T O P

What are common ways to shame men and women for their preferences?

Frustrated that you can't measure up to what the standards are? Maybe you feel icky when you hear what other people prefer in a partner? Maybe you just can't stand the thought of others being happy?

Well, you've come to the right thread!

By making the person with the preference feel bad for having it in the first place, you can feel morally superior!

Main point 👉 What are common ways to shame men and women for their preferences?

Far-End2208

"its not your business whats in their past" actually it is. Not just sexually (but obviously sexual as well), financial is HUGE, hard drugs, SA, cheating, tons of stuff really. I do look down on people who dont care/never ask about their partners past. I dont understand how you can choose to literally base your life around a monogamous relationship if you want a LTR/marriage with someone without thoroughly knowing who they are. I expect my SO to want to know about my past, my mistakes and my growth from those and judge accordingly, if they dont I wouldn't trust them fully.


CostAncient1473

Yeah for sure. Not a lot of men or women don't want to check themselves of what kind of dirt they got over them that they (dependly) wash off or can't. Weither it is Body Count, Criminal Records and Desired issues you have, is a big red flag that most people should raise fairly. If people don't care about any of that stuff, is either they want that person to hit the bed with or some desired sexual activity or some sort.


idontreallyknow5575

I agree with this especially about their sex life because that's important for your own health.


januaryphilosopher

The thing that's important for your health there is only whether they have STDs in the present.


CommunityOk7466

If they have a violent past, they'll probably have a violent future


januaryphilosopher

How does this relate to my comment?


CommunityOk7466

Having a partner with a past full of STD's isn't the only thing that can affect your health going forward


Musulmaniaco

If they have a promiscuous past, they will probably have a promiscuous future.


januaryphilosopher

My comment was about health, and how only their current infections can affect it.


Musulmaniaco

Mental health is health too, and having a partner with a promiscuous past can affect your mental health.


januaryphilosopher

Nobody was talking about mental health. It could have a positive or negative effect, or no effect, depending.


Musulmaniaco

You said health, not physical health, and mental health is part of it by definition. But you are clearly arguing in bad faith so have a good day.


ishtiakbbh

It goes beyond STDS imo. Don't you think if a man or woman has a high count they don't value monogamy as much as someone with a lower count, they also probably go out clubbing and drinking. Also, I grew up with traditional values, why would I be a gentleman and put in any effort for a girl after a bunch of dates with 0 sex, if the girl would just bang a dude she barely knows the same night with the minimum amount of work? A girl with traditional values seems lost in this time and it's quite sad.


januaryphilosopher

If you have these concerns, they aren't about your health.


idontreallyknow5575

I am really phobic about this stuff so I would still want to know, that's just me


eefr

>I expect my SO to want to know about my past Well of course I am *interested* in their past and the experiences that made them who they are. I think most people feel this way. It's just that my decision to date them is not influenced by how many or how few sexual partners they've had in the past. I'm interested in hearing about past relationships or lack thereof, but just for informational purposes; nothing turns on it.


Far-End2208

>I think most people feel this way. I think so too. I just see the occasional reddit comment of how people dont care at all about sexual pasts or the past of that person in general because they only care who they are now as if their past self doesn't affect who they are now. The judging part is more towards SA, financials, cheating >It's just that my decision to date them is not influenced by how many or how few sexual partners they've had in the past. I'm interested in hearing about past relationships or lack thereof, but just for informational purposes; nothing turns on it. this is a totally reasonable standard just as much as my decision not to date someone for their sexual past is, & I wouldnt judge you for that. Different strokes, different folks but idk if most people feel this way. for example most women would probably see a 30+yo virgin man as a red flag and I wouldn't blame them. It probably is, unless their very religious.


captaindestucto

Yet when it comes to older male virgins suddenly women have a right to this information. Partner count says something about shared values, hence compatibility.


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idontreallyknow5575

I don't understand why anyone would want someone that isn't into them. Part of what turns me on is knowing I turn him on. ;)


MediumBaseball5339

It's desperation but from a narcissistic angle


WaitingToBeTriggered

IT’S A DESPERATE RACE AGAINST THE MINE


darksoul1622

AND THE RACE AGAINST TIME


JNRoberts42

It’s pathological. I continue to be flabbergasted that millions of men admit they are angry that a woman they desire isn’t into them. I cringe each time a man cries “friendzone”.


ComfortableOk5003

I just think women shouldn’t keep guys around as friends if they’ve hit on her and asked her out but she’s not interested. Likewise no guy with self respect would stick around for that. It is definitely on the guy for sticking around


JNRoberts42

She didn't attempt to change the terms of a mutually beneficial friendship, *he* did. If he actually cared about her, he would want her to be with someone she is mutually attracted to. If she wants to remain friends with a selfish, ego-driven asshole, she's free to do so. I kick them the fuck out of my life.


