T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

In case this story gets deleted/removed: 18 years ago (Not about, trust me, I know this one to the date) I was over Dad's house and I needed a wrench, and coming from a long line of mechanics, I knew he's have one available as I didn't have my kit in my car, so I asked to borrow one. Dad of course said yes, handed me the mechanic's tool box, and just out of habit, I opened it and immediately noticed that a Craftman's 7/16, ratchet-end wrench was missing. Again, I come from a LONG line of mechanics; every tool has its place, be it in a drawer, box or outlined on a peg board, and I thought it was weird that Dad lost a wrench out of the spare / house tool kit. "You're missing a 7/16." I pointed out, showing him the missing slot. Now Dad, being Dad, just had to bust on me a bit, so looking me dead in the eyes and beaming a huge smile he responded: "It was there when I gave it to you." Mind you, I hadn't left the kitchen. I hadn't so much as shifted my FEET. I knew he was lying, he knew he was lying, but it had been ingrained in me since childhood that losing a tool is a death sentence. Now, I knew he was busting my balls and I let it go; but from that day forward, anytime we needed something, he'd make a comment like "Sure wish I had that 7/16th wrench that Coyote lost." or "You know what would fix it? That missing 7/16th wrench." This went on for MONTHS. So one day, he made the usual "tease me for losing a tool" comment and I warned him. I looked him in the eyes and said: "Say it ONE more time old man, and you're going to get that wrench every Birthday, Father's Day and Christmas for the rest of your natural life." Few hours passed, I asked him to hand me a tool and he said: "I can't you lost it, remember?" I laughed, and played it off -but it was on...and that was 18 years ago. Today, being Father's day, he just received his 52nd craftsman's ratchet-end, 7/16th wrench. Since that day, he's tried telling me that he knows that I didn't lose it, (I knew that already) that I don't need to buy it (Oh, I fucking DO.), and he's occasionally tried to say it was a different size or item to get a different present, but we both know that's not happening. They're everywhere. Every coffee can, junk drawer, cabinet, tool box, peg board or spare nail in the house and garage contains a Craftsman's 7/16 ratchet end wrench. You know how they say you're never more than 8 feet from a spider? Well in Dad's world, you're never more the 7 feet from a Craftsman's 7/16 ratchet end wrench, because there are at least two in his truck at this point as well. When will it end? When the old bastard dies. The last wrench will go in his cold, dead hand so he can tighten bolts in hell, because I warned him. Goddamnit. I warned him. Happy Father's Day to all of you with weird traditions, jokes and relationships with the man who made you who you are today. And if you need a wrench, hit me up - I know a guy. TL:DR - Dad teased me about losing a tool that he lost, and I've replaced it as of today, 52 times. ** Update #53: https://imgur.com/a/4qOGTbv ** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*


lollipop-guildmaster

This is exactly the sort of quality, low-stakes content I come here for. Well done.


GratifiedViewer

Oh absolutely. There’s no real drama, no danger, just pure pettiness.


ButWhyWolf

That's not even pettiness, that's love.


Clocktopu5

It's love through pettiness and it is magical


LittleWildLee

Same here. I love this EXCEPT I don’t understand the original joke. Can you explain it like I’m five? Why would it be funny for the dad to tease the son about losing the wrench to begin with? If the son truly had lost the wrench, especially as a child since that would increase the pettiness of the dad’s long held teasing grudge, and then the rest of the story would be perfect and make perfect sense to me. But since the son didn’t lose the wrench… I just don’t get it. Not that any of this matters, just figured I’d ask ;)


lollipop-guildmaster

Dad's giving his kid shit for the sake of giving him shit. Good natured teasing, but like a lot of dads, he didn't so much as toe the line where the joke stopped being funny as leap over it, gazelle-like. My dad has this kind of humor.


tiny_poomonkey

Look dude a joke can turn into harassment. I had to do it at work. Someone accused me of threatening them I was fired. Union investigated and when we were to sit down for a face to face with both union representatives and company he backed down from testifying cuz it was a lie. Got my job back. Less back pay cuz they didn’t tell me he balked but just offered my job and I was naïve enough to believe that was the best outcome. So that’s nothing to do with M. M likes to make the joke of “hey buddy, your my buddy, you gotta protect me from ________” he does it with everyone. It isn’t specifically me. But I cannot get the “he is threatening someone” on my record again. I asked him not to. He kept doing it. So I told him to stop now and forever, he kept doing it. I pulled him aside and my union rep togeather to tell him to stop and why it is for me specifically. He did it again.  I had to go to management about it. That’s harassment. He wasn’t trying, but it was. 


lollipop-guildmaster

That was my point, sis.


tiny_poomonkey

Bro. But yeah. I was giving an example 


lollipop-guildmaster

And I am not a dude.


tiny_poomonkey

In the eternal words of Kel Mitchell:   “I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude. Cuz we all dudes! Hey!” https://youtu.be/FqMODweN8lQ?si=N0l1t-Kx-_C5SvMB


iconocrastinaor

I thought we were all guys


lollipop-guildmaster

Kay, sis.


