There is Love Island etiquette to follow. If you have had sex or been sexually intimate with your partner or have expressed deep feelings for them, then don't go ham in casa with the women. You can explore connections without being sexual. It just becomes a thing that if you wouldn't do it with your couple watching then you prob shouldn't be doing it..for example Aaron would have NEVER done all that if kaylor was watching whereas Miguel probably would have with Leah watching lol
Just echoing your sentiments:
All of the villa and their partners especially were really shocked by Kordell and Aaron. Liv said it best to Kaylor when she said “you’re not delusional, we were all fooled, nobody here thought this would happen”
vs. the Leah/Miguel example where she had zero surprise at his actions and was very aware of how he would be moving at casa and was unsurprised and pretty unphased by him bringing someone back because all of those actions are consistent with who he has presented himself to be in the villa since his arrival. While Aaron and Kordell seemingly did 180s on how they had been representing themselves and their couples during their time at the villa since day 1 of the show.
I will also add that I don’t really think Kenny did anything wrong. I think he moved pretty respectfully and had a very new connection with JaNa and hasn’t had much time in the villa to explore connections. I was disappointed he brought someone back but mostly because I’m rooting for JaNa as one of my favorites and feel like she’s had a pretty rough ride in here. It was also disappointing because his reasoning that he gave seemed rooted in fear of his own rejection rather than based on the strength of the connection he built with Catherine. I think the negative reactions to him are heavily based on empathy for JaNa and her journey combined with her status as one of the fan favorites of the season.
With Rob he’s just the hot mess express. I think he could have made it through casa without much backlash but bringing Daniela back has everyone raising an eyebrow and wondering what exactly it is he’s trying to accomplish by having her back in the villa considering the drama it will create.
It’s just the way you go about things. In the past, islanders who want to explore a casa connection but who have a strong connection in the villa have gotten to know people without downplaying their connection in the villa, maybe not rushing to physical intimacy outside of challenges, etc. that being said there isn’t really a good way to go about it or at least I can’t think of anyone who didn’t get in trouble or exploring a casa connection. and it isn’t fun to watch when people don’t stray from their couple, so 🤷🏽♀️
I just think Aaron and Kordell set themselves up this year because Aaron was flipping out about Kaylor kissing boys in challenges and was saying he’s falling for her, only to get super affectionate with Daniela very quickly. and Kordell said himself he owed Serena the respect of not sleeping with another girl in bed/kissing outside of challenges, and he didn’t do that.
Also Liv was encouraging the girls to explore connections, but Kendall was overexcited and almost living vicariously through the boys. also the “she’s definitely not Kaylor” comment was mean. it just seemed like he was trying to impress the boys.
In the Love Island universe there are things that are ‘ok’ to do in casa and things that are ‘not ok’. If you want to be respectful to your couple it’s ‘ok’ to kiss in challenges but not outside challenges. It’s a grey area to share a bed but mostly ok if you literally just sleep and don’t hook up. Then the biggest sign of loyalty is sleeping outside. That’s basically signaling you’re closed off.
To add - it also depends some on the level things were at before casa. Like if Miguel had come back single and Leah later found out he’d been kissing people outside challenges she might not be thrilled but I doubt she’d have a meltdown.
This is what I assumed but do the boys know this because it seems like they have a different set of rules-they think they can do whatever and it is fair game to test and they can come back and it will be fine. I’m confused why the boys seem to have this narrative
Welcome to the Fandom.
Technically, no one was closed off, so I understand your point of view that the boys didn't do anything wrong. But you have to remember that emotions are heightened, and kissing outside of challenges is a big deal.
In my opinion, this is what boys did wrong:
Aaron: he didn't close off the relationship, but he started to give hints about using the L word. That's icky. Especially with how sensitive Kaylor is. He was upset about Kaylor not kissing him in that game earlier in the season but turned around and acted a fool in Casa.
Kordell: I actually think he's a better match with Daia. But he did too much. I have the same criticism of Serena when she didn't take Kordell's feelings into consideration. Kordell was inconsiderate of Serena. Dry humping was a bridge too far.
Kendall: I understand he was trying to be a hype man. But dont sell yourself as the male friend to the girls and then encourage behavior that will hurt them. I'm specifically referring to Aaron/Kaylor.
Kenny: He didn't do anything wrong. From what we saw, he was respectful of Jana. Jana is frustrated with her LI journey, so I'll give her grace.
Miguel: he's a player, never sold himself as in a relationship. He did nothing wrong.
My main gripe is that if the girls were giving even a tenth of energy that the boys were giving, the boys would suddenly understand why doing things in a respectful manner is important. We have seen this in LI UK with Scott/Catherine and Tanya/Shaq.
Here's a perfect example of being mindful of your partner. In LI UK s6, Nas and Demi were couple up. They weren't exclusive, but Nas did find a better match in Casa with Eva. He made it clear he wanted to explore with Eva but didn't kiss her outside of challenges until he had an opportunity to break things off with Demi. Of course, Demi feelings were hurt, but Nas was considerate of Demi when he made his decision.
How to do Casa when you have a strong connection in the villa:
See the conversation Kendall, Kordell and Aaron about boundaries and respect (before they left for Casa).
How not to do Casa when you have a strong connection in the villa:
See footage of them in Casa.
Betrayal is assessed by strength of connections / time spent building that. Some couples \*feel\* like they're a team after 2 days vs. 10 days for example (every dynamic's different ofc). But there's usually some mutual sorta understanding in a couple, about whether they are serious about each other or not.
I guess Casa is like saying if you're serious / just want them, so since Aaron and Kaylor had already communicated both verbally and through their actions that they had big feelings - the betrayal was commensurate with that. Hope it makes sense - like yeah there's not literal labels yet, but he's basically communicating that he would be ok with losing her by doing those things, and doesn't care how his actions would make her feel... They should have some gauge on their partner's strength of feeling vs. their own, and be respectful in navigating that.