ComfortableOk5003

I meant more guys who make it clear they wanna date, but she says no let’s be friends


JNRoberts42

That's *his* problem. He shouldn't make it her problem. He can apply the same restraint he uses towards coworkers, married women, his sisters-in-law, gay women...


ComfortableOk5003

Or he can just not be friends. Easiest answer


JNRoberts42

Or he can just grow up and direct his romantic and sexual feelings at someone who reciprocates. Far better long term results.


ComfortableOk5003

I mean my suggestion of not being friends, implies he puts his romantic energy to good use with someone else


Endasweknowit122

Yeah but then why be friends lmao. Women offer zilch as friends let’s be honest. Why do you think they keep the betas around??


idontreallyknow5575

Exactly same here, no one owes anyone anything. It's a huge turn off too, men that are like that. And I can't even really get into someone if I know they aren't even attracted to me. Why would anyone want that? Part of what feels good is the mutual aspect of it all.


JNRoberts42

>Why would anyone want that? I think they are stuck in the pre-operational stage of development where egocentric thinking drives their behavior. They simply can't conceive of women wanting something different than what they want. Their desire is so encompassing and overwhelming they assume that she should feel the same. Probably a healthy dose of patronization as well. "I know what is best for her. She's making bad choices with those other men and she should want *me* instead."   At any rate, it's infuriating. I have zero interest in any person who has ever fixated on someone who doesn't want to be with them.


ComfortableOk5003

I agree on not wanting someone who doesn’t want you… I think the big disconnect is a lot will hear or read about women complaining about the dudes they go for…and think we’ll just do the opposite…but it’s not that easy


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ComfortableOk5003

As in she goes for bad boys, or guys who don’t treat her x way, and do she complains bout said guy cuz he’s being kind of a dick….so some guys are like well just date the opposite type of guy who will treat you right…but the fact is she hasn’t found one who she is attracted to. It’s like telling a guy who likes fit women (but they are difficult to find) to date fatties…


JNRoberts42

Her male friend has no business pretending he's the better choice *since she isn't attracted to him*. He can do what friends do and offer support and advice when asked.


ComfortableOk5003

I never said this guy was her male friend… No offense but you seem to have a chip on your shoulder about men. You never seem to come down as hard on women….


idontreallyknow5575

You hit the nail on the head with this whole comment, completely agree. No wonder it turns us off so much, we can sense that shit.


Windmill_flowers

When this happens, I just flipped the genders. Then it's quite easy to understand: A woman who is angry that a man she desires isn't into her... Simply wishes that that guy WAS into her. She doesn't want to get with the guy EVEN THOUGH he's not into her.


Weird_Inevitable27

True! It's so cringy!


blockedbylosers

b-b-but *participation award*!


skon7

This is facts!!!! I will never fully be into you which means it’ll inevitably end. I won’t wanna have sex with you and you’ll feel neglected. It’s pointless. Some women will stay with you and cheat on you. Or eventually break it off anyways after undermining her man privately or even publicly


Ass___Master___69

"If you wouldn't fuck a trans woman because they have a penis/were originally a man, then you're transphobic!!!!" literally the most obvious one


Scarce12

Very good point, Ass Master 69.


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0DarkFlirty

Is it homophobic if I wouldn't fuck a man but otherwise would if he was female?


Windmill_flowers

>in the pure meaning of the word yes. Do you think there is a difference between being scared of something versus being not interested in something?


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Windmill_flowers

Ohh, gotcha. Ok, so what do we call people who are deathly afraid of trans people?


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Windmill_flowers

Maybe someone else knows


UpstairsValue6799

For real though..... Gotta get that after gym protein somehow


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[deleted]

"Good luck with your cats and your future inkwell. Why would any man give a crap about what you want when he has options??" If that man has desirable options he wouldn't be upset about your preferences excluding him.


MC-Purp

You’re not alone. I once was rejected by a women a I really liked over my number. Feels bad man.


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MC-Purp

Yep. She was as nice as she could be about it, and we’ve stayed friends. But she made it very clear, that anything more was off the table. Hurt like hell, I saw real potential.


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Most women ARE bothered by it though lmao


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Not to mention disease


HairyFilm6942

Yes. The men I’ve met like this tend to have mental health issues, sex addictions, and prone to cheating. They will never be happy with one woman so dating them is a waste of time.


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I'd literally rather never speak to a man ever again than date a promiscuous one, absolutely vile.


Scarce12

You should see the horrors that my old house mate used to come home with. Some of these women actually smelled bad. I'm certain he did it to freak me out.


