After one month of use the head of my penis has become so sensitive that I can use it to read braille

you ever get caught putting your password in by the cameras at the ATM?

But can you come in four strokes? Also does your brother believe you?

He believes me now

The first sponsor, the greatest sponsor

I thought the first sponsor was solar panels

Fracking i think

Pretty sure it was Dong Wax.

Gotta stack with Matt’s dong wax

I’m not getting ring worm 🪱 or what ever happened to the shamans dong

Manhood Canada era is so fucking iconic bro

I tried it, on god. I wore it for maybe 3 days before I said fuck it. Couldn’t get over wearing a cape on my dick

Please call in next time they do that for paytch. I have so many questions.

Don't tell anyone but i wear a cape pretty often. After i piss i don't want to worry about the left over drops that come out over the next couple minutes, so i wrap toilet paper around my dick into what i refer to as "**cocoon dick**" and it usually falls out after a while on its own. It's biodegradable so if it happens outside its fine as long as nobody notices

Buddy get your prostate checked if it’s minutes after lol or stop doing adderall

Well you know what i mean. You're not emptying 100% of your piss at the urinal no matter how many kegels you're doing

>You're not emptying 100% of your piss at the urinal We are though, after a shake. We're worried about you bro.

Why are you guys afraid to admit you've got piss in your underwear? There's no shame in it, but there is shame in pretending you don't

I only have piss in my underwear if I lazily don’t shake or sit there and let it dribble out for like 3 seconds after. Brother, if your still leaking during your walk away from the urinal or like throughout the day and your not 40 (at which point you already got checked) go fucking get your prostate checked lol

Wait hold up do I really need my prostate checked if this happens? Dawgs to the rescue. I’ll let you guys know if I have cancer

Yes. It’s not cancer emergency, usually But if you’re under 40 and you’re dribbling that much where you need toilet paper often or it dribbles throughout the day that’s not good. If a good shake or sitting there for like 10 seconds doesn’t drain the dregs then it’s def worth checking broski

I was 27 when I told my doctor about my piss dribbling out after going to the bathroom. He actually didn't even check my prostate, he referred me to a penis doctor who checked my penis and said it's all good.

Bro you know can just give it a shake right?

Karate chop to the perineum and all the drips are gone.

That's not a 100% guarantee you're getting all that piss. I'm not leaving room for error

Thats called gonorrhea.

Matt even gave up on it. Iirc his teenis got to sensitive

*velcro sound*

“This is what Brittany hears every time I go to the bathroom.”

It's like sticking your cock in a warm tub of inviting butter

now you know why the Europeans are such sensitive folks.

As an uncirc I support the dawgs in this fight

I told some of the dudes in my med school class about this lol big mistake they were not dawgz

Same I told all the bros in my rocket science class.

The engineering department is loving it however

Hahah stfu 😂 I deserve that

Yea but it just made me cum all the time. Walking down the street. Cum. Ride my bike. Cum. Shit, one time at work we were having a sexual harassment in the workplace seminar and as I got up to the stage, cum.

The nerves need to be dulled with the Semitic slice so we don't all line the streets with slippy sauce

Thanks for the laugh dawg. That one really got me.

Brought my own

Are these condoms or something? Pardon my ignorance, I’ve never fuckd

They are for reclaiming your manhood, what has been lost, what has been taken from you

Hath been

Returns your sensitivity to what it would’ve been had you never been cut. What animal needs to crumb even quicker?

Have a built-in one already.

Not to brag but let’s just say I don’t need it

Jackets on no matter the weather 💪

collar up, hoes down

do you also tell your gf you need to have a boner in the shower just to make sure you clean it properly.

I’m sorry this happened to you.

I'm glad my mom loved me enough to not mutilate my tenis. 

This was the first sponsor and only og old test dudes remember how this totally absorbed Matt’s whole time and thought

Okay so.. thank you for introducing this to me. This might be the first day of the rest of my life

bold of them to assume my shlong can fit in these

Bold of them to assume my tenis is big enough to wear these. Too much hood, not enough man

Manual tugging+tight underwear is pretty good. Don't think I could pull the trigger on a manhood. 

Uncut but wear one in solidarity.

What do I do with all the extra room?

More layers

I’m wearing gods manhood thanks papa for not chopping up my bits 😎

Classic ep

foreskin restoration works better imo

They did such a shit job on mine. There's some extra skin and the bridging and scarring. It's scary how they can use their religious beliefs to pass

I'm sorry to hear that, but it's no different to a disfugured model. Your scars are beautiful. One day your dick will be on the front cover of Vogue.

Thanks bro I'm hoping to be woman of the year

It’s a hood for your manhood, your bloody manhood

I did/have. They actually do make my dickhead feel silky when I take them off. They tend to slip off over time if you do physical work. I would wear them more except it's annoying to have to readjust them when they come off and wash them all the time. They can make your dick pretty scmeggy if not washed enough. 

Is this really what it looks like? Maybe you yanks should just like, stop mutilating your dicks or something?

No I have a foreskin because my parents aren’t retards

wtf is this gay shit for. Serious question

It’s not gay to want a sensitive teenis

Matt?

Non American here, it's so weird you guys get in on the whole choppin bits of your dick off

It’s a Jewish thing. Jews control America and the weather

And Hollywood also what i eat sometimes

It's weird that you guys across the pond enjoy shmegma and marmelite on your toast

you sayin god was wrong bruh?

My favorite part of the Bible is when God tells David to go gather a pile of foreskins from the unfaithful tribes! Legend We left your dang country to avoid religious persecution, BRUV.

It's been a cultural prerequisite to manhood for millennia, to endure, to grow and eventually thrive. What is your cultural rite of passage coward?

Not making a pact with Jew satan.

Now I’m happy to be circumcised if I know it annoys the euros

New Zyn Teenis pouches just dropped? Hell yeah.

They don’t make one my size.

I’m an avid user of DONGWAX™️

Manhood Canada

I don’t get what it does.

Wait is it just a bag for your Dick?

I once overheard my mom telling other moms the the midwife messed up my circ and had to redo it.

I would only buy a manhood if I could be assured it was designed in tandem with native artists and not manufactured by colonizers