SlobZombie13

Lighten up is just a reddit thread


tiny_poomonkey

What? It’s an example of a joke that went into harassment. 


UncleCoyote

Except you're wrong? And whoever hurt you so that THIS is how you see the world - a good natured, fun story shared between two family members is "harassment" and "is taken too far", deserves whatever joy you bring to their life...I guess. Seriously. It's all in fun, on both ends. Jesus you people are dark.


The_Ambling_Horror

I mean, my aunt still thinks the harassment my elder cousin tried to kill himself over was “just a joke” and he’s “too sensitive.” Both sides have to agree that it’s all in good fun for it to be all in good fun. It became harassment the instant the kid-that-was asked his Dad to stop it. Fortunately for the Dad, he’s of the “pettily vindictive” variety.


DoILookUnsureToYou

And your case has nothing to do with the father and son thing the OOP has. Yours was harassment, this post is an in joke between family. Learn to differentiate and go to therapy instead of relating everything to your own traumas.


Present-Background56

This is assholery, not humour. And OP's dad is on the receiving end. He's likely too thick to budge, though. His loss.


UncleCoyote

Yeeesh. Who HURT you people? Dad is one of the nicest guys ever to live and would give you the shirt off his back without asking. Sorry your life tainted this for you, but it's really all in fun and love.


tiny_poomonkey

People who think harassment is “just fun” Go fuck yourself


DoILookUnsureToYou

Its between a dad and his kid, not your union case bucko. No one here is talking about your harassment case.


DoILookUnsureToYou

How the fuck would you know? The OOP knows his familial relationships better than you armchair psychologists.


FumiPlays

Son didn't make a single step to lose the wrench. He was handed the box, said something is missing and dad made a joke 'it was there' within couple seconds of each other where there was no physical possibility of losing said wrench.


UncleCoyote

Actual guy here as this was just linked to me: Dad is a mechanic. In a mechanic's household, EVERYTHING has its place. The joke is about four feet. He handed me the tool kit, I out of habit turned, set it on the counter and opened it to make sure everything was there (mechanic raised) and immediately, seconds later, noted the single missing wrench. "It was there when I gave it to you" was impossible. He knew it was gone, I knew it was gone, but now he had someone to jokingly blame it on. Like blaming the fart on a dog that isn't there. But it became a thing, and I turned it back on him.


OurLadyOfCygnets

I used to think that living well was the best revenge, but now I know it's wrenches.


nemaihne

I love this story. This will be something you'll always have as a loving joke.


UncleCoyote

It really is :)


rthrouw1234

My friend, you have brought so much joy into my life. Thank you for doing this to your dad and telling us about it, I aspire to this level of commitment in trolling a parent. :)


UncleCoyote

I am to please - it's one of the many, many silly things we do.


rthrouw1234

>When will it end? When the old bastard dies. The last wrench will go in his cold, dead hand so he can tighten bolts in hell, because I warned him. absolute poetry :)


DoILookUnsureToYou

I'm getting pissed at the comments turning this funny inside joke between you and your dad into a harassment case. What a bunch of losers.


UncleCoyote

Naw, some people are just negative, and maybe they had a horrible relationship with their father. I don't judge and I try not to reciprocate the hate. It's kinda funny in a way: This is the world we live in.


DoILookUnsureToYou

Its just annoying to see lol. They take their anger out on innocent people telling stories on reddit, why not go to a therapist instead?


UncleCoyote

I just see unhappy people who live unhappy, miserable lives who cannot fathom that people can have excitement, fun stories, or good relationships with other people because they themselves are miserable. I feel bad for them mostly.


