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Step 1 is not to beat yourself up about every relapse. It has already happened, and will continue to happen, because changing behavior takes time. Accept that you will make mistakes, but will use those as an opportunity to improve, slowly over time.
Step 2 is taking all that sexual energy, and worry and thinking and starting to refocus it back to your PhD. Sometimes doing the grind type work, reading, and bouncing ideas off colleagues is actually enough to restart the passion for the research. I personally have experienced the lack of drive on a long term project, but it came back towards the end.
Wish you the best! Just try to stay positive because you are already doing great by being so far into a PhD program and actively addressing your issues.
I agree with u/EeveeBixy
I am in therapy also partly due to an addiction. The best tip my therapist gave was to instead of mentally punishing myself, set rewards for meeting goals.
If I made it through the day without indulging, I order a taxi home from work. If I manage a week, I treat myself with a salon appointment. Honestly, works like a charm.
I don’t, that would be extremely counterproductive at least in my case. I try to reward myself with things that feel good and are beneficial to me and my goals
Seriously stop kicking your ass about it. That's legitimately step 1 to this kind of thing. If you sit around kicking your ass and making yourself feel bad, you're only making it worse.
This is actually important. Many people think they have a "porn addiction" when. What they really struggle with is guilt and scrupulosity issues about behavior that is relatively normal. Even if OP is jerking it 5 times/day and it's not getting in the way of other daily tasks or general enjoyment of life, it's not an addiction issue, it's the depression caused by unnecessarily beating yourself up about being a human being with a sex drive. Especially in religious contexts a lot of people have issues like this. Most experts on this issue agree that whole porn addiction does exist, it is far rarer than the number of normal healthy people who use porn but feel guilty about it and call it addiction for religious or other moralizing reasons.
Have you tried hypnosis or other ways to understand the root cause of the addiction? I had eating disorder for over 20 years and only cured myself when I removed the root cause from my life.
Proper Clinical Hypnotherapy (not stage hypnosis) from a trained Psychologist/Therapist is actually pretty effective for addictions.
[https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1330238/full](https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1330238/full)
Used to work with smokers, and the most effective single-dose treatment was hypnotherapy by far.
I think "pretty effective" is overstating it a bit. Most of the effect sizes in that paper are small or very small for smoking cessation, and/or have wide CIs
A line of inquiry for you might be medications that address compulsion and anxiety. Lots of things available to you with proven track history of addressing the dopamine hits your seeking. Basically addressing the chemical basis for any type of substance use. Tons of peer review on this. And personally I find it reassuring to think of addiction as chemical seeking behavior instead of moralizing it.
PhD studies are hard enough. Wishing you the best. You can do it.
I agree. I have ADHD, which is a co-morbidity factor to a lot of other mental illness, including addictions. Being out of my meds for 4 years, when I am under stress, I tend to develop anxious and compulsive behavior which can easily lead to substance abuse, or else, if not kept in check.
Therapy, especially with a psychanalyst or the like, is not enough to get through these most of the time. Meds and support groups were more effective for me.
Not saying you’re referring to stimulants or adhd directly, but I’m not sure what else there is. Stimulants can be a double edged sword. On them maybe your impulse control is better, but when you crash, speaking from experience, you’re in a dopamine deficient state that can make the impulse control potentially worse. Not to mention some people get insane labido on stimulants, especially if the dose is on the upper end.
On them I’m ok, but crashing, porn, food, nicotine, video games, whatever other maladaptive coping mechanisms you use unmedicated can be worse if you don’t find healthier ones.
No I’m not referring to stimulants or adhd. I would never recommend substances with addictive profiles to someone with a substance use disorder. I’m speaking to research on substance use disorders specifically.
And as a necessary caveat, I’m not making a medical recommendation: there’s ssri’s, atypical anti depressants, Buspar, and a combination of these. Buspar is well researched when it comes to addiction, has no addictive impact, and doesn’t have sexual side effects. If the theory is that low dopamine creates the drive for addictive materials, increasing the brain’s dopamine resolves the urge toward substances of many kinds, treating the use disorder at the root.
Seeking out a psychiatrist with specialization in these disorders is a vital part of a treatment plan alongside other types of therapy. Hope that helps.
I guess I should have clarified, if op is adhd or suspects undiagnosed, stimulants may be a good or bad thing. If they don’t, obviously taking speed off label is a slippery slope lol.
Interestingly enough there’s good research pointing to people who have adhd actually being less likely to engage in addictive behaviors when treated with stimulants.
I was also curious about what you’re aware of as a starting point for personal discussion with my psychiatrist. Buspar would be pretty viable since it increases dopamine (just made me super angry). SSRIs didn’t kill my labido but made me more numb and depressed. Unfortunately I’ve tried just about everything. Naltrexone is the only drug I’ve seen specifically prescribed for porn or other addictive behavior.
I’ve seen a lot of love for buspar over on r/psychiatry actually and I think it’s gaining popularity again.
I think I would disagree with the sentiment that in the US trends are determined by advertising, in my limited personal experience engaging with and being treated by mental health professionals. I think that may have been the case In The 90s and early 2000s with SSRIs and opioid prescriptions, but everything I’ve been prescribed is typically older and dirt cheap. I think modern younger and middle aged psychiatrists are more concerned with “what works in clinical practice and what is accessible to patients with poor or no insurance”. I’ve had to bring up newer expensive medications with my doctor and she’s always been hesitant because they may require a PA, be super expensive, or clinically they don’t have experience administering it (thankfully she’s always eager to learn and expand her knowledge). Buspar, lamotrigine, lithium, fluoxetine are all dirt cheap and very common here in the US. Unfortunately it comes down to what your insurance will cover here, and they like covering your $2.35 lithium or buspar rather than shelling out $600+ for newer meds like Viibryd or Trintellix (I actually kind of like Viibryd for awhile). In addition there’s the issue with continuing care if your employer changes their insurance coverage. Maybe you’re doing great on Viibryd and now it’s not covered. Now you get to have hellish withdrawal symptoms and the doctor has to stabilize a patient and find something else that works.
TLDR: In the US you get the cheapest shit because insurance says they’re not paying for new formularies.
Im assuming by specialist you mean a psychiatrist. I think one should work with a psychiatrist exclusively for these matters. GPs are not really equipped to handle something as nuanced as addiction or anything beyond mild cases of depression and anxiety.
I appreciate the offer, but I think my med journey is mostly done in terms of antidepressants or nootropics. Always interesting to read research on them though. I’ve tried about everything I dare stomach (20+ meds) and have kind of accepted that I’m one of the unfortunate cases where they’re not going to help, or the side effects won’t outweigh the benefits. I think that acceptance has finally made me willing to look inward and address some deeper issues I’ve been avoiding for years, so hopefully I’m on the right path.
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Yeah, ozempic/wegovy might do the trick.
It's not "dopamine hits" anyone is "seeking". Dopamine is seeking and uncertainty of reward. It's a plasticizer for reward circuits, NOT a reward chemical. Getting a predictable reward releases (essentially) NO dopamine.
If your mental health is getting to the point where it’s ruining your academics, then you need to focus on your mental health. Pause your PhD for a second to focus on getting yourself back to a healthy place
This is the way. I had to take care of myself first before anything else could really be done. Bad SUD, many rehabs. Addictions are chronic relapsing disorders, a relapse is not a failure, it’s part of progress.
I took a few years off from school (not by choice, mind you) to get right. When I got back to it, I was amazed how much easier it was than I remembered it being. Yes it took a lot of time for me to figure things out. but that time investment i put into myself has allowed me 13 years if success so far and will continue to pay dividends for the rest of my life as long as I keep putting my spiritual and mental health first.
Wishing you the best in whatever you decide is the right path for you. DM me if you want to talk ❤️✌🏼
This is more of a parallel issue to yours, but I'd say that I'm almost cripplingly addicted to media consumption in general. It's taken different forms throughout the years. 18-~23 it was reddit, 22-26 it was youtube. Now it's podcasts. I'll listen to podcasts for most of my waking hours and it just shuts my fucking brain off. I can't have thoughts, I don't engage with the world around me in a meaningful way.
It feels like I've lit a decade of my life on fire, more or less. And people don't take my problem seriously because I outwardly present as having my shit together and "excessive media consumption" doesn't have the same cultural taboo as other addictions like alcoholism.
I've coped by doing manic bursts of work for about a day or two once every couple of weeks. It tricks my advisor into thinking I'm doing work and has gotten me to limp enough papers across the finish line to stay employed. The manic work bursts are amazingly fun. I wish every day could be like that.
Sorry I'm dumping this diary entry on your post asking for help. Just feels like we've got kind of related issues. Good luck <3
My experience has been so close to yours. I used to have those manic bursts of work in the beginning but then towards the latter part of my PhD life, even those disappeared. (I once wrote a whole paper draft in 30 hours, no sleep. I took breaks, yes, but didn't sleep)
I would also describe myself as indulging in excessive media consumption. For me, it's YouTube. Lately, I have begun to realize how addicting it is because it allows my mind to engage with something all the time.
Can you tell me more about manic burst? I feel like I'm exactly in the same situation. Lots of media consumption. And I enjoy it a lot when I have a long working day. I just can't keep it regular.
"manic work binges" are really not something I'd recommend. It's just the way that I cope with myself.
Basically, once every couple weeks, I'll have a period of a couple days where I get like 8-12 hours of quality work done. Most days I do 0-2 hours of actual work.
I don't have a good way of harnessing that. It just seems to happen when it happens, which SUCKS.
a couple things that have helped me:
* Potentially get an ADHD diagnosis. It's controversial, but 6x a week adderall basically cures this issue for me. The downside is that it really affects my quality of sleep, so YMMV.
* Try to set up some social structure. I have a few triggers that will put me into "work mode". Working outside of my normal environment (e.g. a friend's house, a coffee shop, etc), having social pressure (e.g. working with a friend), and having structure (e.g. a friend checking in with me every week on what my goals are) is VERY helpful. I'm less likely to media binge if I'm around people.
* TODO lists and schedules are also very helpful for me. I'm a lot less likely to media binge if I can easily think of what I need to do for that day. The hard thing for me is being consistent with it. I still haven't figured out how to be consistent with it.
