Lmao lets stop beating around the bush here.
OP you got played.
You supported him financially and emotionally while he was in there. Hes now out and you serve no purpose to him.
Exactly. He didn't tell you what bus he was on, so he was not expecting you to be at the bus station. There is somebody else he was wanting to see who he was communicating with while in prison. You bought stuff for his birthday that he doesn't even care about. You paid for his phone too. Save your money and break it off with this dude. Value yourself above all.
You are 100% correct. Dude is probably with his broke ass baby mama right now going out to eat with that $100 bucks. I’m sorry OP, this unfortunately is the sad truth about some of us ex-cons. It’s a 50/50 roll of the dice every time. If we are wrong please feel free to let us know that you guys are doing good together and happy.
I’m sorry, but I’ve seen this go down so many different times.
He played you like a piano.
You supported him emotionally, and gave him money, clothes, kickass shoes, a phone, probably kept his commissary full…bayyyyyybe, I bet he was on cloud nine, telling people you’re his own personal lottery, and he’s always winning.
When he’s done with his other girlfriend, he’ll call you to hang out in a day or two, and will want more stuff from you, his very willing cash cow.
If he didnt smash that ass the minute he got out thats a huge red flag. When I got out first thing I did was get a good meal second thing was smash my girl.
Exact same thing my man did after getting out, too. We ate together and then spent the rest of the day...bonding.. in our room. Hes out of town right now, thankfully not locked up this time, and as soon as his fine ass gets home it's on. God, I love that man.
No way I would have went anywhere with anybody else when I first got out except for my girl. He was agitated because he’s got somebody else waiting. He can’t even talk on that phone right now because he’s with another girl. He’ll holler at you tomorrow. He’ll knock down 3 or 4 girls in the first week or two. Your best bet is to get your head out of this cloud asap!!
100%. When I got out she picked me up & we went straight to the apartment & had 3pm fun. Then we went out to dinner on the lake with my stepson & mother in law. Went home & watched movies & went to bed together.
There is nowhere else on earth I'd have rather been that day.
A lot of guys do that while they’re locked up so girls send them letters with emotional support, come visit them and put money on their books while they’re still inside but don’t really have any intentions of committing when they get paroled.
They cons and sociopaths, and they’re locked up for a reason.
When my man got locked up, even though I trusted him and knew that wasn't the case, the possibility of being played was always in the back of my mind. I didnt think it would happen, but you cant help but wonder. Thankfully, it didnt happen and as soon as he got out I was the first person he saw. We spent the test of the day eating good food and...bonding.
I feel so bad for OP. Support somebody whose locked up isn't easy some times. Scheduling phone calls, putting money on their books, talking to their lawyer and helping them figure out what's going on it they're not totally sure. There is a lot that goes into it, you know? Doing all of that and genuinely caring about that person's outcome and being dooped into believing that the person feels the same must hurt so bad. I hope shes able to heal and find someone who truly cares for her soon.
I got burned twice by the same guy, I know stupid of me. I found out later he was telling his friends in there I was his secretary and back up booty call. Fuck him and he’s back in prison for the 4th time since I’ve known him. Good riddance, I finally met a great guy 4 years ago and now we’re happily married.
Thank you, lesson learned. It seems my whole life I dated one kind of loser or another. My husband is the opposite of any of them. He actually has a degree in criminal justice, so the other side. Never even had a speeding ticket and he just treats me better than I’ve ever been before and the way I deserve to be treated.
My fiance is the same, not with the criminal justice degree, or anything, but he treats me better than I've ever been treated and loves me the way I should have been loved all along.
I wondering if we know the same guy! lol I’ve moved on but that sounds like that crazy situation ship I was in. Does his name start with the later d??? I’m being serious because I try to warn other woman about that foolish man. And he back in jail and stalking my phone.😐
Ya this is a really shitty hand here. It's not like you should just know either. Some peeps be pretty convincing. Sorry this happened to ya, it's gotta suck pretty bad....
If you feel badly about this and have difficulty moving on, it is because you want something from him he won’t give. It doesn’t matter how much stuff you give them, you will continually leave yourself open to abuse the longer you don’t address whatever it is you want from this person. Some people find this impossible but it doesn’t have to be done directly.
My guess is you are lonely. That is a tough one because it seems logical to find someone to be with to solve that, but reality doesn’t always work that way. I recommend a period of self improvement. Make a goal to learn a new skill or take cooking classes or start gardening. Get good at whatever new skill you decide on. Learn to knit. Or quilt. Learn a new language or take a college course, it doesn’t matter what it’s about, it’s just about enriching and respecting yourself. You are worth putting energy into. Use the money you would have spent on that dude to hire a trainer and get in shape. It can be any goal really; just make sure you meet it.
Livig well after something like this is the best revenge. I guarantee it you do this, you won’t feel the is way any longer.
I'm gonna hold your hand when I tell you this
.he was using you
But you haven't been the first
Just take it as a loss and never hold down a man in jail prison none of it. They will do this everytime
Better yet, find my iPhone…. He won’t be at granny’s house sweetheart. No one’s above getting played especially big hearted people. Viciously shake it off, get right back out there, push your boundaries if necessary & remove his memories by putting other ones in that spot.
HE IS NOT WORTH ONE TEAR. Straight user.
Good luck
My ex-husband told me when we first started dating that he would keep these girls hanging on while he was in jail or prison. Just so they would send money for his commissary. When he would get out he would ghost them.
I'm just really hurt and can't stop crying bc everyday he told me that he loved me , and he made me believe that he did. Idk how someone can do that to someone, he must really not like me at all..
The problem here is *not you*.
The problem is *him*. He went to prison for a reason. No doubt he learned even more shitty ways to behave while he was there. He played you. When whatever he ran to runs out of steam, you can bet he'll be back at your door, sweet-talking you, and begging for another chance.
You were played. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve it, but that's what happened. Cut him loose, cancel the service on the phone you bought, and move on. If you can afford it, talk to a therapist. You aren't crazy -- but a good therapist will help you see things more clearly so that you pick a better man next time.
