My mom charged me token rent after college when I had to move back for a few years. At 30, with a wife and kids in tow, I think charging rent for the whole upstairs unit is reasonable and to be expected. It’s not just like a spare bedroom.

I would say, depending on the parent, it's also just good to not have that "free ride" aspect being held over the kids head or the parents feeling like they should have more of a say in their adult lives.

For a person in their 30s, they should pay rent, I think. Why should your parents still be paying your bills when you're more than old enough to be a parent yourself? I'd say it's quite entitled of the "child" to still be acting like a child and expecting a free ride in their 30s. Teens and early 20s, sure. But after full time education I'd expect someone to at least be paying their way.

I think it's all circumstantial. If my child wasn't motivated, I'd charge them rent to try to motivate them to work and support themselves. Alternatively if they were working hard and just wanted to save money and I had the space, I'd let them stay there for as long as they like, rent free. I fully plan to leave everything behind for my kids. The step-up in basis is meant to help our children. I just hope I can help educate them enough to understand how the world works and what they need to do to keep ahead.

Circumstantial in a way also somehow cultural, as some culture don’t really allow their kids to leave home until they get married. The parents usually don’t officially charge rent, but working children would give parents some money to contribute the household expenses and food (be frank I heard in some cases, it is not cheaper than moving out). Oh and also, when parents ask you do this and that, you have to do it.

>some culture don’t really allow their kids to leave home until they get married Some it's even bad manners to move out at this point too. If it's all agreed upon by both parties, then what's the problem. The guy is 30. He should be contributing to the house in some way at least. Especially when his immediate family is the majority of the house. I don't agree with parents forcing their kids out of the house when they're not ready, but I also don't agree that they shouldn't be living past 30 rent free in the house.

This is really tough for me to process in particular. I grew up with emotionally manipulative parents and an abusive step-father-like. After moving out and living by myself, I've realised a lot of my drained energy and "unmotivated" nature stemmed from them. Finances are intrinsically tied to our sense of worth and mental health (even though it shouldn't be), so in my case, my parent's trying to charge me with rent at 16 while taking intensive courses was, imo, not a great decision. Even still, my parents are well-off, one even inherited a million recently. I didn't see a cent of that lol. Different parents, different styles. The choice to provide is the idyllic correct choice, but a choice most of us cannot make for free out of circumstance. But even in OP's case I have to wonder if COL is an excuse to profit off of the children from my past experiences. Sorry for the venting lmao, but I think it helps get the point across.

I disagree that letting your 30-year-old son live at home is the "idyllic correct choice." And I also don't think there's any reason to assume that OPs friends mom is just trying to "profit off her children" (sounds like she has a space that she'd otherwise be renting out yo someone else). Generally speaking, I'd say that someone with this sttitude seems entitled - buy in your circumstances, I can totally see where you're coming from. Charging a 16 year old just sounds wrong! Your still a minor. If the laws where you live are the same as where I live, they were still legally obligated to provide for you at that age unless you had chosen to leave home. 

Yeah see, that’s exactly how my parents treated myself and my siblings as teens. If we showed proactiveness in our studies, could balance a part time job and save our money, instead of spending every paycheck on useless rubbish, we lived rent free.

yes also the rental crisis after covid has gone nuts and a lot of businesses are in transition and closed down. A lot of unexpected change. We always grew up with - who can give, gives and who needs to be given is being given. I always give what I have and I never regretted helping. It’s crazy to me how many homeless people there are whilst their family is living in a beautiful big house. How does this have anything to do with a living and supportive family. Plus people can be driven into poverty real quick when life happens in a traumatic way, this can be physical or mental. We used to live in communities and support each other, now we have our families only to rely on. Of course, if they’re struggling themselves, you help together. But I way rather share my tiny apartment with a loved one who needs support instead of letting them struggle .. it’s a given that they’re wanting to get back on their feet and just needing support, I’m not talking about someone who’s lazy or comfortable

I agree that they should be contributing especially at that age and especially considering she would need to sell the house without some kind of financial support. However the world we live in now a days is extremely different to how it used to be. many many moons ago you could own a home on a single income in your 30s and have kids. It is getting increasingly difficult for younger people to not only find employment that pays enough to be able to afford a home, but the cost of living and the cost of housing is sky rocketing at a much faster rate then peoples incomes. It can feel extremely unmotivating for younger generations to find and maintain work knowing they will never be able to afford a house. Living in constant stress of if they can afford rent or food can lead to an increase in mental health issues which in itself can make things harder for the individual experiencing them. I think the whole people being "entitled" and expecting a "free ride" is absolute bullshit. A lot of this stuff thats happening is a symptom of a much larger issue in the world we live in, especially in the west. In australia the housing market is so out of control, there are families who are living in their cars, or in motel , or with their parents because of how absurdly expensive housing and renting is. Real estate agents are constantly taking advantage of tenets, allowing people to live in home thats are completely mis managed, riddled with problems and mould, and continue to increase rent prices to "Match the market" while leaving people with no other options but to resort to the above mentioned forms of living. Couple that with the huge increase in the cost of living it, of course people will want to not have to pay rent or get a "free ride", because they feel its their only chance at actually saving money and being able to eventually afford a place on their own.

Trying to renegotiate the rent after they moved in is a dick move. Either agree to the price, or find somewhere else to live. Trying to stiff a family member on rent is an asshole move.

A 17 year old is wildly different than a 30+ year old. You're legally required to provide for your minor child, and even for a few years after that, it makes sense not to charge rent because they haven't really had time to get into a career yet. At 30, you've had at least a decade to get your feet under yourself. If your kid hasn't by then, letting them live rent-free is just enabling freeloading.

My parents told.me.and all my siblings the same thing when we grew up and left the house to go on our own: "As long as we're alive and have the means to provide it, you'll always have food in your belly and a roof over your head. It may not be a lot, and you may not like it, and you may not like the rules that come along with it, but it's always there if you need it". In my late 20s I took them up in the offer for a year or so when I got laid off and went back to school. And again for about 9 months in my 30s when my lease expired while I was still looking for a house to buy. Neither time did they charge rent, but expectation is I would be a contributing member of the household. I did chores (lawn, plumbing, auto maintenance, cooking). If I was gonna be out late/overnight id have to tell them so mom wouldn't worry. They are good Catholics and while they won't tell me how to live my life they insisted no overnight guests in the same bed. Nothing burdensome. It was a huge help to me in a time when I really needed it, and in a time where it made a big financial difference to me.

This is how my mom is, and it just floors me that so many parents think they’re being so generous by charging “below market rate” for rent. If the kid refuses to grow up then maybe you could argue for charging them more rent to try and get them to be an adult, but for anything other than that I just think it’s wrong to fleece your kids for money

Eh, different strokes and all that. We're lucky enough that my parents could afford to have me stay with them. But we were not always so lucky, in my younger childhood we were QUITE poor. I can totally see parents who would love to provide support system for their kids, but can barely pay the electricity and water and grocery bills with just two of them. They might NEED to have their child contribute to the bills, without it being them "fleecing" them.