Loud-Mans-Lover

I know *this* story is meant to be wholesome. Guy clearly loves his dad. The problem is, I had a stepfather who would do this when I was growing up, and would *say* it was a joke... it wasn't. He would grill me over and over again until I was so upset I'd snap, and then he would light up and point fingers at how "terrible" I was, and how he was being calm, there's no WAY he was the irrational one here.  So, some folks might have had that relationship with their parent, and they project. I'll admit I cringed while reading the story at first, but I've done my share of working through my trauma and can see other people's sides to things.  Calling them "losers" is a bit mean, though. They might be going through quite a lot. Trauma sucks, and it's hard to cope when you see some story that triggers bad memories.


MyLife-is-a-diceRoll

after a certain point it became harrassment.


Darrane

I love this story. My dad was an engineer and our garage had a big pegboard where he had drawn outlines of the tools so we all knew exactly where they go. He had old coffee cans labeled with the size/type of nails or screws or whatever was in them. Everything was as neat as a pin. He was great at showing us how to use the tools, as well.


One-Refrigerator4483

I do it to people sometimes, just not remotely to the degree the dad does Do it right and it can be funny at work on a bad day. I dunno.


rthrouw1234

You have to know your audience and you have to be able to sense when they're legitimately over it.


tiny_poomonkey

Which he didn’t do. The father of OP did it after being told not to. Son did it back. Assholes both of them.


rthrouw1234

that's an interesting perspective


tiny_poomonkey

Those who continue after being asked not to are assholes and I will die on this hill. 


rthrouw1234

I mean yeah, technically, but it did allow for an amazing and poetic practical joke / act of trolling


tiny_poomonkey

Act of trolling is harassment. And I would be upset like the father who asked him to stop. “Since that day, he's tried telling me that he knows that I didn't lose it, (I knew that already) that I don't need to buy it (Oh, I fucking DO.), and he's occasionally tried to say it was a different size or item to get a different present, but we both know that's not happening.”


rthrouw1234

wait who is the villain in this story in your opinion, the dad or the son?


systemfrown

Not all dads are like yours apparently, and that’s not to say there’s *necessarily* anything wrong with the ones who might do this. Honestly this all tracks *very* consistent with relationships among family members who are “in the trades”. It’s probably thicker skinned than you’re used to. Anyway I damn near busted a tear laughing at this one.


Deniskitter

One time when we were having family dinner, my husband complimented the meal before everyone else had sat down. His 5 brothers then waited until everyone had sat down, complimented the meal, and then gave him shit for not complimenting the meal. They then proceeded to do that for every damn meal for the next few months. I was ready to pull my hair out. But thankfully they gave it up and moved on. Now it is only every now and again, which again brings back the funny. People need to realize overexposure can absolutely suck the funny out of a joke.


julesk

Thx, cause dad apologized and what a waste of money.


Present-Background56

It's not funny. You've just confirmed that as you had to ask where the joke was. There isn't one. This is power tripping assholery by OP's father who prefers to blame others for his own failings. OP is reminding him of that at every celebration. I feel for OP. What a father to have to live with. Ugh.


UncleCoyote

I can't tell you how wrong you truly are. Dad is one of the most generous, kind, truly "nice" people you'd ever be so lucky as to meet. Not sure who hurt you, but your tint on this is just yours friend. You're absolutely in the wrong.


DoILookUnsureToYou

The OOP has confirmed that its an inside joke between them, get the fuck outta here with your negativity. Your traumas are yours to process, get therapy instead of making everything you see out to be evil.


tiny_poomonkey

Anyone who can think being asked not to do something, is what you do, is an asshole. And they raised an asshole. Just shows how generational trauma continues the trauma. 


DoILookUnsureToYou

Where the hell is the generational trauma in this?


tiny_poomonkey

One does something to the point of harassment, son does it back.  It’s harassment and shows how you don’t respect other boundaries. 


GyratingArthropod481

This may be my favorite Reddit story ever. Especially when he talks about how the wrenches are everywhere now. If Dad wasn't still appreciating the ongoing joke he could have put them out of the way or disposed of them. Good for both of them.


SlobZombie13

The top comment "I know what he's leaving you in the will" is perfect


WholeAd2742

There's petty, and then there's exceptional craftsmanship petty ;P


Foreign_Astronaut

Exceptional Craftsman with a ratchet-end petty.


RichCorinthian

This reminds me of the two brothers-in-law who kept gifting each other the same pair of awful moleskin trousers, each time making them harder and harder to open. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/panting-in-anticipation/


Abby-N0rma1

That was a wild ride. Though it's rather impressive that the pants survived multiple rounds of cutting torches over the years


meguin

My mom did that for a couple of decades with the golf clubs and accessories that she got my dad one year (which he proceeded to never use). She was pretty creative with the wrapping so that he would never know which presents were the golf clubs lol


Entire-Ambition1410

Who made these pants?!


