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This sounds like a good opportunity to explain to them the concept of fraud and how if they did this at 18 years old they would’ve been facing felony charges and prison time. This isn’t something you should be taking lightly, this is a crime. They need to pay you back what they owe you and they should get summer jobs so they can. Bet they won’t do it again.
As someone who works in the legal system, I would just like to point out that they still can get charged as juveniles, and the juvenile probation system is.... A lot to go through.
Welp, I guess they’re going to have summer jobs and/or chores until your savings account is restored. They’re old enough to at least mow lawns, pull weeds, clean pools, custodial work and babysit. Some grocery stores will hire baggers at 14 and some food establishments will hire workers at 14.
and be grounded the whole summer. Their asses wouldn't be going anywhere or talking to anyone. And of course their phones would be gone too and I wouldn't be buying them another one in the future. They wanna fuck around, they will be happy it is me doing the punishing and not the police.
Kids that age are gullible. We call them victims when someone tricks them into sending nudes or having sexual contact. But someone convinces them they have an easy get rich quick method and now they are criminals. Many adults fall for schemes that sound too good to be true. If the kids didn’t think it was illegal then they are victims in this too.
I highly doubt they thought this was legal. If they did, they would not have lied about doing it. They would have been proud to be getting extra money.
Kids never think about legal or illegal. Year’s ago I had a friend’s whose sister worked at a restaurant and would give friends free meals by ringing in and then price adjusting down to basically nothing. None of the kids saw it as stealing, just a way to beat the system.
That’s because it was being given to them. If the person doing the discounting says they didn’t know what they were doing then they are lying. And you underestimate teenagers. Again, if they didn’t think they were doing something wrong then they wouldn’t have lied about it.
In the eyes of the law they are criminals yes. Minors can be charged with having possession of child pornography if caught with another teens nudes. Just because a minor is a minor it doesn't automatically make them a victim.
Please don't recommend dog walking for underage kids! It should really only be done by professionals with insurance. Otherwise, great idea.
*Edit* I didn't see baby sitting honestly, just dog walking and taking care of yards, oops.
Cause dogs can attack and severely injure or kill and babies can't. My neighbor was attacked by a dog that was in a leash, but was able to pull away from handler.
Pretty sure kids injure people, didn’t a like eight year old shoot his teacher? Babysitting isn’t just watching literal babies. Plus what if the kid chokes or has a medical emergency and you aren’t an insured babysitter, then the family sues you for negligence? Both dog watching and babysitting have risks, doesn’t mean a kid can’t do them if they are well educated and supervised when they start out. Heck I know plenty of people that have lost parts of fingers or several toes to lawn mowers, didn’t stop me from starting to mow lawns at 8.
You would think, but in this kinda messed up world we're currently in, the walker can be held liable by the dog owner for letting the bite happen. Of course it's all situational and ever case will be different, but the walker can be found negligent.
Possibly but if the dog walker is uninsured there’s no money to grab. And let’s be honest, people who walk dogs probably dont have big nest eggs to go after. It’s 100% on the owner of the dog and would be covered under their home or renters insurance liability.
Sorry that’s way too soft for me, I was mowing lawns and watching dogs by 8, and babysitting by 12. My parents helped with the dog watching till I was about 10 but if you have health insurance and the people you are pet sitting for have pet insurance it’s just as good as a rover walker. Coddling kids too much because an app exists where people overcharge for pet services and have a major company providing insurance for those services doesn’t compute with me.
You just have to look in the right places:
The Connecticut Department of Education only issues Working Papers for 14 year-olds to work as caddies or in the pro shops of private or municipal golf courses, and for 15 year-olds to work in that capacity or in mercantile/retail environments. Working Papers for 14 and 15 year-olds are not issued under any other circumstances but for the above mentioned.
No working papers are required for the below list of examples of permitted occupations for 14 and 15 year olds.
Agriculture
Street trades (newspaper delivery, shoe shining, baby-sitting)
Hospitals (no food service or laundry)
Convalescent homes (no food service or laundry)
Hotels and motels (no food service or laundry)
Banks
Insurance companies
Professional offices (lawyers, CPAs)
Municipalities (library attendants, recreation departments)
Acting
Household chores for private homeowners (yard work)
Licensed summer camps
If I understand it right (ianal) it's an official at the kids school who signs off on it, not the parents. Although parental written consent is needed for farm work? It's a little much for me to parse through, sorry, here's where I'm getting my info https://www.hrsimple.com/employment-laws/illinois-human-resources-manual/statutes/child-labor-illinois#:~:text=The%20Illinois%20Child%20Labor%20Law%20requires%20all%20minors%20to%20have,as%20talent%20and%20movie%20production.
It looks like the common age is 16 in Illinois.
And the state requires an employment certificate for anyone under that age seeking to work. That's wild.
https://labor.illinois.gov/laws-rules/fls/child-labor-law-compliance.html
Agreed. And if they had luxuries like video game systems they would be sold. They can earn money to replace the luxuries themselves after they repay the debt. I would sell any non necessities of value that they had and require them to work this summer and hand over their pay checks until the debt is paid.
And op should tell the kids trip is cancelled for good since they were stupid enough to try a stunt like that and if they had criminal records they wouldn't be allowed to leave the country much less go anywhere.
And take them to the police station to have the severity explained to them of what they did so they don’t try similar again. To educate them, nothing more.
Oh wait, you and your husband can still go on the vacation, it’s magically less expensive without 2 teen boys that will be watched over by your strictest evil boomer relatives. And, oh my goodness, all their summer pay allows you to upgrade all travel and accommodations! Lesson learned.
I think this is a rather sensible idea. Won’t do them any harm and reinforces that actions do have consequences. No reason why the parents should miss out. They deserve it after all the stress
Fake checks do bounce quick but most banks have instant availability for check deposits up to a certain amount. Deposit bad check, withdrawal full value of available funds, and then account goes negative when the check bounces. That’s why the money was pulled from the linked account.
This, where did the money go? Did they already spend it? Did they send it to someone? You'll get a fee, sure, but there also has to be actual money somewhere if they withdrew the full amount from your savings to cover.
I dont think so, kids forged checks and the bank pulled from the linked custodial account to cover the bad checks and likely the fees for returned checks per OP.
Ugh, that's suuucks.
I worked at a bank in check fraud for a while and this is extremely common. Dumbass kids ruin their parents financially all the time through their stupid ass mistakes.
I hope you shut down their accounts.
usually depends on the amount of the check, sometimes (if the account is good standing) they want you to have access to your funds as a way to get you to keep depositing your money in their bank. It’s a win/win if the check is a good check. You use the bank while also getting access to your money
It's wild to me that the kids have access to being able to spend their *savings account* money. I'm not sure mine even know they have a savings account.
Wouldn't you also get locked out of making an account at any bank in the future that uses Chex Systems too since they would flag your profile for fraud? That means something dumb you did as a teen might follow you forever into your financial life as an adult.
Side note. You may want to hurry and open some new accounts at a new bank, for you and the kids. Bank might decide you are a liability and close the accounts, and but a mark on you so other banks know. I know you don’t need any added stress but wanted to give you a heads up.
I actually over heard a conversation a few months ago at a local bank about a similar situation and the teller basically told the mom the only way she could MAYBE recoup some of that money was to press charges against her daughter. The lady declined to do that but was still big mad at the whole situation.
The issue here, almost certainly, was that fake cheques were deposited then the funds withdrawn. If that wasn't the case, the kids would be no further ahead and the bank no further behind.
So the kids took the money and presumably spent it. "Try to fix it" is already done - the bank found somewhere to take the funds from to make themselves whole. And charged a couple big fees I'm sure.
Honestly, don’t let them have access to the accounts for a bit. Talk to them about the responsibility of having such account and that they are lucky to even have bank accounts very young. Kids do dumb things all the time, turn it in into a lesson, and help them understand that fraud as such can have serious consequences with the law whether intentional or not.
I used to work at the bank and a young girl deposited a fake check for a “job”. Her mom was a regular and came in crying because the check returned causing her to go negative as the daughter had withdrawn the money to send to said “job” before the check bounced. Unfortunately the bank will not return the money in this case. The bank did not close the account as the customers were always good standing and it was first time of such activity on their acct.
But i’m sorry this happened to you, i’m sure after explaining to your teens the consequences and why it wasn’t a good idea. Sometimes children don’t quite understand that things don’t come that easy, especially money.
*EDITED (i didn’t finish the sentence)- “after explaining to your teens the consequences and why it wasn’t a good idea, they will understand the severity of what they did.”
It sounds like the daughter in your example probably got caught up in a scam - it's a common thing to send a fake large cheque and then ask for some of it to be passed along.
Yeah that’s was the case, unfortunately. When looking up the check we were able to see that the check looked very fake was deposited by the girl. Stuff like this happens often unfortunately and that includes people doing unintentional fraud :(
Her teens knew what they were doing but i don’t think they knew that they could just grab money from thin air as well as how seriously the offense can me. They probably thought “cool, free money”.
I don’t think they understood that the money had to come from somewhere. They’re immature for their ages - 14 and 16 but more like 11 & 13. They’re normally good kids, this really surprised me.
Electronics are gone, bank accounts gone. Vacation is off, at least for them. We’re thinking about taking them up to the bank and having them put a scare into them. For sure they will have to pay us back.
I just feel like a crap parent. It’s nice to know this is common, I guess. Our trust is really damaged now. 😞
They are waaaay old enough to know better. Get strict. Take them to the bank and have them explain fraud. You enjoy your vacation!! They’re not going. You’re doing the right things. You’re not a crap parent
Well, there's losing your trust, but there's also them just not understanding how checks and credit and financial institutions work. They need a good grounding in financial education - not just checks, but also how credit cards work. Unfortunately a lot of folks don't understand this stuff.