See that’s different though, if they struggling financially then it makes sense. I’m talking about the parents who just choose to charge exorbitant amounts of rent because they can

100% I moved in with my folks when I was 32. I paid a token amount ($60) for food. I wanted to work less so I could study. My parents would have been highly offended had I insisted on market costs. They could afford to help me so they did. Did I have less freedom than I did in my own place? Of course. I had to be quieter, I had to keep them in the loop with where I was, like you no night time friends (parents also religious). Their house, their rules. I probably did less cleaning/cooking than I should have but I was still very much in recovery from a serious health issue in my late 20s. I did anything they asked but could have been more proactive. They gave a lot of leeway because been terrified your kid is going to die for 3 years does result in a lot of leeway for said kid (didn't intentionally take advantage of that, just looking back I can see the grace they gave me). Parents aren't limitless pits of money and it seems the 30 year olds mum is doing what she can to help but a blanket rule of "all 30 year olds should pay rent" just isn't useful. Circumstances matter. Why are you moving in? What help can I afford to give? What are other surrounding circumstances?? From 26-29 I spent my life in and out of hospital with very serious medical issues. My parents BEGGED me to move in. To the point, if I had agreed they would have sold their house to buy one with a granny flat - which I assume is similiar to a "mother daughter". With zippo cost to me. They could afford to and they wanted their very sick daughter where they could see her and try to support her. Instead they just had to pay half my rent because I refused (right decision. It was mental health and moving in would have not helped). Circumstances matter.

The only addendum I would say is, if your kid in their 20s-30s is having a tough time, you should cut them a break.  I left a job one time, thinking I had 2 part time gigs lined up however those fell through. It was 9 months before I could even find part time work. I went 0/23 on interviews for a variety of different jobs.  If it wasn't for gracious friends, I would have been on the streets. I kind of would have expected parents to do the same. 

Hell ya. People don't realize how quick "it's ok!" can turn into "OH FUCK!". In those times it would be a little mean to ask for rent straight up. A payment plan is logical but kicking someone out at theor lowest (given they are a good guest) is cold.

This happened but to my parents. Dad made great money until he ended up in the hospital mostly due to work stress. I don’t know what they would have done if we couldn’t move in together so he could stop working.

Yep. That was me. When those two pt gigs fell through I was like "That sucks, it'll be tough for a month or two" then rejection after rejection and interview after interview.  Honestly, it was the worst depression I ever experienced, I almost killed myself numerous times. 

Agreed. My parents didn't cut my brother a break when he desperately needed one after his closest family member tragically and unexpectedly passed away, immediately followed by a nasty divorce where he lost everything and became horribly depressed because he had to move home and fight to see his kids, which he couldnt afford to do. He didn't want to have to turn to his baby sister even though it was my idea, but after getting the same and then worse treatment from other family, he called me from a gas station out of state, living in his truck, with his phone shut off and enough money to either turn it back on or get to me. I told him come up to my place and we'll figure everything out, got him to look at a map while I provided directions but not much about my apartment.. He was at my door the following evening - he actually found me by hearing me smoke my after-work bowl, lol. I asked nothing of him but to clean up after himself and get back on his feet and that's exactly what he did. He needed 10 months to recollect himself but my brother did the damn thing and saved up to go live close to his kids again. It's been 3 years and he still frequently thanks me for that. Sometimes people you love need a break, and if you're in even the slightest position to help, catch them while they're falling. As long as I have a roof over my head, my brother knows he's always welcome, any time of the day, no questions. I extend the same to a select group of loved ones.

Yeah even age 20s+ I would never put my kid out on the street if they were actively looking for work or getting an education. I would definitely have them pull their weight around the house in the meantime though.

Oh absolutely. It's definitely contextual. I'd see the difference being a temporary thing while in transition versus a long-term permanent living situation. We all need help sometimes, and it's only when that help becomes chronic that it turns into enabling.

There's cutting them a break, and then there's letting them leech off you like a parasite. I've seen quite a few cases when older kids move back in (or simply have never left) who just blatantly sponge off their parents and don't even lift a finger to help around the house (even to the point their parents are cleaning their room and doing their laundry). You got to draw a line somewhere.

Ya, pretty much this. I mean, hard times is one thing. I graduated high school in 2008 and remember having 40 year olds applying at the ABC. But 30 and never lived out of the house? The bill is due.

With the exception of it being a one off. Never left the nest? You should be paying rent no question. Coming back home because you're going through a breakup, got fired from your job, or otherwise need help due to a serious life event, then rent should be free, or at least super cheap until they're able to get their life going back in the right direction.

Not all 30 year olds have had a decade to "get your feet under yourself". Ever moved countries and basically started over? Mental health crises? Extreme HCOL areas? There's so much more nuance to that.

It's pretty normal. In my case, my parents were well off enough that after I moved out, they revealed that they'd saved up all my rent payments as a down payment for a house for me. But they'd long since paid off their own mortgage, so they weren't having trouble paying the bills. If I was a decade younger, they wouldn't have been able to do that.

Wow that’s awesome!

Yup, I love my parents.

I've seen this happen a few times with friends to varying degrees (some got all the money back, others some). My parents did something similar for me when I was recovering from a health issue mid 20s and I hope I'm in a similar position if one of our kids needs to move back home for whatever reason.

Yeah, pretty much this. I would not charge my child rent, but I would all but insist that they put away the equivalent in a savings account for their future. It’s a little different, because the money stays in their hands instead of mine, but same concept.

My parents thought it was unfair towards my sibling that I could live at their house rent free while my sibling moved out already, so they made me pay the rent to my sibling.

Jesus that must have made you feel awful. Sorry dude.

Wow that's something else......... I had a sibling once try to complain, I pointed out they would have been allowed to move back too if hadn't been moving with SO so it was their choice to not take the free rent option from parents (not that parents were against SO or anything, just had the boundary like they aren't going to support someone who isn't their kid so id sibling had wanted to, they'd be welcome to move back alone but instead chose to live with SO and therefore had more struggles $ wise for the "broke young adult" type timeframe.

My friend did a similar thing with his kid. He had them open a savings account and make the “rent” payments to their savings account. Within two years, they saved up enough money for a decent down payment on a house.

I live at home. I am almost 38, but I do a LOT around here. I do not pay rent. I do all of the chores, and my Mom does some as well. When she had chemo, I took care of her. When my Father had his knee replaced, I took care of him. A lot of the time I do feel more like a house manager than their kid. It works for us though.

You sound like a great person! I hope your mother is doing well now.

That's a different situation. Being a caregiver as opposed to an entitled mooch. You in essence did your rent by caring for parents and home (I did this as well, and the finances, dad had parkinsonian dementia). Just running to the Dr appointments is a job in itself. Lost my day planner once (days before cell) and sat in the Dr office and cried. Without that I didn't know what to do next

I feel like they're really happy to have you there. Totally different situation. 

Oh yeah. Mom was going through end stage metastatic breast cancer at the same time. Plus I was in massage school full time. Crazy times. I look back and don't know how I got through schooling. It's not just rubbing bodies. All that physiology.

