist himself. And Amanda is truly the high-level empath that gets taken advantage of in such relationships. I have been the Krissy-ly to many of my Amanda-like friends. But through the last few episodes I've somehow started to understand Segio a bit. For me its a new feeling, and I am thankful to the show's editing and casting for that.
The way he react to his insecurities is a real problem and how he treated Amanda this is not because of editing.
Now clearly Sergio suffers from "ugly unprivilege" and the way the women, exception made of Krissy-Ly who can actually use her brain, are ready to make his relationship explode without any proof of whatsoever just because they don't like him is revealing on how we treat our pairs based on their apparence.
For Sergio defense, he seems at least aware of his behavioural problems, is ashamed of his reactions, and seems willing to work on them
Yes sergio is a complex character. His comments when he felt ashamed that he found Amanda less attractive after finding out she was bullied was really nuanced. He was in touch with his feelings but didn't know what to do about them. And I agree that He is extremely insecure. He acts like a cool guy in the pods which just ends up coming off weird to the women. He was pissed about the wrist band. He was pissed at not getting a ring. He boasted about his apartment. He didn't wanna talk after Amanda laughed about his apartment. But I think Amanda is rather good at reassuring him despite his insecurities. I'm not sure how she benefits in this relationship though.
I dot think he felt ashamed of his reaction when he found out Amanda had been bullied. If he had any self awareness he would have not said that to a camera. What he did was adapt to his environment, just like this type of personality does and then changed his mind when the production team had a chat with him and reassured him amanda didnt look like the hunchback of notredame. He noticed the other men were not happy so he zipped it. If he had been in a locker room with a different type of man he would have been nastier.
It's as if these people don't know who they are or what they think unless they are manipulating something external to them. He creates conflict so he is always in control of amanda who has to be nice, explain herself, walk on eggshells. He pretends he is contrite and "working on himself" but he isn't, he is telling people whatever he needs to say at one give time. He's exhausting.
Exactly. This LIB season is the first that made me think from such perspectives. In real life often toxic personalities seem irredeemable to me. I struggle to empathize with people like Sergio usually but I'm glad I'm opening myself more thanks to this show.
Thought of him as dodgy because he played games during his initial dates (ie refusing to say his name 🙄), he lied to Amanda about ending his relationships with the other cast members then gaslighted her when she confronted him, he questioned his feelings for Amanda after she revealed that she was bullied in school, he couldn’t give her a straight answer about his religion out of the pods. The man brought it on himself.
ETA I honestly wouldn’t judge him about the potential pregnancy in Barcelona as long as he wasn’t keeping it secret.
I did find him dodgy as well. But I definitely think I was biased against him because his behavior didn't look as sophisticated as the usual contestants. After the latest episodes I do feel like no one ever gave him a chance. All the female cast talking about him in a chat, getting laughed at for his living situation, all that is trying to turn him into a victim in my head now. Props to the editing for giving him an arc like this. We'll never get to know the real him through netflix anyway.
A grown man goes on a show looking foe a life partner, talks all that thrash, but lives that way? I'm sorry, I have ho sympathy. Last season one guy got railed because of paper plates, granted his bad-credit-wide-eyed self was also looking for a come up. But Sergio should get a pass for his living situation? I understand this is reality TV, but logic...
This didn’t age well, turns out walking red flag was indeed making babies.
I really like Sergio- think he’s a great guy!
Are the rumors true about him having a baby??
Right 😂 I think he did it himself
True In Sweden. Git served two month after the wedding with child support and paternity test request…
Why does Amanda even like him??
A manipulator will eat up at your logic by constantly making you prove your worth in a relationship. I could absolutely be reading too much into it, but it reminds me of a similar situation with an ex who was addicted to starting meaningless arguments because she liked how “close” we were when we “resolved” them — even though they were all made up and made me feel like I was losing my mind (example: “Why does your sister’s name have a heart next to it on your phone, but mine doesn’t? You don’t love me.” — which reminded me so much of his whole “Why aren’t you wearing my bracelet? You must not love me” shit). Constantly bringing up the possibility of leaving you, keeping you in a cycle of constantly trying to prove yourself. It took getting away for a while to realize that life could in fact be peaceful and that I actually didn’t know why I was fighting so hard for the relationship — whatever I found attractive about her just wasn’t there anymore, I just didn’t realize it sooner because I was under a constant fog. Whatever we bonded over to create the relationship simply wasn’t enough to sustain it.
