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My son (35)was married to a woman (35) with one son. My ex-husband (60 yo) had just gotten divorced from his 2nd wife, and was looking for another wife.
We noticed he was going to visit my son’s MIL (70 yo) who lived next door to my son and DIL.
My son tried talking to his father about getting involved with that family because his MIL had a history of getting her husbands (4 of them) to sign prenups giving her everything.
Well, ex married son’s MIL. Son’s MIL also became his stepmother!
JESUS!
Son came in from work early one day, and found his wife in bed with her 19yo druggy cousin.
Son left, got a divorce, and has a great wife now.
His father, my ex, now 74, wants to get away from his 84 yo wife and is stuck because of the prenup he has signed. He has a shitload of money.
He is fucked, just like we were fucked by him.
I appreciate that compliment so much!!! Definitely helps as aging makes me feel like my "real estate" is falling in value. I think it's just because I'm nice and dye my hair unnatural colours 😅.
The dude this afternoon dropped his vape (landed under a car's tire) as I was walking out out of a small grocery store while him and his friend were checking their truck bed.
I put my groceries in my car and saw he didn't notice. So, I walked over, picked it up, and gave it to his friend.
Dude it belonged to ran up to my car to "thanked me" (looked like he couldn't be older than 20) while I was getting into my car and started the usual chat (in which I told him I was probably old enough to be his mom, he said there was no way I was older than 25, I told him my age, and he persisted). After I declined to give my number a second time, he asked if he could close my door for me, did so, and went on his way. So sweet.
About to be 38 and same. I had this weird experience the other day where for the first time I found someone 20 years older than me attractive in real life. Like I've been crushing on Clooney all my life, but never in reality.
Funny story. I worked at a major state university for a bit. One night someone duped security into posting a campus wide warning that a cougar had been sighted near the corner of X and Y streets (I can’t remember the names)… Friday night around 10 PM… in the campus bar district… in the middle of a very bustling city.
Mid 30s checking in: same
Also: sure, some younger guys are objectively attractive/fit/hot. Stealing a look here and there is nice - doesn't mean I want to be with them.
I'm a gay man in my mid 30s and I feel the same. Guys in their early/mid-20s can be hot but like... try talking to one! I very quickly find myself in dad/mentor mode.
Definitely…it’s the lack of common mental space that is the problem.
Objectively, many adults—young and old—can be physically attractive. But once they unfold their minds, it’s a whole new game.
I can understand where celebrities dating young people comes from.
Like, if you were lonely/isolated and had become incredibly cynical about people in general, I can imagine not minding the transactional /exploitative nature of an age gap.
This would be my answer too. There is a difference between finding them visually attractive and actually wanting to sleep with/date them (i guess this would be sexual attraction).
As a man ages, their testosterone levels change which gives them more weight, more muscle mass, and more hair. So now that I’m at an age where my contemporaries have full beards and chest hair, seeing a 20 year old young man is like seeing a puppy.
Edit: yes, men have more muscle mass at 30 than they do at 20. They have higher bone density at 30, and they’re fatter and hairier at 30. Testosterone is just one player, I don’t have time to argue with every Reddit physiologist about it.
Men don't get more muscle when they get older lol. In fact it's the other way around due to their test getting lower. Most of it is due to their activities up until that point
The process of gaining muscle is so slow that it can take 10 years of dedicated lifting to reach your natural limit.
So a lot of younger guys just don't have enough time in the saddle to become very musclear and strong (without steroids)
So in bodybuilding and strenght sports a lot of the guys will peak in thier 30s unlike nearly all other sports where they peak in their 20s
Depending on their ethnicity really. Having spent time in Asia, mid-20s to mid-30s are quite the same. No visible change for them for at least 10 years. Some 40 yo look like 10 years younger. So well-preserved
Yes. Thats what I’d expect any normal person in their 40’s to say. I see 20’s I’m thinking I’d be happy if you were dating my son. Me? Not even crossing my mind.
*Papakatsu* here (having a old sugar daddy) is super common in Tokyo.
They do it mostly to pay for university costs and rent expenses.
Sometimes they don't have sex with the man, but some BJs absolutely happen.
I think this comment made me realise taking care of children changed perception.
