This is exactly right. My partner and I are on somewhat different sides of the political spectrum yet we’ve been married 23 years and going strong. My parents were also on different sides and they were married for 60+ years before they passed.
My in-laws are politically 100% aligned and yet I’ve never known a couple to fight the way they do. Treating eachother with total disrespect, name calling etc.
It comes down to mutual respect for each others opinions and aligned values.
When it comes to living with differences, I've come to simplify it down to living in the same reality. If you don't live in the same reality, relationships are hard. But, to your point, living in the same reality does not guarentee compatiblity. I don't think my inlaws, who are 100% politically aligned, even like each other. What keeps them going is they hate the same people.
Political reality is different than personal reality though. Personal reality is how you perceive and treat people you interact with, political reality is how laws/institutions should treat people.
Unfortunately with my inlaws, their political reality is so far reaching that there are few places it doesn't touch, and their political views and affiliation very much informs their views on how they treat others. I don't think they are rare.
It depends on what the differences are. Is it a “it’s perfectly acceptable to dismantle other people’s rights” difference or is it taxes and guns? There’s a rate of diminishing returns depending on how radical they are and how much you care about others being victimized. All of the happy couples I know who are not aligned politically ARE aligned on how willing they are to sacrifice the needs of others for their own comfort.
I can understand getting along when you disagree on economics. It'd be weird to me if couple claims they are in happy marriage, but disagree on basic human equalities. Like one is liberal, other says abortion is murder, gay "lifestyle" is a sin, vaccines are hoax. I don't see how that could ever work.
I’m Christian my partner is an atheist that pulls Bushism beliefs which I think is in line with a lot of Christian values (at least what matters to me). I guess what made it works for us is that he told me “I don’t believe he’s a god. I think he was a smart dude and Buddhism, which I like but don’t subscribe to, gels with my feelings. I think Jesus was a cool dude.” I think Buddhism is incorrect but I’ll never shit on someone for being one because it’s overall got a good message.
When we talk about having kids, it’s come down to “I will take our kid to Sunday school as a kid because it is fun (in my experience - non-denominational so usually it’s a mix of veggie tales and a version of Luanne’s bible babies lol) I will welcome them to come with me, but I never want it to be an obligation. I want their dad’s ideas and mine to come aligned. I’m not threatened by his idea or his mine.
I Don’t want my kid to struggle with their religion because “I’ll go to hell if I don’t subscribe to it”. At the same time, that’s part of it, but I want them to WANT to be a Christian, not bullied like me.
Since my 20s I’ve seen many things that felt like a message from god that my fiancé would see differently and that’s fine. We both think the healthy thing is to let our kid
Correct on the first not on the second. Mom was a Catholic “Iowa Democrat”, as were my wife’s grandparents which harkens back to a time when farmers were all democrats.
Some folks either want to provide an explanation to the person they're walking away from, or to others in the surrounding friends group, or even just to themselves as a form of closure.
OP could also be trying to gather perspectives to consider. This may be one of the closest friendships they've thought about ending, or maybe even the first friendship where they've considered this.
Walking away with no justification works for some, but not all.
I really hate these selfish sentiments I see so much on Reddit.
Yes you can completely block someone out of nowhere if you want with them having 0 clue as to why, but doesn’t make you any less of an asshole.
It’s called common courtesy. Heck, you can be mature adults about it and agree to disagree.
Because you have at least a social obligation to the person you're walking away from to explain why you're doing that.
Believe me, I once had a friend group do that and it's a really painful feeling when the people you thought you had a connection to and cared about decide to just... leave out of the blue.
Because people are in relationships with people that they love and/or like.
When you love/like someone you tend to want to stick around.
In order to counteract that you need reasons to walk away. People also typically care for those they love/like and tend to want to be honest with them.
Yeah a lot of my friends in high school were more conservative than me but as long as they weren’t like “we should bring back slavery” or some insane shit like that It didn’t rlly bother me
I bet there's at least one who actually, literally wants to bring slavery back though. That's how bad things are on the right these days. It's easier to find someone with absolutely horrible, unacceptable political views, not just different ones.
Yeah can disagree with a partner on the majority of policy differences like healthcare and taxes but if you believe trans people shouldn't exist, or that poor people deserve to starve to death that's when I have a problem.
This. We can politely debate policy all day long and remain friends. But if your policy arguments advocate cruelty and/or bigotry, that’s where our relationship ends- not because of your politics, but because you’re an asshole.
You can end a relationship just because of not wanting to be in it anymore. You don't need a justification, you just need to communicate fairly with the person
Depends on the disagreement.
There are plenty of topics where reasonable people can disagree and still like each other. For example, if someone disagrees with me about the ideal marginal tax rate for households in the 60th percentile of income, I think we can get past that.
There are other topics where I would find disagreement more concerning. For example, if someone thinks that LGBT people should not be able to marry or have children, that says to me that their morals are fundamentally incompatible with mine.
Exactly this. I can disagree about some things politically, but I can and have cut people off for political opinions/actions that I find morally reprehensible.
This is it exactly. If we disagree on the intricacies and minutiae of specific political protocol, it's fine. If we disagree on core values and what are fundamental human rights and who should be afforded them, then we have a problem.
And my biggest issue is that a lot of people want to treat *all* political disagreements like they're the tiny details version. The, "Wow I can't believe you'd end the relationship over politics! 🙄" crowd wants to act like, "All I said was I think we should keep observing Daylight Savings Time!" is on the same level as, "All I said was I think we should segregate schools again!" And it's very not!
You can't divorce yourself from your views on how people should be treated. Politics that actually affect people's lives cannot be brushed aside. How you feel about those topics is genuinely how you think and what you believe. How can you expect that not to influence how I view you as a person?
Add to this that if you’re not sure, consider whether the differences could affect you personally in ways and situations where you don’t have room to compromise.
A partner who’s anti abortion could be all fun and games to you (somehow), but consider what happens when you ever get in a situation where you moght want or need one and he either doesn’t support you or worst case has already done his part in giving his party the power to suppress your right to access.
I'm also at the point where even if we agree that LGBT individuals should be able to get married, if someone's opinion on tax brackets means they vote for somebody who is trying to prevent LGBT marriages, that's also a deal breaker. I don't care what you claim your beliefs are, I'm judging you on the outcome of your actions. A "fiscal conservative" voting Republican in 2024 is indistinguishable from a MAGA trumper, and they're no friends of mine.
Having people with whom you can safely have a political, philosophical or moral dispute is extremely important. Safety is the critical threshold. There can be no safety in a dispute where one side maintains that the other should simply not exist.
For example, it is reasonable to argue with someone who thinks the gay club should turn down the music after 10pm and keep the advertisements outside PG-13. It is not reasonable to argue with someone who thinks that the people who go to the gay club ought to burn in hell.
Karl Popper called this the [Paradox of Tolerance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance) in his essay in [*The Open Society and its Enemies*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Open_Society_and_Its_Enemies), which should be required reading for everyone.
I would say yes of course you can end any relationship you want for any reason you want. I would go further than some and say you don't owe anyone an explanation. It's probably good manners to say why but if they won't listen or are in any way obnoxious about it, you don't owe them anything.
Yes, but it can be healthy to have friends with different political opinions. I have Republican friends, and it would be quite sad if I lost all those friends (some of them good friends) because I or them couldn’t handle having different points of view on politics.
For reference, my dad is Republican and my mom is Democratic. It’s very sad to imagine a world where I couldn’t be close to either of them because of political differences.
I have a friend who is starting to pick on me about “my friend Biden” - she and her husband are staunch Trump supporters. She can’t wait for Biden to forgive her student loans but refuses to acknowledge any wrong doing by Trump. It’s at the point where I am backing off. I keep my mouth shut but the digs and snide comments have become too much.
With few exceptions, my family are staunch trump supporters. We decided back in 2016 to NOT discuss trump. So far, we have maintained this awkward silence when it comes to politics. I really have to keep a lid on it cause sometimes I want to scream.
At a certain point it becomes less about political differences and more about respect. Making snide comments and insulting you is disrespectful and I wouldn't tolerate it at all.
It should be possible for them to support someone other than Biden (I can understand people who vote for or against a party, I can’t understand people who actually *like* trump) without making jabs and snide comments.
I’d say that’s backing off cuz they are bad friends and shorty people and not just because of their political opinion
Odds are you know a lot of republicans or right leaning independents whom you don’t know the political opinions of because they simply aren’t asshats about it.
My sister is a religious conservative in Los angeles and her acquaintances have no idea because she doesn’t tell anyone how to think.
The problem is, that one person's major ethical dilemma could be another's "just politics". I've never had a heated debated over mundane policies to fix a problem, however, in the U.S., racism, sexism, hatred, and other major ethical issues often get conflated with politics.