And he probably isn't with his grandparents, either. Cut him loose girl.
your so right! but don't judge me unless you've been what im currently going thru and can actually give me some advice of ur overall experience. I'm telling u. I don't wish this pain on anyone .
I’m not judging you I’m just saying the truth and you even admitted it’s true. It’s sad but it is what it is. What advice do I need to give? EVERYONE in this forum said the same thing. Ditch his ass!! There is no other advice needed. But the fact you’re asking for advice still is exactly why I answered the way I did before.
U don’t wish this pain on anyone and I haven’t been through the same thing you have but I was a professional athlete who had 2 attempts on my life and lost it all due to drugs and from someone who did drugs i know you’re gonna go back when the opportunity comes. It’s not the exact same but close.
Love is like a drug. It feels good when it’s there and shit when it’s gone. You say you’re never going to take them back but when you least expect and they come knocking…we know the rest of the story. It takes you to dig deep down and want to change your life for the better and walk in the fire of aloneness and change however scary that may be, that’s when you can really shed this. Good luck
I know exactly how you feel, literally. Don’t let him keep talking to you and telling you lies. I swear there is a kind like this and they are all the same. Pathological. He will be locked back up and don’t be there for him. Figure out what made you pick someone like him in the first place. People like us have a hard time believing people like them exist. I promise you don’t have to keep going back to find out he is rotten as fuck.
Alot of good advice about him, but what about you? You didn't go to prison, you are making money, you have a life...you are important too. So, I would play HIS game for a few days, then I would live my life.
You deserve better, place your money, time, and effort into something/one that deserves you.
Yes, place all your money, time, and effort into yourself & fuck all these users & narcissists who take advantage of people like us who are so willing to give them all of those things and they don’t give two shits. Please don’t waste your life doing this over & over again like I did and finally figure it out at 55 years old and have nothing & starting completely over. I always thought everyone had the best intentions & learned the hard way. Don’t be a me!
You keep referring to the phone you got him, like he is legally obligated to contact you now because you got him it.
You cannot buy somebody into wanting you, as harsh as it might sound.
Prisoners and people of that life tend to be very resourceful and have a superficial charm to get what they want out of people.
The fact you are running around for him and he has an entitled attitude tells me there isn’t a healthy balance in this relationship.
Cut your losses and find someone who wants you for you, and not because you spent a lot of money buying them gifts.
As someone who has been out that life awhile, but still not that far removed, I wanted to say giving him a $100 is the worse thing you could have done. The wheels in my head started spinning like yup ima hit my boi up and cop when I imagined your story and then him going to his “grandparents” and having $100. Especially if he was mad. He’s definitely buying drugs and MAY text you back.
Either way I’d leave ASAP. Either he is A.) Fucking someone else B.) Fucking someone else and doing drugs C.) Doing drugs and D.) See above three. You see how in every scenario you should leave? Yeah. Just do it!
It’s okay it hurts but it’s a learning lesson and move on. Be grateful he showed you now. Imagine if he still kept you on the string longer and how much more emotional and financial pain he would have caused. You sound like a lovely but low self esteem girl. Get your confidence up know your worth and you’ll attract a guy of the same value! Best of luck to you OP
Exactly. I have ADHD so I have lost I don’t know want to think about how much money due to this.
After a long 12hr work day and week, my girlfriend, let me borrow her electric bike. She was renting it and she offered to let me borrow it to go pick up my stuff from the job site and I reluctantly said yes because I’m in a bike city, and funny thing was she was planning to have already returned it because she just bought a moped, but she injured her leg so she was waiting until the next week.
I got home after getting my stuff and I forgot the keys in the bike and the next day I panicked and remembered and went outside and it was gone and I had to pay $1500 to replace the bike, because I left the keys in the bike after a long, hard day of working.
It’s not the first time either but It happens to the best of us, but it’s a learning lesson.
Did you meet before he got locked up or while he was in? My husband has said he watched guys who had been in a while basically make a monopoly/business out of scamming women who would put money on their books and make promises of commitment when they were out but it was empty promises so they’d keep their commissary full and money for while their in and when they get out. I went to visitation twice a week and we would watch as some of these guys had different women for every visit because they had a schedule for that to. I’d give it a day or two as it can be an adjustment but I think you might have gotten played. 😬
Prison letters and phone calls are 100% over emphasized.
If you knew him before prison, that is the person you should expect (eventually). If you didn’t know him before prison, you’ll be sorely disappointed.
When people are in prison they write all kinds of nonsense about what they’re going to do and who they’re going to be. All they have is TIME. Once the real world hits, they end up being the same flawed humans as the rest of us.
As far as why he seemed angry or annoyed when you picked him up, who the hell knows. I know when I picked my bf up YEARSSSS ago, I didn’t bring actual gifts. My only “gift” was a super hot piece I was wearing under my outfit. Which he thoroughly enjoyed.
I would see what happens over the next 7-days. Let him be the one the reach out. He’s got a lot of things he’ll need to do right away if he got out on parole. 1) meet PO, 2) first UA, 3) find employment 4) figure out transportation for everything
Give it time but also, don’t be majorly surprised if everything he said over the last X months or years turns out to be shit.
Did he happen to be in there due to a drug addiction or develop one while doing time? I’ve seen a lot of people (myself included) get out with high hopes and wanting to reconnect with everyone but as soon as their out the pull of the drugs is too powerful. Could be he’s either on one or has relapsed and doesn’t want you to see.
Or what everyone else is saying. It sucks though either way and I’m sorry you gotta go through this. I know it must be hard.