You should try an app called Toggl, where you track what you’ve done throughout the day. It can really help reign in “lost time” activities where you can easily lose track of how long you’ve been doing it.
get on lexapro lol. your habit will no longer be possible
edit to explain: lexapro will take most of the pleasure out of masturbating which usually is a frustrating side effect, but in your case sounds like it would be perfect
Just throwing this out there. Please be careful about what you take.
https://www.reddit.com/r/malementalhealth/comments/xk6w94/post\_ssri\_sexual\_dysfunction\_pssd\_has\_ruined\_my/
Tangentially - I couldn't believe my psychiatrist failed to mention this. Also, she said sexual side effects were rare, but literally everyone I know on it has them . I lost a lot of confidence in her recommendations and communication over this.
It's about as effective as getting exercise based on the current studies and for people without serious neurochemical imbalances it's mostly working through an active placebo effect. They're good for the ~10% of depressed people who are suffering from something innate and not environmental but otherwise theres little evidence for their efficacy outside of trials funded by pharma. People take them because they're prescribed, it's the same reason so many people took oxycontin, even without prescriptions people constantly take the phenylephrine Sudafed replacement that's been found to be totally bunk, I've taken it myself tons of times and just assumed it was working.
Mixed up a couple of things. Roughly 10-20% of the average effect of SSRIs can reliably be explained by the chemistry instead of the active placebo effect. I was misremembering that as roughly 10-20% of people with depression have a serotonin imbalance that SSRI's fix, but I was a couple years out of date and it seems the neurotransmitter imbalance hypothesis has been thoroughly debunked.
I'm sure someone's figure out a robust number based on genetic correlations and the increase in depression rates. Environmental change is happening orders of magnitude faster than genetic changes so it's pretty reasonable that the vast majority of the increase in depression is caused by environmental factors. Hell we're in the PhD subreddit half the people I know are on antidepressants but only started because of how much their lives suck in a PhD/
Also we agree that it's effective for people with serious depression. This study contains some relevant results: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5322850/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5322850/)My takeaway from this study is that the science would suggest it is highly effective at treating depression. This is clearly way more effective than 'getting exercise'. That comment may have been in reference to the other 90% though, i'm not sure
>Adult patients with MDD and anxiety symptoms (Montgomery–Asberg Depression Rating Scale \[MADRS\] ≥22 and Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale \[HAM-A\] ≥14) were enrolled and received escitalopram (10–20 mg/day) treatment for 24 weeks. Symptom status was assessed by MADRS, 17-item-Hamilton Depression Rating Scale, HAM-A, and Clinical Global Impression Scale at baseline and the following visits
>
>Results:After 24 weeks of treatment, 73.3% patients achieved remission (MADRS ≤10 and HAM-A ≤7)
"In contrast, we found some forms of exercise to have stronger effects than SSRIs alone. Our findings are likely related to the larger power in our review (n=14 170) compared with previous reviews (eg, n=2551),14 and our ability to better account for heterogeneity in exercise prescriptions. Exercise may therefore be considered a viable alternative to drug treatment. "
https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-075847#:\~:text=Previous%20reviews%20on%20those%20with,stronger%20effects%20than%20SSRIs%20alone.
Hi, as someone else who struggled with this due to a past involving sexual trauma, I completely understand you and my heart goes out to you. You need a therapist involved with obsessive compulsive disorders and able to get to the root cause of why this energy manifests the way it does. Something that helped me was understanding why dogs hump all the time - they are both overstimulated, and understimulated. It’s an anxiety response to something being out of order but not knowing what. Learning to say no, to fortify your boundaries, and get rid of the lingering shame and guilt around sex can help you reintegrate your sexual identity. We all have sexual identities, and it sounds like yours is similarly linked to a shame response due to underperforming in your PhD. While others may resort to alcohol or drugs, yours manifests differently, and that’s ok. Get the help you need, but also remember that you CAN gain back control. You CAN change this.
Yes. I've asked for help to my therapist and my partner. I've also extensively discussed this with my friends. Finally, I also did tantra, which massively helped me channel my sexual energy differently. Still a struggle some day, but I'm no longer hindered by it when working. Good luck!
I've been introduced to tantra by an acquaintance (i'm EU), and I have done the same for multiple of my friends. I think the easiest way to find an adequate tantric teacher would simply be to try a few different ones and see who you prefer, I find that the way each teacher works is so different that it's basically about what you need and want at that specific time (I've had experiences with four different tantric teacher and I ended up always coming back to the first one). I highly recommend it, we're in such a sexualised society that tackling (spiritual) development through owning one's sexuality is so beneficial.
Step one: realize that you are using porn as medicine for neurotransmitter release.
Step two: realize that it is absolutely okay to take care of yourself and your need for dopamine, or pain relief, or stress relief, whatever it is that you are after. Saying you have a porn addiction is in my eyes saying "I feel unwell, but I want to ignore my feelings in favor of something easier."
Step three: realize that orgasms are a double edged sword, because eventually, your body has to use immense amounts of energy to "refill the tank".
Step four: outsmart your animal brain. Animal brain will always lean towards food, sex, sleep. Figure out what your human brain wants, and try to distinguish the difference.
Step five: try flex walking. Find a hallway, take a huge breath in and hold it. Walk down the hallway. You should be able to feel your lungs press against your core muscles and your organs. Flex your muscles as you walk and just feel it out. You might look ridiculous but it will give you nearly the same amount of endorphins as an organ without the crash.
<3 remember that we want you to succeed! Best of luck 🍀
Your mental health comes first. Believe me, the earlier you move away from research to focus on yourself, the better. If mental health is impacting your ability to work, stop working. Take up a lighter job, get better, and then if you still feel that a PhD is worth pursuing go for it. I ignored my mental health for a long time and the end result was that I had to quit my PhD after seven years and go back to my home country to recuperate. It's been 1.5 years since I quit but I haven't fully healed yet. The longer you push it away the longer it will take to heal.
I haven't faced this problem myself but masturbation might be a response to the anxiety created due to others' expectations from you, and pornography is a powerful simulation of acceptance and intimacy. When the pressure to perform lifts after you quit, you might feel less anxious and more able to stay away from this addiction.
It’s a stressful time in your life and this is one of your maladaptive coping skills. What have you tried doing when you’re feeling impulsive? Also, I recommend trying group therapy. It’s intimidating to think about and go but it’s really nice being around people who share a similar struggle. Wish you the best through this time. You clearly have tenacity and will power. You can do this!
A little context - what do you mean by relapses? Do you just mean times you masturbated?
How often are you watching porn/masturbating in a given week? Is it the thoughts themselves or the masturbation that's getting in the way of completing your goals?
Yeah this is insane. Like I am sure something is wrong with him, but it’s not a porn addiction. It is whatever is convincing him that he has a debilitating porn addiction that is forcing him to drop out of his PhD. Seriously you could watch 3 hours of porn a day, and that’s very excessive, but you could still get everything done that you need to.
I mean it's possible he's some extreme case that's watching porn like 12 hours a day, every day. But the way he worded things... it sounds like he's masturbated a few times (like an absolutely normal person), and feels **super** **super** **super** guility about it, to the point where it is causing him mental anguish.
Like... he's attending rehab sessions about it? That... doesn't sound like a normal thing to exist.
Porn addition is often a socially driven issue: it's a problem because you feel guilty over our partner, or because you think it "might be ruining your PhD". It's definitely a compulsive behavior, but unlike other non-substance addictions, like gambling, it's not recognized in the latest DSM.
Yep, you should join Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA). Join a single-gender group. Ie if you're a straight female, go to an all-female group, if you're a straight male go to an all-male group (so there's no chance to date people in the group). These groups are free! Work the steps, it works. Also, get a therapist specializing in sex and love addiction.
To whatever extent you believe in quantitative methods, the research does not really support the Existence of porn addiction. At the very least, the notion is highly controversial. Much has been written about this. It is easy to find. And there is no research supporting the effectiveness of any sort of treatment for “porn addiction”. Which might be why you are chronically relapsing. The only Professionals who believe in “porn addiction” are the ones who are making money off of supposedly treating it. Try looking for a therapist who has a better understanding Hypersexuality, compulsive sexual behavior, or whatever it actually is.
Realest comment! Oscar Wilde had said the best way to avoid a temptation is to yield. By embracing it, and focusing on something else thereafter simply helps one to cleave the whole guilt idea and “addiction” idea. It was a sexual need and you gratified it, how about you move to something else for the time being?…
I think the issue is that gratifying it for some people means spending 10 plus hours on it day in and day out. Sure thee are plenty of religious nuts and puritans our there guilt tripping people for moderate usage. But there are also extreme addicts wasting there entire lives to it.
I'm bulimic if that helps?
I've mostly been ok through the PhD - the biggest relapse I had was during a period where I had to switch advisors due to circumstances beyond my control, but I switched meds and have been doing better.
The best thing for me is routine - I take my meds at breakfast because then it forces me to eat something (and also not throw up). I have alarms on my phone or in my calendar for snack times. I have days I'm at work, at the library, at home, and I am RIGID about them. Idk if that will work for your addiction, but it also helps me to notice when I'm not doing so good and arrest behaviour before it gets bad (eg if I'm desperate to skip a library day I probably have something else going on mental and need to sort it out)
Good luck, OP - you've got this! If nothing else, remind yourself that your perspective is necessary and we need people who see the world differently in academia, so on behalf of all the people with your condition it's valuable that you succeed.
I'm not a porn addict, but I have one more idea to add to the pool, based on my Ph.D. experience in general. Go to any doctor, explain your situation, and ask them to write you a letter recommending that you take a term off, for health related reasons. The letter may also include a statement that if they really need to know the details, they can contact the doctor. Then ask the university for a leave of absence and give them the letter as the official reason. If you study in one of the western countries, they will not ignore that and there will not be any negative repercussions for your Ph.D. Once you have that, write a plan of what you want to do with your free time to really focus on yourself and make yourself feel better. Some ideas include - joining a sports club, book club, travel to 5 countries, or read Shakespeare. It's really up to you and in the end it doesn't matter that much, In the end the biggest challenge will be to get your body used to healthy habits and connect with people regularly. It's important that you pick something that you will have to do at least few times a week without skipping any single time. Once you see that going to play volleyball with people once a week, every single week, when you're out of shape and it's raining outside, is actually extremely difficult by itself, even when you have nothing else going on, then I think you'll be on the right track to start tackling the problem. Otherwise I'd venture to say that you're simply taking too much on yourself at once, and it's very hard to beat any addiction in such state.
