Defeat brings them deep shame inside, that is what they suffer with the most, and they cannot bear to face this shame so they do anything in their power to avoid it.
It takes real character and strength to admit defeat, and also going back on something we previously said and admitting we were wrong.
Because accepting defeat means decreased attention from their opponents,
Here’s the thing about going into battle with a narcissist, we are no match for them. Mentally Healthy and happy individuals cannot even comprehend how far a narcissist will go to ensure their victory over the threats. Is normal people are threats to them.
I feel you! It’s the little wins we have.
They are incapable of admitting defeat because they tie it to their identity, admit they care about it and they have to admit they hate themselves.
For normal people, admitting defeat is fine because they know it doesn’t mean they’re inadequate; they have other foundation for their identity.
At work I try to treat them neutrally and the same as everyone else; as if I don’t see them for what they are or don’t even care because why be bothered by someone so insignificant they’re just another person? but I think my N colleagues are much easier to deal with than yours. N colleagues seem to hate being forgotten.
Yeah he's already losing by playing the game. It takes him so much more effort than the narcissist to win it. Also there just going to change the game since it's their game. I get it. It feels good to win though.
Because they are children. They can never be wrong. They live in their own fantasy land. Delusions. When adults weren't told no when their kids, they grow up to be people who think they can do anything without a care in the world.
That's the explanation I have for their behavior. NO is not in their vocabulary.
The explanation for their behaviour is usually that they were intensely shamed or judged as children, and they developed a maladaptive strategy to forever more protect their very fragile ego by shaming and controlling others instead.
Worst case scenario for them is, they get fired and they get another job instantly using their charm and manipulation, then they repeat the same abuse. All they do is learn from it and become even more vial in their antics.
💯. 1+1=3 in their fantasy delusional minds until someone is affected by it. They will stand by it, even if it means harming someone.
Narcs will tell you the sky is red if it means they cannot be exposed for their flaws. They cannot accept defeat and loss because it destroys their fragile ego.
Big fucking babies is how I describe them.
You can be confident and insecure at the same time, narcissist's entire personality is based around protecting their insecurity with projecting confidence outward.
Warnings are ok, hopefully the next time he screws up you get his job lol that’s what happened to me and I didn’t report my boss. I worked at a winery for 15 months and worked hard everyday. The old 2nd shift manager retired so his assistant manager became the manager and came to me and said “I’m gonna offer you the asst manager spot because you’re always here on time and work your hours without bitching. I hate this job and now I’m running 2nd shift I wanna stay in my office and play world of Warcraft so if you can ensure I don’t have to deal with petty shit on the line I’ll give you the spot so you can deal with that shit but make almost 3 times as much an hour” so I basically did that, trained new guys, worked out complaints, made sure the lines ran smoothly and helped out where I could. I didn’t get pissed until he tried to get me to do his end of day paperwork. So one day he’s like “you know any of these guys would take your spot in a heartbeat” and I said “most of those guys hate you for being such a hard ass for years when it wasn’t necessary, you’re right they’ll take my job but the first chance they get they’re gonna tell first shift you sit in your office playing computer games for 10
Hours a day, do your own paperwork I don’t even know how to fill it out”. And that was that. Worked out well being up front but fair.
Yeah. I got campaigned out of my last job.
I stopped being polite and started being more overt about what I noticed. The person I was working with who was being covert wielded a lot of influence, but there were some glaring blind spots that I needed to work through to help the team mature. I wasn’t perfect by any means, but I knew how to grease the wheels of a project through some minor bottlenecks with a small team. Man, the gloves came off fast and I was laid off within a week. such a weird thing. Defend the status quo instead of growth mindset.
Why do you think they are narcissists? It seems your corworker(s) are also narcissits.
I had one manager that I believe was a true narcisst. He was outright abusive, I started developing hives and physical symptoms from all the stress he casued. He tore the office apart and after I left other coworkers reached out to me saying it had become horrific. People couldn't even stand being in the same room as him.
Not the kind of person I would be playing a game with to begin with.
Superiority, refusal to admit fault and take blame, manipulation, gaslighting, covert bullying, using threats and intimidation as a form of control, death stares, fragile egos that shattered when I stood up to them. They tried to demote me over the most trivial shit all because I called them out, despite the fact I was one of the best workers there and my co-workers know that. And they even tried trauma bonding me.
Not to mention other people have left and have the same opinion I do. A young guy that left refers to them as “dogs”.
I can even feel my energy being sucked out when I interact with them. My spirit feels repulsed when I’m near them.
Your playing a game with people that have no rules, eventually they will win unless there’s an outside entity that steps in
Defeat brings them deep shame inside, that is what they suffer with the most, and they cannot bear to face this shame so they do anything in their power to avoid it. It takes real character and strength to admit defeat, and also going back on something we previously said and admitting we were wrong.
Shame is a fundamental ingredient in narcissism.
Because accepting defeat means decreased attention from their opponents, Here’s the thing about going into battle with a narcissist, we are no match for them. Mentally Healthy and happy individuals cannot even comprehend how far a narcissist will go to ensure their victory over the threats. Is normal people are threats to them.
