As someone that randomly finds 10mm sockets, i feel really lucky.
* Buys a car, finds a 10mm in the door
* dismantels trunk, finds a 10mm
* Buys a car, finds a 10mm in the seat mounting points
* Works on the street, rolling onto something hard and painfull, hating my life choices, finds a 10mm
and then there is the one time my dad pointet a random 7mm out, laying in my car.
on the otherside nuts really hate me, if i drop a nut its probably gone. Dont know whats worse loosing 10mm or nuts
Yeah, don't know how, but it is ALWAYS the 10mm that seems to vanish... I don't even do much work, just my car when I had one, and only when something HAD to be fixed, but that 10mm that was used on EVERYTHING in that car was always missing...
I certainly don't turn one for a living, but I knew a few people that do or have, and I've turned one as an amateur myself. I'm familiar with concrete soluble 10mm sockets.
"To my son, I leave the 10mm socket wedged in the abyss between the driver seat and the center console. Also the other 10mm socket sitting in the engine bay for the last 5000 miles"
I know it's a cliche, but those things disappear if you so much as sneeze.
So I bought 50. A whole coffee can worth. Not cheap ones either, Koken. About $6 each.
A junkyard to take care of and a 4 rig diesel garage built in the 50's or 60s, with about a gajillion dollars worth of old tools and equipment.
I hope he outlives me.
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Reminds me of when my brother and sister both realized they were getting my dad spatulas for Christmas. Both of them were getting these nice looking ones that were on the expensive side for spatulas. So my sister was like “make sure you get him something else.” Well fuck that, I understand my dad. AND the Walmart I worked at at the time was selling these metal spatulas for 25 CENTS each on clearance, left over from the summer grilling stuff that they ordered WAY too much of. Spent like $50 on these fucking spatulas, and then I started having fun. I know my dad enjoys the act of unwrapping something, so I found different boxes and containers to put them in. Also threw in some books to make it more interesting, he doesn’t know if it’s a book or a spatula. Christmas came around and he got to my gifts to him and went “I like seeing all these gifts, but I swear if there’s one more spatula in this I’m gonna lose it.” Had to hide my shit eating grin as I handed him the big box of all the spatulas I couldn’t get into other containers. He kept most of them but I actually ended up with the box, not entirely sure how
One time my sister and I realized we had bought the same exact card for my dad. So we had the great idea to write the same exact message in each card. Then we mailed them out to him. It was pretty funny. The message was also very well thought out and not generic in the slightest.
We do a similar thing to my mother each Christmas.
We'll pick a cheaper item and buy multiples of them - it's been fly swats, gardening gloves, spatulas, pots, hand warmers etc. They're then distributed to other family members, and all wrapped in our own style, paper and of course, various packaging sizes. It obviously doesn't take her long to figure out which gift is her multiple item for the year - but the real goal is to see if, 9 items in, she can open something without clueing into the contents until she pulls it out.
It's good entertainment each year - though I think she dreads it.
For Christmas put one inside a clear epoxy cube for him, then on his birthday have a set of cuff links made from them.
This will carry the joke on but put a bit of effort in too.
Do one 7/16th but make it so that it doesn't actually do anything. Just have it short and threaded into a hole that doesn't do anything... With locktite at least.
How about...
Putting one inside a "Break Glass in Case of Emergency" red painted boxes, and have another one permanently attached to a chain as the hammer?
Two wrenches, one gag
He's a good dude, with a big heart, and loves to joke and tease as much as I do. Life is short, and if it costs me 70 bucks a year to show him how much I love him and to have an "inside" joke that everyone gets a kick out of, it's the tiniest of prices to pay.
I find this hilarious, don’t get me wrong. But as a father myself, I would be sad knowing my son will only ever give me the same present for every occasion. I would try to apologise for my mistake, as yours did, and if that didn’t work, I wouldn’t get upset. I would play along but deep down I would feel sadness for the missed opportunities to get something from my son, any knick knack that I would keep as my dearest treasure.
I don’t know you nor your father, so sorry if I’m intruding.
Never intruding, you're just not seeing the spirit of it.
It's not the only gift he gets; I don't even consider it a gift. This year he got a good set of tow-strap tie-downs, a $100 dollar gift card to Harbor Freight, a bulk pack of red Twizzlers because he's old as balls and considers that "candy", and tucked underneath and attached to the frame?
The wrench.
Think of it like a bow on a present :)
My dad’s a contractor. One year his garage door needed replaced, and he thought “Meh, standard opening.” and ordered the replacement without measurements.
It was way, way, way, way, way, too small.
Did we all get him tape measures for years afterward? You’re goddamn right.
A friend of ours has the running gag-gift joke with his FIL.
Tape measures... The odder the better.
Left-handed, Right-handed, Blind Man's (very large numbers) and the most favourite has been the [Story Tape](https://www.leevalley.com/en-ca/shop/tools/hand-tools/marking-and-measuring/tapes/65359-lee-valley-story-tape?item=99W7850) that lacks any markings.
Fox Sr. could never find a tape measure. We got him the neon ones so they would be easier to find on the bench, but even those ended up in odd and inconvenient places. The solution: [Crappy Ikea tape measures](https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/fixa-tape-measure-40237557/) that were $1 each at one point. I bought about 30 of them and scattered them everywhere. Years later we can still find one when we need it.
Did this to my husband with nail clippers. He “borrows” mine and loses them every time. So I bought him a tub of 100 last Christmas. (He thought it was hilarious and useful.)