My ex was exactly like that too. It's a type of gaslighting, and accompanied by a big dose of insecurity and possibly even narcissism. She also used to break up with me about once every two weeks, for a day or so, then make up. It cements that gaslighting, making you feel both insecure, while at the same time the relief you feel at "getting back together", thereby forcing you to always seek them and satisfy whatever they say you should do. Complete emotional abuse. Thankfully it ended once she started a bit of physical abuse of me also. I'm married now, but sometimes I still seem to suffer some sort of "emotional PTSD", especially if my wife gets in a heated argument with me. I can kind of snap and struggle to contain my emotions or anger when that happens. Thankfully it's only happened once or twice in 5 years, and I'm continuing to to heal. I'll add, Sergio also has something more intense that's really creepy, he's kind of a bit unhinged I think, he's like the psycho villain in some Korean drama. I honestly don't think I'd trust him one bit.
My girlfriend came to exactly the same conclusion. I agree with the idea though.
He’s a liar, a gaslighter, a manipulator, very childish, and can’t have any mature conversation without making Amanda feel like she’s in the wrong. I don’t like him at all.
I've only gotten to the reveals but I agree, they edited him into the villain but he's actually a repugnant person IMO. ETA: I was team Zack when no one else was lol but Sergio is a red-flag and will be staying a red flag...he's misogynistic, vain, and incredibly insecure, lots of emotional baggage & not someone who should even be on the show.
Not sure how he’s won some people over. He’s a walking red flag with ever fuckboy tendency I know especially as they age out of their younger years. Tells her exactly what’s she wants to hear. Pretends like he has the answer to everything even with the other men to deflect from talking about his relationship. Even the guys see it. He is putting forth an image his actual lifestyle doesn’t measure up to. I could go on and on. Straight up lying about religion, not introducing any of his friends and family.
Yeah I like him to be honest. Obviously he's not perfect. But I like that he's eccentric and his arrogant demeanor seems to mask some insecurities and a sweet side - it's so cute to me how Amanda seems to soften him.
Hi Sergio
Did I just watch the man completely gaslight Amanda in the booths and then tell her that he’s decided she’s the girlfriend? Completely dismissed his lie and covered it up with some sugar. I’m SHOOKETHED.
He's been icky from the very beginning. The worst for me is when he wanted to break up with her because she was bullied which to him, implied she might not be attractive. What an asshat
Ikr
I'm rooting for him to get a solid redemption arc.
Yes, I agree… and as it ended I actually grew to really like him.. x
It’s his huge ego that bothers me….he thinks he’s maradonna or something….but the lies, gaslighting the sweep over receding hair and the petulance makes me want to slap him! Amanda is slumming it with him….shes way out of his league (but she can lose that chunky cream cardigan now……)!
It’s hard to tell but I think the scoliosis is still a little visible for her back despite the corrective work & she’s hiding those imperfections with clothing…that being said I’ve only watched up until the pods so maybe we’ll be able to see her back more on the honeymoon 👀
Amanda is way out of his league on so many levels! I would’ve liked to see her with Oskar….more her level!
We do have different standards on beauty.
Sergio and catja would be good. She wants a bad boy with edge and Sergio waves all the red flags around and around
I don’t think she wants a bad boy. But rather someone who doesn’t put her on a pedestal.
Yeah she wants to be treated poorly. Otherwise she wouldn’t have been sleeping so often with C, all whilst not being into him at all. She bolted up when he started defending himself, you could tell she was getting into it. Maybe she even expected him to yell at her? The whole thing - so toxic. And Sergio don’t even get me started 🤣
My kinky radar goes off with Cristopher sooo that might be another reason that she’s enjoying the sex 👀
I thought they would’ve been a much better couple and way more physically compatible!! She’s beautiful and Oskar is so sweet.
In what way? def not from a physical attractiveness point of view
Amanda looks like a model, Sergio is like an old, short balding man with a comb-over!
OMG that oily hair... I just can´t
Did you see his bedroom?
Why did he get so mad about her having a laughing fit? That “bedroom” is objectively hilarious.
It's the same with the bracelet.
He’s so insecure. I find it really sad, he’s so painfully insecure and shuts down completely when he perceives any sort of criticism or insecurity from Amanda (and probably any other woman). I can’t help but wonder what experiences in his life made him put up this defence mechanism.