In my job we see SO MANY adults fall for scams. They deposit checks from scammers, open accounts to receive misdirected wires and act as money launderers by sending wires overseas. Remote Job scams, remote access scams, etc. We also see adults try stupid shit they see on tiktok or Instagram to try to wipe out their debts - look up sovereign citizen debt elimination attempts.
For a more organized take on scams, look up on YouTube John Oliver's Last Week Tonight episode on Pig Butchering.
Even 11 and 13 year olds understand stealing. I’m glad you’re not making excuses for them, they’ve already crossed a boundary you wouldn’t have guessed they would. I know the nagging feeling that you’re judging your kid too harshly, it’s a liar for things like this. My kid got brought home by the cops at 15, for sneaking out after municipal curfew and smoking pot. He did not get the car he was intended to have three months later. He had to buy his own. Now he understands that he is accountable for his actions. Trust is important and understanding consequences is even more important.
Unfortunately today’s kids are increasingly clueless about how finances work. Partly because parents wrongly try to shield kids from it. Part of it could also be mobile games where “glitches”, loopholes and hacks are not seen as immoral, just getting free stuff from some amorphous corporation who deserves it.
My in-laws are great at saving. So much so they pay for everything out right and made sure my husband and BIL have an inheritance of sorts.
Only thing though is they never taught the boys about finance.
My husband moved out as soon as he could and learned how the real world works.
BIL is still home at 26. I remember him talking about "thinking of moving out." I asked how his credit was. The guy seriously looked at me and was like, "credit? Like credit card?" Absolutely clueless.
Parents are doing their kids a diservice by doing everything for them and not teaching them anything.
I'm a sahm now but before I had my kiddo I was a branch manager at a bank, this kind of stuff happens ALL the time with kids/teenagers and you did nothing wrong. Kids don't know what they don't know and sometimes it takes making a big mistake to figure things out.
You can call your local branch of wherever you bank and make an appointment with either a banker, service/assistant manager, or branch manager for you and your teens to learn more about general banking, fraud, and how to protect you and your money. They have constant training on all of those things and are expected to be a resource for financial literacy in our local community, you will get the best and most up to date information from the people who are legally required to know that information and deal with it on a daily basis. Plus I liked those appointments because they were a fun break from dealing with angry members lol
You’re not a bad parent. Kids are idiots — the sign of a good parent (you) is the way you handle your anger and disappointment and help them learn the lessons they need to learn. You’re doing great. I’m sorry this happened. Eventually they’ll thank you for the way you’re dealing with it.
Def bring them down to the bank to scare them. My folks did this to me when I was 8 and stole a bracelet at the drugstore. Never thought about stealing even a penny since. Ultimately though, you have to do what you feel is best for your family. Good luck!
Don't bring them to the bank. Puts the banker/manager in an awkward position. Most are just regular people and not interested in scaring kids straight in their time between customers
How can they do reparations? And what missing skills led to their bad decisions? Shoring up the weaknesses that led to their decision would be my top priority. Paying the money back is a bare minimum. Missing skills are behind every bad decision anyone makes: impulse control, decision making, delaying gratification, thinking things through, a.k.a. forecasting consequences, all seem like life skills which could have led to them making better decisions. Missing skills can be specific to an unmet want or need, too. They wanted whatever they used the money for, so their missing skills might be things like: job hunting, time management, long term goal setting, budgeting, and bartering.
If this were my daughter, her consequences would be heavily weighted towards shoring up the skills she’ll need in the future to make better decisions. If you google ways to develop kids’ skills in all of those areas, you’ll find exercises, articles, books, worksheets, games, and groups. We map out a plan of study and actions spanning the next several months, with metrics. We give assignments like daily mindfulness exercises to improve impulse control, other exercises to help delay gratification, assigned reading, journaling, essays to write, and metrics to meet. The boys might get a job, write a personal budget, write and implement a time management plan, with both earning time and planning time. They could justify and account for every cent they spend, so that when they want things in the future, they can plan and save and get them.
There’s a punishment parenting camp that thinks this is too soft, that kids should just be made to feel as horrible as possible so that they never want to do anything similar again. The thing is, they didn’t want to do the _________. (insert problem behavior here) They did it for a reason. My job as a parent is to figure out how to get my kids to a point where they make good decisions because that’s how they move through life, not because they’re afraid of getting caught. My daughter cries sometimes and asks me to please just ground her “like normal parents”, lol, but what’s she going to learn sitting in her room feeling bad?
Maybe while their electronics are gone, they could work on the skills they need to make better decisions in the future.
Hey, they did what they thought was a victimless crime. They weren’t taking money from you, or so they thought, they were just creating new money from the clouds.
I think this is a trial and error lesson for the kids that cheating the system is never worth it.
However, in the grand scheme of lil’ shit things to do, this isn’t as bad as actually stealing money from someone.
I know it sucks and I would absolutely punish my 14 year old but to me this just sounds like shenanigans more than a cruel hearted prank. Don’t kick yourself.
I think there is a bigger lesson here about discerning what is a reliable internet source and what is not in addition to there never being free money ever. This shows them that there a in fact all kinds of people who enjoy causing trickle for others even if they never see the fallout. People who enjoy anonymously hurting others even when they don’t benefit. They need to not trust what they read or see on the web unless they can verify it through other, trustworthy channels. They also need to not do crime because big corporations are good at getting theirs and they don’t care if they can afford it and you can’t. It’s also just wrong but kids sometimes fall into a Robin Hood type thought process.
You are a GREAT parent for inputting consequences to these real life scenarios!! As a 24 year old myself and a mom, I squirmed at the thought of teenage me having to be home while my parents went on vacation… they’ll learn this lesson and be better adults for it. Way to go! ❤️
You're an invested parent.
A crap parent would deny the kids did anything wrong, would blame the other kids who gave them the idea and the bank for foolishly cashing the checks.
Ensure they realize What is wrong with their actions, they are not too immature to print and cash checks so they are mature enough to understand it's a crime.
Is this just speculation/tongue in cheek, or are they actually developmentally behind? That’s a lot of important context.
It’s very alarming your 16 year old doesn’t understand basic finances. Punishments aside, can you enroll the both of them in some kind of financial literacy course for teens? I had to take on in high school.
They were both adopted as older kids from foster care, mentally they are not behind but maturity wise they are. That’s typically the case for kids who spent their childhood in the system.
Things probably *were* going fine. Kids do stupid things. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong, in particular—it does probably mean that your bank should have more robust fraud-prevention measures on their accounts for minors. Bet they’ll get some, if this is on-trend, now.
Make them pay the money back—or “pay the money back,” with a robust chore regimen, if they’re too young to have real jobs—and maybe consider a suspension of unsupervised access to their money, till they’ve persuaded you they can use it responsibly. You can hand them a fixed-limit card with $20 on it, if they really need it for something.
If it makes you feel any better, my brother was mixing napalm in the garage at that age. Downloaded a copy of the Anarchist’s Cookbook, and thought it would be a good time, apparently. He lied right in my parents’ faces about it, too—they only caught him because his friend chickened out. Anyway, he just finished a doctorate at Cornell, landed a post-doc nearby right away, has a lovely home and a much kinder, smarter fiancee, than his younger self ever deserved.
Kids do dangerous, short-sighted, potentially self-sabotaging and future-altering things. It’s developmentally normal. And *most* of them survive, grow out of it, and go on to parent their own kids who will do stupid, dangerous things. They got caught before they caught charges. Take the win; take the teachable moment; and file it away for a wedding toast, or the day they come to you, freaking out about their own kid.
I would follow up with the friends’ parents to get some of that money back or even have yours kids do it. It may be awkward but it would help them learn the consequences of their actions.
That’s check fraud, and it’s a crime…I’d point that out in your discussion with them, as well as the fact they now will not be going vacation and will be expected to pay it back. Take their phones too, since they used them to deposit the checks, and monitor their computer usage.
If they're old enough to do this, they are old enough to learn consequences. They need to get a job to pay it back. And no coming on the vacation with you. They need to understand fraud.
This is bigger than just learning a lesson about being dumb. The bank could shut down their accounts over this, and they could have an extremely difficult time getting new accounts at basically any other bank for several years. I would chat with your bank’s RM or if you have a personal banker to see what they can tell you about the account status.
They’re lucky the bank didn’t try to press charges for wire fraud. Sounds like they need some summer jobs lined up. The punishment should fit the crime.
Perhaps contact the local police and ask them if they could have a word with them and explain what happens to people who do this sort of thing. Just go on holiday yourselves and leave them with grandparents as punishment.
The first thing you do is take away their devices.. You aren’t just taking the devices away to punish them, you don’t actually know who instructed them or how they did this and so similar things could happen again. Maybe not with your checking account but other kinds of fraud that require some kind of device. You are right, not to trust them, for now. But, you may want to allow them to earn back their devices by paying you back for the fees that you had to pay. And let them figure that out. It sounds like some time without devices may do them some good.
I know this is so disappointing and frustrating but they probably just don’t “get” it. Someone else showed them how to do this and they thought “cool! Free money!” They also probably thought it was a victimless crime (like they weren’t stealing checks from someone’s home or something), and the consequences should be pretty simple- they’ll have to get jobs to pay it back or work it off. If they purchased anything, they need to return those things and the rest needs to be taken away/donated. I would also send something out to the other parents you know to let them know to talk to their kids about this. Best of luck!
Update for anyone who’s interested: my 14 yo son was approached by a stranger on social media telling him how to do this. The person sent him the link, my son deposited the checks and sent this person some of the money. He then showed his sister (15) how to do it. They basically thought they found a magic way to get $.