I'm a bra fitter, and I don't use measuring tapes as a general rule because I don't find them more accurate than eyeball and trial and error. There are at least a dozen tape measures I've received from work, enforced by higher ups who think the tape measure looks good and doesn't care that we all think they suck, scattered all around my house. Sure does make measuring my knitting easy though.
Sorry to do this, but the disingeuous dealings, lies, overall greed etc. of leadership on this website made me decide to edit all but my most informative comments to this.
Come join us in the fediverse! (beehaw for a safe space, kbin for access to lots of communities)
My dad died three years ago and I was having some feels this week about the fact that I’d never get him another Father’s Day gift. This wonderfully written story was exactly what I needed today. Thank you, internet stranger, and may the tradition of that 7/16 wrench live on for many more years.
Actually, OP should probably solicit here to have them sent from “7/16 Society” members all over the world, to arrive for dear ol’ Dad around Father’s Day. Imagine the look on his face when he opens a package from Guam, Australia, Qatar…and it’s a 7/16 wrench from that country’s chapter president.
I borrowed a Halfords (UK) socket set from a friend - 1/2" drive, combination metric & imperial sizes.
When I got round to opening & using it the next day, lo & behold, the 11/16ths socket was missing.
Asked my mate if he had it at his house, but naturally he didn't.
Being a conscientious pal, I nipped onto ebay &, thankfully found a Halfords 1/2" drive 11/16ths socket there... bought it for a few quid.
While I knew it would never affect our friendship, I was damned if that set wasn't going back with every space filled!
Haha, known him for 30+ years and would happily gift him a whole new set! He's been there through all my high's & low's with encouragement & wise advice.
Being able to re-complete his set feels like such a minor nod, compared to how grateful I am for such friendship :)
I replaced my dad's garage door opener last fall. This spring he asked me about the remote. I told him I remember giving it to him in the garage when I was finishing up on the door, but I wasn't sure after 7-8 months. He gave me a ration of crap about it, saying he looked all over and he claimed I never gave it to him. I didn't argue, but he told me to buy a new remote and get it connected and he would pay me, so I did. He still gave me a bit of crap about it from time to time.
This late spring I was at his house looking for something and open the junk drawer in the kitchen. I was digging around and what the heck, there was the remote. Obviously I did give it to him and he just dropped it in the junk drawer and forgot about it. (He is in his 90's so I guess it is forgivable. Any way I knew he was outside so I walked outside. He was in the yard in view of the garage door. I walked up and said, "Look what I found!" and opened the garage door with the remote. He looked at me and asked what I had and I pointed to the door and closed it while he was looking that way and then I handed him the remote. I told him where I found it and he didn't say much. I gave him a bit of crap that I had not been certain I gave it to him, but was about 75% sure I had. He mentioned that my memory was obviously better than his!
Oh, absolutely. I love in-jokes. Best part? I always get him real gifts too - so the wrench is now just expected. So one year, I taped it to the inside lid of a huge tub of caramel corn and didn't mention it.
He looked through his gifts, and when no one was watching, he started going through wrappers, boxes, etc - thinking he missed it. When no wrench appeared? He actually looked SAD.
So I said "Dad - can I have some of that caramel corn?"
He opened it, and saw it taped under the lid, and beamed ear-to-ear like a little kid. "I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GOING TO FORGET!"
It's just a known thing now with the family, and MY kids will continue it, god forbid I pass first.
Even in death? I will not lose the wrench game.
Our family bought many glasss measuring jugs for mum, after one kid moved out & took hers with them, and never heard the end of it.
She quietly passed on the extra ones to her women's group friends.
She was always the one to spread a little happiness wherever she went.
A little family has rented a room from me for the past couple of years; they stay because they can't afford their own place. Since times are tough, the father does odd jobs around the house, in exchange for low rent.
This year they welcomed a new baby to the family, right around Mother's Day, so we didn't have a party or social gathering while mom was recovering. Come Father's Day, and dad wants to rebuild a fence- I'm all for it, so gift him with a Dewalt cordless circular saw.
Naturally, I felt a little guilty that I'd gotten the father an expensive present, but hadn't done much for the mother. So, I told them; the saw was a 'Welcome' gift to the new baby girl! If they were good, maybe the baby would let them borrow it.
This is one of those things that'll inadvertently prevent a blackout on the eastern seabord or save the Space Station or something. Like the Kodak Film Nuclear Scandal.
Some scientist somewhere will be like, "All the plankton in the ocean will die unless we can compare steel variants in consumer products going back 20 years. But who would have a collection of the same item, manufactured in the same way, in sufficient quantity so as to--"
"Let me stop you there. I know a guy with a wrench collection."
"That wrench collection is about to save the World."
Edit: Link below.
this isn't funny anymore. I needed a 7/16 ratchet end set. my dad taught me craftsman are the best, and I can't find 1 here.
what's your father's address maybe he can "lend" me 1
"...coming from a long line of mechanics, I knew he's have one available as I didn't have my kit in my car..."
Dude, ya broke the first rule of coming from a long line of mechanics.
Get him an adjustable wrench next time to switch it up and make him think he got something else. Set it to 7/16th and lock it in place with J.B. Weld. I'm sure he'll laugh when he goes to adjust it.
I don't remember how it started, but I give my dad duct tape every birthday and holiday. But not just any duct tape. My goal is to give him duct tape that he absolutely will not use. Lol. It's been at least a decade and he has yet to not use the duct tape I've given him.
lol
Yeah. He's admitted he was teasing, he's told me that I can stop (I know he secretly loves it), and he thinks it's a huge waste of money...