He definitely played and used you. Same thing happened to me a few years back. It happened twice actually and by the same guy. Long story, but I held it down for him, put money on his books and in his phone. He’d call and always ask me to do this or that and everything. He got his parole date but couldn’t get released until he paid for his halfway, so I paid the $450. To get him out. He said his boss was picking him up and then he’d come by, he asked me to get his boss some dope so I had my friends get it. When he got there he called and told me not to come out and he’d be right up. I open the door and he went right past me, didn’t even look at me, grabbed the dope from my friend and went straight to the bathroom, to bang the dope. Then he came out gave me a shitty hug and asked for money and gave me some poor ass excuse of where he had to go and why he couldn’t stay. Anyways, it turned out he’d been getting high the whole time and another girlfriend outside waiting for him. The time before that he did it same thing but he never called me when he got out and he went back with his baby mama. He begged for my forgiveness when he got locked up again, and I gave him another chance like an idiot. I ended up going to prison and I got out over two years ago and I had already met some new guy four years ago. Now I’m happily married, he’s never been in trouble with the law. And my ex is back in prison again, had to block him because he just wouldn’t take a hint. I even told him to stop contacting me.
So sorry to say you got played, it’s what a lot of men and women do. Then the fact you got him all that other stuff when he got out. I’m sorry it’s a shitty feeling. But you’re better off without him
Thanks, I’m definitely not trying to be a bitch and make her feel like shit in an already shitty situation. Like I said it’s happened to me twice from the same guy. And I’ve also been on the inside and done this to some guy. When you’re in if you’re not working or not able to and you don’t have people helping you out then most find a hustle. Unfortunately it comes in the way of people making others feel like they love them and literally will say anything to make them think that so they’ll do anything for them. This can be a very shitty world to live in and you never really know who you’re talking to inside. Even if you knew that before that place can change you. I should’ve asked OP if she knew him prior. Either way it sucks. Then too it’s depending on are they using? Are they gonna use when they get out? The guy I was talking about always had these grandiose plans for when he wanted out and then as soon as he got out, he started getting high again and went back to his old behavior. I think he’s been in and out of prison for the last like 15 years and most likely will be in for the rest of his life.he is become so institutionalized. He hates being there, but he can’t stop breaking the law.
Why are women so interested in playing lawyer, banker and therapist for ADULTS who have made BAD decisions? LADIES YOU ARE DOING TOO MUCH! .....now the kids, family and society gotta suffer? The lines on visiting days are around the block at the Male facility....but the lines for the females are extremely short.....not much concern there....ain't that interesting.
I supervise these FREELOADERS and they are just that......trust me....they tell us their scams ,....they prey on lonely women and their baby mothers.
WOMEN you should be getting HIV tests when the guy steps foot out of the facility....the next step should be the free clinic AND before you say it ...ALL HIV testing is FREE. You might be surprised at the results.
How long was he gone? The first day out is so incredibly overwhelming. I was gone in total just under eight years. And I about had a full on panic attack in Walmart.
I wasn’t in very long compared to many. And before prison, I had traveled the world, worked a demanding career and bought the house and all that, I still found myself freaking out in Walmart of all places on the day I got out.
Was it all the people in Walmart, or? Sudden significant temperature changes do to that to me as well. I walked in Walmart today it felt like 30 degrees when it was 95 out.
Did you meet him in lock up via messaging or before hand? Have you seen Love after Lock up? May wanna watch it. Convicts run games like this all the time. Was he actually at his grandma’s?
He played you....a lot of inmates are OPPORTUNISTS they are interested only in what you will do for him.....once he got what he needed...he bounced on you. Why didn't he go home with you? You totally took care of him...why couldn't you go with him to Grandma's house.....she should know who you are ..right?
I supervise these guys....they change women a lot. Lick your wounds and dump him now....you will have more money in your pocket and less heartache. TAKE CARE OF YOU....LET THE OTHER CHICKS BE HIS FOOL. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Don't rule out the possibility you're being taken advantage of, but don't jump to that conclusion either. There's a strong chance he'll have some mental health problems from his time inside. If so, what looks like him taking his pain out externally is actually him struggling to contain his pain.
Be patient and understanding. Listen, let him talk at his own pace if he wants to, and give him space if he doesn't. He could change his mind. It just might take a long time for him to process.
Sorry you're feeling like collateral damage though OP. Hurts when you try to be kind and get an unkind response in return doesn't it? Please don't let it put you off being kind.
Some people might think the worse but then again he’s been locked up for who knows how long. Maybe , just maybe he’s getting adjusted to being out and being a free man.
What did you expect?
Is some dude who’s been in prison definitely the very best person that you can find as a boyfriend?
Just move on. He’ll probably ruin your life anyway.
Sounds like he used you while he was away so you’d put money on his books, visit, send gifts and everything he could possibly want for a comfortable stay. I knew a girl that held her boyfriend down like that and when he got out left her for a corrections officer he’d been sleeping with the entire time. Most men would immediately want to get somewhere private with their girl as soon as they possibly could, like the bathroom at the bus station even though it’s disgusting… if he wasn’t even interested in that I think maybe he’s already getting it elsewhere. Or since you gave him money maybe he was more interested in going to get high if he’s an addict. Either way you can do so much better and deserve so much more!
This is what I don’t get. There are plenty of dudes who don’t have a record that are single why are you investing your time, energy and money on someone who spent the last however long running game to survive in jail.
You got played. Dudes do it to women on the outside to get what they need while they are locked up all of the time. Not all of the guys are like that, but it happens a lot.
Watch Love After Lockup. The story is all the same. Most felons are in prison for a reason that likely includes a complete disregard for other humans. They are self-serving and having a person on the outside that will send money for commissary, phone calls, etc. is a nice perk. Once outside, that prisoner has their choice who to use. You got used. Move on. Don’t “date” prisoners.
Babe. I low key creeped your profile. You’re gorgeous. Do better by you, mami. There are some decent people in prison who have made bad choices, but there are a lot of people who are exactly where they belong (and will be back). Find someone solid who isn’t in that life and will give you the energy you give. Hugs.
That’s so inconsiderate of him!! I mean, I’m sure he was nervous, scared, whatever but you would think he would want to just cozy down with you and decompress. And you got him all those great gifts! Your feelings must be so hurt! I hope he explains this to you cause it’s not right!