My husband and I briefly took care of our cousin who only barley would be considered young enough to be our child. I think it changed our perception of what we find attractive, not necessarily in a physical appearance sense, but the idea of finding someone attractive who can barely take care of themselves.
Thanks! Weirdly enough this comment is quite helpful. My brand of dyslexia means I struggle with pronouns, and I often jumble my/our/your. The combination of gentle embarrassment and gentle correction is good for my brain to (hopefully) not make the same mistake!
This. Women generally dont find helplessness attractive. We dont want some young dude who can hardly boil an egg and doesnt understand how his credit card works to feel big and powerful. We can handle partners on our level and actually prefer that.
I have 25 year old friends. They're grown, have jobs, some are married. And there are still world between us.
Some older women only want one thing from that young, hard bodied 20 year old.
Same goes for older guys.
If you're doing it correctly, very few words will be exchanged during the interaction and afterwards everyone goes their own way.
Married man, also in my mid 40s, the father of a 24 year old daughter. I see every 20-something person as a kid. I'm sure as I get older, that bar will rise with it.
I’m not. 10 years is my limit. 10 years younger and 10 years older. I won’t go beyond that. He needs to at least be in his 30’s or oldest 50’s, and anything in between. I’m trying to grow old with my man, together.
This really puts things into perspective. When I was in my 20s it was nothing for me to date a man 10 years older. My ex was actually 16 years older than me. He looked younger than me, though, lol. Now im 45 and single and couldn't see myself dating a 60 year old. Nor a 30 year old.
Sounds like you're talking about relationship goals, while OP was asking about attraction. You can be attracted to someone that would not be a good partner.
I agree. I'm 31 and still in college so I meet and interact with an above average amount of 18-22 year olds. Some of them are cute, like a puppy is cute but most are just painfully awkward and insecure (even if they don't seem that way to 20 y/o girls) at best, sometimes I meet one and think to myself "man, I hope my son grows up to be like him" but there's no attraction there.
Basing it off weird Reddit posts there are some older women attracted to younger men. I personally see them as teenagers and would not remotely be interested in that.
Absolutely. I'm 30 tomorrow. Anything 25 years old and younger, they look too young and usually act too young. They're still trying to figure themselves out when I have myself figured out. Wouldn't sleep or date anyone more than two years younger. Even that I'm iffy about. I like some grey hair and a head on their shoulders
That's why I replied to a comment and did not make a separate comment replying to the post. Unless I turn into Leonardo Dicaprio in ten years, I probably won't find men under 25 attractive at that time either.
There are lots of older women attracted to younger men. That is to what the euphemism “cougar” refers. However, when I was a younger man I was married so I always politely declined.
Some men and women are, most aren‘t. I‘m male closing in to 40 and I am certainly not attracted to girls in their (early) 20s. Even late twenties is more and more becoming a nope-thanks for me.
It‘s a generalization that media (and obviously porn) presumes but that doesn‘t stand up to reality.
Exactly! I hate how “men like younger women” keeps being normalised. The older women one is just some kink at this point. Ive never met a man in their 30s/40s+ actively pursuing young women in their 20s, that isnt a creep/is mature. Same for women.
Yeah I think most level headed men are attracted to women close to their own age and as every year went by I was surprised to find the “men like younger women” then wasn’t true or at least for me.
You're not interacting with enough wealthy dudes. Normal 40s dudes aren't chasing 20 year olds cause that's just lining up to be humiliated. If you have the money or the fame to actually have a shot, most of them go for it.
Wealthy men that actively seek young women are men with pathetically low self esteem that think their worth is based on how much they earn and the young women they attract (who only want them for their money). Thats all they’ve got to show for themselves, no personality or humility to show for themselves.
I work in tech. Im around people with money all the time. Men that are like this are not dateable men and usually crazy. Look at Elon musk for example.
Im in my 40s and my sons are 22 and 20, so yes men in their 20s are like my own children., therefore No, I am not attracted to the peers of my children .
I'm 41. Young guys seem to have a thing for me, but I refuse to entertain the thought of sleeping with someone under the age of 30. I'd feel like a creep for even being attracted to a guy under 25.