LI finally snagged my husband with this amazing season. We're a bit miserable with colds right now and he just said, "At least there's Love Island tonight." (Not saying you should give your husband a cold)
I truly just think that the girls did not get a group of guys that they were interested in. I think they are tired of trying to couple with guys they’re unsure of when their comfort person is 3 days away. Also, recently on IG, the host Arianna said it’s way harder to find quality MEN that are willing to go on this show than women
Because the guys are treating women and connections like objects instead of actual people. It’s fine to test a connection, but I would hope for most people a connection is built off of personality and communication. If they were decent people they could genuinely get to know the casa girls and compare it to their talks and stuff with the villa girls, maybe kiss to see if the chemistry is there after knowing the mental connection is. They have time to be sexual after they’ve communicated clearly w their og partner and are respectful about it being a better match.
Instead they lead with their dick and showed everyone that they actually only value women based on their sexual chemistry and/or getting their rocks off is more of a priority to them than not hurting the feelings of the woman they’ve been courting.
TLDR: The problem isn’t that they are exploring, it’s that they are treating women as play things rather than real people with feelings.
Can you explain how rejecting someone/telling them you just see them as a friend is comparable to knowingly disrespecting and hurting someone just because you are horny?
Serena’s actions have showed that she values people for their personality and connection, and respects their time and energy.
I’m more sympathetic to Kordell because Daia has been saying all the right things and essentially love bombing him so I can understand how easy it was for him to fold, especially with how uncertain Serena had been towards him and how young he is. But if he was smarter or had any depth to him he would’ve taken the time to really get to know Daia and know if he’s more compatible with her than Serena instead of jumping to being very sexual with her. I don’t get misogynistic vibes from Kordell tho, I think the vibes in Casa were EXTREMELY misogynistic and Kordell is easily influenced.
All of the guys were acting like kids in a candy shop instead of grown men in a delicate situation with real people, real feelings, and real consequences.
This. One is transparent and one is not. I think some people see relationships as transactional. You did something I didn’t like so now I get to do it to you back. That’s sad for those who follow that set of rules.
She was honest with him about her feelings at the time. She was guarded. He said he was okay with how she was. She finally started opening up and then it looks like all he wanted was a lad’s holiday anyway. That’s the problem.
Telling someone you aren’t feeling them romantically before they unwittingly get their hopes up is the definition of taking someone else’s feelings into account 🤡
You’re fine the view it that way. I do think some fans get too attached to certain relationships and if they talk to anyone it sort puts a red flag up.
That being said most fans can separate and know that everyone should explore casa if that’s what they want to do, especially if they haven’t closed off. It’s about communicating with your current couple though. You can explore new connections and be respectful. It’s the out of mind out of sight mentality that typically the men seem to have that since their partners are not there they will end up kissing or doing more than that outside of challenges, where their partners are being loyal by not crossing boundaries.
A huge example of this is Aaron & Kaylor. They’re not closed off at all. That being said Aaron literally told Kaylor that going forward if they’re serious about each other they can’t keep kissing other people. This was mainly directed as her since she kissed Connor on day 3 and then kissed (I forgot who) during a challenge.
However since then Aaron as kissed Andrea on a date. Then went around casa kissing Daniela everywhere. Doing his handshake with Kaylor, with Daniela. Kissing in bed etc. this is all extremely disrespectful to Kaylor especially because we know boundaries were placed and he crossed them.
So again explore all you want but respect the partnership you’re in, because the men wouldn’t have acted this wild if their partners where also in the villa.
It’s the way they went about it, for example all of the girls in strong connections tried to get to know the casa boys in a respectful manner (not kissing outside challenges or dry humping in the bed). Aaron practically told Daniella he loved her and didn’t even come back with her? That kind of thing is not only disrespectful of the girls back in the villa, but the casa girls are basically being treated as pieces of meat. The only ones who were respectful were Kendall and Kenny imo and JaNa’s response to Kenny seemed to be more upset that she wasn’t the first choice again than him exploring options
The men also need to stand up for themselves and their decisions. The only person how kind of defended their choice was Miguel. If you recouple of course the other person will be hurt, they don't owe them silence. These guys are getting dragged partly because they're openly admitting the OG girls are the stronger connections and they want to keep both women. That's not how it works, of course it ends up happening but to have no confidence in your choice is so weak.
This is an excellent point. JaNa asked the right questions with Kenny which should have been asked of all those boys. Explain yourself, none of that low energy stuff. Cause they sure seemed big energy in Casa.
I don’t know if it would fully affect how anyone see it but at least it’s more responsive and respectful of both girls.
As we’ve been saying, stand on business.
OP welcome to the LI club! My husband watches with me and totally gets into it. He loves the drama, especially when Casa is the over.
Hey!! so yes, you are correct in the fact that none of them are exclusive in that all of them have the right to explore that connection.On the other hand when you follow the development of their relationship look at where they start and look up where they come from, fans sometimes start to get invested in the “ relationship “. so It becomes extremely disappointing to see how the men are acting in Casa because it makes you look back and wonder were their feelings ever genuine or true for the girls in the villa.
On the other hand the reason people are irritated with Kendall is because he is grown deep friendships with some of the girls… so why would he want to contribute to the destruction of their coupling KNOWING how this would affect some of the girls. On top of that is comment on how “kaylor is no daniela” was simply just rude and distasteful especially when he’s friends with and knows kaylor more.
Right he was giddy and saw as 🍿 entertainment. Which im sure it was but when you see Kaylor as a real person and are friends with her, the level of giddiness without the empathy, without any mixed feelings-came across as callous
I agree, it did come across as callous. I hope he sits down with the og girls and apologizes. First he should apologize to Nicole, tell her what went on and then apologize to the girls. He could have hyped the boys up in a measured way and at the same time told them to be mindful and reasonable. I think he got swept up in the spectacle and drama of it all :/.
I agree with you about the couples and Casa Amor. Only Aaron and Kaylor had said they were closed off. Aaron also was cruel to do the secret handshake and shower kissing with Daniela because Kaylor will see these in Movie Night. I also agree with your opinions on Kendall and Live. Congratulations on your new child!