Get some self-esteem and date a decent guy. I absolutely think people can change and just because someone went to prison doesn't mean they're incapable of becoming a good person. That said, I highly doubt that process happens in prison when a person is surrounded by a lot of abused, mentally ill, and very maladjusted people. I think it's selfish and irresponsible to try to be in a relationship when you don't have your shit together.
Give him a little bit. Things are really weird when you first get out of prison. When I first got out I just wanted to be by my damn self. I wanted to stay inside of the house and I didn't want to fucking do nothing that could result in me going back to prison. Give him time.
Clearly you have a long standing tradition of making bad decisions. I'm sure you can figure out that buying them all those things while he was in prison was just another one of those bad ideas. He's got somebody else and he'll reach out to you again when he's locked up which probably should be a couple weeks. Just keep your phone close he has your number
Ditch the loser and take the loss. You won’t get your money back from him anytime soon. Move on with your life and be a productive member of society. You can’t do that while you’re tied down to someone who can’t even get a job because of his prison term. You can do better!
It sounds like you happened to get the bus info since they had your number, but if this guy was for real HE would have given you that info. He was mad when you showed up?? I'm sorry but he had other plans in mind. Make that the last time you spend your money on him and move on. Find someone who you don't have to financially support and would be ecstatic to see you anywhere. Best of luck to you!
You got hustled. Every single person in prison has or is looking for a hustle - a person to provide them money on their books and to give them things when they get out. They tell you everything you want to hear, but in the end, it’s all about money and things. Not only did you get hustled he has other women who he is now spending time with.
I’ve seen this happen too many times on love after lockup. It seems he was just using you to pass time. If he really cared he would want to spend more time with you. Also many of these people are talking to multiple women at once
I will say, when I was in jail for 3 months I told my girlfriend at the time that we could talk on the phone as much as she was willing to, but I didn't want her to come see me for visits. She was really hurt and confused by that for a while. My reasoning was I didn't want her to be exposed to that environment. It was an especially bad place with a bad reputation & lots of violence. Very dirty and understaffed. Also I had got into a little mix up and I didn't want her to see me and get worried.
Anyway, we stayed strong the entire time and she picked up me when I got out. Went straight to her place, and ya know. As for your situation, it seems sketchy. Unfortunately like others are saying, it seems like you may have been played. Hopefully things work out for you either way. Sorry.
In this case...... No good deed goes unpunished...... IF he doesn't "want you" then there's something wrong with his motives, not yours.... call him and when he's aloof...... dump the chump (he's playing you)........... take care of yourself first.....
I’m sorry this has happened to you. I’ve seen it time and time again. Unfortunately it sounds like he used you. I hope you will find someone that has the same heart as you one day.
You really know how to choose them. To be honest I read this and immediately got the sense that you have low self confidence… my advice is to get a little self help.
I’m gonna hold your hand while I tell you this…
LMAO PLEASE
Have you seen that show “Love After Lockup”? …….. 🫤
I have, and I know whats going on here because it happens on that show all the time.
He sounds charming.
Lmao lets stop beating around the bush here. OP you got played. You supported him financially and emotionally while he was in there. Hes now out and you serve no purpose to him.
This is classic Happens everytime
Story for the ages.
A tale as old as time. The only lady who never had another woman to worry about, was the first woman named Eve.
Lillith has entered the chat, chuckling
heh heh heh
Lilith is having a good laugh 😆
Fiction.
Exactly. He didn't tell you what bus he was on, so he was not expecting you to be at the bus station. There is somebody else he was wanting to see who he was communicating with while in prison. You bought stuff for his birthday that he doesn't even care about. You paid for his phone too. Save your money and break it off with this dude. Value yourself above all.
Oh, he loves the stuff. Just not her.
And cancel the phone service.
this story is slightly depressing, I bet he was bragging to all the other inmates about this.
That part
I'd hate to say this is true. I don't want her to feel pain , but this is textbook inmate con.
Yup, exactly I’ve been to prison and heard people rubbing in about their “girl” sending money in literal pieces of shit!
They sent money in shit? Whoa, that’s pretty tough..
Punctuation changes sooooooooooo much.
As a former Corrections officer, spot on. Cons sit around all day trying to digure out ways to con Women like this.
You are 100% correct. Dude is probably with his broke ass baby mama right now going out to eat with that $100 bucks. I’m sorry OP, this unfortunately is the sad truth about some of us ex-cons. It’s a 50/50 roll of the dice every time. If we are wrong please feel free to let us know that you guys are doing good together and happy.
Agreed.
I’m sorry, but I’ve seen this go down so many different times. He played you like a piano. You supported him emotionally, and gave him money, clothes, kickass shoes, a phone, probably kept his commissary full…bayyyyyybe, I bet he was on cloud nine, telling people you’re his own personal lottery, and he’s always winning. When he’s done with his other girlfriend, he’ll call you to hang out in a day or two, and will want more stuff from you, his very willing cash cow.
Accurate af 💯
May hear from him around tax time.
If he didnt smash that ass the minute he got out thats a huge red flag. When I got out first thing I did was get a good meal second thing was smash my girl.
This is also 100% facts. I can’t believe I missed this. I did the same shit when I got out but in reverse order, smashed first then ate. 😂😂
This is the way
Hard agree. We were in the damn car. It was a long 5yrs…
Exact same thing my man did after getting out, too. We ate together and then spent the rest of the day...bonding.. in our room. Hes out of town right now, thankfully not locked up this time, and as soon as his fine ass gets home it's on. God, I love that man.
Exactly what I said. Either there's another girl or gay for stay just became gay all the way.
Yep hes sucking dick now
Your man-picker is broken.
But loser - picker is running nicely
You deserve so much better. When someone shows you who they are, believe them (and bounce).
No way I would have went anywhere with anybody else when I first got out except for my girl. He was agitated because he’s got somebody else waiting. He can’t even talk on that phone right now because he’s with another girl. He’ll holler at you tomorrow. He’ll knock down 3 or 4 girls in the first week or two. Your best bet is to get your head out of this cloud asap!!
