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Professional-Box4153

David Attenborough: "When threatened, the pair will emit small amounts of noxious gas to ward away predators."


ParadoxicallySweet

I’m cackling 🤣🤣


ParadoxicallySweet

I keep on coming back to this. If I could add user flair to life, this would be mine. Thanks.


kirinthedragon

I can’t stop laughing!


DiogenesBarrelisCozy

Well water?


flying-penguine

Yeah, take your own bottled water and don't let it out of your sight incase they well meaningly top it up while you don't notice.


ParadoxicallySweet

We’ll be going back this week. I’ll try to take my own water this time and check if the farting still happens.


lgday7

I am for some inconceivable reason HEAVILY invested in this case. Please update at your EARLIEST convenience after said visit. Thank you so much for your time with this. I will be (im)patiently waiting for your reply.


ParadoxicallySweet

lol to be fair, the question had been driving me crazy for years. Will do!


lgday7

Thank you so much! I honestly don’t know how you’ve managed to sleep at night. I would have a full crime-web on my wall with photos, strings, and newspaper clippings trying to piece it all together. Every night I would stare at this and say: “I better put on a pot of coffee, it’s going to be a long night.” And then proceed to stay up into the wee hours of the night trying to crack the case.


ParadoxicallySweet

lmao 🤣 I see a Netflix documentary inbound. “One woman. One obsession. Many farts. How far would you go to find out the truth?”


iguessda

How far(t) would you go


HuskerHayDay

“Can you stop riding my ass! We have to go deeper!”


herculesmeowlligan

Into the bowels of this mystery


waiting_for_rain

“Do you smell that, partner? Its the truth. We’re close.”


bookworthy

“That? That’s the smell of change, Billy.”


PM_meyourGradyWhite

Or a series. You do visit occasionally. Each episode a new investigation.


ParadoxicallySweet

Three episodes, to be precise. On the first one, gradual buildup, ending with a major unexpected twist. The second investigates that twist and the obvious explanation profoundly, finding some corroborative evidence, but then slowly prove it wrong; a new theory emerges. The third episodes kind of tells you a few final answers but leaves out a lot of vital information and leaves you with more questions and no solutions. 57% on rotten tomatoes. 🍅


lgday7

Wow, I am SOLD. I’m willing to invest into this groundbreaking flatulence thriller documentary. A whole new genre! Want to partner up? We could make dozens of dollars. DOZENS.


Pandoratastic

The twist is that, unlike most fart mysteries, the question isn't whodunnit?


KaleidoscopeFun7640

shut up and take my money


Gourmet-Rocks

Bonus points for using the term “fart water”


BonerDeploymentDude

all explletives are bleeped out with a fart.


chinneganbeginagain

I really need to see this show now.


vankoder

Gives a whole new meaning to 'gaslighting yourself'.


pintjockeycanuck

Ooh or a podcast like the Australian one "Who Shit on the Floor at my Wedding?"


Electronic_Job1998

I laughed too hard at that. And I'm a long way from being 12 years old.


ProjectOrpheus

"THERE IS NO PEPE SILVIA!"


lgday7

Not only do all of these people exist, but they’re all pissed and looking for their mail!


Fragrant_Butthole

I am also very invested in the outcome


lgday7

Username checks out!


awkward__penguin

I’m super invested too lmao Updateme!


dhans59h

Same. I need a follow up or this is what I will think about on sleepless nights.


[deleted]

Me too, I've just followed OP in hopes I'll have "updates as they happen"


ParadoxicallySweet

Well, you might find out I have previously posted a [story about bowel issues](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/qZ4Pew3MPX) but that was in a whole other country and that mystery was thankfully solved (spoiler alert: expired food); they are unrelated bowel problems of entirely different magnitudes. I am otherwise a healthy bowelled person.


Jorgedig

A fart-by-fart.


WitchesAlmanac

Conduct a scientific experiment! One of you drinks the bottled water, one of you drinks their tap water. See who farts and who doesn't


white_rabbit85

This would be the correct way to approach the problem.


