I haven't gotten to experience the exact experience you describe (yet), I have however experienced the rather unique experience that is the doctor walking into the room saying "hello mister dead name", asking me about my symptoms then telling me that he can't help me until I've done their pregnancy test. Then once I managed to convince him that I really am trans and that no I'm mtf not ftm, he started grilling me on my transition. Like it was the typical cis person questions (have you had the surgery?), then he was amazed that informed consent was a thing, then he asked me about my mental state and it was a whole deal.
Now the reason why I was in the doctor's office to begin with was because I had a pretty bad sinus infection and wanted to ask about antibiotics, so when you imagine this conversation keep in mind that I was a coughing, flemmy, mucousy mess for the entire appointment.
(Little context I still try to boymode when going to most doctors offices)
I recently had a similar experience where I was asked if and which meds I take and why (Estrogen and T-Blocker). So obviously I tell her dutifully everything. And she then concluded that I was FtM. Which obviously isn't bad in it self. But like she was almost shouting, asking me if I was 'actually a woman' (which at first I thought she was just overly supportive, she was not), telling me that I have to tell her because she needs to know sooner and such. After I was able to tell her that I was actually MtF, she seemed to calm down and asked me about which operations I have planned and when đ.
It was so weird to be treated as a cis (gay) guy, trans guy, and trans woman all within 15 minutes by the same person. Only because I wanted her to check a darker coloured spot on my arm...
It's um.. A very debated topic even within the MtF community LOL, some people get really mad at the idea of a transfem even using the word "period"
Personally I think gatekeeping it is just a way to keep the gap between cis women and trans women wide open, I also think it's just a bit silly how heated people get over transfems literally just using a word
Don't remind me about the r/lgbt thread on this. The cis people there were getting so vitriolic over the idea of trans women using the word period and dismissive of our experiences. It's the thread that made me leave that sub.
No need to go to another sub, I got heavily downvoted and even insulted like a month ago on this very subreddit on that exact subject.
Made me wipe my account and I almost left Reddit altogether, just because I dared explain that periods colloquially refers to PMS as well as menstruation, and that we didnât need another term that would make us lesser women.
I got this on this exact subreddit to Iâm sick of people being shitty for no reason other than internalized transphobia itâs distasteful and a very bad look GO TO THERAPY GIRLS! Donât take it out on others!
Just to give the other side of it as someone who does have period like symptoms, but personally doesnât like calling it a period⌠I just know a lot of women in my life who have had debilitating period symptoms from intense cramps to menstrual migraines which I think by and large I havenât seen us experience. I think bleeding itself can be a financial burden even in some WEIRD nations or in nations without access to pads and tampons, it often leads to being sequestered for a quarter of the year.
That doesnât mean that I yell at people who call the symptoms a period, I get what they mean, but itâs just hard for me to call them that.
I do think what I do get frustrated with is for a bit we get posts here that will be like âtrans women get periods, end of debate, and if you donât think so, itâs transphobic.â I think saying folks who donât like calling it a period are the mad and heated side is unfair. I think it genuinely is an interesting issue with multiple points of view that people have strong feelings about.
I do think there is also the issue that this is an incredibly under researched thing. That doesnât mean itâs not happening, and there really could be a study that shows exactly what a lot of people are saying, that a lot of trans women do genuinely experience a period in so far as much as you can without having a uterus while having equivalent E levels in your body.
But you get people who will put out possible explanations that I feel like get elevated to âthis is whatâs happening.â And I think thatâs not necessarily the best thing.
I just feel like if tomorrow a scientist proved that trans women arenât getting anything close to periods that wouldnât in any way make me less of a woman. Just like any trans women who donât take E or who donât feel these things or cis women without periods arenât any less women.
I can totally see that perspective. The reason I use the word is because of my mom, actually. She has PMS, and gets it pretty bad. Sheâs also been super open about it growing up with all three of her AMAB sons, and transparent about female anatomy, which weâve actually always respected/appreciated.
I started getting strong monthly mood swings and headaches, and when I would tell her every few weeks in the first few months, she would tell me âItâs your periodâ and help me through it and give me advice. Admittedly, I was pretty transmed in the beginning of my transition, and really didnât want to use the word, but she actually helped me with this, even if she wasnât totally âOn boardâ with everything initially
Yeah and I think thatâs totally fair. And I also donât think we should speak on the behalf of cis women and other AFAB people or treat them as fragile with this topic. Which is something I think your post really speaks to.