OP this seems really helpful! You have something getting in the way of your career and your life and you need to give yourself time to sort that out, BUT like ^ said, you need to be prepared to fill your time with other things.
I can’t see a path where living with this addiction and struggling to get your PhD done is sustainable. Putting it into on pause for a semester to start getting clear about your health is recommended (just one semester or a year, don’t pause indefinitely, and be intentional that this break is for learning and healing).
For p×rn addiction, i find that living with a roommate helps alot in preventing you from watching and mast×bating to p×rn. So get yourself a roommate . You can get yourself a dog also in addition to the roommate to give you companion. It will also give you something to take care of and be responsible for .
Bupropion(welbutrin 300ml XL) can also help you prevent p×rn addiction . Its helps you keep your mind your off p×rn . Dont take it everyday like in the case of a depressed person . Just take like 3 times a week . And gradually reduce it .
Trust me it works . I have battled with the same . I am now free off it.
Summary: roomate , dog very important part . Bupropion(300mg XL) helps with motivation and also takes your mind off of p×rn.
And avoid drinking coffee. Coffee is bad for p×rn addiction 😅. It sound wierd that im mentioning coffee but trust me . You will thank me later. And plus Bupropion is far better than coffe for concentration and and energy anyways.
I hope this helps you like it helped me .
One more thing high intensity cardio in the evening always helps you get rid of excess energy and sleep better .
Adios Muchachos
What is your area of research? Is it possible to incorporate your therapy into your studies to some degree?
I know addiction can be a difficult thing to grapple with, and some people need to be far from their focus. But some people benefit from seeing how it impacts others who are further down the rabbit hole than themselves.
So, if you are doing pharmaceuticals, technology, marketing, or sociology in some form, maybe you can have your PhD focus on other porn addicts? Probably quite a few other fields could study it in some manner. You obviously lose some objectivity in the topic research, but you also gain some insights. So long as you disclose your relationship with the issue, the readers of your work can decide for themselves your validity and reliability.
You would benefit from having more support. [Here is a list of meetings to consider.](https://www.billherring.com/comparing-sex-addiction-12-step-meetings)
I created more accomplishable goals like gym for half an hour, walking for 6000 steps and writing 5 pages . This imparted new habits into me which eventually replaced desire to watch it.
Wait - there’s rehab for porn addiction? Don’t get me wrong - not downplaying at all. Porn addiction is just as devastating as drugs can be. I mean it is like a drug, right?
I know from experience. I’ve been a porn addict for idk since I got married.
Has the term “dopamine deficiency” been brought up in conversation between you and your health professionals? If not, I recommend starting the conversation. I had similar issues for a lifetime, and during covid times, I got into a very low place finally prompting me to seek counseling. Within a few weeks, the conversation shifted from anxiety to dopamine, and that cascaded into a series of effective treatments that turned my life around. Whether your problems are the same as mine or not, I wish you nothing but an effective solution. Best of luck! ✌️
honestly, the thing that nipped that problem in the bud for me was medically transitioning because estrogen totally changed how my sex drive works, but I can’t recommend that to random cis guys for obvious reasons. maybe there are other things that would specifically kill your sex drive though? like naturally lowering your testosterone with spearmint tea and black licorice
I’m in recovery and had 9 years sobriety and relapsed during grad school. I had to take a year off. I’m back and now I’m graduating on Dec. you can do it.
It's hard to write this without accidentally coming off as condescending. You're obviously an ambitious person and you know about the scientific method. Have you looked into whether or not you truly have an addiction? If you have a true medically relevant addiction, it's keeping you from succeeding in daily life. Please note that looking at nude women or sex is normal for red blooded males and you can still achieve any goal without denying your nature. I hope you are able to distinguish between culturally constructed guilt and an addiction.
I’m someone who has been around PhDs and Post docs long enough to know what issues they deal with. So here are some suggestions that have helped people I’ve been around with.
Seeing a documentary about the underbelly of the porn industry can show how exploitative it is(even the consensual ones; ex: Hot Girls Wanted is a good documentary with actual people who got sucked into it) and might help you get out of that rut. A movie is “the Whistleblower” about how UN contractors were involved in trafficking in war-torn nations and how one woman tried to expose that.
Do some quality study breaks by going out and eating in a restaurant/diner or taking a walk or finding someone to play board games with.
PhD can be a very lonely pursuit. Try to find other fellow PhDs or PostDocs to hang out with and do fun stuff with whenever you get breaks. Having a PhD support group is paramount. Addiction to porn can be due to some lack of general social stimulation but I’m not a therapist.
Also, try negative reinforcement therapy by yourself. Anytime you think of porn, think of how the women and men are exploited in that industry and how it is associated with trafficking or imagine vomit (or something which repulses you). Imagining vomit/something repulsive can also affect your future approach to intimacy which can be a part of your future life, so be aware of it.
These are some approaches by yourself.
Talking with a therapist is very helpful as they suggest the right approaches to take that are really helpful, if you have that access or the resources.
You got this.
Dopamine in the brain is central to addiction. You can increase dopamine in other ways by exercising, meditating, and doing different activities every time you have the urge to watch that stuff. Research other ways to increase dopamine.
This will sound like a joke, but it's not. Try taking magic mushrooms, NOT microdose, find someone who is suited to guide you. Follow the rule of "set & setting", lay down and meditate on the nature of your porn addiction and what drove you to the thesis, during the trip. Those journeys are immanent and powerful, just let yourself go in it. It will definitely help, at least, with the addiction (it might make you less interested in the research, or point you somewhere differently on it however).
Porn isn't addictive. If you stop looking at porn will you have physical withdrawals? If not then it's not an addiction. Straight up. Stop taking power away from yourself with the language you use. You're not addicted, point blank.
Do you have a compulsion? Probably. I don't know what your relationship is with porn, but if you can't complete the work you need to do at your program because you have to compulsively watch porn then I think that's reason to see a psychiatrist/psychologist because there's something deeper here than an "addiction" that fundamentalists want to convince you exists.
I used porn, food, and alcohol to cope with the negative emotions associated with seeking my masters and working full-time. The only way I've been able to quit is by limiting my exposure to anything that triggers [me.](https://me.You) Eventually, i quit my master's as it was just me wasting time getting slightly better at a career I'm not that interested in. You can quit porn if you're willing to make the neccessary sacrifices I had to limit my internet use in certain ways to change. Before it's over people often relapse several times that's just a part of the process but eventually the gaps between relapses get longer and longer. I'm christian so I follow some of the christian Nofap communities but I'm sure there are various alternatives where you can get support.
Take small steps to break the cycle of addiction. Cold Turkey would never work. I myself have tried it and have same dilemma of addictions myself. I am a PhD student myself, but I do not punish myself by thinking that I have done something wrong.
PhD itself is a slow journey. Do not put yourself in pressure, the outcome of small steps always come in the form of big leaps my fella. Have a great time.
You aren't a porn addict. It sounds like your thoughts are dominated by the thought of becoming someone who never watches porn again and it has consumed you. Almost as if you are addicted to stopping all porn use. I did this when I was younger and I defined myself by how long it had been since my last use. This was horrible for my mental health I diminished myself to being nothing but a porn addict. The second I viewed myself as a completely normal person with a normal person problem who was a much more complex person. My addiction improved significantly.
Emdr therapy! Consider a treatment facility… or asking a loved one to house you for a month just to start. Travel somewhere new? Bc maybe… you want to meet more people and be seen as the whole you not just the you with your concerns! Just thoughts! A lot of people have vices they feel shame about to deal with the wreckage this life put them through. It’s not necessarily shameful to be where you are! In fact, you are in a pivotal moment where you’re choosing your values and that’s something you can always be proud of. Even if it feels like you’re giving up or grieving a past version of yourself. This is your time and your life. I hear duloxetine decreases libido
Am I understanding this correctly? You told your academic advisor that you struggle with a porn addiction???
If you can do that you can literally accomplish anything…
Best advice I can give is this:
#1: realize that porn is a lie. It's training you to believe something that's not factually true in order to experience pleasure. The truth is that women are just normal people and that they want a man who can take care of them and appreciate them. They aren't obsessed with sex and surely don't think so dirty (most don't). The ideas we get from porn are simply fabricated lies about women. Women don't enjoy sex and all sorts of dirty things. They enjoy love and intimacy which is very different -- it's all about the connection and love between two people and nothing about the physical stimulation.
#2: realize that you are valuable and the seed you hold is extremely valuable and should be saved for building the next generation rather than for experiencing pleasure. Realize that pleasure in and of itself is completely meaningless. Eating a nice bowl of mac and cheese has no purpose unless you are doing it to fuel your body energy wise (in which case you can pick healthier food). Sex for pleasure is completely meaningless unless you're doing it to make another human.
#3: try switching to a low carb or zero carb diet. I know it sounds crazy, but I can attest to it. It trains you in discipline and lowers libido. Fasting a couple times a week can also help massively in my opinion. The more you can abstain from your urges to eat or to experience other forms of pleasure, it will be easier to abstain from porn and masturbation.
#4: obviously try your best to abstain from looking at inappropriate images or any stimuli (audio, visual, etc). If you struggle with this, just tell yourself that you're not cutting any of this out for good, just for TODAY. And then tomorrow say that you're just holding off for a couple days or a week. You will see how after a week it will be SUBSTANTIALLY easier to abstain. Use the same tricks your brain uses to get you to relapse... but use it to get yourself to not relapse ;)
#5: find a goal or deeper purpose for yourself ... whether through meditation, religion, etc. When you realize that you're here for more than just to make money, eat, and sleep, you start to act on a higher level. A driven person will not have time to spend on addiction.