100%. When I got out she picked me up & we went straight to the apartment & had 3pm fun. Then we went out to dinner on the lake with my stepson & mother in law. Went home & watched movies & went to bed together. There is nowhere else on earth I'd have rather been that day.
Solid dude right there. Good choice my man!
I appreciate that.
A lot of guys do that while they’re locked up so girls send them letters with emotional support, come visit them and put money on their books while they’re still inside but don’t really have any intentions of committing when they get paroled. They cons and sociopaths, and they’re locked up for a reason.
When my man got locked up, even though I trusted him and knew that wasn't the case, the possibility of being played was always in the back of my mind. I didnt think it would happen, but you cant help but wonder. Thankfully, it didnt happen and as soon as he got out I was the first person he saw. We spent the test of the day eating good food and...bonding. I feel so bad for OP. Support somebody whose locked up isn't easy some times. Scheduling phone calls, putting money on their books, talking to their lawyer and helping them figure out what's going on it they're not totally sure. There is a lot that goes into it, you know? Doing all of that and genuinely caring about that person's outcome and being dooped into believing that the person feels the same must hurt so bad. I hope shes able to heal and find someone who truly cares for her soon.
I got burned twice by the same guy, I know stupid of me. I found out later he was telling his friends in there I was his secretary and back up booty call. Fuck him and he’s back in prison for the 4th time since I’ve known him. Good riddance, I finally met a great guy 4 years ago and now we’re happily married.
In sorry you went through that! Some guys are just losers and I'm glad you found yourself someone better.
Thank you, lesson learned. It seems my whole life I dated one kind of loser or another. My husband is the opposite of any of them. He actually has a degree in criminal justice, so the other side. Never even had a speeding ticket and he just treats me better than I’ve ever been before and the way I deserve to be treated.
My fiance is the same, not with the criminal justice degree, or anything, but he treats me better than I've ever been treated and loves me the way I should have been loved all along.
I wondering if we know the same guy! lol I’ve moved on but that sounds like that crazy situation ship I was in. Does his name start with the later d??? I’m being serious because I try to warn other woman about that foolish man. And he back in jail and stalking my phone.😐
He's with his other girlfriend. He'll text you maybe never.
Narcissist got cared for while in prison. Now hes out, he has no need for you.
Thanks for letting me know , didn't think of it like that ..
Don’t forget to cancel the phone service
Ya this is a really shitty hand here. It's not like you should just know either. Some peeps be pretty convincing. Sorry this happened to ya, it's gotta suck pretty bad....
If you feel badly about this and have difficulty moving on, it is because you want something from him he won’t give. It doesn’t matter how much stuff you give them, you will continually leave yourself open to abuse the longer you don’t address whatever it is you want from this person. Some people find this impossible but it doesn’t have to be done directly. My guess is you are lonely. That is a tough one because it seems logical to find someone to be with to solve that, but reality doesn’t always work that way. I recommend a period of self improvement. Make a goal to learn a new skill or take cooking classes or start gardening. Get good at whatever new skill you decide on. Learn to knit. Or quilt. Learn a new language or take a college course, it doesn’t matter what it’s about, it’s just about enriching and respecting yourself. You are worth putting energy into. Use the money you would have spent on that dude to hire a trainer and get in shape. It can be any goal really; just make sure you meet it. Livig well after something like this is the best revenge. I guarantee it you do this, you won’t feel the is way any longer.
Sketchy as hell. I would be very careful.
I'm gonna hold your hand when I tell you this .he was using you But you haven't been the first Just take it as a loss and never hold down a man in jail prison none of it. They will do this everytime
Cancel the number
YEP!! Let his bitch buy him a new one.
Did you know him before he went in ?
Yes
How long were you dating before? I mean did you live together or hook up once a week?
Exactly.
You gave him a phone . Do you have the number ? Text him .
Better yet, find my iPhone…. He won’t be at granny’s house sweetheart. No one’s above getting played especially big hearted people. Viciously shake it off, get right back out there, push your boundaries if necessary & remove his memories by putting other ones in that spot. HE IS NOT WORTH ONE TEAR. Straight user. Good luck
Maybe he is into grannies...
My ex-husband told me when we first started dating that he would keep these girls hanging on while he was in jail or prison. Just so they would send money for his commissary. When he would get out he would ghost them.
Those are the values that lead to his prison sentence to start with.
Those are probably his redeeming qualities and we don't want to know the others.
Oh how sweet… he sounds like a charmer
Ex husband for a good reason.
Yeah if only I used my brain back then. But that was 22 years ago.
Yeah my buddy has like 3 or 4 girls at his beck and call sending him money, he loves to brag about it to me lol
OP, he showed you who he was, and it's time to believe it.
I'm just really hurt and can't stop crying bc everyday he told me that he loved me , and he made me believe that he did. Idk how someone can do that to someone, he must really not like me at all..
It’s not you he doesn’t like. It’s himself. People that use other people are usually narcissists who are only concerned with what’s going on with HIM.
Yep. Narcissists.
The problem here is *not you*. The problem is *him*. He went to prison for a reason. No doubt he learned even more shitty ways to behave while he was there. He played you. When whatever he ran to runs out of steam, you can bet he'll be back at your door, sweet-talking you, and begging for another chance. You were played. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve it, but that's what happened. Cut him loose, cancel the service on the phone you bought, and move on. If you can afford it, talk to a therapist. You aren't crazy -- but a good therapist will help you see things more clearly so that you pick a better man next time. And he probably isn't with his grandparents, either. Cut him loose girl.
Stop crying. That’s what he wants you to do.
The minute he calls she’s going to take him back, and the cycle repeats. She’s doomed 🙄
We can only hope that’s not the case.
your so right! but don't judge me unless you've been what im currently going thru and can actually give me some advice of ur overall experience. I'm telling u. I don't wish this pain on anyone .
Are you OP?