My wife kinda rolls her eyes at not calling it a period and even makes fun of it, calling her own period a âhormonal spike with PMS like symptoms.â My closest work friend kinda nodded along when I described it and was like âyeah hon⌠I get it, dudeâŚâ
It definitely is a personal decision on how to refer to it and rooted in personal feelings. And hopefully we will also get more research on it as well with a lot more research on periods in general.
Lol at that second paragraph. I'm actually so glad we had this convo, I remember putting "my period" as a throwaway line in a post a few months ago and got a couple of genuinely awful truscum comments along the lines of "Oh my god, this is why nobody takes us seriously" which so egregiously misses the point of discussion it wraps back around into transphobia.
That's the part of the discussion I can't stand, when it's used as another "gatcha" statement on why trans people(specifically trans women) shouldn't be taken seriously or put on the same level as cis women, or even the rest of the population.
I think your missing the point for a lot of us itâs an affirming experience and to tell others that they are not having the experience that they themselves say they are is INCREDIBLY dismissive the point is to leave trans women alone and let them be themselves. Side note we tend to be emotionally vulnerable due to daily trauma no need to stack more on each other over words! Itâs hard enough wading through all of the extreme hatred out there show some support.
Look, I think I said what I believe on it, and I donât get the sense that debate is really helpful or what youâre looking for.
What I will say is that itâs not fair to ask for empathy and not also being willing to grant it. My post was written in response to a post that I donât think gave a full or fair view of folks on my side of things.
And Iâll be honest, itâs not always great to come here as a trans woman to get lectured on what it is like to be a trans woman.
Itâs sad that it is. It is our period like..? Itâs a period of time that we hate life lol. Just cause we donât bleed doesnât make it like better or anything
People react so badly that i have nearly stopped mentioning it from the anxiety of being met with a shitstorm just because i *dare* to mention that yes, i do experience periods, and that no, a uterus is not required to have them....
The endocrine system is kind of stupid, and it doesn't know we don't have a uterus. So every month or so it tells your stomach muscles to help massage the uterus (to get the blood out), which causes cramping in the abdomen as thr muscles get tired (and potentially diarrhea as well).
It will also have your system store estrogen more and break it down slower, which raises your estrogen levels and causes PMS and such. Even though we're on synthetic controlled doses.
This is completely untrue. If you suffer from certain symptoms thatâs fine but please donât spread misinformation about how the menstrual cycle works in order to validate it. The stomach has nothing to do with it, hence why cis women born without wombs or who have had hysterectomies and take HRT do not suffer cramps.
The supraperinneal abdominal smooth muscles, also known as the "stomach muscles" colloquially, are activated as a part of the menstrual cycle. Those are the muscles that cramp in most cis women as well. The uterus almost never actually cramps.
And post-hysterectomy cis women also suffer from many of the same menstrual symptoms that Trans women do, including PMS , cramping, and diarrhea.
The stomach muscles are the pyramidalis, rectus abdominus, external obliques, internal obliques and transversus abdominis. I assume you mean âsuprarenalâ which is a gland. These are not the muscles that cramp in cis women and arenât even located in the right place. Menstrual cramping occurs in the pelvis not the stomach because the source is the uterus. Not all women suffer with cramping but no women without a uterus suffer from menstrual cramps although they may still have some side affects of HRT.
There are smooth muscles that line your perineum. Those are the supraperineal (meaning over the perineum) smooth muscles. Smooth muscles are controlled autonomically, all the muscles you just listed are skeletal muscles that are controlled intentionally.
As for the rest of what you said, it's just wrong.
The perineum has absolutely nothing to do with the stomach. And yes those muscles can sometime spasm during a period but the pain is located againâŚdeep in the pelvis or anus area. Are you talking about the superficial transverse perineal muscle? Can you show me where youâre getting this information please so I can better understand?
Why are you fixated on the stomach? You know that most people call their abdomen their stomachs, right? Like "stomach pain" is what people with appendicitis say they have when it's lower right abdominal...
Because it matters if youâre making medical claims that stomach muscles are the cause of menstrual cramps. Thatâs misleading, like I said in my original comment. Some of the words youâre using donât even exist and seem to be a mash up of several things which makes your point difficult to understand. Iâm curious where you got this information. You can choose to take this as a personal attack or you can take the opportunity to educate yourself.