Lastly, just know that you can do it. I'm speaking from experience. I'm a student and have been super addicted to this thing for so long. I've gotten better and better over time by just continuing to try and try and try. Never give up! It's not easy, but you're super strong and can conquer this thing.
You know that porn addiction is not a real thing right?
There might be a pattern of unhealthy behaviour apparent but not an addition in the psychological terminology. You say you are in therapy for it, - I believe therapy is usually helpful but might you describe what exactly is going on?
This is not written with the intent to diminish your situation but most information about "porn addiction" is usually religious propaganda
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too
This of course is not one source that alone proves my position but according to my knowledge most associations of psychologists agree with me.
Anything can be an addiction - the DSM is rather flexible with “non substance use behavioral addictions.” They recently even added Internet Gaming Disorder along with gambling. And pretty much any behavior if repetitive done to a level of occupational impairment and distress is considered clinically an addiction. So as OP has suggested - causing severe occupational impairment and detrimental to their health would classify their porn addiction as a real disorder. Now is the disorder being strengthened by feeding into it through a self-fulfilling prophecy? That is to be decided… and there are various therapies that deal with it. But yeah - if it’s a dysfunctional schema that’s leading to a perpetual cycle of distress and further engagement in the addictive behavior, you wouldn’t want to treat it like a substance use disorder, but instead through cognitive therapy, probably some motivational interviewing, and rationalization
How can it not be a real thing? What about the people who watch it for let's say 12 hrs a day then? Do you mean we just categorize those under general sex disorders or smtg?
As a dopamine addict (thanks ADHD), I must admit that all throughout my academic career, I could only focus while edging.
Instant access to pornography makes it easy to get that dopamine and endorphin button pumping. But it is far too easy to let it take control and let that take all of your time.
My main suggestion to OP: it would be best to lock your phone away for parts of the day. Have a machine that is solely dedicated to work.
And if you truly want to change your mindset:
Go on a meditation retreat.
Lock yourself in a room with nothing but books and notebooks for five days.
Go do a 5 strip with a friend you trust in the middle of the woods.
You should build a web app that detects porn on your screen and then replaces it with the data you should be looking at instead. Force the brain rewiring.
Porn addiction is an issue of motivation/reward. You need to find ways to shift the motivation to your work. It’s very difficult I know but it can be done. Sorry for the joke but it also could maybe work(?)
Did you explain to your supervisor that you are addicted to porn? And how the fuck he reacted?
Just try to go outside regularly, try to make women friends and realize that they are something more than a body.
Unfortunately, it looks like after the internet, society creates numerous addictions for the shake of capitalism and money, and they care very little if what they do is healthy. Especially, for kids who do not even know what sex is she they are exposed to sexual content, without knowing what they do to themselves.
Was on the same boat—are you religious by any chance? I used to use multiple times a day for a very long time (perhaps too long), but ended up turning to my faith once I realized it was a problem. Been 6 months since I quit. Had several close calls but whenever I start getting tempted, I’ll try my best to keep myself busy (e.g., praying, reading, work out, etc.).
I think religious inclination is a tenable way to battle addictions especially pornography. But you must realise that the concomitant guilt for every relapse seems to be worse than the addiction itself.
I would also suggest that replacing the addiction with another worthwhile activity can help, especially such a one that helps with the dopamine boosts. Talking to females even more can be an option.
I believe finding a significant other would be a solution. Any luck there? Are you even trying? For me, porn makes me not try to get girls as I would without it.
Don’t let the Christian anti-fap women fuck with your head. You’re not a porn addict unless you’re watching twelve hours a day. A little here and there is natural. I was admitted into a residential therapy program with a super comprehensive admission process, during which they do porn addiction screening, and they said consistently spending twelve hours a day watching porn is what they consider a porn addict.
i mean they did mention that they are constantly battling thoughts that are preventing them from meeting commitments… even if it’s not 12 hrs a day, it seems like it is a problem
Those thought are probably only there from guilt or religious trauma. The Christian anti-fap people conflate healthy libido (which is no more an addiction than needing H20 makes you an oxygen addict) with “porn addiction,” a specific thing which involves spending copious hours watching porn every day. This conflation is extremely damaging on men’s mental health if taken too far, which is probably what this guy is experiencing. The act of watching porn becomes rebellion against an inherently unjust world, rather than satisfaction of a libidinal urge. Once you take away the transgressive aspect, you no longer think about porn more than a monkey thinks about getting laid.
This is correct. The research on this is pretty clear. The single greatest predictor of “porn addiction” is religiosity. In fact the literature has shown there is little to no relationship with the actual behavior of looking at porn and “addiction”. It’s all about if you believe it is bad and the shame that comes from that belief. In other words, if you are christian you are more likely to believe that you are addicted even if you watch porn once a month than an atheist who looks at it daily. Additionally the number of people whose actual lives are negatively impacted by pornography (ie job loss, relationship issues) is amazingly low- even among those who claim to be addicted. Imagine if alcoholism was unrelated to the actual behavior of drinking but rather dependent on if you believe it was wrong.
So my brothers if you think you are addicted- you most likely aren’t- rather it’s your religion that is causing you pain. This was the case for me. I left my faith and have never been happier.
Here is some literature for you:
Perry, S. L., & Whitehead, A. L. (2019). Only bad for believers? Religion, pornography use, and sexual satisfaction among American men. The Journal of Sex Research, 56(1), 50-61.
Grubbs, J. B., Lee, B. N., Hoagland, K. C., Kraus, S. W., & Perry, S. L. (2020). Addiction or transgression? Moral incongruence and self-reported problematic pornography use in a nationally representative sample. Clinical Psychological Science, 8(5), 936-946.
Grubbs, J. B., & Gola, M. (2019). Is pornography use related to erectile functioning? Results from cross-sectional and latent growth curve analyses. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 16(1), 111-125.
Yeah I remember when I was religious (I'm old - the internet was still new, so this whole porn addiction stuff wasn't around yet) and I would masturbate, I'd feel AWFUL, and felt like negative things that happened in my life were due to it.
Eventually some years later stopped being religious, and now two decades later, it doesn't bother me even a little bit. I am successful, happy with my life, in a happy relationship and I still masturbate when I feel the need/want. Hasn't impacted my productivity at all.
I plowed threw this as a very very young person. An, it all came down to diefication. That slit/hole your obssesed with is a stinky crotch pit not the gates of heaven. The orgasum is a paltry reward for propogating the species.
When you start to think of it as a raw deal from nature. Lizard brain programing you would be better off without. You have a foot hold for moving past your addiction.
Continued diefication will move you back into addiction territory. Cupids poison arrow would be a great book for you to read. Also the female brain is a great read that is kinda In the same territory as this.
What is your gender ?
I hope you realize that the goal is not to stop porn/masturbation entirely but to get it under control. Meaning, set a goal to masturbate once a week (or whatever is doable), then do other more constructive things in between. You need an enjoyable life and goals outside of p/m then you can achieve stuff.
Check out Tim Fletcher on youtube, lots of comments saying after xx years with therapists and trying programs he was the only source to help them understand the root of the addiction issues.
No personal addiction issues but found him while researching narcissism, made the answers to questions I still had after going through top academics seem soo obvious, definitely worth your time. You’ve got this
How are you beating off so much and for so long? I assume you're a dude, doesn’t it hurt after a while? For me, if I worked out and did my work, I beat off that day. Never missed a day lol.
Lol it really is hard to understand. Although there is something so creepy about the way people talk about porn addiction or sex/love addiction. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out it is a weird fetish in itself.
I did not know this was really a thing until now. If this helps, I don’t watch porn, but if I happen to see it in web (I don’t use social media anymore besides Reddit), I perceive it as art and just see it from distance and forget it.
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Are you in therapy?
Yes, I am. But the progress is very slow especially since I keep relapsing. I feel under pressure to become clean, I´m running out of time.
Step 1 is not to beat yourself up about every relapse. It has already happened, and will continue to happen, because changing behavior takes time. Accept that you will make mistakes, but will use those as an opportunity to improve, slowly over time. Step 2 is taking all that sexual energy, and worry and thinking and starting to refocus it back to your PhD. Sometimes doing the grind type work, reading, and bouncing ideas off colleagues is actually enough to restart the passion for the research. I personally have experienced the lack of drive on a long term project, but it came back towards the end. Wish you the best! Just try to stay positive because you are already doing great by being so far into a PhD program and actively addressing your issues.
>Step 1 is not to beat yourself *Easier said than done!*
😉
I'm so glad to know that there are others like me.
😎
I agree with u/EeveeBixy I am in therapy also partly due to an addiction. The best tip my therapist gave was to instead of mentally punishing myself, set rewards for meeting goals. If I made it through the day without indulging, I order a taxi home from work. If I manage a week, I treat myself with a salon appointment. Honestly, works like a charm.
It seems like though you never use the addictive behavior itself as a reward correct?
I don’t, that would be extremely counterproductive at least in my case. I try to reward myself with things that feel good and are beneficial to me and my goals
Seriously stop kicking your ass about it. That's legitimately step 1 to this kind of thing. If you sit around kicking your ass and making yourself feel bad, you're only making it worse.
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>I'm curious, how many times do you jerk off a day? TMI! About this . . . I am *not* curious.
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>Some of us have inquisitive minds and what to explore all the mysteries the universe has to offer. Great! Enjoy!
This is actually important. Many people think they have a "porn addiction" when. What they really struggle with is guilt and scrupulosity issues about behavior that is relatively normal. Even if OP is jerking it 5 times/day and it's not getting in the way of other daily tasks or general enjoyment of life, it's not an addiction issue, it's the depression caused by unnecessarily beating yourself up about being a human being with a sex drive. Especially in religious contexts a lot of people have issues like this. Most experts on this issue agree that whole porn addiction does exist, it is far rarer than the number of normal healthy people who use porn but feel guilty about it and call it addiction for religious or other moralizing reasons.
>caused by unnecessarily beating yourself Oh, oh, oh!
Whats your exercise schedule looking like?
Have you tried hypnosis or other ways to understand the root cause of the addiction? I had eating disorder for over 20 years and only cured myself when I removed the root cause from my life.
