Mum is my biggest support, she kind of always knew so 1.
Dad, I stopped living with him around 5 Y.O (I'm 24MtF) he is not supportive, he was always aware I was different and try his best to change that, of course, my mom stopped him and leave, he is a big misogynistic to the point my sister was disowned for being a girl and when I was born he was really happy but I guess karma is bitch (you are right Jojo Siwa 💀) and I end up transitioning and being disowned as well so 6.
My sister I imagine would be supportive but she passed away at 14 so we will never know.
Conservative African diaspora family, so unfortunately not at all :/
I have my chosen family though!
the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb ❤️❤️❤️❤️🏳️⚧️ much love to all of you
They fundamentally despise bigotry, they just had never thought about trans issues at all and had a lot of unexamimed assumptions and preconceptions to deal with.
When they said shitty things I pointed them out. They could get emotional from it, but they never said it again. In the beginning they refused to use my name, cried, called me selfish, and said other much worse things I won't write here. After two weeks of emotionally intense discussions they used my name and pronouns and after six months they were completely supportive.
I'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself to them, I myself am finding that rather difficult, and I'm glad your parents came around but my parents bigotry is deeply rooted in their religion so I don't expect I can make much headway.
Similar. Parents were level 5 ("be grateful we didn't kick you out" type). Now after 4 years and 3 years living alone, they are probably level 2-2.5. I don't expect too much more as they are in a Catholic Cult. But they do see how much happier I am.
I swear I never understood parents like this. There's plenty of cis men that shave their body hair. It's just grooming and hygienic. I don't know where this idea comes from that shaving = feminine. Look at any male body builder or professional swimmer..
I know how that feels like too. You will definitely get to a safe place and flourish over time. Yur fathers will actually love the women you are eventually
Level 6. I would rather not refer to them as family or any type of affectionate words. They were my abusers and getting kicked out was the best thing that could have happened to me.
I'm sorry that happened... What did you do afterwards? How did you come out? How did you deal with being kicked out? (Questioning because my dad is a level 6 and I'm on estrogen and doubt it will be a secret much longer)
I was on E for 2 months at the time. My parents left the city to visit grandparents. I sent a text message to them and closed my phone. I did this while literally being in a pile of trans fems. Honestly they are what tethers me to this life. My school offers free dorms for abuse victims so I am currently here. after graduation in a couple months i will apply for asylum to a country with a few people I know living there. Hopefully live the rest of my life there.
I wish I had similar access to dorms, but I'm glad your safe now. A pile of trans fems? Are you poly? (Also thats adorable). What place are you from, and where are you seeking asylum? I might need to do the same seeing that thd USA is going downhill
Yeah i am very fortunate to have what I have. Yup a pile of trans fems. I am poly actually! (Thank you :3) i am from a shitty eastern European country that i will not name due to privacy reasons. I am thinking of a northern European country like the Netherlands. If you do too maybe we can be roommates. Would be nice
I have had the same idea of the Netherlands, I am poly with a bunch of people in the US (few are kinda sprawled out tho) and we do kinda wanna take asylum somewhere if things go awry (more than likely yes). I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this tho :( people are shit sometimes.
Years and years before I transitioned, I had given him a sticker that said "my brother is in the Air Force" and he had it on his toolbox. After I came out, instead of taking off the sticker, or asking for a new one, he just covered up "brother" with painters tape and used a sharpie to write "Sister". 😂
6-7. It is so risky for them to know where I live that I did everything I could so they can't know my address and other stuff, even before I decided to transition
Same, my mom is absolutely level 1, the rest of my family is fine too. Transition really brought my mom and I a lot closer. I'm very fortunate to have her in my life.
A strange mix of 3 and 5. They are trying so hard to pretend it isn't happening I guess. I don't know. I just started transitioning 2 months ago and I just don't talk to them about it anymore because it's easier
My dad's a lvl5, my mom's around lvl4.75, and my sister is at lvl3.5. I'll boymode as much as I can around them, and I'm aiming to work abroad to have even less reasons to go home
Similar situation here, though my sibling is a 1 instead. I haven't completely lost hope, but my patience is pretty much done with them. Lots if effort on my part, no movement on their side even after 4 years. Told them about my impending surgery and they told me I was making a mistake. Gonna see what they do after it happens which will inform my approach to them in the future. Might see them for Chrismas maybe but that's about it.
I do feel kinda bad about it since they aren't like, actively malicious, but it still drains me being around them these days. Hope things work out for you.
2 maybe 3? Sometimes 1
When we are with people who are meeting me for the first time I'm their daughter and they use my name (when they remember at least) but when we are with people that know the old me they act like I'm their son and lastly when we are on our own it's a coin toss for example "[dead name]/son come check this dress out I think you'd like it" or something similar etc
They are even saving up money for my SRS and tbh while it's annoying it's not that big of a deal all things considered
Everyone has slowly moved from 2 to 1 because we are constantly communicating open about everything and I always told them to ask me any questions they have
I'm old so my family is the ex I spent 27 years with, we split because we're going in different directions after my transition but we're closer now as sisters and soulmates, we still love each other just not like that.
She persuaded me that I was allowed to transition and as a big tiddy little goth chick she loves having a girly girl to dress up.
There's also our youngest kid, enby. Their reaction to me coming out was "at last!".
My mum died almost 5 years ago and my dad has dementia so he won't ever know I'm trans. Boymoding when I go to visit is getting a bit dicey. I got rid of all my boy clothes so I'm down to jeggings and my least female coded tops. Luckily he's a bit too far gone to take much in.
Overall I'm going with level 1+
My mom and dad are level 5 all the way, they tried for a month to call me by gender neutral nicknames and pronouns and just gave up after that because it was too difficult, same with my younger sister. My youngest sister is level 6, she does not want to talk to me, she insults me and doesn't want to stay in the same room as me.
It's not too easy to balance job, school and pay for my own gender care at 18.
I currently live with level 5. I'm told that I'm loved and I'm supported. But I'm misgendered all the time and I'm given little remarks all the time about why it's stupid to transition and that I should just choose to be how God made me.
My brother currently has a trans masc roommate and he is a level 1.
My sisters are supportive but don't really understand everything so they are about level 2 to 2.5.
My brother and his family are a 1 (their older son is transmasc), Dad is a 2, Mom is a 5 for religious reasons, I have no intention of my stepfather even finding out.
- Mum = 2
- Dad = 1 or 2 (he had dementia, hard to say. I'm sure he'd have been supportive, especiallyas he told me stories about how he had to play a girl in a school play and stuff).
- Older sis = 2 (she helped me come to terms with my identity, just stubborn).
- Older bro (RIP) = 1 (The greatest support I had)
- Younger sis = 1
- Younger bro = 4 (Only discovered this in the last year, I've been out for 4 years. Respects my name and pronouns, but thinks I'm a "freak").
Mom: 2 moving towards 1 as she learns more.
Father: hard 6. Good thing he's dead.
Step father: 5 & 6, drove me to the brink of unalive several times with constant abuse. Good thing he's dead now, too.
Older sister: she's a bit of a know it all especially when she knows nothing. It's been touch and go because she'll feed me transmedicalist bullshit and flip out when I push back. She's mourning my transition, saying the old me has died blah blah drama. She doesn't want me presenting as female around her family so I don't confuse her husband or kid.
Younger Brother. Supportive, but misgenders me and because he doesn't want to slip when I'm in boy mode at work or somewhere he doesn't think it's safe.
Mines a solid level 5!
Mom, sister, brother went ultra Christian on me.
They accused my wife who is bisexual of turning
Me trans and forcing me to transition because I feel inadequate. ((Which surprise, isn’t true))
Brother ended up being the worst tbh. White nationalist - told us that he thinks black people should have gone back to Africa after slavery.
He won’t let me see my 2 nephews if I continued to feminize myself or grow my hair out.
My mom and sister have since wanted to see me, they’ve lost the right. Fuck them.
The one time in my life where I needed them to not be giant pieces of shit — they went scorched earth and decided to try and wedge themselves between my wife and I to cause issues where there are none.
The more I tell this story the more I’m so fucking disgusting and disappointed.
Level 5; "You're lucky. Your dad is taking this better than any other man I know. They would have thrown you out." -My Stepmom
"Yesterday you said a very true statement, We don't support you." -My Dad
"We just haven't seen any change in you" - Both
I'm not sure I'd mark people down for transmedicalist attitudes since I've largely viewed my own transition as a medical need, but I'm not sure anyone I know knows enough to be having that sort of opinion anyway.
My (step)dad is a top tier ally, he knows nothing and always speaks his mind but he listens and supports and shows an interest in my struggles.
My mum, it's a bit harder to tell since she's not so interested or open about her opinions, but I haven't had any reason to doubt she's not level 1 too. Same for my sister, although I've not really spoken to her that deeply since we're not super close.
I'm really fortunate in that my parents and all my close friends are solid 1s. Like some true steadfast allies. I'm an only child, and my parents are ex-catholics, so we have a very close relationship without the religious factor adding a whole different level of bigotry. While the vast majority of my family doesn't know, the ones who do have been quite supportive, and the other ones who don't are liable to be around 3-4. That'll be a conversation for a later day I suppose.
Lvl 2 and 5
Supports me, but won't call me anything but dead name, never uses my pronouns, helps me find womens clothes and takes me to get nails done sometimes, still voting for politicians that want me dead with a smile on her face.
It's a very mixed bag of disappointment...
at first at was Lv 5 (almost to 6) but i’m blessed that they opened up and started to educating themselves about it. my mother is lv 1, siblings are lv 2, however my father and any of my elderly are still lv 5. thankful but i hope every family members, from mine to yours, sees us as the person we’re transitioning one day
level 5 gender = agab (my dad), often aggressively misgenders me.
my mom is more at a level 2-3.
the caveat that largely absolves them is i haven't really tried to defend my gender to them or even say im trans, just dressing a lot and dropping hints. i don't have much support right now besides them, so im not insisting on anything. im also not claiming that it's not because im transphobic, or living in a transphobic location. i am doin the best i can with the actually reliable information i currently have, which im sorry to say to the internet isn't actually very much. please no yelling at me, kthxbi
somewhere between 4 and 5 unfortunately, but we are only a month or so in
it went great at first and i had high hopes but it has become clear this will be a LOT of work. they first responded of course they love and accept me, but then shortly i learned they could not bring themselves to use “she,” and from there it has only gotten harder
kudos to my dad, grandpa, and a few extended family who have been fucking perfect through this. i hope having some good Level 1 folks on my side can help bring the others along
I'd say between 2 and 3. I'm pre-HRT and my folks have always been pretty ignorant/indifferent about LGBTQ.
Like I've spoken about HRT and stuff and my mom has been like "You know you'd have to take hormones for the rest of your life?". Yeah.