We have had long talk about how there is no such thing as free money, about not trusting online strangers. And basically that there are no short cuts, if you are getting money for nothing, something is very very wrong.
They have lost their phones and all electronics and will be paying us back by working and by the grade and chore $ they will not be getting. They will go on vacation only if they have paid us back by then. Bank accounts are closed. Any bday $ they get is coming to us too. They are deep cleaning our house as we speak.
And thank you to all who had kind words, I was really spiraling last night. They are still good kids and we are trying to make this a learning experience.
I know quite a few adults who have fallen for this scheme over the years, one even ended up losing their house and filing bankruptcy. Her husband also lost his secret security clearance (and they ended up divorced)
I think going to talk to the bank and a white collar detective would be a good thing. Make sure they understand the full implications of their actions. Plus a course on personal finances, many Y's and community programs have them.
I'm sorry this happened but at least they were still minors.
I REALLY hope you can make them understand that what they did is classified as counterfeiting.
They could have gone to PRISON, or at the very least Juvie.
Sounds like they need to lose access to electronics like smartphones and other such devices, and get summer jobs to restore the money they caused you guys to lose.
Maybe I’m in the minority here but they could have been taken advantage of especially if you’re saying theyre immature. When I was in highschool (7 years ago) sketchy older people would convince kids to deposit fraudulent cheques all the time where they would keep a portion of the money. Except they wouldn’t tell the kids they were fake, just that they didn’t have an account and needed someone to deposit for them and would let them keep a portion. Happened to a couple of my friends. It’s a whole scheme common in Canada and I’ve heard also in the UK.
Definitely deserving of punishment regardless, I am not downplaying this behaviour as it is fraud. And I’m sorry for any financial issues this has caused your family. Just wanted to offer another perspective.
I just find it a lot less likely that they learned to and were able to forge cheques based on the info you’ve given. Highly likely that someone else provided them with them and they’re not telling you the full story.
On top of more traditional consequences.
To the library! Checkout “Catch Me If You Can: The True Story of a Real Fake” by Frank W. Abagnale so they can understand how stupid it is to try this in 2024 when all checks are cleared electronically. Compare check fraud in Frank Abagnale’s time to 2024. (And if they mention Leonardo DiCaprio add some time to their grounding for watching a movie instead of reading the book. 😂)
Require them to out anyone else involved so other parents can take action. One of their friends could have been an even bigger idiot.
I read that as a teenager and thought criminal Frank was cool as shit.
As an adult I read up on him and it looks like he made up most of the book. His big scam was making people believe he was a criminal mastermind.
Idiots for sure.
We'll, let them learn the hard way and work to pay every cent back to you. Maybe lots more household chores? Or if they can get a legit job, then so be it.
And like someone said, spend that money on a nice vacation as just you and your husband. You deserve it!
If it makes you feel better, our 15 year old would not hesitate doing that. All he thinks about is money. And candy and food. He driven by these 3 things to such an extent that he would have done that if he could. (But luckily checks is not something I have ever used in my lifetime and it is not a thing here..)
We think that the elderly are the only ones who fall for scams. But, in reality we all do. Granted the elderly and younger people are more likely to, but anyone can be scammed. I would go into the bank and speak to a banker (not teller) and explain the situation. You may be able to get the money back. But probably not since it does sound like your kids knew it was a scam. The best lesson to teach them here is that if it’s to good to be true, it probably is and money is never free.
It doesn't matter who sent them the link- a teenager is old enough to know that creating money out of nothing isn't a "hack". It's fraud and theft. If my son did something like this, he would lose his car and would have a curfew of dinner time until he was able to work the value of the fraud off. His phone use would also be fully monitored and restricted. This is check fraud and these kids thought that they were the first to skirt fraud detection at a bank. Thanks for telling your story so that I can use this as a lesson to discuss technology and theft.
Time for a discussion about fraud and what is and isn't illegal and the potential consequences. Maybe sit in on criminal court for a day, or a week.
There is a thing called the "checksystem" that banks use to determine creditworthiness to open bank accounts, write checks, etc. Negative marks on your file means that you cannot open bank accounts at other banks. It is very likely that your son will see some ramifications in their ability to keep/open bank accounts.
Seeing their ages, barring any developmental delay, they are definitely old enough to know better. If they were my kids, they'd be paying back what they owe. Birthday and Christmas money? Pass it over. Allowance? Not getting it. Money for chores? I'm keeping it. Natural consequence. And a firm lesson in fraud! They're lucky they're still kids. Actually they're lucky the bank doesn't press charges anyway! Theft, fraud, deception. Those are big things.
On the one hand that really sucks. On the other hand, now you know that your kids need more training about how to spot scams, as well as basic ethics.
It’s better than this happened now when they are young enough that the fraud was just dismissed instead of later when you could have been out the money and your kids learning about the criminal justice system.
One resource my kids have benefited from is listening to the dark net diaries podcast. Learning about how people trick others has really improved their ability to spot scams. We also talk about the common scams and discuss why people might fall for them.
Kids need to understand the consequences of their actions. Go on a vacation without them. May be a short 2 day thing that they cannot be a part of because they screwed up.
Don’t give up so much hope. Things are still good. They just made a mistake. They’ll learn. Keep on being that good parent for them and they’ll understand when they’re older. They’re just kids, they need time and patience.
Lesson learned, hopefully. Kids don’t think things through, and even if they did they often lack necessary background knowledge. I remember being a younger kid and thinking we were suddenly rich when new checks came in the mail from the bank. When my younger brother was a teenager some kids in his grade scanned and printed $5 bills at home. They got caught when they tipped a pizza delivery guy with a $5 they’d only printed on one side. The US Treasury confiscated their parents’ computers and printers. Permanently. It’ll be ok. I learned what checks are, and the enterprising young counterfeiters grew up to be solid citizens with good jobs and families. Yours will learn from this, and someday it will be a funny story at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
3 things need to happen when kids do something wrong.
1. You need to explain to them why what they did was wrong. This is on you. You have to make sure they understand.
2. They have to atone for what they did so they right the wrong they did to the person or people to whom they did it. In this case it can be argued it was either you or the bank, or both.
3. They need to be punished as a deterrent from doing it again. This one is pretty severe, something that would get them thrown in jail in just a few years. The punishment should be pretty severe.
Horrifyingly bad financial literacy, I'm sorry. I mean they are lucky you actually had money to cover it thou not your choosing. What would happen if the bank couldn't pull money from another account?
They probably need more work on their critical thinking skills and maybe reflect on why you don't want to do whatever random people on the internet say is totally a good idea.
I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with one of the more difficult parenting scenarios. I have no doubt you’ll handle this well and your kids will learn from this mistake.
Sounds like kids need to get jobs doing something. I started working at 12, I put together furniture and made silk flower arrangements and tended to my neighbor’s flea market store. Although this was the mid 90s so, things were a bit different. But if there’s a will there’s a way, what they did would be a felony had they been 18. THAT needs to be a lesson.
Make them with their fingers to the bone to repay you. Better kids that remember a rough patch when they screwed up rather than a trip to the penitentiary for check fraud.
How old are your kids? Personally I would let the school know that this is going around, they need to put this out to other parents and school resource officers need to be notified.
I would suggest shutting off your kids ability to deposit checks into their accounts until they are more responsible, they obviously don’t seem to understand the consequences of such acts.
They also need to work and pay back these funds.
You know how we all have that one thing we did as teenagers, or young adults that we totally regret, and would rather forget we were ever that stupid? This will be there’s.
No vacay, teens: you work to pay back that money plus interest. And it’s going to be hard work too: we need to rebuild the driveway. You get a lunch break and two 15 minute breaks the rest of the day. We are also spring cleaning, kids, so down on your hands and knees scrubbing these floors til they shine.
You need to teach them a lesson. ASAP.
"I really thought things were going well lately".
Sounds like maybe the parents have been having trouble with the kids before this. The more they ignore it, the worse it'll get. So many parents are hands off with their kids, and think disciplining (not "punishing" them) is too much effort. Hope this isn't the case here, cuz these kids need an intervention. NOW.
Teens do stupid things.
Growing up is all about thinking things through and learning that all actions have consequences.
Your kids are no better and no worse than the average teen.
Be glad it's not reckless driving, or possession of a firearm.
As I said, and this was true of my parents, me, my siblings, my kids, their kids.
Teens do stupid things.
Your job is to clarify WHY its stupid And illegal and what the consequences are, and they had better be impactful! You want to teach them to think things through.
Good luck
Okay what they did was seriously stupid and irresponsible, and should definitely have some serious consequences. But i think youre taking it too personally. Kids do stupid shit. Kids lie to their parents. I dont know a single person who hasnt lied to their parents as a kid to get away with something they knew they werent supposed to do. Dont turn this into a personal issue. Take away some privileges and make them get jobs or something but theres no reason for you to be so hurt.
How old are your kids? My son did this once (when he was 17 or maybe had just turned 18) but learned the trick on from someone on a sugar mamma website.
Thankfully he’s typically broke as can be and I noticed he suddenly had about $4500 pending. Made him call the bank and explain before he spent any of it.
Here’s the bad news. He repeatedly did dumb shit like this for years, all on a similar level of stupid. Multiple times he fell for the “I’m going to send those dick picks you sent me to your friends and family unless you send me $xxx dollars …”
Every single time he lied through his teeth, coming up with the dumbest lies ever. Every single time, in reality, these financial mistakes were attached to some risky online sexual behavior.