CosmicBioHazard

Honestly a man with a low count is probably an easier find than a woman with the same. You could demand a count of zero and still find a guy. He’d probably even be attractive. With a guy who’s saving himself he’s probably not even necessarily religious either, but rather invested in maximizing the ‘specialness’ of his relationship; one thing you must understand about men, there is *always* some parameter in our lives we want to maximize.


Ohms2North

If you aren’t attracted to trans women, you’re a misogynist


TigerRude4

"Only real men...." "You're just insecure, she fucked 30 guys and had threesomes, but she made you wait for sex, but ultimately she chose you!"


LoopyPro

"Just be happy she's doing you a favor by letting you be her 31st choice." \- Thanks, I've never felt so special in my life.


bootyhunter69420

"She's with you now" or "she's choose you for a reason". As if those guys didn't break up with her.


Weird_Inevitable27

Lol nice one. But you can't break up from ONS's you just say goodbye and leave.


RadicalQueenBee

So if you somehow knew she was the one to break up with them or refuse/not pursue commitment in the first place you would not care?


bootyhunter69420

I think it's better if she was the one to facilitate the break-up because there's less of a chance for her to have unresolved feelings or feel the need for "closure".


RadicalQueenBee

Yeah but she still fucked the other guy right away and "made you wait for sex" so how does her dumping him or just plain refusing anything more serious with him in the first place make that better since your issue is her having sex faster and not her having preferred him for commitment


bootyhunter69420

If she makes you wait but doesn't do the same with exes. That's a problem. She isn't as attracted to you.


RadicalQueenBee

So your issue is not whether she actually preferred them (ie, didn't want a relationship with them/dumped them), but whether she had sex with tnem on the first date versus having sex with you on the 5th. Then why are you even mentioning the other guys presumably dumping her since that's a) not something you know b) not something you care about anyway? If the situation was reversed it'd be all the same to you, it shouldn't matter who dumped whom.


Weird_Inevitable27

Hey look at the bright side, you weren't invited to the restaurant but be thankful, you get to eat the leftovers nobody wanted! And remember to do the dishes afterwards! /S


VehementlyDrawn

Not sure what the point of this is. Basically any preference a man has is shamed. * Want a younger woman? You're a pedo * Want a low bodycount woman? You're insecure * Want a non-fat woman? You're not a real man * Want a submissive woman? You just want a mommy bangmaid


Windmill_flowers

It's to celebrate the reliable shaming tactics of each side


VehementlyDrawn

There are no reliable shaming tactics. Shaming other people's preferences just makes you look like you don't meet people's preferences and are mad about it


Windmill_flowers

Reliable in the sense that people reliably use the same tactics over and over again. For example, if a guy says he likes young women you can rely on women shaming him for being creepy Just like if a woman says she wants a rich man, you can rely on guys calling her a gold digger It's reliable


VehementlyDrawn

Oh then yea, pretty much most women on here use the same shaming tactics of male preferences


Weird_Inevitable27

The difference is that most women want a rich-er guy and can get him at least for some ONS's while only a minority of men can get a younger woman at all.


Flightlessbirbz

“Give the ugly guy a chance he’ll treat you better.” (The genders could also be reversed, but usually that’s the way it goes.) First of all, not necessarily. Second of all, there is nothing wrong with wanting a partner you find attractive. And third, would YOU want to be the “ugly” person someone only dated because they were shamed into it? I find certain people attractive who might be below average by other people’s standards, but that’s different than dating someone you find unattractive just because you hope they’ll be nicer.


Windmill_flowers

Haha yeah! "When I first met my husband, I thought he just wasn't my type. I'm usually attracted to xyz. But after I got to know him..." https://madamenoire.com/194658/youre-not-idris-why-the-man-youre-not-immediately-attracted-to-could-be-your-perfect-match/


Flightlessbirbz

I mean I can see where the author is coming from, I don’t think there needs to be instant fireworks, but if you don’t find them even slightly attractive, I can’t see it being a good idea. Attraction can grow over time but it can’t grow from absolute zero imo.


Windmill_flowers

Agreed


Weird_Inevitable27

Sure, but people are vast they contain multitudes, (Walt with man) some people are so superficial that can't even scratch the surface and discard plenty of good mates because they are so shallow that they can't see the personality. Others are just voids.


katyushas_boyfriend

> First of all, not necessarily. Nothing is certain in life but death and taxes. > Second of all, there is nothing wrong with wanting a partner you find attractive. > And third, would YOU want to be the “ugly” person someone only dated because they were shamed into it? This isn't "shaming". In this example women aren't being labelled as bad people because they won't give uglier guys a chance. The point being made is purely descriptive. The theory, at least, is that a less desirable men may treat their female partners better out of gratitude, and be more willing to commit because they are not exactly spoiled for choice. Emphasis on the latter, because I think the vast majority of women have some kind of grievance(s) regarding men not committing. If the guys you go for won't go exclusive, chances are he has more and/or better options, so you probably need to lower your standards.