Yes good point the hand shake reflected so much. It was just like he let his mask slip and you could insert any girl in his lust and nothing would be sacred
Perhaps Aaron and Kordell should not have made promises to sleep outside and not kiss outside of challenges? They both laid on the loyalty really thick and then ran off to Casa with a gas can in one hand and a book of matches in the other.
Daniella even called it out to Kendall that Aaron was saying he and Kaylor were strong and that he was going to remain loyal, but that his actions were saying the opposite.
They were blatantly dishonest. If they weren't sure they could follow through (or never had any intention of doing so), then they should not have laid it on so thick. It's not like they just forgot to sleep outside and not kiss outside of challenges. Both Aaron and Kordell were basically trying to steal home on their first night in Casa. If they wanted to remain open, then it's perfectly fine to try and get to know a person if it feels like there is mutual attraction. If after getting to know one another, there appears to be an actual connection, sure maybe share a kiss or two to see if there is any physical chemistry. Then, keep it chill and respectful before returning with your new connection. If the new connection is that strong, then I'm pretty sure it will survive without the dry humping and a recycled "secret" handshake.
I'd love for Aaron and Kordell to be put on the spot. Please ask them what they know about Daniella and Daia beyond the superficial questions like favorite color, food, or where they live/grew up. What do they admire, respect, and love about Daniella and Daia that make them better connections? I bet they can't. They each both treated Casa like it was a bachelor party in Vegas. Except Casa is the opposite of Vegas. If what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas, as the saying goes, then we all equally know that what happens in Casa gets aired on movie night for all to see.
First of all, it’s not a dumb question. If we are talking about the boys in general, you’re right they are doing what the point of the show is. My only problem is Aaron - while they weren’t bf/gf they were practically saying they loved each other and talking about meeting each other’s families. He switched up so quick and was pretty disrespectful and manipulative when he came to the recouping, saying “what did you see!?” and “it’s a 1 minute clip” Kordell on the other hand, even though I love and support Serena, he may just have a way better match with Daia. As far as the other guys, if you are going to bring a girl back from Casa, do so with confidence. I felt so bad for the Casa girls after hearing the guys say they were just testing the waters. They deserve better than that! If I was Catherine I would have walked away. Kenny clearly doesn’t like her that much he was just afraid JaNa found someone else.
So to answer your question: Aside from Aaron the boys didn’t do anything “wrong” they are just being wishy washy with their choices. It’s just disappointing as women (who are the majority of viewers) to see that men can forget about you so quickly if you aren’t right in front of them.
Also Aaron was so over the top gaga about Daniella. So first he was all l word about Kaylor then boom he acted like Kaylor didn’t exist. He was gushing and at one point said he wasn’t thinking about Kaylor and he seemed like he was going to explode with lust and then BOOM he is like ok going back to Kaylor and then arranges and green lights the girl to come back with Rob. That’s just a lot
I actually think that Kaylor's reaction to the video was way over the top and unreasonable... but if she had seen what ACTUALLY happened, it was an appropriate response.
When the girls "explored connections" it was conversations, maybe a short kiss. Maybe they cuddled in bed, but the ones with stronger couples pre-casa slept outside or made barriers in the bed. That's how you explore respectfully.
Having sex, talking about love, etc etc is not respectful.
Also does anyone know how we can find out the length of tonight’s episode before it airs? I’m thrown off that some are ~60 min and the other night’s ep was ~1:30
The last one was a bit different. They had so much to show and thankfully didn’t want to leave us hanging. Casa recoupling is a big event. This one was rather unique with so many different things going on.
I don’t think there is a way to know prior but maybe someone else knows a way.
TBH, I agree with you, unless someone has a really strong connection then they should be more respectful with kissing and humping. I don't see a problem with how Kordell moved. He finally got attention that he deserved. Homegirl jumped on top of him in the morning. In the real world if you're not exclusive you can do whatever you want. If a guy/girl says their open that's what they are. There's no "respectful cheating", unless you give them the courtesy of not doing it in their face. Kissing only I'm challenges is dumb because you don't really know if you like someone until you kiss them in a regular intimate setting. Cher did say "It's In His Kiss".
Sleeping in a bed with someone is not weird. You can share a bed without making out with someone unless you can't control yourself. I hate when the girls sleep outside and don't give themselves a chance to explore.
The women don't get tested like the men. I want them to bring some real bombshells like a Miguel where all of the women were grabbing him to talk to him.
Casa Amor isnt a hall pass for you to kiss and dry hump every casa girl. That was not normal behavior for casa it was thee most disrespectful casa ever. Kissing and humping outside of challenges are not ok at all an in the UK you would get shamed to hell for it. It not only showed the lack of respect for their couple but also of themselves.
Why do people think LOVE island is all about lust!? This was not normal casa behavior at all it was really gross to even watch. All the guys give me the ick now.
In my opinion, the only one who did bad is Aaron. It’s about how strong the couple is going into casa. I don’t think the other boys were in strong enough couples to warrant not exploring the way they did. Even for Aaron, it would’ve been fine if he flirted but he took it too far for where he and Kaylor were going
And, if someone does actually find someone they want to switch to (ie kordell) that’s exactly the point of the show. Idk why people here are mad about them just playing the game the show creates for them.
Everyone is saying Serena clearly cared for him because she was sleeping outside but we also know the casa men were not it, no one was interested in him. If she had anyone of interest, she’d have done the same thing and we’d all be happy for kordell finally having someone who’s actually into him
Not so about Serena and Kordell. She let all of her walls down and told him that she really liked him and was truly into him, and they actually got very intimate in and out of bed the night before he went off to Casa.