But for like 70 bucks a year?
I can remind him that I play to win :D
Back when I was a teenager one of my friends had a father who hated shopping. He would traditionally only go Christmas shopping on Dec 24, starting at 6 PM. As such he was always in a mad rush, and would just sweep up whatever random stuff he could find.
One year in January she complained to us, in a quite indignant tone, that on Christmas morning she rushed down the stairs and the first thing that she saw was a spatula sticking out of her stocking. She went on and on about how terrible it was that her father thought that a spatula would make a great Christmas gift for a 16 year old girl.
And that's when a plan was hatched.
You see her birthday was in February, and we all made a vow together. On her birthday every one of us presented her with a spatula. She had all kinds of spatulas, wrapped in every conceivable manner. Every present that she opened was another spatula.
Of course she vowed revenge. Every birthday from then on she would gift each one of us with a spatula.
And that's how a tradition was born.
Soon the spatulas were flying back and forth between our entire group. Birthday? You get a spatula. Christmas? Spatula time. And who can forget the traditional graduation spatula.
It was glorious.
And guys, I have so many spatulas now. I have them in every colour. I have them in every size. Comically oversized spatulas? I have 3. Comically undersized spatulas, probably intended for doll houses? They're more of a foot hazard than legos are. Ever hear of the [Malaysian Battle Spatula](https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=540)? I have one. How about a [Hydro-Dynamic Spatula](https://spongebob.fandom.com/wiki/Hydro-dynamic_spatula) with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive? Well, I haven't actually received on of those yet, but I just know that it's a matter of time.
The tradition has spread to my kids. Every Christmas they get a spatula in their stockings. every Christmas I get three.
You've probably heard of rick-rolling? Around my house we "[Spatula City](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpsMGpMIqNk)" roll each other. By the way, if you haven't already seen the movie UHF featuring Weird Al Yankovic, you should.
Now if only I could get a slotted spoon.
My uncle put my grandfsthers favorite tool in his hand right before the casket was closed, you need to take a 7/16 wrench to the funeral and make sure its in your dad's hand before they close his so you can get the last laugh.
Nana in the hospital and his son shows up with a bouquet of ribbon wrapped wrenches.
I love this so much. My grandpa would be delighted call me a pain in the ass and probably toss a wrench my way.
When I was about 14 my dad misplaced a 7/16” wrench. We joked about it for years but moved on. A replacement was bought and life went on. About 15 years later he bought a truck from the estate of a friend. We had done a bit of work to the truck over the years. While stripping it for parts we pulled the motor. Stuck in the oil and dirt on the front suspension crossmember was that very 7/16” wrench. Apparently we, not sure which of us, had let it fall down under the engine while working on it. But it came back and is still in my dad’s toolbox. It is a little rusty but works fine.
Not to be morbid, but when he does go to the big garage in the sky (hopefully many years from now), you’re gonna cry every time you see a 7/16ths wrench.
That’s why I printed out a T-shirt one year, he’s a mechanic, so no real jewelry, no necklaces, and instead of hands he has these big manly catcher’s mitts, so the rings don’t work either.
But wrenches? Oh he’s getting wrenches.
Make sure you have someplace to gift those wrenches to, because at some point you know you're going to be inheriting them. Also, time to take it up a notch, as at this point there's no way he's keeping tabs on all of them. Start regifting him the ones you've already given. See how long until he catches on that his collection isn't growing any more.
You don't know the half of it.
Every year on his birthday I ask "What do you want?" His big, gruff mechanic ass says "Oh, I dunno> Pink tutu".
I have pics, of this tough, red neck mother fucker, in a tutu, because I told him "Say it again, and I'm getting you one."
To his credit? He wore it and danced for the grandkids.
You are a man of taste with excellent companions to boot.
...when your dad finally goes--hopefully far in the future--you're gonna put one of those wrenches into his hand before the coffin closes, aren't you?
My family has a similar tradition haha I'm not 100% positive of the exact origin because I try to stay out of it, but it's remotes in my family. I know it started with my aunt (moms sister) and if I remember correctly she first got a shadow box containing the remote that started it all. Since then the collection has grown exponentially. This started when they were teenagers and they're both over 50 now. Every single remote no longer in use has been collected. They have networked to collect remotes. And they hide them around each others houses when they visit one another. I don't know what the last count was, but my mom got the last strike. My grandparents were still finding remotes a year after her visit a few years back. To this day I don't know if they've found them all. There's also a couple of decorative plates that somehow ended up involved. Its crazy how competitive they get with it though. Hence why I try to stay as far out of it as humanly possible.
My old man was a policemen for 5yrs and a truck driver for 25yrs. He wouldn’t let me drive truck because “it was to hard on a family” so I did the next best thing and became a truck and heavy equipment mechanic, well he always tinkered and “fixed on stuff” and had a toolbox that had everything you needed but was mostly disorganized and sure enough it was always “us kids” that lost his un-organized tools. Well being a professional diesel mechanic my $15k toolbox and $50k worth of tools was ORGANIZED so one Christmas I decided that once and for all I was going to buy racks and organizers and find or buy every tool “we” ever lost. I get thru organizing and replacing lost tools and made the deadline of surprising him for Christmas… He gave me a simple “Thanks Jr.” 🤦♂️ …
One week later at New Years he complains that I messed up his toolbox and he can’t find a thing!!! Sure enough all the racks and organizers are in a neat pile next to his box!! I’m PISSED!! I go to confront him and he says “ the good thing Jr. is that I found a few tools you had lost 😁😁😁😁
God damnit Dad !!! I love you and miss you Pops RIP.