At 40, I can 100% see and appreciate that an attractive young man is attractive, but my mom instinct is incredibly powerful, and my miscarriage would be about 20 years old now if things had been different, so personally no.
While im still “young”, as a woman whos 26, I agree. Its more young men have this fantasy rather than it being a reality.
Older men that actively pursue much younger women are always losers with poor self esteem. I imagine women who mainly pursue young guys are very immature and again low self esteem.
The cougar myth has not in fact a lot to do with reality. It is more a fantasy thing of young men, that "suffer" from the psychological bias that they overestimate the interest of women in them (whilest interestingly women tend to underestimate interest in them from men´s side).
As a man in his 20’s I’ve been hit on a lot by older women, I’m actually kinda shocked that everyone in this thread is saying it doesn’t happen. Older women have gotten touchy feely with me and extremely flirty with me out of the blue so many times when I’m out clubbing. Has happened to me and all my homies countless times throughout the years. Single cougars lookin to hook up with young guys is not uncommon at all.
I agree, men in their late 20s, early 30s are so much more sexy than men in their 40s and 50s (on the whole. No 20 year old has a chance against a man like Keanu Reeves).
But it's a primal fertility thing.
I'd never hit on a 30 year old, but if he hit on me, I'd definitely flirt back.
Ya they really don’t see what is going on in clubs apparently. Any spot with older women dancing will absolutely see them getting handsy with the 20 something year old men
Definitely not. The vast majority of younger men are not mentally matured and educated enough for them, even if men are same age it is often so. Maybe there can be superficial physical sexual attraction but for women sexual arousal doesn´t come up just by visual stimuli, their brain must also be teased otherwise in many ways.
As a 40f I recently started thinking a +28 year old would be fun to have sex with. But that's where the fantasy would end for me.
So just sex but no conversation or relationship.
:)
Some women who perhaps only want sex could be into a 20 year old... But you have to understand that women generally want more than physical relationship, and a 20 year old boy... Has nothing to offer in that respect. They are completely clueless and empty vessels, with no experience and all the stupid ideas in the world.
Wasn’t there some study and graph about what age of the opposite sex one found most attractive as a factor of one’s own age. For women it grew almost proportionally with their age (but liked their men a bit older than their self(?)). For men supposedly they always claimed around 22 was the age where a woman was most attractive irrespective of the man’s age/their own age.
These were average, cougars do exist but I guess they are more uncommon if this is true. Also I feel I wanna add that even though men, according to this, feel the age 22 to be the most attractive doesn’t mean that they do think it’s right or morally justifies being in any form of relationship with someone of that age if they are much older than that.
I find them handsome, but no… the idea of having sex with a 20 year old feels gross… and exhausting… and a waste of my personal time the to could do any other number of things I would enjoy.
Followed by snacks, tea, and a delicious nap… truth be told, I don’t want the labour intensive relationships of my 20s. I rather have the easy existence of my 40s and the sweet comfort of my husband who thinks I’m witty and is soft in all the right places, so that a hug from him is like being wrapped up in a warm sweater you’ve had for years.
20 year old men are the buds just before they burst into a lovely bloom of colour and gentle pleasure.
Amen sis. I recently became single very unexpectedly and suddenly. I am 41 years old and I honestly plan to never date again. I’m not bitter, the opposite. I’m perfectly content. Me n my pets are quite a fun group and need no new members. Ha!!!
For the record, I do miss my former partner. Our relationship was wonderful. It was a sad circumstance beyond our control that ended things. But alas! Onward.
I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m glad that you’re enjoying a peaceful existence.
Hubby and I often say that if the marriage ended tomorrow suddenly, neither of us would date again because our lives are too full with people and activities, and that the thought of trying to find someone else you can be alone with is too daunting.
Enjoy your peace! Most are striving to reach that paradise.
Admittedly I'm only thirty but I didn't even like guys in their early twenties when I was in my early twenties myself.
I always preferred the conversation of older men. I never went there because I acknowledged that an age gap between me in my early twenties and them in their thirties would only lead to trouble but now I'm the same age it's all good. My current partner is the same age as me and we both admit we wouldn't have worked when we were younger.
I'm 47. Early 20s is too young anymore. I feel yucky even noticing if they're hot.
30+ is usually fine. MAYBE late 20s if they look grown and not super young.