MarkVII88

If you really want to test this water theory properly, then you can't drink, or likely eat anything that's had their well water in it. This includes coffee, tea, iced tea, even the ice cubes from their freezer.


ThippusHorribilus

Exactly - Or washed in or cooked in, either.


LittleBoiFound

I’m going to be thinking about this a lot from now to then. Please remember to come back and update. I’m quite curious!


Positive_Wafer42

Right? I can't believe I'm doing this... Updateme!


GoNinjaPro

Unbelievable that you would want an update on this topic! But yeah, me too.


First_Prime_Is_2

As an experiment, don't let your partner bring their own water, just you. That way there is a control in place for the experiment.


ParadoxicallySweet

YOU’RE A GENIUS! This is the way.


Motor_Relation_5459

I came to say it's the water! I have had this happen. I didn't know what it was until my husband pointed it out.


[deleted]

Why would well water cause this?


Electr0Girl

I may be wrong, but I think it has to do with types of bacteria or sulfur compounds commonly found in well water


loreshdw

Well water is often nasty with sulfur, iron, other minerals, bacteria, etc. Without a filtration system you would probably notice a smell or taste different from your water at home. If they have a filtration system it might need a service call. Our well water system is old and breaks small gears or sensors, the change is definitely noticeable when it does! Still waiting on a replacement unit.


Humorilove

Get a water bottle that filters the water you put in it.


MmeXL

My parents have a well at their house and I always bring bottled water to drink there (I drink a lot of water), even to the point of using it to cook pasta and make my tea, otherwise I have terrible “digestive uncertainty” the entire time I’m there, until about two days after I get home.


Helouie22

Digestive uncertainty is a phrase I will be using often in future.


jonnyl3

>well meaningly Ha


smoke25ofd

As a well drilling contractor, I strongly agree. Their well water needs to be at least tested for coliform bacteria. Those are also indicators for other pathogens that need not be present. Many states have responsible well codes, but not all. Well water can be fantastic, or toxic, just like food can be if improperly respected.


BlueEyes294

We built and moved next door to in-laws - the house where my husband grew up. As an engineer - he had the well water (ours and theirs) tested 16 ways from Sunday. Turns out it was not good to drink. High levels of everything they tested. We installed filter systems in both houses and tested fine. My FIL developed bad Alzheimer’s before he died and my MIL had very advanced dementia. My husband is a brilliant engineer but his siblings have the intelligence level of my belly button lint. My husband is the only adopted one. I often wonder about correlation, causation and if the siblings are aware they are so not smart.


smoke25ofd

I can't tell you how often we have people resist drilling a new well because, "...Grandma and Granpa had the best water up here! We would bring gallons of it home every time we visited! They loved their water! Unfortunately, they both have passed away, and we need to drill a new well to sell the house. It's so sad. The inspection said it was not code-compliant or something..." Then, we go to abandon their old well and discover it was only seven feet deep. No wonder G'ma and G'pa died young. They were drinking surface water from the ditch...


Hour_Current_1245

This was my thought too. Also OP, don't forget the coffee is probably made with it too


blue-jaypeg

The water could have sulfur. Human beings cannot digest sulfur. But the intestines make a jolly good effort, which produces clouds of gas. Do you notice mephitic odors of brimstone?


Jorgedig

This is a soul who knows *farts.*


[deleted]

> Human beings cannot digest sulfur. Sulfur is an element. It cannot be digested as in broken down further. It _is_ digested as in absorbed by the intestines for use by the body. And one of the two amino acids that contains sulfur is an essential one (methionine), without which the body cannot build protein. When you eat more of it then your gut bacteria get to eat more of it too, and produce the stanky compounds with it as a result. Nothing magical.


breath-of-the-smile

Speak for yourself, my intestines can split the atom.


ToesocksandFlipflops

This was my thought as well. I have a well and when I was nursing my kids they got ridiculous gas and were totally colicky until my sister suggested a Britta filter, and viola, no more gas and colick.