I used to shop lift a lot as a teen and my best friend stole checks from an old woman, I knew about it and didnt tell anyone even though I didn't take part. But looking back now as a mature adult, i know i wasn't a bad kid, i think my behavior was just a coping mechanism for a shitty home life situation I was dealing with.
My parents had just separated, my mom left my abusive dad and was extremely poor and taking care of me 100%, not asking my dad for child support because he threatened to kill her if she did. My dad is an extremely cheap narcissist who never bought his kids anything. So I stole stuff bc i was a dumb teen, I still wanted to fit in and have nice clothes, but I knew that neither of my parents were going to buy me anything.
All I'm saying is that sometimes there's a reason behind the stupid behavior and maybe they are hurting for some reason and this is how they cope with it. Just something to ponder before releasing the kraken on them
Whatever you do, make sure your kids are held accountable in paying your back for all the money they tried to fraud and additional fees. Don’t let them off the hook easy, and don’t let them try and negotiate to cover a lesser amount.
Sometimes, good kids can be influenced by bad ones into doing bad things. I'd close their accounts and confiscate the checks. Make jt very clear they understand what they actually did. Doesn't mean they get off scotch free, though. Scared straight might be a good option. Community service and taking up landscaping/side hustle after school to return your hard earned money. They have until XX date to pay back OR it becomes an adult only trip.
I was a fairly good kid, but did some pretty stupid stuff on occasion.
As a now parent of teens I can definitely understand feelings being hurt.
On the plus side they have now learned a big lesson and maybe it will help them not try and take shortcuts in the future. So maybe it is good something like this happened now and not later.
That said I really hope no charges are filed and it can continue to be a huge life lesson for them.
This is going to be a tough conversation and normally I’m all about keeping yourself as cool and detached as you can but this is the moment you show them how hurt and disappointed you are. Maybe they can return some of what they bought or still have some of the money. Maybe you can save enough for just you and your partner to go in vacation. They can stay with family.
This is a golden opportunity for you to teach them a very serious lesson. I know you said they've never done anything even remotely close to this before (which is good especially for your 19 year old to make it this far into teenage life before doing something so utterly stupid. {not calling your kids stupid, I'm just saying what they did was stupid}) .
Now, this is a very serious crime they've committed but thank God the financial side of it was able to be amended. Now you need to find out WITH CERTAINTY if this was legitimately an honest mistake where they genuinely believed that they found an infinite money glitch IRL or if they KNEW that they were stealing from somebody somewhere along the way. First things first, this needs to be punished regardless however the severity of the punishment depends heavily on how ignorant they actually were to what they were doing. If they knowingly stole money from someone (be it some poor ol random bank customer whose name is unknown to y'all or be it the bank itself) then that would merit a higher degree of punishment in my opinion. Alternatively, if they 100% did not realize they were stealing from anybody and were quick to shut it down and turn themselves in, a light slap on the wrist should do the trick as them turning themselves in (to you or whomever) this is a noble display of honor, integrity, and accountability which should never really be punished in my opinion HOWEVER, you don't want to give them the Idea that you can do whatever you want as long as you take accountability for it afterward.
Like I said, this is a great opportunity to teach your kids a valuable lesson or two. So this is a great opportunity to teach them that ignorance does not excuse guilt especially in the eyes of the law.
As a fellow parent, I'm not going to insult you by telling you how to go about punishing your kids as a complete stranger to you and them. I hope I haven't offended you at all in anything I've said here in this comment, I just tried to more or less highlight some guiding lines that stand out to ME and MY style of parenting and how I might approach this situation if it were me and MY kids. You're obviously a good parent that really cares for your kids and their futures, otherwise you would've never posted here looking for advice, which I personally find commendable.
Good luck to you and your kids! I hope you guys never find yourselves in a situation like this again but let's be real, they're teenagers, they're gonna do dumb shit here and there lol let's just hope the severity of the dumb shit stays low
I feel like the curiosity got the better of them. It’s an opportunity to have a conversation about things that don’t always come up - everything from nothing in life is free to fraud puts you in jail!!
My teen did similar except put it in the atm. I did the same thing until I was shown the atm footage. Kids are such a pain in the ass. Luckily we had money to cover it.
Your kids fell for a scam. I doubt if it was presented to them as an illegal way to make money. They put it right in the bank account they share with you. Weren’t trying to hide it. This is a valuable life lesson not a reason for harsh punishment. The punishment is whatever results from the money it cost you. No vacation or whatever you were saving for. This can teach them to always think critically when something seems too good to be true. At least they didn’t sink your whole bank account into a “sure thing” in the stock market or in inventory from a pyramid scheme. Those things are totally legal and just as costly.
My 19 yo was innocently involved in a bad check scam. Not his fault, but we handled it together, and I had to speak to him about finances and adult stuff. I realized that even at 19, kids lack understanding of money and how banks work.
If they have phones/tablets/video games: take that away asap. I wouldn’t return till they paid back the money they “deposited” plus interest.
No wifi, no streaming, no play for a while…long while.
No friends over, no play time, no trips for them.
i work in banking and this is getting more and more common. I would definitely recommend having them take some financial education classes online as part of their punishment. i couldn’t tell you how many YOUNG people (late teens, early twenties) that I see ruining their credit and their parents credit by racking up credit card/line of credit debt and not being able to pay it back or taking out car loans and getting them repo’d. While deposit accounts don’t typically affect credit, many will commit fraud like your kids did or fall for scams that get them labeled as a liability and then funds get taken from joint accounts with parents or they get blacklisted from owning a bank account. a lot of kids learn from Tiktok or other social media sites these “hacks” they think will save them from the repercussions of their choices and it’s simply untrue.
They are insanely lucky the police are not involved and the bank isn’t pursuing charges for fraud. I have a former friend from college do time for a forged check under $100.
If this were my kid they’d be grounded the entire summer. Teach them if they think this is bad, they could be in a juvenile detention center for much longer for this.
What happened when you dealt with the bank? Did you talk them out of pursuing charges?
Both of our boys, 19/24 y.o. are finding their way. They are always teaching me what they’ve grasped and believe to be true in their minds. They are growing into smart, kind and good young men. I am praying constantly. I will never say what they won’t do, but I can say they know right from wrong.
I know you are hurt by their dishonesty, but use it as a learning opportunity. My parents never explained to me why they were saving money or what that meant and it took me having to earn my own money/pay for things to understand why I was being an absolute asshat.
Honestly, let them learn this one the hard way. Those checks will keep their accounts bad until every dime is paid back, plus now they will learn what happens when you do it as an adult. If you punish them, do it for lying, but the rest should be taught on its own accordance. If you fix it for them. Then I would be taxing there asses on chores or make them pick items they can sale at a yard sale to get back to you.
Might be good to ask for the local police to spend 10 minutes with the kid(s) to awaken them to the actual CRIME they have perpetrated and what happens to criminals. I'm sure they would be delighted to help and try to set the kids straight.
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This sounds like a good opportunity to explain to them the concept of fraud and how if they did this at 18 years old they would’ve been facing felony charges and prison time. This isn’t something you should be taking lightly, this is a crime. They need to pay you back what they owe you and they should get summer jobs so they can. Bet they won’t do it again.
As someone who works in the legal system, I would just like to point out that they still can get charged as juveniles, and the juvenile probation system is.... A lot to go through.
Welp, I guess they’re going to have summer jobs and/or chores until your savings account is restored. They’re old enough to at least mow lawns, pull weeds, clean pools, custodial work and babysit. Some grocery stores will hire baggers at 14 and some food establishments will hire workers at 14.
and be grounded the whole summer. Their asses wouldn't be going anywhere or talking to anyone. And of course their phones would be gone too and I wouldn't be buying them another one in the future. They wanna fuck around, they will be happy it is me doing the punishing and not the police.
Kids that age are gullible. We call them victims when someone tricks them into sending nudes or having sexual contact. But someone convinces them they have an easy get rich quick method and now they are criminals. Many adults fall for schemes that sound too good to be true. If the kids didn’t think it was illegal then they are victims in this too.
I highly doubt they thought this was legal. If they did, they would not have lied about doing it. They would have been proud to be getting extra money.
Kids never think about legal or illegal. Year’s ago I had a friend’s whose sister worked at a restaurant and would give friends free meals by ringing in and then price adjusting down to basically nothing. None of the kids saw it as stealing, just a way to beat the system.
That’s because it was being given to them. If the person doing the discounting says they didn’t know what they were doing then they are lying. And you underestimate teenagers. Again, if they didn’t think they were doing something wrong then they wouldn’t have lied about it.
And still, there are real life consequences for fraud, even if it’s done accidentally.
For legal consequences, intent usually has to be shown
That's absolutely not true.
Are you saying you believe they might not have intended to get free money by lying? Because then what else do you think their intentions were?
In the eyes of the law they are criminals yes. Minors can be charged with having possession of child pornography if caught with another teens nudes. Just because a minor is a minor it doesn't automatically make them a victim.
Yep, they think they found a loophole - something that the "older folk" are too blind to see or something like that
It’s entirely dependent on the state. You can’t legally work until 15 in my state and places won’t hire anyone under 16 (most won’t hire under 18).
There’s a lot of informal work like babysitting or walking a dog or raking a lawn.
The 10yo on the street we used to live in made $$$$ mowing lawns all spring and summer.
My niece is 13 and has made 3 grand this year from babysitting, walking kids to/from school and taking care of a neighbour's dog
Please don't recommend dog walking for underage kids! It should really only be done by professionals with insurance. Otherwise, great idea. *Edit* I didn't see baby sitting honestly, just dog walking and taking care of yards, oops.
Why does dog walking require insured professionals but watching babies doesn't?
Lol great question.