Hypnosis is definitely not evidence based so while I’m happy whatever you did worked for you I would not recommend it to others.
Proper Clinical Hypnotherapy (not stage hypnosis) from a trained Psychologist/Therapist is actually pretty effective for addictions. [https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1330238/full](https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1330238/full) Used to work with smokers, and the most effective single-dose treatment was hypnotherapy by far.
I think "pretty effective" is overstating it a bit. Most of the effect sizes in that paper are small or very small for smoking cessation, and/or have wide CIs
A line of inquiry for you might be medications that address compulsion and anxiety. Lots of things available to you with proven track history of addressing the dopamine hits your seeking. Basically addressing the chemical basis for any type of substance use. Tons of peer review on this. And personally I find it reassuring to think of addiction as chemical seeking behavior instead of moralizing it. PhD studies are hard enough. Wishing you the best. You can do it.
I agree. I have ADHD, which is a co-morbidity factor to a lot of other mental illness, including addictions. Being out of my meds for 4 years, when I am under stress, I tend to develop anxious and compulsive behavior which can easily lead to substance abuse, or else, if not kept in check. Therapy, especially with a psychanalyst or the like, is not enough to get through these most of the time. Meds and support groups were more effective for me.
Yeah. Porn addiction is pretty strongly associated with anxiety reduction.
Not saying you’re referring to stimulants or adhd directly, but I’m not sure what else there is. Stimulants can be a double edged sword. On them maybe your impulse control is better, but when you crash, speaking from experience, you’re in a dopamine deficient state that can make the impulse control potentially worse. Not to mention some people get insane labido on stimulants, especially if the dose is on the upper end. On them I’m ok, but crashing, porn, food, nicotine, video games, whatever other maladaptive coping mechanisms you use unmedicated can be worse if you don’t find healthier ones.
No I’m not referring to stimulants or adhd. I would never recommend substances with addictive profiles to someone with a substance use disorder. I’m speaking to research on substance use disorders specifically. And as a necessary caveat, I’m not making a medical recommendation: there’s ssri’s, atypical anti depressants, Buspar, and a combination of these. Buspar is well researched when it comes to addiction, has no addictive impact, and doesn’t have sexual side effects. If the theory is that low dopamine creates the drive for addictive materials, increasing the brain’s dopamine resolves the urge toward substances of many kinds, treating the use disorder at the root. Seeking out a psychiatrist with specialization in these disorders is a vital part of a treatment plan alongside other types of therapy. Hope that helps.
I guess I should have clarified, if op is adhd or suspects undiagnosed, stimulants may be a good or bad thing. If they don’t, obviously taking speed off label is a slippery slope lol. Interestingly enough there’s good research pointing to people who have adhd actually being less likely to engage in addictive behaviors when treated with stimulants. I was also curious about what you’re aware of as a starting point for personal discussion with my psychiatrist. Buspar would be pretty viable since it increases dopamine (just made me super angry). SSRIs didn’t kill my labido but made me more numb and depressed. Unfortunately I’ve tried just about everything. Naltrexone is the only drug I’ve seen specifically prescribed for porn or other addictive behavior.
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I’ve seen a lot of love for buspar over on r/psychiatry actually and I think it’s gaining popularity again. I think I would disagree with the sentiment that in the US trends are determined by advertising, in my limited personal experience engaging with and being treated by mental health professionals. I think that may have been the case In The 90s and early 2000s with SSRIs and opioid prescriptions, but everything I’ve been prescribed is typically older and dirt cheap. I think modern younger and middle aged psychiatrists are more concerned with “what works in clinical practice and what is accessible to patients with poor or no insurance”. I’ve had to bring up newer expensive medications with my doctor and she’s always been hesitant because they may require a PA, be super expensive, or clinically they don’t have experience administering it (thankfully she’s always eager to learn and expand her knowledge). Buspar, lamotrigine, lithium, fluoxetine are all dirt cheap and very common here in the US. Unfortunately it comes down to what your insurance will cover here, and they like covering your $2.35 lithium or buspar rather than shelling out $600+ for newer meds like Viibryd or Trintellix (I actually kind of like Viibryd for awhile). In addition there’s the issue with continuing care if your employer changes their insurance coverage. Maybe you’re doing great on Viibryd and now it’s not covered. Now you get to have hellish withdrawal symptoms and the doctor has to stabilize a patient and find something else that works. TLDR: In the US you get the cheapest shit because insurance says they’re not paying for new formularies. Im assuming by specialist you mean a psychiatrist. I think one should work with a psychiatrist exclusively for these matters. GPs are not really equipped to handle something as nuanced as addiction or anything beyond mild cases of depression and anxiety. I appreciate the offer, but I think my med journey is mostly done in terms of antidepressants or nootropics. Always interesting to read research on them though. I’ve tried about everything I dare stomach (20+ meds) and have kind of accepted that I’m one of the unfortunate cases where they’re not going to help, or the side effects won’t outweigh the benefits. I think that acceptance has finally made me willing to look inward and address some deeper issues I’ve been avoiding for years, so hopefully I’m on the right path.
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Yeah, ozempic/wegovy might do the trick. It's not "dopamine hits" anyone is "seeking". Dopamine is seeking and uncertainty of reward. It's a plasticizer for reward circuits, NOT a reward chemical. Getting a predictable reward releases (essentially) NO dopamine.
If your mental health is getting to the point where it’s ruining your academics, then you need to focus on your mental health. Pause your PhD for a second to focus on getting yourself back to a healthy place
This is the way. I had to take care of myself first before anything else could really be done. Bad SUD, many rehabs. Addictions are chronic relapsing disorders, a relapse is not a failure, it’s part of progress. I took a few years off from school (not by choice, mind you) to get right. When I got back to it, I was amazed how much easier it was than I remembered it being. Yes it took a lot of time for me to figure things out. but that time investment i put into myself has allowed me 13 years if success so far and will continue to pay dividends for the rest of my life as long as I keep putting my spiritual and mental health first. Wishing you the best in whatever you decide is the right path for you. DM me if you want to talk ❤️✌🏼
This is more of a parallel issue to yours, but I'd say that I'm almost cripplingly addicted to media consumption in general. It's taken different forms throughout the years. 18-~23 it was reddit, 22-26 it was youtube. Now it's podcasts. I'll listen to podcasts for most of my waking hours and it just shuts my fucking brain off. I can't have thoughts, I don't engage with the world around me in a meaningful way. It feels like I've lit a decade of my life on fire, more or less. And people don't take my problem seriously because I outwardly present as having my shit together and "excessive media consumption" doesn't have the same cultural taboo as other addictions like alcoholism. I've coped by doing manic bursts of work for about a day or two once every couple of weeks. It tricks my advisor into thinking I'm doing work and has gotten me to limp enough papers across the finish line to stay employed. The manic work bursts are amazingly fun. I wish every day could be like that. Sorry I'm dumping this diary entry on your post asking for help. Just feels like we've got kind of related issues. Good luck <3
My experience has been so close to yours. I used to have those manic bursts of work in the beginning but then towards the latter part of my PhD life, even those disappeared. (I once wrote a whole paper draft in 30 hours, no sleep. I took breaks, yes, but didn't sleep) I would also describe myself as indulging in excessive media consumption. For me, it's YouTube. Lately, I have begun to realize how addicting it is because it allows my mind to engage with something all the time.
Can you tell me more about manic burst? I feel like I'm exactly in the same situation. Lots of media consumption. And I enjoy it a lot when I have a long working day. I just can't keep it regular.
"manic work binges" are really not something I'd recommend. It's just the way that I cope with myself. Basically, once every couple weeks, I'll have a period of a couple days where I get like 8-12 hours of quality work done. Most days I do 0-2 hours of actual work. I don't have a good way of harnessing that. It just seems to happen when it happens, which SUCKS. a couple things that have helped me: * Potentially get an ADHD diagnosis. It's controversial, but 6x a week adderall basically cures this issue for me. The downside is that it really affects my quality of sleep, so YMMV. * Try to set up some social structure. I have a few triggers that will put me into "work mode". Working outside of my normal environment (e.g. a friend's house, a coffee shop, etc), having social pressure (e.g. working with a friend), and having structure (e.g. a friend checking in with me every week on what my goals are) is VERY helpful. I'm less likely to media binge if I'm around people. * TODO lists and schedules are also very helpful for me. I'm a lot less likely to media binge if I can easily think of what I need to do for that day. The hard thing for me is being consistent with it. I still haven't figured out how to be consistent with it.
You should try an app called Toggl, where you track what you’ve done throughout the day. It can really help reign in “lost time” activities where you can easily lose track of how long you’ve been doing it.
get on lexapro lol. your habit will no longer be possible edit to explain: lexapro will take most of the pleasure out of masturbating which usually is a frustrating side effect, but in your case sounds like it would be perfect
Lexapro may be in my acknowledgments section
facts lol
Just throwing this out there. Please be careful about what you take. https://www.reddit.com/r/malementalhealth/comments/xk6w94/post\_ssri\_sexual\_dysfunction\_pssd\_has\_ruined\_my/
PSSD is really scary :\\
Yep. I was made aware of it on here some time ago, and now I feel obligated to mention it every time someone says, "Try taking \[insert SSRI here\]".
Tangentially - I couldn't believe my psychiatrist failed to mention this. Also, she said sexual side effects were rare, but literally everyone I know on it has them . I lost a lot of confidence in her recommendations and communication over this.
In my experience, doctors suck. I imagine the same is true (probably worse) for psychiatrists.
real shit
I know this is uncommon but for some reason lexapro made me so horny 🤣
Destroying sexual function is probably the only thing Lexapro actually does.
disagree. why are so many people on it if that's the case
It's about as effective as getting exercise based on the current studies and for people without serious neurochemical imbalances it's mostly working through an active placebo effect. They're good for the ~10% of depressed people who are suffering from something innate and not environmental but otherwise theres little evidence for their efficacy outside of trials funded by pharma. People take them because they're prescribed, it's the same reason so many people took oxycontin, even without prescriptions people constantly take the phenylephrine Sudafed replacement that's been found to be totally bunk, I've taken it myself tons of times and just assumed it was working.
What evidence do you have that only 10% of depressed people have innate depression? Where is that number coming from?