Level 5. I keep pretty limited contact with both of my parents. Though I do make a point to see my mother once every other month or so.
My sister on the other hand is awesome and incredibly supportive. I do have another sibling and while they're supportive too, we don't really talk for other reasons.
Pretty much level 2 for most of them and level 1 for some.
They are absolutely clueless, but are happy for me. They spout some nonsense but when I show them that it is not the case, they understand and learn. (E.g. "scared of trans being a trend.") and stuff like that.
Also, my mom was super scared at first that I'd just get hate crimed on the spot immediately and wanted me "to hide it for my own safety". When I told her she has the choice of a dead son or a happy daughter, she suddenly was very supportive. xD She just had no idea what level of importance these things have for some people.
Mom is between 1 and 2. Completely supportive, but makes mistakes due to lack of knowledge (but always in an attempt to do good)
Dad is a 3, I think? He told me he was happy I figured myself out, but he thought I was gay (I’m lesbian and ace, and repulsed by men, so..) He had some bad reactions to attempts to present fem, is often clumsy ("Let the men do it" when talking about him and I working on something to my step mom), he’s very misogynistic and basically did no research.
He’s probably the main reason I have a hard time doing anything other than HRT, since I live with him. He also isn’t privy to my mental health issues, whereas I’ve been a lot more open and comfortable with my mom on that front.
Brother is a 1, mom is a 2 but she doesn't gender me correctly 95% of the time (I dotn say anything, I just look at her with an angry face).
Dad is a mystery. I'm betting a 4 considering he never opposed me shaving my body or having long hair. But his friends are horrible alt-righters and he's constantly exposed to fake news on his phone.
My mum is amazing. When I was in the hospital for srs she came to visit me every single day even tough I told her not to. She’s over 70 and had to walk take a train then another train.
I got only her so can’t talk for others. My dad is dead since 11 years.
So I'm probably in a unique situation, but I'll do my best to rank them;
Sisters: 1 or 2
Parents (mother and stepdad): mom 3, stepdad 1
X in-laws: 1, but severely lack knowledge on the subject
Xwife: 1, but don't want to know to mutch about it do it hurting a lot (can understand that)
Half sister and cousin: whatever is above 1.. like 0 🥰
So ya, mixed bag but mostly supportive
For me it's kinda complicated. In February I was kinda forced to come out, as my, likely intoxicated, mother suddenly asked me "Are you gay?" Me, confused as hell, just stood there, not knowing what to say or why the question arose. She just continued on saying how I take care of my look a lot, wear jewellery, paint my nails, and have better eyebrows than her, and then she asks that maybe I feel like a girl or something, since years ago I said I don't like my name etc. I'm still there confused, and my brother was arguing with her that I don't need to say nothing if I don't want to. But to alleviate the mutual confusion I half-assed it and said "Gender? I hardly know-er!" or essentially said I don't care bout either my own gender or a partner's, even though that's not quite the truth.
Then, last month there was a pride event in my home town that I wanted to attend in my usual hyperfemme look (by then I lived in a different city for college) but I found out my family's going to that too, so I was scared, but decided to just surprise the with that look they've never seen me in. I expected confusion on their part, or at least them to be in any way surprised, but when I came out of my room looking like that, all my mother said was "Oo I like your eyeliner!" and went on her way. Like?? Quite literally no reaction.
And they still continue to he/him and deadname me, but that's coz I never explicitly said I'm a trans woman, but honestly that's like, kinda better coz I don't like huge changes, and can't be looking as my top feminine self all the time around the house. But they do accept and like when I do look as I prefer to, so as long as I can feel happy doing that, and they're fine with that also, then it's all good. So I guess I'd say like a benevolent mixture of levels 1 and 5 lmao
Lvl 5.
They can't help but bring up every person they see they think is trans or gay.
Friday was in the car and drove by dept of transportation and Dad said "that's where they send all the transgender"
Last weekend he was complaining how he moved out and was paying bills and saving up at 16 years old what the fuck is his children's problems he still has to pay for them.
Doesn't matter how many hours a day I spend doing things exclusively for other people in the house or other family members. Whatever I do never could be enough before and certainly never will be. Few more years I'll stick them into a retirement home they oh so have never wanted.
My quality of health is poor due to IBD and a few other autoimmune diseases or issues that prevent me from being dependent on myself.
5. I wish they'd give me the courtesy of not pretending they are loving still. It's been 6-7 months since I told the family. Not a single one of them has reached out or been willing to hear my story in its entirety. Not even once!
Lv2 but leaning lv1 my dad is a solid 2 and most of my family are now my mom is like 1.5lv she is learning but fully supportive but still doesn't understand but my cousin Catlin is a solid lv1 she was the only one from day one that swapped to she her for me no issue but she does have a few trans friends so that help a lot.
it's kind of a mix of 1 and 2 so far
1 because my sister is completely supportive, and 2 because i don't think my dad understands the full meaning too much
Mine are level 5, not malicious, and they think that they are doing what's best for me, but they're never gonna support me in this way.
It's why I don't live with them anymore
Ok so my parents are level 1 :D They are doing most everything right. Helps that they have a handful of trans friends themselves so they have experience with this stuff. Also, my spouse came out years and years ago so they had a bit of a practice run so to speak lol.
When I came out, the only trepidation they had was due to my weekend job working as the stage crew chief for a mid size country music venue in Texas. However, I've slowly been presenting increasingly fem at work over the past 2 years and so far I've had literally 0 issues with any of my coworkers or musicians or bar patrons being bigoted over my presentation. The DJ is a big burly guy and he threatened to fight anyone who gives me shit, and two of my stage hands are trans women who I have been friends with since high school.
As far as the people I live with, well, I have 2 roommates who are trans girls and my spouse is a nonbinary trans guy and they're all awesome ⭐ 🖤
Brother: 1.5
Dad: 1.5
Mom: 4.5
Mom thinks I'm full of shit, unfortunately. She has psychoanalysed me in a way that is not charitable in the slightest and is completely incorrect. She also told me that she was grateful she never had daughters. I'm always polite and respectful because she doesn't yell or hound me, I ask how she's feeling about it periodically and I don't want to punish her for being honest. But after the last time we talked, I think I'm done asking.
Idk if she'll ever believe me or come around, but it is what it is. Honestly it sucks to feel rejected by the only other woman in the house. I feel like I can't ask her girl questions like I did before coming out. She was "supportive" of me exploring makeup, nail polish, light crossdressing, aiming for a more androgynous/fem haircut, etc. she even bought me my first makeup set for Christmas and taught me how to do it prior. And then I came out as trans and it suddenly wasn't cool for her anymore 🙃
I’m 42, and my dad is 65. My stepmom is a few years younger. I came out earlier this year.
My dad is a 2. He’s actually been very supportive, he just has absolutely zero knowledge of anything not cishet so he’ll occasionally make a comment that’s just a little insensitive. Not out of maliciousness, he just doesn’t know.
My stepmom is about a 1.3. She lived in San Francisco for years and has been around queer people, so she navigates it well. She’s asked like a handful of… rude, I guess? … questions (the dreaded surgery question) but otherwise have been completely supportive.
Both have not misgendered or deadnamed me except for once or twice immediately after I came out.
My bio-mom I haven’t talked to in years. She has an undiagnosed personality disorder (cluster B). I don’t know where she’d be on the scale but, based on how my childhood went, probably towards the bottom.
Sister is a 4-5. She said maybe 10 words to me the entire time we were at a family reunion a few weeks ago, and never even used my name or a pronoun at all on me. She’s a pretty conservative Christian.
My grandparents, who are in their late 80s and early 90s, have been the biggest surprise. They are solid 1-2s and have not missed a single name or pronoun.
Father in law is a 1-2. He completely supports us and is far too polite to say or do anything that might be offensive.
Mother in law is probably a 3, but I also don’t think that’s a fully fair assessment because I suspect she is showing early signs of dementia. She really struggles with names and pronouns but I never get the impression that it’s malicious.
My mom I'm pretty sure is a level 2, my dad could be anywhere from 2-4 b/c I just recently told my parents I wanted to use female pronouns/gendered language and my preferred name and my mom immediately started trying to use it and idk my dad's reaction.
My two sisters are both level 1, as is my one sister's long term boyfriend.
Level 3, I think. It's hard to tell because my parents never really struggled with the change. They never had issues with using my name or pronouns, but they also don't ask questions. Whenever I talk about something trans related they change the subject so. It's been coming up on 15 years now and they still act this way.
(5) My dad and step mom (with a couple relatives) know I’m trans. My step mom attempts to not call me him but very rarely gets it right, dad does not.
The relatives just call it a “condition”
(1)The only person in family that fully supports me is my sister. She has absolutely been amazing by making me feel like her sis.
(1)All of my friends (except work) know I’m trans and all have been supportive and make me happy.
Idk where to place my parents. My dad said he forgot that I told them, and my mom only did weird comments when we were alone for a year.
For a minimum of 6 years they have known, but nowhere did I ever seen any support, no interest in me etc, just as if nothing ever happened.
I'm severely depressed since puberty hit, I'm not able to do anything without some support, and severe social anxiety is preventing me from even calling a doctor or informing myself.
They know of all this stuff, even told me they've always known my struggles. Still got forced to do everything on my own without help, I got completely ignored.
Last december I finally managed to get on hrt on my own, started to transition publicly and everything kinda went downhill with them since then, especially with my mom.
Its night and day between my parents and my friends. One day I felt so immensely dysphoric around my mom, I left and wrote her a long message about how I felt about her and how I wished I mattered and would have loved to get even some sliver of help etc. My friends asked to see my message and all started to cry for me, but my mom only defended herself in response. She even walked into my home to hold a monologue (saying for example "you need just some more sunlight for you depression", "you need to put up some incense sticks to smoke out the depression", "I didnt help cause you would get medicated" etc).
I've since then gone no contact with her and even had to block her on eastern when she started to emotionally abuse/gaslight me for some unrelated stuff.
Only one of my brothers has been around lv1-2 so far.
He's been the only one I've heard to call me his sister, just as if I have always been his sister.
My mum gets angry whenever I mention gender issues, I have to hide I'm DIYing, she doesn't let me wear a skirt or make up, or paint my nails (even tho I've been an adult for 4 years now)
2, it's obvi gonna take some time and to here credit I'm not very feminine in the slightest yet but for example she seen a facebook post saying "only boys can do this" and it was some body challenge, she said "so maybe you can do it" right to me when earlier in that day I was litsrally at a pride festival and we've being taking about me being trans all day. It'll take some time
level 1 - level 2. they still have a lot to learn but in general they are awesome and I'm so glad to have them. I know how much of a privilege that is in our community, unfortunately :/
My mom is a level one. She originally thought I was joking (only for like 10 seconds). She’s done everything for me. She’s already planning on being my helper when I go through GRS. She’s been great. My wife is a level 2. She’s sorta supportive, but isn’t sure about our relationship because she’s not attracted to women. Other friends and family are 1s.