Depends on the culture, you'll never find a jew (unless they're very assimilated) charging their kids for rent. It's family and that mindset is carved into our culture.

Depends on the country too. More and more as this subject comes up it seems like in a *lot* of countries it's completely normal and expected that children live at home until they're married, and some continue to live at home after getting married in multigenerational homes. But "Western" countries (quotes because aside from the US, in which I live, I can't speak for certain for other countries' norms though I've read conflicting views) seem to believe that children leave home sometime between 18-30 and stay on their own and if they come back to the parents' house they should be charged for relying on the people who made the choice to bring them into the world, even regardless of circumstances. It baffles me. It's like they think their duties as a parent end once the child moves out and the relationship becomes an ongoing transaction.

Yes I've had this exact thought too. It's like there's a time limit on the unconditional love a parent has for their child.

I don't see it as transactional or conditional love, it's about not taking advantage of others or expecting them to provide for you AND themselves. It's about give and take, equality and respect. Now, if the arrangement is that they look after you until you have a house/family and you look after them once they're retired/dependent, then that's fine. But in western countries that sort of thing isn't typical. So if you have one without the other, you just have one person giving and the other taking for their entire relationship. I could never do that to my parents. In saying that, I do hate things being too transactional. My friend lives with me and I don't charge him rent so he can save for his own house. He helps me with my pets and stuff around the house in return. I make more money and it's an arrangement that works for both of us. My family also help each other out regardless of age or relationship. If any one of us needs a place to stay, we know we will have it. We don't expect anything in return, only to not be taken advantage of. But somebody who takes from you when they don't need it so that they can get ahead, and leave you behind, is a selfish person. I think it should partly come down to money. If the parents are loaded then they can make life easier for their kids. If the kids are well off and the parents are still paying a mortgage as they approach retirement (like in the example provided by OP)... I think it's really really selfish and exploitative to just use your parents to get ahead while not helping them do the same.

In most Asian families it would be downrighr sociopathic to charge your children rent, regardless of age. Its just the nature of living as a family unit until one of your kids moves out to start their own family.

I know many Asian families where the children pay for their parent's expenses. It's just not considered "rent". The parent paid all educational expenses, then the child pays for the parents to be able to retire.

Or most Asian cultures too- I feel like contributing to food or bills is good but even that is sometimes met with pushback. You’re expected to take care of your family in turn as well, especially as they get older. Personally I find it really odd to charge “market rent” to your own kids. Unless you’d otherwise have to rent out rooms in your family home and you’re losing income, it seems such an odd mindset culturally towards family to me.

Yeah I was ready and willing to add my 2c to this thread untill I released that it's most likely majority Americans (like all of Reddit) and that their relationship with personal value, family and finance are mostly different to mine as a middle class person in Australia.

A grown man should be paying his mother rent. Since he’s paying less than market value, he can still save to buy a house. Joe might have been coddled and if so, he might not think he has a responsibility to pay to live somewhere. But part of being an adult is paying your bills and rent is definitely a bill, whether is landlady it is a relative or not.

Mentioning bills actually brings up another point. Some of that money might be going to their share of utilities and maintenance costs, which they would be paying either way.

Yeah. It's pretty normal.

The property owner pays property taxes on a 2-family house that can bring in income. The 2-family house still requires maintenance and insurance. Things still wear out and break down. They may not need to be replaced today, but if Mom rents later - she'll need to pay out of her pocket to fix the roof, replace the fridge, and other things. Tenants should be contributing to the property. Family means Mom is giving them a break on rent. Joe is being dramatic. Adam may not be able to save all the money for a house downpayment, but he can put away the money he's saving. Naturally Joe thinks everyone should be like him. That's all he knows. He assumes every parent can afford what his parents did.

I charge my nephew nominal rent. He saved money. When he moved out to a new townhouse he bought with the money he saved, I gave back all the rent he paid to increase his down payment.

This is it. After 20 or when he finished school will try to charge rent and put it all in a savings account for when he moves out.

I would absolutely charge the adult rent. A 17 year old isn't supposed to be self-sufficient. A 30-something with a wife and kids is supposed to be beyond self-sufficient. Joe is a chump.

A 30 yo is a grown ass man. It would be one thing if his mother could afford it herself, but since she can’t, they are pretty much roommates. She’s totally in the right. Joe needs to mind his own business and understand that everyone isn’t privileged enough to have parents who can house them for free and carry them.

Joe is an entitled ass. Yes, that's perfectly normal.

Not normal in my country unless money is tight. Quite normal in USA.

You don't charge your 17yo because his a child and it's your legal obligation to provide him shelter. Charging grown adults is common and whatever that situation looks like is up to the involved parties. Charging enough to cover expenses but way under market rate is more than generous. Your friend needs to trade the term "not fair" with recognizing fair has nothing to do with it. He doesn't like his situation, that's life, it doesn't mean he's being treated unfairly. He's just being a whiner.

A 17yo and 30 something is different first off. A minor IS your dependent, by definition that’s how it should be… Seems Adam moved in as a way to help his mother keep their family/her home. Younger folks may move in so the parent/s help them reduce cost/save. Two different things, apples and oranges. Adam’s wife is an AH imho, tarnishing a really nice gesture and solid offer. 1k in a HCOL area - you stfu and be grateful you married into such thoughtful and supportive family imho. Save what you can from that deal. They’d save nothing or close to it otherwise.

Excellent answer. I agree completely.

Everyone’s different but my parents usually are willing to forgo charging me and my siblings rent when we temporarily move in with them on the condition that we help them out around their house. So a lot of chores and the like to make their life a little bit easier. But if we don’t, then we have to pay them rent plus a portion of the utilities. I think that’s a fair trade.

He's an adult. In his 30s! He should be able to afford to put a roof over his head regardless of who owns the roof. Likewise as a parent, interested in their well being, you want to teach your man-child how to be a functioning adult who can manage adult responsibilities like paying rent in their 30s.

You can't compare a 30+ year old with kids with a 17 year old dependent child. Although they may act the same. Yes the 30 year old should be paying his mother rent, to help offset the utilities he will be sucking up. On top of that, he should do yard maintenance and any fixing he is mentally capable of doing. No person over 30 should expect a free ride, unless they are physically taking care of that parent. If he is not currently employed, give him a window of time of free rent (doing things around the place) while he finds a job and gets going. Then rent will start.

Mom probably didn't buy a duplex so that she could have guests over. Her financial planning for her retirement almost certainly involves the income from that upstairs appartment. What would you think if someone suggested she was obligated to give half her monthly income to her 30 year old son? That's basically what Joe is saying. Between cutting them some slack on the rent (1k is a lot of slack!) and the free babysitting she is doubtless providing, Mom is being very generous. Way more generous than anyone has a right to expect of her. Hopefully Adam, who does sound like a good guy, is enough of a mensch to realize that he is eating into her nest egg right now and that he needs to pay that back when he is in a position to do that-- whether that means in direct finanical contributions or by stepping up and caring for her in her old age.

I’m old. When my kids got jobs I charged them 25.00/week rm a board. I put the cash in an envelope without telling them. Saved every dollar. When they left home I gave it back to them.