Because people on Reddit on delusional
Cause dogs can attack and severely injure or kill and babies can't. My neighbor was attacked by a dog that was in a leash, but was able to pull away from handler.
Pretty sure kids injure people, didn’t a like eight year old shoot his teacher? Babysitting isn’t just watching literal babies. Plus what if the kid chokes or has a medical emergency and you aren’t an insured babysitter, then the family sues you for negligence? Both dog watching and babysitting have risks, doesn’t mean a kid can’t do them if they are well educated and supervised when they start out. Heck I know plenty of people that have lost parts of fingers or several toes to lawn mowers, didn’t stop me from starting to mow lawns at 8.
That kid was in FIRST grade that shit his teacher, so like 6 yo. Such a sad story, but glad no one died.
Because when a dog bites it can cause major problems, like an entire nose reconstruction. When a baby bites it's cute.
Even with an “insured” dog walker, it would almost always still fall back on the owner of the dog.
You would think, but in this kinda messed up world we're currently in, the walker can be held liable by the dog owner for letting the bite happen. Of course it's all situational and ever case will be different, but the walker can be found negligent.
Possibly but if the dog walker is uninsured there’s no money to grab. And let’s be honest, people who walk dogs probably dont have big nest eggs to go after. It’s 100% on the owner of the dog and would be covered under their home or renters insurance liability.
But dogs aren't constantly getting to get themselves hurt, unlike babies and toddlers
Probably thinking protection for the worker, not the customer.
Sorry that’s way too soft for me, I was mowing lawns and watching dogs by 8, and babysitting by 12. My parents helped with the dog watching till I was about 10 but if you have health insurance and the people you are pet sitting for have pet insurance it’s just as good as a rover walker. Coddling kids too much because an app exists where people overcharge for pet services and have a major company providing insurance for those services doesn’t compute with me.
I'm also not leaving my 3 year old child with a 14 year old boy.
Especially one who's already gotten into petty crime... 😅
F that. They'll be working off that money one way or another.
They'd be getting an IOU saying "your fraud repayment plan has gone down $50 in exchange for 1(one) birthday present" every single holiday
Worth looking. You may need working paper, and there may be limits on who will hire you, but it is definitely worth looking.
You just have to look in the right places: The Connecticut Department of Education only issues Working Papers for 14 year-olds to work as caddies or in the pro shops of private or municipal golf courses, and for 15 year-olds to work in that capacity or in mercantile/retail environments. Working Papers for 14 and 15 year-olds are not issued under any other circumstances but for the above mentioned. No working papers are required for the below list of examples of permitted occupations for 14 and 15 year olds. Agriculture Street trades (newspaper delivery, shoe shining, baby-sitting) Hospitals (no food service or laundry) Convalescent homes (no food service or laundry) Hotels and motels (no food service or laundry) Banks Insurance companies Professional offices (lawyers, CPAs) Municipalities (library attendants, recreation departments) Acting Household chores for private homeowners (yard work) Licensed summer camps
14 in Oklahoma. OP probably doesn't live here though. 😆
12 in Illinois.
Wow! Is that with a similar, signed form by the parents, that Oklahoma requires for 14-year-olds? 😮
If I understand it right (ianal) it's an official at the kids school who signs off on it, not the parents. Although parental written consent is needed for farm work? It's a little much for me to parse through, sorry, here's where I'm getting my info https://www.hrsimple.com/employment-laws/illinois-human-resources-manual/statutes/child-labor-illinois#:~:text=The%20Illinois%20Child%20Labor%20Law%20requires%20all%20minors%20to%20have,as%20talent%20and%20movie%20production.
It looks like the common age is 16 in Illinois. And the state requires an employment certificate for anyone under that age seeking to work. That's wild. https://labor.illinois.gov/laws-rules/fls/child-labor-law-compliance.html
You're just giving excuses to reward bad behavior.
The south and midwest love child labor. Time to move.
Thanks to the Republicans, in some states, she could send them to work at the meat processing plant now...
Agreed. And if they had luxuries like video game systems they would be sold. They can earn money to replace the luxuries themselves after they repay the debt. I would sell any non necessities of value that they had and require them to work this summer and hand over their pay checks until the debt is paid.
And op should tell the kids trip is cancelled for good since they were stupid enough to try a stunt like that and if they had criminal records they wouldn't be allowed to leave the country much less go anywhere.
And take them to the police station to have the severity explained to them of what they did so they don’t try similar again. To educate them, nothing more.
Yeah I probably wouldn't do this. There could be legal repercussions.
Where do you live that anyone still hires teens? Around here adults are willing to knife fight for the jobs teens used to roll their eyes at.
Oh wait, you and your husband can still go on the vacation, it’s magically less expensive without 2 teen boys that will be watched over by your strictest evil boomer relatives. And, oh my goodness, all their summer pay allows you to upgrade all travel and accommodations! Lesson learned.
I think this is a rather sensible idea. Won’t do them any harm and reinforces that actions do have consequences. No reason why the parents should miss out. They deserve it after all the stress
My inner teen is squirming at the thought of being babysat by my grandparents after pulling a stunt like this. I would have been so ashamed.
Make sure they turn off their wifi before you drop them off. Or at least change the password
I do love a good natural consequence!
Considering the kids committed a felony, yeah, they deserve some Significant consequences.
Strict boomer babysitter is like scared straight program
Seems like a fair solution to me. Would've had me rethinking my life choices.
What did they do with the money they deposited? Spend it? Fake checks shoulda bounced rather quickly
Fake checks do bounce quick but most banks have instant availability for check deposits up to a certain amount. Deposit bad check, withdrawal full value of available funds, and then account goes negative when the check bounces. That’s why the money was pulled from the linked account.
Maybe the kids deposited it, immediately withdrew it, and spent it. So parents are on the hook for it.
The checks probably bounced which costs money
This, where did the money go? Did they already spend it? Did they send it to someone? You'll get a fee, sure, but there also has to be actual money somewhere if they withdrew the full amount from your savings to cover.
It sounds like they were forged checks from the parent's checking account.
I dont think so, kids forged checks and the bank pulled from the linked custodial account to cover the bad checks and likely the fees for returned checks per OP.
Ugh, that's suuucks. I worked at a bank in check fraud for a while and this is extremely common. Dumbass kids ruin their parents financially all the time through their stupid ass mistakes. I hope you shut down their accounts.
Why do minors accounts even have instant access to funds upon deposit…
Available funds rule.
usually depends on the amount of the check, sometimes (if the account is good standing) they want you to have access to your funds as a way to get you to keep depositing your money in their bank. It’s a win/win if the check is a good check. You use the bank while also getting access to your money
Because it's a federal law for funds availability for checks, see Regulation CC.
It's wild to me that the kids have access to being able to spend their *savings account* money. I'm not sure mine even know they have a savings account.
They’re seriously lucky the bank did not press charges for fraud. Do they understand that?
I know someone who, as a teen on the wrong side of 18, went away for this.
Wouldn't you also get locked out of making an account at any bank in the future that uses Chex Systems too since they would flag your profile for fraud? That means something dumb you did as a teen might follow you forever into your financial life as an adult.
For the Chex system it’s 5-7 years, depending on how it gets classified, not forever.
Side note. You may want to hurry and open some new accounts at a new bank, for you and the kids. Bank might decide you are a liability and close the accounts, and but a mark on you so other banks know. I know you don’t need any added stress but wanted to give you a heads up.
I work at a bank, kids do this stuff alllllllllll.the.time.
If the parents try to fix it, does the bank let them?
I actually over heard a conversation a few months ago at a local bank about a similar situation and the teller basically told the mom the only way she could MAYBE recoup some of that money was to press charges against her daughter. The lady declined to do that but was still big mad at the whole situation.
The issue here, almost certainly, was that fake cheques were deposited then the funds withdrawn. If that wasn't the case, the kids would be no further ahead and the bank no further behind. So the kids took the money and presumably spent it. "Try to fix it" is already done - the bank found somewhere to take the funds from to make themselves whole. And charged a couple big fees I'm sure.
Usually no. But I can’t speak for every bank. Even if the money is paid back to the bank, the bank still views them as a risk.
I worked at a bank 15 years ago and never ever saw this happen. Not once, not even a little bit. Very strange that this is now “common”.
15 years was a long time ago.
Mobile deposits only started maybe 10 years ago.
My high school friends used to do this 35 years ago. Just deposit an empty envelope into the machine and withdraw $20 or whatever for booze.
Well, 15 years ago there wasn't mobile deposit. The kid would physically have to walk into the bank....
… stacked on 2 other children in a trench coat!
Honestly, don’t let them have access to the accounts for a bit. Talk to them about the responsibility of having such account and that they are lucky to even have bank accounts very young. Kids do dumb things all the time, turn it in into a lesson, and help them understand that fraud as such can have serious consequences with the law whether intentional or not. I used to work at the bank and a young girl deposited a fake check for a “job”. Her mom was a regular and came in crying because the check returned causing her to go negative as the daughter had withdrawn the money to send to said “job” before the check bounced. Unfortunately the bank will not return the money in this case. The bank did not close the account as the customers were always good standing and it was first time of such activity on their acct. But i’m sorry this happened to you, i’m sure after explaining to your teens the consequences and why it wasn’t a good idea. Sometimes children don’t quite understand that things don’t come that easy, especially money. *EDITED (i didn’t finish the sentence)- “after explaining to your teens the consequences and why it wasn’t a good idea, they will understand the severity of what they did.”
It sounds like the daughter in your example probably got caught up in a scam - it's a common thing to send a fake large cheque and then ask for some of it to be passed along.
