1. 65 hours is not ok, no wonder you're sick often?
2. Unless you were standing in their living room with a basketball belly and a neon sign that said IM PREGNANT, your employers should not be asking you this! ESPECIALLY DB, it's not only inappropriate it is unprofessional and in an office setting would be enough to report to HR.
3. Demanding a pregnancy test wtfffff
I hope this is a fake story. Asking if you're pregnant seems to be one factor of this messed up situation you're in!
A lot of parents don’t care. My MB gets annoyed when I take off sick. She believes he’s either already been exposed to it so it doesn’t matter or that it’s good for building his immune system. Sucks for me though because then I don’t feel like I can take off when I feel like death. Also forced to work when NK is sick (and not told so until MB is already gone and NK wakes up with fever and coughing… and I can tell you MB definitely knew he was sick) even though she knows I literally get sick easier than anyone.
IANAL but think those discrimination laws only apply to employers with more than a certain number of employees. That’s why NFs can fire a pregnant nanny without repercussions, but a big corporation would not be able to.
However you are right those questions are 100% weird, gross and unethical.
This is something a lot of people often confuse and I do have to correct you.
Employment Standard Laws, constitutional laws, Human rights laws and Employment Equity Laws are different things.
I can only speak specifically for Canadian Laws so other places there's some variation.
Specifically we can focus on Equity laws, Human Rights and Labor laws.
Equity laws is the only set of legislations that apply for large companies. They require corporations above a certain number of people to have proactive policies to ensure fair hiring practices and management across protected groups.
Human Rights and Labor laws apply to ALL employers. Human Rights protects against discrimination of protected groups including women. The Constitution also would apply, as Human Rights and Labor laws still can't go against the constitution.
Labor laws handle minimum wage, over time etc.
Again, only Equity laws apply to large corporations, however employers of any kind are still not allowed to discriminate on the basis of gender, sexual identity, race etc.
And it might help to understand why Equity laws only apply to bigger organizations. It's not because of responsibility. It's because they can not be logically applied to smaller companies. If your company has 5 employees, and all these employees happen to be white, straight men. You can't claim your workplace discriminates against protected groups on the basis of lack of workplace diversity by Equity laws, because 5 employees isn't a large enough number to expect diversity, nor do you have the means to advertise the position in a proactive way to minority groups. Now if your company had 200 employees and all of them are straight white men and it lacks any diversity, then you better be able to prove that you did all you could to attract protected groups including anti-discrimination policies, reaching out in places where minorities would see the job ad, and hiring only straight white men was completely outside of your control.
Thanks for the explanation! I looked it up and it looks like the situation in the US is different than Canada: [https://www.eeoc.gov/employers/small-business/1-do-federal-employment-discrimination-laws-enforced-eeoc-apply-my](https://www.eeoc.gov/employers/small-business/1-do-federal-employment-discrimination-laws-enforced-eeoc-apply-my)
If I'm reading that correctly, our federal discrimination laws only apply to businesses with 15+ employees. The only one nannies would be covered under is equal pay regardless of gender.
Yes I should have added state law can supersede the federal one. Although even in my state it seems anti-discrimination only applies to businesses with more than 8 employees: [https://www.hum.wa.gov/employment](https://www.hum.wa.gov/employment)
Absolutely not! If this is in written(text/email) communication I would preserve a copy. For when this inevitably implodes. Better to have it and not need it than the opposite.
(Because of your boss, not you)
Hope you are feeling better soon
I'm confused... Why would you work if you were very symptomatic with covid? And why would you need to disclose to your employer that you are on your period?
This is all very confusing. Are you saying you called out sick becuase you had Covid and now you’re sick again and your boss is pestering you for a pregnancy test to explain this illnesses?
1. 65 hrs is too much
2. Unless you have a head emerging from your vagina, no one should be asking you if you are pregnant.
3. It is illegal in many countries and probably yours for an employer to ask you if you are pregnant.
That is not okay. None of the situation is okay! Having to disclose personal details to a prying boss is not acceptable. I work 60+ hours a week so I understand sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do but in this case it’s clear that the reason you’re feeling under the weather is because you’re literally working yourself sick. Next time they ask if you’re pregnant I would politely point out the hours you’re pulling and the lack of sleep. If you have the option to leave this position for a similarly good one I would definitely suggest you do.