As others have said, it's how you go about it. Aaron lovebombed Kaylor and was also jealous. There were more expectations for Kaylor that he would be thoughtful. Not all over the next girl like she is just a sex object. I think Kordell is less in the wrong, because Serena was lukewarm for the prior weeks. She reminded him frequently including that embarrassing dance challenge that they are open. I'm not fully surprised that he enjoyed meeting a new girl but he could have restrained himself physically. Hormones. I feel sorry for Serena's feelings but I think Serena is more concerned about being publicly embarrassed.
Listen, talk is cheap. You can say "oh we're not closed off", but if the couple has been together since day 1, you're telling each other you're falling in love with each other, you give each other love tokens, you're being physically intimate beyond kissing... y'all are closed off to anyone with any hint of intelligence, regardless of if you've said it or not. Obviously.
Also couple time in the villa is different than couple time in the outside world, simply because they're together 24/7. If we go off the UK model, filming lasts 8 weeks, so a couple that's been together two weeks in the villa has been together 25% of the time. So that's like...3-4 months to me if we make the 8 weeks equal to a year on the outside. So casa typically happens at the halfway point. And if you're in a couple that's been together four of the 8 weeks, that's basically six months. And again, regardless of if you're "closed off" or not, it's very clear if you've been with someone half the time of filming, y'all are extremely solid. So the expectation is you won't be moving mad in casa. At least, that used to be the expectation. For some reason shit changed around...series 7? Of LIUK. And not in a good way. But that's for another post.
I think half of the frustration lies in the fact that most of the boys are saying how great the connection is, to the point that the girls start to believe it, and then deviate first chance they get. If they were honest about liking them but not being all in then the girls could carry on in Casa too. It isn’t fair to say what they are saying and have the girls sit out their cass experience while the boys keep them on the back burner.
Typically one can “explore” connections. Like talking and flirting. It’s kind of a Love Island no no to be kissing people you’re not in a couple with if it hasn’t been communicated you’re both open. Definitely not more than kissing. Each day in there is like a week without outside anything and 24/7 on top of each other. So, when you see a couple lasting weeks, consider it serious.
I think the most succinct answer to your question is that you're just supposed to be very open and honest about your feelings, and then act accordingly. For instance if you're sending every possible signal that you're on the absolute verge of confessing total love for someone than don't act like they don't exist in casa (aaron).
There are no hard rules, but in general it's common sense stuff about not acting out of pocket. Another example is Kordell acting like he's only got eyes for Serena to the point that he leaves for casa saying he's not gonna even be kissing anyone, then he turns around and glues himself to the first girl that likes him by the end of the first day.
As supporting evidence for this way of looking at it, nobody cares about what Miguel is doing because none of his relationships are in a serious stage and he is being fairly open about everything he's doing
kordell and aaron themselves set standards for themselves before they went into casa and then ignored them. they said they were going to respect their connection because they have real feelings for their girls and that they weren't going to kiss or touch outside of a challenge and would sleep outside out of respect for their girls. just to not do any of that the second they got into casa, THATS what they did wrong, miguel made no promises and acted exactly how we thought he would (actually a lot better than i thought he would tbh) kendall was a shit stirrer but he still respected his connection with nicole while in casa, rob is just a producer plant, and kenny just 🧍♂️ and then showed up with a casa girl who looked equally confused about being picked because he was insecure that jana was going to recouple because their relationship was only three days old
if a guy can't even follow his own rules that he sets for himself then how can a partner trust that he'd respect boundaries that they set?
It’s dumb they set those rules to begin with but it doesn’t really matter- they didn’t tell their partner and then break that promise. Nothing of the sort was discussed. I agree Aaron was shady but not for that reason
The 5 stages made me HONK with laughter….. 1 2 3 4 VOTING 🤌🏻 welcome to hell (from a British love island millenial fan that watched all even the original in the 2000s!)
Because you don’t need to have your tongue down someone’s throat and dry hump to “explore connections”. Exploring connections should be talking and getting to know eachother and I’m not talking sexually. The girls were encouraging to explore connections by getting to know them. This just goes to show how different women and men’s brains work. Exploring connections for girls mean opening up and getting to know someone. Exploring connections for boys = dry humping and trying to get in someone’s pants
Welcome to one of the biggest flip flopping fan bases out there. The same people who were hating on Serena 2 weeks ago are now hating on Kordell and saying she’s a queen. People have amnesia or something, it’s odd
You’re right that none of them are in exclusive committed relationships. no one has asked anyone to be their girlfriend and no one is even closed off yet. the purpose of casa amor for islanders not closed off yet is to explore other connections.
however some people have decided that Kordell somehow cheated on Serena when neither of them believed they were in a relationship. some of the audience just seems a bit confused.
I’ll put it this way: ask your wife if before you were official, if she would’ve thought it was wrong of you to wear *her* ring while being physical with another woman.
It’s not what they did, it’s how they did it
No one said he was. Again, it’s not what he did it’s how he did it. He moved shitty and made choices he knew would hurt her. Read the comments l, few people care he found someone else
As a women, I 100% agree and had the same opinion. People advocate for the girls girl but when the boys do the same thing, they get scrutinized. At the end of the day, every single one of these islanders remained open for casa. So the outrage is a little much.
There is Love Island etiquette to follow. If you have had sex or been sexually intimate with your partner or have expressed deep feelings for them, then don't go ham in casa with the women. You can explore connections without being sexual. It just becomes a thing that if you wouldn't do it with your couple watching then you prob shouldn't be doing it..for example Aaron would have NEVER done all that if kaylor was watching whereas Miguel probably would have with Leah watching lol
Just echoing your sentiments: All of the villa and their partners especially were really shocked by Kordell and Aaron. Liv said it best to Kaylor when she said “you’re not delusional, we were all fooled, nobody here thought this would happen” vs. the Leah/Miguel example where she had zero surprise at his actions and was very aware of how he would be moving at casa and was unsurprised and pretty unphased by him bringing someone back because all of those actions are consistent with who he has presented himself to be in the villa since his arrival. While Aaron and Kordell seemingly did 180s on how they had been representing themselves and their couples during their time at the villa since day 1 of the show. I will also add that I don’t really think Kenny did anything wrong. I think he moved pretty respectfully and had a very new connection with JaNa and hasn’t had much time in the villa to explore connections. I was disappointed he brought someone back but mostly because I’m rooting for JaNa as one of my favorites and feel like she’s had a pretty rough ride in here. It was also disappointing because his reasoning that he gave seemed rooted in fear of his own rejection rather than based on the strength of the connection he built with Catherine. I think the negative reactions to him are heavily based on empathy for JaNa and her journey combined with her status as one of the fan favorites of the season. With Rob he’s just the hot mess express. I think he could have made it through casa without much backlash but bringing Daniela back has everyone raising an eyebrow and wondering what exactly it is he’s trying to accomplish by having her back in the villa considering the drama it will create.