I’m not judging you I’m just saying the truth and you even admitted it’s true. It’s sad but it is what it is. What advice do I need to give? EVERYONE in this forum said the same thing. Ditch his ass!! There is no other advice needed. But the fact you’re asking for advice still is exactly why I answered the way I did before. U don’t wish this pain on anyone and I haven’t been through the same thing you have but I was a professional athlete who had 2 attempts on my life and lost it all due to drugs and from someone who did drugs i know you’re gonna go back when the opportunity comes. It’s not the exact same but close. Love is like a drug. It feels good when it’s there and shit when it’s gone. You say you’re never going to take them back but when you least expect and they come knocking…we know the rest of the story. It takes you to dig deep down and want to change your life for the better and walk in the fire of aloneness and change however scary that may be, that’s when you can really shed this. Good luck
I know exactly how you feel, literally. Don’t let him keep talking to you and telling you lies. I swear there is a kind like this and they are all the same. Pathological. He will be locked back up and don’t be there for him. Figure out what made you pick someone like him in the first place. People like us have a hard time believing people like them exist. I promise you don’t have to keep going back to find out he is rotten as fuck.
Oh, might wanna sit down for this one..lessons are meant to be learned. Please don’t do this again OP, your heart is better off for it
Alot of good advice about him, but what about you? You didn't go to prison, you are making money, you have a life...you are important too. So, I would play HIS game for a few days, then I would live my life. You deserve better, place your money, time, and effort into something/one that deserves you.
Yes, place all your money, time, and effort into yourself & fuck all these users & narcissists who take advantage of people like us who are so willing to give them all of those things and they don’t give two shits. Please don’t waste your life doing this over & over again like I did and finally figure it out at 55 years old and have nothing & starting completely over. I always thought everyone had the best intentions & learned the hard way. Don’t be a me!
Damn ,,it sound like u have an interesting story . Glad though you figured it out
You keep referring to the phone you got him, like he is legally obligated to contact you now because you got him it. You cannot buy somebody into wanting you, as harsh as it might sound. Prisoners and people of that life tend to be very resourceful and have a superficial charm to get what they want out of people. The fact you are running around for him and he has an entitled attitude tells me there isn’t a healthy balance in this relationship. Cut your losses and find someone who wants you for you, and not because you spent a lot of money buying them gifts.
Give him space? Run and dont look back
He probably wants to go get high or fuck some other girls, he wanted his privacy. What a guy!
Please stop letting this man treat you with disrespect and move on.
Umm. I hate to break it to you, but he's not your boyfriend
He’s probably gone to score drugs
As someone who has been out that life awhile, but still not that far removed, I wanted to say giving him a $100 is the worse thing you could have done. The wheels in my head started spinning like yup ima hit my boi up and cop when I imagined your story and then him going to his “grandparents” and having $100. Especially if he was mad. He’s definitely buying drugs and MAY text you back. Either way I’d leave ASAP. Either he is A.) Fucking someone else B.) Fucking someone else and doing drugs C.) Doing drugs and D.) See above three. You see how in every scenario you should leave? Yeah. Just do it! It’s okay it hurts but it’s a learning lesson and move on. Be grateful he showed you now. Imagine if he still kept you on the string longer and how much more emotional and financial pain he would have caused. You sound like a lovely but low self esteem girl. Get your confidence up know your worth and you’ll attract a guy of the same value! Best of luck to you OP
Yea sometimes you gotta look at it as money well spent.
Exactly. I have ADHD so I have lost I don’t know want to think about how much money due to this. After a long 12hr work day and week, my girlfriend, let me borrow her electric bike. She was renting it and she offered to let me borrow it to go pick up my stuff from the job site and I reluctantly said yes because I’m in a bike city, and funny thing was she was planning to have already returned it because she just bought a moped, but she injured her leg so she was waiting until the next week. I got home after getting my stuff and I forgot the keys in the bike and the next day I panicked and remembered and went outside and it was gone and I had to pay $1500 to replace the bike, because I left the keys in the bike after a long, hard day of working. It’s not the first time either but It happens to the best of us, but it’s a learning lesson.
Was looking for this comment
Did you meet before he got locked up or while he was in? My husband has said he watched guys who had been in a while basically make a monopoly/business out of scamming women who would put money on their books and make promises of commitment when they were out but it was empty promises so they’d keep their commissary full and money for while their in and when they get out. I went to visitation twice a week and we would watch as some of these guys had different women for every visit because they had a schedule for that to. I’d give it a day or two as it can be an adjustment but I think you might have gotten played. 😬
[удалено]
No, I disagree. She found out suddenly what he's really like
Prison letters and phone calls are 100% over emphasized. If you knew him before prison, that is the person you should expect (eventually). If you didn’t know him before prison, you’ll be sorely disappointed. When people are in prison they write all kinds of nonsense about what they’re going to do and who they’re going to be. All they have is TIME. Once the real world hits, they end up being the same flawed humans as the rest of us. As far as why he seemed angry or annoyed when you picked him up, who the hell knows. I know when I picked my bf up YEARSSSS ago, I didn’t bring actual gifts. My only “gift” was a super hot piece I was wearing under my outfit. Which he thoroughly enjoyed. I would see what happens over the next 7-days. Let him be the one the reach out. He’s got a lot of things he’ll need to do right away if he got out on parole. 1) meet PO, 2) first UA, 3) find employment 4) figure out transportation for everything Give it time but also, don’t be majorly surprised if everything he said over the last X months or years turns out to be shit.
Did he happen to be in there due to a drug addiction or develop one while doing time? I’ve seen a lot of people (myself included) get out with high hopes and wanting to reconnect with everyone but as soon as their out the pull of the drugs is too powerful. Could be he’s either on one or has relapsed and doesn’t want you to see. Or what everyone else is saying. It sucks though either way and I’m sorry you gotta go through this. I know it must be hard.
yes
Block him. If possible, remote shut down the phone you gave him. Do not communicate with him.Cut your losses & move on.