My parents told my brother and I when we first moved out that we are always welcome back in their house rent free. They figured once we moved out, having to live back in with your parents is a bummer and we would love back out as soon as we were able. Sure enough, my brother fell on hard times after he finished college, and he lived with my parents rent-free in his mid twenties. He worked and saved and was out again in about a year. It was no skin off their backs as his room was still in the house and he paid for his own food. There was a few months in 2017 where I was struggling finding housing, and I knew my parent's house was an option. But with a fiancé (now husband, parents said he was welcome as well), I absolutely did *not* want to live with my parents again. Having that fallback, though, has always been comforting. But in the situation of the OP, if an adult child is living in a separate unit that could otherwise be rented out to someone else for income, and the mother is struggling to pay the cost of the house without that income? Yes, he should pay rent. If he was back in his childhood bedroom, depending on his financial situation, then no. But having his own apartment that just so happens to be owned by his mom? Pay up.

I think that’s why I’m so on the fence. On the one hand, yeah, his mom should absolutely have an open door policy for him. But on the other hand, it is a whole separate unit, with multiple bedrooms, kitchen and all. And it sounds like Adam knows for certain that the mom can’t afford to keep the house without any rent money. It just got me thinking. Like, privilege seems to be the dividing factor here.

If she can't keep her house without any income and he's living there without contributing that's not just not charging him rent, that's him actively contributing to her being worse off. It's not some neutral situation, where everyone benefits, but one where he benefits at her expense. That's not cool. (And the wife is a nightmare if she actively wants her mother-in-law to be less stable in her housing. Your parents might support you, but you should also support them.)

I’m in my 30s married with kids. A while ago we moved back in with my parents when my dad couldn’t work anymore. My sibling(25) also lives with us. We pay $1600 for the two rooms, sibling pays $800 for their one room and my parents pay $1600 for their two rooms. We all pay rent because we have to. If my parents could afford the rent I’m sure they would try not letting us pay, but I still would. It might be different because we have no plans of saving up to move out at least not for a long time. We like living together and we enjoy having a larger house than we could get on our own. We also split things like we pay for internet, Hulu and Disney. Parents pay for Netflix & garbage and water.

The circumstances matter. A younger single person just getting on their feet, I wouldn't expect it. For someone older, it also depends... do the parents need the money? Is the house paid off? Is the person going through a very difficult time and really can't pay anything? If the house is paid off, they should at least pay their share of the expenses. In this circumstance, you've got a whole family, spouse & kids, moving into a place where the mother has made it clear she needs the extra income. That's a burden you shouldn't just expect the mother to take on. The wife is a turd for trying to lower it more after the fact, especially with it already being $1000 below market. How much do you want to bet the wife will also be the first one to cheap out if the mother ever goes into an assisted care home.

What i explained to my kids was once your done school, you pay rent. But I didn't want all their money, it would be cheap, but still appropriate. We'd also have a bit of a sliding scale...being an adult going to school full time = no rent. Part time school = part rent. School done = rent. They agreed that it was fair. The house uses money to run, we all live there, we all chip in appropriately

I'm an adult living with my parents. The reason I think children should pay rent is because then parents have less of a say on how you spend your money.

Unless the parent is financially well off and doesn't need the money and wants to help their child build up their finances, I would think it would be expected for an adult with a family should pay rent to their mother/parents. I don't think that's even a question. It really depends on the circumstances. I just think the idea that parents are generally "obligated" to provide free housing to adult children is both immature and entitled.

My parents charge rent (I am also in my 30s). I'm pretty sure they're charging less than the market rate, but they'd also rather have me than the average renter, so I think it's fair. And they're good parents.

After high school, my parents charged me about $300/month in rent. I was working and saving money, this just covered the utilities I used and contributed to the family grocery budget. It was also about 1/4 of what a 1 bedroom apartment cost. If I was between jobs or working part-time I took over more of the housekeeping.

When I started my apprenticeship, I gave my mother €90 a month. When that was done, I gave her €200-300 a month (I made more than her). She never asked for money, but she had to pay all the groceries, rent, electricity (I'm an IT guy, so that was a lot) and water (I love showering), so I just did it until I moved out. I have a good relationship with my mother, kinda felt right and I'd do it again. I was 18-23 back then. Not sure about charging rent, but it's definitely understandable for someone who's 22+ and has an income.

absolutely normal. I'm confused as to why you would ever think differently.

It's totally normal for someone in their 30's to pay rent. Typically, when living with a parent this rent is lower than market rate.

If they are old enough to get an apartment on their own, they are old enough to pay rent if they choose to live at home.

It is not the mom's responsibility to house her son if he's 30+. At that age you should support your own self and the mom has the right to profit off of renting out part of her house.

A 30+ yr old needs to pay their living expenses unless there’s some extenuating circumstances. I will not be charging my kids rent when they’re in college, and likely not for a couple years after. But the intent would be that they are saving every single penny to move out and are paying other expenses.

No, it's not. Inflation is causing many to struggle. What would be unusual is a 30 something year old not want to pay rent and help out their mom/MIL. If the mom could afford to have their child live there rent free while she still lived comfortably and had no issues with covering expenses, then great! However, this is not always the case. It sounds like your friend's mom can't afford to have their son live there rent free. So he has two options: (a) live there and pay his mom a lower rent than normal or (b) live with a landlord who doesn't care about him and pay more rent (market value) that is pocketed by a non-family member. As for Joe saying it is unfair, life is unfair. It sounds like Joe's parents are better off financially than Adam's mom, and Joe should be thankful for the help he received. Many people are struggling financially now and it's only going to get worse. Adam's wife is an AH if she tries to negotiate for a lower rent. She is getting: 1) Lower rent than any rental they would find, which should allow them to save some money. 2) A "Land Lady" that actually cares about her and her family. If I was mom in this case, unless they had exentuating circumstances to want an even lower rate, I would be upset, angry and would feel like I was being taken advantage of. Which would lead to me not wanting to rent to them. Asking for a lower rent could backfire on the wife/her family in multiple ways. Also, mom has to rent out the unit to be able to afford the house. Does the wife not care about mom's financial stability and well being?

My folks said I could live with them after High school. But 1 of 2 things must happen. I either go to college, or pay them rent. I feel like thats pretty fair.

Hope that everyone on here who is recounting their parents' kindness remembers this when their parents need THEM. 

Joe is spoilt.

I started paying board to my parents when I started full time work, but that was mainly because my parents had retired by the time I finished university and were on a pension so it was mainly me contributing to the household until I moved out about 4 years later.

It really isn’t anyone’s business what private arrangements people make. They don’t necessarily know the circumstances that create the arrangement in this case it sounds like the mom needs the help financially. They are also paying below market rates and I am sure are benefitting from reduced utility costs, family meals and of course, built in childcare. Plus why should she be expected to support her adult child if he is capable of paying housing costs With all that said, as long as people feel they are being treated equitably and not being taken advantage of then it really doesn’t matter if they do or do not pay rent.