Flightlessbirbz

Some guys really do act like women are bad people for not dating ugly dudes. Like they’re singlehanded responsible for the collapse of society since apparently that’s what happens when less attractive men can’t get laid? Of course an ugly guy *might* treat a woman better, but he could also get insecure and treat her worse. Him being more attractive is not good either. Imo *usually* relationships work best when the couple is about evenly matched. So if the woman is ugly then sure, but otherwise probably best to date someone similar. Of course there will be exceptions and it’s a very individual thing. But there has to be mutual attraction to form a solid foundation.


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Windmill_flowers

Yes, but that's usually followed up with stuff that's decidedly not masculine. A "real man dresses in pink and plays house with his daughter" A "real man can cry in front of his woman" A "real man likes to get pegged once in a while because he's secure in his masculinity" crap like that


Weird_Inevitable27

Le Toxic Femme in action.


Sofia_sticated91

I have had a lot of women who have complained when my date was 22-24. It indicates misogyny, immaturity, sexism and my shortcomings as a man that I "cannot keep" a woman my own age. Joke is on them. I keep no women. I date whoever I find hot. Most times that is younger women but I have dated many women over thirty who were absolute fire.


Sabrepill

Women on this Reddit absolutely hate the fact that men date younger women and are constantly shouting that young women don’t like older men. Yet the dates with young women keep rolling in It’s as if these bitter feminist people live in an alternate reality where an older man is equivalent to some gargoyle looking senior citizen instead of an actually good looking dude in his 30s or 40s


Weird_Inevitable27

Projection.


Weird_Inevitable27

If you pay attention when a woman is shaming you, if you reverse what she says sometimes it tells you who they are, its freakishly amazing how they can seamlessly insult you in doublespeak. Translation: It indicates (her) misandry, (she's mature, old), you're egalitarian (kinda stretch) and it's your success as a man that you "can choose" a women the age you prefer.


Apprehensive_Boat_70

The most common way to shame men is to make them believe there is something wrong with them for their preferences or desires. Lets look at the modest woman desire many guys have, wantint a virgin or a woman who never slept around and only dated nice guys, never engaged into hookup culture etc, even if you dont find it that important there is nothing wrong abou not finding someone attractive over that, you re not taking away womens rights or anything and all women can still live a happy life if they dont meet that standard, they wont be punished for it, yet men get gaslighted into oblivion for it "you are a mysoginist, you dont get laid, you re controlling, you dont care about your partners, you re insecure", being called insecure for it is the most hypocritical one, because women are full of insecurities way more than your average man yet look down on men for expressing even a bit of insecurity, but at the same time men are expected to accept women's and even put them at ease, fine then, if they can look for secure men when they arent even secure about themselves then there shouldnt be any issue if a man seeks a virgin woman for a life-lasting spouse.


NationalistGoy

Reminds me when a woman received internet flak for writting an article titled "Men prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos", that woman was attacekd for months. Just look up the tittle and you'll find some of those articles.


Weird_Inevitable27

"Men are insecure" Meanwhile: Revenue in the Beauty & Personal Care market amounts to US$571.10bn in 2023. The market is expected to grow annually by 3.80% (CAGR 2023-2027). K


Windmill_flowers

I have one. If you're broke, a common shaming tactic for a woman who doesn't want to be in the poor house with you is to call her a gold digger. This way you can say, "See love isn't unconditional" https://youtu.be/jsOnXSuMXfU


Apprehensive_Boat_70

Painting anyone who doesnt wants a gold digger as broke or mediocre is a more common tactic.....lmao


Weird_Inevitable27

name three young adult romance best sellers where the woman falls in love with a nobody? The beauty and the beast. she: you look like a monster! Him: I have a castle! She: I love you! ​ Women are strong and independent, why can't she walk the walk and work more so he can buy shoes, bags, have his nails done, haircuts, new car, two houses, vacations etc?


mandoa_sky

i have a friend who pulled this off. you need to be a young hot stud in your 20s-30s. you date a rich lady in her 50 plus years. good luck ;)


eefr

Really, your evidence is a fictional fairy tale that is hundreds of years old?


funlightmandarin

In a society and age period where women had limited options for earning money for a living lol


Weird_Inevitable27

Searched your "In a society and age period where women had limited options for earning money for a living lol" and didn't find any young adult romance novels. Thanks.