Is there etiquette? Really?
It’s just the way you go about things. In the past, islanders who want to explore a casa connection but who have a strong connection in the villa have gotten to know people without downplaying their connection in the villa, maybe not rushing to physical intimacy outside of challenges, etc. that being said there isn’t really a good way to go about it or at least I can’t think of anyone who didn’t get in trouble or exploring a casa connection. and it isn’t fun to watch when people don’t stray from their couple, so 🤷🏽♀️ I just think Aaron and Kordell set themselves up this year because Aaron was flipping out about Kaylor kissing boys in challenges and was saying he’s falling for her, only to get super affectionate with Daniela very quickly. and Kordell said himself he owed Serena the respect of not sleeping with another girl in bed/kissing outside of challenges, and he didn’t do that. Also Liv was encouraging the girls to explore connections, but Kendall was overexcited and almost living vicariously through the boys. also the “she’s definitely not Kaylor” comment was mean. it just seemed like he was trying to impress the boys.
In the Love Island universe there are things that are ‘ok’ to do in casa and things that are ‘not ok’. If you want to be respectful to your couple it’s ‘ok’ to kiss in challenges but not outside challenges. It’s a grey area to share a bed but mostly ok if you literally just sleep and don’t hook up. Then the biggest sign of loyalty is sleeping outside. That’s basically signaling you’re closed off.
To add - it also depends some on the level things were at before casa. Like if Miguel had come back single and Leah later found out he’d been kissing people outside challenges she might not be thrilled but I doubt she’d have a meltdown.
This is what I assumed but do the boys know this because it seems like they have a different set of rules-they think they can do whatever and it is fair game to test and they can come back and it will be fine. I’m confused why the boys seem to have this narrative
Welcome to the Fandom. Technically, no one was closed off, so I understand your point of view that the boys didn't do anything wrong. But you have to remember that emotions are heightened, and kissing outside of challenges is a big deal. In my opinion, this is what boys did wrong: Aaron: he didn't close off the relationship, but he started to give hints about using the L word. That's icky. Especially with how sensitive Kaylor is. He was upset about Kaylor not kissing him in that game earlier in the season but turned around and acted a fool in Casa. Kordell: I actually think he's a better match with Daia. But he did too much. I have the same criticism of Serena when she didn't take Kordell's feelings into consideration. Kordell was inconsiderate of Serena. Dry humping was a bridge too far. Kendall: I understand he was trying to be a hype man. But dont sell yourself as the male friend to the girls and then encourage behavior that will hurt them. I'm specifically referring to Aaron/Kaylor. Kenny: He didn't do anything wrong. From what we saw, he was respectful of Jana. Jana is frustrated with her LI journey, so I'll give her grace. Miguel: he's a player, never sold himself as in a relationship. He did nothing wrong. My main gripe is that if the girls were giving even a tenth of energy that the boys were giving, the boys would suddenly understand why doing things in a respectful manner is important. We have seen this in LI UK with Scott/Catherine and Tanya/Shaq. Here's a perfect example of being mindful of your partner. In LI UK s6, Nas and Demi were couple up. They weren't exclusive, but Nas did find a better match in Casa with Eva. He made it clear he wanted to explore with Eva but didn't kiss her outside of challenges until he had an opportunity to break things off with Demi. Of course, Demi feelings were hurt, but Nas was considerate of Demi when he made his decision.
Well said. And thanks to the OP for a great discussion started.
This is the most succinct explanation of the consequences of Casa I've seen, thank you
How to do Casa when you have a strong connection in the villa: See the conversation Kendall, Kordell and Aaron about boundaries and respect (before they left for Casa). How not to do Casa when you have a strong connection in the villa: See footage of them in Casa.
Betrayal is assessed by strength of connections / time spent building that. Some couples \*feel\* like they're a team after 2 days vs. 10 days for example (every dynamic's different ofc). But there's usually some mutual sorta understanding in a couple, about whether they are serious about each other or not. I guess Casa is like saying if you're serious / just want them, so since Aaron and Kaylor had already communicated both verbally and through their actions that they had big feelings - the betrayal was commensurate with that. Hope it makes sense - like yeah there's not literal labels yet, but he's basically communicating that he would be ok with losing her by doing those things, and doesn't care how his actions would make her feel... They should have some gauge on their partner's strength of feeling vs. their own, and be respectful in navigating that.
I wish my husband was as invested in the show as you are! He “watches” with me but is really just scrolling on his phone 😂
LI finally snagged my husband with this amazing season. We're a bit miserable with colds right now and he just said, "At least there's Love Island tonight." (Not saying you should give your husband a cold)
Lol. I'm a single guy who is invested in this show but I also know at the end of the day, it's entertainment. It's like sports.
Mine too!!! LOL
I truly just think that the girls did not get a group of guys that they were interested in. I think they are tired of trying to couple with guys they’re unsure of when their comfort person is 3 days away. Also, recently on IG, the host Arianna said it’s way harder to find quality MEN that are willing to go on this show than women
Because the guys are treating women and connections like objects instead of actual people. It’s fine to test a connection, but I would hope for most people a connection is built off of personality and communication. If they were decent people they could genuinely get to know the casa girls and compare it to their talks and stuff with the villa girls, maybe kiss to see if the chemistry is there after knowing the mental connection is. They have time to be sexual after they’ve communicated clearly w their og partner and are respectful about it being a better match. Instead they lead with their dick and showed everyone that they actually only value women based on their sexual chemistry and/or getting their rocks off is more of a priority to them than not hurting the feelings of the woman they’ve been courting. TLDR: The problem isn’t that they are exploring, it’s that they are treating women as play things rather than real people with feelings.