In 2005 I moved back home. Not only did I get a divorce but the company I worked for got sold and I would have had to move across the country to work a little above min wage job. My mom charged me 600 in rent and I also paid for the Gardner. I lived there until I bought my house in 2014. Now when I turned 18 I was told I either have to get a real job (compared to fast food weekend only type) and pay rent or go to college full time. So no I don't think it unusual and would actually expect it.

People save housing deposits while paying rent all the time. It is normal both for adult children to be charged rent, or not to be, depending on the circumstances of each party. There should never be any expectation of a free ride for an adult child, IMO.

At 30 and fully functional.... You're now an equal contributor to the family household. Once the olds are retired... you owe them, and support them.

Should a grown ass man pay rent? Why would anyone even question this?!

I think ultimately it depends if you bring a net positive or net negative (that needs to be balanced out with money) I’m grateful to be in a position where I’ve moved home with my parents for no rent while I build my house. But I’m constantly cleaning the house, moving furniture, digging holes and generally being a handyman for my parents to show my gratitude. I suspect if I sat around playing video games I’d be asked to pay rent within a week.

Nope. Whether parents do or not depends on circumstances. I moved back in with my parents when I was 32 - because it meant I could cut my work hours down drastically so I could study. My parents had a combined income of about $220k. I didn't pay rent. They wanted to help and they could afford to do so with no adjustment to their standard of living. IIRC I gave them $60 a week for food but it was very much a token amount so I don't really count it. If I moved in now? Ok, I still work PT (but more hours) because I have health issues but they're retired and now earn closer to $90k. They'd probably still allow me to stay with a token amount for food, but I'd insist on rent unless my health drastically dropped and I simply couldn't. If Adams mum could afford to help him more, then that'd be awesome. She is helping as much as she can. She would be perfectly reasonable to charge market rate. Instead she worked out what she can provide and is providing that. Parents aren't endless buckets of money. They can't give what they don't have and Adam is absolutely right that he should be paying rent. (Note: A parent is well within rights to charge market rent even if they can help more, but realistically many parents DO what to help their kids as much as they can. If a parent CAN help their kids and refuses to, I admit I will judge them. They're within their rights not to help, but I don't have to respect them for that decision).

My parents charge both myself and now my sister ‘board’ at $150 a week - they started as soon as I graduated for me and as soon as she turned 18 for her (she turned 18 after graduating, I turned 18 before graduating), so no

Wait, it’s not normal to be expected to contribute towards keeping the roof over your head, food on the table, etc? Okay obviously I’m being a bit of a smart arse but I started paying something like rent to my parents about six weeks after I turned 18, it taught me how to budget, and set me up to rent my own place a few years later, I know I wasn’t paying anything like market rates, but I’m actually grateful to my parents.

Not when they're 30+. Grown ass adults should contribute to the household they live in

I realise how I sound when I say this but fuck it. I got my first job at 14 peeling potato's at the local market. Pay was a few bucks an hour and I worked about 15 hours a week during school time and about 45 hours a week during holiday periods. From my very first paycheck,my mum took 15% for taxes (fave it back to me at tax time, to teach me about taxes) and then took another 20% for rent and amenities. It was never about the money, it was about teaching me money management. And now 25 years later I'm debt free and living a pretty fucking good life. All while doing the bare minimum. I'm all for helping out your kids, but if they are adults with jobs then charge em. Family rates for sure, but nothing in life should be free.

I’m old but if my adult so. Or daughter were living at home not going to school or planning long term I would ask for rent after 25 or so.

I think it’s fine. I think it’s pretty normal to ask members of your household to contribute. For younger children that could be via doing chores or helping with siblings (I’m not talking about parentification but I think it’s fine for them to watch a sibling while you run to the grocery store or something). For older children I think it’s fine to ask for financial contribution. I bought my 17 year old son a car and in exchange I gave him a (small) dollar amount he can contribute toward insurance. Not because I don’t have the money, but because he should have some skin in the game. Asking for rent from a 30 year old doesn’t seem too much. The amount you ask your household to contribute is going to depend on your preference and the household income.

If you’re under 25 and figuring out your life it should be no charge, once you start getting past that charges should kick in. Parents should never support their kids forever

I’d say it’s ok to charge, as long as it doesn’t affect their quantity of living. Also, if you can, bank the money for when they need a deposit on a house. That in mind, there was thread on Reddit from someone who’s family charged them rent whilst they were at uni, then tried to give them the money, and they absolutely blew up, were going NC, and refusing the money. IIRC they’d had to struggle for money throughout uni, taken out loans, not gone to their first choice of uni, scrimped and saved, missed out on all the fun/extracurriculars at uni, and then upon graduation been given a cheque from their mum/dad.

This is so individual. Some parents are happy to have their kids around living communally as long as they’re contributing in some way (like helping to buy and cook meals, elderly care, doing repairs, computer help, etc.). In fact that used to be the norm throughout human history until around the 20th century when people started forming nuclear families that were individuated from the larger family. This has only increased loneliness and burden. Really good article on it: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/03/the-nuclear-family-was-a-mistake/605536/ Edit: here’s a sort of followup article that goes into how our old “single family home” norms are changing once again to adapt to current modern conditions: https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/09/millennial-housing-communal-living-middle-ages/501467/

Yes, but the adult children in the past would definitely contribute to the household. It wouldn't be called "rent" but you would not expect your parents to pay for your life while you saved.

My view on this, is you should do something for your parents, not you personally or them, but adult kids in general. Things aren't as easy physically for me as when I was young, so when my kids move in time to time, I don't insist they make contribution financially, but through physical labor. If the task is out of the ordinary, I'll give them cash for their work, just like I would a contractor. Day to day cleanup, and running around to get groceries, or other items is expected, especially when all of my bills increase when they move in. It's still our house as well, so as long as they live here, they follow our rules, relaxed rules obviously, but there are still rules. I'll give an example, of how I do things. I've been letting my niece use our Jeep, but one of the expectations is she assists me on working on it, she just learned how to change coils, sparkplugs, and wires. I figure it is forcing her to learn how to maintain a vehicle, and she gets a vehicle to drive around that is fully insured.

If an adult child still lives with parents or moves back in with parents AND they’re employed. Yes, they should pay rent. It will cost the parents for them to live there. More in water, electric, heat, food. If not paying rent I would hope they would contribute to food and work around the house. I certainly wouldn’t charge a 17yo. I would charge an adult child that had to move back home due to loss of job, or going through a disaster. But one saying, ‘hey, I want to save money’ it wouldn’t be terrible if the parent was struggling to ask for rent or help.

Not unusual if they’re that old. My parents policy was that if you’re in school you don’t have to pay them rent.

It depends entirely on the situation. In most cases I think it's appropriate for children to help out financially once they're no longer in college or any other type of education and they have a job. That said, if you've got the means as parents to help your children out, I can totally understand wanting to do that for your children as well. 