OkElderberry4333

LMAO! This thread is hysterical! And this is the reason I Reddit 😂


rs310cso

I agree. Water could be highly alkaline. That would give aches and flatulence without diarrhea.


gholmom500

Bacteria in their lines or well could cause big problems.


CesiaFace

Wait why well water


RichCorinthian

Because it hasn’t gone through any standardized cleaning or treatment. So it’s got bacteria that may generate toots? Or something like that?


opinionatedlyme

Toots


VintageTimex

I have a similar issue when visiting my parents as well. It's their water that causes it. I'm fine when it's boiled for coffee, tea and soup, so I buy bottle water to drink while I'm there.


ParadoxicallySweet

Im thinking it might be the water, yes. It’s a house in the countryside, maybe something in the plumbing?


Few-Comparison5689

My sister in law had constant stomach issues, finally figured out it was likely their well water. They hired a guy to clean their tank and he said it was full of mold. 🤮


Nochairsatwork

When my parents sold their last house they learned their well had enormously high levels of E. coli. They weren't affected because it slowly increased as they were drinking it. Had to do extensive treatments on the well before they could sell the house. Yum 🤌🏼


S_A_N_D_

Microbiologist here, not all E coli is harmful or will make you sick. It's entirely possible what was in their cistern was harmless. You have E coli in you right now. The reason we take high E coli (or just high coliform) counts seriously is because it's indicative of a contamination that could include harmful bacteria as well, including harmful stains of E coli. Your parents weren't affected not because they were immune, but because it wasn't a harmful strain. It's unlikely that they would be immune to pathogenic stains.


freakytapir

I love E. Coli. Such a fun model organism (Bio-Engineer here). Nice fast growth speed, lots of tools to work on it. Robust. And then you learn of Enterohemorrhagic E. Colli. ... I did not need that image. In case anyone is wondering, it does not just cause the shits, it causes you to shit blood. Yes, I know, technically all shit contains dead blood cells, but the words "Bloody dysentery" aren't things you want to hear as a slightly hung over student.


Immediate-Yogurt-558

I worked in ER registration for years and it's number one on the list of smells that will forever haunt my olafactory system. Im gagging just thinking about it.


freakytapir

For me it was during my Master Thesis. I worked with Raw sewage (Well, technically, activated sludge) That I had to concentrate by sedimentation and removing the supernatans. That smell should have been a warning. And then work with in a basement lab kept at 30°C. Short term I thought I could handle it, but I did have to run out into the fresh air a couple of times my first week there. Then ... the incident happened. A reactor overpressurised, I didn't spot it, I opened it. I looked like a dalmatian in my labcoat, it sprayed the ceiling, and the only thought I had was ... "Oh god, it's in my mouth." (Edit: To clarify, I was heavily vaccinated against all kind of things before I was allowed to work there) How I did not spontaneously vomit right there and then I'll never know. The only thing the professor had to say was "At least the ceiling isn't freshly painted this time. Get to cleaning". Then again, i have a pretty high smell tolerance as I spent my summers at scout camp shitting into an open pit in 30°C weather. 50 Kids shitting into the same latrine for 12 days? Yeah, doesn't matter that you throw some bleach in there once in a while, or throw some dirt over it every few days.


Immediate-Yogurt-558

While I am sorry that happened to you, I wholeheartedly thank you for laugh. The "oh god, it's in my mouth" realization/panic killed me.


Amethyst-Sapphire

My well had to be bleach shocked when I bought my former house because there was measurable E Coli. If I still had a well, I'd probably have the water tested like my township does every year.


13thmurder

I bought a house with that problem. A UV light filter was a few hundred dollars installed and solved it instantly. Zero detectable bacteria on tests now.


arowthay

Oh noooooo! OP u/paradoxicallysweet you should def try and see if they'll get their tank checked out, see above comment 🤢


ParadoxicallySweet

Yeah, I’ll try to eliminate the milder options first before I start thinking severe disgusting mold. For sanity’s sake.


freyasmom129

I used to have stomach issues at my house (well water), I have since sold the house and my stomach has been a lot better… interesting


VintageTimex

Possibly, but if it's a well, there can be all kinds of things leaching into the water. Our farm well had natural gas in it from time to time.


markfineart

Had sulphur water from an artesian well once when helping chase down stray cows while on foot (those suckers move across country like the wind) and was all hot and thirsty. Realized there’s thirsty and then there’s parched for anything wet. I wasn’t parched, so I could only handle a sip or two. It already smelled and tasted flatulent so I have no idea if it could trigger belly gas.


