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Temporary_Alfalfa489

"Talk to me Goose" "Brace yourself, launching ASAT in 3..2..1" "GOOSE WHAT THE FU-" *Missile roars* >RIP Pete Mitchell "Was a real chad"-- Cdr. Mike Metcalf


simonwales

*God, he loved flying with you, Maverick...*


Sancatichas

Fuck it, the US should mount that whole Spinlaunch thing to multiple B2s side to side and use it to fire polished rocks to enemy satellites RRRRAAAAGGHHH


Superfissile

Use the spinlaunch as propellers for the ac130. Then you can launch them up or down.


Sancatichas

I am an engineer and this is viable


MajorDakka

Back in the early 2000s, we called it the DREAD weapon system https://defensereview.com/world-exclusive-video-dread-weapon-system-devastating-jam-proof-and-silent/


Sancatichas

lmao why am i even surprised


Unistrut

Back in the 1860s we called it the [Winans Steam Gun](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winans_Steam_Gun).


Kiiaru

Lmao golfball ammo


Advanced-Budget779

If only spinlaunch was credible…


Sancatichas

Balearic tribesmen proved the concept long ago, just hire one of them if it doesnt work


Advanced-Budget779

Fine, i‘ll allow it.


StorageBig2557

Rendezook 2.0


RookTheGamer

It clearly requires the canopy to be open for launch. The pilot shoulder launched it.


torturousvacuum

The WSO *IS* the anti-sat missile.


-TheWill-

When you dont have ammo, you are the ammo type deal then?


Temporary_Alfalfa489

The punishments they give dissenting Vatniks for criticizing glorious Russian fighter jet...... >!(/s)!<


-TheWill-

"Hey Ivan, your job today is to take down that new imperialistic satelite with the help of our new cheap and affordable amunition!" "But Igor....I dont see any missiles, TOWs or such here?" "Yeah....About that..."


Temporary_Alfalfa489

"Ivan.....you ARE the missile" *awkward silence* "Understandable, have a great life"


okram2k

During the 9/11 attacks the air national guard scrambled two f-16s into the air with no armaments. If flight 93 hadn't gone down from the passengers retaking the plane the fighters were preparing to ram it to take it out of the sky. F-16 guided missile.


emu_fake

It’s FOX 5 obviously


Temporary_Alfalfa489

This is a real article. On the real internet. Yes, someone was high enough to believe it and actually write an entire blogpost on it. Sauce: [https://malaysiamilitarypower.blogspot.com/2012/02/malaysia-tested-precision-accurate.html](https://malaysiamilitarypower.blogspot.com/2012/02/malaysia-tested-precision-accurate.html)


ChatGTR

> https://malaysiamilitarypower.blogspot.com/2012/02/malaysia-tested-precision-accurate.html What a paragraph. >This a direct action from Selangor Mentri Besar Tan Sri Abdul Khalid Ibrahim claimed Wednesday that there is an attempt by certain quarters to sabotage the selangor state government over rubbish problems in housing areas. "A scenario, for instance, when the local authorities come and clear the afflicted area of rubbish; within a few hours this missile would fell right on top the collection centre. Which is why it appear as if we never take out any rubish!!" In order to complete an ASAT test before an expected cabinet ban took effect , the KEMENTAH determined to use the existing neighbour astrophysics satellite as a target, Just for shit and gigles.


throwawayjaydawg

I’ve got the flu and I’m all hopped up on cough medicine, but that doesn’t make a lick of sense to me.


CoolHandSpouk

Dont worry buddy, it doesn't make sense to the rest of us either. Hope you feel better soon. 


AwkwardSploosh

I'm recovering today as well. Something has been going around for the past few days and it's gnarly.


Temporary_Alfalfa489

Fuck the article Your username intrigues me more Are you a real Nissan Skyline GT-R R34 and can I chat with you? Is Nissan Intelligence real?


PM_ME_UR_DRAG_CURVE

If Nissan Intelligence is real, how would you explain the Renault merge and the resulting Big Altima Energy?


Temporary_Alfalfa489

Well that's what you get when you have, in essence, [an overly popular thief as your CEO](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Ghosn#)


Snoid_

Ahhh, I fondly remember my first stroke.


Flawlessnessx2

Malay rubbish missile 😳 tactically deploys rubbish in low income housing areas from space???


CaliyeMydiola

Its clearly a joke, like the name of the missile is called asam like bruh


seatux

Tan Sri Abdul Khalid Ibrahim --> he died some years ago too.


nayaketo

what is his name a combination chinese, indian/sanskrit, and arabic names? was the guy a result of orgy or something?


seatux

Tan Sri -> Malaysian Federal title, second highest after Tun. Abdul Khalid --> Given name, usually addressed in person as just Khalid, or Tan Sri Khalid in polite settings. Ibrahim - Father's name. In official documentation, its usually written bin Ibrahim, (son of Ibrahim) Binti is daughter of. This part of the name is used to tell apart different Khalids if exists in a situation. Malay Muslim and Indians are usually addressed in their given name and not surnames. Only the Chinese have family/clan names and are addressed with their surnames.


No_0ts96

It could either be sour or stinky armpits


livingonminimumwage

It is some sort of a 'joke' post..if you explore the blogspot there are some other 'ridiculous' posts as well. For example, [this unrealistic looking tank](https://malaysiamilitarypower.blogspot.com/2011/04/bapak-segala-tank-5000-bst5000-under.html?m=1)


beepatr

So they're a MalayNCD?


fanfanye

Ts: Bapak(Father) Segala(of all) Tank


alexsdu

"PALAT ASAM" 🤣🤣🤣 Clearly this is a satirical news. I'm from Malaysia


Pyro_raptor841

At least whoever made that image found a rather obscure missile to use. It's a US Navy AIM-95 Agile.