Haven't come out to my parents, but I expect Level 5. Level 6 is possible too.
My sister on the other hand is \~Level 1, and if she was transphobic too, I probably wouldn't even be here.
Level 4 parents, level 2 siblings.
Parents mostly ignore my transness with some of the wildest mental acrobatics that I’ve ever seen a human be capable of. They only occasionally try to convince me that I’m making a mistake, but are otherwise neutral.
Mom: 4 always guilt tripping though
Father: 6 because of repeatedly beating the trans out of me in early childhood, then disowned later in life
Husband: 3/4 it's complicated both for me and him
Lvl 6…I’m not even out yet because when I was twelve, I began questioning. Dad presented my search history to the entire family during a gathering. (I think it was Christmas, but I can barely remember anything about that day.) After that, I repressed it deeply. I’m 30 now and can’t even bring myself to wear panties to bed in the privacy of my own room.
somewhere between level 1 and 2 for most of them. my dad is pretty much completely supportive and is really good with everything. he's unironically my best supporter. my step mom on the other hand claims to support me and does buy me some women's clothes from time to time, but also for some reason loves to use old photos of me for holiday cards and gifts for other people (including my dad 😞) this I'd imagine is ignorance but it really does hurt a lot especially because I'd imagine girl to girl she'd realize how ugly I looked in those photos and I wished she'd opt for my better and more recent photos. my sister is also such a great supporter for me and the rest of my siblings are def somewhere mixed between level 1 and 2 where they understand and support me but I feel have internalized transphobia/misogyny that they need to work through
I just came out to my mom & twin brother to start. They were both 100% supportive, no reservations or iffyness at all, just “we love you and support you no matter what” attitudes. It’s great! It’s only been a week and I haven’t seen them in person yet since, so idk if some awkwardness will pop up when I have painted nails or whatever— when the femme starts coming out actually— but I feel so safe and supported. I feel like my other teo sibs will be the same. Dad, on the other hand… will probably be a 3-4? Or maybe just a very awkward, avoiding the topic at all costs 1-2.
My ex shifted from level 1 to leaving me within a year. Like she went with me to my first HRT appointment and picked up my meds from the pharmacy when I had the prescription. She sat beside me for all the hard conversations with my family and was always really good about name and gender stuff with me. Something kinda snapped around 5 months in and she asked me to leave the bedroom. Things were basically over at that point. We tried couples therapy but our therapist was useless, I felt like I was the only one putting in the work.
My parents were shocked. None of the levels listed really fit. They wanted to be supportive at first but didn’t really know how to do that. They were never actively hostile but had trouble with the name and pronouns stuff, which probably isn’t helped by the fact they live in a different country and I only see them in person maybe once a year. They wouldn’t call me daughter and mom cried pretty often when I talked about things. Then, they came out for my birthday earlier this year and got to see me moving through my life as Alice and kinda snapped into being really strong supporters. We were at a farmers market and I was looking at something in one of the stalls and mom came up behind me and somehow introduced me as her daughter. Dad is still a little awkward about things but is warming as well. They’re “out” to all their friends as far as telling them that their daughter is transgender so they’re not really trying to hide it which I view as a positive development.
My father is 2, by your definitions. Though I personally consider him to be completely supportive. It’s not his fault he’s a 70 year old idiot. And he would definitely do anything I asked him to in terms of help and support.
My gestational unit is 5. Though she probably would’ve been a 6 or 7 if I weren’t an adult and 600 miles away upon coming out. We don’t talk, and probably won’t ever again. Good riddance.
My mom: 2.5? I don't think she's taking it seriously nor sees me as a girl yet but also she's fine with helping me get HRT so....eh.
No one else in my family is aware yet outside of my former step dad AFAIK.
Mom level 1.25 : She is very supportive but sometimes does not understand some stuff.
Dad level 1.5: Same as mom except he is probably super scared and will be against me socially transitioning. Also he has more misconceptions.
Also both of them were against me diying hrt so thats it
My mother definitely level 1. When I outed myself to her she was supportive even though she didn't understand it. She just wanted me to be happy. I think at first it was kinda hard for her to get used to it (one time she said to me that I'll never be a real woman) but now she's fully supportive, even occasionally saying that I look like a cis woman and she could never think that I could be a man. The only thing she thinks is important is that I tell people I'm going out with or have a crush on that I'm trans, it's really important for her that my potential partner knows.
Her boyfriend is kinda supportive. He accepts me but was kinda passive about the whole process. He did call me my deadname twice because he made fun of me for burping as a woman, then I told him that I won't tolerate this kind of behavior and he never did it again. He's the only person that (accidentally ) misgendered me this year. So yeah he's there.
My brother is also pretty neutral. Last year he said that he wouldn't want me to go to a woman's toilet if he was a woman and it's very important to him that not accepting a trans person is an opinion you have to respect just like every other opinion. But he uses my preferred (meanwhile my legal lmao) name and pronouns so yeah.
My Grandparents fully accept me. For them being trans has something to do with my genetics so I didn't choose it or something and it's stupid to not accept me. They're trying their best but often misgender me (the last time I saw them was last summer when I outed myself to them). My grandmother likes my female voice haha.
I'm not really close with my half sister. She's like 20 years older than me and lived with the family of her mother anyways. I outed myself on Christmas last year and she took it well. She was a bit shocked but accepted me. The only thing was that her immediate questions was if I'm going to have surgery or not. That was the last time I saw her.
The rest of my family lives 6 to 7 hours away from me. I'm out to them because my mom put my real name on postcards for Christmas and stuff. I never got any response if they approve that I'm trans or not and I don't think that I have to know. Before the pandemic I saw them only once maybe twice a year now I don't see them at all and I'm perfectly fine with it
So yeah I'm quite lucky with how my family reacted when I came out. They respect my name and pronouns and that's all I want
mom began at a 5 & is now a solid 2 average after 10 years of me teaching her/fighting with her etc. sometimes she slips back to a 3 and i have to reeducate her. sometimes she is a 1 but only since I began grad school. its quite variable, but general vibe is support especially bc she defends me from her dad who has stayed at a 3 to 5 depending on the convo
dad began at a 2 & is now a 1. he began totally supportive but was extremely transmedicalist due to ignorance. he mainly listens without speaking these days bc he is scared of getting things wrong.
Brother and SiL were Level 2 from the start. I kinda want to say 1 because they make a hell of an effort, but they definitely are misinformed and occasionally say something silly.
Mother started off Level 3 but has come around and is now 2, and I don't see her ever getting to 1. Also misinformed, and she's very careful with language and takes active steps in mending our relationship, which is sweet. But she's also made it clear there's mother-daughter activities she won't touch, like teaching me to do make-up.
Father is a hard Level 5. My mother says he's going to come around to it, but at this point I don't think I care. Says he loves me, says he wants to see me, but flat out refuses to call me a woman or by my real name and use the correct pronouns. I made it clear we are not interacting anymore unless he gets better.
Funny enough, my MiL is Level 1. She's probably the most supportive cis person I know and an absolute treasure. When I came out to her she was immediately super happy and enthusiastic for me and offered to buy me my first pair of pantyhose, which is the funniest set of priorities ever. Helps that my BF is trans so she's already gone through the whole thing before
Level 5 with my mom who I came out to, we dont discuss it
Level 6 for my dad if I every came out or he ever caught wind of it
Level 3 for my older sister, she isnt helpful and kinda ignorant and really doesnt try
Level 2/1 for my younger sis, she's 11 and supportive, just young thats all
Currently :
Mum = 1
Dad = 1
Brother = 1
Cousin 1 = 1
Cousin 2 = 1.5-2
When I first came out as a woman :
Mum = 2
Dad = 3
Brother = 1
Cousin 1 = 1
Cousin 2 = 1
When I first came out as trans (enby) :
Mum = 4
Dad = 4
Brother = 1
Cousin 1 = 1
When I came out as GNC initially :
Mum = 5
Dad = 6
Brother = 1
My Mum and her partner are like Level 1 him even wanting to help me get HRT outside of my country if things go badly , and my Mum like basically kickstarted my wardrobe gifting me tons of girl clothes. My Grandparents kinda took some time to get used to it but are super supportive now
Unfortunate level 6 for me. Family made the house too hostile to live in, constant fights and violence that resulted in me turning to an abusive boyfriends house. I dont speak to any of my family anymore as most attempts end with misgendered, ignored or physical violence over and over. Its been 4 years since i started transitioning
Mum: somewhere between 2 and 5. She jumps around unpredictably
Brother: 1. Unerringly 1.
Sister: Dunno. I'll tell you when she starts speaking to me again.
(Mom) Started as a level 5 to me, but was still generally supportive of queer rights. Now that I'm farther in my transition, she's a level one :(
I just wish I didn't have to prove myself.
My mother is level 4
My father I don't know because I have never told him and not sure if can. My father is from west africa. My father side of family would be level 6 for sure.
My mother side of the family is level of support is unknown.
Mom is 1. She's just scared of the secondary effects of HRT but still helps me to get it. I don't know how she will react to bottom surgery.
My father is between 3 and 4, leaning 3 because, since my mother is on my side, he doesn't really have a choice. At least according to my mother. I've yet to hear him gender me correctly.
I haven't come out to them. Judging from what what I know of them, which is very little, I'd have to gamble and say they're level 3. My mom might be level 2.5 and my dad might be level 3.5. Wishing to be supportive but struggling to and wishing to be supportive but struggling really hard to believe me in the first place, respectively.
Sibling is Level 1: She has been one of my greatest supporters and is trans herself (though she prefers not to transition) so she gets what it's like.
Mom is Level 2: She tries her best but still doesn't understand some things. But she has always supported me as much as she could. She has gained lots of knowledge and understanding ever since I told her I was trans. Her intentions are definitely level 1 but I can see her actually reaching that level in the near future.
Father is Level 5: Unfortunately he never accepted me nor has he ever called me by my name and pronouns nor ever called me his daughter, in fact he sometimes even "corrects" others when they gender me correctly. Every day he has a new "theory" about why I *think* I'm trans, anything except me actually being trans, and over time has fallen more and more into the far-right bigoted rabbit hole (about everything, not just trans people). Despite all this he still acts like nothing happens and helps me outside of my transition. I know he loves me, but not as his daughter, and despite that love, he still hurts me a lot with his eternal denial and lack of respect for me (that he somehow can't see). I honestly avoid seeing him since it's just so draining every time, especially since I'm already 2+ years out to him and 1+ years out in general and I can't keep going to a place that feels like I never transitioned when the rest of my life has moved on, but at the same time, not seeing him means not seeing my mom which hurts because she has been one of my best supporters.