Nearby-Complaint

There's a part of me that wants to know how the water tasted flatulent and another part of me that deeply doesn't


kangourou_mutant

Sulphur smells like rotten eggs. Like the smell when you just light a match, the first 2 seconds - that's the sulfur. Fun fact: in Reykjavik (Iceland) the hot water at the taps is natural hot water (comes hot from the ground because of volcanic activity), and it smells like sulphur. It was really weird getting in a shower that smelled bad... but after a few days you get used to it, and it starts smelling "clean".


Nearby-Complaint

Ah, how unpleasant. Thank you.


Gullible-Avocado9638

I stayed at a friends ranch in Idaho and they used the natural sulphuric springs to heat the house by running the copper water pipes beneath the floor. They used the same water in a natural rock shower and they also had a bath of freezing snow water. We alternated between the two pools and the next day I was swollen like the Hindenburg my face barely recognizable. I went to ER and they gave me steroids for the allergic reaction and sent me on my way. So yeah. Water can do funny things. Turns out I’m highly allergic to sulphur.


cupcakerica

Can you take a sample of their water next visit and send it to a testing facility? How’s their kitchen hygiene?


Cayke_Cooky

Home Depot had free testing kits last time I was there (I don't know if that is something local though). The checkout guy gave me 2, I haven't used them yet so I don't actually know what they test for... Anyway you could get one and claim it was free and you are sharing?


ParadoxicallySweet

I’m not in the US but I’ll check if I can find something similar here!


DrToonhattan

Oh, there must be a water test kit you can order online. I'd expect they're fairly cheap too. See if you can get one before your next visit.


MephistosFallen

TIL well water can make you have comically explosive farts


LowBalance4404

Every single time I eat at my mom's I get diarrhea. We live near each other, so it's not the water. I love her, it's not stress. I've been going over a bit early to watch her cook and I think it's come down to one thing. She uses the same sponge to clean counters, cutting boards, and to wash dishes. That's the only thing I've observed. It could be something small like that.


Satiricallysardonic

And this shit is exactly why I use dish rags and wash them after every dishes session. My mom did the same thing as a kid, biology class taught me why not, so I invested in reusable rags with the fun scrubbie side.


LowBalance4404

I mean, it was bad. I live about 5 miles from my mom and by the time I would get home, I needed the toilet as I was walking through the door. Like badly needed the toilet.


tjdux

Your mom has cross contamination poisoned her self so much she has grown immunity. That's quite the gross sad.


LowBalance4404

I agree and the funny thing is, her house is so clean, you could lick the floors. She is an absolute neat and clean freak. It's just this one area that I don't know what happened.


tjdux

She was taught poorly and them "cured" herself of the consequences so she likey doesn't believe there's any reason to change. Maybe informative videos from a reliable source like the USDA cleaning guidelines.


LowBalance4404

I genuinely don't think food safety was a thing back in the day.


freyascats

My stepmother attended a Catholic high school in Ireland in the early 1970s and they beat into her the need for multiple sponges and dish cloths and a separate bleach rag and so on.


Rdavisreddit

This is my MIL house. It’s truly spotless but the sponge wreaks and she uses it for EVERYTHING even the kitchen table! 🤢


loverofnaps

My mom does the same thing, and she is also very clean with the rest of her house. But she will wash the dishes, then use the same dirty dish cloth to clean the counters, stove top, and the table and placemats. She'll often give the nearby cupboard doors and the fridge handle a quick wipe down with it too. It grosses me out. I've learned that I can't mention anything like this to her because she gets very defensive and angry, and it can last for days. I am cautious of what I eat at her house, and I try to feed my son before she gets a chance. When she is at my house and insists on doing dishes, I always wash everything down with a CLEAN cloth before she gets the chance. Or as soon as I see her finish washing, I will take the dirty dish cloth and replace it with a clean and wet one hopefully before she notices. If all else fails, when she leaves the kitchen and dining room I quickly wipe everything down with disinfectant. She doesn't do this with anything else, and is very clean. I don't know why she can't or refuses to see how dirty and gross it is.