AlphaMarker48

You could cite that source for a college paper, if you had an assignment that had a relevant topic. If I can get away with citing Wikipedia for certain assignments, you could definitely get away with citing THAT!


topazchip

A WWII "schräge musik" mount, but noncredible.


Yeetlahoma

So what you are saying is that ejection seats are just Schräge-Kamikaze-Musik?


topazchip

As technological complexity increases, arbitrary differences between "tool" and "weapon" decrease to irrelevancy.


Bubbly_Taro

Just do a fly-by shooting with a handgun.


Temporary_Alfalfa489

Not just any handgun though, a 1911


MateWrapper

I didn't even read this comment and I was already thinking about a 1911


SomeGuyNamedPaul

Really, what else are you going to use to fire at another plane? I can literally think of nothing else.


Undernown

No joke, reading a Sci-Fi book right now and in the middle of a space combat chapter. Their side-arms are 1911 variants from the 2160`s. As a fun side note their main weapon is a full-auto assault rifle that's setup for 20 gauge flechette rounds. And they somehow claim it wouldn't damage the interior of a spaceship.


SamtheCossack

Are they launching a missile out of the WSO seat?


TheGuhAR

Who needs them anyways


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TroublesomeStepBro

Huh, I didn’t know the mods worked in the Malaysian Defense Ministry.


GiantCake00

Just because you guys are far behind on our tech doesn't mean it's crazy propaganda. Our 3000 aircraft-shoulder-fired anti-satellite missiles will bring Singapore to its knees 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾


SliceIka

🇸🇬👬🇲🇾


Stalker_Medic

Good response


K_K_Rokossovsky

This is some Pakistan Next Superpower shit.


blorgcumber

Abu Hajaar launched the missile. “Good job but you roasted us too”


Tactical_Moonstone

"Watch the backblast, you idiot." - Sun Tzu


CoolHandSpouk

There's a name I haven't heard in a bit. 


Pyro_raptor841

YOO THEY PHOTOSHOPPED IN MY FAVORITE MISSILE!! Enter: AIM-95 Agile, the US Navy's R-73 circa 1977. Featuring -+165 degrees off-boresight targeting, a motor roughly comparable to an AIM-7F, no control fins, and thrust vectoring, this missile's extremely promising development was dropped in favor of the same god-damned missile design from the 50's with a newer seeker. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/AIM-95_Agile


ZackM_BI

Truly non-credible


Balkan_Wallet_Thief

Holy fuck they’re really bringing the PALATASM to bear if’s so over bros


THE_REAPER_18

3000 vls for fighter jets


hx87

What if Schräge Musik, but with missiles? -- some Malaysian blogger


Fandango_Jones

***ACE Combat intensifies***


esdaniel

Ace combat 7 , skies known


Owl_lamington

That’s not even an RMAF camo.


loserguy-88

This is like somebody reposting an article from The Onion and forwarding it to all their friends. [https://pictr.com/images/2024/03/19/EtGTz5.png](https://pictr.com/images/2024/03/19/EtGTz5.png)


RoughHornet587

Schräge Musik ASM VLS .


jackfirecracker

In Malaysia? I assume kratom, especially with Indonesian politics


Vanilla_Ice_Best_Boi

Am from Malaysia. I have no idea, I'm a pre-university student.


Nomad_moose

I bet if they sell whatever they’re smoking to American drug users, they could probably afford the military their propagandists have wet dreams about…


Temporary_Alfalfa489

War on Drugs--- Uncle Roger Edition Objective-- eliminate the white powder (MSG) trade


thepromisedgland

Kratom


ErrantAlgae

okay so do throw me into aviation fuel if I am wrong but that missile looks like a fucking Agile, it had the spiny thing on the lower part, how the fuck did they get old tech from the 70s-80s, it even predates the SRAAM


Stalker_Medic

Malaysian defence innovation weed hits different


Mission-Amphibian-25

As a Malaysian,i can confirm this is biased asf🗿👍🏻


GroceryOtherwise7995

We're high on a lot of things, just not ~~common sense~~ military knowledge


SecantDecant

Get higher on exchange rate thx. Daddy wants a cheap garmin


SlavCat09

The pilot has no cockpit canopy. THE PILOT HAS NO COCKPIT CANOPY


LethalDosageTF

Ah, the Palatasm


ForgedIronMadeIt

Imagine the poor sod who has to fix the paint after that or you know, fix the fuselage


Sealedwolf

* takes a bong hit * You know, they might be onto something. * Takes another hit * What happens if a fighter is chased by a bandit? All the missiles point forward, they can't shoot back. Give the WSO a MANPAD, so he can open the canopy, stand up and pop that SoB. In fact, let's make that the main armament of my new fighter, the F-36 'Defiant'


Legitimate-Theme2501

I tested my own Precision Accurate Light Active Targeting Anti Satellite Missile myself about 5 mins ago. I was pissing in the toilet but I can call it whatever I want.


hillsfar

That’s their new missile in action! See, it is so precise and accurate, it can penetrate and snip the bollocks off the weapons systems operator, thereby castrating the plane’s war fighting capabilities. And, it is humane, as it does not kill the the crew!


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ProxyDragon42

Why does Malaysia even need an anti Satellite weapon?


JackPembroke

The lowest orbiting satellite is 104 miles above the surface of the earth