He definitely played and used you. Same thing happened to me a few years back. It happened twice actually and by the same guy. Long story, but I held it down for him, put money on his books and in his phone. He’d call and always ask me to do this or that and everything. He got his parole date but couldn’t get released until he paid for his halfway, so I paid the $450. To get him out. He said his boss was picking him up and then he’d come by, he asked me to get his boss some dope so I had my friends get it. When he got there he called and told me not to come out and he’d be right up. I open the door and he went right past me, didn’t even look at me, grabbed the dope from my friend and went straight to the bathroom, to bang the dope. Then he came out gave me a shitty hug and asked for money and gave me some poor ass excuse of where he had to go and why he couldn’t stay. Anyways, it turned out he’d been getting high the whole time and another girlfriend outside waiting for him. The time before that he did it same thing but he never called me when he got out and he went back with his baby mama. He begged for my forgiveness when he got locked up again, and I gave him another chance like an idiot. I ended up going to prison and I got out over two years ago and I had already met some new guy four years ago. Now I’m happily married, he’s never been in trouble with the law. And my ex is back in prison again, had to block him because he just wouldn’t take a hint. I even told him to stop contacting me. So sorry to say you got played, it’s what a lot of men and women do. Then the fact you got him all that other stuff when he got out. I’m sorry it’s a shitty feeling. But you’re better off without him
That is a kind and realistic response. Unlike some of the other snotty comments here.
Thanks, I’m definitely not trying to be a bitch and make her feel like shit in an already shitty situation. Like I said it’s happened to me twice from the same guy. And I’ve also been on the inside and done this to some guy. When you’re in if you’re not working or not able to and you don’t have people helping you out then most find a hustle. Unfortunately it comes in the way of people making others feel like they love them and literally will say anything to make them think that so they’ll do anything for them. This can be a very shitty world to live in and you never really know who you’re talking to inside. Even if you knew that before that place can change you. I should’ve asked OP if she knew him prior. Either way it sucks. Then too it’s depending on are they using? Are they gonna use when they get out? The guy I was talking about always had these grandiose plans for when he wanted out and then as soon as he got out, he started getting high again and went back to his old behavior. I think he’s been in and out of prison for the last like 15 years and most likely will be in for the rest of his life.he is become so institutionalized. He hates being there, but he can’t stop breaking the law.
Why are women so interested in playing lawyer, banker and therapist for ADULTS who have made BAD decisions? LADIES YOU ARE DOING TOO MUCH! .....now the kids, family and society gotta suffer? The lines on visiting days are around the block at the Male facility....but the lines for the females are extremely short.....not much concern there....ain't that interesting. I supervise these FREELOADERS and they are just that......trust me....they tell us their scams ,....they prey on lonely women and their baby mothers. WOMEN you should be getting HIV tests when the guy steps foot out of the facility....the next step should be the free clinic AND before you say it ...ALL HIV testing is FREE. You might be surprised at the results.
Guess you’ve never watched love after lockup
Air Jordans? That's an adolescent mind in a grownup body. Stay far away. And he'll only call you when he needs money or some errand.
Did you first meet while he was inside?
no we've been off an on before he got locked away
Look at your post from 5 days ago!! He ghosted you before he even got out!! Wake up !!
I wish I had known . Would have saved me over 20k and 6 years of heartache.
😭 I’m so sorry you went through this. It’s my biggest fear when mine gets out in a year.
How long was he gone? The first day out is so incredibly overwhelming. I was gone in total just under eight years. And I about had a full on panic attack in Walmart. I wasn’t in very long compared to many. And before prison, I had traveled the world, worked a demanding career and bought the house and all that, I still found myself freaking out in Walmart of all places on the day I got out.
Was it all the people in Walmart, or? Sudden significant temperature changes do to that to me as well. I walked in Walmart today it felt like 30 degrees when it was 95 out.
Girl you can do better.
I would treat you much better for some Js and some walkin’ around money babe.
Did you meet him in lock up via messaging or before hand? Have you seen Love after Lock up? May wanna watch it. Convicts run games like this all the time. Was he actually at his grandma’s?
He played you....a lot of inmates are OPPORTUNISTS they are interested only in what you will do for him.....once he got what he needed...he bounced on you. Why didn't he go home with you? You totally took care of him...why couldn't you go with him to Grandma's house.....she should know who you are ..right? I supervise these guys....they change women a lot. Lick your wounds and dump him now....you will have more money in your pocket and less heartache. TAKE CARE OF YOU....LET THE OTHER CHICKS BE HIS FOOL. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Haha “boyfriend” you’re a fool
You got played like a PlayStation. Don't worry about it, once he needs someone else or more money, he'll call you soon.
Don't rule out the possibility you're being taken advantage of, but don't jump to that conclusion either. There's a strong chance he'll have some mental health problems from his time inside. If so, what looks like him taking his pain out externally is actually him struggling to contain his pain. Be patient and understanding. Listen, let him talk at his own pace if he wants to, and give him space if he doesn't. He could change his mind. It just might take a long time for him to process. Sorry you're feeling like collateral damage though OP. Hurts when you try to be kind and get an unkind response in return doesn't it? Please don't let it put you off being kind.
Some people might think the worse but then again he’s been locked up for who knows how long. Maybe , just maybe he’s getting adjusted to being out and being a free man.
hes only been locked up in prison for five months
What a man what a man what a mighty good man!!!
(A mightymighty good mannnn… 🎶)
A body like Arnold with a Denzel face
🤣🤣🤣🤣
What did you expect? Is some dude who’s been in prison definitely the very best person that you can find as a boyfriend? Just move on. He’ll probably ruin your life anyway.
Yikes.
I am so sorry but it sounds like he was just using you in prison .
Sounds like he used you while he was away so you’d put money on his books, visit, send gifts and everything he could possibly want for a comfortable stay. I knew a girl that held her boyfriend down like that and when he got out left her for a corrections officer he’d been sleeping with the entire time. Most men would immediately want to get somewhere private with their girl as soon as they possibly could, like the bathroom at the bus station even though it’s disgusting… if he wasn’t even interested in that I think maybe he’s already getting it elsewhere. Or since you gave him money maybe he was more interested in going to get high if he’s an addict. Either way you can do so much better and deserve so much more!
