The most horrifying sport of all, disc golf. Hurling nearly silent projectiles - without a tool to launch it, just using their own hideous limbs - hundreds of meters with near pinpoint accuracy.
Football might end up being popular with the physically larger and tougher herd species. They can see the value in herd formations to protect the weaker members and fend off the predators on Defense. It might get popular with those big elephant guys.
Also the Arxur will like football for the opposite reason and root for the defense. Though some others might root for the offense if they're in the Egg caretaking industry.
Also I'm gonna go ahead and call it on the Arxur's favorite competitive sport being Pro Bass Fishing and Deep Sea Angling competitions.
Fish fear me. Herbivores fear me. Humans turn their eyes away from me as I walk. No beasts dare make a sound in my presence. I am alone in this barren galaxy.
"Your puny scales and deficient intellect are no match for my cunning and prowess, you think you have victory over the pathetic 'Nightcrawler' but victory is mine today Billy Bass!"
Also the Department of the Interior and the state DNR advertising Flying Buffett tours of Midwest rivers where they just armor up a driver and run a boat through and Arxur try to catch flying carp right out of the air with their teeth.
When the aliens come down all they really wanna see is the pyramid down the river down in Memphis Tennessee
Made of glass and some brass, it'll knock you on your ass
Make your damn jaw drop
A: "what's that?"
H: "It's our Bass Pro Shop. Duh! What'd ya think it was? Doesn't every city have a big-ass pyramid by the mud?"
Speaking of Football, I understand that you mean "American Football" in your comment.
But what about what we call "Football" and you call "soccer".
Do you think that it can become popular among the alien ?
Do you really foresee aliens who are rendered incoherent by the mere thought of violence enjoying a game where humans run around, push and trip each other left and right, and go down rolling around on the ground in agony at least once a minute?
Well, presented like this I understand the problem but not all match are like that.
It will be like playing with the kindergartens childs with the ex-federation species.
And full force with the Arxur.
On the bright side, they'll be amazed at the sheer recovery speed humans are capable of as they see human after human hop right back up after a mind-blowing injury and get right back to playing as if they were never hurt!
Oooh I could see the Mazics taking football and changing it into their own sport, that could be interesting. Might even mix in a little quiddich and have a snitch be the target that each team is trying to get to a goal line.
If there's one thing the Fed and I can agree on, it's that Golf is the worst sport and we hate it.
...Our opinions quickly diverge on the subject of MiniGolf.
Indeed. Wilen’s exact synopsis of hockey was…. “This was like being dropped into the middle of a warzone, with zero warning.” 🤣 Poor guy witnessed someone getting laid out and an ensuing brawl
They would absolutely think fencers are trying to murder each other, and they'd see skeet shooting as training for hunting, which it kind of is. I mean, yeah, they are, to a being, idiotic enough to expect that those events routinely break down into mass murder sprees, but that's because every single Fed alien seems to think non-herbivores are mindless beasts incapable of refraining from eating every living thing they see.
>those events routinely break down into mass murder sprees
My first thought was of this [classic Onion bit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpaue3Jhn1o)
Boxing. Two people go in and beat the crap out of each other for rounds and rounds. And when hit particularly hard a boxer will get back up. Violence and endurance.
Imagine seeing two predators squaring up, both wearing just footwear and shorts, their muscles bulging. Then seeing that first punch land, watching the muscles expand and contract, watching the other body absorb it and then countering. Then seeing blood start to spill, at this point most Federation types would be well past panic, they would be giving up and preparing to die. Instead they watch these two continue on, they see someone cut them between rounds making them bleed more so they can see. All this repeating until the fight goes the number of rounds or one of them doesn't get back up, but doesn't die.
Then you get into the “exotic” varieties that people like the Russians dream up… looking at you, phone booth boxing
Wonder what they’d think of the WWE
Speaking of pro wrestling If u tell them in advance it's mostly fake the stories, punches, and kicks and that most of the slams and things like tables, and guitars are modified so they don't cause serious injuries. some of the prey species would be open to try and watch it. the axrur wouldn't watch if u tell them it's mostly fake probably.
Edit: spelling and punctuation
Unless it's something like ECW, TNA, and CZW and any other extreme/ultra violent promotions that's an immediate no go for the prey species the axrur would **LOVE** it tho
Naturally, they will say all this while ignoring their own sports and competitions.
DO THEY EVEN HAVE SPORTS?
I expect their most violent sports to be something like curling. Or synchronized swimming. I think they'd find golf too violent.
They should!
Why would they need sports? They don't need to get fit, it's a predator trait.
They used to, till the Kolshians declared them heretical or predatory or whatever and got rid of them
The most horrifying sport of all, disc golf. Hurling nearly silent projectiles - without a tool to launch it, just using their own hideous limbs - hundreds of meters with near pinpoint accuracy.
Can’t wait for the human frisbee assassins!
“Who throws a shoe? I mean, honestly!”
Football might end up being popular with the physically larger and tougher herd species. They can see the value in herd formations to protect the weaker members and fend off the predators on Defense. It might get popular with those big elephant guys.