Yeah that’s was the case, unfortunately. When looking up the check we were able to see that the check looked very fake was deposited by the girl. Stuff like this happens often unfortunately and that includes people doing unintentional fraud :( Her teens knew what they were doing but i don’t think they knew that they could just grab money from thin air as well as how seriously the offense can me. They probably thought “cool, free money”.
I don’t think they understood that the money had to come from somewhere. They’re immature for their ages - 14 and 16 but more like 11 & 13. They’re normally good kids, this really surprised me. Electronics are gone, bank accounts gone. Vacation is off, at least for them. We’re thinking about taking them up to the bank and having them put a scare into them. For sure they will have to pay us back. I just feel like a crap parent. It’s nice to know this is common, I guess. Our trust is really damaged now. 😞
They are waaaay old enough to know better. Get strict. Take them to the bank and have them explain fraud. You enjoy your vacation!! They’re not going. You’re doing the right things. You’re not a crap parent
Well, there's losing your trust, but there's also them just not understanding how checks and credit and financial institutions work. They need a good grounding in financial education - not just checks, but also how credit cards work. Unfortunately a lot of folks don't understand this stuff. In my job we see SO MANY adults fall for scams. They deposit checks from scammers, open accounts to receive misdirected wires and act as money launderers by sending wires overseas. Remote Job scams, remote access scams, etc. We also see adults try stupid shit they see on tiktok or Instagram to try to wipe out their debts - look up sovereign citizen debt elimination attempts. For a more organized take on scams, look up on YouTube John Oliver's Last Week Tonight episode on Pig Butchering.
Even 11 and 13 year olds understand stealing. I’m glad you’re not making excuses for them, they’ve already crossed a boundary you wouldn’t have guessed they would. I know the nagging feeling that you’re judging your kid too harshly, it’s a liar for things like this. My kid got brought home by the cops at 15, for sneaking out after municipal curfew and smoking pot. He did not get the car he was intended to have three months later. He had to buy his own. Now he understands that he is accountable for his actions. Trust is important and understanding consequences is even more important.
Unfortunately today’s kids are increasingly clueless about how finances work. Partly because parents wrongly try to shield kids from it. Part of it could also be mobile games where “glitches”, loopholes and hacks are not seen as immoral, just getting free stuff from some amorphous corporation who deserves it.
My in-laws are great at saving. So much so they pay for everything out right and made sure my husband and BIL have an inheritance of sorts. Only thing though is they never taught the boys about finance. My husband moved out as soon as he could and learned how the real world works. BIL is still home at 26. I remember him talking about "thinking of moving out." I asked how his credit was. The guy seriously looked at me and was like, "credit? Like credit card?" Absolutely clueless. Parents are doing their kids a diservice by doing everything for them and not teaching them anything.
I'm a sahm now but before I had my kiddo I was a branch manager at a bank, this kind of stuff happens ALL the time with kids/teenagers and you did nothing wrong. Kids don't know what they don't know and sometimes it takes making a big mistake to figure things out. You can call your local branch of wherever you bank and make an appointment with either a banker, service/assistant manager, or branch manager for you and your teens to learn more about general banking, fraud, and how to protect you and your money. They have constant training on all of those things and are expected to be a resource for financial literacy in our local community, you will get the best and most up to date information from the people who are legally required to know that information and deal with it on a daily basis. Plus I liked those appointments because they were a fun break from dealing with angry members lol
You’re not a bad parent. Kids are idiots — the sign of a good parent (you) is the way you handle your anger and disappointment and help them learn the lessons they need to learn. You’re doing great. I’m sorry this happened. Eventually they’ll thank you for the way you’re dealing with it.
Def bring them down to the bank to scare them. My folks did this to me when I was 8 and stole a bracelet at the drugstore. Never thought about stealing even a penny since. Ultimately though, you have to do what you feel is best for your family. Good luck!
Don't bring them to the bank. Puts the banker/manager in an awkward position. Most are just regular people and not interested in scaring kids straight in their time between customers
How can they do reparations? And what missing skills led to their bad decisions? Shoring up the weaknesses that led to their decision would be my top priority. Paying the money back is a bare minimum. Missing skills are behind every bad decision anyone makes: impulse control, decision making, delaying gratification, thinking things through, a.k.a. forecasting consequences, all seem like life skills which could have led to them making better decisions. Missing skills can be specific to an unmet want or need, too. They wanted whatever they used the money for, so their missing skills might be things like: job hunting, time management, long term goal setting, budgeting, and bartering. If this were my daughter, her consequences would be heavily weighted towards shoring up the skills she’ll need in the future to make better decisions. If you google ways to develop kids’ skills in all of those areas, you’ll find exercises, articles, books, worksheets, games, and groups. We map out a plan of study and actions spanning the next several months, with metrics. We give assignments like daily mindfulness exercises to improve impulse control, other exercises to help delay gratification, assigned reading, journaling, essays to write, and metrics to meet. The boys might get a job, write a personal budget, write and implement a time management plan, with both earning time and planning time. They could justify and account for every cent they spend, so that when they want things in the future, they can plan and save and get them. There’s a punishment parenting camp that thinks this is too soft, that kids should just be made to feel as horrible as possible so that they never want to do anything similar again. The thing is, they didn’t want to do the _________. (insert problem behavior here) They did it for a reason. My job as a parent is to figure out how to get my kids to a point where they make good decisions because that’s how they move through life, not because they’re afraid of getting caught. My daughter cries sometimes and asks me to please just ground her “like normal parents”, lol, but what’s she going to learn sitting in her room feeling bad? Maybe while their electronics are gone, they could work on the skills they need to make better decisions in the future.
Hey, they did what they thought was a victimless crime. They weren’t taking money from you, or so they thought, they were just creating new money from the clouds. I think this is a trial and error lesson for the kids that cheating the system is never worth it. However, in the grand scheme of lil’ shit things to do, this isn’t as bad as actually stealing money from someone. I know it sucks and I would absolutely punish my 14 year old but to me this just sounds like shenanigans more than a cruel hearted prank. Don’t kick yourself.
I think there is a bigger lesson here about discerning what is a reliable internet source and what is not in addition to there never being free money ever. This shows them that there a in fact all kinds of people who enjoy causing trickle for others even if they never see the fallout. People who enjoy anonymously hurting others even when they don’t benefit. They need to not trust what they read or see on the web unless they can verify it through other, trustworthy channels. They also need to not do crime because big corporations are good at getting theirs and they don’t care if they can afford it and you can’t. It’s also just wrong but kids sometimes fall into a Robin Hood type thought process.
You are a GREAT parent for inputting consequences to these real life scenarios!! As a 24 year old myself and a mom, I squirmed at the thought of teenage me having to be home while my parents went on vacation… they’ll learn this lesson and be better adults for it. Way to go! ❤️
You're an invested parent. A crap parent would deny the kids did anything wrong, would blame the other kids who gave them the idea and the bank for foolishly cashing the checks. Ensure they realize What is wrong with their actions, they are not too immature to print and cash checks so they are mature enough to understand it's a crime.
Is this just speculation/tongue in cheek, or are they actually developmentally behind? That’s a lot of important context. It’s very alarming your 16 year old doesn’t understand basic finances. Punishments aside, can you enroll the both of them in some kind of financial literacy course for teens? I had to take on in high school.
They were both adopted as older kids from foster care, mentally they are not behind but maturity wise they are. That’s typically the case for kids who spent their childhood in the system.
Don’t make excuses for them. They’re old. They know better.
Genuinely wondering if they have intellectual disabilities. Or if you over sheltered them. Game plan would change accordingly
Things probably *were* going fine. Kids do stupid things. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong, in particular—it does probably mean that your bank should have more robust fraud-prevention measures on their accounts for minors. Bet they’ll get some, if this is on-trend, now. Make them pay the money back—or “pay the money back,” with a robust chore regimen, if they’re too young to have real jobs—and maybe consider a suspension of unsupervised access to their money, till they’ve persuaded you they can use it responsibly. You can hand them a fixed-limit card with $20 on it, if they really need it for something. If it makes you feel any better, my brother was mixing napalm in the garage at that age. Downloaded a copy of the Anarchist’s Cookbook, and thought it would be a good time, apparently. He lied right in my parents’ faces about it, too—they only caught him because his friend chickened out. Anyway, he just finished a doctorate at Cornell, landed a post-doc nearby right away, has a lovely home and a much kinder, smarter fiancee, than his younger self ever deserved. Kids do dangerous, short-sighted, potentially self-sabotaging and future-altering things. It’s developmentally normal. And *most* of them survive, grow out of it, and go on to parent their own kids who will do stupid, dangerous things. They got caught before they caught charges. Take the win; take the teachable moment; and file it away for a wedding toast, or the day they come to you, freaking out about their own kid.
And did they actually take the money out and do something with it? Otherwise you should be at net zero…?
I'm also confused
Well, returned check charges took a good chunk. I think my son also gave $ to friends to impress them. 🤦🏻♀️
I would follow up with the friends’ parents to get some of that money back or even have yours kids do it. It may be awkward but it would help them learn the consequences of their actions.
How much is returned checks? $30?
45$ a piece here. Learned that the hard way when I forgot to repeat the wire transfers from bank to bank for bills.
That’s check fraud, and it’s a crime…I’d point that out in your discussion with them, as well as the fact they now will not be going vacation and will be expected to pay it back. Take their phones too, since they used them to deposit the checks, and monitor their computer usage.
If they're old enough to do this, they are old enough to learn consequences. They need to get a job to pay it back. And no coming on the vacation with you. They need to understand fraud.
My mate's brother did this (adult). He went to prison for a number of months. He didn't do it again.