D1rtyL4rry

Did something similar to my dad. One thanksgiving we ran out of sweet tea at the house and he kept picking at my mom about it the rest of the day. So I was like “aight we’ll square you away”(in my head). So for Christmas I purchased a five gallon empty water container like they sell at the front area of some Walmarts, the kind you see used at water coolers. At that point I went to McDonald’s and purchased five gallons worth of their sweet tea. Filled the container up, wrapped it in wrapping paper and even included a little bow on it. He never complained about running out of sweet tea again.


StretPharmacist

My great uncle once shot a deer while hunting. He poked at it a few times to make sure it was dead, then he took out his hunting knife and stabbed it to start gutting it. The thing jumped up and took off with his knife still in it. He wasn't able to track it down. His buddies got him so many knives over the years as presents, most with some sort of wrist strap.


Marki_Cat

OK, I'm equal parts "poor deer!" & "BAHAHHAHA! Wrist strap, lol"


azrael4h

This is gloriously, deliciously petty.  I love it.


SordoCrabs

I hope you found a deal to buy them in bulk.


UncleCoyote

Newp. 3 every June for Father's day, his birthday later in the year and christmas. Depending on how and where I buy them, they average to about 20 bucks.


CoppertopTX

My dad received a total of 68 Craftsman 7/16" ratchet end wrenches; one for every birthday, Father's Day and Christmas gift from January 31, 1970 until he passed away on September 13, 1993. He'd forgotten he'd loaned it to his brother, then accused his oldest son of losing it. As his casket was closed, we even put one in his hand, as well as three of his favorite cigars in his shirt pocket.


legallymyself

Oh I so love this! Fabulous. Well played!


echochilde

Coming from a whole family of contractors, this made me laugh way too hard. Love this.


ravenlyran

🤣🤣🤣🤣 “When will it end? When the old bastard dies. The last wrench will go in his cold, dead hand so he can tighten bolts in hell, because I warned him. Goddamnit. I warned him.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love it!!


Grimlin91

Perfect


Conchobar8

Did he get just the wrench? Or was one of an assortment of gifts?


UncleCoyote

Oh no no. I give him real gifts too. The wrench is just like a bow on the present.


Conchobar8

Then it’s perfect


RoadWellDriven

Sometimes, with good-hearted people, consequences are something you can laugh about in this life and the next.


acidxfx

When they got married, my mom told my dad very explicitly "never get me an appliance for Christmas" Guess what she has gotten every single year for Christmas for the last 38 years.


PrancingRedPony

Now I see the dad dying and going to hell, but with all his wrenches, and he meanders about in hell, loosening all the bolts he can find that should be tight, and tightening all the bolts that should be loose. No cell in hell can hold him because his love imbued wrenches open every door. And he keeps muttering dad jokes while meandering around tightening and loosening bolts, until the devil is so annoyed that he sends good old dad to heaven.


UncleCoyote

I once told him "If I EVER find a loose 7/16 head bolt on anything you own, ever, you're getting MORE."


rthrouw1234

>When will it end? When the old bastard dies. The last wrench will go in his cold, dead hand so he can tighten bolts in hell, because I warned him. So much respect


UncleCoyote

This is what we call "love" in my family :)


rthrouw1234

same! XD


AggressivePossible90

If it's a 10mm that's not a bad thing at all.


Toy_Guy_in_MO

I was going to say, this is fake and I know it's fake simply because it wasn't the 10mm.


qu33fwellington

I have a set of ratchet wrenches and they are my absolute first go to for most projects that do not require a socket or some type of screw head. When OOP’s dad dies he can start sending them to me on the same dates, I will happily take and treasure every one until I lose it at a track day.


mc21

So satisfying 


covenkitchens

I love this.


TripstoWin

As a dad and, as a son who just lost his father a year ago, this brought tears to my eyes.


RobertTheWorldMaker

The apple and the tree are very close, it seems. :D Ball busting traditions like that are the best.


TisCass

As the daughter of a mechanic, I WISH Dads tools were kept in their place. Before we moved, Dad used to get the shits and yeet his tools across the road. Then, every time, he'd have to go over to the footy field and find them. They'd start out in their boxes, then suddenly they were anywhere they got put down. I trend towards similar organisation, I'm adhd so I wo derived if Dad was or he just taught me well lol


crimsonbaby_

'd2xexww|d😀🤮🤮😁😁💓