I linked my wife to this and she immediately was like "He's clearly at the point where he could take one from his dad, regift it, and his dad wouldn't know"
Since you're presumably single-handedly driving up the eBay cost on these, I'm inclined to agree with her! :)
Sounds like when my father said, "A man can always use another hammer." Every holiday for the next ten years. There is an entire wall of hammers in his garage now.
Great story and I have two things I’d like to share with you:
1. Hell exclusively uses 1/2 bolts so the 7/16 will make it that much more Hellish for him.
2. I still have my Dad’s 50+ year old wrenches and it’s nice to think of him every time I use one since he’s no longer with us. There are multiple of every size, but not a damn 7/16 (or 10mm) so if y’all want to bequest one in his memory that’d be great.
My dad made the mistake of saying “I don’t want anything” whenever we asked about gift giving holidays. So, he got a bottle of Old Spice for every single one for the better part of a decade until he finally started coming up with gift ideas.
Gee. I wonder what he's leaving you in his will.
Probably a 10mm. At least my dad would.
"And to my smartassed son who lost my 7/16" ratchet end wrench, I bequeath all of my 10mm sockets...if he can find them."
I laughed really hard at this....then went to go make sure my 10mm sockets were safe
As someone that randomly finds 10mm sockets, i feel really lucky. * Buys a car, finds a 10mm in the door * dismantels trunk, finds a 10mm * Buys a car, finds a 10mm in the seat mounting points * Works on the street, rolling onto something hard and painfull, hating my life choices, finds a 10mm and then there is the one time my dad pointet a random 7mm out, laying in my car. on the otherside nuts really hate me, if i drop a nut its probably gone. Dont know whats worse loosing 10mm or nuts
That explains where all mine go… They really should just sell 10mm sockets by the lb.
Yeah, don't know how, but it is ALWAYS the 10mm that seems to vanish... I don't even do much work, just my car when I had one, and only when something HAD to be fixed, but that 10mm that was used on EVERYTHING in that car was always missing...
I’d be damned sure you turn wrench for a living.
I certainly don't turn one for a living, but I knew a few people that do or have, and I've turned one as an amateur myself. I'm familiar with concrete soluble 10mm sockets.
Gonna have to remember concrete soluble at work tomorrow
And a boot to the head.
"And one for Jenny and the wimp."
Let's educate our youth. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfMcxmOBmpk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfMcxmOBmpk)
"To my son, I leave the 10mm socket wedged in the abyss between the driver seat and the center console. Also the other 10mm socket sitting in the engine bay for the last 5000 miles"
Funny - I was just thinking if I got a 10mm wrench every year I'd be happy. (I'm outside the US, so most bolts are metric)
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In the us there’s a lot of metric buildouts
I know it's a cliche, but those things disappear if you so much as sneeze. So I bought 50. A whole coffee can worth. Not cheap ones either, Koken. About $6 each.
Just don't sneeze around that coffee can. Sure would be a shame if you managed to lose 50 at once...
A year's supply. Nice!
Can’t will away what doesn’t exist
Oh good, I seem to always lose the 10mm.
A junkyard to take care of and a 4 rig diesel garage built in the 50's or 60s, with about a gajillion dollars worth of old tools and equipment. I hope he outlives me.
Please ensure that your will has a provision where he continues to receive wrenches long after you pass.
A trust set up specifically for the purchase and delivery of craftsman 7/16th wrenches
Don't forget the note "I promised the rest of YOUR natural life, Not Mine."
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You, sir/madam, are evil. Have my upvote and go.
Slow down there, Satan.
Take those wrenches and leave one on his grave every holiday.
Probably a request to find *his* old 7/16 that was mysteriously lost
Reminds me of when my brother and sister both realized they were getting my dad spatulas for Christmas. Both of them were getting these nice looking ones that were on the expensive side for spatulas. So my sister was like “make sure you get him something else.” Well fuck that, I understand my dad. AND the Walmart I worked at at the time was selling these metal spatulas for 25 CENTS each on clearance, left over from the summer grilling stuff that they ordered WAY too much of. Spent like $50 on these fucking spatulas, and then I started having fun. I know my dad enjoys the act of unwrapping something, so I found different boxes and containers to put them in. Also threw in some books to make it more interesting, he doesn’t know if it’s a book or a spatula. Christmas came around and he got to my gifts to him and went “I like seeing all these gifts, but I swear if there’s one more spatula in this I’m gonna lose it.” Had to hide my shit eating grin as I handed him the big box of all the spatulas I couldn’t get into other containers. He kept most of them but I actually ended up with the box, not entirely sure how
Spatula City!
We sell spatulas.... And that's all!
Buy 9 spatulas, get the tenth for just 1 penny!
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I liked their spatulas so much, I bought the company.
And nothing says "I love you" like the gift of a Spatula
UHF Do I win a prize for getting the reference? ;)
You get to drink from the firehose!
You're a lucky lucky boy
You chose the box! EEEDIOT!
Let’s see what in the box! Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Stupid!! You’re so stupid!!
You get to spin the Wheel Of Fish!
Brock Lesnar's less successful gimmick.
This story belongs in r/spatula
What on Earth did r/spatula do to get itself banned?
The message says that it was banned because it was unmoderated, so it didn't necessarily do anything...
Hmmm. What could "an implement with a broad, flat, blunt blade, used for mixing and spreading things" do to get itself banned?