Aggressive_Freedom28

Mine is the same, clean house but one cloth for everything, including pet puke. She also boils eggs in the same water as potatoes at the same time, the eggs are from her chickens so often have shit on them. Gets defensive if I mention anything. Also gets upset when I won't eat there. Its weird shes very hygienic in every other way.


Frequent-Industry113

Im convinced my mom actually did this. She’ll make pasta or something and leave the half full pot on the stove for a day or 2 then just turn the burner back on to warm it up and eat it! Im like how does that not make you sick???


owntheh3at18

Omg that is horrifying


Cinnie_16

Same!!! Every time I go home I get tummy issues and I have no idea why. I grew up in that house and it’s my own mother! My siblings still live home and they are fine. I was so confused… until I realized my mom is probably cross contaminating and after moving out and no longer being exposed to that daily, I lost the immunity to it. It’s so gross and now I try to point out anything I see that’s not up to standard but old habits are hard to break for older folks 🤷🏻‍♀️ I willingly subject myself to the occasional food poisoning whenever it’s an important family event now. I just brace myself. 🤦🏻‍♀️


LowBalance4404

Do you ever pre-game? Instead of vodka before hitting the club, it's taking Imodium before Mom's house.


Cinnie_16

Never thought of that… I take peptol after. Maybe a pre-dose might help more 🤔… the sacrifices we make for family 🤦🏻‍♀️


inscrutableJ

I have definitely done this for family holiday parties. I have no idea which cousin has a nasty kitchen, but every single Thanksgiving potluck is immediately followed by a "stomach virus" outbreak.


Daisymaysgarden

It’s whatever cousin doesn’t get the “stomach virus”.


LowBalance4404

Ugh. I don't do potlucks anymore for this very reason and the fact I saw dog or cat hair on a sweet potato dish. I tapped myself out.


ZealousidealSea2737

Hahaha I had a family member like this and I made the spinge disappear and when they asked I just said oh don't know time for a new one.


stressedthrowaway9

Yea… my in laws use the same towel to mop off spills from the floor as they do to dry dishes and the table. I’ve had to kind of train my husband not to do this…. It’s gross!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bryanthomas44

Dad gave me diarrhea every time


Bryanthomas44

Not saying he was a shitty parent, but…


Crafty-Koshka

That's so disgusting. Did you mention that behavior of hers is unsafe? I hope she changed so you or anyone else doesn't get sick


LowBalance4404

I have, actually. Bought her a whole bunch of new sponges, pretty smelling counter spray and lysol wipes. I also printed out a few articles for her to read about contamination.


Tough_Crazy_8362

I love this! I doubt you’re being poisoned. My first thought is what is their water source? Edit ✍🏻 I have follow up questions! - do the farts hurt? (My bad, I see they’re painful, are they for both of you)? Does just your stomach hurt or is it your gut? - are they before bed or after waking? - do you drink more alcohol there? (This is my culprit lolll)


ParadoxicallySweet

My stomach hurts from being expanded from gas when there. The farting eases off a few hours after leaving. Today, my husband visited them without me and has been farting since. They ate at a restaurant and then spent the afternoon chatting, no more food involved. It’s either the air or the water, I think.


curiousnboredd

I can imagine him not telling you he visited them then as soon as he walks in and you smell him you go “you been at your parents haven’t you” lmao The superpower no one thought they need


ParadoxicallySweet

lol


WhatevUsayStnCldStvA

Just envisioned him walking thru the door. “Hi , honey I’m home!” Rips a loud one. Instantly knows where he’s been lmao


cannaco19

Reads like something out of a sitcom


NamingandEatingPets

Altitude? Sometimes my partner I go to visit family who live at a much higher altitude than we do and we always wind up either having issues with gas or constipation.