Mixed up a couple of things. Roughly 10-20% of the average effect of SSRIs can reliably be explained by the chemistry instead of the active placebo effect. I was misremembering that as roughly 10-20% of people with depression have a serotonin imbalance that SSRI's fix, but I was a couple years out of date and it seems the neurotransmitter imbalance hypothesis has been thoroughly debunked. I'm sure someone's figure out a robust number based on genetic correlations and the increase in depression rates. Environmental change is happening orders of magnitude faster than genetic changes so it's pretty reasonable that the vast majority of the increase in depression is caused by environmental factors. Hell we're in the PhD subreddit half the people I know are on antidepressants but only started because of how much their lives suck in a PhD/
Also we agree that it's effective for people with serious depression. This study contains some relevant results: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5322850/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5322850/)My takeaway from this study is that the science would suggest it is highly effective at treating depression. This is clearly way more effective than 'getting exercise'. That comment may have been in reference to the other 90% though, i'm not sure >Adult patients with MDD and anxiety symptoms (Montgomery–Asberg Depression Rating Scale \[MADRS\] ≥22 and Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale \[HAM-A\] ≥14) were enrolled and received escitalopram (10–20 mg/day) treatment for 24 weeks. Symptom status was assessed by MADRS, 17-item-Hamilton Depression Rating Scale, HAM-A, and Clinical Global Impression Scale at baseline and the following visits > >Results:After 24 weeks of treatment, 73.3% patients achieved remission (MADRS ≤10 and HAM-A ≤7)
"In contrast, we found some forms of exercise to have stronger effects than SSRIs alone. Our findings are likely related to the larger power in our review (n=14 170) compared with previous reviews (eg, n=2551),14 and our ability to better account for heterogeneity in exercise prescriptions. Exercise may therefore be considered a viable alternative to drug treatment. " https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-075847#:\~:text=Previous%20reviews%20on%20those%20with,stronger%20effects%20than%20SSRIs%20alone.
It takes the pleasure out of sex too? Or just masturbating?
Lex A. Pro porn star name?
Why the fuck would you recommend him drugs ??
maybe you didn't read my 'edit to explain'?
Hi, as someone else who struggled with this due to a past involving sexual trauma, I completely understand you and my heart goes out to you. You need a therapist involved with obsessive compulsive disorders and able to get to the root cause of why this energy manifests the way it does. Something that helped me was understanding why dogs hump all the time - they are both overstimulated, and understimulated. It’s an anxiety response to something being out of order but not knowing what. Learning to say no, to fortify your boundaries, and get rid of the lingering shame and guilt around sex can help you reintegrate your sexual identity. We all have sexual identities, and it sounds like yours is similarly linked to a shame response due to underperforming in your PhD. While others may resort to alcohol or drugs, yours manifests differently, and that’s ok. Get the help you need, but also remember that you CAN gain back control. You CAN change this.
Are you going to the gym regularly?!?! I highly recommend it for you to get your feel-good endorphins this way.
Yes. I've asked for help to my therapist and my partner. I've also extensively discussed this with my friends. Finally, I also did tantra, which massively helped me channel my sexual energy differently. Still a struggle some day, but I'm no longer hindered by it when working. Good luck!
How and where did you get to do tantra? I’m in similar situation and I’d be happy to try it.
I've been introduced to tantra by an acquaintance (i'm EU), and I have done the same for multiple of my friends. I think the easiest way to find an adequate tantric teacher would simply be to try a few different ones and see who you prefer, I find that the way each teacher works is so different that it's basically about what you need and want at that specific time (I've had experiences with four different tantric teacher and I ended up always coming back to the first one). I highly recommend it, we're in such a sexualised society that tackling (spiritual) development through owning one's sexuality is so beneficial.
Step one: realize that you are using porn as medicine for neurotransmitter release. Step two: realize that it is absolutely okay to take care of yourself and your need for dopamine, or pain relief, or stress relief, whatever it is that you are after. Saying you have a porn addiction is in my eyes saying "I feel unwell, but I want to ignore my feelings in favor of something easier." Step three: realize that orgasms are a double edged sword, because eventually, your body has to use immense amounts of energy to "refill the tank". Step four: outsmart your animal brain. Animal brain will always lean towards food, sex, sleep. Figure out what your human brain wants, and try to distinguish the difference. Step five: try flex walking. Find a hallway, take a huge breath in and hold it. Walk down the hallway. You should be able to feel your lungs press against your core muscles and your organs. Flex your muscles as you walk and just feel it out. You might look ridiculous but it will give you nearly the same amount of endorphins as an organ without the crash. <3 remember that we want you to succeed! Best of luck 🍀
Step four is so Dune coded
Your mental health comes first. Believe me, the earlier you move away from research to focus on yourself, the better. If mental health is impacting your ability to work, stop working. Take up a lighter job, get better, and then if you still feel that a PhD is worth pursuing go for it. I ignored my mental health for a long time and the end result was that I had to quit my PhD after seven years and go back to my home country to recuperate. It's been 1.5 years since I quit but I haven't fully healed yet. The longer you push it away the longer it will take to heal. I haven't faced this problem myself but masturbation might be a response to the anxiety created due to others' expectations from you, and pornography is a powerful simulation of acceptance and intimacy. When the pressure to perform lifts after you quit, you might feel less anxious and more able to stay away from this addiction.
It’s a stressful time in your life and this is one of your maladaptive coping skills. What have you tried doing when you’re feeling impulsive? Also, I recommend trying group therapy. It’s intimidating to think about and go but it’s really nice being around people who share a similar struggle. Wish you the best through this time. You clearly have tenacity and will power. You can do this!
get into a recovery group, work the steps, and hang in there. There is hope for freedom.
SA or SAA!
Started in SA 2 years ago and recently celebrated 1.5 years sober. Couldn't have done it any other way honestly.
Congratulations! Still fighting for sobriety. May God give me the serenity.
Like you’re doing your PHD on the Effects of Porn?
Are you in a support group? I’ve been going to SA meetings myself and it helps a lot, knowing you’re not alone can make a big difference!
[удалено]
>Hey man, same boat. in the OP's case, it is a tug boat
Come on man, not cool.
This whole thread is not cool.
A little context - what do you mean by relapses? Do you just mean times you masturbated? How often are you watching porn/masturbating in a given week? Is it the thoughts themselves or the masturbation that's getting in the way of completing your goals?
Yeah this is insane. Like I am sure something is wrong with him, but it’s not a porn addiction. It is whatever is convincing him that he has a debilitating porn addiction that is forcing him to drop out of his PhD. Seriously you could watch 3 hours of porn a day, and that’s very excessive, but you could still get everything done that you need to.
I mean it's possible he's some extreme case that's watching porn like 12 hours a day, every day. But the way he worded things... it sounds like he's masturbated a few times (like an absolutely normal person), and feels **super** **super** **super** guility about it, to the point where it is causing him mental anguish. Like... he's attending rehab sessions about it? That... doesn't sound like a normal thing to exist.
As I said before, “porn addiction” is not the real issue here.
Watching porn/something porn-related could be used as the basis for a dissertation?
Porn addition is often a socially driven issue: it's a problem because you feel guilty over our partner, or because you think it "might be ruining your PhD". It's definitely a compulsive behavior, but unlike other non-substance addictions, like gambling, it's not recognized in the latest DSM.
You could do a PhD in porn
There's actually a decent journal for that: https://www.tandfonline.com/journals/rprn20
I’m gonna read this
I've seen people claim to be "sex experts" or whatever with a PhD on TV before so I wouldn't be surprised if that is a thing.
Babe wake up new shit post just dropped.
Indeed! A lot of people took the (master)bait.
Yep, you should join Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA). Join a single-gender group. Ie if you're a straight female, go to an all-female group, if you're a straight male go to an all-male group (so there's no chance to date people in the group). These groups are free! Work the steps, it works. Also, get a therapist specializing in sex and love addiction.
I believe in you Dr.Goon!
How much makes you an addict? Asking for a friend
You can find out when you try to quit.
Solution: make your dissertation porn related, your addiction now serves a valid research purpose
Why don’t you just change your thesis to something porn-related?
Do psychedelics, they help with addictions
You knew going in that the Ph didn’t stand for Pornhub, right?
PhD = Pretty Huge D...
To whatever extent you believe in quantitative methods, the research does not really support the Existence of porn addiction. At the very least, the notion is highly controversial. Much has been written about this. It is easy to find. And there is no research supporting the effectiveness of any sort of treatment for “porn addiction”. Which might be why you are chronically relapsing. The only Professionals who believe in “porn addiction” are the ones who are making money off of supposedly treating it. Try looking for a therapist who has a better understanding Hypersexuality, compulsive sexual behavior, or whatever it actually is.
Sorry bro can't run the time point I have to go goon in the nmr room closet
Embrace the porn, then focus on your work. Everyone does it, they just don’t admit it.
Realest comment! Oscar Wilde had said the best way to avoid a temptation is to yield. By embracing it, and focusing on something else thereafter simply helps one to cleave the whole guilt idea and “addiction” idea. It was a sexual need and you gratified it, how about you move to something else for the time being?…
I think the issue is that gratifying it for some people means spending 10 plus hours on it day in and day out. Sure thee are plenty of religious nuts and puritans our there guilt tripping people for moderate usage. But there are also extreme addicts wasting there entire lives to it.
Oh true true
I'm bulimic if that helps? I've mostly been ok through the PhD - the biggest relapse I had was during a period where I had to switch advisors due to circumstances beyond my control, but I switched meds and have been doing better. The best thing for me is routine - I take my meds at breakfast because then it forces me to eat something (and also not throw up). I have alarms on my phone or in my calendar for snack times. I have days I'm at work, at the library, at home, and I am RIGID about them. Idk if that will work for your addiction, but it also helps me to notice when I'm not doing so good and arrest behaviour before it gets bad (eg if I'm desperate to skip a library day I probably have something else going on mental and need to sort it out) Good luck, OP - you've got this! If nothing else, remind yourself that your perspective is necessary and we need people who see the world differently in academia, so on behalf of all the people with your condition it's valuable that you succeed.