I mean, it's flat and blunt, so it wouldn't be that good as a weapon, if that's what you're suggesting.
Hardly. Sadly, the silver nitrate negatives for Bruce Lee’s “Spatula of the Dragon” were lost, or you’d have seen it a hundred times and know better.
One time my sister and I realized we had bought the same exact card for my dad. So we had the great idea to write the same exact message in each card. Then we mailed them out to him. It was pretty funny. The message was also very well thought out and not generic in the slightest.
I think it's hilarious because last Christmas my dad got 5 spatulas. I guess it's just a thing that all dad's get haha
We do a similar thing to my mother each Christmas. We'll pick a cheaper item and buy multiples of them - it's been fly swats, gardening gloves, spatulas, pots, hand warmers etc. They're then distributed to other family members, and all wrapped in our own style, paper and of course, various packaging sizes. It obviously doesn't take her long to figure out which gift is her multiple item for the year - but the real goal is to see if, 9 items in, she can open something without clueing into the contents until she pulls it out. It's good entertainment each year - though I think she dreads it.
For Christmas put one inside a clear epoxy cube for him, then on his birthday have a set of cuff links made from them. This will carry the joke on but put a bit of effort in too.
A tie, a belt, a necklace, bracelet, watch band, the list goes on. Start getting him all kinds of clothes or decorations covered in them lol
I was thinking one would make for a good bolo tie
And an excellent butt plug, I can tell you from personal experience. I mean, from what I heard.
a spanner, indeed!
Shock spanner, that is.
A wrench belt buckle sounds kinda dope.
An opposuit. Covered in them. Make it so he literally cannot get away. Made into car items. Everyyyywhere
No, give it to him in a box secured with 3/8" bolts (because 7/16 would be too easy).
No. A box secured with a whole bunch of bolts, every single one a different size.
Switch between metric and standard as well, just to be annoying
Good call. Maximize the annoyance. Toss in a torx screw, too.
Can't forget a reverse threaded one
And one of those "screw on only" screws.
Inside is another box, held together with dozens of screws, each a different type. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_screw\_drives
And not a one of them 7/16
Do one 7/16th but make it so that it doesn't actually do anything. Just have it short and threaded into a hole that doesn't do anything... With locktite at least.
Except 7/16
I like your style!! 🍻
How about... Putting one inside a "Break Glass in Case of Emergency" red painted boxes, and have another one permanently attached to a chain as the hammer? Two wrenches, one gag
This would be magnificent.
I forgot to add making the chain just a bit too short... >:)
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Exactly! No more, no less... About 7/16^th of an inch should do nicely.
I bet a 7/16ths spanner tie pin would look real dandy..... maybe get one bent into a nice handy and comfortable watch strap......
Even if he just branches out, and gets 7/16 inspired gifts like sports jerseys with 7/16 as the number
Or go The Office route, and put one in a vat of Jell-O
For his birthday you bake him a cake with a wrench on top and another baked into the cake.
Forge them into a helmet and then a suit of armor.
This!
This is the most wholesome and loving MC I've read here.
He's a good dude, with a big heart, and loves to joke and tease as much as I do. Life is short, and if it costs me 70 bucks a year to show him how much I love him and to have an "inside" joke that everyone gets a kick out of, it's the tiniest of prices to pay.
I just like your sidebar ("Oh, I fucking DO.")
Ooooh lemme tell ya
If you’re willing to spend a bit extra, every 16th of July is 7/16 day…
Can you get a discount if you buy in bulk?
I find this hilarious, don’t get me wrong. But as a father myself, I would be sad knowing my son will only ever give me the same present for every occasion. I would try to apologise for my mistake, as yours did, and if that didn’t work, I wouldn’t get upset. I would play along but deep down I would feel sadness for the missed opportunities to get something from my son, any knick knack that I would keep as my dearest treasure. I don’t know you nor your father, so sorry if I’m intruding.
Never intruding, you're just not seeing the spirit of it. It's not the only gift he gets; I don't even consider it a gift. This year he got a good set of tow-strap tie-downs, a $100 dollar gift card to Harbor Freight, a bulk pack of red Twizzlers because he's old as balls and considers that "candy", and tucked underneath and attached to the frame? The wrench. Think of it like a bow on a present :)
Hahaha awesome. Then it’s very very funny! Nicely done mate!
My dad’s a contractor. One year his garage door needed replaced, and he thought “Meh, standard opening.” and ordered the replacement without measurements. It was way, way, way, way, way, too small. Did we all get him tape measures for years afterward? You’re goddamn right.
A friend of ours has the running gag-gift joke with his FIL. Tape measures... The odder the better. Left-handed, Right-handed, Blind Man's (very large numbers) and the most favourite has been the [Story Tape](https://www.leevalley.com/en-ca/shop/tools/hand-tools/marking-and-measuring/tapes/65359-lee-valley-story-tape?item=99W7850) that lacks any markings.
Fox Sr. could never find a tape measure. We got him the neon ones so they would be easier to find on the bench, but even those ended up in odd and inconvenient places. The solution: [Crappy Ikea tape measures](https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/fixa-tape-measure-40237557/) that were $1 each at one point. I bought about 30 of them and scattered them everywhere. Years later we can still find one when we need it.
Did this to my husband with nail clippers. He “borrows” mine and loses them every time. So I bought him a tub of 100 last Christmas. (He thought it was hilarious and useful.)
My good clippers are in my car because they tend to disappear in the house.