Father: 4. He "disagrees with being trans" whatever that means but values peace within the family over anything else.
Egg Donor: 5. She hated me from an early age because I couldn't be exactly what she wants. I was low contact long before my egg cracked.
Sister: 5. Started at 1 but fell into the Blair white/Marcus dib "true trans" shit which led her further and further into the homophobic pipeline.
Brothers: 4. They do the same as my father.
Grandparents: 2. All three living grandparents are very supportive, though they don't know much and so sometimes say things they shouldn't.
Mom was level 1 before she passed away.
Dad seemed like 2 to my face, but he was a different kind of weird in private and other issues. Like, he would talk to me like normal, but he told people his son died. He yelled at me once day about politics and liberal policies in general shortly after Trump was elected. He was watching Fox News at the time, and that was before all of the trans hate started filling the conservative media. I can only imagine how he feels now. I haven't talked to him after he blew up at me over politics 7 years ago.
The majority of my family I had contact with pre-coming out is at a 1, except for my dad, who is probably a 5 or so unfortunately. He's been poisoned by insane right wing conspiracies.
My dad is like a 3, doesn't care at all relatively supportive, my mom is a 4, maybe a 5, but trying not to present as such. She just seems like she's faking it, but I mean, at least she's trying, I guess. I think she's pushing past what she believes to help support me, but ultimately is still very Christian and conservative, so I can't tell if she's actually supportive or if it's just a front...
My dad is like a 3, doesn't care at all relatively supportive, my mom is a 4, maybe a 5, but trying not to present as such. She just seems like she's faking it, but I mean, at least she's trying, I guess. I think she's pushing past what she believes to help support me, but ultimately is still very Christian and conservative, so I can't tell if she's actually supportive or if it's just a front...
None of the options really fits, in my case, as it heavily depends on the direction you cut it.
- My mom (which I live with) is very much supportive, and has accepted it fast. She's learning as she goes.
- My dad's a raging racist and homophobe. Since my parents are divorced and I haven't seen him in a long time, I didn't bother coming out to him. Probably never will unless he calls about it after learning from someone else, or if I see him face to face again for some reason. He never made an effort to keep in touch, I'm not gonna waste my mental health on him, especially since he alrady doesn't like that my sister (same dad, different mom) was in a relationship with another woman.
- My grandma and aunt, on my dad's side, have accepted me immediatly and are very supportive, though quite awkward and uneducated about it. But the heart is there.
- Apparently, my dad's two brothers will probably accept me as well according to their sister, but I haven't bothered coming out to them yet. It'll happen naturally someday.
- On my mom's side, one of her sisters has accepted me easily, as did one of her sons (who's bi, leaning towards gay). Her other 3 are a mixed bag so I didn't bother.
- The rest of my mom's siblings will likely insult me, call me a pervert, a pedophile, a rapist, etc. So they cna all go rot in hell for all I care. Same goes with her mom.
- Both my grampas are out of the picture, one died way before I was born, the other one a few years before I cracked my egg (though he probably wouldn't have understood much, old school portuguese man that he was).
So yeah.
It's a fun mess...
3 or 4. I haven’t asked them to use she/her pronouns or a feminine name yet. I’m still working up the courage to do so (and I also want to pass a bit better first… so waiting on my hair 😅)
Mom: Likes that I’m alive, but says she sees herself as a failure for this happening, and won’t say it, but definitely wants me to stop. (She still pays for my phone/train bill at least.”
Dad: Doesnt talk to me anymore.
Sister: Tolerates me.
Cousins: Love and support
Aunts on mom’s side: Love and support.
Uncles on mom’s side: Half love, half dislike/hand-wave.
Aunts/Uncles on dad’s side: “Ehh… idc, they’re beefing like crazy and the family drama there is nuts.”
A mixed bag for sure, but I’ll be fine. I do wanna talk to my dad again though. I wanna clear some stuff up with him, but I fear he’d do something kinda crazy if I saw him IRL with a surprise visit or something, so…. Idk.
My younger sister and my eldest son support me, rarher indirectly, because the live in USA and I live in Thailand. We corresond only by email. I deketed my facebook and twitter accounts
Lvl 4 when I first came out - my parents tried to talk me out of it, but I was an independent adult, it was a fait accompli, and I made it clear I was merely informing them.
Over the next several years as I spent time with them and they saw how happy I was, they came around to the total support of lvl 1.
My mom is a 2, Dad died before I transitioned, but I think he would have been supportive, just very little knowledge about the community., Wife and kids are all 1, but extended family is where we had lots of trouble. My wife's family became irate and violent(Catholics)6 for them. So 95% or her family we are NC with as well as most of my extended family. The people who matter most, love me, so I call that a win.
Ermm, hard to say on the criteria listed. My parents have no issue with me being on HRT and are happy to see me be happy, but they still deadname and misgender me (granted we have lots of Amazon Echo's at home and good luck persuading them to change that habit...), and they're not fully on-board with everything to do with trans people in society.
My dad threatened to kill me if I didn't stop acting like a girl when I was a kid and my mom just doesn't care - she doesn't think trans-ness us a true thing, but doesn't particular care how I live my life. My brother's supportive and an ally.
My adoptive parents have really been nothing but great. Level 1! They were concerned at first because they couldn't understand transition and were concerned for my health, but once they saw how alive and vibrant I became, they got fully onboard. It took about 6 months for them to wrap their heads around the fact that I'm their daughter, but they'd known me for 22 years as a guy and they were in their upper 60's when I began transition so they've really exceeded my expectations. At my first Xmas being a girl, my Mom said "You being a girl now is *so great*, gifts are easy, clothes clothes clothes!!! It totally sucked trying to figure out what to get you before!" Siblings are wonderful - my sister gave me basically all her clothes.
The sperm donor has been out of my life since graduation because he was an abusive piece of shit who would beat me and rip out my long hair. He's been dead a *long* time now. The egg donor hasn't been in my life since 9th grade and doesn't know if I'm dead or alive, nor does she care. And she'll never know anything about me. Definitely would have been a level 6, maybe a 7.
My mother supports trans rights even more than trans people themselves. But somehow, she told me that I got 0 feminine trades, I'm masculine, I have that masculine supportive power with myself, and "You're not just like them [MTF trans]"
Considering half my hamily are jehovah cultists, other half being right leaning conservatives in general, yeah... I've been completely on my own, even going as far as to threaten legal action against my jehovah grandparents for sexual assault, theft, destruction of property and hate crimes
Edit: thankfully not level 6 yet but all of them, both jehovah cult and conservative side land squarely on a 5
Mine started at 5, 6 years ago saying they were level 3 though. Basically pretending like the transition wasn't happening and in the past year since they've seen me happier and passing now they're at 2. They fuck up multiple times but they're at least calling me Val and she her 70% of the time...
Level 4, but they don't do the misgendering to my face, except when my dad wished me a happy Father's Day. They at least use my name around me otherwise.
They're boomers and just look senile if they ever talk about their "son". Sucks for them I guess 🤷♀️
2, i think it would take a while to adjust to and they are definitely a bit uneducated from some conversations I’ve had where they have accidentally hurt my feelings a bit but they definitely would accept me as a daughter, I also think they are scared with HRT but I’m not planning to until I’m 18, overall I think I’m definitely lucky
Wow, that really puts things into perspective.
My mom is a 2, my dad is a 4.5 (he doesn’t respect me at all, but he refuses to stand between me and my medication because he knows he can’t stop me and he doesn’t want to completely burn every bridge between us), and the rest of my family is worse than 5 but slightly better than 6.
Between 4 and 5, leaving more 5. My father is dead, and he'd have been a 6 with physical beating and r@pe (because he already did that). My mother is the above, refuses to use my pronouns (they/them) even once for four years, even after learning I was intersex. Dead names me to her friends and to my family, though not all family (just ones who don't know I changed my name I guess? Why don't they know, I don't know, she's embarrassed of me I guess. It's gender neutral, though more femme.) I even gave up, since I'm using estrogen and going through surgeries, and said if gender neutral is too hard for you, use she/her for me. Most people at work do, and on the streets.
So she ghosted me for two weeks.
Level 6.
A judge even ordered my address to be hidden from public records, to prevent my family from knowing where I live, after my dad tried to murder me. He completely got away with it, too. I haven't spoken to my family in a couple years now.
Mum is my biggest support, she kind of always knew so 1. Dad, I stopped living with him around 5 Y.O (I'm 24MtF) he is not supportive, he was always aware I was different and try his best to change that, of course, my mom stopped him and leave, he is a big misogynistic to the point my sister was disowned for being a girl and when I was born he was really happy but I guess karma is bitch (you are right Jojo Siwa 💀) and I end up transitioning and being disowned as well so 6. My sister I imagine would be supportive but she passed away at 14 so we will never know.
Conservative African diaspora family, so unfortunately not at all :/ I have my chosen family though! the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb ❤️❤️❤️❤️🏳️⚧️ much love to all of you
Chosen/found family 🫶🏼
Started at level 5 but are now at level 1, maybe 1.5.
As a lv5'er ***HOW?!***
They fundamentally despise bigotry, they just had never thought about trans issues at all and had a lot of unexamimed assumptions and preconceptions to deal with. When they said shitty things I pointed them out. They could get emotional from it, but they never said it again. In the beginning they refused to use my name, cried, called me selfish, and said other much worse things I won't write here. After two weeks of emotionally intense discussions they used my name and pronouns and after six months they were completely supportive.
I'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself to them, I myself am finding that rather difficult, and I'm glad your parents came around but my parents bigotry is deeply rooted in their religion so I don't expect I can make much headway.
Yeah, it's much easier when the person recognizes that they are bigoted when it's pointed out, and also dislikes it and wishes to change.
Wow they came around quick. My folks took many years.
Pinch you, you're dreaming It took me a about decade to go from about 4 to 1 for me, and I was very motivated to get there
Similar. Parents were level 5 ("be grateful we didn't kick you out" type). Now after 4 years and 3 years living alone, they are probably level 2-2.5. I don't expect too much more as they are in a Catholic Cult. But they do see how much happier I am.
Level 6 (he threatened to shoot me if i shaved my legs), he can know what i actually am after im in a safe country far away from him.
I know too well how that feels like. Hope we can get to safety soon. Sending love
<3
You can have him arrested for that. Call the police as soon as you're safe to do so
I swear I never understood parents like this. There's plenty of cis men that shave their body hair. It's just grooming and hygienic. I don't know where this idea comes from that shaving = feminine. Look at any male body builder or professional swimmer..
I’d go a step further and say I can’t understand parents who threaten to shoot their kids period
If you're in the US that is illegal and you can have your father arrested for that.
I wish i were in the US, im in saudi arabia.
You are in danger beyond your immediate family. I hope you are able to get out.