Also the Arxur will like football for the opposite reason and root for the defense. Though some others might root for the offense if they're in the Egg caretaking industry. Also I'm gonna go ahead and call it on the Arxur's favorite competitive sport being Pro Bass Fishing and Deep Sea Angling competitions.
Fish fear me. Herbivores fear me. Humans turn their eyes away from me as I walk. No beasts dare make a sound in my presence. I am alone in this barren galaxy.
"Your puny scales and deficient intellect are no match for my cunning and prowess, you think you have victory over the pathetic 'Nightcrawler' but victory is mine today Billy Bass!" Also the Department of the Interior and the state DNR advertising Flying Buffett tours of Midwest rivers where they just armor up a driver and run a boat through and Arxur try to catch flying carp right out of the air with their teeth.
Lmao, could see the arxurs going to bass pro shop pyramid every now and then
“This bass pro shops you speak of must be a powerful hunter! Just look at the size of the monument they built to his achievements!”
I mean he isn't wrong, those are all real trophies in there and I think they come from corporate staffs hunts.
When the aliens come down all they really wanna see is the pyramid down the river down in Memphis Tennessee Made of glass and some brass, it'll knock you on your ass Make your damn jaw drop A: "what's that?" H: "It's our Bass Pro Shop. Duh! What'd ya think it was? Doesn't every city have a big-ass pyramid by the mud?"
The sports I'm betting the gojid will most be into is gonna be "Tractor Pulls" and Lumberjack competitions.
Speaking of Football, I understand that you mean "American Football" in your comment. But what about what we call "Football" and you call "soccer". Do you think that it can become popular among the alien ?
Do you really foresee aliens who are rendered incoherent by the mere thought of violence enjoying a game where humans run around, push and trip each other left and right, and go down rolling around on the ground in agony at least once a minute?
Well, presented like this I understand the problem but not all match are like that. It will be like playing with the kindergartens childs with the ex-federation species. And full force with the Arxur.
On the bright side, they'll be amazed at the sheer recovery speed humans are capable of as they see human after human hop right back up after a mind-blowing injury and get right back to playing as if they were never hurt!
If even one video of a football match is discovered by the feds or the Arxur, the secret of human hunt mechanism would be void.
Yeah every species is gonna like that. Every kid has probably owned a ball and kicked it around with their friends.
Soccer has a lot of running with very few opportunities for breaks. The aliens might not be up for that.
Oooh I could see the Mazics taking football and changing it into their own sport, that could be interesting. Might even mix in a little quiddich and have a snitch be the target that each team is trying to get to a goal line.
Yeah they could add a bonus ball they can shoot with their trunks.
If there's one thing the Fed and I can agree on, it's that Golf is the worst sport and we hate it. ...Our opinions quickly diverge on the subject of MiniGolf.
As they should.
There’s a patreon side story where a Zurulian goes go a hockey game and freaks out
Indeed. Wilen’s exact synopsis of hockey was…. “This was like being dropped into the middle of a warzone, with zero warning.” 🤣 Poor guy witnessed someone getting laid out and an ensuing brawl
Haha that’s great, the brawls are half the reason I watch!
Sadly only the first part is free
Give me the link please
Here you are: https://www.patreon.com/posts/nature-of-bonus-73739834
They would absolutely think fencers are trying to murder each other, and they'd see skeet shooting as training for hunting, which it kind of is. I mean, yeah, they are, to a being, idiotic enough to expect that those events routinely break down into mass murder sprees, but that's because every single Fed alien seems to think non-herbivores are mindless beasts incapable of refraining from eating every living thing they see.
>those events routinely break down into mass murder sprees My first thought was of this [classic Onion bit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpaue3Jhn1o)
I have never seen that bit of awesomeness before. Thanks for the link!
That's just fed propaganda
Boxing. Two people go in and beat the crap out of each other for rounds and rounds. And when hit particularly hard a boxer will get back up. Violence and endurance. Imagine seeing two predators squaring up, both wearing just footwear and shorts, their muscles bulging. Then seeing that first punch land, watching the muscles expand and contract, watching the other body absorb it and then countering. Then seeing blood start to spill, at this point most Federation types would be well past panic, they would be giving up and preparing to die. Instead they watch these two continue on, they see someone cut them between rounds making them bleed more so they can see. All this repeating until the fight goes the number of rounds or one of them doesn't get back up, but doesn't die.
Then you get into the “exotic” varieties that people like the Russians dream up… looking at you, phone booth boxing Wonder what they’d think of the WWE
Speaking of pro wrestling If u tell them in advance it's mostly fake the stories, punches, and kicks and that most of the slams and things like tables, and guitars are modified so they don't cause serious injuries. some of the prey species would be open to try and watch it. the axrur wouldn't watch if u tell them it's mostly fake probably. Edit: spelling and punctuation
Unless it's something like ECW, TNA, and CZW and any other extreme/ultra violent promotions that's an immediate no go for the prey species the axrur would **LOVE** it tho
Why has no one mentioned rugby? All the violence and endurance of football/hockey with none of the protective gear.
And, as far as memes have told me a dance routine by the teams, usually haka.
Venlil and Gojid’s are perfect size to get dunked on.
Yup and basketball is another high endurance sport
I’d love to see a write up of their reactions to different sports. Maybe even a scientific paper from the fed perspective.