I'm a bra fitter, and I don't use measuring tapes as a general rule because I don't find them more accurate than eyeball and trial and error. There are at least a dozen tape measures I've received from work, enforced by higher ups who think the tape measure looks good and doesn't care that we all think they suck, scattered all around my house. Sure does make measuring my knitting easy though.
>The last wrench will go in his cold, dead hand so he can tighten bolts in hell, because I warned him. Brilliant.
Sorry to do this, but the disingeuous dealings, lies, overall greed etc. of leadership on this website made me decide to edit all but my most informative comments to this. Come join us in the fediverse! (beehaw for a safe space, kbin for access to lots of communities)
r/wholesomerevenge
I honestly had no idea that was a sub Reddit
Me neither!
Too bad Father's Day isn't in July. Though I think you should just start to get him one on 7/16 as well. Ramp it up after 18 years, it's matured.
Father's day (today), birthday (October), Christmas. Like clockwork.
They mean the date 7/16 (Father's Day is 6/16)
Enlist your mom on the joke so he can get one on their anniversaries too
My dad died three years ago and I was having some feels this week about the fact that I’d never get him another Father’s Day gift. This wonderfully written story was exactly what I needed today. Thank you, internet stranger, and may the tradition of that 7/16 wrench live on for many more years.
Sorry for your loss friend - just remember, even when they're gone, they still live on through us, and through wrenches...
Actually, OP should probably solicit here to have them sent from “7/16 Society” members all over the world, to arrive for dear ol’ Dad around Father’s Day. Imagine the look on his face when he opens a package from Guam, Australia, Qatar…and it’s a 7/16 wrench from that country’s chapter president.
I borrowed a Halfords (UK) socket set from a friend - 1/2" drive, combination metric & imperial sizes. When I got round to opening & using it the next day, lo & behold, the 11/16ths socket was missing. Asked my mate if he had it at his house, but naturally he didn't. Being a conscientious pal, I nipped onto ebay &, thankfully found a Halfords 1/2" drive 11/16ths socket there... bought it for a few quid. While I knew it would never affect our friendship, I was damned if that set wasn't going back with every space filled!
Your friend lost that socket years ago and was just waiting for you to borrow tools so that your OCD could correct the problem...
Haha, known him for 30+ years and would happily gift him a whole new set! He's been there through all my high's & low's with encouragement & wise advice. Being able to re-complete his set feels like such a minor nod, compared to how grateful I am for such friendship :)
I replaced my dad's garage door opener last fall. This spring he asked me about the remote. I told him I remember giving it to him in the garage when I was finishing up on the door, but I wasn't sure after 7-8 months. He gave me a ration of crap about it, saying he looked all over and he claimed I never gave it to him. I didn't argue, but he told me to buy a new remote and get it connected and he would pay me, so I did. He still gave me a bit of crap about it from time to time. This late spring I was at his house looking for something and open the junk drawer in the kitchen. I was digging around and what the heck, there was the remote. Obviously I did give it to him and he just dropped it in the junk drawer and forgot about it. (He is in his 90's so I guess it is forgivable. Any way I knew he was outside so I walked outside. He was in the yard in view of the garage door. I walked up and said, "Look what I found!" and opened the garage door with the remote. He looked at me and asked what I had and I pointed to the door and closed it while he was looking that way and then I handed him the remote. I told him where I found it and he didn't say much. I gave him a bit of crap that I had not been certain I gave it to him, but was about 75% sure I had. He mentioned that my memory was obviously better than his!
Sounds like he should have a new remote coming his way at Christmas
Someone's got a loose nut, but your dedication to this is admirable even in the most wrenching of stories. Happy Father's day to you, u/UncleCoyote
Well, I bet it’s not a 7/16 :)
That is the most useful size though. So at least it wasn’t a 11/16” or something like that.
I love everything about this.
Every one of those wrenches was an "I love you, dad."
Oh, absolutely. I love in-jokes. Best part? I always get him real gifts too - so the wrench is now just expected. So one year, I taped it to the inside lid of a huge tub of caramel corn and didn't mention it. He looked through his gifts, and when no one was watching, he started going through wrappers, boxes, etc - thinking he missed it. When no wrench appeared? He actually looked SAD. So I said "Dad - can I have some of that caramel corn?" He opened it, and saw it taped under the lid, and beamed ear-to-ear like a little kid. "I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GOING TO FORGET!" It's just a known thing now with the family, and MY kids will continue it, god forbid I pass first. Even in death? I will not lose the wrench game.
Our family bought many glasss measuring jugs for mum, after one kid moved out & took hers with them, and never heard the end of it. She quietly passed on the extra ones to her women's group friends. She was always the one to spread a little happiness wherever she went.
If he goes first, make sure you bury him with one.
you are DEFINITELY a fellow gen xer.
I DEFINITELY am :
Omg that is so cute!
This is the best reply, I love it 😂
You could even buy one of these to put your 7/16 in https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/526642100/in-case-of-emergency-break-glass?gpla=1&gao=1&
Dude. You are a fucking genius. Birthday is October. Expect pictures.
And naturally, a 7/16 on a string to break the glass with, as well.
!Remind 6 months
A little family has rented a room from me for the past couple of years; they stay because they can't afford their own place. Since times are tough, the father does odd jobs around the house, in exchange for low rent. This year they welcomed a new baby to the family, right around Mother's Day, so we didn't have a party or social gathering while mom was recovering. Come Father's Day, and dad wants to rebuild a fence- I'm all for it, so gift him with a Dewalt cordless circular saw. Naturally, I felt a little guilty that I'd gotten the father an expensive present, but hadn't done much for the mother. So, I told them; the saw was a 'Welcome' gift to the new baby girl! If they were good, maybe the baby would let them borrow it.