I don’t think that’s really true. Like I knew a Black couple who broke up partly due to different views about the roles race and racism played in their lives. Neither of them is racist but they had different philosophies about it.
Everything to do with how we live together in a society is political. It is impossible to live a life free of politics and anyone who thinks they can is blissfully unaware of their own privilege.
Repeat after me.
Political opinions are formed from personal morals and opinions.
Peoples political opinions are a result of their personal morals so yes, it’s okay to end relationships over that. For example, I’m gay. Some people try to tell me it’s just their political belief that I shouldn’t have the same right to marry and should have limited benefits. I don’t want to be friends with someone like that because that opinion is surely coming from a personal opinion.
The problem is people think everything can be separated and political opinions are just that. Not anymore. Culture and morals are so engrained with current politics that they are almost always inseparable.
So discern the issue at hand and determine if it’s indicative of shitty morals. If it is, screw them
It has never been possible to sever the political from the personal. But for those whom the status quo is comfortable, it can easily feel like politics is just a separate part of life that one can choose whether or when to become involved.
Its justifiable to end a relationship because of any reason.
It doesnt matter if they are wrong, or you are wrong, if you cant find common ground, then the relationship is already over. You either find compromise, or you dont. Whether its political or any other reason is irrelevant - if its not something that can be simply ignored, and if you are not enjoying someone's company for some reason, then thats it.
Agreed. I could personally not be in a relationship with someone who is a Trump supporter. Everything he says and does goes against all of my morals and values. As a woman with a daughter, no way would I date someone who thinks Trump is a decent man or leader.
It's a shame if that happens but sometimes it feels like you're betraying yourself by continuing to have a friendly relationship with somebody who's opinions and beliefs really offend you. I guess it would depend on what sort of political differences you are talking about. Like let's just say you are pro-choice but your friend is pro-life. I see no reason why you can't maintain a friendship as long as you try and avoid this issue. But let's say your friend believes that women who try and have an abortion should get the death penalty. Well that is a belief so extreme and disturbing it's understandable why you would feel uncomfortable around somebody like that. I think we need to try and get along with people who have different opinions than we do. But it's also important to draw the line and that some opinions are seriously disturbing and hateful and that it feels uncomfortable and maybe unethical to have a friendship with somebody who's beliefs are that disturbing. Obviously all of this is pretty subjective as to what constitutes disturbing or not.
I'm pretty far left. I have had to basically cut people out of my life (family members and friends) who went Fox-news rabbit hole. It was more than just a disagreement, it was a distortion of reality. They became willfully ignorant, paranoid, suspicious, and cruel. Maybe 50 years ago you could be friends with someone who thought the tax rate should be slightly different, but everything is just so damn extreme now.
Yeah like I detest Trump but I gave him props when he passed the animal cruelty law. But yeah I’m not going to sit there and cheer for any politician lol
The idea that supporting a politician is all or none is such a bad concept. I don’t know why we have this mindset here.
I vote split party and can’t say there’s anyone I’ve ever voted for in either party whom I agreed with on everything. And it’s ok to say “I voted for this person because I like A, B, and C, even though I don’t agree with D, and E.” People get mad that you don’t also support D and E
You bring up a good point that I think a lot of people forget. They’res still a healthy percentage of the population who are one issue voters. Assuming that everyone is voting for everything a politician talks about is asinine.
It ultimately comes down to the kind of disagreement and how deeply it affects you. Some differences in political opinion might stem from various life experiences and perspectives and can be a source of constructive dialogue. But when those differences cross into the realm of denying someone's identity, rights, or worth, it's not just a political disagreement anymore—it's a reflection of values.
If your gut is telling you that the underlying beliefs someone holds are creating a moral or ethical conflict that you can't overlook, it's time to trust that instinct. Relationships shouldn't have to come with the cost of your principles or peace of mind. So yes, it's justifiable. After all, the company you keep is a reflection of your own values, and it's important to surround yourself with people who uplift rather than undermine the things you stand for.
Absolutely. Political differences exist because different *worldviews* exist. If your worldview and that of a friend or SO are diametrically opposed, at best you are going to spend a lot of time explaining yourself, and at worst you're going to either be arguing all the time or talkign about nothing more controversial than the weather.
Personally, I don't end friendships over political differences. I have friends that are far right and friend that are far left and I find it interesting to have discussions with them and learn about their perspectives on topics. Even when I don't agree with them, it's nice to get a better understanding of their thought process. Also think it's good to not create too much of a bubble of only like minded people around you.
Of course it is. If someone supported a political party that was against me being able to live my life with the same rights as anyone else, I'm well out of there. For example.
Also, you can end a relationship for any reason. "I don't want to be with you anymore" is a perfectly valid reason to end a relationship.
If you are asking the question I bet there is more to the story than just politics.
But since you asked, my answer is yes you should end the relationship.
An Uber liberal would quickly get tired of me. And a far right conservative would be very agitated.
Guns, abortion and community standards are all very hot topics with the left and right. How far can you go in a relationship and not have these issues bother you? Are their families also the same as them? I know from experience that holidays will be rough as you hold your tongue.
Yes. Can’t date someone who doesn’t share my values. I have issues just talking to someone who don’t share my values, I get tired explaining basic human rights, I’m not interested in doing that with a partner.
Yes.
You don't wanna date/be friends with someone that aligns to the other extreme of what you think, more so if they do it with a smile in their faces.
It's not like you cannot be friends/partner with someone that doesn't think like you but it's like me dating a homophobe, or being friends with one. Why waste my time/energy into someone that will hate me no matter what?
Absolutely? It's justifiable to end any relationship for any reason provided that you do not have any legal relationship and you have no shared legal responsibilities. If you do, the bar is higher.
I wouldn't end a friendship over the desire for everyone to have free healthcare, but I would end a friendship over the desire to permanently end democracy and install a christo-fascist regime.
It depends in the specifics. Will I end a friendship because a person thinks that all highways should be toll roads? No
But if they think that conversion therapy is cool then they are not welcome in my life
It all depends. If one party is incredibly extremist to the point where it is impeding on regular conversations and existence than yes. Otherwise you can usually settle things.
It’s okay to end a relationship at anytime for any reason honestly. Feelings don’t always make sense. If you don’t a relationship with someone for whatever reason at all then you shouldn’t.
Absolutely. Political differences are just moral or ideological differences when you boil them down. If you learn that you disagree with someone in fundamentals issues, then most people would remove themselves from the friendship whether or not politics had anything to do with it anyways.
Absolutely yes; it says a lot about a person. Some people are a bit shocked how not right wing I am. I would drop a person in a heartbeat if they worshipped money more than peoples basic human needs.
To certain types of people it is, to me personally, I think it's genuinely hilarious that there are real, living, breathing people out there that give a fuck about the political views of their friend
This might be unpopular but I think it's in incredibly poor taste to end a friendship/relationship over politics.
There is so much propoganda bullshit on both sides that sounds convincing that anyone that is big headed enough to think they couldnt possibly be wrong about their beliefs I think is being close minded.
It's all about mutual respect.
If you have profound differences in your values that make you question the character of the person, yes. If they are differences that don’t harm your view of the person’s integrity, try to stick it out for the sake of open-mindedness. We’re not all right about everything all the time, whatever we may believe.
It sucks to do so but yes, within reason.
If someone thinks trickle-down economics works then we have a disagreement. They are wrong but aren’t necessarily assholes because of it. Agree to disagree.
My kid is trans and if someone thinks they should be “lined up and shot” as actual people have said out loud, even politicians like Robert Foster, then no—we have different values and cannot be friends.
I’m not a single-issue voter but there are a handful of issues I’m not willing to compromise on and that includes the people I choose to surround myself with.
I’m no Biden fan but I think he is just ok… however I couldn’t be friends or have a partner that is a trump fan. It would want to make me scream on a daily basis.
Yes. My rights are not something to just have a “disagreement” about.
Anyone who says otherwise is in a position of power and doesn’t understand oppression.
Definitely. I could never be friends and certainly not lovers with a trumpster. It’s way past the “you have to respect their opinion “ stage. He’s a hateful bigot and I have no respect for anyone who supports him and his racist and misogynistic ignorance.
Political differences. Nah. My fiance and I are getting married soon, and we're on the opposite sides when it comes to politics. We both respect the other person's choice, and we don't force each other to think differently.
It's okay if we have different opinions. We can still be friends. :)
Yes, absolutely.
There are circumstances in which political differences are mere differences of opinion. Should the drinking age be 21 or 18. Should the speed limit be 55 or 85. Should the top marginal tax rate be 35% or 60%.
Even bigger differences can be dealt with, should the military budget shrink or grow. Should America adopt universal single payer.
Then there are things which are not compatible. Should America enact racial segregation or not. Should women have the right to an abortion or not. Should America support an imperial hegemony or not. Should an elderly senile wannabe Fascist like Trump be President or not. Do immigrants poison the blood of America or not. Are immigrants animals or not.