Oh yeah, it's not something everyone gets. I was experiencing daggers right where (I feel like) the uterus would be for the past two days. Comes complete with being super emotional, horny, digestive issues, and food cravings!
I've had a doctor ask me what happened while I was unconcious, telling me to do more sports after I told him I cycled 20 km per day and telling me to drink more water when I was already at ~4L per day.
In the end, they didn't even figure out why I was unconcious/not quite concious for what according to my partner was about an hour.
Let's just say I don't generaly trust doctors to actualy care at all about my health unless they have proven otherwise and just expect them to dismiss any issues I might have.
If I tell a doctor that knows I'm trans about my monthly cramps, mood swings and shits, they just don't belive me.
If they don't know, they tell me that's just my period.
At this point I just don't tell them anymore about me being trans because that doesn't help at all and just opens doors for discrimination.
bUt wHaT iF iT iS iMpOrTaNt fOr tHeM tO kNoW?
They don't even care enough at all to even figure out what's wrong, so there isn't realy a point in telling them anything they probably don't even understand.
Closest I've gotten was an X-ray tech asking when my last period was (which is a legit question, because you shouldn't get an X-ray if you're pregnant).
I've had one instance of the opposite happening (an obscure diagnosis when it was in fact just a period) and that was very early on in my transition and neither my doctor nor I knew that trans women could get periods at the time
My gender care provider actually wanted me to keep a journal of period like symptoms for documentation about trans women. My doctor is cool but she's also one in a million.
Isnât there some OB/GYN issues that AFABs face that become a diagnostic issue if they occur during multiple monthly cycles?
Kind of like the generic warning on an antacid OTC or stool softener OTC?
I haven't gotten to experience the exact experience you describe (yet), I have however experienced the rather unique experience that is the doctor walking into the room saying "hello mister dead name", asking me about my symptoms then telling me that he can't help me until I've done their pregnancy test. Then once I managed to convince him that I really am trans and that no I'm mtf not ftm, he started grilling me on my transition. Like it was the typical cis person questions (have you had the surgery?), then he was amazed that informed consent was a thing, then he asked me about my mental state and it was a whole deal. Now the reason why I was in the doctor's office to begin with was because I had a pretty bad sinus infection and wanted to ask about antibiotics, so when you imagine this conversation keep in mind that I was a coughing, flemmy, mucousy mess for the entire appointment.
(Little context I still try to boymode when going to most doctors offices) I recently had a similar experience where I was asked if and which meds I take and why (Estrogen and T-Blocker). So obviously I tell her dutifully everything. And she then concluded that I was FtM. Which obviously isn't bad in it self. But like she was almost shouting, asking me if I was 'actually a woman' (which at first I thought she was just overly supportive, she was not), telling me that I have to tell her because she needs to know sooner and such. After I was able to tell her that I was actually MtF, she seemed to calm down and asked me about which operations I have planned and when đ. It was so weird to be treated as a cis (gay) guy, trans guy, and trans woman all within 15 minutes by the same person. Only because I wanted her to check a darker coloured spot on my arm...
If you weren't aware, many trans women do have period symptoms. No blood for obvious reasons, but cramps and mood swings do still apply.
I was NOT aware of that! Thank you for letting me know, canât believe I didnât know that lol
It's um.. A very debated topic even within the MtF community LOL, some people get really mad at the idea of a transfem even using the word "period" Personally I think gatekeeping it is just a way to keep the gap between cis women and trans women wide open, I also think it's just a bit silly how heated people get over transfems literally just using a word
Don't remind me about the r/lgbt thread on this. The cis people there were getting so vitriolic over the idea of trans women using the word period and dismissive of our experiences. It's the thread that made me leave that sub.
No need to go to another sub, I got heavily downvoted and even insulted like a month ago on this very subreddit on that exact subject. Made me wipe my account and I almost left Reddit altogether, just because I dared explain that periods colloquially refers to PMS as well as menstruation, and that we didnât need another term that would make us lesser women.
I got this on this exact subreddit to Iâm sick of people being shitty for no reason other than internalized transphobia itâs distasteful and a very bad look GO TO THERAPY GIRLS! Donât take it out on others!
I've been considering doing the same and sticking to trans spaces honestly.