Weird_Inevitable27

Searched your "Really, your evidence is a fictional fairy tale that is hundreds of years old?" In Amazon and didn't bring any young adult romance novels. Thanks


eefr

You want me to find additional fictional stories as evidence? They are fiction. What would that show?


Weird_Inevitable27

That some women buy and enjoy the male protagonist stereotypes in the book. Twilight: 160 million copies sold. Franchise: 3 4 billion. Edward is a PUA disguised as a vampire.


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Weird_Inevitable27

As the statistics show. Anyone can Google. The amount of comments fighting what's been obvious since the invention of wheels.


januaryphilosopher

The Fault in Our Stars; Everything, Everything; Eleanor and Park.


Weird_Inevitable27

Edit: Thanks! So at least three. I was wrong, all male protagonist are top 10% I even found out that Edward from twilight is a PUA disguising as a vampire. The other 90% are different variations between superman, vampires and batman. Edit: Edward is, a PUA disguised as a vampire with superman powers and the actor went on to be the batman too. Astonishing. So if you really want to pick up women, dive in the young adult romance novels. I knew those PUA's where lifting everything from somewhere. Edit: the guy from the fault is in our stars is described in the wiki as: "Being tall, very handsome, intelligent, having blue eyes and mahogany hair. He fears oblivion, as he wants to make his mark on the world." And only was in the support group where he met the protagonist woman because he wanted to support his friend Isaac. Also: "Hazel describes Augustus having mahogany hair, bad posture, and blue eyes. Augustus is described as well built- seeing as he used to play basketball. Hazel's friend Kaitlyn comments on his appearance: "Oh, my God. I've seen him at parties. The things I would do to that boy. I mean, not now that I Know you're interested in him. But, oh, sweet holy Lord, I would ride that one legged pony all the way around the corral." Seems like these women really liked him. So it doesn't fit the criteria. Plus he can pay for his treatment so he's also very privileged. Seeing as your first answer is the very embodiment of the classic young adult woman romance novel I don't think you understand the idea, or just didn't care who knows. In the second book everything everything the boy appears to be less privileged due to his father being an alcoholic but somehow they live next door to the girl protagonist whose mother is a Doctor. So boring didn't finish the summary.


januaryphilosopher

Those were the first three I'd heard of on a list of YA books (apart from one gay romance I skipped past). I never even got to any that didn't fit that definition. I can't even think of a popular vampire one outside of The Vampire Diaries (I'm pretty sure the woman is a vampire but haven't read it) and Twilight.


Weird_Inevitable27

From the wiki of the fault is on our stars: "Hazel describes Augustus having mahogany hair, bad posture, and blue eyes. Augustus is described as well built- seeing as he used to play basketball. Hazel's friend Kaitlyn comments on his appearance: "Oh, my God. I've seen him at parties. The things I would do to that boy. I mean, not now that I Know you're interested in him. But, oh, sweet holy Lord, I would ride that one legged pony all the way around the corral." Seems like these women really liked him. So it doesn't fit the criteria. Plus he can pay for his treatment so he's also very privileged.


Over_North8884

I have one. If you're broke, a common shaming tactic for a man who doesn't want your prostitution services is to call him a selfish closed-minded misogynist.


Comfortable-Dare-307

Men are not allowed to say no or be upset about unwanted sexual advances. Telling men they need to be confident reinforces toxic masculinity. Men aren't allowed to show negative emotions. Telling Men they are pedophiles for wanting younger women. Telling Men they are not real men unless they are over 6 feet. Labeling Men as deadbeats if they can't pay for everything.


Overarching_Chaos

If you find certain things about her past sub optimal it’s because you’re insecure. If a woman said “I like X guy but he’s been with so many girls, he’s a fuckboy”, you’d find it perfectly reasonable.


Windmill_flowers

>because you’re insecure Ooh that's a really good one. Very common


Total_Hospital_6013

Leo Di Caprio is shamed and imo he is a bit weird for liking them that age (they're legal I know) even though he's getting older and older and obviously never truly loved any of them (which makes me pity him) but those women wouldn't even share an elevator with him if he was broke so imo they deserve what's coming to them at age 25 or 26 whichever it is (still i would hate if my lil sister or younger relative dated him) Shamed for having casual sex or FWB with woman/man but not wanting LTR or marriage to the same woman/man and finally shaming for the bodycount double standard like there seems to be this consensus among women that men pat each other on the back for ducking lots of women but ive never ever witnessed this kinda behavior


Seattle_Beach

I live life in fear of being called boy-crazy, because I am. Society tells me I should be ashamed of it.