This is what I don’t get. There are plenty of dudes who don’t have a record that are single why are you investing your time, energy and money on someone who spent the last however long running game to survive in jail.
You got played. Dudes do it to women on the outside to get what they need while they are locked up all of the time. Not all of the guys are like that, but it happens a lot.
Watch Love After Lockup. The story is all the same. Most felons are in prison for a reason that likely includes a complete disregard for other humans. They are self-serving and having a person on the outside that will send money for commissary, phone calls, etc. is a nice perk. Once outside, that prisoner has their choice who to use. You got used. Move on. Don’t “date” prisoners.
I was drunk the day my mama got out of prison, and I went to pick her up in the rain...
Babe. I low key creeped your profile. You’re gorgeous. Do better by you, mami. There are some decent people in prison who have made bad choices, but there are a lot of people who are exactly where they belong (and will be back). Find someone solid who isn’t in that life and will give you the energy you give. Hugs.
Time will make everything clear but sounds bad
That’s so inconsiderate of him!! I mean, I’m sure he was nervous, scared, whatever but you would think he would want to just cozy down with you and decompress. And you got him all those great gifts! Your feelings must be so hurt! I hope he explains this to you cause it’s not right!
Get some self-esteem and date a decent guy. I absolutely think people can change and just because someone went to prison doesn't mean they're incapable of becoming a good person. That said, I highly doubt that process happens in prison when a person is surrounded by a lot of abused, mentally ill, and very maladjusted people. I think it's selfish and irresponsible to try to be in a relationship when you don't have your shit together.
It certainly not you, I would actually let that clown go and move on. You’re too good.
When you say boyfriend, you mean the guy who stole your money and doesn’t give a shit about you?
He did not steal her money. He conned her out of the money using the "lover boy" technique.
this one made me laugh thanks I needed that laugh , I felt good to laugh even if it was just for a second
You got playex
Were you asking for a tampon and forgot the ?
Played like a fiddle
Was he your boyfriend before he went in or did this start as some prison pen pal type thing?
Move on.
I have a bridge to sell you
He's waiting for you to give him more money. You have to pay to play.
Yeah he was using you for money on the books, now he's off to find his actual girlfriend
Give him a little bit. Things are really weird when you first get out of prison. When I first got out I just wanted to be by my damn self. I wanted to stay inside of the house and I didn't want to fucking do nothing that could result in me going back to prison. Give him time.
You're the bit on the side, sorry to say.
Sounds like a stand up guy lol get rid of the anchor
How long were yall dating for before he got locked up?
P.O.S. Drop him and block calls & text. You’re too kind and you deserve better. Find a real man. A man of high values.
Sounds like OP doesn’t like the answers and the truth in the comments here. OP, you’re not going to hear what you want to hear. He played you.
Clearly you have a long standing tradition of making bad decisions. I'm sure you can figure out that buying them all those things while he was in prison was just another one of those bad ideas. He's got somebody else and he'll reach out to you again when he's locked up which probably should be a couple weeks. Just keep your phone close he has your number
Ditch the loser and take the loss. You won’t get your money back from him anytime soon. Move on with your life and be a productive member of society. You can’t do that while you’re tied down to someone who can’t even get a job because of his prison term. You can do better!
It sounds like you happened to get the bus info since they had your number, but if this guy was for real HE would have given you that info. He was mad when you showed up?? I'm sorry but he had other plans in mind. Make that the last time you spend your money on him and move on. Find someone who you don't have to financially support and would be ecstatic to see you anywhere. Best of luck to you!
Sounds like a keeper
You got used. Time to move on.
You got hustled. Every single person in prison has or is looking for a hustle - a person to provide them money on their books and to give them things when they get out. They tell you everything you want to hear, but in the end, it’s all about money and things. Not only did you get hustled he has other women who he is now spending time with.
Dmd u
Lmfao he playd U
I’ve seen this happen too many times on love after lockup. It seems he was just using you to pass time. If he really cared he would want to spend more time with you. Also many of these people are talking to multiple women at once
I will say, when I was in jail for 3 months I told my girlfriend at the time that we could talk on the phone as much as she was willing to, but I didn't want her to come see me for visits. She was really hurt and confused by that for a while. My reasoning was I didn't want her to be exposed to that environment. It was an especially bad place with a bad reputation & lots of violence. Very dirty and understaffed. Also I had got into a little mix up and I didn't want her to see me and get worried. Anyway, we stayed strong the entire time and she picked up me when I got out. Went straight to her place, and ya know. As for your situation, it seems sketchy. Unfortunately like others are saying, it seems like you may have been played. Hopefully things work out for you either way. Sorry.
Umm, what kind of relationship do you have with someone in prison? Find someone that has better employment prospects.
You got played. Plain and simple
Block him and find you a decent fella
In this case...... No good deed goes unpunished...... IF he doesn't "want you" then there's something wrong with his motives, not yours.... call him and when he's aloof...... dump the chump (he's playing you)........... take care of yourself first.....
You’re single and have been single. Keep your head up, take your time, keep it moving.
I’m sorry this has happened to you. I’ve seen it time and time again. Unfortunately it sounds like he used you. I hope you will find someone that has the same heart as you one day.
You really know how to choose them. To be honest I read this and immediately got the sense that you have low self confidence… my advice is to get a little self help.
He might not even like girls anymore. That prison bussy helps a lot of men find their true calling
Why you begging a convict to be your boyfriend. Find a real man.
Was he your boyfriend before he went into prison?
You’re an idiot if you stay after getting your clear answer here
You got a winner! Bless your heart!
I bet 1 pound you sent him money while he was in
These posts are one of the main reasons I pay attention to this sub.
Shut the phone off & face the music. You got played…
Wanker!
Dump him, you don't need that in your life.
You got played 😂 he used you and he’s done with you unless you continue to be a dumbass and keep supporting him and giving him things