This is bigger than just learning a lesson about being dumb. The bank could shut down their accounts over this, and they could have an extremely difficult time getting new accounts at basically any other bank for several years. I would chat with your bank’s RM or if you have a personal banker to see what they can tell you about the account status.
They’re lucky the bank didn’t try to press charges for wire fraud. Sounds like they need some summer jobs lined up. The punishment should fit the crime.
Fully agree. Put them to work.
Perhaps contact the local police and ask them if they could have a word with them and explain what happens to people who do this sort of thing. Just go on holiday yourselves and leave them with grandparents as punishment.
The first thing you do is take away their devices.. You aren’t just taking the devices away to punish them, you don’t actually know who instructed them or how they did this and so similar things could happen again. Maybe not with your checking account but other kinds of fraud that require some kind of device. You are right, not to trust them, for now. But, you may want to allow them to earn back their devices by paying you back for the fees that you had to pay. And let them figure that out. It sounds like some time without devices may do them some good.
I know this is so disappointing and frustrating but they probably just don’t “get” it. Someone else showed them how to do this and they thought “cool! Free money!” They also probably thought it was a victimless crime (like they weren’t stealing checks from someone’s home or something), and the consequences should be pretty simple- they’ll have to get jobs to pay it back or work it off. If they purchased anything, they need to return those things and the rest needs to be taken away/donated. I would also send something out to the other parents you know to let them know to talk to their kids about this. Best of luck!
Update for anyone who’s interested: my 14 yo son was approached by a stranger on social media telling him how to do this. The person sent him the link, my son deposited the checks and sent this person some of the money. He then showed his sister (15) how to do it. They basically thought they found a magic way to get $. We have had long talk about how there is no such thing as free money, about not trusting online strangers. And basically that there are no short cuts, if you are getting money for nothing, something is very very wrong. They have lost their phones and all electronics and will be paying us back by working and by the grade and chore $ they will not be getting. They will go on vacation only if they have paid us back by then. Bank accounts are closed. Any bday $ they get is coming to us too. They are deep cleaning our house as we speak. And thank you to all who had kind words, I was really spiraling last night. They are still good kids and we are trying to make this a learning experience.
I know quite a few adults who have fallen for this scheme over the years, one even ended up losing their house and filing bankruptcy. Her husband also lost his secret security clearance (and they ended up divorced) I think going to talk to the bank and a white collar detective would be a good thing. Make sure they understand the full implications of their actions. Plus a course on personal finances, many Y's and community programs have them. I'm sorry this happened but at least they were still minors.
I REALLY hope you can make them understand that what they did is classified as counterfeiting. They could have gone to PRISON, or at the very least Juvie. Sounds like they need to lose access to electronics like smartphones and other such devices, and get summer jobs to restore the money they caused you guys to lose.
Maybe I’m in the minority here but they could have been taken advantage of especially if you’re saying theyre immature. When I was in highschool (7 years ago) sketchy older people would convince kids to deposit fraudulent cheques all the time where they would keep a portion of the money. Except they wouldn’t tell the kids they were fake, just that they didn’t have an account and needed someone to deposit for them and would let them keep a portion. Happened to a couple of my friends. It’s a whole scheme common in Canada and I’ve heard also in the UK. Definitely deserving of punishment regardless, I am not downplaying this behaviour as it is fraud. And I’m sorry for any financial issues this has caused your family. Just wanted to offer another perspective.
I just find it a lot less likely that they learned to and were able to forge cheques based on the info you’ve given. Highly likely that someone else provided them with them and they’re not telling you the full story.
On top of more traditional consequences. To the library! Checkout “Catch Me If You Can: The True Story of a Real Fake” by Frank W. Abagnale so they can understand how stupid it is to try this in 2024 when all checks are cleared electronically. Compare check fraud in Frank Abagnale’s time to 2024. (And if they mention Leonardo DiCaprio add some time to their grounding for watching a movie instead of reading the book. 😂) Require them to out anyone else involved so other parents can take action. One of their friends could have been an even bigger idiot.
I read that as a teenager and thought criminal Frank was cool as shit. As an adult I read up on him and it looks like he made up most of the book. His big scam was making people believe he was a criminal mastermind.
“catch me if you can” may be too romanticizing (and god forbid dicaprio’s version’s seen). i worry that would be more inspiring than warning.
My first thought lol
That book made me want to do crimes!
Jobs to pay you back and loss of the technology that allowed them to do it till it’s paid back in full.
Idiots for sure. We'll, let them learn the hard way and work to pay every cent back to you. Maybe lots more household chores? Or if they can get a legit job, then so be it. And like someone said, spend that money on a nice vacation as just you and your husband. You deserve it!
If it makes you feel better, our 15 year old would not hesitate doing that. All he thinks about is money. And candy and food. He driven by these 3 things to such an extent that he would have done that if he could. (But luckily checks is not something I have ever used in my lifetime and it is not a thing here..)
How are you going to punish them?
It’s going to be a long, hot, boring summer. Working 6 days per week. You get half the pay checks until the debts get paid.
We think that the elderly are the only ones who fall for scams. But, in reality we all do. Granted the elderly and younger people are more likely to, but anyone can be scammed. I would go into the bank and speak to a banker (not teller) and explain the situation. You may be able to get the money back. But probably not since it does sound like your kids knew it was a scam. The best lesson to teach them here is that if it’s to good to be true, it probably is and money is never free.
the way my teenagers would immediately not have a phone after this, among many other miserable consequences.
It doesn't matter who sent them the link- a teenager is old enough to know that creating money out of nothing isn't a "hack". It's fraud and theft. If my son did something like this, he would lose his car and would have a curfew of dinner time until he was able to work the value of the fraud off. His phone use would also be fully monitored and restricted. This is check fraud and these kids thought that they were the first to skirt fraud detection at a bank. Thanks for telling your story so that I can use this as a lesson to discuss technology and theft.
Time for a discussion about fraud and what is and isn't illegal and the potential consequences. Maybe sit in on criminal court for a day, or a week. There is a thing called the "checksystem" that banks use to determine creditworthiness to open bank accounts, write checks, etc. Negative marks on your file means that you cannot open bank accounts at other banks. It is very likely that your son will see some ramifications in their ability to keep/open bank accounts.
Seeing their ages, barring any developmental delay, they are definitely old enough to know better. If they were my kids, they'd be paying back what they owe. Birthday and Christmas money? Pass it over. Allowance? Not getting it. Money for chores? I'm keeping it. Natural consequence. And a firm lesson in fraud! They're lucky they're still kids. Actually they're lucky the bank doesn't press charges anyway! Theft, fraud, deception. Those are big things.
On the one hand that really sucks. On the other hand, now you know that your kids need more training about how to spot scams, as well as basic ethics. It’s better than this happened now when they are young enough that the fraud was just dismissed instead of later when you could have been out the money and your kids learning about the criminal justice system. One resource my kids have benefited from is listening to the dark net diaries podcast. Learning about how people trick others has really improved their ability to spot scams. We also talk about the common scams and discuss why people might fall for them.
Kids need to understand the consequences of their actions. Go on a vacation without them. May be a short 2 day thing that they cannot be a part of because they screwed up.
You did (a) close their accounts and (b) make sure they know they are paying back every penny, right?
Don’t give up so much hope. Things are still good. They just made a mistake. They’ll learn. Keep on being that good parent for them and they’ll understand when they’re older. They’re just kids, they need time and patience.
Lesson learned, hopefully. Kids don’t think things through, and even if they did they often lack necessary background knowledge. I remember being a younger kid and thinking we were suddenly rich when new checks came in the mail from the bank. When my younger brother was a teenager some kids in his grade scanned and printed $5 bills at home. They got caught when they tipped a pizza delivery guy with a $5 they’d only printed on one side. The US Treasury confiscated their parents’ computers and printers. Permanently. It’ll be ok. I learned what checks are, and the enterprising young counterfeiters grew up to be solid citizens with good jobs and families. Yours will learn from this, and someday it will be a funny story at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
3 things need to happen when kids do something wrong. 1. You need to explain to them why what they did was wrong. This is on you. You have to make sure they understand. 2. They have to atone for what they did so they right the wrong they did to the person or people to whom they did it. In this case it can be argued it was either you or the bank, or both. 3. They need to be punished as a deterrent from doing it again. This one is pretty severe, something that would get them thrown in jail in just a few years. The punishment should be pretty severe.
They’re gonna learn real quick!
Horrifyingly bad financial literacy, I'm sorry. I mean they are lucky you actually had money to cover it thou not your choosing. What would happen if the bank couldn't pull money from another account? They probably need more work on their critical thinking skills and maybe reflect on why you don't want to do whatever random people on the internet say is totally a good idea.
Well... It's time to parent. 😅
I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with one of the more difficult parenting scenarios. I have no doubt you’ll handle this well and your kids will learn from this mistake.
Sounds like kids need to get jobs doing something. I started working at 12, I put together furniture and made silk flower arrangements and tended to my neighbor’s flea market store. Although this was the mid 90s so, things were a bit different. But if there’s a will there’s a way, what they did would be a felony had they been 18. THAT needs to be a lesson.
Make them with their fingers to the bone to repay you. Better kids that remember a rough patch when they screwed up rather than a trip to the penitentiary for check fraud.
How old are your kids? Personally I would let the school know that this is going around, they need to put this out to other parents and school resource officers need to be notified. I would suggest shutting off your kids ability to deposit checks into their accounts until they are more responsible, they obviously don’t seem to understand the consequences of such acts. They also need to work and pay back these funds.
You know how we all have that one thing we did as teenagers, or young adults that we totally regret, and would rather forget we were ever that stupid? This will be there’s.
Oop… no vacation now just jobs.