So Serena took Kordell’s feelings into account when she broke up with him on day 3?
Can you explain how rejecting someone/telling them you just see them as a friend is comparable to knowingly disrespecting and hurting someone just because you are horny? Serena’s actions have showed that she values people for their personality and connection, and respects their time and energy. I’m more sympathetic to Kordell because Daia has been saying all the right things and essentially love bombing him so I can understand how easy it was for him to fold, especially with how uncertain Serena had been towards him and how young he is. But if he was smarter or had any depth to him he would’ve taken the time to really get to know Daia and know if he’s more compatible with her than Serena instead of jumping to being very sexual with her. I don’t get misogynistic vibes from Kordell tho, I think the vibes in Casa were EXTREMELY misogynistic and Kordell is easily influenced. All of the guys were acting like kids in a candy shop instead of grown men in a delicate situation with real people, real feelings, and real consequences.
This. One is transparent and one is not. I think some people see relationships as transactional. You did something I didn’t like so now I get to do it to you back. That’s sad for those who follow that set of rules.
She was honest with him about her feelings at the time. She was guarded. He said he was okay with how she was. She finally started opening up and then it looks like all he wanted was a lad’s holiday anyway. That’s the problem.
Telling someone you aren’t feeling them romantically before they unwittingly get their hopes up is the definition of taking someone else’s feelings into account 🤡
You’re fine the view it that way. I do think some fans get too attached to certain relationships and if they talk to anyone it sort puts a red flag up. That being said most fans can separate and know that everyone should explore casa if that’s what they want to do, especially if they haven’t closed off. It’s about communicating with your current couple though. You can explore new connections and be respectful. It’s the out of mind out of sight mentality that typically the men seem to have that since their partners are not there they will end up kissing or doing more than that outside of challenges, where their partners are being loyal by not crossing boundaries. A huge example of this is Aaron & Kaylor. They’re not closed off at all. That being said Aaron literally told Kaylor that going forward if they’re serious about each other they can’t keep kissing other people. This was mainly directed as her since she kissed Connor on day 3 and then kissed (I forgot who) during a challenge. However since then Aaron as kissed Andrea on a date. Then went around casa kissing Daniela everywhere. Doing his handshake with Kaylor, with Daniela. Kissing in bed etc. this is all extremely disrespectful to Kaylor especially because we know boundaries were placed and he crossed them. So again explore all you want but respect the partnership you’re in, because the men wouldn’t have acted this wild if their partners where also in the villa.
Daniela also said he couldn’t keep his hands to himself in bed
They will roll the tape on that during movie night.
Yes, that's a very good point, especially since it was Aaron that actually initiated the boundaries of no more kissing other people.
It’s the way they went about it, for example all of the girls in strong connections tried to get to know the casa boys in a respectful manner (not kissing outside challenges or dry humping in the bed). Aaron practically told Daniella he loved her and didn’t even come back with her? That kind of thing is not only disrespectful of the girls back in the villa, but the casa girls are basically being treated as pieces of meat. The only ones who were respectful were Kendall and Kenny imo and JaNa’s response to Kenny seemed to be more upset that she wasn’t the first choice again than him exploring options
The men also need to stand up for themselves and their decisions. The only person how kind of defended their choice was Miguel. If you recouple of course the other person will be hurt, they don't owe them silence. These guys are getting dragged partly because they're openly admitting the OG girls are the stronger connections and they want to keep both women. That's not how it works, of course it ends up happening but to have no confidence in your choice is so weak.
This is an excellent point. JaNa asked the right questions with Kenny which should have been asked of all those boys. Explain yourself, none of that low energy stuff. Cause they sure seemed big energy in Casa. I don’t know if it would fully affect how anyone see it but at least it’s more responsive and respectful of both girls. As we’ve been saying, stand on business. OP welcome to the LI club! My husband watches with me and totally gets into it. He loves the drama, especially when Casa is the over.
Right, now there’s two women pissed off instead of one lol they’re just not smart
Then there’s Rob acting as if the girls are being too much. Really sir? Did you not yeet yourself into a pool?
Hey!! so yes, you are correct in the fact that none of them are exclusive in that all of them have the right to explore that connection.On the other hand when you follow the development of their relationship look at where they start and look up where they come from, fans sometimes start to get invested in the “ relationship “. so It becomes extremely disappointing to see how the men are acting in Casa because it makes you look back and wonder were their feelings ever genuine or true for the girls in the villa. On the other hand the reason people are irritated with Kendall is because he is grown deep friendships with some of the girls… so why would he want to contribute to the destruction of their coupling KNOWING how this would affect some of the girls. On top of that is comment on how “kaylor is no daniela” was simply just rude and distasteful especially when he’s friends with and knows kaylor more.
he didn't say "kaylor is no daniela", he said "that boy is like this is not kaylor"
Ohhh ok must’ve got what he said mixed up with what Kaylor thought was said
yeah I don't think he said anything explicitly mean about her, it was more just that he wasn't looking out for her feelings in that moment.
Correct. I think he was narrating what was going on in Aaron's head but it was still a crass comment.
Right he was giddy and saw as 🍿 entertainment. Which im sure it was but when you see Kaylor as a real person and are friends with her, the level of giddiness without the empathy, without any mixed feelings-came across as callous
I agree, it did come across as callous. I hope he sits down with the og girls and apologizes. First he should apologize to Nicole, tell her what went on and then apologize to the girls. He could have hyped the boys up in a measured way and at the same time told them to be mindful and reasonable. I think he got swept up in the spectacle and drama of it all :/.
He could redeem himself. We shall see.