Yup I got heavily down voted in that thread by calling it out too.Â
Just to give the other side of it as someone who does have period like symptoms, but personally doesnât like calling it a period⌠I just know a lot of women in my life who have had debilitating period symptoms from intense cramps to menstrual migraines which I think by and large I havenât seen us experience. I think bleeding itself can be a financial burden even in some WEIRD nations or in nations without access to pads and tampons, it often leads to being sequestered for a quarter of the year. That doesnât mean that I yell at people who call the symptoms a period, I get what they mean, but itâs just hard for me to call them that. I do think what I do get frustrated with is for a bit we get posts here that will be like âtrans women get periods, end of debate, and if you donât think so, itâs transphobic.â I think saying folks who donât like calling it a period are the mad and heated side is unfair. I think it genuinely is an interesting issue with multiple points of view that people have strong feelings about. I do think there is also the issue that this is an incredibly under researched thing. That doesnât mean itâs not happening, and there really could be a study that shows exactly what a lot of people are saying, that a lot of trans women do genuinely experience a period in so far as much as you can without having a uterus while having equivalent E levels in your body. But you get people who will put out possible explanations that I feel like get elevated to âthis is whatâs happening.â And I think thatâs not necessarily the best thing. I just feel like if tomorrow a scientist proved that trans women arenât getting anything close to periods that wouldnât in any way make me less of a woman. Just like any trans women who donât take E or who donât feel these things or cis women without periods arenât any less women.
I can totally see that perspective. The reason I use the word is because of my mom, actually. She has PMS, and gets it pretty bad. Sheâs also been super open about it growing up with all three of her AMAB sons, and transparent about female anatomy, which weâve actually always respected/appreciated. I started getting strong monthly mood swings and headaches, and when I would tell her every few weeks in the first few months, she would tell me âItâs your periodâ and help me through it and give me advice. Admittedly, I was pretty transmed in the beginning of my transition, and really didnât want to use the word, but she actually helped me with this, even if she wasnât totally âOn boardâ with everything initially
Yeah and I think thatâs totally fair. And I also donât think we should speak on the behalf of cis women and other AFAB people or treat them as fragile with this topic. Which is something I think your post really speaks to. My wife kinda rolls her eyes at not calling it a period and even makes fun of it, calling her own period a âhormonal spike with PMS like symptoms.â My closest work friend kinda nodded along when I described it and was like âyeah hon⌠I get it, dudeâŚâ It definitely is a personal decision on how to refer to it and rooted in personal feelings. And hopefully we will also get more research on it as well with a lot more research on periods in general.
Lol at that second paragraph. I'm actually so glad we had this convo, I remember putting "my period" as a throwaway line in a post a few months ago and got a couple of genuinely awful truscum comments along the lines of "Oh my god, this is why nobody takes us seriously" which so egregiously misses the point of discussion it wraps back around into transphobia. That's the part of the discussion I can't stand, when it's used as another "gatcha" statement on why trans people(specifically trans women) shouldn't be taken seriously or put on the same level as cis women, or even the rest of the population.
Thank you for being a diplomatic voice of reason for us trans women who don't use the word.
I think your missing the point for a lot of us itâs an affirming experience and to tell others that they are not having the experience that they themselves say they are is INCREDIBLY dismissive the point is to leave trans women alone and let them be themselves. Side note we tend to be emotionally vulnerable due to daily trauma no need to stack more on each other over words! Itâs hard enough wading through all of the extreme hatred out there show some support.
Look, I think I said what I believe on it, and I donât get the sense that debate is really helpful or what youâre looking for. What I will say is that itâs not fair to ask for empathy and not also being willing to grant it. My post was written in response to a post that I donât think gave a full or fair view of folks on my side of things. And Iâll be honest, itâs not always great to come here as a trans woman to get lectured on what it is like to be a trans woman.
Thatâs the point I was making you deal with it to. Sorry Iâm not too good at text messaging but I ment no offense maybe I chose the wrong words
You said it sister!
Itâs sad that it is. It is our period like..? Itâs a period of time that we hate life lol. Just cause we donât bleed doesnât make it like better or anything
People react so badly that i have nearly stopped mentioning it from the anxiety of being met with a shitstorm just because i *dare* to mention that yes, i do experience periods, and that no, a uterus is not required to have them....
The endocrine system is kind of stupid, and it doesn't know we don't have a uterus. So every month or so it tells your stomach muscles to help massage the uterus (to get the blood out), which causes cramping in the abdomen as thr muscles get tired (and potentially diarrhea as well). It will also have your system store estrogen more and break it down slower, which raises your estrogen levels and causes PMS and such. Even though we're on synthetic controlled doses.