Windmill_flowers

That's one I haven't heard in a long time. But it's true, as a woman, you're supposed to be somewhat aloof. You can't be too interested in "boys", otherwise you're desperate and insecure and looking for attention etc etc


Demasii

Women having unrealistic standards and that they won't succeed even though they prefer to be single instead of being in an unhappy relationship. Telling men that they are creepy for wanting to date significantly younger women even though they believe that they are part of the 2% who are magically not.


Weird_Inevitable27

yes, they want superman but look like shrek. painful.


idontreallyknow5575

It is creepy. It doesn't help those guys tend to be the worst kind that aren't desirable to a lot of women. Often times, their thoughts and views come out and you just sit back like "oh it makes sense". And most women have reasonable standards. I only ever see in the manosphere these supposed "list of insane standards" women have.


MC-Purp

Interesting, personally I’ve found it to be the opposite. That most people (both men and women) actually have a long lit of standards. But don’t express most of them, because they think they’re just how things are “supposed” to go.


idontreallyknow5575

I find men to be the most picky and want to date out of their league. If anything I see more woman willing to go below their level but you'll rarely if ever see that with a man. Even the unattractive/broke/etc ones expect a woman out their league. How many times have you seen an ugly or overweight woman with a hot man? Probably never. It is far more common the other way around.


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Windmill_flowers

*"You must just want a naive underage girl who is too inexperienced to call you on your bullshit. It's giving grooming vibes"* Some people


wtknight

Don't make things personal.


Windmill_flowers

Oops. I modified it


byzrs

women love calling men pedophilic for some of our preferences.


EricFisherNo1

I prefer younger women the blue pill mob tells me it is wrong. like all the time.


Sabrepill

Now they are saying that younger women don’t like older men, in further efforts to get men to stop dating younger women Yet in the real world the man is almost always older than the woman by a couple years and this amount increases the richer the man is The average age gap for multi-millionaires approaches 20 years according to some studies. But that’s the real world and not feminist agenda reddit


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Outside_Ad8196

« Slutshaming » when I say I don’t want a woman with a high bodycount/ who’s ever engaged in hook-up culture. «  Fetish for anorexia » because I’m not attracted to overweight women and would only consider a thin and/or fit woman. Also shit for not wanting masculine women, not liking short hair on girls, etc… I literally get accused of misogyny everytime for my taste especially when talking about it to female friends. I’m literally bisexual ( albeit only attracted to femininity regardless of sex) and I hold the exact same standards for men I’m into so how am I pushing « outdated things on women » exactly ? It’s just excuses at this point to push us men to take whatever scraps we can get and accept undesirable people. «  Just meet people and learn to know them maybe you’ll like them » yeah if I’m not attracted I’m not bothering tbh. Being alone is cool by me, a relationship is just a perk.


TonytheNetworker

One of the most common ones I’ve seen recently is shaming women for preferring taller men. “Only 14% of men (in the U.S) are 6 feet and up” or “When you turn 30 you’ll realize that you will have to settle.” I don’t think most of these guys realize you aren’t going to shame a women for wanting what she’s attracted to. Many of the younger guys have became taller so it’s not as rare these days. Women will just stay single and enjoy life until they find someone that’s their match.


ComfortableOk5003

That sounds more like giving someone facts not shaming Women go nuts when men say they don’t want fat chicks


Ohms2North

Re height, that’s not shaming, that’s maths


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SlashCo80

Meanwhile some of us guys are attracted to tall women but in my experience many of those women will not date shorter men. Even if he's only shorter when she wears heels or something.


TonytheNetworker

100%. More often than not a tall women will not even entertain the idea of a guy being shorter. Sure, it may happen every once and a while but women typically always want taller.


Dstar538888

I prefer tall men, idc who’s bothered by it lol


Sabrepill

Older men who prefer younger women: Shamers and Haters will either say he’s paying her, or she’s into his money and not him. Or that he’s a morally bankrupt groomer. Every scenario makes the man the villain and the woman a victim. Just look at what happened when people thought that 50 year old Leo DiCaprio was dating a new 19 year old. The bitterness and hatred from women and low T soy based blue pilled males was enormous. Gynocentric world view at its finest


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UpbeatInsurance5358

I never understood this either. If people are an adult at 19, they can see who they want. Leo wouldn't be my choice, but then it's not my choice is it? 🤷‍♀️ It's weird Leo's in particular especially the 25 barrier thing, but it's his choice and as long as he's open about that - and he is - then any woman he gets involved with knows she's not there for long, and it's nobody else's business.


funlightmandarin

Leo doesn't have a 25 limit. It's just by that time the women get tired that it's not going places and they need to leave if they want that life. Like, most of his exes are mothers and married (or have been married) now. It seems more like a rite of Hollywood passage at this point. Good PR for actresses/models starting out.