Those things are not mere differences of opinion which can be bridged or on which you can agree to disagree, those are fundamental differences in values. And that's not likely to work in a relationship.
Or... It's not likely to work from the standpoint of the more liberal leaning person. A more right leaning person is a lot more willing to be around someone of the opposite views because, and this is important, liberal leaning views on important matters don't center on dehumanizing people, taking away rights, and sometimes just plain killing people. A person on the left is going to have a deeper emotional involvement when it comes to right wing positions.
This is similar to how a person who thinks monogamy is important vs a person who doesn't in a relationship. The person who thinks monogamy is important is going to see their view as being more emotionally involving than the person who sees monogamy as not important sees their view. And we'd say that such people probably shouldn't be in a relationship.
Absolutely, ending a relationship over political differences is within reason, especially if those politics are reflective of deep-seated values that affect everyday life and human rights. Politics are no longer just about fiscal policies or infrastructure—they're often a reflection of one's stance on social issues, equality, and human dignity. If someone holds a political view that dehumanizes another group of people, that's not a mere 'difference of opinion.' It's a fundamentally different worldview that affects the perceived humanity of others. We build relationships on mutual respect and understanding, and if that foundation is shaken by a person's political advocacy for policies that strip rights from others, it's more than acceptable to reevaluate that relationship. It's indicative of a rift in core values, and for many, that's not something that can be overlooked for the sake of harmony.
Depends on what you consider "political". The term generally means anything that is being discussed by politicians and lawmakers. Tax rates, some law stuff, whatever, is historically politics. However now because representatives are publicly spouting conspiracy theories, nazi support, bigotry in general, and things like that, it's been considered "political" as well. The latter examples are NOT acceptable. We had the idea that politics shouldn't divide people, but that was when politics was low stakes.
When your younger I feel like it’s a major issue especially if your in college as everyone seems to talk more about politics. When your older imo it doesn’t matter. I’m a social conservative and very liberal fiscally so really I have no one I like every election. My wife is more liberal socially and conservative fiscally and we made it work.
Your political views literally describe the core values you hold as a person. It’s your expression on how you want yourself and others to be treated.
Which is why normal people hate Nazis.
Casual acceptance or association Nazis would be enabling their ideals and values.
Sometimes political differences can be cause for breaking off a relationship.
Depends. If the political difference is over something like Gaza, which has zero effect on my life, then I can't see cutting anyone off. But if they're anti-gay and don't believe I should have equality, then they can stay the fuck out of my life.
If someone was a staunch Maga supporter there is no way I would stay with them. We would have nothing in common and it would be pointless to pursue the relationship further.
Yes, if there is a huge gap in morals and values. Especially with romantic relationships as they can produce kids and raising them with very far apart ideals can produce a lot of bad feelings, arguments, and cause break ups. With friendships, if it doesn’t come up then it can be okay. If one person keeps bringing it up, and then doesn’t want to talk it out after making the opinion known, then I would let them go. Lifelong friends are less easy to let to of, and sometimes you may choose to accept their POV and just agree to disagree and not discuss. It becomes a superficial relationship, but nice to maintain because you care for them, you just never see them thru the same lens again
It’s justifiable to end a relationship or friendship over anything that you don’t like / makes you feel weird. Life is too short. If you’re asking this it means you have your compassion / comprise portion of yourself down. Now add some radical respect for yourself and if u don’t like someone else’s ideas or vibe or whatever there really isn’t a reason for u to stay around it :) be free
Of course, but I feel like the real personality flaw these days isn’t which political affiliation someone has but how much political hysteria someone has.
This would absolutely not apply to somebody who was “really into politics” and therefore, went to lots of city council meetings, sent lots of letters and emails to their representatives, watched lots of C-Span and demonstrated a sports-like obsession with the workings of all things government. I’ve never met that person.
“Really into politics”, these days, typically means someone who spends a lot of time hate-scrolling and watching TV news.
It’s pretty hard to spend time with someone who’s venting hate all the time, regardless of whether you approve or disapprove of the hate.
Yes. Your politics, if you believe in them strongly, are a reflection of your morals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with ending a relationship over an irreconcilable difference in personal morals.
Depends on the type of disagreement and the way they’re arguing. Let’s say my mate brings up the topic of Palestine saying that it’s not genocide. I mean we can disagree on the topic of pizza toppings but not this honey. I’d an instant turn off from a brainwashed foolish thinking and mentality.
Absolutely. Belief systems are very important. People sometimes snicker at the past where people were literally killed for being a different religion or tribe. Yet, people are not 'more enlightened' today. At best, we just don't kill each other. We still \*hate\* or \*dislike\* or \*keep distance\* or view them as the \*enemy vying for power\*.
It's simply very hard to be close to someone with vastly different views. It doesn't mean you can't. It just means for the vast majority of people, it's simply a natural part of human behavior to want those close to you to 'be on the same team'
What the team is is going to change and what the range of tolerances are is going to change.
You probably can't find someone to perfectly believe everything you do or you'll be alone or in a very small cult.
On the other-hand, you can't be close to someone with completely opposite views on everything.
If the differences are far enough apart, they felt stronglya bout, absolutely. It will always be a point of contention and may lead to serious bad blood
I wouldn’t end friendship about a difference in political beliefs. I would end it if they were angry and disrespectful towards me about my beliefs though. I have had it go both ways. One of my best friends I truely love spending time with couldn’t be further opposite from me politically speaking. We can even discuss politics without anyone getting mad because we are both respectful of the other’s opinions.
Depends on your definition of "political". Somehow racism, homophobia, transphobia etc have all become "political" stances which is a flaming crock of shit. So if these are the differences you're referring to than hell yeah it's justifiable.
I mean it depends. Is this person a flat earther? I just can't be around someone that stupid. Do they think gay and black people don't deserve rights? Yea, also gonna be a dealbreaker.
If I were a woman and I learned my husband/boyfriend is one of those that want to end abortion, birth control, and in general support godawful politics that actively screw over women's right....yeah. I'll want a divorce. Specially if it's impossible to make them understand how godawful the shit they're voting for is.
It depends on the difference.
You think the USA should have a health care system like Germany, they think we should have a health care system like England, I don't see much point fussing about that. You're both on the side of people getting health care. That's not a difference in *result*, it's a difference in *how to get there*. That's politics in the sense of "what policies will best serve all the people?", and opinions differ.
Some differences I would absolutely break up over. You think *Lawrence v. Texas* should be overturned, that's not really politics anymore, about how to serve everybody, that's "you hate gay people and think they aren't people and who cares what policies serve their needs." I couldn't be friends with someone who hated gay people, or Muslims, or anyone else. If you hate people, sooner or later you're going to get around to hating me too, because I'm a person.
Another politics-adjacent reason I would break up with someone is lunatic conspiracy thinking, like the covid vaccines have 5G networking nanobots, or Trump really won in 2020, or other deranged idiocies. The problem with that is that even if the lunacy they follow now seems pretty harmless, you never know when you're going to come home and find out that they've thrown away all the packaged food because the UPC code has "666" embedded in it, or they threw out your toothpaste because they saw a post on Facebook saying that the company gives its profits to the church of Satan.
Politics is not an arbitrary “team” like which sports team you root for. It’s your fundamental values put into practice. I can’t be friends with someone who thinks that queer people don’t deserve rights, or that overthrowing the government is an acceptable response to losing an election.
I had some wonderful friends that have gone off the deep end in both politics and religion. I haven't cut them off but I just don't go out of my way to see them anymore.
HELL yes! I think political party is WAY more important than religious beliefs!!! I was 8 years long distance with this woman whom was my bestfriend and whom we both had feelings for but remained best friends but never made it a “thing” since she was in Germany and I was in the U.S. once we were separated in Highschool and I tell you what, we’d generally steer away from political conversations but with good ol Biden and Trump it was hard not to. I was always civil with her about her political beliefs because realistically the life in Europe is quite different from the U.S. and everyone deserves to have an opinion, it does not affect my life. but whenever she asked why I preferred Trump she would EXPLODE! I gave her legitimate reasonings backed up with articles, my beliefs, how I view things you name it. When id question why she preferred Biden she would just say how Trump sucks! He’s the worst! But she was just belittling and an awful human being filled with hate at this point. Long story short, we cut communication. Im happily married to my beautiful Republican Latina bestfriend meanwhile she tried reaching out to me and apologizing for how she acted 👍
Only if they make it make it part of their personality/every day interactions. I only mention politics when we are specifically talking politics, otherwise I say no
My relationship and love for my friends and family is lot bigger than my love for political values and crappola! People, their opinions and values "can" change with time. Let people be themselves, they have their own reasons to like their political views. I can respectively disagree and cherish their company. HOWEVER, I'll consider that if they actively do things to harm me because of their political ideologies.