I think my parents were very fair about this topic. In my home, once you had graduated High School, if you were not in college, you paid rent. It sounds a bit harsh, but it was their way of letting me know if I wasn't in school I better have a job. I wasn't welcome to just sit around as an adult in their house mooching off of them. My sister and I went to college so it was never an issue for us, but I would never fault them for it. I moved back briefly between switching Universities (like a few months) and just had a part time job. They never charged me anything, because they saw I was saving up my money for the next leg of my education. It's hard nowadays to afford apartments and house rentals etc. I understand that very well, but having adult children move back in with you for prolonged amounts of time without even helping pay for groceries/cleaning supplies or doing their share of housework is unacceptable.

Not unusual to start charging ‘rent’ when they start working (usually around 15/16 At 30 they should be considered a tenant.

30 years old is a grown ass man. Living rent free in your parents house as an adult for the sole purpose of not paying rent is parasitic behaviour. Even worse is to bring additional people in and expect a free ride. If you're a kid that just graduated high school and/or pursuing post secondary, then most parents would support their child. I do find this varies wildly depending on what culture you originate from though.

What world is Joe living in? If Adam had to live on his own, he would have to pay rent and would be even further behind on saving for a house. His mother IS saving him money, but not at the cost of her own financial health by adding four additional people to the house for free.

Yes, it's normal. I would assume always below market value. Your other friend is speaking from a place of privilege.

The normal thing was if we were going to school, we didn’t pay rent - once we were working, and still living with parents, some payment would be expected, although below market rate. Somebody working full time while saving up for a specific school program might have rent forgiven. If we were living with parents because something had gone wrong, that would be a different situation and would be case to case depending on wages and the financial situation of both parties.

If they can afford to contribute and able to work, they ought to contribute.

If they’re earning, then they’re paying. Fine, below market rate (I’m not looking to make a profit out of them!), but at a rate that covers the extra costs of them living there. They should also contribute heavily towards the chores, which will also increase with them living there. In your friend’s case though, it sounds like they’re occupying a space that might otherwise be market let? In which case any discount she gives them could justifiably be less than if they were in the home proper - she’s losing income by them being there.

i was a long time renter. just changed careers. having a hard time finding a house in my price range. im 34 and my folks said i can stay with them for a year or until i find a place. theyre awesome. it really just depends on everyones situation. every situation is different. its not ideal, but ive had a lot go down over the last year, so this little boost is extremely helpful.

Not odd to charge rent especially if they’ve returned to the nest. Parent may need the money or just do it to keep them from freeloading. Can always return the money when they move out.

It sounds like Adam and Joe are speaking about 2 entirely different scenarios. Adam and his family are in a mother daughter. If I am correct that is basically like a second house or unit that is attached to the main one. So in this case Adam is using a space that his mother could have otherwise used as a source of rental income. I think in this case paying rent is appropriate, and seems that Adam has no issue with it. Joe, on the other hand, is likely referring to a situation where the son/ daughter is moving back into the house they grew up in. The parent is not losing out on otherwise potential rental income in this case. I think in such a case, not paying rent is appropriate. Ultimately, what is or isn't appropriate comes down to what the parties in question agree too. That's all.

My parents started charging us rent once we got a full time job. Below market rate and set at 10% of gross salary.

Times have changed and although western culture has for at least the last several decades (primarily after WW2, 1950s / 1960s onwards) placed a premium on financial and social independence, the housing crisis is shifting this culture. Now the right answer depends on multicultural influences (of which Western countries have a lot of), situational and personal factors and basically who needs the money more. If the parent/s need it more then the adult child should help out financially. If the adult child needs it more to save for property then parent/s should assist with accommodation if it doesn’t make much difference to them.

Depends on the type of family and race. Asian children live with their parents well over 30 or until they get married and they don't pay rent at all.

It depends. Are you british or American? Charge em. If your anyone else, don't or enter into an agreement with one another

They are an adult - take responsability for their lives (Joe) and don't mooch of your elderly parents. Rent is normal and should be expected.

If your over thirty and living at.home indefinitely pay rent!!

It depends. Teen/young adult? Nah, theyve barely gotten a chance to get into a career, cut some slack. 30+ year old? Thats plenty of time to have gotten into a career, unless youve come across hard times, which is fair. When i have kids, its gonna be like, "As long as your trying/working towards something." Working, in school, applying for jobs, etc. Or if theyre in a tough position and are trying to get out of it, then duh. If theyre not trying, and are just there, at minimum they gotta help out with chores and stuff. But if they still arent making progress towards independence for quite some time, then i would start charging. Not full market rates, but something to force/motivate the kid to get out there and make some kind of money.

Yes they should. Using my appliances, my lights, my carpet, my heating, and my internet, probably. If you are working, then I expect a contribution. Not just financial, but also to empty dishwasher/cook dinner occasionally. If you are learning, then I expect stuff around the house to be done, if you are working part time, and studying, then I also expect you to make a contribution. My parents charged us all board, and expected us to do stuff around the house - dishwasher/clean up/do own washing/mow lawns/take bins out. Didn't hurt me, and I was in my 20s when I started doing this.

My parents charged me 10% of my income when I was working full time. I'm certain I cost more than I paid, and dad never asked twice, if I didn't pay one week, it wasn't an issue, as most 'you can't do this when you move out' When I did move out, he transferred everything I'd paid him into my bank account. I'm grateful for the lesson and the gesture.

What do you mean moved into a mother daughter above mother??

If they are not at college/university and living in the family home after 18, then obviously yes, even if it’s just a few dollars a week. It is important to encourage responsibility and accountability.

It's perfectly possible to pay rent to your parents and save for a house. Unless you're spending so much on trivial stuff you don't need.

Why wouldn't one charge their adult children rent? They are now adults and if they want to live in the household they have to contribute their share. They should be treated as adults & roommates, contribute to chores, be able to have guests over (and overnight), and so forth. If they are having a crisis or some other issue where they need support, that's a different story.

I paid my mom rent from 24-34. Started at $1000 a month and by the time I moved out my gf and I paid $2500 a month. At 34 I had finally saved up for a down payment to buy a house.

I've paid my parents one way or another every time I've lived with them as a working adult. Usually a bill or two, a specific amount, or work around the house. I think it's pretty reasonable for those who are able to contribute to maintaining their household.

If you are in your 30s? Yes they should charge rent, if anything, pay your mom ABOVE market rate because you should be doing them a favor, they are your family.

I haven't charged my kids rent. I ask for contributions to the utilities, groceries, and that they pick up after themselves. They even have the option to put a house on our land. So the youngest is finishing a tiny home and does contribute to utilities and such.

It's not unheard of but I think it's getting less common since it's near impossible to buy a 1st home right now. Plus the job market seems to be pretty unstable year to year. If someone is being charged rent by their parents, I would take it as a message by the parents that it's a temporary thing and they really want you to move out as soon as you can.

I fully intend to charge my child reduced rent when they join the workforce. Reason #1). They don’t intend to move out due to the current economy. Reason #2). It’s just me and them and I will be able to put the majority of what they pay me into a savings account and gift it to them if they change their mind. Reason #3). It is great practice for the real world and puts us on a more equal footing for decisions regarding the home. Seeing the home as their investment helps reach them the value of the money.