Proof_Room_4004

I was going to say altitude as well, def a culprit for me 😬


salgak

In my misbegotten youth, I flew B-52s for the USAF. Cabin pressure was typically 8000 feet, but if the bird was leaky, or had a pressure seal fail in flight, I can remember cabin altitudes of 13-14000 feet (yes, we were on oxygen masks and 100% oxygen feed for those times...). On flights like that, we tended to vent the cabin manually, when we got below 10,000 feet, because 6 or more guys in a confined space, all venting their guts due to low air pressure. . well, 'rank' doesn't even come close to how nasty it got in the cockpit....😎. And Explosive Decompressions were even more so: only had one in flight, but two more on Altitude Chamber rides: that was like an outward punch \*\*from\*\* your gut and a truly massive fart (Chamber rides typically did explosive D's from 8 k to 38k in about 2 seconds...)


Cayke_Cooky

what about sodapop or sparkling waters? Are you drinking more carbonated things with them?


FrequentSoftware7331

The same thing happened with my aunts. Apparently, they broke af and cooked and stored the same fat they used.


lahaniko

How long do you have to travel to get there? Could it be that the trip or the environment there does smth?


ParadoxicallySweet

45 min by car, 40km away.


Jeffiner310

Is there a big elevation change?


[deleted]

as i sit her listening to my mother in law breaking wind. i told her if she timed it right she wouldnt have trouble getting off the couch.


marilynmouse

“cabbage, she serves me. in a few minutes i’ll be sky writing” - sophia, the golden girls


EaddyAcres

Ibs maybe? Do they stress yall out?


ParadoxicallySweet

They do, but I don’t get this flatulent in other stressful situations. The car ride back home is always… olfactory torture.


EaddyAcres

Could just be food yall don't normally eat. As a farmer I eat veggies seasonally. Every crossover from summer stuff to winter and vice-versa turns me and the wife into weather balloons for a week.


beachgirlDE

Corn on the cob, tomatoes, cucumbers......so good but so gassy!


TheGeneralTulliuss

I have IBS, and stress is definitely a trigger. So is travel.


[deleted]

Do they have hard water? Or sulfur water? That used to happen to my entire family after visiting my grandmother


ParadoxicallySweet

Well the water is quite hard here, but it doesn’t taste any different to ours at home. I’ll test the water theory this week by bringing my own.


Miss-Indie-Cisive

Maybe bring a sample of their water in for testing too? IF theyre on a well that should be done every once in a while. Maybe there are contaminants. Might just be all over their glasses and dishes, regardless of whether you chug a glass of H20 there or something like coke, but poured into a glass.


Rancid_Rabbit_

every time you go over they somehow slip something in you that knocks you out. then they pump air up your ass.


ParadoxicallySweet

lol this must be the answer.


GardenGrammy59

Could they have toxic mold in their home?


ClandestineAlpaca

I wonder if my parents have that at their home… My parents home smells like mold or mildew when I step in, I can smell mildew very well (so can my sibling who doesn’t live there btw). We get a little bit of stomach ache when we eat their food and get a bit of a cough House is from 80sand messy Food cross contamination issues and chopping boards with black (mold?) on side of of board The residents of the house say they can’t smell it. My siblings and I are VERY short. Shorter than parents and I always wondered if something was wrong in the house


thehotmegan

if you can smell it, that means its BAD. and if youre experiencing those symptoms, its REALLY, REALLY BAD. no one has a good reaction to mold, but im allergic to it. i can usually tell if a building has mold bc ill have symtpoms like you described. but if i can see it and smell it, ill start having hot flashes & breaking out in hives within 10-20 minutes. your parents dont think anything is wrong & thats part of the reason mold exposure tends to be so deadly. exposure to this amount of mold can cause serious cognitive impairment: headaches, confusion, delusions, personality changes... essentially it causes permanent brain damage... which means it may or may not get better, even with mold removal. and of course it can & may eventually be fatal, depending on the mold. i dont want you to panic but i want you to understand that theres something wrong here. id call a mold removal company, but i know those can be expensive. as a last resort, the county assessor &/or code enforcement can confirm the presence of mold, but they obviously cant fix it. i dont want your parents to be fined or have their home condemned but it is a matter worth pressing & IMO escalating to this level if necessary. (source: RN in SFL - seen what black mold can do & its an ugly, awful way to go)