Its so painfully obvious he puts on the arrogant and loud character to cover up his insecurities. does he not think anyone with eyes can see through that? We all have insecurities dude just relax
lol so true
He was probably embarrassed and insecure
And how he constantly gaslights her for asking him ‘uncomfortable questions’ as soon as he has no answer he makes her feel bad about the question.
He’s definitely controversial— giant walking Red Flag man-child!
The guy is just a premium insecure dude hyping up himself. He seriously behaves like a pro-footballer, with his over beeswaxed hair. He's starting to humble himself episode by episode though. The girl he ended up with his leagues ahead of him and he's starting to see it.
Honestly I think he always knew Amanda was out of his league. Not just physically, but also in terms of class. Sergio’s parents must be first generation immigrants from Columbia. I know what it’s like to grow up in a Scandinavian country when you’re short and dark as opposed to tall and blond, it messes with your confidence for sure. Did you notice how uncomfortable he was when visiting Amanda’s parents? She comes from the perfect Swedish family, in their beautiful big house. My guess is that Sergio, like Meira, did not grow up like that, and felt like those who did were so different from them. Meira is better at expressing cultural and socioeconomic differences than Sergio, but I strongly believe he feels the same way. I might be projecting though.
just a heads up it's Colombia, not Columbia.
I think it's partially also the vanity of these cultures too (I'm also 1st Gen). You could see it when are asks her mom if he's handsome as if it's a deal breaker.
These were my thoughts as well.
He is a bard with high charisma passing all his persuasion checks on you haha. Don’t fall for it! Stay strong
He is very manipulative. Look how he lied to Amanda: "Krissy-ly called me a misogynist." She didn't say that in their on camera conversation. She said, I will always have Amanda’s back. When the two women came to talk to him, he said, "You are saying I have a wife and a child in Barcelona." Nobody said that. It's a tactic. Just exaggerate everything and make it absurd. He was looking for an empathetic, forgiving woman like Amanda in the pods and he found her. Everyone else, with more experience, thought poorly of him. He found his victim, and we have been witnessing how manipulators can create a fake reality and talk their way out of any situation. See how he always tries to look confused when confronted and just waits for others to say something that will give him an out. I am worried for Amanda. She seems smitten. She is almost a pursuer in their relationship despite all the horrible things he does. He even said it himself that he would have left this relationship a long time ago if he was her. If she stays with him, I think he will hurt her and will take advantage of her goodness and steal her light. Just because he had a few cute moments of looking in love on camera, doesn’t change who he really is. He had to throw her a bone with all that has been going on.
Oof! When he said the rumour was that he had a wife and child in Barcelona, and one of the women corrected him and said that the rumour was a woman said she was four months pregnant with his baby. And Sergio was like “I heard it was three.” I was like SEE?! Is no one noticing this? He just told on himself! He *knew* what the rumour actually was (a woman was pregnant with his baby) but he was purposefully exaggerating it (saying the rumour was he had a wife and kid) to make it seem more absurd as you said.
I agree. At first I wanted to assume it was a translation issue, but he was amazingly evasive, and he twisted and exaggerated to try to silence people who were asking him reasonable questions. He didn’t say “I hooked up in Barcelona, but no one had reached out to me.” Or “I don’t know anyone there.” He just kept ignoring them as they asked him to see, from their perspective, it was concerning. And the way he handled the apartment, acting as if she wasn’t having a totally normal, predictable response. She was gracious. He was absurdly manipulative and self-absorbed to think they could both live there. My only hope is that Amanda is keeping her eyes open and is making choices. For some reason I don’t think she’s entirely fooled, but she is letting this play out without demeaning herself, I hope.
I feel like the reason why people don’t understand the Sergio hate is because they can’t see manipulation tactics themselves. They don’t know what gaslighting looks like, what manipulation looks like, what a liar will do to cover tracks and avoid the truth. Honestly you could take at least the first 3-4 episodes of this show and teach a class on how to spot a manipulator. It’s sad most people can’t see it, especially Amanda. But when you’re wearing rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags
I feel like he's got big issues and needs a strong woman like Amanda is what he needs to work himself out.
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Well, they can both be gaslighters and manipulators. They just have different tactics.
Right? What I would give to be this oblivious again..... 😢🫠
100% this! He manipulates her and gaslights her constantly. I feel very sad for Amanda. She's a beautiful woman with a pure almost naive heart and he takes advantage of her.
I agree with you! I am so concern for her and hope that she doesn’t marry him!