My parents have an apartment that they currently rent out to strangers. If I needed to live there they would not renew the lease and I could move in, but I would pay rent (which is already below market). If I moved into their unit it would be because something went terribly, terribly wrong in my life, and they would not charge me. I wouldn't charge my kids rent, unless I felt like living rent free as an adult was somehow holding my kid back.

Depends on the situation. Is he just living there, or is he having a hard time In life? You know.

It depends on the financial situation of everyone involved.

If they are paying you rent then why are they even living there?

You guys are insane. I guess it is a US/Europe thing. My parents would never ever charge me rent. If I am ever in a bad spot, I know I can always crash at their place, no questions asked.

I wouldn't charge my young adult children while in college or after college while they get established. If we had part of the house available to one of them and their families in the future, and they wanted to move in, I imagine we would charge them rent, but nothing exorbitant.

No

If they are saving money for a house and I did not NEED the rent money, I say continue living rent free until you can buy a nice house. If they seem content just living with me forever, pony up some rent money.

As someone who lived with my parents until 27 -- as long as parents + kid are happy with the arrangement, it's no one else's business whether they pay or not. My parents personally didn't charge me, they make a shit ton of money so don't need mine. It'd be a different story if my income was useful/needed. I think it's great if a parent can support their child rent-free, but definitely not a requirement. There were plenty of people who felt like they had to chime in on my living situation though when I was with them. The entire reason I lived there was because they offered for me to stay, rent free, while I was in grad school. I wouldn't have been upset if they wanted to charge rent (although realistically I would have then moved out) but I feel like they'd have the right to charge rent if they wanted to. My parents have always had the rule past 18 that you can stay for free as long as you are working or in school. You can't just be a lazy bum around the house but they're happy to help us get into a better position by supporting us (so we all stayed during school and then most for a few years after while we got full time jobs and started to save up enough to afford to move out). I know if I needed to they'd welcome me back right now if I fell on rough times and needed a place to land, but I also can acknowledge not everyone can offer that financial stability. I know many people who stay with their parents or move back in because the parents need their support, be it financial, physical, etc. ETA of course my parents rule of work/school is with the expectation we are all capable of doing one, of course if a disability popped up preventing work or whatnot they'd still be supportive. Same for my siblings who were still trying to get jobs after college. They could be out of work and stay for free because they're trying to find jobs. They just didn't want to enable the sort of "wasting away doing nothing" type not working

I think it all depends on the scenario. If the parent needs the help to stay where they are and the kid is OK with it, I don't see an issue. If money is no issue, maybe don't charge your kid rent.

If it had been me in my mother's house, she'd've charged a nominal rent, and asked me to chip in for utilities and groceries, but she told me her plan would be to bank the rent and give it back to me later, to make moving out again easier. But I got married, and am still married, and honestly would ask other relatives if it came to that.

He can help pay for the house that will one day, be his.

When I dropped out of Uni cause I hated one of the professors that I would have had to interact a lot with and I managed to land a decent job I like I lived at home like half a year? or so until I got an apartment in town. They didn't charge me rent, though I did pick up food tabs occasionally. Last month before I moved in my current apartment I instead lived with my older sister since it was in walking distance of the apartment so that made it easier for me to fix it up, she didn't ask for anything at all since it was just for a month roughly. Though we did wager take out payments on street fighter 1v1s. To me it would really depend. Temporary need a home due to renovations? Break ups? Or whatever reason? No rent. It isn't a temporary thing? Rent or otherwise contribute to the household.

I would charge my children rent if they weren’t in school or needed help. Then I would take the rent money and invest it for them so that way they’ll get it back plus more when they’re ready.

My 24 year old still lives at home. I don't charge him rent or any set amount, but he does help a lot with groceries. The average amount he helps with probably comes to more than what a fair rent would be anyway.

I think it depends on the family, people’s finances, and the situation at hand. If the parents can’t afford to house the kid, or they don’t have the space, then all bets are off. However: If someone just got out of a halfway house, is ill, getting back their feet, or is actually taking care of the parents - then no rent. If you are filthy rich, and your kid is living paycheck-to-paycheck - no rent. Some people want their kids to stick around until they (the kids) marry off or want to live in multi-generational housing - no rent. I guess if you have some kid who is a lump and won’t do anything, it may light a fire under their ass. I could see it being appropriate if you are trying to give someone a practice-run at rent, where there are no penalties, etc. I’ve also heard of parents collecting rent, and putting it into an account for later. Also - I’m considering my opinions based on the assumption that the kid is helping with cleaning, yardwork, or cooking as much as they are able. ETA: There are a lot of “legitimate” reasons for someone in their 30s to be in a tight spot. We all know that paychecks aren’t covering housing, healthcare is a money pit, college is a money pit, aaaaand there’s inflation. For me, if the kid had enough money for rent, then I would save it in an account for them for when they move out.

I think if someone wants to charge rent from another adult to live in their property, they can do so. It's completely up to them. Personally, when my kids are 18+ I will let them live with me rent free if they are going to college/trade school. And if they go straight to working I will charge them rent but not a lot (cover expenses like food and bills). But someone else might not charge anything, someone else might kick them out. Everything is usual, it's whatever the owner of the property wants to do

Eh... The way I grew up, mother told us she would never charge rent if we had to ever go back to living at home as adults. Rent was ultimately her responsibility. She would just ask in return (what I consider basic respect): Contributing to the household by keeping food in it, taking turns with cooking, cleaning up after yourself, doing daily chores, etc. She would want us to save the rest of the money or whatever would have been considered "rent" for ourselves so we could get back on our feet faster.

Fair points for sure. I am seeing a lot of distinction between Seperate unit and childhood bedroom . And it’s a really interesting divide.

Up to people to decide. If I have the means when my kids are in their 20s, I’ll charge them rent and save it for them for when they want to buy. Get them in the habit of having a monthly payment while saving for a house.

There is no right or wrong answer.

From when I was 16 up until 25 when I moved out, I paid my mum money for living with her. it wasn't full rent, but enough to cover my portion of bills so I wasn't fully leeching off her. It's not unfair. But also if you're in your 30s, you can definitely contribute something to bills, and still save for a house. especially if you have a job.

I charge my 20 year old daughter enough to cover groceries and her share of the power bill, but that's it. I'm not trying to make a profit or have her pay off my mortgage.

Im 30 and I pay rent. A bit more than I think is fair but nothing too horrific. I also help out with the chores. We're more like housemates since I'm treated as an adult with my own life. I'd love to live for free but I don't think this system is inherently wrong. If I was in my early 20's or had /just/ turned 18, I'd feel differently. I've had lots of time to get my life together somewhat moved and moved back in half a dozen times. I think at this point it's valid to ask for financial assistance. (Assuming they have a job) Be fair about the amount. Allow them space to save and try to move out when they're able. Don't keep them broke. That's how I feel about it.