Calling it just "political differences" can be oversimplification from someone who thinks those shouldn't matter. If someone I know started claiming the far-right party in my country was the only way to salvage this country, I'd absolutely distance myself from them. And that party isn't crazier than US republican party is.
It's never just one thing. They might say, it's mostly about fighting illegal migration. But then they also have absolutely no objection to said party voting 100% against gay marriage few years ago, call climate change hoax, don't mind their representatives have Nazi friends. That's a lot of reasons to not like someone, not just "political differences".
In our 20+ year college friend circle, we had a person who found religion, then started espousing the virtues of a certain politician. One whose followers believed in the curtailment of rights for many of the types of people IN said circle.
She would drop into discussions on our pages and preach, and one by one, we all dropped her.
Nothing obligates you to spend time and energy associating with people who actively hate your way of life or that of your friends.
The past is not a collar. If it no longer fits, let it go.
It depends
Simple differences? Nah. Being around people who think differently is good. Challenging what you believe and why you believe it can be a good thing.
Fundamental moral differences? Maybe not the best thing between partners or close friends.
I am perfectly fine having friends I don’t agree with politically. I can respect that people have different opinions than I do without resorting to name calling or thinking they are bad people. I can also have my own opinion without telling them that they are wrong for having theirs.
I think it depends on how polarizing the differences in opinions are and if they affect your relationship. To me it’s okay to have your own opinions on things, and be able to act like adults about those differences. If the political views were harmful then I wouldn’t stay with them. Same thing goes for friendships
Maybe if you are a hardcore right or left sided mindless moron who buys into media bullshit. Nobody likes politically passionate people or wants them at a social
Gathering
It depends. We are living in unusual times. I still have friends who are on the the opposite political party , but we avoid discussing politics and I respect them. In today’s climate political differences may also reflect different values.
I have a former friend who I discovered was a Qanon type far right conspiracy theorist, I’m polite and respectful to this acquaintance, but our friendship ended when he called me a Nazi for supporting mask mandates, he screamed this at me when I tried explaining the science he didn’t understand or want to understand.
My wife and I disagree about many things, but generally agree on important things. So I wouldn’t leave someone because they disagreed about tax policy or agricultural subsidies but wouldn’t be with someone who wants gay kids electrocuted or migrants thrown in camps
It might be awkward to keep the friendship or romance going. Too awkward. I don't believe in vegans. I think humans have been consuming eggs, milk, and meat for so long it is required to function. If my best friend said that he dislikes me because of my beliefs I would feel weird. More than an anyhing I hate bears. We have 25,000 of them in Wisconsin. Every time an old lady sees one walk by her mobile home she gets nervous. I think we should cull every last bear. All it takes is an old, senile, and vicious bear to show up and it might rip off someone's face. In Illinois they cull their bears and so does Iowa. The show Grizzly Adams embedded in America's belief system that a young bear is no different than a large dog. Not true !
Then one day I was making my arguments on Reddit that are anti-bear. A clown speaks up and says, "Buddy, the bears were in Wisconsin before people were." That made me cry like a faucet.
Bears get hungry and they might chew on something inedible like a pinecone. Then their teeth are cracked and broken. Meanwhile there is no such thing as a dentist for bears. They desperately need one because they are in pain. That's why they kill. \~Mortimer Reed
Opposing political ideas should be discussed, however, when we discuss these ideas, we are not meant to use these ideas to exclude others or to deny the legitimacy of opposing ideas. The goal of political discussion is for understanding. It is to say; "this is how we see things, this is what we think we need as people". So when people in this comment section say you should remove yourself from someone's company, simply because one or both of you couldn't handle that discussion, then that's on you. When someone instead uses their political leaning to give the sentiment; "The other party is wrong, they should not be listened to." that's a different thing. That is not strictly political discussion, it does not lead to understanding, and it does not lead to solidarity. That is a situation you may want to consider that the discussion is not being used appropriately, and if either party cant be an adult about it and understand not everyone needs to think the same thoughts, then yeah, you should consider talking about it with them.
I’ve had to do it since Trump and the pandemic. Some folks turned vile I used to know for years. It’s like something broke in their brain. I don’t have time for toxic and racist in my life.
I was raised in a country with 4 political parties. The rule was that the dad would belong to the establishment party, mom to its immediate rival, and the kids would be split among 'greens' and outright Marxists. No blood was ever spilled, not even on election day.
Depends on the differences. If you differ on the precise level of taxation, then why squabble over a few dollars?
On the other hand, if you differ on democracy vs fascism, hate vs acceptance, controlling people vs freedom of choice, then that's serious.
Those are existential questions. I would not waste my time with someone who feels that my women friends can't control their bodies or that my gay friends should be in prison, just for example.
These are irreconcilable differences in worldview.
I wouldn't. I've maintained friendships with people of different religions and politics and even a very healthy romantic relationship.
Look I'm a Sunni Muslim who has very real friendships with people quite different. I have friends who are wiccans, fundamentalist Christians, Crowleyite Thelemites, Jews, one Hindu, and a number of atheists. And as a Sunni Muslim I also have Shia friends.i have anarchist friends, two Communist friends, a couple of far right neo-reactionary types, one outright fascist. When I was younger I learned that friendship was friendship. And even though people might have awful views I don't accept (awful of course being my subjective judging) that doesn't make them awful people. I also learned at high school lunch tables that you can argue with people about issues and ideas and still be friends at the end of the day.
I ended some friendships with a few people after Barack Obama was first elected president. I thought these people were reasonable, fair-minded folks but the 2008 election brought out a level of unmitigated anger and racism that I just couldn't let slide. I miss those people on occasion but I still think that I made the right choice.
As far as Trump goes, I will not be in a relationship or friendship with anyone who has supported him. Period. I have a few Trump supporting family members and I avoid them any time I can. His election and presidency will leave a deep stain on this country that, in a best case scenario, will take decades to heal.
My husband is a registered Democrat and I am a Republican. We’ve been married for 46 years. I can’t imagine letting our political opinions get between us in the marriage bed.
It would seem to me that if you are ready to end things, then there’s more than just political differences at play.
It is justifiable to end one over a difference in values that is incompatible. That can express itself as political differences.
This is exactly right. My partner and I are on somewhat different sides of the political spectrum yet we’ve been married 23 years and going strong. My parents were also on different sides and they were married for 60+ years before they passed. My in-laws are politically 100% aligned and yet I’ve never known a couple to fight the way they do. Treating eachother with total disrespect, name calling etc. It comes down to mutual respect for each others opinions and aligned values.
When it comes to living with differences, I've come to simplify it down to living in the same reality. If you don't live in the same reality, relationships are hard. But, to your point, living in the same reality does not guarentee compatiblity. I don't think my inlaws, who are 100% politically aligned, even like each other. What keeps them going is they hate the same people.
Political reality is different than personal reality though. Personal reality is how you perceive and treat people you interact with, political reality is how laws/institutions should treat people.
Unfortunately with my inlaws, their political reality is so far reaching that there are few places it doesn't touch, and their political views and affiliation very much informs their views on how they treat others. I don't think they are rare.
Your last line made me laugh out loud. Too funny. 😀
It depends on what the differences are. Is it a “it’s perfectly acceptable to dismantle other people’s rights” difference or is it taxes and guns? There’s a rate of diminishing returns depending on how radical they are and how much you care about others being victimized. All of the happy couples I know who are not aligned politically ARE aligned on how willing they are to sacrifice the needs of others for their own comfort.
I can understand getting along when you disagree on economics. It'd be weird to me if couple claims they are in happy marriage, but disagree on basic human equalities. Like one is liberal, other says abortion is murder, gay "lifestyle" is a sin, vaccines are hoax. I don't see how that could ever work.
How do you respect someone who believes that certain groups of people don’t deserve basic human dignity, human rights, existence, and healthcare?
You don't
Wife and I. 14 years, same boat.
I’m Christian my partner is an atheist that pulls Bushism beliefs which I think is in line with a lot of Christian values (at least what matters to me). I guess what made it works for us is that he told me “I don’t believe he’s a god. I think he was a smart dude and Buddhism, which I like but don’t subscribe to, gels with my feelings. I think Jesus was a cool dude.” I think Buddhism is incorrect but I’ll never shit on someone for being one because it’s overall got a good message. When we talk about having kids, it’s come down to “I will take our kid to Sunday school as a kid because it is fun (in my experience - non-denominational so usually it’s a mix of veggie tales and a version of Luanne’s bible babies lol) I will welcome them to come with me, but I never want it to be an obligation. I want their dad’s ideas and mine to come aligned. I’m not threatened by his idea or his mine. I Don’t want my kid to struggle with their religion because “I’ll go to hell if I don’t subscribe to it”. At the same time, that’s part of it, but I want them to WANT to be a Christian, not bullied like me. Since my 20s I’ve seen many things that felt like a message from god that my fiancé would see differently and that’s fine. We both think the healthy thing is to let our kid
Gonna take a guess that mom was on the left and dad on the right and similar with you and your partner?