I just want to watch a video of him styling his hair. I'm only an episode or two in so hoping it's going to happen soon. 🤞🏼
Exactly how much product does he use
Not sure, but it’s not working
I think he’s an insecure baby man but he seems to be a good pair with Amanda cuz she’s got the patience of a mother. And that he can’t be as bad as the editing made it seem if she stayed with him 🤷♀️
That's what I'm thinking too.... well hoping... especially if they do get married.
Dude was about to break with Amanda because he though she could be ugly (after she said she was bullied in high school). Sincerely this guy looks insane to me.
He acknowledged it was something inside of him that was wrong for thinking that and he obviously tried to find out why.
And then the next episode tried to leave because of an ugly bracelet and that she followed a different ring tradition. The guy is unhinged
Though the whole bracelet/ring thing he could be justified. Imagine if the roles were reversed? If he said I didn't get you a ring because I believe the ring is at marriage. Supposedly in Sweden all the men get an engagement ring so he is the only guy in the group without one. I don't judge him for feeling insecure in that moment.
He did immediately say himself it was horrible and that he was superficial. I give him credit for being honest and recognizing that.
More like he did that to give himself a way out. To kinda "soften the blow" of how incredibly horrible his thoughts were at the time. He manipulated the situation to make it seem like what he's doing isn't all that bad. It seemed to have worked. Look at you saying now that at least he was honest 😅
What did he try to manipulate? He shared his feelings knowing how bad it would make him look. He didn't try to defend it either. Yeah, call me a sucker but I'd rather a person be honest than pull a Lucas and say "oh I'll still love you even if you look like a troll" when that turned out to be bs.
Nah, that's just like someone tells you they are very honest and tell it as it is just before they are spectacularly rude to you
Immediately? No. After all guys positioned themselves, he still tried to defend his position THEN he changed sides
From what I remember he prefaced the whole convo with acknowledging being superficial and as it goes on he says he is ashamed of his thoughts and knows how bad it sounds. Obviously the guy has some issues as we all do but he at least seems to be self aware in this instance.
some of the things he said like being bullied was a turn off for him came out his own mouth. he’s said a lot of weird gross comments
He had shown us that he’s quite a Machiavellian. When being confronted, just look at his eyes, he’s thinking hard how to get away with it using different manipulation ways although there’s no need to. He had lied and gaslighted on screen just to make himself look better (so who knows how many lies he had gotten away with without proofs on footage). He can’t just simply be honest. He’s the opposite of being truthful and responsible, which makes him a terrible partner. We understand that everyone has traumas and that’s what makes us who we are today; but we can’t fix them. So why does Amanda want to be with him is beyond my understanding. Maybe she had not been hurt before by someone like him.
He has dark energy irrespective of the editing
Yep. You can’t get a shitty edit if you didn’t deliver shitty footage.
I still see him in a very negative light. I think he's an adept liar. When Amanda questioned him in the pods about lying to her, he smoothly let her continue to talk. She gave him an out, saying "Maybe it was just a miscommunication, blah blah blah" and he took that. It's what she wanted to hear, so saying "Oh yeah, I must have said that though I don't remember. It's a miscommunication" worked out well in his favor. I side-eyed him there. Very clever, but he didn't have to work for it. Amanda gave him the out. Then, with the Barcelona baby nonsense, can he not just say no? "There's no way I have a baby in Barcelona Amanda, please ignore these crazy rumors." He goes out of his way to say "I have no idea about a baby, it's news to me! Who is telling you this? Rumors!" Like, sir. Soooo messy! For him to have this much drama surrounding him, it's suspicious. Even if he doesn't have a surprise Barcelona baby (I'm guessing he doesn't, no one has stepped forward as of yet), I consider it a red flag that he has enough ops to try and sabotage him. Like, Amanda. Do you really want all this drama? Is it worth it? The dramatics with "I almost didn't come." What?!?!? He's a very strange man. But, hey. If she likes it, I love it 🙃
This is my mentality completely. I am STILL waiting for an explanation, excuse, denial, literally anything at all. “I’ve never been to Barcelona” or “I did sleep with someone and we wore protection” or “This is in no way true at all” like bro say SOMETHING
Yes even though his victim portrayal in the recent episodes have made me feel more neutral about him, it can easily turn negative based on the next episodes. I think the best case ending scenario would be if they didn't get married right away and Sergio tried to work on himself.