Vertigobee

Dunno why this is so far down. Could easily be in the air vents.


Euphoric-Structure13

Maybe it's something in the air. I know that whenever I go to a bookstore that has a lot of old, used books or go to a section of our city library that has a lot of old books, I often have to have a massive BM. I think the old books are "off gassing" something that causes this.


noobengland

Not OP but I just saw a reel on Instagram talking about how everyone inexplicably gets the sudden urge to drop a load at Barnes & Noble 🤣🤔 there’s something to this!


Rekd44

I used to work in a library. Had to dump out every single shift I worked, no matter if I had already gone that day.


sovietsatan666

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariko_Aoki_phenomenon


Gealbhancoille

This is like Havana syndrome but with farts. No one can figure out how it’s happening.


slyzard94

Fear farts. They happen to the best of us.


zorniy2

Altitude, maybe? If they live higher up, the gas in your stomach expands because it's lower pressure outside.


ClickClackTipTap

Is it possible they use sugar substitutes in anything? Sorbitol in particular can cause stomach distress, but I struggle with any of the fake sugars. Splenda, stevia, monk fruit, erythritol, etc will mess me up with a combination or stomach distress and headache symptoms.


ParadoxicallySweet

No sugar substitutes, and it happens even if we don’t eat. :o


Hi-Scan-Pro

Since it happens even if you don't eat, is it behavioral? Do you subconsciously hold your farts while you're there and then let it all out on the ride home? I've had some inlaws that made me want to shit just being in their presence. 


ParadoxicallySweet

I hold everything in while there, but my husband grew up in this environment, so he shouldn’t be this affected. It really is extreme. Sometimes while listening to my FIL making one of his long winded analysis of current events and world politics, I feel like if I tilt even 1 degree to the side I’ll just let out a long gush of air like an untied balloon.


toast-girl69

Just because he grew up in the environment doesn't mean it was healthy... Maybe he had bad gas then but didn't realise because it was the norm. And since he no longer lives there he notices it because it's now not the norm. Do his parents suffer from it as well but are personally unaware because it's been their norm for so long? If it is the water they should invest in a filtration system, and be sure to change the filters at the recommended time frame. Keeping filters in too long becomes a breeding zone for baaaaaaaaad bugs. Set calendar reminders.


sentientdriftwood

This actually sounds like an acceptable response to his diatribes. Tilt away.


Gandgareth

Fake sugars mess me up so much, I lump them under one name, sore-butt-hole.


mapofcuriosity

Like these gummy bears? https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC


genredenoument

The water absolutely needs to be tested ASAP. It could easily have a heavy metal or mineral contamination. Just because your in-laws have no apparent symptoms does not mean they aren't in medical danger. There are multiple mineral contaminants that can cause serious long-term problems. The water should be tested for mineral contaminants as well as bacteria and excessive fertilizer and pesticide levels. If they don't have a really good reverse osmosis system, they need one.


gonzagylot00

Are they stressful to be around? Sounds like you all clam up when with them and then let it fly when the pressure is off. Literally anal retentive around them, and then anal expulsive when the pressure is off


ParadoxicallySweet

That was our previous working theory: they make our anal sphincter tense with their high brow sterile melancholy. But other stressful situations we face do not have the same effects. And it happens to both of us.


Chernobyl_Wolves

>they make our anal sphincter tense with their high brow sterile melancholy It’s like poetry!


[deleted]

😂


JegHusker

If you both feel nervous there, you may be unconsciously gulping air. That can give anyone the toots.