I think it’s completely individual. Whatever feels right for you is the right thing to do. If your child made many efforts to get in their feet, but is struggling, I think allowing them to get on top of life and living rent free at home for a bit would be extremely helpful no matter the age. I think we are living in a strange world these days, rent is in general crazy high and saving up for a home is signing you up for a life-long debt. When my parents grew up in the 80s they could live off one wage and look after kids. Here in Sydney rent crisis went through the roof after covid and I worked as a manager full-time and still had to live in a flat share, because even a small one bedroom studio apartment would cost me over 50-60% of my income. And I know if a lot of people in the same situation, school teachers moved back into flat shares in their 30s and even 40s, a lady in her 50s even with her own wellness business who always lived comfortably with it. We had so many businesses close and I personally had to look for second jobs. No chance to save and build up a life in a sustainable way. And you’re constantly on the grind of just covering living expenses. I personally have my family overseas, so I’m constantly working myself into a burnout when I know I could build a better life if I had a moment to focus on that rather working myself off 50-60h / week just for living expenses. If the person in question uses the time at home in a productive way e.g. for a course that would set them up for a job that can provide an income to cover expenses and have some money to put aside, you could talk about an action plan and monitor if the person is doing that. If the person in question is just chilling and not putting in the work, then perhaps talking about rent makes sense. Another point is though - would you personally need the money yourself to cover your own expenses, would you sacrifice your own living situation in a negative way, or would the living situation together be nice for both of you? I think it’s really nothing anyone should judge, except the people involved and what feels good for them.

I was charged like $50 a fortnight from when I got a job at 16. It was to help teach me financial responsibilities. At one point me and hubby moved in with his parents. It's like two houses on top of each other. They charged us like $500 a month plus electricity. Still nothing close to what we would've been paying for rent in an actual rental. My friends brothers lived at home for ages and their parents never charged them any rent... The parents now have no money and really could've used the help especially considering their mum is disabled and get very minimal financial assistance and the dad has been in and pit of hospital for a few months.

I started paying my mother rent (an amount less compared to living out of home) at the age of 16 and took on one of the household utilities at 18. I never thought anything of it because my mother worked 3 jobs and was still struggling so it seemed fair. I feel a 30 year old should definitely be paying to live wherever they are. Can’t believe it is even an argument.

Depends. My three brothers live at home. Two of them pay rent the other does not. The two bros that pay rent help financially but they do not help or engage with the rest of the family in any other way for the most part. The bro that doesn't pay rent is really engaged with the family and community overall, he helps with errands and labour around the house. He helps my dad deal with technology and communicates with vendors(my dad is not fluent in english). I would say in a lot of ways my bro who doesn't pay rent does a lot more for his family than the bros who pay rent. In my opinion, rent isn't the only way to help, if a parents' child is a burden on them and also isn't paying rent, that's pretty shitty of the kids and the parents might also be enabling them. If the kids help in other ways that isn't financial and isn't burdening their parents or better yet, improving the family bond, I don't think it's an issue at all.

Charge them full market rate 100%

In Australia, the cost of living is so high that even people in professional occupations are moving back home in an effort to try and save a deposit for a house or pay off debts. I think if your parents can comfortably house you without major expense, you shouldn't have to pay rent. This will then enable you to get ahead and eventually move out into a stable situation of your own. I speak of accomodation only - I would fully expect them to pay their way re: utility expenses and food etc.

Normal, I paid rent to my parents when I was in my 20's. If you are able to bring in an income you should support the family household.

I’m 18 and pay a percentage of my wage to my parents as rent. I only pay 30% every paycheque so then if I don’t end up working or my pay isn’t the normal amount I’m not expected to pay a set amount if that makes sense? I’d much rather pay the 30% than spend all of my pay on living expenses, and it’s nice to help my parents out a bit because it does mean that they can splurge on certain food items that we all like and otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford.

I paid rent when I was 17 lol

Nope

When I was a teenager, with a job, living at home my parents didn’t charge me rent. I think that would have been horrible. But as an adult, with a family no less, that is a shared living situation and you should of course pay your way.

I charge my kids board when they start working as adults. It is a small amount but I want them to get used to understanding that paying for accommodation is a necessary part of life. I think in your 30’s it’s very dependent on the situation and if it’s long term or not.

Once I had a full time job, mum and dad asked me to contribute to the household. Completely fair. I was 19 at the time and it was a lot cheaper than renting (intentionally). I moved out about 6 months later because work relocated me, but never thought their request for rent was unfair - if anything it prepared me to put my big person pants on and behave like an adult.

I paid rent to my dad when I was 18, $80AUD a week to my Dad around 2013, seemed normal to me

Haha. My wife and I both had boomer parents, she was out of home and independant and 16, I was out at 17.  Latch key kids.

Charging a 17 year old is way different from a 30 year old. And yes the 30 year old should still be charged rent even more since it’s 1k under market. Otherwise what’s the incentive for each party. The mom has bills just like everyone else. She is helping out.

I’ve been lucky in that my folks have never charged me rent. I’ve moved in on multiple occasions for various reasons short term and every time they are happy to have me. When I’m there I make sure I cook for them often, clean, pay some of the bills and do general household upkeep. All from my own pocket and I reason that what ever money I spend on them is money saved for them. I would happily pay them rent but they always avoid the topic so I just do what I can to help out while I’m there.

It depends. If I was able to live in a family members house without paying rent I would buy a house ASAP and be out of there. Paying the rent would drag out the bigger PITA of me being in the way. Depends on means of both parties and circumstances of the renting.

17-no rent. Especially if they're studying. In their 30s? Absolutely some kind of rent. How will they afford a mortgage if they can't be disciplined enough to be able to pay some kind of rent?

I’m nearly 27 and my parents charge me board, car and health insurance every week. It’s normal.

It's bad to charge them market rate. That is pure extortion IMO. If you do that then they owe you nothing. Not even to help you out around the house. They have an equal right to privacy and space at that point. Which i'm sure won't happen at all. When i was out of school and studying, rent was free, when i was not studying and working. Rent was $50 a week. This was back in 2015. $50 - $100 a week is completely fair IMO. Pays for bills and utilities. If said person in their 30's is trying to save for a home then IMO it would be wise to charge as little rent as possible. Get them saving more and out of the house faster. The amount charged should depend on the priorities of the individual. Studying? No rent. Working but living at home but no intention to buy a home? Higher rent but not market rate. Working but saving to buy a home? Enough to cover a fair portion of the bills and thats it.

I was charged rental soon as I turned 18. I had actually moved out, but had to move back because deadbeat abusive boyfriend couldn't get a job.

My folks made me pay board soon as I hit 18. It wasn't much mind you, like $50/week.

$5.00 a week when I first started work (I’m old but it was only a nominal amount even then) and I have to admit, my mother had usually given it back to me end of the week because I was always broke. Moved out of home at 20 & had to work it out then.

I live with a parent and I pay my own way. She couldn't afford this place without me and I couldn't afford a place on my own and I am living with someone who has my best interests at heart.

My son will be 29 in September and he pays us rent.

If you want them to stay with you because they can never afford to move out then yes, charge rent.

My parents’ rule was - if I am studying then no rent to pay. But if working, I paid rent.

I paid "board" when I started making money around 15. I learned young life ain't a free ride. If a 30 year old thinks they can live rent free that's just ridiculous