I will definitely agree they did him a little dirty with how much they have been hitting that "Someone has a child on the way in Barcelona!" (and it was obviously going to be him) in the trailers. Because now we see that straight up nothing came out of it and it was probably just a bullshit rumour. That I think is a little unfair to him (if it is actually not true at all).
Agreed, and they also made a poor decision to have absolutely no follow up?! Like nothing was ever clarified. Did he hook up with anyone in Barcelona, who had this information, why now?
Or.... it's all going to come out at the wedding? But yeh... it was kind of eneventful- ultimately we don't know if he has this baby or not.
Why did they dub his voice with a movie star voice?
Lol yeah the dubbings always seem bad to me. Especially when I was watching LIB japan. But I can't devote so much attention to LIB that I'd be reading subtitles for it.
Is reading effort?
When LIB is background tv that you put on whilst doing chores… yes. I don’t sit and watch episodes of this.
Totally…I knit and feet up….it’s just rubbish tv to unwind!
Minutes in, I couldn’t handle the dubbed voices. I changed it off English and read my way through the show. It’s totally worth it!
+ swedish is a beautiful language:-)
I mean.. he didn’t make it that hard for production to give him the villain edit. The lying in the pods. The way he responded about Amanda opening up about her childhood bullying, some of his comments on the honeymoon, how confrontational he was to her about discussing his faith with her family despite knowing how important it is to her.. he’s not not a red flag. It is reality tv so we will never truly know.. I feel like he’s lashing out at Amanda because he’s insecure and unconfident in himself. Amanda presents as a stunning, well-spoken, emotionally intelligent, self-aware woman. Unless you also know yourself and love yourself on that same level, it’s going to be a nightmare for any couple that has an uneven dynamic to have a healthy, loving, supportive relationship without jealousy and insecurity ruining it.
>how confrontational he was to her about discussing his faith with her family despite knowing how important it is to her I'm confident he lied about being religious. He just told Amanda "sure, I'm a Catholic" because he didn't actually expect her to practice, and then when he realized he was about to meet her dad who is a pastor and feared that this man was going to ask legitimate questions such as "where do you go to church?", he shat his pants and made up that "religion is very personal to me" bullshit.
Religious people LOVE to talk about their shared religion with people. The fact that he didn’t want to made it so obvious he lied
100%
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He has no idea about his faith. He said to the pastor something like you are Christian and I am Catholic 😂 I was laughing so much.
This was my impression too.
My thoughts as well, this man knows little about catholic and he’s now scraping to keep up the lie
He definitely doesn't have a filter which makes good material for the producers. And I agree that he does appear to be a massive red flag unless we are hugely missing some context. But he also made me feel like there's a lot of diversity in character out there. Red flags are rather common in real life and reality TV must include such people as well. But there are parts of him shown that make it seem like he steuggles with his own character as well. Who knows, Amanda might be the glove that fits and allows him to work through his issues for the better. But, like you said, such relationships are tiring and I hope Amanda doesn't get drained by project Sergio.
I don’t think we’re seeing a bad edit, this is really basic behavior context clues that many of us have witnessed in the wild with dates over the years. It’s pretty easy to spot for me nowadays but I was not the best at it once-upon-a-time. The ladies in the pod talked about him the way they did because of his behavior on their dates, because he was being evasive about saying his name and not trying to get to know them at that first encounter. They sensed he was playing games because he was, and who knows what he was thinking. Maybe he thought he was conjuring up some mysterious attraction factor so they’d want another date with him because he thinks that’s what women want. He lies or gets defensive and then spins things around to make the other question themselves, a manipulative tactic. He straight up lied to her face about the dating other girls thing, and she wasn’t even expecting him to only date her - she just didn’t expect him to lie to her then lie again when she gave him the chance to be honest. When he had the whole little bracelet and wedding ring conversation with her, including the whole “I wasn’t even going to come here.”, “I only give 3 chances to get it right”, that was not coming from a place of sincerity from where I was sitting. As he was saying those things to her his demeanor was combative, and he saw her react with empathy so he had her right where he wanted. Ffw to the whole apartment thing where she was teasing him and it bruised his ego - he stonewalled her for it as she sat in the kitchen. The fragility is palpable, and I don’t mean just legitimately having one’s feelings hurt because they are proud of their home but are teased about it - she was clearly not meaning to be hateful and he knew that, he *knows* her. It seems his feelings get hurt at every turn but I don’t think his feelings are truly hurt at all, he’s trying to control the dynamic so that he has the upper hand, emotionally, and she will adjust her behavior to his temperament in that moment. Unfortunately I’ve dated a couple of guys who are exactly like him, and I’m not seeing him through a biased lens, it’s like there’s an official playbook out there or something these people have.