What do you think you're going to win playing their games?
I couldn’t afford to leave at the time so it felt like I had no other choice, and I believe in getting justice
I feel you! It’s the little wins we have. They are incapable of admitting defeat because they tie it to their identity, admit they care about it and they have to admit they hate themselves. For normal people, admitting defeat is fine because they know it doesn’t mean they’re inadequate; they have other foundation for their identity. At work I try to treat them neutrally and the same as everyone else; as if I don’t see them for what they are or don’t even care because why be bothered by someone so insignificant they’re just another person? but I think my N colleagues are much easier to deal with than yours. N colleagues seem to hate being forgotten.
Yes, seeing the look of their faces was priceless. I love hurting bullies.
Yeah he's already losing by playing the game. It takes him so much more effort than the narcissist to win it. Also there just going to change the game since it's their game. I get it. It feels good to win though.
Because they are children. They can never be wrong. They live in their own fantasy land. Delusions. When adults weren't told no when their kids, they grow up to be people who think they can do anything without a care in the world. That's the explanation I have for their behavior. NO is not in their vocabulary.
The explanation for their behaviour is usually that they were intensely shamed or judged as children, and they developed a maladaptive strategy to forever more protect their very fragile ego by shaming and controlling others instead.
It’s not always they weren’t told no when they were kids.
Worst case scenario for them is, they get fired and they get another job instantly using their charm and manipulation, then they repeat the same abuse. All they do is learn from it and become even more vial in their antics.
Delusional 💯💯
💯. 1+1=3 in their fantasy delusional minds until someone is affected by it. They will stand by it, even if it means harming someone. Narcs will tell you the sky is red if it means they cannot be exposed for their flaws. They cannot accept defeat and loss because it destroys their fragile ego. Big fucking babies is how I describe them.
Ok. Can you leave now? Do you think justice was made by your actions?
I have left now, and yes. I got my supervisor into trouble that he deserved.
Ok cool. Don't waste your energy on these fools from here on out. They won't and they don't and they love having check mates. Best of luck OP.
Thank you
‘cause they are narcissists
You can be confident and insecure at the same time, narcissist's entire personality is based around protecting their insecurity with projecting confidence outward.
who knows. cant be mind readers. but you know the end game here is not in your favor. :/
What game are you referring to? A bit more context would definitely help this post.
I won’t go into specifics but essentially I exposed my supervisors double standards which cost the company money, and he was given a warning
Warnings are ok, hopefully the next time he screws up you get his job lol that’s what happened to me and I didn’t report my boss. I worked at a winery for 15 months and worked hard everyday. The old 2nd shift manager retired so his assistant manager became the manager and came to me and said “I’m gonna offer you the asst manager spot because you’re always here on time and work your hours without bitching. I hate this job and now I’m running 2nd shift I wanna stay in my office and play world of Warcraft so if you can ensure I don’t have to deal with petty shit on the line I’ll give you the spot so you can deal with that shit but make almost 3 times as much an hour” so I basically did that, trained new guys, worked out complaints, made sure the lines ran smoothly and helped out where I could. I didn’t get pissed until he tried to get me to do his end of day paperwork. So one day he’s like “you know any of these guys would take your spot in a heartbeat” and I said “most of those guys hate you for being such a hard ass for years when it wasn’t necessary, you’re right they’ll take my job but the first chance they get they’re gonna tell first shift you sit in your office playing computer games for 10 Hours a day, do your own paperwork I don’t even know how to fill it out”. And that was that. Worked out well being up front but fair.
The game is being played in a completely separate reality for them.
They do not acknowledge they have narcissistic qualities. They can’t stop.
Yeah. I got campaigned out of my last job. I stopped being polite and started being more overt about what I noticed. The person I was working with who was being covert wielded a lot of influence, but there were some glaring blind spots that I needed to work through to help the team mature. I wasn’t perfect by any means, but I knew how to grease the wheels of a project through some minor bottlenecks with a small team. Man, the gloves came off fast and I was laid off within a week. such a weird thing. Defend the status quo instead of growth mindset.
Your last sentence is spot on
Why do you think they are narcissists? It seems your corworker(s) are also narcissits. I had one manager that I believe was a true narcisst. He was outright abusive, I started developing hives and physical symptoms from all the stress he casued. He tore the office apart and after I left other coworkers reached out to me saying it had become horrific. People couldn't even stand being in the same room as him. Not the kind of person I would be playing a game with to begin with.
Superiority, refusal to admit fault and take blame, manipulation, gaslighting, covert bullying, using threats and intimidation as a form of control, death stares, fragile egos that shattered when I stood up to them. They tried to demote me over the most trivial shit all because I called them out, despite the fact I was one of the best workers there and my co-workers know that. And they even tried trauma bonding me. Not to mention other people have left and have the same opinion I do. A young guy that left refers to them as “dogs”. I can even feel my energy being sucked out when I interact with them. My spirit feels repulsed when I’m near them.
This is actually be one of the advantages of being a narcissist, there are reasons why they exist after all.