Correct on the first not on the second. Mom was a Catholic “Iowa Democrat”, as were my wife’s grandparents which harkens back to a time when farmers were all democrats.
Why do you have to justify ending a relationship? If you are uncomfortable with having someone in your life, for whatever reason, then walk away.
Some folks either want to provide an explanation to the person they're walking away from, or to others in the surrounding friends group, or even just to themselves as a form of closure. OP could also be trying to gather perspectives to consider. This may be one of the closest friendships they've thought about ending, or maybe even the first friendship where they've considered this. Walking away with no justification works for some, but not all.
I really hate these selfish sentiments I see so much on Reddit. Yes you can completely block someone out of nowhere if you want with them having 0 clue as to why, but doesn’t make you any less of an asshole. It’s called common courtesy. Heck, you can be mature adults about it and agree to disagree.
"agree to disagree" works for debates on the nba goat, not for which groups of people deserve basic human rights
"Walk away" does not mean you give no explanation or closure - it simply means you are moving on. Cool
Because you have at least a social obligation to the person you're walking away from to explain why you're doing that. Believe me, I once had a friend group do that and it's a really painful feeling when the people you thought you had a connection to and cared about decide to just... leave out of the blue.
Because people are in relationships with people that they love and/or like. When you love/like someone you tend to want to stick around. In order to counteract that you need reasons to walk away. People also typically care for those they love/like and tend to want to be honest with them.
Yeah a lot of my friends in high school were more conservative than me but as long as they weren’t like “we should bring back slavery” or some insane shit like that It didn’t rlly bother me
I bet there's at least one who actually, literally wants to bring slavery back though. That's how bad things are on the right these days. It's easier to find someone with absolutely horrible, unacceptable political views, not just different ones.
Yeah can disagree with a partner on the majority of policy differences like healthcare and taxes but if you believe trans people shouldn't exist, or that poor people deserve to starve to death that's when I have a problem.
This. We can politely debate policy all day long and remain friends. But if your policy arguments advocate cruelty and/or bigotry, that’s where our relationship ends- not because of your politics, but because you’re an asshole.
Eloquently put. 👏
You can end a relationship just because of not wanting to be in it anymore. You don't need a justification, you just need to communicate fairly with the person
I came to say this. You don’t need a justification. But like they said, do your best to communicate it fairly.
I want to post this comment on like 70% of posts. If you don’t have kids or you’re not married… if it doesn’t work for you - leave
Sometimes, it's better for the kids to leave, too
Depends on the disagreement. There are plenty of topics where reasonable people can disagree and still like each other. For example, if someone disagrees with me about the ideal marginal tax rate for households in the 60th percentile of income, I think we can get past that. There are other topics where I would find disagreement more concerning. For example, if someone thinks that LGBT people should not be able to marry or have children, that says to me that their morals are fundamentally incompatible with mine.
Exactly this. I can disagree about some things politically, but I can and have cut people off for political opinions/actions that I find morally reprehensible.
This is it exactly. If we disagree on the intricacies and minutiae of specific political protocol, it's fine. If we disagree on core values and what are fundamental human rights and who should be afforded them, then we have a problem. And my biggest issue is that a lot of people want to treat *all* political disagreements like they're the tiny details version. The, "Wow I can't believe you'd end the relationship over politics! 🙄" crowd wants to act like, "All I said was I think we should keep observing Daylight Savings Time!" is on the same level as, "All I said was I think we should segregate schools again!" And it's very not! You can't divorce yourself from your views on how people should be treated. Politics that actually affect people's lives cannot be brushed aside. How you feel about those topics is genuinely how you think and what you believe. How can you expect that not to influence how I view you as a person?
Add to this that if you’re not sure, consider whether the differences could affect you personally in ways and situations where you don’t have room to compromise. A partner who’s anti abortion could be all fun and games to you (somehow), but consider what happens when you ever get in a situation where you moght want or need one and he either doesn’t support you or worst case has already done his part in giving his party the power to suppress your right to access.
I'm also at the point where even if we agree that LGBT individuals should be able to get married, if someone's opinion on tax brackets means they vote for somebody who is trying to prevent LGBT marriages, that's also a deal breaker. I don't care what you claim your beliefs are, I'm judging you on the outcome of your actions. A "fiscal conservative" voting Republican in 2024 is indistinguishable from a MAGA trumper, and they're no friends of mine.
Having people with whom you can safely have a political, philosophical or moral dispute is extremely important. Safety is the critical threshold. There can be no safety in a dispute where one side maintains that the other should simply not exist. For example, it is reasonable to argue with someone who thinks the gay club should turn down the music after 10pm and keep the advertisements outside PG-13. It is not reasonable to argue with someone who thinks that the people who go to the gay club ought to burn in hell. Karl Popper called this the [Paradox of Tolerance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance) in his essay in [*The Open Society and its Enemies*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Open_Society_and_Its_Enemies), which should be required reading for everyone.
I would say yes of course you can end any relationship you want for any reason you want. I would go further than some and say you don't owe anyone an explanation. It's probably good manners to say why but if they won't listen or are in any way obnoxious about it, you don't owe them anything.
Yes!! Toxic people are not owed explanation!
Yes, but it can be healthy to have friends with different political opinions. I have Republican friends, and it would be quite sad if I lost all those friends (some of them good friends) because I or them couldn’t handle having different points of view on politics. For reference, my dad is Republican and my mom is Democratic. It’s very sad to imagine a world where I couldn’t be close to either of them because of political differences.
I have a friend who is starting to pick on me about “my friend Biden” - she and her husband are staunch Trump supporters. She can’t wait for Biden to forgive her student loans but refuses to acknowledge any wrong doing by Trump. It’s at the point where I am backing off. I keep my mouth shut but the digs and snide comments have become too much.
With few exceptions, my family are staunch trump supporters. We decided back in 2016 to NOT discuss trump. So far, we have maintained this awkward silence when it comes to politics. I really have to keep a lid on it cause sometimes I want to scream.
At a certain point it becomes less about political differences and more about respect. Making snide comments and insulting you is disrespectful and I wouldn't tolerate it at all.
Why don't you tell them to shut the fuck up
Trump supporters are inherently terrible people, you should end contact with them.
Well her husband also tried to get in my pants recently, so there’s that too.
That's a deal breaker - no justification needed!
That is the justification
Um why are these people still in your life lol
It’s been a fading friendship and I’m trying to bow out now that I know her husband is a cheating SOB.
It should be possible for them to support someone other than Biden (I can understand people who vote for or against a party, I can’t understand people who actually *like* trump) without making jabs and snide comments. I’d say that’s backing off cuz they are bad friends and shorty people and not just because of their political opinion Odds are you know a lot of republicans or right leaning independents whom you don’t know the political opinions of because they simply aren’t asshats about it. My sister is a religious conservative in Los angeles and her acquaintances have no idea because she doesn’t tell anyone how to think.
The problem is, that one person's major ethical dilemma could be another's "just politics". I've never had a heated debated over mundane policies to fix a problem, however, in the U.S., racism, sexism, hatred, and other major ethical issues often get conflated with politics.
Everything you listed is inherently political...
Discussing race is political. Being racist is not politics.
If two people have opposite opinions about racism, one of them is a racist.
I agree. Not sure your point tho
I don’t think that’s really true. Like I knew a Black couple who broke up partly due to different views about the roles race and racism played in their lives. Neither of them is racist but they had different philosophies about it.
Everything to do with how we live together in a society is political. It is impossible to live a life free of politics and anyone who thinks they can is blissfully unaware of their own privilege.
No. People *inherently make* them political, but they are *not inherently* political on their own.
Repeat after me. Political opinions are formed from personal morals and opinions. Peoples political opinions are a result of their personal morals so yes, it’s okay to end relationships over that. For example, I’m gay. Some people try to tell me it’s just their political belief that I shouldn’t have the same right to marry and should have limited benefits. I don’t want to be friends with someone like that because that opinion is surely coming from a personal opinion. The problem is people think everything can be separated and political opinions are just that. Not anymore. Culture and morals are so engrained with current politics that they are almost always inseparable. So discern the issue at hand and determine if it’s indicative of shitty morals. If it is, screw them
It has never been possible to sever the political from the personal. But for those whom the status quo is comfortable, it can easily feel like politics is just a separate part of life that one can choose whether or when to become involved.
This!!
I don't understand how so many people don't understand this
Its justifiable to end a relationship because of any reason. It doesnt matter if they are wrong, or you are wrong, if you cant find common ground, then the relationship is already over. You either find compromise, or you dont. Whether its political or any other reason is irrelevant - if its not something that can be simply ignored, and if you are not enjoying someone's company for some reason, then thats it.