I'm not a porn addict, but I have one more idea to add to the pool, based on my Ph.D. experience in general. Go to any doctor, explain your situation, and ask them to write you a letter recommending that you take a term off, for health related reasons. The letter may also include a statement that if they really need to know the details, they can contact the doctor. Then ask the university for a leave of absence and give them the letter as the official reason. If you study in one of the western countries, they will not ignore that and there will not be any negative repercussions for your Ph.D. Once you have that, write a plan of what you want to do with your free time to really focus on yourself and make yourself feel better. Some ideas include - joining a sports club, book club, travel to 5 countries, or read Shakespeare. It's really up to you and in the end it doesn't matter that much, In the end the biggest challenge will be to get your body used to healthy habits and connect with people regularly. It's important that you pick something that you will have to do at least few times a week without skipping any single time. Once you see that going to play volleyball with people once a week, every single week, when you're out of shape and it's raining outside, is actually extremely difficult by itself, even when you have nothing else going on, then I think you'll be on the right track to start tackling the problem. Otherwise I'd venture to say that you're simply taking too much on yourself at once, and it's very hard to beat any addiction in such state.
OP this seems really helpful! You have something getting in the way of your career and your life and you need to give yourself time to sort that out, BUT like ^ said, you need to be prepared to fill your time with other things. I can’t see a path where living with this addiction and struggling to get your PhD done is sustainable. Putting it into on pause for a semester to start getting clear about your health is recommended (just one semester or a year, don’t pause indefinitely, and be intentional that this break is for learning and healing).
For p×rn addiction, i find that living with a roommate helps alot in preventing you from watching and mast×bating to p×rn. So get yourself a roommate . You can get yourself a dog also in addition to the roommate to give you companion. It will also give you something to take care of and be responsible for . Bupropion(welbutrin 300ml XL) can also help you prevent p×rn addiction . Its helps you keep your mind your off p×rn . Dont take it everyday like in the case of a depressed person . Just take like 3 times a week . And gradually reduce it . Trust me it works . I have battled with the same . I am now free off it. Summary: roomate , dog very important part . Bupropion(300mg XL) helps with motivation and also takes your mind off of p×rn. And avoid drinking coffee. Coffee is bad for p×rn addiction 😅. It sound wierd that im mentioning coffee but trust me . You will thank me later. And plus Bupropion is far better than coffe for concentration and and energy anyways. I hope this helps you like it helped me . One more thing high intensity cardio in the evening always helps you get rid of excess energy and sleep better . Adios Muchachos
You need r/nofap
Have you read easypeazy ? If you have and it has not worked, then I wish you good luck. If you have NOT read, you need to do it right away!!
What is this? I defended successfully 8 months ago, but now I’m curious if there is something that would have made things easier (easypeazier).
What is your area of research? Is it possible to incorporate your therapy into your studies to some degree? I know addiction can be a difficult thing to grapple with, and some people need to be far from their focus. But some people benefit from seeing how it impacts others who are further down the rabbit hole than themselves. So, if you are doing pharmaceuticals, technology, marketing, or sociology in some form, maybe you can have your PhD focus on other porn addicts? Probably quite a few other fields could study it in some manner. You obviously lose some objectivity in the topic research, but you also gain some insights. So long as you disclose your relationship with the issue, the readers of your work can decide for themselves your validity and reliability.
You would benefit from having more support. [Here is a list of meetings to consider.](https://www.billherring.com/comparing-sex-addiction-12-step-meetings)
Consider Chinese medicine
I created more accomplishable goals like gym for half an hour, walking for 6000 steps and writing 5 pages . This imparted new habits into me which eventually replaced desire to watch it.
Wait - there’s rehab for porn addiction? Don’t get me wrong - not downplaying at all. Porn addiction is just as devastating as drugs can be. I mean it is like a drug, right? I know from experience. I’ve been a porn addict for idk since I got married.
Has the term “dopamine deficiency” been brought up in conversation between you and your health professionals? If not, I recommend starting the conversation. I had similar issues for a lifetime, and during covid times, I got into a very low place finally prompting me to seek counseling. Within a few weeks, the conversation shifted from anxiety to dopamine, and that cascaded into a series of effective treatments that turned my life around. Whether your problems are the same as mine or not, I wish you nothing but an effective solution. Best of luck! ✌️
honestly, the thing that nipped that problem in the bud for me was medically transitioning because estrogen totally changed how my sex drive works, but I can’t recommend that to random cis guys for obvious reasons. maybe there are other things that would specifically kill your sex drive though? like naturally lowering your testosterone with spearmint tea and black licorice
I’m in recovery and had 9 years sobriety and relapsed during grad school. I had to take a year off. I’m back and now I’m graduating on Dec. you can do it.
It's hard to write this without accidentally coming off as condescending. You're obviously an ambitious person and you know about the scientific method. Have you looked into whether or not you truly have an addiction? If you have a true medically relevant addiction, it's keeping you from succeeding in daily life. Please note that looking at nude women or sex is normal for red blooded males and you can still achieve any goal without denying your nature. I hope you are able to distinguish between culturally constructed guilt and an addiction.
Dm me. I am 300+ days porn free. And 900+ days free of drugs. I’m a coach. I’ll get you out
do you have adhd
I’m someone who has been around PhDs and Post docs long enough to know what issues they deal with. So here are some suggestions that have helped people I’ve been around with. Seeing a documentary about the underbelly of the porn industry can show how exploitative it is(even the consensual ones; ex: Hot Girls Wanted is a good documentary with actual people who got sucked into it) and might help you get out of that rut. A movie is “the Whistleblower” about how UN contractors were involved in trafficking in war-torn nations and how one woman tried to expose that. Do some quality study breaks by going out and eating in a restaurant/diner or taking a walk or finding someone to play board games with. PhD can be a very lonely pursuit. Try to find other fellow PhDs or PostDocs to hang out with and do fun stuff with whenever you get breaks. Having a PhD support group is paramount. Addiction to porn can be due to some lack of general social stimulation but I’m not a therapist. Also, try negative reinforcement therapy by yourself. Anytime you think of porn, think of how the women and men are exploited in that industry and how it is associated with trafficking or imagine vomit (or something which repulses you). Imagining vomit/something repulsive can also affect your future approach to intimacy which can be a part of your future life, so be aware of it. These are some approaches by yourself. Talking with a therapist is very helpful as they suggest the right approaches to take that are really helpful, if you have that access or the resources. You got this.
Dopamine in the brain is central to addiction. You can increase dopamine in other ways by exercising, meditating, and doing different activities every time you have the urge to watch that stuff. Research other ways to increase dopamine.
This will sound like a joke, but it's not. Try taking magic mushrooms, NOT microdose, find someone who is suited to guide you. Follow the rule of "set & setting", lay down and meditate on the nature of your porn addiction and what drove you to the thesis, during the trip. Those journeys are immanent and powerful, just let yourself go in it. It will definitely help, at least, with the addiction (it might make you less interested in the research, or point you somewhere differently on it however).
Porn isn't addictive. If you stop looking at porn will you have physical withdrawals? If not then it's not an addiction. Straight up. Stop taking power away from yourself with the language you use. You're not addicted, point blank. Do you have a compulsion? Probably. I don't know what your relationship is with porn, but if you can't complete the work you need to do at your program because you have to compulsively watch porn then I think that's reason to see a psychiatrist/psychologist because there's something deeper here than an "addiction" that fundamentalists want to convince you exists.
I used porn, food, and alcohol to cope with the negative emotions associated with seeking my masters and working full-time. The only way I've been able to quit is by limiting my exposure to anything that triggers [me.](https://me.You) Eventually, i quit my master's as it was just me wasting time getting slightly better at a career I'm not that interested in. You can quit porn if you're willing to make the neccessary sacrifices I had to limit my internet use in certain ways to change. Before it's over people often relapse several times that's just a part of the process but eventually the gaps between relapses get longer and longer. I'm christian so I follow some of the christian Nofap communities but I'm sure there are various alternatives where you can get support.
Most normal reddittor
Take small steps to break the cycle of addiction. Cold Turkey would never work. I myself have tried it and have same dilemma of addictions myself. I am a PhD student myself, but I do not punish myself by thinking that I have done something wrong. PhD itself is a slow journey. Do not put yourself in pressure, the outcome of small steps always come in the form of big leaps my fella. Have a great time.
You aren't a porn addict. It sounds like your thoughts are dominated by the thought of becoming someone who never watches porn again and it has consumed you. Almost as if you are addicted to stopping all porn use. I did this when I was younger and I defined myself by how long it had been since my last use. This was horrible for my mental health I diminished myself to being nothing but a porn addict. The second I viewed myself as a completely normal person with a normal person problem who was a much more complex person. My addiction improved significantly.
Get on a high dose SSRI (esp Paxil) which can make it hard to orgasm and tends to lower libido quite a lot for most people
Emdr therapy! Consider a treatment facility… or asking a loved one to house you for a month just to start. Travel somewhere new? Bc maybe… you want to meet more people and be seen as the whole you not just the you with your concerns! Just thoughts! A lot of people have vices they feel shame about to deal with the wreckage this life put them through. It’s not necessarily shameful to be where you are! In fact, you are in a pivotal moment where you’re choosing your values and that’s something you can always be proud of. Even if it feels like you’re giving up or grieving a past version of yourself. This is your time and your life. I hear duloxetine decreases libido
BlockSite. Thank me later.
