I’m not sure there is anything wrong with the relationship with the brother, but there is something to work on in the marriage.
I think you don’t feel he is respecting you as a partner. You may be right, but you may be missing things too.
Does he want to work on the relationship? Is he willing to admit there’s some problems and that he and you need to work together on these problems? If he’s willing to work on the marriage, I think you can improve the situation.
You may try getting a marriage counselor so you have an outside voice to help.
I feel maybe he is not making me his go to person for sharing or discussing things is the issue. I feel that the entire situation has created a competitive zone and a battlefield in my mind. I have no issues with his family but him keeping them on a pedestal irritates me and I find myself fighting for attention. Maybe i need to accept him not making me a priority over them.
There may be some reframing around the particular topics of discussion. Maybe he values his brothers opinion in certain domains and areas of expertise that he feels his brother has, and you don't really have. Would he be correct there? Does he trust you in some areas and talk to you about those things? If he is sub-dividing by topic he may have a point. Of course if he's just doing whatever his brother says in any domain or context, that doesn't seem to be healthy.
Are there areas where you are very knowledgeable that he recognizes and appreciates?
I’m not sure there is anything wrong with the relationship with the brother, but there is something to work on in the marriage. I think you don’t feel he is respecting you as a partner. You may be right, but you may be missing things too. Does he want to work on the relationship? Is he willing to admit there’s some problems and that he and you need to work together on these problems? If he’s willing to work on the marriage, I think you can improve the situation. You may try getting a marriage counselor so you have an outside voice to help.
I feel maybe he is not making me his go to person for sharing or discussing things is the issue. I feel that the entire situation has created a competitive zone and a battlefield in my mind. I have no issues with his family but him keeping them on a pedestal irritates me and I find myself fighting for attention. Maybe i need to accept him not making me a priority over them.
There may be some reframing around the particular topics of discussion. Maybe he values his brothers opinion in certain domains and areas of expertise that he feels his brother has, and you don't really have. Would he be correct there? Does he trust you in some areas and talk to you about those things? If he is sub-dividing by topic he may have a point. Of course if he's just doing whatever his brother says in any domain or context, that doesn't seem to be healthy. Are there areas where you are very knowledgeable that he recognizes and appreciates?