Yes. If you don't respect someone's beliefs how can you respect them?
It would be torture to be in a relationship with a MAGA. Their only belief is worshiping Trump.
Agreed. I could personally not be in a relationship with someone who is a Trump supporter. Everything he says and does goes against all of my morals and values. As a woman with a daughter, no way would I date someone who thinks Trump is a decent man or leader.
It's a shame if that happens but sometimes it feels like you're betraying yourself by continuing to have a friendly relationship with somebody who's opinions and beliefs really offend you. I guess it would depend on what sort of political differences you are talking about. Like let's just say you are pro-choice but your friend is pro-life. I see no reason why you can't maintain a friendship as long as you try and avoid this issue. But let's say your friend believes that women who try and have an abortion should get the death penalty. Well that is a belief so extreme and disturbing it's understandable why you would feel uncomfortable around somebody like that. I think we need to try and get along with people who have different opinions than we do. But it's also important to draw the line and that some opinions are seriously disturbing and hateful and that it feels uncomfortable and maybe unethical to have a friendship with somebody who's beliefs are that disturbing. Obviously all of this is pretty subjective as to what constitutes disturbing or not.
I'm pretty far left. I have had to basically cut people out of my life (family members and friends) who went Fox-news rabbit hole. It was more than just a disagreement, it was a distortion of reality. They became willfully ignorant, paranoid, suspicious, and cruel. Maybe 50 years ago you could be friends with someone who thought the tax rate should be slightly different, but everything is just so damn extreme now.
I couldn't listen to a guy praise Trump.
i can’t listen to anyone praise ANY politician 😭😭
I can occasionally praise a politician for a specific action, but otherwise agree with the sentiment.
Yeah like I detest Trump but I gave him props when he passed the animal cruelty law. But yeah I’m not going to sit there and cheer for any politician lol
The idea that supporting a politician is all or none is such a bad concept. I don’t know why we have this mindset here. I vote split party and can’t say there’s anyone I’ve ever voted for in either party whom I agreed with on everything. And it’s ok to say “I voted for this person because I like A, B, and C, even though I don’t agree with D, and E.” People get mad that you don’t also support D and E
You bring up a good point that I think a lot of people forget. They’res still a healthy percentage of the population who are one issue voters. Assuming that everyone is voting for everything a politician talks about is asinine.
valid 💯
It ultimately comes down to the kind of disagreement and how deeply it affects you. Some differences in political opinion might stem from various life experiences and perspectives and can be a source of constructive dialogue. But when those differences cross into the realm of denying someone's identity, rights, or worth, it's not just a political disagreement anymore—it's a reflection of values. If your gut is telling you that the underlying beliefs someone holds are creating a moral or ethical conflict that you can't overlook, it's time to trust that instinct. Relationships shouldn't have to come with the cost of your principles or peace of mind. So yes, it's justifiable. After all, the company you keep is a reflection of your own values, and it's important to surround yourself with people who uplift rather than undermine the things you stand for.
Absolutely. Political differences exist because different *worldviews* exist. If your worldview and that of a friend or SO are diametrically opposed, at best you are going to spend a lot of time explaining yourself, and at worst you're going to either be arguing all the time or talkign about nothing more controversial than the weather.
Personally, I don't end friendships over political differences. I have friends that are far right and friend that are far left and I find it interesting to have discussions with them and learn about their perspectives on topics. Even when I don't agree with them, it's nice to get a better understanding of their thought process. Also think it's good to not create too much of a bubble of only like minded people around you.
Same here!!
Of course it is. If someone supported a political party that was against me being able to live my life with the same rights as anyone else, I'm well out of there. For example. Also, you can end a relationship for any reason. "I don't want to be with you anymore" is a perfectly valid reason to end a relationship.
Pre-Trump, not as much. Since Trump, I don't see how partners who are at political extremes can thrive.
As far as I'm concerned, absolutely. If my husband and I differed on our political stance, we would have been divorced a number of years back.
If you are asking the question I bet there is more to the story than just politics. But since you asked, my answer is yes you should end the relationship. An Uber liberal would quickly get tired of me. And a far right conservative would be very agitated. Guns, abortion and community standards are all very hot topics with the left and right. How far can you go in a relationship and not have these issues bother you? Are their families also the same as them? I know from experience that holidays will be rough as you hold your tongue.
Yes. Can’t date someone who doesn’t share my values. I have issues just talking to someone who don’t share my values, I get tired explaining basic human rights, I’m not interested in doing that with a partner.
You are free to end either for no reason whatsoever
You can end a friendship or romantic relationship for any reason you want. Nobody's entitled to someone else.
Yes, it is. It's justifiable to end any relationship over incompatible value systems, which includes politics.
Yes. You don't wanna date/be friends with someone that aligns to the other extreme of what you think, more so if they do it with a smile in their faces. It's not like you cannot be friends/partner with someone that doesn't think like you but it's like me dating a homophobe, or being friends with one. Why waste my time/energy into someone that will hate me no matter what?
You can end any relationship for any reason. You don’t need permission.
Yeah of course
To whom would you need to justify it?
you can end a relationship for any reason you want. you dont have to justify it to anyone.
Absolutely? It's justifiable to end any relationship for any reason provided that you do not have any legal relationship and you have no shared legal responsibilities. If you do, the bar is higher.
I wouldn't end a friendship over the desire for everyone to have free healthcare, but I would end a friendship over the desire to permanently end democracy and install a christo-fascist regime.
You have to ask yourself that and ask yourself if thats justifiable to you. Some people can see past it and some can, either is okay!
That's a difference in ethics in a lot of cases so yes.
It depends in the specifics. Will I end a friendship because a person thinks that all highways should be toll roads? No But if they think that conversion therapy is cool then they are not welcome in my life
As long as the differences are healthy, it's actually healthy and would give you both a 360 view. Respect is critical though.
You could end a friendship or relationship just cause you “feel like it”. You don’t need a reason lol.
In fact you don't need a reason at all.
One simple question: to whom would you (need to) justify it?
It all depends. If one party is incredibly extremist to the point where it is impeding on regular conversations and existence than yes. Otherwise you can usually settle things.
It’s okay to end a relationship at anytime for any reason honestly. Feelings don’t always make sense. If you don’t a relationship with someone for whatever reason at all then you shouldn’t.
Absolutely. Political differences are just moral or ideological differences when you boil them down. If you learn that you disagree with someone in fundamentals issues, then most people would remove themselves from the friendship whether or not politics had anything to do with it anyways.
Values. Politics is guided by a person's values.
It is justifiable to end any relationship without reason.
You don’t need a good reason to end a relationship. But of course you need to life with the aftermath.
Absolutely yes; it says a lot about a person. Some people are a bit shocked how not right wing I am. I would drop a person in a heartbeat if they worshipped money more than peoples basic human needs.
To certain types of people it is, to me personally, I think it's genuinely hilarious that there are real, living, breathing people out there that give a fuck about the political views of their friend
Yes You can end a relationship over literally anything
I don't think it's enough reason to end a relationship. Having political differences doesn't mean couples won't be compactible.
This might be unpopular but I think it's in incredibly poor taste to end a friendship/relationship over politics. There is so much propoganda bullshit on both sides that sounds convincing that anyone that is big headed enough to think they couldnt possibly be wrong about their beliefs I think is being close minded. It's all about mutual respect.
If you have profound differences in your values that make you question the character of the person, yes. If they are differences that don’t harm your view of the person’s integrity, try to stick it out for the sake of open-mindedness. We’re not all right about everything all the time, whatever we may believe.
Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Hell yes.
It sucks to do so but yes, within reason. If someone thinks trickle-down economics works then we have a disagreement. They are wrong but aren’t necessarily assholes because of it. Agree to disagree. My kid is trans and if someone thinks they should be “lined up and shot” as actual people have said out loud, even politicians like Robert Foster, then no—we have different values and cannot be friends. I’m not a single-issue voter but there are a handful of issues I’m not willing to compromise on and that includes the people I choose to surround myself with.
I’m no Biden fan but I think he is just ok… however I couldn’t be friends or have a partner that is a trump fan. It would want to make me scream on a daily basis.
Yes. My rights are not something to just have a “disagreement” about. Anyone who says otherwise is in a position of power and doesn’t understand oppression.
Definitely. I could never be friends and certainly not lovers with a trumpster. It’s way past the “you have to respect their opinion “ stage. He’s a hateful bigot and I have no respect for anyone who supports him and his racist and misogynistic ignorance.
Ha
Political differences. Nah. My fiance and I are getting married soon, and we're on the opposite sides when it comes to politics. We both respect the other person's choice, and we don't force each other to think differently. It's okay if we have different opinions. We can still be friends. :)
Short answer, yes. Long answer, yeeeeeeees.