I agree with you about the couples and Casa Amor. Only Aaron and Kaylor had said they were closed off. Aaron also was cruel to do the secret handshake and shower kissing with Daniela because Kaylor will see these in Movie Night. I also agree with your opinions on Kendall and Live. Congratulations on your new child!
Yes good point the hand shake reflected so much. It was just like he let his mask slip and you could insert any girl in his lust and nothing would be sacred
Perhaps Aaron and Kordell should not have made promises to sleep outside and not kiss outside of challenges? They both laid on the loyalty really thick and then ran off to Casa with a gas can in one hand and a book of matches in the other. Daniella even called it out to Kendall that Aaron was saying he and Kaylor were strong and that he was going to remain loyal, but that his actions were saying the opposite. They were blatantly dishonest. If they weren't sure they could follow through (or never had any intention of doing so), then they should not have laid it on so thick. It's not like they just forgot to sleep outside and not kiss outside of challenges. Both Aaron and Kordell were basically trying to steal home on their first night in Casa. If they wanted to remain open, then it's perfectly fine to try and get to know a person if it feels like there is mutual attraction. If after getting to know one another, there appears to be an actual connection, sure maybe share a kiss or two to see if there is any physical chemistry. Then, keep it chill and respectful before returning with your new connection. If the new connection is that strong, then I'm pretty sure it will survive without the dry humping and a recycled "secret" handshake. I'd love for Aaron and Kordell to be put on the spot. Please ask them what they know about Daniella and Daia beyond the superficial questions like favorite color, food, or where they live/grew up. What do they admire, respect, and love about Daniella and Daia that make them better connections? I bet they can't. They each both treated Casa like it was a bachelor party in Vegas. Except Casa is the opposite of Vegas. If what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas, as the saying goes, then we all equally know that what happens in Casa gets aired on movie night for all to see.
First of all, it’s not a dumb question. If we are talking about the boys in general, you’re right they are doing what the point of the show is. My only problem is Aaron - while they weren’t bf/gf they were practically saying they loved each other and talking about meeting each other’s families. He switched up so quick and was pretty disrespectful and manipulative when he came to the recouping, saying “what did you see!?” and “it’s a 1 minute clip” Kordell on the other hand, even though I love and support Serena, he may just have a way better match with Daia. As far as the other guys, if you are going to bring a girl back from Casa, do so with confidence. I felt so bad for the Casa girls after hearing the guys say they were just testing the waters. They deserve better than that! If I was Catherine I would have walked away. Kenny clearly doesn’t like her that much he was just afraid JaNa found someone else. So to answer your question: Aside from Aaron the boys didn’t do anything “wrong” they are just being wishy washy with their choices. It’s just disappointing as women (who are the majority of viewers) to see that men can forget about you so quickly if you aren’t right in front of them.
Also Aaron was so over the top gaga about Daniella. So first he was all l word about Kaylor then boom he acted like Kaylor didn’t exist. He was gushing and at one point said he wasn’t thinking about Kaylor and he seemed like he was going to explode with lust and then BOOM he is like ok going back to Kaylor and then arranges and green lights the girl to come back with Rob. That’s just a lot
I actually think that Kaylor's reaction to the video was way over the top and unreasonable... but if she had seen what ACTUALLY happened, it was an appropriate response. When the girls "explored connections" it was conversations, maybe a short kiss. Maybe they cuddled in bed, but the ones with stronger couples pre-casa slept outside or made barriers in the bed. That's how you explore respectfully. Having sex, talking about love, etc etc is not respectful.
When you know, you know. She had the women’s intuition because she knows he’s a flirt. She could feel it so when she saw the clip, she knew.
100%
Also does anyone know how we can find out the length of tonight’s episode before it airs? I’m thrown off that some are ~60 min and the other night’s ep was ~1:30
The last one was a bit different. They had so much to show and thankfully didn’t want to leave us hanging. Casa recoupling is a big event. This one was rather unique with so many different things going on. I don’t think there is a way to know prior but maybe someone else knows a way.
Thank you!! I have to say, I loved the longer episode lol
TBH, I agree with you, unless someone has a really strong connection then they should be more respectful with kissing and humping. I don't see a problem with how Kordell moved. He finally got attention that he deserved. Homegirl jumped on top of him in the morning. In the real world if you're not exclusive you can do whatever you want. If a guy/girl says their open that's what they are. There's no "respectful cheating", unless you give them the courtesy of not doing it in their face. Kissing only I'm challenges is dumb because you don't really know if you like someone until you kiss them in a regular intimate setting. Cher did say "It's In His Kiss". Sleeping in a bed with someone is not weird. You can share a bed without making out with someone unless you can't control yourself. I hate when the girls sleep outside and don't give themselves a chance to explore. The women don't get tested like the men. I want them to bring some real bombshells like a Miguel where all of the women were grabbing him to talk to him.
Casa Amor isnt a hall pass for you to kiss and dry hump every casa girl. That was not normal behavior for casa it was thee most disrespectful casa ever. Kissing and humping outside of challenges are not ok at all an in the UK you would get shamed to hell for it. It not only showed the lack of respect for their couple but also of themselves. Why do people think LOVE island is all about lust!? This was not normal casa behavior at all it was really gross to even watch. All the guys give me the ick now.
Yes it is, if the roles were reversed the girls would do the same.
There have been seasons where the girls have been wilder in Casa.
In my opinion, the only one who did bad is Aaron. It’s about how strong the couple is going into casa. I don’t think the other boys were in strong enough couples to warrant not exploring the way they did. Even for Aaron, it would’ve been fine if he flirted but he took it too far for where he and Kaylor were going And, if someone does actually find someone they want to switch to (ie kordell) that’s exactly the point of the show. Idk why people here are mad about them just playing the game the show creates for them. Everyone is saying Serena clearly cared for him because she was sleeping outside but we also know the casa men were not it, no one was interested in him. If she had anyone of interest, she’d have done the same thing and we’d all be happy for kordell finally having someone who’s actually into him
Not so about Serena and Kordell. She let all of her walls down and told him that she really liked him and was truly into him, and they actually got very intimate in and out of bed the night before he went off to Casa.