Thank you <3
I know how that feels like too. You will definitely get to a safe place and flourish over time. Yur fathers will actually love the women you are eventually
Level 6. I would rather not refer to them as family or any type of affectionate words. They were my abusers and getting kicked out was the best thing that could have happened to me.
I'm sorry that happened... What did you do afterwards? How did you come out? How did you deal with being kicked out? (Questioning because my dad is a level 6 and I'm on estrogen and doubt it will be a secret much longer)
I was on E for 2 months at the time. My parents left the city to visit grandparents. I sent a text message to them and closed my phone. I did this while literally being in a pile of trans fems. Honestly they are what tethers me to this life. My school offers free dorms for abuse victims so I am currently here. after graduation in a couple months i will apply for asylum to a country with a few people I know living there. Hopefully live the rest of my life there.
I wish I had similar access to dorms, but I'm glad your safe now. A pile of trans fems? Are you poly? (Also thats adorable). What place are you from, and where are you seeking asylum? I might need to do the same seeing that thd USA is going downhill
Yeah i am very fortunate to have what I have. Yup a pile of trans fems. I am poly actually! (Thank you :3) i am from a shitty eastern European country that i will not name due to privacy reasons. I am thinking of a northern European country like the Netherlands. If you do too maybe we can be roommates. Would be nice
I have had the same idea of the Netherlands, I am poly with a bunch of people in the US (few are kinda sprawled out tho) and we do kinda wanna take asylum somewhere if things go awry (more than likely yes). I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this tho :( people are shit sometimes.
Sorry things were terrible for you, but I’m glad that you’re out of there then. I hope you’re doing better now ⭐️
Yeah i do thank you. Figuring out the place to live situation. After that hopefully things will be smooth sailing
In that case: best wishes and luck to you ⭐️
Thank you! Same goes for you <3
Brother: Level 1 🥰 Mom and Dad: Level 6 😔
Similar here, my sister is easily a 1. My Dad on the other hand is a 4 who seems to be sliding towards 5.
Yay brother!
Years and years before I transitioned, I had given him a sticker that said "my brother is in the Air Force" and he had it on his toolbox. After I came out, instead of taking off the sticker, or asking for a new one, he just covered up "brother" with painters tape and used a sharpie to write "Sister". 😂
I wonder how many conversations that has started, and how many minds he has changed.
Adorable!
6. Fuck em.
My mom was previously level 4 but I have turned her to level 3. My dad was level 3 and now at level 2.
6-7. It is so risky for them to know where I live that I did everything I could so they can't know my address and other stuff, even before I decided to transition
7: we are strangers to each other
I'mma say level 1.5. I am extremely fortunate.
Same, my mom is absolutely level 1, the rest of my family is fine too. Transition really brought my mom and I a lot closer. I'm very fortunate to have her in my life.
A strange mix of 3 and 5. They are trying so hard to pretend it isn't happening I guess. I don't know. I just started transitioning 2 months ago and I just don't talk to them about it anymore because it's easier
ah, the old “if we ignore it then it goes away right?”
Pretending it isn't happening is exactly what my mum does. She even gets angry whenever I bring up gender issues
My family. I'm trying to decide how I react to this cause at some point they're gonna have a much more difficult time ignoring it.
My dad's a lvl5, my mom's around lvl4.75, and my sister is at lvl3.5. I'll boymode as much as I can around them, and I'm aiming to work abroad to have even less reasons to go home
Similar situation here, though my sibling is a 1 instead. I haven't completely lost hope, but my patience is pretty much done with them. Lots if effort on my part, no movement on their side even after 4 years. Told them about my impending surgery and they told me I was making a mistake. Gonna see what they do after it happens which will inform my approach to them in the future. Might see them for Chrismas maybe but that's about it. I do feel kinda bad about it since they aren't like, actively malicious, but it still drains me being around them these days. Hope things work out for you.
Yes! Exactly how I feel too! Especially the part about malice.
2 maybe 3? Sometimes 1 When we are with people who are meeting me for the first time I'm their daughter and they use my name (when they remember at least) but when we are with people that know the old me they act like I'm their son and lastly when we are on our own it's a coin toss for example "[dead name]/son come check this dress out I think you'd like it" or something similar etc They are even saving up money for my SRS and tbh while it's annoying it's not that big of a deal all things considered
Everyone has slowly moved from 2 to 1 because we are constantly communicating open about everything and I always told them to ask me any questions they have
I'm old so my family is the ex I spent 27 years with, we split because we're going in different directions after my transition but we're closer now as sisters and soulmates, we still love each other just not like that. She persuaded me that I was allowed to transition and as a big tiddy little goth chick she loves having a girly girl to dress up. There's also our youngest kid, enby. Their reaction to me coming out was "at last!". My mum died almost 5 years ago and my dad has dementia so he won't ever know I'm trans. Boymoding when I go to visit is getting a bit dicey. I got rid of all my boy clothes so I'm down to jeggings and my least female coded tops. Luckily he's a bit too far gone to take much in. Overall I'm going with level 1+
Sister and mom : lvl 1 Dad : lvl 2-3 and worsening ...
My mom and dad are level 5 all the way, they tried for a month to call me by gender neutral nicknames and pronouns and just gave up after that because it was too difficult, same with my younger sister. My youngest sister is level 6, she does not want to talk to me, she insults me and doesn't want to stay in the same room as me. It's not too easy to balance job, school and pay for my own gender care at 18.
1 for both of my parents. My mom is Pan, and my Dad is also a Trans Woman, which definitely helps.
Level 6 on a almost dream like day. Probably closer to lvl 50 on any other day.
I currently live with level 5. I'm told that I'm loved and I'm supported. But I'm misgendered all the time and I'm given little remarks all the time about why it's stupid to transition and that I should just choose to be how God made me. My brother currently has a trans masc roommate and he is a level 1. My sisters are supportive but don't really understand everything so they are about level 2 to 2.5.
My brother and his family are a 1 (their older son is transmasc), Dad is a 2, Mom is a 5 for religious reasons, I have no intention of my stepfather even finding out.
They’re not, they basically just pretend it never happened… so 4.5?
3. They really don't care, both in a good and bad way
- Mum = 2 - Dad = 1 or 2 (he had dementia, hard to say. I'm sure he'd have been supportive, especiallyas he told me stories about how he had to play a girl in a school play and stuff). - Older sis = 2 (she helped me come to terms with my identity, just stubborn). - Older bro (RIP) = 1 (The greatest support I had) - Younger sis = 1 - Younger bro = 4 (Only discovered this in the last year, I've been out for 4 years. Respects my name and pronouns, but thinks I'm a "freak").
Level 5 for "safety reasons"
Mom: 2 moving towards 1 as she learns more. Father: hard 6. Good thing he's dead. Step father: 5 & 6, drove me to the brink of unalive several times with constant abuse. Good thing he's dead now, too. Older sister: she's a bit of a know it all especially when she knows nothing. It's been touch and go because she'll feed me transmedicalist bullshit and flip out when I push back. She's mourning my transition, saying the old me has died blah blah drama. She doesn't want me presenting as female around her family so I don't confuse her husband or kid. Younger Brother. Supportive, but misgenders me and because he doesn't want to slip when I'm in boy mode at work or somewhere he doesn't think it's safe.
Mines a solid level 5! Mom, sister, brother went ultra Christian on me. They accused my wife who is bisexual of turning Me trans and forcing me to transition because I feel inadequate. ((Which surprise, isn’t true)) Brother ended up being the worst tbh. White nationalist - told us that he thinks black people should have gone back to Africa after slavery. He won’t let me see my 2 nephews if I continued to feminize myself or grow my hair out. My mom and sister have since wanted to see me, they’ve lost the right. Fuck them. The one time in my life where I needed them to not be giant pieces of shit — they went scorched earth and decided to try and wedge themselves between my wife and I to cause issues where there are none. The more I tell this story the more I’m so fucking disgusting and disappointed.
Level 5; "You're lucky. Your dad is taking this better than any other man I know. They would have thrown you out." -My Stepmom "Yesterday you said a very true statement, We don't support you." -My Dad "We just haven't seen any change in you" - Both
I'm not sure I'd mark people down for transmedicalist attitudes since I've largely viewed my own transition as a medical need, but I'm not sure anyone I know knows enough to be having that sort of opinion anyway. My (step)dad is a top tier ally, he knows nothing and always speaks his mind but he listens and supports and shows an interest in my struggles. My mum, it's a bit harder to tell since she's not so interested or open about her opinions, but I haven't had any reason to doubt she's not level 1 too. Same for my sister, although I've not really spoken to her that deeply since we're not super close.
they “don’t know” even tho I wear makeup and quite fem clothes everyday, and people on reddit tells me I pass as cis…
Level 1
I'm really fortunate in that my parents and all my close friends are solid 1s. Like some true steadfast allies. I'm an only child, and my parents are ex-catholics, so we have a very close relationship without the religious factor adding a whole different level of bigotry. While the vast majority of my family doesn't know, the ones who do have been quite supportive, and the other ones who don't are liable to be around 3-4. That'll be a conversation for a later day I suppose.
Thankfully everyone in my family is a Level 1, everyone is very supportive 🥰
Lvl 2 and 5 Supports me, but won't call me anything but dead name, never uses my pronouns, helps me find womens clothes and takes me to get nails done sometimes, still voting for politicians that want me dead with a smile on her face. It's a very mixed bag of disappointment...
Level 4, BUT they each own 5+ books written by conversion therapists and follow 10+ hate groups on twitter.
2.5
Between 2 and 3 my mom names me by my chosen name but doesn't gender me correctly my brother does both correctly and my dad doesn't even try
Level 1, the rest of my family is level 2-5
My dad level 2, but the rest is level 1 ☺️ My Grandparents often missgender me tho and are in generel pretty disregarding of my feelings.
Not at all, but also not hostile.
at first at was Lv 5 (almost to 6) but i’m blessed that they opened up and started to educating themselves about it. my mother is lv 1, siblings are lv 2, however my father and any of my elderly are still lv 5. thankful but i hope every family members, from mine to yours, sees us as the person we’re transitioning one day
A solid 4
level 5 gender = agab (my dad), often aggressively misgenders me. my mom is more at a level 2-3. the caveat that largely absolves them is i haven't really tried to defend my gender to them or even say im trans, just dressing a lot and dropping hints. i don't have much support right now besides them, so im not insisting on anything. im also not claiming that it's not because im transphobic, or living in a transphobic location. i am doin the best i can with the actually reliable information i currently have, which im sorry to say to the internet isn't actually very much. please no yelling at me, kthxbi
somewhere between 4 and 5 unfortunately, but we are only a month or so in it went great at first and i had high hopes but it has become clear this will be a LOT of work. they first responded of course they love and accept me, but then shortly i learned they could not bring themselves to use “she,” and from there it has only gotten harder kudos to my dad, grandpa, and a few extended family who have been fucking perfect through this. i hope having some good Level 1 folks on my side can help bring the others along
I'd say between 2 and 3. I'm pre-HRT and my folks have always been pretty ignorant/indifferent about LGBTQ. Like I've spoken about HRT and stuff and my mom has been like "You know you'd have to take hormones for the rest of your life?". Yeah.
