Personally okay, but a Facebook friend said that the US's vibe is that of a corporation where everyone knows things are fucked and layoffs are coming, but you're being told that everything is okay. Honestly? Yeah. Sounds about right.
My dad just "poisoned" me. I have a lot of food intolerances and some of them are various seasonings. He made burgers tonight and after I realized that something set my stomach off we were trying to figure out what. My mom asked my dad what was in the patties and he said, "nothing just hamburger and spices," and you could see the lightbulb click as he figured out what happened. If I'm lucky I'll only be feeling like death tomorrow and not the rest of the week.
Woke up at 4am to a nightmare and haven’t had a good feeling about today since
Feels like a constant chill in my spine and repressed voice in my head screaming at me
I dyed a shirt today with my family and girlfriend, it was fun, my head hurts a tiny bit, and I’m very sad about how I look in regular pictures taken of me. I feel like I look too much like a boy and whenever I do finally come out and transition I won’t pass
I've been desperately trying to fight off a sudden bout of depression that's been tormenting me for the past couple of days, and that's been... fun. It's going actually not too terribly, though, and I'm managing to stay afloat (for now). And we finally got our air conditioner fixed after it's been broken for a year, so the house will no longer be 90+ degrees, so that's really nice.
Haven't been here in a while.
In real life things are definitely going. I've discussed a lot with my therapist, and have figured out a lot more things that were wrong within my life, including manipulation from parents, apparently. Go figure. I also made sure to bring up the gender part of my problems, and the therapist says that I am more enby-leaning than fem in his opinion, since apparently I "don't really understand the differences between the masculine and feminine". I disagree, but also cannot truly say.
Within the digital space I've found spaces where I could present how I want. One thing that I've learned during that is that apparently people... like me around? Still very difficult to believe, to be completely honest. >.<
Dysphoria exists. It sucks. I wanna be cute, but that regrowing hair on my body makes me wanna rip it out along with them foundations. Still shaving pretty much every time I shower. There are other things also, but I don't want to dig too far into this.
Not so long ago I submerged myself into the gaming process of Terraria a bit too much and ended up having two fights against the same boss. Both of these attempts combined took me over half an hour - most importantly, I won in that second one. One could say I have no life, and I'd agree, but hey, even though it seems like a heck of an endurance fight, I kinda just enjoyed doing it. Each and every attempt is a culmination of thousands of hours of learning and overcoming - the unwavering determination that carries me even outside of simple gaming and does not allow myself to even think of a sooner end.
To the ones who read this all or skipped to this point (I don't really care \^\^') - you deserve a cookie. 🍪
Still being unspecifically dysphoric. I have to survive this workday without breaking out into tears. I have no reason to be so sad, but I just am. I should stop reading the news.
Not great. I had to put my dog down today
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that Ella. 🫂
I'm so sorry to hear that Ella 🫂
NIOOOOOOO
I'm so sorry for you!
Managed to get away with not mowing and I was on express for half my shift, so it certainly could’ve been worse.
Nice
Personally okay, but a Facebook friend said that the US's vibe is that of a corporation where everyone knows things are fucked and layoffs are coming, but you're being told that everything is okay. Honestly? Yeah. Sounds about right.
More like the security guards in the South tower after the first plane hit asking everyone to stay calm and not evacuate.
Yeah...
A rollercoaster of dread, brief points of levity and optimism when I forget about everything going on, then back to helplessness, anger, then dread.
I'm sorry to hear that
I’m starting to feel my rage break.
I don't know if that's good or not
Just recent events have made me angry. Okay feeling a bit better. Took two sodas a full pizza and a Gatorade but I’m fine now.
I feeling so much better than i have in days, not really sure why i feel so much better but im thankful that i am finally feeling positive
That's good!
My dad just "poisoned" me. I have a lot of food intolerances and some of them are various seasonings. He made burgers tonight and after I realized that something set my stomach off we were trying to figure out what. My mom asked my dad what was in the patties and he said, "nothing just hamburger and spices," and you could see the lightbulb click as he figured out what happened. If I'm lucky I'll only be feeling like death tomorrow and not the rest of the week.
That sucks
Woke up at 4am to a nightmare and haven’t had a good feeling about today since Feels like a constant chill in my spine and repressed voice in my head screaming at me
I'm sorry to hear that
Really tired and keep having nightmares.
I'm sorry to hear that
I dyed a shirt today with my family and girlfriend, it was fun, my head hurts a tiny bit, and I’m very sad about how I look in regular pictures taken of me. I feel like I look too much like a boy and whenever I do finally come out and transition I won’t pass
I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you like your shirt
I've been desperately trying to fight off a sudden bout of depression that's been tormenting me for the past couple of days, and that's been... fun. It's going actually not too terribly, though, and I'm managing to stay afloat (for now). And we finally got our air conditioner fixed after it's been broken for a year, so the house will no longer be 90+ degrees, so that's really nice.
I'm sorry to hear that I'm glad you at least got your AC fixed
i just woke up
Well I hope you have a great day
In two words sad and lonely. All I’ve done is sit in my room alone with my thoughts and it’s scary. They say mean things and give me bad ideas.
I'm really sorry to hear that 🫂
I had a pretty awesome day! Unfortunately it’s super late and I need to get some sleep, so I can’t talk about it much. How are you?
I'm doing fantastic
I got to the summit in Celeste (:
Congratulations!
Haven't been here in a while. In real life things are definitely going. I've discussed a lot with my therapist, and have figured out a lot more things that were wrong within my life, including manipulation from parents, apparently. Go figure. I also made sure to bring up the gender part of my problems, and the therapist says that I am more enby-leaning than fem in his opinion, since apparently I "don't really understand the differences between the masculine and feminine". I disagree, but also cannot truly say. Within the digital space I've found spaces where I could present how I want. One thing that I've learned during that is that apparently people... like me around? Still very difficult to believe, to be completely honest. >.< Dysphoria exists. It sucks. I wanna be cute, but that regrowing hair on my body makes me wanna rip it out along with them foundations. Still shaving pretty much every time I shower. There are other things also, but I don't want to dig too far into this. Not so long ago I submerged myself into the gaming process of Terraria a bit too much and ended up having two fights against the same boss. Both of these attempts combined took me over half an hour - most importantly, I won in that second one. One could say I have no life, and I'd agree, but hey, even though it seems like a heck of an endurance fight, I kinda just enjoyed doing it. Each and every attempt is a culmination of thousands of hours of learning and overcoming - the unwavering determination that carries me even outside of simple gaming and does not allow myself to even think of a sooner end. To the ones who read this all or skipped to this point (I don't really care \^\^') - you deserve a cookie. 🍪
Things seem to be going well then
Still being unspecifically dysphoric. I have to survive this workday without breaking out into tears. I have no reason to be so sad, but I just am. I should stop reading the news.
I'm really sorry to hear that Ori
Thank you. I sometimes have that. :( i always fear my depression might come back.. but it got better now.
Fine enough, felt like I ate too much today tho. (Small bowl of Cereal, 2 oatmeal sandwich cookies, and serving of lasagna if anyone is wondering.)