Am I understanding this correctly? You told your academic advisor that you struggle with a porn addiction??? If you can do that you can literally accomplish anything…
I suggest you start working out or finding some active hobbies that will keep you away from wanting to watch porn
Best advice I can give is this: #1: realize that porn is a lie. It's training you to believe something that's not factually true in order to experience pleasure. The truth is that women are just normal people and that they want a man who can take care of them and appreciate them. They aren't obsessed with sex and surely don't think so dirty (most don't). The ideas we get from porn are simply fabricated lies about women. Women don't enjoy sex and all sorts of dirty things. They enjoy love and intimacy which is very different -- it's all about the connection and love between two people and nothing about the physical stimulation. #2: realize that you are valuable and the seed you hold is extremely valuable and should be saved for building the next generation rather than for experiencing pleasure. Realize that pleasure in and of itself is completely meaningless. Eating a nice bowl of mac and cheese has no purpose unless you are doing it to fuel your body energy wise (in which case you can pick healthier food). Sex for pleasure is completely meaningless unless you're doing it to make another human. #3: try switching to a low carb or zero carb diet. I know it sounds crazy, but I can attest to it. It trains you in discipline and lowers libido. Fasting a couple times a week can also help massively in my opinion. The more you can abstain from your urges to eat or to experience other forms of pleasure, it will be easier to abstain from porn and masturbation. #4: obviously try your best to abstain from looking at inappropriate images or any stimuli (audio, visual, etc). If you struggle with this, just tell yourself that you're not cutting any of this out for good, just for TODAY. And then tomorrow say that you're just holding off for a couple days or a week. You will see how after a week it will be SUBSTANTIALLY easier to abstain. Use the same tricks your brain uses to get you to relapse... but use it to get yourself to not relapse ;) #5: find a goal or deeper purpose for yourself ... whether through meditation, religion, etc. When you realize that you're here for more than just to make money, eat, and sleep, you start to act on a higher level. A driven person will not have time to spend on addiction. Lastly, just know that you can do it. I'm speaking from experience. I'm a student and have been super addicted to this thing for so long. I've gotten better and better over time by just continuing to try and try and try. Never give up! It's not easy, but you're super strong and can conquer this thing.
You know that porn addiction is not a real thing right? There might be a pattern of unhealthy behaviour apparent but not an addition in the psychological terminology. You say you are in therapy for it, - I believe therapy is usually helpful but might you describe what exactly is going on? This is not written with the intent to diminish your situation but most information about "porn addiction" is usually religious propaganda https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too This of course is not one source that alone proves my position but according to my knowledge most associations of psychologists agree with me.
Anything can be an addiction - the DSM is rather flexible with “non substance use behavioral addictions.” They recently even added Internet Gaming Disorder along with gambling. And pretty much any behavior if repetitive done to a level of occupational impairment and distress is considered clinically an addiction. So as OP has suggested - causing severe occupational impairment and detrimental to their health would classify their porn addiction as a real disorder. Now is the disorder being strengthened by feeding into it through a self-fulfilling prophecy? That is to be decided… and there are various therapies that deal with it. But yeah - if it’s a dysfunctional schema that’s leading to a perpetual cycle of distress and further engagement in the addictive behavior, you wouldn’t want to treat it like a substance use disorder, but instead through cognitive therapy, probably some motivational interviewing, and rationalization
How can it not be a real thing? What about the people who watch it for let's say 12 hrs a day then? Do you mean we just categorize those under general sex disorders or smtg?
Correct - additionally the amount of people doing this is also incredibly low.
Maybe its a dopamine addiction?
As a dopamine addict (thanks ADHD), I must admit that all throughout my academic career, I could only focus while edging. Instant access to pornography makes it easy to get that dopamine and endorphin button pumping. But it is far too easy to let it take control and let that take all of your time. My main suggestion to OP: it would be best to lock your phone away for parts of the day. Have a machine that is solely dedicated to work. And if you truly want to change your mindset: Go on a meditation retreat. Lock yourself in a room with nothing but books and notebooks for five days. Go do a 5 strip with a friend you trust in the middle of the woods.
This is lovely and sound!
You should build a web app that detects porn on your screen and then replaces it with the data you should be looking at instead. Force the brain rewiring. Porn addiction is an issue of motivation/reward. You need to find ways to shift the motivation to your work. It’s very difficult I know but it can be done. Sorry for the joke but it also could maybe work(?)
You might just leave grad school. You said you lost all passion for your dissertation? Time to leave if you ask me.
Did you explain to your supervisor that you are addicted to porn? And how the fuck he reacted? Just try to go outside regularly, try to make women friends and realize that they are something more than a body. Unfortunately, it looks like after the internet, society creates numerous addictions for the shake of capitalism and money, and they care very little if what they do is healthy. Especially, for kids who do not even know what sex is she they are exposed to sexual content, without knowing what they do to themselves.
Cant you just have porn on your second monitor while studying? (at home, not at work)
signs you may have crippling ADHD ^ lmao
Go to SLAA bro
Discuss dedicated wank breaks with your advisor.
What sinister advice is this?
Move to texas
I wank 20 to 30 times a day. The doctor says I have a wanking disease.
Maybe start watching porn that grosses you out. Reverse psychology.
Was on the same boat—are you religious by any chance? I used to use multiple times a day for a very long time (perhaps too long), but ended up turning to my faith once I realized it was a problem. Been 6 months since I quit. Had several close calls but whenever I start getting tempted, I’ll try my best to keep myself busy (e.g., praying, reading, work out, etc.).
I think religious inclination is a tenable way to battle addictions especially pornography. But you must realise that the concomitant guilt for every relapse seems to be worse than the addiction itself. I would also suggest that replacing the addiction with another worthwhile activity can help, especially such a one that helps with the dopamine boosts. Talking to females even more can be an option.
I don't understand why you got downvoted
Porn “addiction” doesn’t actually exist.
Do your PhD on porn. Two birds with one stone
A porn handling degree
Get married.
Find a girlfriend
You just aren’t cut out to get a PHD. Cut your losses.
I believe finding a significant other would be a solution. Any luck there? Are you even trying? For me, porn makes me not try to get girls as I would without it.
Don’t let the Christian anti-fap women fuck with your head. You’re not a porn addict unless you’re watching twelve hours a day. A little here and there is natural. I was admitted into a residential therapy program with a super comprehensive admission process, during which they do porn addiction screening, and they said consistently spending twelve hours a day watching porn is what they consider a porn addict.
i mean they did mention that they are constantly battling thoughts that are preventing them from meeting commitments… even if it’s not 12 hrs a day, it seems like it is a problem
Those thought are probably only there from guilt or religious trauma. The Christian anti-fap people conflate healthy libido (which is no more an addiction than needing H20 makes you an oxygen addict) with “porn addiction,” a specific thing which involves spending copious hours watching porn every day. This conflation is extremely damaging on men’s mental health if taken too far, which is probably what this guy is experiencing. The act of watching porn becomes rebellion against an inherently unjust world, rather than satisfaction of a libidinal urge. Once you take away the transgressive aspect, you no longer think about porn more than a monkey thinks about getting laid.
This is correct. The research on this is pretty clear. The single greatest predictor of “porn addiction” is religiosity. In fact the literature has shown there is little to no relationship with the actual behavior of looking at porn and “addiction”. It’s all about if you believe it is bad and the shame that comes from that belief. In other words, if you are christian you are more likely to believe that you are addicted even if you watch porn once a month than an atheist who looks at it daily. Additionally the number of people whose actual lives are negatively impacted by pornography (ie job loss, relationship issues) is amazingly low- even among those who claim to be addicted. Imagine if alcoholism was unrelated to the actual behavior of drinking but rather dependent on if you believe it was wrong. So my brothers if you think you are addicted- you most likely aren’t- rather it’s your religion that is causing you pain. This was the case for me. I left my faith and have never been happier. Here is some literature for you: Perry, S. L., & Whitehead, A. L. (2019). Only bad for believers? Religion, pornography use, and sexual satisfaction among American men. The Journal of Sex Research, 56(1), 50-61. Grubbs, J. B., Lee, B. N., Hoagland, K. C., Kraus, S. W., & Perry, S. L. (2020). Addiction or transgression? Moral incongruence and self-reported problematic pornography use in a nationally representative sample. Clinical Psychological Science, 8(5), 936-946. Grubbs, J. B., & Gola, M. (2019). Is pornography use related to erectile functioning? Results from cross-sectional and latent growth curve analyses. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 16(1), 111-125.
Yeah I remember when I was religious (I'm old - the internet was still new, so this whole porn addiction stuff wasn't around yet) and I would masturbate, I'd feel AWFUL, and felt like negative things that happened in my life were due to it. Eventually some years later stopped being religious, and now two decades later, it doesn't bother me even a little bit. I am successful, happy with my life, in a happy relationship and I still masturbate when I feel the need/want. Hasn't impacted my productivity at all.
Receipts and all. Lol you’re doing the lords work…wait a sec.
cake late fine fade teeny snow unused birds books childlike *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Who much do you wank a day?
Bro, do you even wank?
I plowed threw this as a very very young person. An, it all came down to diefication. That slit/hole your obssesed with is a stinky crotch pit not the gates of heaven. The orgasum is a paltry reward for propogating the species. When you start to think of it as a raw deal from nature. Lizard brain programing you would be better off without. You have a foot hold for moving past your addiction. Continued diefication will move you back into addiction territory. Cupids poison arrow would be a great book for you to read. Also the female brain is a great read that is kinda In the same territory as this. What is your gender ?
I hope you realize that the goal is not to stop porn/masturbation entirely but to get it under control. Meaning, set a goal to masturbate once a week (or whatever is doable), then do other more constructive things in between. You need an enjoyable life and goals outside of p/m then you can achieve stuff.
Check out Tim Fletcher on youtube, lots of comments saying after xx years with therapists and trying programs he was the only source to help them understand the root of the addiction issues. No personal addiction issues but found him while researching narcissism, made the answers to questions I still had after going through top academics seem soo obvious, definitely worth your time. You’ve got this
How are you beating off so much and for so long? I assume you're a dude, doesn’t it hurt after a while? For me, if I worked out and did my work, I beat off that day. Never missed a day lol.
Lol it really is hard to understand. Although there is something so creepy about the way people talk about porn addiction or sex/love addiction. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out it is a weird fetish in itself.
Have you tried to get a partner or you already passed the point that no longer interested in real person anymore?
Oof, dragging another person in to fix your personal problems, I don't think that's the way to go.
Sounds hot…. I wanna jerk off with you together and let me lick it hehehe
I did not know this was really a thing until now. If this helps, I don’t watch porn, but if I happen to see it in web (I don’t use social media anymore besides Reddit), I perceive it as art and just see it from distance and forget it.
If it helps, I just perceive crack as a silly little rock and look away and forget about it
Why would that help? Sounds like grandstanding.