That is NOT how periods work.
This is completely untrue. If you suffer from certain symptoms thatâs fine but please donât spread misinformation about how the menstrual cycle works in order to validate it. The stomach has nothing to do with it, hence why cis women born without wombs or who have had hysterectomies and take HRT do not suffer cramps.
The supraperinneal abdominal smooth muscles, also known as the "stomach muscles" colloquially, are activated as a part of the menstrual cycle. Those are the muscles that cramp in most cis women as well. The uterus almost never actually cramps. And post-hysterectomy cis women also suffer from many of the same menstrual symptoms that Trans women do, including PMS , cramping, and diarrhea.
The stomach muscles are the pyramidalis, rectus abdominus, external obliques, internal obliques and transversus abdominis. I assume you mean âsuprarenalâ which is a gland. These are not the muscles that cramp in cis women and arenât even located in the right place. Menstrual cramping occurs in the pelvis not the stomach because the source is the uterus. Not all women suffer with cramping but no women without a uterus suffer from menstrual cramps although they may still have some side affects of HRT.
There are smooth muscles that line your perineum. Those are the supraperineal (meaning over the perineum) smooth muscles. Smooth muscles are controlled autonomically, all the muscles you just listed are skeletal muscles that are controlled intentionally. As for the rest of what you said, it's just wrong.
The perineum has absolutely nothing to do with the stomach. And yes those muscles can sometime spasm during a period but the pain is located againâŚdeep in the pelvis or anus area. Are you talking about the superficial transverse perineal muscle? Can you show me where youâre getting this information please so I can better understand?
Why are you fixated on the stomach? You know that most people call their abdomen their stomachs, right? Like "stomach pain" is what people with appendicitis say they have when it's lower right abdominal...
Because it matters if youâre making medical claims that stomach muscles are the cause of menstrual cramps. Thatâs misleading, like I said in my original comment. Some of the words youâre using donât even exist and seem to be a mash up of several things which makes your point difficult to understand. Iâm curious where you got this information. You can choose to take this as a personal attack or you can take the opportunity to educate yourself.
Oh yeah, it's not something everyone gets. I was experiencing daggers right where (I feel like) the uterus would be for the past two days. Comes complete with being super emotional, horny, digestive issues, and food cravings!
I've had a doctor ask me what happened while I was unconcious, telling me to do more sports after I told him I cycled 20 km per day and telling me to drink more water when I was already at ~4L per day. In the end, they didn't even figure out why I was unconcious/not quite concious for what according to my partner was about an hour. Let's just say I don't generaly trust doctors to actualy care at all about my health unless they have proven otherwise and just expect them to dismiss any issues I might have. If I tell a doctor that knows I'm trans about my monthly cramps, mood swings and shits, they just don't belive me. If they don't know, they tell me that's just my period. At this point I just don't tell them anymore about me being trans because that doesn't help at all and just opens doors for discrimination. bUt wHaT iF iT iS iMpOrTaNt fOr tHeM tO kNoW? They don't even care enough at all to even figure out what's wrong, so there isn't realy a point in telling them anything they probably don't even understand.
That would be because the cramps diarrhea and mood swings are your period? Are you not aware that Trans people still get periods?
Well, I am aware of that issue, but doctors? Usualy not, where I live even the doctors who perscribe HRT barely know what they are doing
I don't, however I do routinely get asked if I might be pregnant every time I go to hospital for anything.
yep, but an even better one is a doctor wouldnt even do anything until we confirmed i wasnt pregnant, he was so sure i was pregnant
Closest I've gotten was an X-ray tech asking when my last period was (which is a legit question, because you shouldn't get an X-ray if you're pregnant).
I've had one instance of the opposite happening (an obscure diagnosis when it was in fact just a period) and that was very early on in my transition and neither my doctor nor I knew that trans women could get periods at the time
My gender care provider actually wanted me to keep a journal of period like symptoms for documentation about trans women. My doctor is cool but she's also one in a million.
No :( but when I went to get blood work done they thought I was getting a birth control shot one time soooo
Isnât there some OB/GYN issues that AFABs face that become a diagnostic issue if they occur during multiple monthly cycles? Kind of like the generic warning on an antacid OTC or stool softener OTC?
Those "doctors" are not real doctors