It's not ok. I worked for a family who were border line hoarders and always, always sick. Never told they are sick until I walked into the door. I got a stomach bug from them and was super nauseous and sick. I asked to leave early and was told no and was asked multiple times if I was pregnant because I was newly married. I was going through other health issues at the time that caused my whole body to be broken out head to toe as well. Not really trying for a baby when I was in the state and she kept asking. It's wrong. That was over 7 years ago now and I have struggled with fertility. It's not ok. Period.
That is honestly the least concerning part of this story. I’ve worked with covid multiple times because I caught it from the kids (who caught it at school) and we all just hunkered down for the quarantine period together.
what in the actual fk? How do you not know that you cannot sustain working for this person? He is mentally abusing you & possibly violating labor laws. Where you live, are there employment laws?
I am so sorry you have to deal with this.
He should absolutely NOT be asking you if you’re pregnant with prof or if you’re on your period! It’s none of his business unless you were and if it’ll affect your job at all but either way that’s totally unacceptable and unprofessional. The dads asking you or mom too? How long have you been with this family?
This is not acceptable.
I’m a literalist autistic, I probably would have asked him if he was pregnant.
There has been a single time in my 28 year career that I have a DB ask me if it was that week of my cycle….. we were scuba diving with sharks, in a cage, with his oldest son.
The fact that people are focusing on you working with Covid is actually really infuriating me. As if that’s the most important part of this.
A lot of people have started to work with Covid because the majority of the world doesn’t see Covid as anything other than an illness akin to the flu. The world is done caring about quarantining. Whether it’s shitty or not is a different conversation, but the truth is the world has adapted to it existing and many people have to work with it now. The world is no longer set up for people to be quarantined, it never really was in the first place. If the family knows you have covid and wants you to work anyways, there isn’t much you can do. We have to pay our bills. If we were able to make different choices, we would. Anyone coming down on you about that needs a reality check.
This is an awful situation and you have every right to be horrified that he’s demanding a pregnancy test. If there aren’t laws to protect you in Spain, then I’m very sorry. I think you should try to find a different family. They are overworking you, and DB is behaving very inappropriately. This is an awful situation, and at no point should you feel like you’re overreacting.
Right like obviously she’s working so she doesn’t get fired and/or bc she can’t afford to be off and it’s kinda privileged to blame her for any of that.
I think people really underestimate how easy to was to take time off during the height of Covid. Your employers were forced to be understanding. Now we don’t have the same guidelines and requirements. Your boss basically wasn’t allowed to be angry with you for needing a 7-10 days off. They had to let you, they had to let everyone. That’s gone now, we have to choose. Why would anyone choose to lose their job?
It’s a lack of empathy, and just a lack of general thinking to be upset with people for working with Covid. The mindset of “well I personally wouldn’t do it no matter what I lose” is so annoying because it simply isn’t true. If I have to choose between getting a few people sick, and losing my house, car, etc…they’re getting sick. Almost anyone would make that choice, and people who don’t will almost immediately regret it.
Sometimes the “right” choice isn’t available in reality. It’s immaturity on people’s part when they don’t realize that.
No, that’s not OK. It’s OK to inquire if somebody is pregnant, mainly in jest, but is absolutely not OK to ask them to take a pregnancy test and repeatedly. That’s terrible. Even if someone asks if you are pregnant, you’re not required to tell them.
1. 65 hours is not ok, no wonder you're sick often? 2. Unless you were standing in their living room with a basketball belly and a neon sign that said IM PREGNANT, your employers should not be asking you this! ESPECIALLY DB, it's not only inappropriate it is unprofessional and in an office setting would be enough to report to HR. 3. Demanding a pregnancy test wtfffff I hope this is a fake story. Asking if you're pregnant seems to be one factor of this messed up situation you're in!
Thanks for the honest reply, I told him that I found the question to be intrusive and disrespectful
Feel free to share more of your experience there, this sub can be very helpful! It doesn't sound like a comfortable situation for you at all.
And illegal
Why were you working with Covid?