UpbeatInsurance5358

It doesn't matter matter. My point was that they're both adults and openly consenting ones.


cjt11203

So its mutually beneficial. If anything based off of what you just said you can argue the women benefit more.


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Sabrepill

He’s an adult male and she’s an adult female. How is it wrong? Not only is it legal, but their sexual union could potentially result in children and family. So it’s wrong because you said so? Leo is not allowed to date a grown 19 year old woman? But we can send 19 year old men to war to die right? That’s ok, but a 19 year old dating a multi millionaire actor is not ok and it’s the man’s fault even if she chooses him because young women have no agency even when they are legal adults? Got it


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Sabrepill

Yet we send 18 year old men to die in war and not a second thought is given. But oh no, let’s view the 19 year old woman dating a 50 year old millionaire as some kind of victim. If I had a 19 year old daughter and she was dating Leo I’d be very happy for her. Ecstatic


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Sabrepill

She could date Leo for whatever reason she wants. Leo is a handsome, talented, charming man. To project that she’s only dating him for money is a hater comment from a bitter person. She knows what she’s getting into by dating Leo. But unlike you, I consider her to be an adult and make her own choices and learn from them. She has agency She could date anyone she wants. She’s not gonna choose a gross and broke 50 year old man, because young women don’t choose that. Women pick winners. If she picked a 50 year old man he’s probably tall, handsome, rich, and hung. Good for her, I wouldn’t hate on that at all


Mentathiel

It shouldn't be illegal, but it's creepy. And nobody should be drafted.


Over_North8884

WHY is it wrong. I've never seen any reason beyond stupid crap like "I truly believe that if an old man wants to be with a just legal girl, in our society, he just enjoys the destruction of innocence." That's not a real reason, just a socially brainwashed taboo.


[deleted]

It's bad if she wants a serious, balanced relationship with someone that likes her for who she is. It's great if two people are on the same page and want to have fun, the way DiCaprio does it.


[deleted]

Most younger women don't want older men, that's the issue.


Windmill_flowers

I think it depends on how much older you're talking about. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think that women usually marry older more than they marry younger. But I don't have any stats on me.


[deleted]

>Correct me if I'm wrong but I think that women usually marry older more than they marry younger. But I don't have any stats on me. By a couple of years yes, I thought the implication was obvious


Windmill_flowers

Ohhhh the implication was most women want men a couple years older than themselves. Not sure how I miss that


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RadicalQueenBee

I am 22 and I will call him creepy, I don't think it has to do with age. Most women are very accustomed to older men making attempts to them from a very young age so it makes sense it's easier for them to recognise the creepiness and whatever manipulation/grooming may be going on.


NationalistGoy

Can an older man COURT/FLIRT with a young woman or is it always MANIPULATION/GROOMING?


RadicalQueenBee

It's *usually* manipulation/grooming. Most men in their 40s approaching women in their 20s will almost always go for women with financial issues, family problems, mental illness/disorders, and/or trauma, because they know a 25 year old woman with her own money/a family that supports her who's mentally healthy and has a good life would 9 times out of 10 go for a 20-30 year old man, not them. That on its own seems predatory to me. Now of course there are outliers, but that's not usually the case.


NationalistGoy

> Most men in their 40s approaching women in their 20s will almost always go for women with financial issues, family problems, mental illness/disorders, and/or trauma And where do you get this information from? Is there an study or something? How would you even know these women have mental issues? Isn't that accusatory? Like you are just assuming some women have mental illneses just because they are doing something that you don't aprove of.


RadicalQueenBee

I'm strictly speaking about my own experiences and experiences of people I know. And I'm also a woman who is and has been getting approached by older men for the past 10 or so years, so based on that I'd say I know what types of men adopt which approaches, unless you've also spent the past 10 years of your life getting approached by men 20 years your seniors. No, I don't have a study for you, but I doubt there's a study gathering data on such info in age gap relationships. Socioeconomic differencies are evident. Mental illnesses/disorders are not as much, but since I'm talking about women I know or women in my social circle, they will usually let that stuff be known, eg that they're battling with x trauma or have x diagnosed disorder. And I'm not accusing people with mental illnesses, saying someone has a mental illness and that makes them more vulnerable to something someone without said illness is not is not accusatory.