As others have said, it's how you go about it. Aaron lovebombed Kaylor and was also jealous. There were more expectations for Kaylor that he would be thoughtful. Not all over the next girl like she is just a sex object. I think Kordell is less in the wrong, because Serena was lukewarm for the prior weeks. She reminded him frequently including that embarrassing dance challenge that they are open. I'm not fully surprised that he enjoyed meeting a new girl but he could have restrained himself physically. Hormones. I feel sorry for Serena's feelings but I think Serena is more concerned about being publicly embarrassed.
The 5 stages of love island lmao, never seen that before
Listen, talk is cheap. You can say "oh we're not closed off", but if the couple has been together since day 1, you're telling each other you're falling in love with each other, you give each other love tokens, you're being physically intimate beyond kissing... y'all are closed off to anyone with any hint of intelligence, regardless of if you've said it or not. Obviously. Also couple time in the villa is different than couple time in the outside world, simply because they're together 24/7. If we go off the UK model, filming lasts 8 weeks, so a couple that's been together two weeks in the villa has been together 25% of the time. So that's like...3-4 months to me if we make the 8 weeks equal to a year on the outside. So casa typically happens at the halfway point. And if you're in a couple that's been together four of the 8 weeks, that's basically six months. And again, regardless of if you're "closed off" or not, it's very clear if you've been with someone half the time of filming, y'all are extremely solid. So the expectation is you won't be moving mad in casa. At least, that used to be the expectation. For some reason shit changed around...series 7? Of LIUK. And not in a good way. But that's for another post.
I think half of the frustration lies in the fact that most of the boys are saying how great the connection is, to the point that the girls start to believe it, and then deviate first chance they get. If they were honest about liking them but not being all in then the girls could carry on in Casa too. It isn’t fair to say what they are saying and have the girls sit out their cass experience while the boys keep them on the back burner.
Typically one can “explore” connections. Like talking and flirting. It’s kind of a Love Island no no to be kissing people you’re not in a couple with if it hasn’t been communicated you’re both open. Definitely not more than kissing. Each day in there is like a week without outside anything and 24/7 on top of each other. So, when you see a couple lasting weeks, consider it serious.
I think the most succinct answer to your question is that you're just supposed to be very open and honest about your feelings, and then act accordingly. For instance if you're sending every possible signal that you're on the absolute verge of confessing total love for someone than don't act like they don't exist in casa (aaron). There are no hard rules, but in general it's common sense stuff about not acting out of pocket. Another example is Kordell acting like he's only got eyes for Serena to the point that he leaves for casa saying he's not gonna even be kissing anyone, then he turns around and glues himself to the first girl that likes him by the end of the first day. As supporting evidence for this way of looking at it, nobody cares about what Miguel is doing because none of his relationships are in a serious stage and he is being fairly open about everything he's doing
kordell and aaron themselves set standards for themselves before they went into casa and then ignored them. they said they were going to respect their connection because they have real feelings for their girls and that they weren't going to kiss or touch outside of a challenge and would sleep outside out of respect for their girls. just to not do any of that the second they got into casa, THATS what they did wrong, miguel made no promises and acted exactly how we thought he would (actually a lot better than i thought he would tbh) kendall was a shit stirrer but he still respected his connection with nicole while in casa, rob is just a producer plant, and kenny just 🧍♂️ and then showed up with a casa girl who looked equally confused about being picked because he was insecure that jana was going to recouple because their relationship was only three days old if a guy can't even follow his own rules that he sets for himself then how can a partner trust that he'd respect boundaries that they set?
It’s dumb they set those rules to begin with but it doesn’t really matter- they didn’t tell their partner and then break that promise. Nothing of the sort was discussed. I agree Aaron was shady but not for that reason
Well two of the men promised they weren’t gonna kiss someone (outside of challenges) and they both ended up doing more than that soooo
Yeah that was bad. Homeboys shouldn't have said that.
The 5 stages made me HONK with laughter….. 1 2 3 4 VOTING 🤌🏻 welcome to hell (from a British love island millenial fan that watched all even the original in the 2000s!)
The boys did nothing wrong at casa amor, people who disagree are delusional. It's like they expect them to go to casa and not enjoy themselves.
Because you don’t need to have your tongue down someone’s throat and dry hump to “explore connections”. Exploring connections should be talking and getting to know eachother and I’m not talking sexually. The girls were encouraging to explore connections by getting to know them. This just goes to show how different women and men’s brains work. Exploring connections for girls mean opening up and getting to know someone. Exploring connections for boys = dry humping and trying to get in someone’s pants
Welcome to one of the biggest flip flopping fan bases out there. The same people who were hating on Serena 2 weeks ago are now hating on Kordell and saying she’s a queen. People have amnesia or something, it’s odd
You’re right that none of them are in exclusive committed relationships. no one has asked anyone to be their girlfriend and no one is even closed off yet. the purpose of casa amor for islanders not closed off yet is to explore other connections. however some people have decided that Kordell somehow cheated on Serena when neither of them believed they were in a relationship. some of the audience just seems a bit confused.
I’ll put it this way: ask your wife if before you were official, if she would’ve thought it was wrong of you to wear *her* ring while being physical with another woman. It’s not what they did, it’s how they did it
Kordell is not tied to Serena
No one said he was. Again, it’s not what he did it’s how he did it. He moved shitty and made choices he knew would hurt her. Read the comments l, few people care he found someone else
She did this to herself, if she didn't keep playing with him he wouldn't have done this.
K cool
Okay that's not a good analogy. First off, love Island is a tv show/game show for entertainment purposes.
‘Before you were official’ I think it’s a great analogy
As a women, I 100% agree and had the same opinion. People advocate for the girls girl but when the boys do the same thing, they get scrutinized. At the end of the day, every single one of these islanders remained open for casa. So the outrage is a little much.