Also, for his next birthday make the present the shape of a hammer, only for him to open it up to….another wrench!
Bury him with all the 7/16 wrenches. Archaeologists in 1000 years will wonder WTF.
This is one of those things that'll inadvertently prevent a blackout on the eastern seabord or save the Space Station or something. Like the Kodak Film Nuclear Scandal. Some scientist somewhere will be like, "All the plankton in the ocean will die unless we can compare steel variants in consumer products going back 20 years. But who would have a collection of the same item, manufactured in the same way, in sufficient quantity so as to--" "Let me stop you there. I know a guy with a wrench collection." "That wrench collection is about to save the World." Edit: Link below.
Name checks out.
>You know how they say you're never more than 8 feet from a spider? No, I did not, and fuck you very much.
Worse news: They have wrenches now.
Give him my address. I was just looking for a 7/16th...
Craftsman ratchet end wrench? Sorry man. I might have bought them all. If there's a shortage, it's on me.
this isn't funny anymore. I needed a 7/16 ratchet end set. my dad taught me craftsman are the best, and I can't find 1 here. what's your father's address maybe he can "lend" me 1
Craftsman USED to be the best. Quality went way downhill after they were bought out.
"he can tighten bolts in hell" Fucking hilarious!
"...coming from a long line of mechanics, I knew he's have one available as I didn't have my kit in my car..." Dude, ya broke the first rule of coming from a long line of mechanics.
I know, I know. The shame was mine - but to be 100% fair, it was my WIFE'S car
Your wife should have a kit too. My mechanic ex made sure I had tools in my car and that I knew how to use them
My wife is dangerous with a drawing of wrench. No thank you.
Exemption granted!
Get him an adjustable wrench next time to switch it up and make him think he got something else. Set it to 7/16th and lock it in place with J.B. Weld. I'm sure he'll laugh when he goes to adjust it.
The story, the compliance, the perseverance (52!!!!), the plan to have one in his hands when he passes. Love it all!
I don't remember how it started, but I give my dad duct tape every birthday and holiday. But not just any duct tape. My goal is to give him duct tape that he absolutely will not use. Lol. It's been at least a decade and he has yet to not use the duct tape I've given him.
Zebra print?
This is the kind of Compliance only a good son can deliver.
I'll take that compliment - thank you internet stranger.
Get a pair of 7/16 wrenches and connect them with a chain so he can hang them from his mirror like fuzzy dice.
or from the rear bumper like truck nutz of shame (all truck nutz are some kind of shame)
I appreciate this level of commitment. The best love language is one brought on by spite
OMG, this is brilliant. Every bit of this is a love letter to your dad, and I wish you both long, healthy and happy lives. Happy Father's Day!
It truly is - and thank you friend. A sense of humor is worth all the 7/16 wrenches in the world.
Not when I go to buy a new one!
So....did you get point across yet? Lol
lol Yeah. He's admitted he was teasing, he's told me that I can stop (I know he secretly loves it), and he thinks it's a huge waste of money... But for like 70 bucks a year? I can remind him that I play to win :D
Back when I was a teenager one of my friends had a father who hated shopping. He would traditionally only go Christmas shopping on Dec 24, starting at 6 PM. As such he was always in a mad rush, and would just sweep up whatever random stuff he could find. One year in January she complained to us, in a quite indignant tone, that on Christmas morning she rushed down the stairs and the first thing that she saw was a spatula sticking out of her stocking. She went on and on about how terrible it was that her father thought that a spatula would make a great Christmas gift for a 16 year old girl. And that's when a plan was hatched. You see her birthday was in February, and we all made a vow together. On her birthday every one of us presented her with a spatula. She had all kinds of spatulas, wrapped in every conceivable manner. Every present that she opened was another spatula. Of course she vowed revenge. Every birthday from then on she would gift each one of us with a spatula. And that's how a tradition was born. Soon the spatulas were flying back and forth between our entire group. Birthday? You get a spatula. Christmas? Spatula time. And who can forget the traditional graduation spatula. It was glorious. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. I have them in every colour. I have them in every size. Comically oversized spatulas? I have 3. Comically undersized spatulas, probably intended for doll houses? They're more of a foot hazard than legos are. Ever hear of the [Malaysian Battle Spatula](https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=540)? I have one. How about a [Hydro-Dynamic Spatula](https://spongebob.fandom.com/wiki/Hydro-dynamic_spatula) with port and starboard attachments and turbo drive? Well, I haven't actually received on of those yet, but I just know that it's a matter of time. The tradition has spread to my kids. Every Christmas they get a spatula in their stockings. every Christmas I get three. You've probably heard of rick-rolling? Around my house we "[Spatula City](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpsMGpMIqNk)" roll each other. By the way, if you haven't already seen the movie UHF featuring Weird Al Yankovic, you should. Now if only I could get a slotted spoon.
My uncle put my grandfsthers favorite tool in his hand right before the casket was closed, you need to take a 7/16 wrench to the funeral and make sure its in your dad's hand before they close his so you can get the last laugh.
On everything that I am, that’s the plan. This is the way.
This story hits different. It’s a heart wrenching tale.
Nana in the hospital and his son shows up with a bouquet of ribbon wrapped wrenches. I love this so much. My grandpa would be delighted call me a pain in the ass and probably toss a wrench my way.