Level 5. I keep pretty limited contact with both of my parents. Though I do make a point to see my mother once every other month or so. My sister on the other hand is awesome and incredibly supportive. I do have another sibling and while they're supportive too, we don't really talk for other reasons.
Pretty much level 2 for most of them and level 1 for some. They are absolutely clueless, but are happy for me. They spout some nonsense but when I show them that it is not the case, they understand and learn. (E.g. "scared of trans being a trend.") and stuff like that. Also, my mom was super scared at first that I'd just get hate crimed on the spot immediately and wanted me "to hide it for my own safety". When I told her she has the choice of a dead son or a happy daughter, she suddenly was very supportive. xD She just had no idea what level of importance these things have for some people.
Mom is between 1 and 2. Completely supportive, but makes mistakes due to lack of knowledge (but always in an attempt to do good) Dad is a 3, I think? He told me he was happy I figured myself out, but he thought I was gay (I’m lesbian and ace, and repulsed by men, so..) He had some bad reactions to attempts to present fem, is often clumsy ("Let the men do it" when talking about him and I working on something to my step mom), he’s very misogynistic and basically did no research. He’s probably the main reason I have a hard time doing anything other than HRT, since I live with him. He also isn’t privy to my mental health issues, whereas I’ve been a lot more open and comfortable with my mom on that front.
Mine started at level 4, but in 4/5 month they turned in level 2.
Brother is a 1, mom is a 2 but she doesn't gender me correctly 95% of the time (I dotn say anything, I just look at her with an angry face). Dad is a mystery. I'm betting a 4 considering he never opposed me shaving my body or having long hair. But his friends are horrible alt-righters and he's constantly exposed to fake news on his phone.
6, formally disowned, just posted about it
My mum is amazing. When I was in the hospital for srs she came to visit me every single day even tough I told her not to. She’s over 70 and had to walk take a train then another train. I got only her so can’t talk for others. My dad is dead since 11 years.
So I'm probably in a unique situation, but I'll do my best to rank them; Sisters: 1 or 2 Parents (mother and stepdad): mom 3, stepdad 1 X in-laws: 1, but severely lack knowledge on the subject Xwife: 1, but don't want to know to mutch about it do it hurting a lot (can understand that) Half sister and cousin: whatever is above 1.. like 0 🥰 So ya, mixed bag but mostly supportive
Level 5 borderline 6.
Gonna have to go with a level 5 to level 4
For me it's kinda complicated. In February I was kinda forced to come out, as my, likely intoxicated, mother suddenly asked me "Are you gay?" Me, confused as hell, just stood there, not knowing what to say or why the question arose. She just continued on saying how I take care of my look a lot, wear jewellery, paint my nails, and have better eyebrows than her, and then she asks that maybe I feel like a girl or something, since years ago I said I don't like my name etc. I'm still there confused, and my brother was arguing with her that I don't need to say nothing if I don't want to. But to alleviate the mutual confusion I half-assed it and said "Gender? I hardly know-er!" or essentially said I don't care bout either my own gender or a partner's, even though that's not quite the truth. Then, last month there was a pride event in my home town that I wanted to attend in my usual hyperfemme look (by then I lived in a different city for college) but I found out my family's going to that too, so I was scared, but decided to just surprise the with that look they've never seen me in. I expected confusion on their part, or at least them to be in any way surprised, but when I came out of my room looking like that, all my mother said was "Oo I like your eyeliner!" and went on her way. Like?? Quite literally no reaction. And they still continue to he/him and deadname me, but that's coz I never explicitly said I'm a trans woman, but honestly that's like, kinda better coz I don't like huge changes, and can't be looking as my top feminine self all the time around the house. But they do accept and like when I do look as I prefer to, so as long as I can feel happy doing that, and they're fine with that also, then it's all good. So I guess I'd say like a benevolent mixture of levels 1 and 5 lmao
That’s kind of cute actually
Lvl 5. They can't help but bring up every person they see they think is trans or gay. Friday was in the car and drove by dept of transportation and Dad said "that's where they send all the transgender" Last weekend he was complaining how he moved out and was paying bills and saving up at 16 years old what the fuck is his children's problems he still has to pay for them. Doesn't matter how many hours a day I spend doing things exclusively for other people in the house or other family members. Whatever I do never could be enough before and certainly never will be. Few more years I'll stick them into a retirement home they oh so have never wanted. My quality of health is poor due to IBD and a few other autoimmune diseases or issues that prevent me from being dependent on myself.
my mom is somewhere between 4 and 5
5. I wish they'd give me the courtesy of not pretending they are loving still. It's been 6-7 months since I told the family. Not a single one of them has reached out or been willing to hear my story in its entirety. Not even once!
Lv2 but leaning lv1 my dad is a solid 2 and most of my family are now my mom is like 1.5lv she is learning but fully supportive but still doesn't understand but my cousin Catlin is a solid lv1 she was the only one from day one that swapped to she her for me no issue but she does have a few trans friends so that help a lot.
it's kind of a mix of 1 and 2 so far 1 because my sister is completely supportive, and 2 because i don't think my dad understands the full meaning too much
Level 5. Mom prays I detransition. Dad says he supports my right to choose, but does not support my choice.
Mine are level 5, not malicious, and they think that they are doing what's best for me, but they're never gonna support me in this way. It's why I don't live with them anymore
Ok so my parents are level 1 :D They are doing most everything right. Helps that they have a handful of trans friends themselves so they have experience with this stuff. Also, my spouse came out years and years ago so they had a bit of a practice run so to speak lol. When I came out, the only trepidation they had was due to my weekend job working as the stage crew chief for a mid size country music venue in Texas. However, I've slowly been presenting increasingly fem at work over the past 2 years and so far I've had literally 0 issues with any of my coworkers or musicians or bar patrons being bigoted over my presentation. The DJ is a big burly guy and he threatened to fight anyone who gives me shit, and two of my stage hands are trans women who I have been friends with since high school. As far as the people I live with, well, I have 2 roommates who are trans girls and my spouse is a nonbinary trans guy and they're all awesome ⭐ 🖤
5 When I moved out, my mom started the sentence that she asked for an open invite with my deadname
Brother: 1.5 Dad: 1.5 Mom: 4.5 Mom thinks I'm full of shit, unfortunately. She has psychoanalysed me in a way that is not charitable in the slightest and is completely incorrect. She also told me that she was grateful she never had daughters. I'm always polite and respectful because she doesn't yell or hound me, I ask how she's feeling about it periodically and I don't want to punish her for being honest. But after the last time we talked, I think I'm done asking. Idk if she'll ever believe me or come around, but it is what it is. Honestly it sucks to feel rejected by the only other woman in the house. I feel like I can't ask her girl questions like I did before coming out. She was "supportive" of me exploring makeup, nail polish, light crossdressing, aiming for a more androgynous/fem haircut, etc. she even bought me my first makeup set for Christmas and taught me how to do it prior. And then I came out as trans and it suddenly wasn't cool for her anymore 🙃
I’m 42, and my dad is 65. My stepmom is a few years younger. I came out earlier this year. My dad is a 2. He’s actually been very supportive, he just has absolutely zero knowledge of anything not cishet so he’ll occasionally make a comment that’s just a little insensitive. Not out of maliciousness, he just doesn’t know. My stepmom is about a 1.3. She lived in San Francisco for years and has been around queer people, so she navigates it well. She’s asked like a handful of… rude, I guess? … questions (the dreaded surgery question) but otherwise have been completely supportive. Both have not misgendered or deadnamed me except for once or twice immediately after I came out. My bio-mom I haven’t talked to in years. She has an undiagnosed personality disorder (cluster B). I don’t know where she’d be on the scale but, based on how my childhood went, probably towards the bottom. Sister is a 4-5. She said maybe 10 words to me the entire time we were at a family reunion a few weeks ago, and never even used my name or a pronoun at all on me. She’s a pretty conservative Christian. My grandparents, who are in their late 80s and early 90s, have been the biggest surprise. They are solid 1-2s and have not missed a single name or pronoun. Father in law is a 1-2. He completely supports us and is far too polite to say or do anything that might be offensive. Mother in law is probably a 3, but I also don’t think that’s a fully fair assessment because I suspect she is showing early signs of dementia. She really struggles with names and pronouns but I never get the impression that it’s malicious.
4-5
It’s giving a big level 6 for mine conservative and all that great stuff.
Level 1
My mom I'm pretty sure is a level 2, my dad could be anywhere from 2-4 b/c I just recently told my parents I wanted to use female pronouns/gendered language and my preferred name and my mom immediately started trying to use it and idk my dad's reaction. My two sisters are both level 1, as is my one sister's long term boyfriend.
Level 3, I think. It's hard to tell because my parents never really struggled with the change. They never had issues with using my name or pronouns, but they also don't ask questions. Whenever I talk about something trans related they change the subject so. It's been coming up on 15 years now and they still act this way.
(5) My dad and step mom (with a couple relatives) know I’m trans. My step mom attempts to not call me him but very rarely gets it right, dad does not. The relatives just call it a “condition” (1)The only person in family that fully supports me is my sister. She has absolutely been amazing by making me feel like her sis. (1)All of my friends (except work) know I’m trans and all have been supportive and make me happy.
level 5. they aren’t abusive, just transphobic.
Idk where to place my parents. My dad said he forgot that I told them, and my mom only did weird comments when we were alone for a year. For a minimum of 6 years they have known, but nowhere did I ever seen any support, no interest in me etc, just as if nothing ever happened. I'm severely depressed since puberty hit, I'm not able to do anything without some support, and severe social anxiety is preventing me from even calling a doctor or informing myself. They know of all this stuff, even told me they've always known my struggles. Still got forced to do everything on my own without help, I got completely ignored. Last december I finally managed to get on hrt on my own, started to transition publicly and everything kinda went downhill with them since then, especially with my mom. Its night and day between my parents and my friends. One day I felt so immensely dysphoric around my mom, I left and wrote her a long message about how I felt about her and how I wished I mattered and would have loved to get even some sliver of help etc. My friends asked to see my message and all started to cry for me, but my mom only defended herself in response. She even walked into my home to hold a monologue (saying for example "you need just some more sunlight for you depression", "you need to put up some incense sticks to smoke out the depression", "I didnt help cause you would get medicated" etc). I've since then gone no contact with her and even had to block her on eastern when she started to emotionally abuse/gaslight me for some unrelated stuff. Only one of my brothers has been around lv1-2 so far. He's been the only one I've heard to call me his sister, just as if I have always been his sister.