NationalistGoy

> No, I don't have a study for you Yeah, I figure. > And I'm not accusing people with mental illnesses, saying someone has a mental illness and that makes them more vulnerable to something someone without said illness is not is not accusatory. Yes, it is accusatory, you implied women who date older men have mental illneses. Maybe not all women, but a majority. Let me tell you something, we men approach women who are beautiful, who are pleasant to look at. We do not approach women thinking *"oh this girl might have a mental illness"*... *"oh this girl might be vulnerable I can take advantage of her"*... *"oh this girl is poor"*. Just to begin with, how would a man even know a woman has a mental illness? Most mental illnesses cannot be detected without proper psychological/psychiatric analysis. A woman's money is not a huge concern to us, we have to pay for dates anyway, so the idea that we men target poor women is nonsense, we approach women based on their looks, period. Lastly how would men know if a woman has family problems? A man can't know this if she doesn't tell him. And women don't usually reveal these things, unless there is a level of trust between the two. So all these things that you are saying, are things that men can't know out of the bat. Yes there are women who find themselves in rough situations with bad men, but according to you all men a certain age are bad people targetting vulnerable women, this is nonsense. I once dated a younger woman, I never asked if she was mentally ill, I never asked if she had family problems, I never asked if she had money issues, I cared that she was beautiful and she wanted to try to date me. That's all that mattered to me, and I think most men think alike with some exceptions of course.


[deleted]

I just feel sorry for the girl, most women aren't into older men at all apart from to make some money.


Total_Hospital_6013

just curious but why feel sorry for the woman when she marries a guy just for his money? does that not make her the bad person in the relationship ? like 99% of us have to work hard to make money and cant just marry someone older and rich to me thats like taking the easy/sleezy way out The argument could be made that the older guy deserves the feeling sorry for since he thinks she loves him fort him and not his cash, then again hes probly just married to her for looks so he probably sleezy too


[deleted]

>just curious but why feel sorry for the woman when she marries a guy just for his money? does that not make her the bad person in the relationship ? like 99% of us have to work hard to make money and cant just marry someone older and rich to me thats like taking the easy/sleezy way out Because there's the expectation of having sex with a much older man involved in this arrangement. Some women are willing to do that to secure the bag but honestly I'd rather work 60 hours a week until I drop dead.


JNRoberts42

> hen again hes probly just married to her for looks so he probably sleezy too You answered your own question. Obviously both are shallow. Much like Leo's young models, no one is getting hurt and everyone knows they are exchanging goods and services, not love.


GridReXX

The shaming of women in my network usually looks like: *she exists without a romantic partner, with friends, and not depressed* “Plant lady!” “Dog mom!” “You’re going to be alone!” “Man hater!” *she prefers a man used to her own lifestyle she provides for herself* “Gold digger!” “User!” “Emasculator!” “Masculine!!!” *she had a boyfriend in the past now has another boyfriend* “Slut!” “For the streets!” “Imagine the man who has to wife her thinking about the men she fucked and cooked dinner for!!!! 😤” *prefers men taller and wider than herself* “Misandrist!!!” “Hypocrite!!” “Body shamer!!!” *cares about her credit score and his* “Unreasonable bitch!!!” 😂😂


Windmill_flowers

Lol, Those are really good! Can you do the other side?


8won6

"if you're an older man, and you don't date older divorced bitter single mothers...you're a predator for preferring younger women...or you're an i\_cel"


Dstar538888

“But he’s a nice guy, give him a chance”… first of all being “nice” is not an impressive trait to have, that’s quite literally the bare minimum… second of all, if there is no attraction whatsoever, then a relationship simply won’t work, a nice man who is not attractive to me is just a friend 🌝


Windmill_flowers

>being “nice” is not an impressive trait to have Kinda is nowadays, NGL. The bar is pretty low


Kliere

"You're a pedo, sex trafficker and you're forcing yourself on women because of their socio-economic status (basically a rapist)" When men don't want a western women and go to a poorer country.


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beleidigtewurst

Standards to measure up are in ones head/eyes, IMO. So it comes down how much of external semi-randomly picked up things you want to apply to yourself. Also, people need to stop judging own attractiveness by using those swipe left/right apps, it is terribly skewed and about random hookups, something that most men are eager to do and most women absolutely not and both parties for good biological reasons.


Windmill_flowers

I'm not detecting much shame in your response


[deleted]

For men: loudly, publicly, inflicting as much pain and embarrassment as possible while getting cheered on openly by friends and strangers. For women: usually anonymously on Reddit.


[deleted]

Why is this even a question?


Windmill_flowers

I dunno, I just thought it would be fun to ask


Cupcakelover1985

Calling them shallow, man/woman- hating, entitled etc


AlmostKindaGreat

Expressing a preference about physical characteristics of a woman is dicey. I used to say I like fit women but I don't anymore after being called sizeist and misogynist. I don't think women get too much explicit pushback on height preferences, for example. I think a short guy who happens to hear it could feel some secret resentment against her but I doubt he'd say anything for fear of looking insecure.