No vacay, teens: you work to pay back that money plus interest. And it’s going to be hard work too: we need to rebuild the driveway. You get a lunch break and two 15 minute breaks the rest of the day. We are also spring cleaning, kids, so down on your hands and knees scrubbing these floors til they shine. You need to teach them a lesson. ASAP.
"I really thought things were going well lately". Sounds like maybe the parents have been having trouble with the kids before this. The more they ignore it, the worse it'll get. So many parents are hands off with their kids, and think disciplining (not "punishing" them) is too much effort. Hope this isn't the case here, cuz these kids need an intervention. NOW.
Teens do stupid things. Growing up is all about thinking things through and learning that all actions have consequences. Your kids are no better and no worse than the average teen. Be glad it's not reckless driving, or possession of a firearm. As I said, and this was true of my parents, me, my siblings, my kids, their kids. Teens do stupid things. Your job is to clarify WHY its stupid And illegal and what the consequences are, and they had better be impactful! You want to teach them to think things through. Good luck
Okay what they did was seriously stupid and irresponsible, and should definitely have some serious consequences. But i think youre taking it too personally. Kids do stupid shit. Kids lie to their parents. I dont know a single person who hasnt lied to their parents as a kid to get away with something they knew they werent supposed to do. Dont turn this into a personal issue. Take away some privileges and make them get jobs or something but theres no reason for you to be so hurt.
How old are your kids? My son did this once (when he was 17 or maybe had just turned 18) but learned the trick on from someone on a sugar mamma website. Thankfully he’s typically broke as can be and I noticed he suddenly had about $4500 pending. Made him call the bank and explain before he spent any of it. Here’s the bad news. He repeatedly did dumb shit like this for years, all on a similar level of stupid. Multiple times he fell for the “I’m going to send those dick picks you sent me to your friends and family unless you send me $xxx dollars …” Every single time he lied through his teeth, coming up with the dumbest lies ever. Every single time, in reality, these financial mistakes were attached to some risky online sexual behavior.
WTF was he doing >on a sugar mamma website ????
I used to shop lift a lot as a teen and my best friend stole checks from an old woman, I knew about it and didnt tell anyone even though I didn't take part. But looking back now as a mature adult, i know i wasn't a bad kid, i think my behavior was just a coping mechanism for a shitty home life situation I was dealing with. My parents had just separated, my mom left my abusive dad and was extremely poor and taking care of me 100%, not asking my dad for child support because he threatened to kill her if she did. My dad is an extremely cheap narcissist who never bought his kids anything. So I stole stuff bc i was a dumb teen, I still wanted to fit in and have nice clothes, but I knew that neither of my parents were going to buy me anything. All I'm saying is that sometimes there's a reason behind the stupid behavior and maybe they are hurting for some reason and this is how they cope with it. Just something to ponder before releasing the kraken on them
Kids are morons. They need consequences for sure, but it’s not uncommon to do stupid crap as a teen.
Whatever you do, make sure your kids are held accountable in paying your back for all the money they tried to fraud and additional fees. Don’t let them off the hook easy, and don’t let them try and negotiate to cover a lesser amount.
Sometimes, good kids can be influenced by bad ones into doing bad things. I'd close their accounts and confiscate the checks. Make jt very clear they understand what they actually did. Doesn't mean they get off scotch free, though. Scared straight might be a good option. Community service and taking up landscaping/side hustle after school to return your hard earned money. They have until XX date to pay back OR it becomes an adult only trip.
search up punch made dev fake check tutorial
I was a fairly good kid, but did some pretty stupid stuff on occasion. As a now parent of teens I can definitely understand feelings being hurt. On the plus side they have now learned a big lesson and maybe it will help them not try and take shortcuts in the future. So maybe it is good something like this happened now and not later. That said I really hope no charges are filed and it can continue to be a huge life lesson for them.
This is going to be a tough conversation and normally I’m all about keeping yourself as cool and detached as you can but this is the moment you show them how hurt and disappointed you are. Maybe they can return some of what they bought or still have some of the money. Maybe you can save enough for just you and your partner to go in vacation. They can stay with family.
This is a golden opportunity for you to teach them a very serious lesson. I know you said they've never done anything even remotely close to this before (which is good especially for your 19 year old to make it this far into teenage life before doing something so utterly stupid. {not calling your kids stupid, I'm just saying what they did was stupid}) . Now, this is a very serious crime they've committed but thank God the financial side of it was able to be amended. Now you need to find out WITH CERTAINTY if this was legitimately an honest mistake where they genuinely believed that they found an infinite money glitch IRL or if they KNEW that they were stealing from somebody somewhere along the way. First things first, this needs to be punished regardless however the severity of the punishment depends heavily on how ignorant they actually were to what they were doing. If they knowingly stole money from someone (be it some poor ol random bank customer whose name is unknown to y'all or be it the bank itself) then that would merit a higher degree of punishment in my opinion. Alternatively, if they 100% did not realize they were stealing from anybody and were quick to shut it down and turn themselves in, a light slap on the wrist should do the trick as them turning themselves in (to you or whomever) this is a noble display of honor, integrity, and accountability which should never really be punished in my opinion HOWEVER, you don't want to give them the Idea that you can do whatever you want as long as you take accountability for it afterward. Like I said, this is a great opportunity to teach your kids a valuable lesson or two. So this is a great opportunity to teach them that ignorance does not excuse guilt especially in the eyes of the law. As a fellow parent, I'm not going to insult you by telling you how to go about punishing your kids as a complete stranger to you and them. I hope I haven't offended you at all in anything I've said here in this comment, I just tried to more or less highlight some guiding lines that stand out to ME and MY style of parenting and how I might approach this situation if it were me and MY kids. You're obviously a good parent that really cares for your kids and their futures, otherwise you would've never posted here looking for advice, which I personally find commendable. Good luck to you and your kids! I hope you guys never find yourselves in a situation like this again but let's be real, they're teenagers, they're gonna do dumb shit here and there lol let's just hope the severity of the dumb shit stays low
I feel like the curiosity got the better of them. It’s an opportunity to have a conversation about things that don’t always come up - everything from nothing in life is free to fraud puts you in jail!!
Dumb dumbs! Time for a job. I got my first job as a cashier at 12, I would make them pay back every penny through work or chores.
Wow I had no idea, new thing to add to the list of things to address when my 4 kids are all teenagers at one time 😳
My teen did similar except put it in the atm. I did the same thing until I was shown the atm footage. Kids are such a pain in the ass. Luckily we had money to cover it.
Make sure you warn them that once they’re older, they can be tried as adults and sent to prison….
This is fraud I would be getting a lawyer ASAP
a lawyer to go against whom? their 14 and 16 year old?
They need jobs to pay the money back
Your kids fell for a scam. I doubt if it was presented to them as an illegal way to make money. They put it right in the bank account they share with you. Weren’t trying to hide it. This is a valuable life lesson not a reason for harsh punishment. The punishment is whatever results from the money it cost you. No vacation or whatever you were saving for. This can teach them to always think critically when something seems too good to be true. At least they didn’t sink your whole bank account into a “sure thing” in the stock market or in inventory from a pyramid scheme. Those things are totally legal and just as costly.
My 19 yo was innocently involved in a bad check scam. Not his fault, but we handled it together, and I had to speak to him about finances and adult stuff. I realized that even at 19, kids lack understanding of money and how banks work.
Yeah dude they'd lose access to smart phones. Switch them to a flip phone so that can't use banking apps.
Car washing and detailing
If they have phones/tablets/video games: take that away asap. I wouldn’t return till they paid back the money they “deposited” plus interest. No wifi, no streaming, no play for a while…long while. No friends over, no play time, no trips for them.
i work in banking and this is getting more and more common. I would definitely recommend having them take some financial education classes online as part of their punishment. i couldn’t tell you how many YOUNG people (late teens, early twenties) that I see ruining their credit and their parents credit by racking up credit card/line of credit debt and not being able to pay it back or taking out car loans and getting them repo’d. While deposit accounts don’t typically affect credit, many will commit fraud like your kids did or fall for scams that get them labeled as a liability and then funds get taken from joint accounts with parents or they get blacklisted from owning a bank account. a lot of kids learn from Tiktok or other social media sites these “hacks” they think will save them from the repercussions of their choices and it’s simply untrue.
They are insanely lucky the police are not involved and the bank isn’t pursuing charges for fraud. I have a former friend from college do time for a forged check under $100. If this were my kid they’d be grounded the entire summer. Teach them if they think this is bad, they could be in a juvenile detention center for much longer for this. What happened when you dealt with the bank? Did you talk them out of pursuing charges?
I hope you’re making them pay it back!
Both of our boys, 19/24 y.o. are finding their way. They are always teaching me what they’ve grasped and believe to be true in their minds. They are growing into smart, kind and good young men. I am praying constantly. I will never say what they won’t do, but I can say they know right from wrong.
I know you are hurt by their dishonesty, but use it as a learning opportunity. My parents never explained to me why they were saving money or what that meant and it took me having to earn my own money/pay for things to understand why I was being an absolute asshat.
Honestly, let them learn this one the hard way. Those checks will keep their accounts bad until every dime is paid back, plus now they will learn what happens when you do it as an adult. If you punish them, do it for lying, but the rest should be taught on its own accordance. If you fix it for them. Then I would be taxing there asses on chores or make them pick items they can sale at a yard sale to get back to you.
Might be good to ask for the local police to spend 10 minutes with the kid(s) to awaken them to the actual CRIME they have perpetrated and what happens to criminals. I'm sure they would be delighted to help and try to set the kids straight.
Never again try to lie your way out of trouble. Second, have them research fraud. Third, they are obviously not mature enough for bank accounts