When I was about 14 my dad misplaced a 7/16” wrench. We joked about it for years but moved on. A replacement was bought and life went on. About 15 years later he bought a truck from the estate of a friend. We had done a bit of work to the truck over the years. While stripping it for parts we pulled the motor. Stuck in the oil and dirt on the front suspension crossmember was that very 7/16” wrench. Apparently we, not sure which of us, had let it fall down under the engine while working on it. But it came back and is still in my dad’s toolbox. It is a little rusty but works fine.
As the wife of a mechanic who as lost more tools than I ever will, I approve of this. TFF. ETA: typo---last to lost. Oops.
Not to be morbid, but when he does go to the big garage in the sky (hopefully many years from now), you’re gonna cry every time you see a 7/16ths wrench.
He has the first one I gave him. It's in a really funny ornate box. That's the only one I want.
Put them all in his coffin, lol. or watch him leave you all of them in his will.
And then hire a whole football team to be the pall bearers. That weight adds up!
Have someone custom build a coffin out of 7/16" wrenches.
Laughed out loud at "Tighten bolts in hell" - I had that relationship with my dad (A quality control engineer) - great story.
What gets me is that it sounds like he KEPT ALL 52
Do YOU throw away a good tool?
You should drill a hole in a handle and run a chain through it for a necklace for him.
That’s why I printed out a T-shirt one year, he’s a mechanic, so no real jewelry, no necklaces, and instead of hands he has these big manly catcher’s mitts, so the rings don’t work either. But wrenches? Oh he’s getting wrenches.
Wasn't expecting to cry over a Malicious Compliance, but here we are...
Solid 5 of 7/16.
Make sure you have someplace to gift those wrenches to, because at some point you know you're going to be inheriting them. Also, time to take it up a notch, as at this point there's no way he's keeping tabs on all of them. Start regifting him the ones you've already given. See how long until he catches on that his collection isn't growing any more.
I know a guy. lol
Thank you you beautiful bastard.
You are most welcome, you gorgeous son of a bitch.
At least your father knows that your are a stand-up man who fulfills his promises.
You don't know the half of it. Every year on his birthday I ask "What do you want?" His big, gruff mechanic ass says "Oh, I dunno> Pink tutu". I have pics, of this tough, red neck mother fucker, in a tutu, because I told him "Say it again, and I'm getting you one." To his credit? He wore it and danced for the grandkids.
You are a man of taste with excellent companions to boot. ...when your dad finally goes--hopefully far in the future--you're gonna put one of those wrenches into his hand before the coffin closes, aren't you?
He has already accepted this as fate...
My family has a similar tradition haha I'm not 100% positive of the exact origin because I try to stay out of it, but it's remotes in my family. I know it started with my aunt (moms sister) and if I remember correctly she first got a shadow box containing the remote that started it all. Since then the collection has grown exponentially. This started when they were teenagers and they're both over 50 now. Every single remote no longer in use has been collected. They have networked to collect remotes. And they hide them around each others houses when they visit one another. I don't know what the last count was, but my mom got the last strike. My grandparents were still finding remotes a year after her visit a few years back. To this day I don't know if they've found them all. There's also a couple of decorative plates that somehow ended up involved. Its crazy how competitive they get with it though. Hence why I try to stay as far out of it as humanly possible.
My old man was a policemen for 5yrs and a truck driver for 25yrs. He wouldn’t let me drive truck because “it was to hard on a family” so I did the next best thing and became a truck and heavy equipment mechanic, well he always tinkered and “fixed on stuff” and had a toolbox that had everything you needed but was mostly disorganized and sure enough it was always “us kids” that lost his un-organized tools. Well being a professional diesel mechanic my $15k toolbox and $50k worth of tools was ORGANIZED so one Christmas I decided that once and for all I was going to buy racks and organizers and find or buy every tool “we” ever lost. I get thru organizing and replacing lost tools and made the deadline of surprising him for Christmas… He gave me a simple “Thanks Jr.” 🤦♂️ … One week later at New Years he complains that I messed up his toolbox and he can’t find a thing!!! Sure enough all the racks and organizers are in a neat pile next to his box!! I’m PISSED!! I go to confront him and he says “ the good thing Jr. is that I found a few tools you had lost 😁😁😁😁 God damnit Dad !!! I love you and miss you Pops RIP.
I got a giggle out of this. :)
I linked my wife to this and she immediately was like "He's clearly at the point where he could take one from his dad, regift it, and his dad wouldn't know" Since you're presumably single-handedly driving up the eBay cost on these, I'm inclined to agree with her! :)
Easily. Hell, I could take a dozen. But I won't. THAT'S not the point.
You realize that when he dies, this will be the only thing he will leave you in his will. All those 7/16 ratchet ends.
Sounds like when my father said, "A man can always use another hammer." Every holiday for the next ten years. There is an entire wall of hammers in his garage now.
Great story and I have two things I’d like to share with you: 1. Hell exclusively uses 1/2 bolts so the 7/16 will make it that much more Hellish for him. 2. I still have my Dad’s 50+ year old wrenches and it’s nice to think of him every time I use one since he’s no longer with us. There are multiple of every size, but not a damn 7/16 (or 10mm) so if y’all want to bequest one in his memory that’d be great.
Guess what he’s leaving you in his will? 😝
My dad made the mistake of saying “I don’t want anything” whenever we asked about gift giving holidays. So, he got a bottle of Old Spice for every single one for the better part of a decade until he finally started coming up with gift ideas.