Yes, absolutely. There are circumstances in which political differences are mere differences of opinion. Should the drinking age be 21 or 18. Should the speed limit be 55 or 85. Should the top marginal tax rate be 35% or 60%. Even bigger differences can be dealt with, should the military budget shrink or grow. Should America adopt universal single payer. Then there are things which are not compatible. Should America enact racial segregation or not. Should women have the right to an abortion or not. Should America support an imperial hegemony or not. Should an elderly senile wannabe Fascist like Trump be President or not. Do immigrants poison the blood of America or not. Are immigrants animals or not. Those things are not mere differences of opinion which can be bridged or on which you can agree to disagree, those are fundamental differences in values. And that's not likely to work in a relationship. Or... It's not likely to work from the standpoint of the more liberal leaning person. A more right leaning person is a lot more willing to be around someone of the opposite views because, and this is important, liberal leaning views on important matters don't center on dehumanizing people, taking away rights, and sometimes just plain killing people. A person on the left is going to have a deeper emotional involvement when it comes to right wing positions. This is similar to how a person who thinks monogamy is important vs a person who doesn't in a relationship. The person who thinks monogamy is important is going to see their view as being more emotionally involving than the person who sees monogamy as not important sees their view. And we'd say that such people probably shouldn't be in a relationship.
Absolutely, ending a relationship over political differences is within reason, especially if those politics are reflective of deep-seated values that affect everyday life and human rights. Politics are no longer just about fiscal policies or infrastructure—they're often a reflection of one's stance on social issues, equality, and human dignity. If someone holds a political view that dehumanizes another group of people, that's not a mere 'difference of opinion.' It's a fundamentally different worldview that affects the perceived humanity of others. We build relationships on mutual respect and understanding, and if that foundation is shaken by a person's political advocacy for policies that strip rights from others, it's more than acceptable to reevaluate that relationship. It's indicative of a rift in core values, and for many, that's not something that can be overlooked for the sake of harmony.
Depends on what you consider "political". The term generally means anything that is being discussed by politicians and lawmakers. Tax rates, some law stuff, whatever, is historically politics. However now because representatives are publicly spouting conspiracy theories, nazi support, bigotry in general, and things like that, it's been considered "political" as well. The latter examples are NOT acceptable. We had the idea that politics shouldn't divide people, but that was when politics was low stakes.
It’s justifiable to end a relationship because you don’t want to be in it. If political differences are that reason for you then so be it.
That's an incredibly subjective question; for some people, yes, no for others, and there's no real way to know until it comes up
If you can't agree to disagree on this, and learn to live together, you are better off, in the long run, without each other.
When your younger I feel like it’s a major issue especially if your in college as everyone seems to talk more about politics. When your older imo it doesn’t matter. I’m a social conservative and very liberal fiscally so really I have no one I like every election. My wife is more liberal socially and conservative fiscally and we made it work.
Your political views literally describe the core values you hold as a person. It’s your expression on how you want yourself and others to be treated. Which is why normal people hate Nazis.
Casual acceptance or association Nazis would be enabling their ideals and values. Sometimes political differences can be cause for breaking off a relationship.
Depends. If the political difference is over something like Gaza, which has zero effect on my life, then I can't see cutting anyone off. But if they're anti-gay and don't believe I should have equality, then they can stay the fuck out of my life.
If someone was a staunch Maga supporter there is no way I would stay with them. We would have nothing in common and it would be pointless to pursue the relationship further.
Yes, if there is a huge gap in morals and values. Especially with romantic relationships as they can produce kids and raising them with very far apart ideals can produce a lot of bad feelings, arguments, and cause break ups. With friendships, if it doesn’t come up then it can be okay. If one person keeps bringing it up, and then doesn’t want to talk it out after making the opinion known, then I would let them go. Lifelong friends are less easy to let to of, and sometimes you may choose to accept their POV and just agree to disagree and not discuss. It becomes a superficial relationship, but nice to maintain because you care for them, you just never see them thru the same lens again
One of the most valid reasons
Yes, I couldn't be friends with someone who is actively working to get me killed.
It’s justifiable to end a relationship or friendship over anything that you don’t like / makes you feel weird. Life is too short. If you’re asking this it means you have your compassion / comprise portion of yourself down. Now add some radical respect for yourself and if u don’t like someone else’s ideas or vibe or whatever there really isn’t a reason for u to stay around it :) be free
Political differences, especially in the current climate, is a difference in values. That is a completely valid reason for ending a relationship.
Absolutely. Political views can reflect a person's core values.
Of course, but I feel like the real personality flaw these days isn’t which political affiliation someone has but how much political hysteria someone has. This would absolutely not apply to somebody who was “really into politics” and therefore, went to lots of city council meetings, sent lots of letters and emails to their representatives, watched lots of C-Span and demonstrated a sports-like obsession with the workings of all things government. I’ve never met that person. “Really into politics”, these days, typically means someone who spends a lot of time hate-scrolling and watching TV news. It’s pretty hard to spend time with someone who’s venting hate all the time, regardless of whether you approve or disapprove of the hate.
Yes. Your politics, if you believe in them strongly, are a reflection of your morals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with ending a relationship over an irreconcilable difference in personal morals.
Depends on the type of disagreement and the way they’re arguing. Let’s say my mate brings up the topic of Palestine saying that it’s not genocide. I mean we can disagree on the topic of pizza toppings but not this honey. I’d an instant turn off from a brainwashed foolish thinking and mentality.
Before Trump I couldn’t imagine it. Now I can’t imagine not doing it.
Absolutely. Political leaning’s tell a lot about a person and their values. If they don’t align with yours, why be friends?
Yes
It depends are they supporting awful human beings or not.
Absolutely. Belief systems are very important. People sometimes snicker at the past where people were literally killed for being a different religion or tribe. Yet, people are not 'more enlightened' today. At best, we just don't kill each other. We still \*hate\* or \*dislike\* or \*keep distance\* or view them as the \*enemy vying for power\*. It's simply very hard to be close to someone with vastly different views. It doesn't mean you can't. It just means for the vast majority of people, it's simply a natural part of human behavior to want those close to you to 'be on the same team' What the team is is going to change and what the range of tolerances are is going to change. You probably can't find someone to perfectly believe everything you do or you'll be alone or in a very small cult. On the other-hand, you can't be close to someone with completely opposite views on everything.
Yes
Totally!, If They Care About That Shit, It's Better To Keep Them Away.
If the differences are far enough apart, they felt stronglya bout, absolutely. It will always be a point of contention and may lead to serious bad blood
I'll add, or religion
10 years ago I would have been ambivalent, but fascism is in the rise in many countries so I’d have to say yes.
I wouldn’t end friendship about a difference in political beliefs. I would end it if they were angry and disrespectful towards me about my beliefs though. I have had it go both ways. One of my best friends I truely love spending time with couldn’t be further opposite from me politically speaking. We can even discuss politics without anyone getting mad because we are both respectful of the other’s opinions.
Depends on your definition of "political". Somehow racism, homophobia, transphobia etc have all become "political" stances which is a flaming crock of shit. So if these are the differences you're referring to than hell yeah it's justifiable.
I mean it depends. Is this person a flat earther? I just can't be around someone that stupid. Do they think gay and black people don't deserve rights? Yea, also gonna be a dealbreaker.
If I were a woman and I learned my husband/boyfriend is one of those that want to end abortion, birth control, and in general support godawful politics that actively screw over women's right....yeah. I'll want a divorce. Specially if it's impossible to make them understand how godawful the shit they're voting for is.
Absolutely a legit reason. For lots of reasons... Political positions are indicators. Critical thinking... human values... and lots of red flags too.
It depends on the difference. You think the USA should have a health care system like Germany, they think we should have a health care system like England, I don't see much point fussing about that. You're both on the side of people getting health care. That's not a difference in *result*, it's a difference in *how to get there*. That's politics in the sense of "what policies will best serve all the people?", and opinions differ. Some differences I would absolutely break up over. You think *Lawrence v. Texas* should be overturned, that's not really politics anymore, about how to serve everybody, that's "you hate gay people and think they aren't people and who cares what policies serve their needs." I couldn't be friends with someone who hated gay people, or Muslims, or anyone else. If you hate people, sooner or later you're going to get around to hating me too, because I'm a person. Another politics-adjacent reason I would break up with someone is lunatic conspiracy thinking, like the covid vaccines have 5G networking nanobots, or Trump really won in 2020, or other deranged idiocies. The problem with that is that even if the lunacy they follow now seems pretty harmless, you never know when you're going to come home and find out that they've thrown away all the packaged food because the UPC code has "666" embedded in it, or they threw out your toothpaste because they saw a post on Facebook saying that the company gives its profits to the church of Satan.