This!! He is so manipulative. Agree, it’s something you have to learn from dating people like this first hand.
I’m glad you brought up the whole bracelet/ring/three chances thing. That (and the unnecessary lies about her being the only one he was talking to) were the key red flags for me. Even if there is nothing intentionally malicious to it, at best it’s going to be emotionally exhausting for Amanda. And, sure, her personality might be well suited for it. But I don’t find it fair for one partner to always be understanding and the other just allowed to act immaturely with no reflection or effort to change their behaviour.
It’s exhausting and manipulative to make someone think you’re halfway out the door all the time. It’s insanely anxiety inducing to be with someone you have to walk on eggshells around. He knows exactly what he’s doing
I agree that Sergio-Amanda have the makings of a toxic relationship that we see so often in real life. His insecurities are very reminiscent of many narcissists I've met, although he doesn't come off as a narcissist himself. And Amanda is truly the high-level empath that gets taken advantage of in such relationships. I have been the Krissy-ly to many of my Amanda-like friends. But through the last few episodes I've somehow started to understand Segio a bit. For me its a new feeling, and I am thankful to the show's editing and casting for that.
The way he react to his insecurities is a real problem and how he treated Amanda this is not because of editing. Now clearly Sergio suffers from "ugly unprivilege" and the way the women, exception made of Krissy-Ly who can actually use her brain, are ready to make his relationship explode without any proof of whatsoever just because they don't like him is revealing on how we treat our pairs based on their apparence. For Sergio defense, he seems at least aware of his behavioural problems, is ashamed of his reactions, and seems willing to work on them
Yes sergio is a complex character. His comments when he felt ashamed that he found Amanda less attractive after finding out she was bullied was really nuanced. He was in touch with his feelings but didn't know what to do about them. And I agree that He is extremely insecure. He acts like a cool guy in the pods which just ends up coming off weird to the women. He was pissed about the wrist band. He was pissed at not getting a ring. He boasted about his apartment. He didn't wanna talk after Amanda laughed about his apartment. But I think Amanda is rather good at reassuring him despite his insecurities. I'm not sure how she benefits in this relationship though.
I dot think he felt ashamed of his reaction when he found out Amanda had been bullied. If he had any self awareness he would have not said that to a camera. What he did was adapt to his environment, just like this type of personality does and then changed his mind when the production team had a chat with him and reassured him amanda didnt look like the hunchback of notredame. He noticed the other men were not happy so he zipped it. If he had been in a locker room with a different type of man he would have been nastier. It's as if these people don't know who they are or what they think unless they are manipulating something external to them. He creates conflict so he is always in control of amanda who has to be nice, explain herself, walk on eggshells. He pretends he is contrite and "working on himself" but he isn't, he is telling people whatever he needs to say at one give time. He's exhausting.
he evolved in a field where like and shallowness are everything and he hasn't looks. he's quite hardened
Exactly. This LIB season is the first that made me think from such perspectives. In real life often toxic personalities seem irredeemable to me. I struggle to empathize with people like Sergio usually but I'm glad I'm opening myself more thanks to this show.
Thought of him as dodgy because he played games during his initial dates (ie refusing to say his name 🙄), he lied to Amanda about ending his relationships with the other cast members then gaslighted her when she confronted him, he questioned his feelings for Amanda after she revealed that she was bullied in school, he couldn’t give her a straight answer about his religion out of the pods. The man brought it on himself. ETA I honestly wouldn’t judge him about the potential pregnancy in Barcelona as long as he wasn’t keeping it secret.
I did find him dodgy as well. But I definitely think I was biased against him because his behavior didn't look as sophisticated as the usual contestants. After the latest episodes I do feel like no one ever gave him a chance. All the female cast talking about him in a chat, getting laughed at for his living situation, all that is trying to turn him into a victim in my head now. Props to the editing for giving him an arc like this. We'll never get to know the real him through netflix anyway.
A grown man goes on a show looking foe a life partner, talks all that thrash, but lives that way? I'm sorry, I have ho sympathy. Last season one guy got railed because of paper plates, granted his bad-credit-wide-eyed self was also looking for a come up. But Sergio should get a pass for his living situation? I understand this is reality TV, but logic...