SpaceLovingNerd

My husband and I are so invested in this right now. I just told him you updated and he yelled “HOLD ON. IM COMING!” As he ‘closes up’ the living room for the night and runs back here to bed so I can read him the latest and greatest in this saga. He has no social media and I only have Reddit - I show him things here and there but this is the first and only post he’s ever asked me “can you like subscribe to this so we can find out what happens here?” 😭😭😭😂😂😂


ExcaliburVader

I subscribed too! Only the second time since I’ve been on Reddit!😆


DandyBoyBebop

Oh that just sounds like standard stepmother poisoning, nothing to worry about


[deleted]

Decades ago there was an outbreak of food poisoning on a cruise ship. They actually did a public health study on the situation. Those who did not drink were the sickest. Those who drank hard liquor did not suffer as much. But those who drank dry white wine had the fewest symptoms. I don't recall the exact reasons but it was thought the alcohol and acidity of the white wine gave a lot of protection. It is possible that his parents are preparing food in a way that they are accustomed too, but you are not. Drinking a few glasses of wine will also lower your anxiety which could also be a contributing factor. Or do you stop for snacks on the way? If there is a public health school in your area you might want to contact them as this would be a very cool study for an epidemiology class.


Meef1234

I went to Mexico with my family. They were all drinking. I was the only one who didn’t. I was very careful about not getting any of the water in my mouth. I was the only one who got sick. My ass exploded like a garden hose turned all the way up..it was crazy.


LostAfon

Ice cubes can be a major culprit for food poisoning, not saying it was here, but they’re often not thought about in drinks and can be made and stored really poorly.


Visual-Lobster6625

I know when I visit friends/relatives, I try to hold in my farts so that I'm not stinking up someone else's house or embarrassing myself. So when I get home and can be a little more relaxed, my gut gets back to normal by letting all the extra pressure out.


GlitterFern

Do you drink tea while you're there? My mom used to serve my grandmother laxative tea because she hoped it woukd stop her from visiting every week.


DiverofMuff23

Maybe your in laws hate you and are slowly poisoning you both while you’re there?


ParadoxicallySweet

Nah, they’re more the melancholic passive aggressive sad type of hateful, that would require too much initiative and energy.


DiverofMuff23

It’s always the quiet ones


IchibanBlue

I am more interested in this than any locked safe post. I cannot wait to have an answer.


the_honest_liar

Got any updates op?


trebben0

My parents do the same thing. They think its hilarious to add some robitussen or melatonin to the water to make us drousy and more relaxed. We bring our own bottled water and don't eat there anymore.


thecoolestlol

That's insane of them


okiegirlkim

And a felony in some places


FictionalTrope

I'd say a little playful poisoning of my partner and me is grounds for never seeing my parents again. What the fuck.


ClickClackTipTap

That's absolutely insane.


arowthay

You would hate to see what some people on the raised by narcissists sub have gone through then. :/ parents drugging their children is unfortunately a common form of abuse/control.


Lady_of_Lomond

That's actively criminal.


ParadoxicallySweet

Well, that got dark quickly. Though I wouldn’t put it past my own mother.


Seltzer-Slut

They do WHAT


VegasLife1111

That’s creepy as hell…


topicalsatan

Jesus Christ


ObjectiveEmergency94

Um what now?


malibuklw

Wait, what?


[deleted]

[удалено]


PM_meyourGradyWhite

Phlatulence


ProjectOrpheus

Consider the possibility you are engaging in some behavior to a higher degree that you wouldn't normally do AS MUCH if you weren't visiting them...this would allow it to fly under your own radar An example would be...well, some married couples might, say... engage in more drinking than usual to smoothen such an experience? So you think "It can't be the drinking, we drink at home too!" but don't realize yourself drinking faster because a racial slur flew for some reason, you've barely been there an hour, and your subconscious will be DAMNED if it's gonna even for a moment consider enduring the experience rawdog. Hmm..maybe somethings different about your routine BEFORE you guys head out? Something definitely stinks....but why?! 🧐