Level 1.
My mum gets angry whenever I mention gender issues, I have to hide I'm DIYing, she doesn't let me wear a skirt or make up, or paint my nails (even tho I've been an adult for 4 years now)
2, it's obvi gonna take some time and to here credit I'm not very feminine in the slightest yet but for example she seen a facebook post saying "only boys can do this" and it was some body challenge, she said "so maybe you can do it" right to me when earlier in that day I was litsrally at a pride festival and we've being taking about me being trans all day. It'll take some time
level 1 - level 2. they still have a lot to learn but in general they are awesome and I'm so glad to have them. I know how much of a privilege that is in our community, unfortunately :/
My mom is a level one. She originally thought I was joking (only for like 10 seconds). She’s done everything for me. She’s already planning on being my helper when I go through GRS. She’s been great. My wife is a level 2. She’s sorta supportive, but isn’t sure about our relationship because she’s not attracted to women. Other friends and family are 1s.
Level 5 over here!
Haven't come out to my parents, but I expect Level 5. Level 6 is possible too. My sister on the other hand is \~Level 1, and if she was transphobic too, I probably wouldn't even be here.
Level 4 parents, level 2 siblings. Parents mostly ignore my transness with some of the wildest mental acrobatics that I’ve ever seen a human be capable of. They only occasionally try to convince me that I’m making a mistake, but are otherwise neutral.
Prob 6 he told me trans people should kill themselves :(
Mom: 4 always guilt tripping though Father: 6 because of repeatedly beating the trans out of me in early childhood, then disowned later in life Husband: 3/4 it's complicated both for me and him
Lvl 6…I’m not even out yet because when I was twelve, I began questioning. Dad presented my search history to the entire family during a gathering. (I think it was Christmas, but I can barely remember anything about that day.) After that, I repressed it deeply. I’m 30 now and can’t even bring myself to wear panties to bed in the privacy of my own room.
I haven’t come out to them because I know it’s gonna be a 5 or 6.
somewhere between level 1 and 2 for most of them. my dad is pretty much completely supportive and is really good with everything. he's unironically my best supporter. my step mom on the other hand claims to support me and does buy me some women's clothes from time to time, but also for some reason loves to use old photos of me for holiday cards and gifts for other people (including my dad 😞) this I'd imagine is ignorance but it really does hurt a lot especially because I'd imagine girl to girl she'd realize how ugly I looked in those photos and I wished she'd opt for my better and more recent photos. my sister is also such a great supporter for me and the rest of my siblings are def somewhere mixed between level 1 and 2 where they understand and support me but I feel have internalized transphobia/misogyny that they need to work through
I just came out to my mom & twin brother to start. They were both 100% supportive, no reservations or iffyness at all, just “we love you and support you no matter what” attitudes. It’s great! It’s only been a week and I haven’t seen them in person yet since, so idk if some awkwardness will pop up when I have painted nails or whatever— when the femme starts coming out actually— but I feel so safe and supported. I feel like my other teo sibs will be the same. Dad, on the other hand… will probably be a 3-4? Or maybe just a very awkward, avoiding the topic at all costs 1-2.
6 I recently had to move out of state because living with them was killing me inside.
My ex shifted from level 1 to leaving me within a year. Like she went with me to my first HRT appointment and picked up my meds from the pharmacy when I had the prescription. She sat beside me for all the hard conversations with my family and was always really good about name and gender stuff with me. Something kinda snapped around 5 months in and she asked me to leave the bedroom. Things were basically over at that point. We tried couples therapy but our therapist was useless, I felt like I was the only one putting in the work. My parents were shocked. None of the levels listed really fit. They wanted to be supportive at first but didn’t really know how to do that. They were never actively hostile but had trouble with the name and pronouns stuff, which probably isn’t helped by the fact they live in a different country and I only see them in person maybe once a year. They wouldn’t call me daughter and mom cried pretty often when I talked about things. Then, they came out for my birthday earlier this year and got to see me moving through my life as Alice and kinda snapped into being really strong supporters. We were at a farmers market and I was looking at something in one of the stalls and mom came up behind me and somehow introduced me as her daughter. Dad is still a little awkward about things but is warming as well. They’re “out” to all their friends as far as telling them that their daughter is transgender so they’re not really trying to hide it which I view as a positive development.
Level 5 Edit: I appreciate the nuance reflected in this level system. Well done!
My father is 2, by your definitions. Though I personally consider him to be completely supportive. It’s not his fault he’s a 70 year old idiot. And he would definitely do anything I asked him to in terms of help and support. My gestational unit is 5. Though she probably would’ve been a 6 or 7 if I weren’t an adult and 600 miles away upon coming out. We don’t talk, and probably won’t ever again. Good riddance.
My mom: 2.5? I don't think she's taking it seriously nor sees me as a girl yet but also she's fine with helping me get HRT so....eh. No one else in my family is aware yet outside of my former step dad AFAIK.
level 5 😄
Level 5, they don't support me but they don't oppose anything. I'm just waiting till I can move out.
Mom level 1.25 : She is very supportive but sometimes does not understand some stuff. Dad level 1.5: Same as mom except he is probably super scared and will be against me socially transitioning. Also he has more misconceptions. Also both of them were against me diying hrt so thats it
My mother definitely level 1. When I outed myself to her she was supportive even though she didn't understand it. She just wanted me to be happy. I think at first it was kinda hard for her to get used to it (one time she said to me that I'll never be a real woman) but now she's fully supportive, even occasionally saying that I look like a cis woman and she could never think that I could be a man. The only thing she thinks is important is that I tell people I'm going out with or have a crush on that I'm trans, it's really important for her that my potential partner knows. Her boyfriend is kinda supportive. He accepts me but was kinda passive about the whole process. He did call me my deadname twice because he made fun of me for burping as a woman, then I told him that I won't tolerate this kind of behavior and he never did it again. He's the only person that (accidentally ) misgendered me this year. So yeah he's there. My brother is also pretty neutral. Last year he said that he wouldn't want me to go to a woman's toilet if he was a woman and it's very important to him that not accepting a trans person is an opinion you have to respect just like every other opinion. But he uses my preferred (meanwhile my legal lmao) name and pronouns so yeah. My Grandparents fully accept me. For them being trans has something to do with my genetics so I didn't choose it or something and it's stupid to not accept me. They're trying their best but often misgender me (the last time I saw them was last summer when I outed myself to them). My grandmother likes my female voice haha. I'm not really close with my half sister. She's like 20 years older than me and lived with the family of her mother anyways. I outed myself on Christmas last year and she took it well. She was a bit shocked but accepted me. The only thing was that her immediate questions was if I'm going to have surgery or not. That was the last time I saw her. The rest of my family lives 6 to 7 hours away from me. I'm out to them because my mom put my real name on postcards for Christmas and stuff. I never got any response if they approve that I'm trans or not and I don't think that I have to know. Before the pandemic I saw them only once maybe twice a year now I don't see them at all and I'm perfectly fine with it So yeah I'm quite lucky with how my family reacted when I came out. They respect my name and pronouns and that's all I want
mom began at a 5 & is now a solid 2 average after 10 years of me teaching her/fighting with her etc. sometimes she slips back to a 3 and i have to reeducate her. sometimes she is a 1 but only since I began grad school. its quite variable, but general vibe is support especially bc she defends me from her dad who has stayed at a 3 to 5 depending on the convo dad began at a 2 & is now a 1. he began totally supportive but was extremely transmedicalist due to ignorance. he mainly listens without speaking these days bc he is scared of getting things wrong.
Brother and SiL were Level 2 from the start. I kinda want to say 1 because they make a hell of an effort, but they definitely are misinformed and occasionally say something silly. Mother started off Level 3 but has come around and is now 2, and I don't see her ever getting to 1. Also misinformed, and she's very careful with language and takes active steps in mending our relationship, which is sweet. But she's also made it clear there's mother-daughter activities she won't touch, like teaching me to do make-up. Father is a hard Level 5. My mother says he's going to come around to it, but at this point I don't think I care. Says he loves me, says he wants to see me, but flat out refuses to call me a woman or by my real name and use the correct pronouns. I made it clear we are not interacting anymore unless he gets better. Funny enough, my MiL is Level 1. She's probably the most supportive cis person I know and an absolute treasure. When I came out to her she was immediately super happy and enthusiastic for me and offered to buy me my first pair of pantyhose, which is the funniest set of priorities ever. Helps that my BF is trans so she's already gone through the whole thing before
Level 5 with my mom who I came out to, we dont discuss it Level 6 for my dad if I every came out or he ever caught wind of it Level 3 for my older sister, she isnt helpful and kinda ignorant and really doesnt try Level 2/1 for my younger sis, she's 11 and supportive, just young thats all
It used to be a 6. I was kicked out and cut off. I’ve not talked to my family in 10 years apart from my mother who is now around a 2
My aunt and my brother are definitely on 1. Everyone else…..I haven’t come out yet but I have been given good reasons to not do so…
Currently : Mum = 1 Dad = 1 Brother = 1 Cousin 1 = 1 Cousin 2 = 1.5-2 When I first came out as a woman : Mum = 2 Dad = 3 Brother = 1 Cousin 1 = 1 Cousin 2 = 1 When I first came out as trans (enby) : Mum = 4 Dad = 4 Brother = 1 Cousin 1 = 1 When I came out as GNC initially : Mum = 5 Dad = 6 Brother = 1
My Mum and her partner are like Level 1 him even wanting to help me get HRT outside of my country if things go badly , and my Mum like basically kickstarted my wardrobe gifting me tons of girl clothes. My Grandparents kinda took some time to get used to it but are super supportive now
Unfortunate level 6 for me. Family made the house too hostile to live in, constant fights and violence that resulted in me turning to an abusive boyfriends house. I dont speak to any of my family anymore as most attempts end with misgendered, ignored or physical violence over and over. Its been 4 years since i started transitioning
3, maybe 4. They don't really understand trans people. In order they understand anyone on the LGBTQIA banner that isn't gay or lesbian
Mum: somewhere between 2 and 5. She jumps around unpredictably Brother: 1. Unerringly 1. Sister: Dunno. I'll tell you when she starts speaking to me again.
(Mom) Started as a level 5 to me, but was still generally supportive of queer rights. Now that I'm farther in my transition, she's a level one :( I just wish I didn't have to prove myself.
we don’t speak
My mother is level 4 My father I don't know because I have never told him and not sure if can. My father is from west africa. My father side of family would be level 6 for sure. My mother side of the family is level of support is unknown.
Mom is 1. She's just scared of the secondary effects of HRT but still helps me to get it. I don't know how she will react to bottom surgery. My father is between 3 and 4, leaning 3 because, since my mother is on my side, he doesn't really have a choice. At least according to my mother. I've yet to hear him gender me correctly.