A lot of parents don’t care. My MB gets annoyed when I take off sick. She believes he’s either already been exposed to it so it doesn’t matter or that it’s good for building his immune system. Sucks for me though because then I don’t feel like I can take off when I feel like death. Also forced to work when NK is sick (and not told so until MB is already gone and NK wakes up with fever and coughing… and I can tell you MB definitely knew he was sick) even though she knows I literally get sick easier than anyone.
Everyone I’ve known has had Covid was exhausted. How can you take care of a child like that. I’ve luckily never had it
[удалено]
I’m in Spain
[удалено]
IANAL but think those discrimination laws only apply to employers with more than a certain number of employees. That’s why NFs can fire a pregnant nanny without repercussions, but a big corporation would not be able to. However you are right those questions are 100% weird, gross and unethical.
This is something a lot of people often confuse and I do have to correct you. Employment Standard Laws, constitutional laws, Human rights laws and Employment Equity Laws are different things. I can only speak specifically for Canadian Laws so other places there's some variation. Specifically we can focus on Equity laws, Human Rights and Labor laws. Equity laws is the only set of legislations that apply for large companies. They require corporations above a certain number of people to have proactive policies to ensure fair hiring practices and management across protected groups. Human Rights and Labor laws apply to ALL employers. Human Rights protects against discrimination of protected groups including women. The Constitution also would apply, as Human Rights and Labor laws still can't go against the constitution. Labor laws handle minimum wage, over time etc. Again, only Equity laws apply to large corporations, however employers of any kind are still not allowed to discriminate on the basis of gender, sexual identity, race etc. And it might help to understand why Equity laws only apply to bigger organizations. It's not because of responsibility. It's because they can not be logically applied to smaller companies. If your company has 5 employees, and all these employees happen to be white, straight men. You can't claim your workplace discriminates against protected groups on the basis of lack of workplace diversity by Equity laws, because 5 employees isn't a large enough number to expect diversity, nor do you have the means to advertise the position in a proactive way to minority groups. Now if your company had 200 employees and all of them are straight white men and it lacks any diversity, then you better be able to prove that you did all you could to attract protected groups including anti-discrimination policies, reaching out in places where minorities would see the job ad, and hiring only straight white men was completely outside of your control.
Thanks for the explanation! I looked it up and it looks like the situation in the US is different than Canada: [https://www.eeoc.gov/employers/small-business/1-do-federal-employment-discrimination-laws-enforced-eeoc-apply-my](https://www.eeoc.gov/employers/small-business/1-do-federal-employment-discrimination-laws-enforced-eeoc-apply-my) If I'm reading that correctly, our federal discrimination laws only apply to businesses with 15+ employees. The only one nannies would be covered under is equal pay regardless of gender.
But you're not considering state and common laws, which really cover most states.
Yes I should have added state law can supersede the federal one. Although even in my state it seems anti-discrimination only applies to businesses with more than 8 employees: [https://www.hum.wa.gov/employment](https://www.hum.wa.gov/employment)
no, they don’t; only a few states have domestic employment laws that protect nannies
its not illegal in the US; unless nannies work in a state with domestic employment laws, nannies aren’t a protected class of employee. 🤷🏼♀️
i think it's crazy you don't think this would happen in the US, people ask ridiculous, rude, intrusive questions allllllll the time here.
Sorry to be that person but HE is asking you!? A man is asking you to take a pregnancy test. Job search time.
this. There is absolutely no way he or ANY parent should be asking you to take a pregnancy test. Absolutely insane
Absolutely not! If this is in written(text/email) communication I would preserve a copy. For when this inevitably implodes. Better to have it and not need it than the opposite. (Because of your boss, not you) Hope you are feeling better soon
are you being paid overtime??
Wow, that is not okay.
I'm confused... Why would you work if you were very symptomatic with covid? And why would you need to disclose to your employer that you are on your period?
I told him to get him off my back about pregnancy
This is all very confusing. Are you saying you called out sick becuase you had Covid and now you’re sick again and your boss is pestering you for a pregnancy test to explain this illnesses?
1. 65 hrs is too much 2. Unless you have a head emerging from your vagina, no one should be asking you if you are pregnant. 3. It is illegal in many countries and probably yours for an employer to ask you if you are pregnant.