Politics is not an arbitrary “team” like which sports team you root for. It’s your fundamental values put into practice. I can’t be friends with someone who thinks that queer people don’t deserve rights, or that overthrowing the government is an acceptable response to losing an election.
You can leave a relationship or friendship for any reason. Not sure if people realize this
I had some wonderful friends that have gone off the deep end in both politics and religion. I haven't cut them off but I just don't go out of my way to see them anymore.
Only if they’re so insufferable about it that it’s disrupting otherwise normal, unrelated dialogue and actions.
You can end anything you want for any reason you want, on the reverse of that, don't be hurt when others do it to you or if you run out of friends.
HELL yes! I think political party is WAY more important than religious beliefs!!! I was 8 years long distance with this woman whom was my bestfriend and whom we both had feelings for but remained best friends but never made it a “thing” since she was in Germany and I was in the U.S. once we were separated in Highschool and I tell you what, we’d generally steer away from political conversations but with good ol Biden and Trump it was hard not to. I was always civil with her about her political beliefs because realistically the life in Europe is quite different from the U.S. and everyone deserves to have an opinion, it does not affect my life. but whenever she asked why I preferred Trump she would EXPLODE! I gave her legitimate reasonings backed up with articles, my beliefs, how I view things you name it. When id question why she preferred Biden she would just say how Trump sucks! He’s the worst! But she was just belittling and an awful human being filled with hate at this point. Long story short, we cut communication. Im happily married to my beautiful Republican Latina bestfriend meanwhile she tried reaching out to me and apologizing for how she acted 👍
Only if they make it make it part of their personality/every day interactions. I only mention politics when we are specifically talking politics, otherwise I say no
My relationship and love for my friends and family is lot bigger than my love for political values and crappola! People, their opinions and values "can" change with time. Let people be themselves, they have their own reasons to like their political views. I can respectively disagree and cherish their company. HOWEVER, I'll consider that if they actively do things to harm me because of their political ideologies.
It depends, but yeah
You can end a relationship for any reason you want.
Calling it just "political differences" can be oversimplification from someone who thinks those shouldn't matter. If someone I know started claiming the far-right party in my country was the only way to salvage this country, I'd absolutely distance myself from them. And that party isn't crazier than US republican party is. It's never just one thing. They might say, it's mostly about fighting illegal migration. But then they also have absolutely no objection to said party voting 100% against gay marriage few years ago, call climate change hoax, don't mind their representatives have Nazi friends. That's a lot of reasons to not like someone, not just "political differences".
These days politics are about far more than politics.
Yes if they support trump and won’t shut up about it around me
In our 20+ year college friend circle, we had a person who found religion, then started espousing the virtues of a certain politician. One whose followers believed in the curtailment of rights for many of the types of people IN said circle. She would drop into discussions on our pages and preach, and one by one, we all dropped her. Nothing obligates you to spend time and energy associating with people who actively hate your way of life or that of your friends. The past is not a collar. If it no longer fits, let it go.
Ending relationships doesn’t need to be “justified”.
Yes.
I would say depends. Most of the time relationships are ruined by that but it depends on what the situation is. So yes and no maybe so.
It depends Simple differences? Nah. Being around people who think differently is good. Challenging what you believe and why you believe it can be a good thing. Fundamental moral differences? Maybe not the best thing between partners or close friends. I am perfectly fine having friends I don’t agree with politically. I can respect that people have different opinions than I do without resorting to name calling or thinking they are bad people. I can also have my own opinion without telling them that they are wrong for having theirs.
Of course it is. You can end any kind of relationship for any reason you choose and you don't need to justify it. People are not owed relationships
I think it depends on how polarizing the differences in opinions are and if they affect your relationship. To me it’s okay to have your own opinions on things, and be able to act like adults about those differences. If the political views were harmful then I wouldn’t stay with them. Same thing goes for friendships
I have walked away from quite a few relationships because I found out who the person really was at their core.
It would be for me.
Maybe if you are a hardcore right or left sided mindless moron who buys into media bullshit. Nobody likes politically passionate people or wants them at a social Gathering
Of course it is
It depends. We are living in unusual times. I still have friends who are on the the opposite political party , but we avoid discussing politics and I respect them. In today’s climate political differences may also reflect different values.
I think it’s totally fine to have political differences than your partner. I mean, it’s not like they voted for Trump, right?
If it is their whole personality it definitely is
I have a former friend who I discovered was a Qanon type far right conspiracy theorist, I’m polite and respectful to this acquaintance, but our friendship ended when he called me a Nazi for supporting mask mandates, he screamed this at me when I tried explaining the science he didn’t understand or want to understand.
Yes. Your political opinions are a reflection of your values. I am not friends with people I think have poor values
My wife and I disagree about many things, but generally agree on important things. So I wouldn’t leave someone because they disagreed about tax policy or agricultural subsidies but wouldn’t be with someone who wants gay kids electrocuted or migrants thrown in camps
It might be awkward to keep the friendship or romance going. Too awkward. I don't believe in vegans. I think humans have been consuming eggs, milk, and meat for so long it is required to function. If my best friend said that he dislikes me because of my beliefs I would feel weird. More than an anyhing I hate bears. We have 25,000 of them in Wisconsin. Every time an old lady sees one walk by her mobile home she gets nervous. I think we should cull every last bear. All it takes is an old, senile, and vicious bear to show up and it might rip off someone's face. In Illinois they cull their bears and so does Iowa. The show Grizzly Adams embedded in America's belief system that a young bear is no different than a large dog. Not true ! Then one day I was making my arguments on Reddit that are anti-bear. A clown speaks up and says, "Buddy, the bears were in Wisconsin before people were." That made me cry like a faucet. Bears get hungry and they might chew on something inedible like a pinecone. Then their teeth are cracked and broken. Meanwhile there is no such thing as a dentist for bears. They desperately need one because they are in pain. That's why they kill. \~Mortimer Reed
Opposing political ideas should be discussed, however, when we discuss these ideas, we are not meant to use these ideas to exclude others or to deny the legitimacy of opposing ideas. The goal of political discussion is for understanding. It is to say; "this is how we see things, this is what we think we need as people". So when people in this comment section say you should remove yourself from someone's company, simply because one or both of you couldn't handle that discussion, then that's on you. When someone instead uses their political leaning to give the sentiment; "The other party is wrong, they should not be listened to." that's a different thing. That is not strictly political discussion, it does not lead to understanding, and it does not lead to solidarity. That is a situation you may want to consider that the discussion is not being used appropriately, and if either party cant be an adult about it and understand not everyone needs to think the same thoughts, then yeah, you should consider talking about it with them.
It was never real to begin with.
I’ve had to do it since Trump and the pandemic. Some folks turned vile I used to know for years. It’s like something broke in their brain. I don’t have time for toxic and racist in my life.
I try staying away from people with strong political opinions in the first place
Absolutely. If someone I was dating (haha like) said “I support trump” I’m walking out on the spot.
I was raised in a country with 4 political parties. The rule was that the dad would belong to the establishment party, mom to its immediate rival, and the kids would be split among 'greens' and outright Marxists. No blood was ever spilled, not even on election day.
Depends on the differences. If you differ on the precise level of taxation, then why squabble over a few dollars? On the other hand, if you differ on democracy vs fascism, hate vs acceptance, controlling people vs freedom of choice, then that's serious. Those are existential questions. I would not waste my time with someone who feels that my women friends can't control their bodies or that my gay friends should be in prison, just for example. These are irreconcilable differences in worldview.
I wouldn't. I've maintained friendships with people of different religions and politics and even a very healthy romantic relationship. Look I'm a Sunni Muslim who has very real friendships with people quite different. I have friends who are wiccans, fundamentalist Christians, Crowleyite Thelemites, Jews, one Hindu, and a number of atheists. And as a Sunni Muslim I also have Shia friends.i have anarchist friends, two Communist friends, a couple of far right neo-reactionary types, one outright fascist. When I was younger I learned that friendship was friendship. And even though people might have awful views I don't accept (awful of course being my subjective judging) that doesn't make them awful people. I also learned at high school lunch tables that you can argue with people about issues and ideas and still be friends at the end of the day.
I ended some friendships with a few people after Barack Obama was first elected president. I thought these people were reasonable, fair-minded folks but the 2008 election brought out a level of unmitigated anger and racism that I just couldn't let slide. I miss those people on occasion but I still think that I made the right choice. As far as Trump goes, I will not be in a relationship or friendship with anyone who has supported him. Period. I have a few Trump supporting family members and I avoid them any time I can. His election and presidency will leave a deep stain on this country that, in a best case scenario, will take decades to heal.
My husband is a registered Democrat and I am a Republican. We’ve been married for 46 years. I can’t imagine letting our political opinions get between us in the marriage bed. It would seem to me that if you are ready to end things, then there’s more than just political differences at play.
Both wings of the same corrupt shit bird 🤷♂️