I haven't come out to them. Judging from what what I know of them, which is very little, I'd have to gamble and say they're level 3. My mom might be level 2.5 and my dad might be level 3.5. Wishing to be supportive but struggling to and wishing to be supportive but struggling really hard to believe me in the first place, respectively.
they started at level 5, now they're level 4 (with the exception of my sister, she's level 5-6
5 with some aspects of 6
I think somewhere between 1 and 2, they misgender and deadname me still occasionally or will just say things that hurt but they don’t mean to do so
2
Sibling is Level 1: She has been one of my greatest supporters and is trans herself (though she prefers not to transition) so she gets what it's like. Mom is Level 2: She tries her best but still doesn't understand some things. But she has always supported me as much as she could. She has gained lots of knowledge and understanding ever since I told her I was trans. Her intentions are definitely level 1 but I can see her actually reaching that level in the near future. Father is Level 5: Unfortunately he never accepted me nor has he ever called me by my name and pronouns nor ever called me his daughter, in fact he sometimes even "corrects" others when they gender me correctly. Every day he has a new "theory" about why I *think* I'm trans, anything except me actually being trans, and over time has fallen more and more into the far-right bigoted rabbit hole (about everything, not just trans people). Despite all this he still acts like nothing happens and helps me outside of my transition. I know he loves me, but not as his daughter, and despite that love, he still hurts me a lot with his eternal denial and lack of respect for me (that he somehow can't see). I honestly avoid seeing him since it's just so draining every time, especially since I'm already 2+ years out to him and 1+ years out in general and I can't keep going to a place that feels like I never transitioned when the rest of my life has moved on, but at the same time, not seeing him means not seeing my mom which hurts because she has been one of my best supporters.
Father: 4. He "disagrees with being trans" whatever that means but values peace within the family over anything else. Egg Donor: 5. She hated me from an early age because I couldn't be exactly what she wants. I was low contact long before my egg cracked. Sister: 5. Started at 1 but fell into the Blair white/Marcus dib "true trans" shit which led her further and further into the homophobic pipeline. Brothers: 4. They do the same as my father. Grandparents: 2. All three living grandparents are very supportive, though they don't know much and so sometimes say things they shouldn't.
Mom was level 1 before she passed away. Dad seemed like 2 to my face, but he was a different kind of weird in private and other issues. Like, he would talk to me like normal, but he told people his son died. He yelled at me once day about politics and liberal policies in general shortly after Trump was elected. He was watching Fox News at the time, and that was before all of the trans hate started filling the conservative media. I can only imagine how he feels now. I haven't talked to him after he blew up at me over politics 7 years ago.
The majority of my family I had contact with pre-coming out is at a 1, except for my dad, who is probably a 5 or so unfortunately. He's been poisoned by insane right wing conspiracies.
I'm at 5 right now
My mom: 1 My dad: 2 - 4 (I am skeptical because he was acting like a 6 in august 2023)
Wife: 1, Others: 2-3
5
My dad is like a 3, doesn't care at all relatively supportive, my mom is a 4, maybe a 5, but trying not to present as such. She just seems like she's faking it, but I mean, at least she's trying, I guess. I think she's pushing past what she believes to help support me, but ultimately is still very Christian and conservative, so I can't tell if she's actually supportive or if it's just a front...
My dad is like a 3, doesn't care at all relatively supportive, my mom is a 4, maybe a 5, but trying not to present as such. She just seems like she's faking it, but I mean, at least she's trying, I guess. I think she's pushing past what she believes to help support me, but ultimately is still very Christian and conservative, so I can't tell if she's actually supportive or if it's just a front...
Not out yet, but level 4 is probably the best case scenario.
None of the options really fits, in my case, as it heavily depends on the direction you cut it. - My mom (which I live with) is very much supportive, and has accepted it fast. She's learning as she goes. - My dad's a raging racist and homophobe. Since my parents are divorced and I haven't seen him in a long time, I didn't bother coming out to him. Probably never will unless he calls about it after learning from someone else, or if I see him face to face again for some reason. He never made an effort to keep in touch, I'm not gonna waste my mental health on him, especially since he alrady doesn't like that my sister (same dad, different mom) was in a relationship with another woman. - My grandma and aunt, on my dad's side, have accepted me immediatly and are very supportive, though quite awkward and uneducated about it. But the heart is there. - Apparently, my dad's two brothers will probably accept me as well according to their sister, but I haven't bothered coming out to them yet. It'll happen naturally someday. - On my mom's side, one of her sisters has accepted me easily, as did one of her sons (who's bi, leaning towards gay). Her other 3 are a mixed bag so I didn't bother. - The rest of my mom's siblings will likely insult me, call me a pervert, a pedophile, a rapist, etc. So they cna all go rot in hell for all I care. Same goes with her mom. - Both my grampas are out of the picture, one died way before I was born, the other one a few years before I cracked my egg (though he probably wouldn't have understood much, old school portuguese man that he was). So yeah. It's a fun mess...
Level 1, except for my father.
3 or 4. I haven’t asked them to use she/her pronouns or a feminine name yet. I’m still working up the courage to do so (and I also want to pass a bit better first… so waiting on my hair 😅)
5…it never stops hurting :<
Mom: Likes that I’m alive, but says she sees herself as a failure for this happening, and won’t say it, but definitely wants me to stop. (She still pays for my phone/train bill at least.” Dad: Doesnt talk to me anymore. Sister: Tolerates me. Cousins: Love and support Aunts on mom’s side: Love and support. Uncles on mom’s side: Half love, half dislike/hand-wave. Aunts/Uncles on dad’s side: “Ehh… idc, they’re beefing like crazy and the family drama there is nuts.” A mixed bag for sure, but I’ll be fine. I do wanna talk to my dad again though. I wanna clear some stuff up with him, but I fear he’d do something kinda crazy if I saw him IRL with a surprise visit or something, so…. Idk.
Lvl 5 here. Wasn't disowned or beaten. But that's about as good as it is
Started at level 5 (but they claimed they were level 2). Now about level 3.5 after 3+ years.
Mom: 2.5 Dad: 5.25
My younger sister and my eldest son support me, rarher indirectly, because the live in USA and I live in Thailand. We corresond only by email. I deketed my facebook and twitter accounts
Lvl 4 when I first came out - my parents tried to talk me out of it, but I was an independent adult, it was a fait accompli, and I made it clear I was merely informing them. Over the next several years as I spent time with them and they saw how happy I was, they came around to the total support of lvl 1.
My mom is a 2, Dad died before I transitioned, but I think he would have been supportive, just very little knowledge about the community., Wife and kids are all 1, but extended family is where we had lots of trouble. My wife's family became irate and violent(Catholics)6 for them. So 95% or her family we are NC with as well as most of my extended family. The people who matter most, love me, so I call that a win.
Ermm, hard to say on the criteria listed. My parents have no issue with me being on HRT and are happy to see me be happy, but they still deadname and misgender me (granted we have lots of Amazon Echo's at home and good luck persuading them to change that habit...), and they're not fully on-board with everything to do with trans people in society.
My dad threatened to kill me if I didn't stop acting like a girl when I was a kid and my mom just doesn't care - she doesn't think trans-ness us a true thing, but doesn't particular care how I live my life. My brother's supportive and an ally.
My immediate family is very loving and accepting, so I'd say level 2
My adoptive parents have really been nothing but great. Level 1! They were concerned at first because they couldn't understand transition and were concerned for my health, but once they saw how alive and vibrant I became, they got fully onboard. It took about 6 months for them to wrap their heads around the fact that I'm their daughter, but they'd known me for 22 years as a guy and they were in their upper 60's when I began transition so they've really exceeded my expectations. At my first Xmas being a girl, my Mom said "You being a girl now is *so great*, gifts are easy, clothes clothes clothes!!! It totally sucked trying to figure out what to get you before!" Siblings are wonderful - my sister gave me basically all her clothes. The sperm donor has been out of my life since graduation because he was an abusive piece of shit who would beat me and rip out my long hair. He's been dead a *long* time now. The egg donor hasn't been in my life since 9th grade and doesn't know if I'm dead or alive, nor does she care. And she'll never know anything about me. Definitely would have been a level 6, maybe a 7.
My mother supports trans rights even more than trans people themselves. But somehow, she told me that I got 0 feminine trades, I'm masculine, I have that masculine supportive power with myself, and "You're not just like them [MTF trans]"
One is level 4 and the other is level 5 maybe 6 only because of the 4
Considering half my hamily are jehovah cultists, other half being right leaning conservatives in general, yeah... I've been completely on my own, even going as far as to threaten legal action against my jehovah grandparents for sexual assault, theft, destruction of property and hate crimes Edit: thankfully not level 6 yet but all of them, both jehovah cult and conservative side land squarely on a 5
Level 6 as a kid, level 5 now
Mine started at 5, 6 years ago saying they were level 3 though. Basically pretending like the transition wasn't happening and in the past year since they've seen me happier and passing now they're at 2. They fuck up multiple times but they're at least calling me Val and she her 70% of the time...
Level 4, but they don't do the misgendering to my face, except when my dad wished me a happy Father's Day. They at least use my name around me otherwise. They're boomers and just look senile if they ever talk about their "son". Sucks for them I guess 🤷♀️
2, i think it would take a while to adjust to and they are definitely a bit uneducated from some conversations I’ve had where they have accidentally hurt my feelings a bit but they definitely would accept me as a daughter, I also think they are scared with HRT but I’m not planning to until I’m 18, overall I think I’m definitely lucky
Wow, that really puts things into perspective. My mom is a 2, my dad is a 4.5 (he doesn’t respect me at all, but he refuses to stand between me and my medication because he knows he can’t stop me and he doesn’t want to completely burn every bridge between us), and the rest of my family is worse than 5 but slightly better than 6.
Between 4 and 5, leaving more 5. My father is dead, and he'd have been a 6 with physical beating and r@pe (because he already did that). My mother is the above, refuses to use my pronouns (they/them) even once for four years, even after learning I was intersex. Dead names me to her friends and to my family, though not all family (just ones who don't know I changed my name I guess? Why don't they know, I don't know, she's embarrassed of me I guess. It's gender neutral, though more femme.) I even gave up, since I'm using estrogen and going through surgeries, and said if gender neutral is too hard for you, use she/her for me. Most people at work do, and on the streets. So she ghosted me for two weeks.
I guess 6. Though it's more than I ghosted them after the things they said to me got so bad. I have no parents anymore.
Level 6. A judge even ordered my address to be hidden from public records, to prevent my family from knowing where I live, after my dad tried to murder me. He completely got away with it, too. I haven't spoken to my family in a couple years now.
Level 2: an average between my dad’s level 1 and mom’s level 3 lol