Your boss has no right to ask that
That is not okay. None of the situation is okay! Having to disclose personal details to a prying boss is not acceptable. I work 60+ hours a week so I understand sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do but in this case it’s clear that the reason you’re feeling under the weather is because you’re literally working yourself sick. Next time they ask if you’re pregnant I would politely point out the hours you’re pulling and the lack of sleep. If you have the option to leave this position for a similarly good one I would definitely suggest you do.
It's not ok. I worked for a family who were border line hoarders and always, always sick. Never told they are sick until I walked into the door. I got a stomach bug from them and was super nauseous and sick. I asked to leave early and was told no and was asked multiple times if I was pregnant because I was newly married. I was going through other health issues at the time that caused my whole body to be broken out head to toe as well. Not really trying for a baby when I was in the state and she kept asking. It's wrong. That was over 7 years ago now and I have struggled with fertility. It's not ok. Period.
I'm sorry are you saying you worked, as a nanny, with a child, like, this subreddit says nanny, you worked with covid while caring for a child?
Not the first time a nanny has been forced to work with Covid. Won’t be the last.
That is honestly the least concerning part of this story. I’ve worked with covid multiple times because I caught it from the kids (who caught it at school) and we all just hunkered down for the quarantine period together.
I was taking care of kids while having Covid
Did the kids also have Covid?
what in the actual fk? How do you not know that you cannot sustain working for this person? He is mentally abusing you & possibly violating labor laws. Where you live, are there employment laws? I am so sorry you have to deal with this.
Are u paid overtime???
I don't even know where to start.
He should absolutely NOT be asking you if you’re pregnant with prof or if you’re on your period! It’s none of his business unless you were and if it’ll affect your job at all but either way that’s totally unacceptable and unprofessional. The dads asking you or mom too? How long have you been with this family?
This is not acceptable. I’m a literalist autistic, I probably would have asked him if he was pregnant. There has been a single time in my 28 year career that I have a DB ask me if it was that week of my cycle….. we were scuba diving with sharks, in a cage, with his oldest son.
The fact that people are focusing on you working with Covid is actually really infuriating me. As if that’s the most important part of this. A lot of people have started to work with Covid because the majority of the world doesn’t see Covid as anything other than an illness akin to the flu. The world is done caring about quarantining. Whether it’s shitty or not is a different conversation, but the truth is the world has adapted to it existing and many people have to work with it now. The world is no longer set up for people to be quarantined, it never really was in the first place. If the family knows you have covid and wants you to work anyways, there isn’t much you can do. We have to pay our bills. If we were able to make different choices, we would. Anyone coming down on you about that needs a reality check. This is an awful situation and you have every right to be horrified that he’s demanding a pregnancy test. If there aren’t laws to protect you in Spain, then I’m very sorry. I think you should try to find a different family. They are overworking you, and DB is behaving very inappropriately. This is an awful situation, and at no point should you feel like you’re overreacting.
Right like obviously she’s working so she doesn’t get fired and/or bc she can’t afford to be off and it’s kinda privileged to blame her for any of that.
I think people really underestimate how easy to was to take time off during the height of Covid. Your employers were forced to be understanding. Now we don’t have the same guidelines and requirements. Your boss basically wasn’t allowed to be angry with you for needing a 7-10 days off. They had to let you, they had to let everyone. That’s gone now, we have to choose. Why would anyone choose to lose their job? It’s a lack of empathy, and just a lack of general thinking to be upset with people for working with Covid. The mindset of “well I personally wouldn’t do it no matter what I lose” is so annoying because it simply isn’t true. If I have to choose between getting a few people sick, and losing my house, car, etc…they’re getting sick. Almost anyone would make that choice, and people who don’t will almost immediately regret it. Sometimes the “right” choice isn’t available in reality. It’s immaturity on people’s part when they don’t realize that.
No, that’s not OK. It’s OK to inquire if somebody is pregnant, mainly in jest, but is absolutely not OK to ask them to take a pregnancy test and repeatedly. That’s terrible. Even if someone asks if you are pregnant, you’re not required to tell them.
No. Full stop.
Fuck no
Absolutely not ok. Your boss is WAY out of line.
She.is probley living in a red state. Tell your boss to f off
She lives in Spain 🇪🇸