This is purely sexual attraction here. Dating is a lot more nuanced. (Would skew older, for sure.)
Sure! Probably less common than the reverse (older man younger woman) but for sure. I have a recently divorced friend in her 40s who has been on a tear, dating dudes as young as 25 and as old as 68, lol.
I'm 40 and have found some men in their late 20s attractive, but more often than not dudes in their 20s look like kids to me.
If the people she is into are over the age of majority (I certainly hope so), hunt seems like a strong word. Unless she's out there with a bear trap and rifle and mounts every head belonging to her conquests on the wall, of course.
As a woman over 40, no not atracted to them. Feel like I am dating my son. I prefer them about 5 to 10 years older. But there are women that are attracted to younger ones, ofcourse. Lots of cougars in this world.
Reddit loves this topic, but people are attracted to what they're attracted to. It may not be your personal preference, but people in their 20s have attractive bodies, so sure the cougars are interested.
Yes, messed with a 45 year old when I was 23. So can confirm it does happen on occasion. I always wondered why she couldn’t pull men her own age because she was very attractive, fit, then realized it’s because she was super overbearing and had a massive ego due to be being a successful entrepreneur. She would have been a pain to deal with for a guy her age.
Yikes! I'm a 29 yo woman and I'm already extremely unattracted to teens. I wouldn't even consider someone who is under 24 and frankly that's pushing my low end of age.
I was always mature, but 25 was a major year for me. I couldn't and wouldn't be with someone who isn't on, or close to where I'm at mentally. I want my partner to have gone through that same self discovery and know who they are, authentic to themself. I would never be happy with being with someone who basically exists to serve me. That's sickening.
To some, yes. Sex tourism is a thing for middle aged single women of means. But as a guy, younger women really seem like children to me and I couldn't imagine having a romantic conversation with one, so in turn can't really picture them as a source of sexual desire. I'm sure there is a large spectrum for both men and women.
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So they can be appreciated. I always said if they were closer to my kids age then mine that was the boundary. But I've never been attracted to a younger personality. I like established wiser than myself mates.
I’m not even 40 and people in their 20’s seem like children. Same with my husband. Same with a lot of men in my friendship groups. I feel like among my friends there’s an equal number of age gap relationships where either the man or woman is older, with various levels of “yikes”.
I used to think young guys were absolutely hopeless until I had a 27 year old.
God he’s mature, Highly educated, the choice of words he uses, etc .. it made me feel there is a 40 year old man in his body.
But funny he said the same about me: there is 40 year old mature woman in this 20 year old body.
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I’m 38 and I’m at that age where some 25 year old guys are attractive, but so are some of their dads 😅
I knew a girl that got cheated on by this one dude and then became his stepmom
Man that whole family (dude’s family) sounds like a mess. Son is a cheater, dad dates son’s ex. Absolute insanity.
Oddly enough, I did get that one on my bingo card
What type of bingo is this
Dr Phil
We’ll be right back
That's one way to get back at your ex!
I'm gonna do what they call a pro gamer move
My son (35)was married to a woman (35) with one son. My ex-husband (60 yo) had just gotten divorced from his 2nd wife, and was looking for another wife. We noticed he was going to visit my son’s MIL (70 yo) who lived next door to my son and DIL. My son tried talking to his father about getting involved with that family because his MIL had a history of getting her husbands (4 of them) to sign prenups giving her everything. Well, ex married son’s MIL. Son’s MIL also became his stepmother! JESUS! Son came in from work early one day, and found his wife in bed with her 19yo druggy cousin. Son left, got a divorce, and has a great wife now. His father, my ex, now 74, wants to get away from his 84 yo wife and is stuck because of the prenup he has signed. He has a shitload of money. He is fucked, just like we were fucked by him.
damn... what a mess. \*Note to self\* Raise a bad son as a form of future planning
I'm 38 and get hit on/asked for my numbers by dudes in their 20s when I'm out and about. Dude, I'm not Mrs. Robinson, but thanks for the compliments.
Your confidence is probably sexy 👍
I appreciate that compliment so much!!! Definitely helps as aging makes me feel like my "real estate" is falling in value. I think it's just because I'm nice and dye my hair unnatural colours 😅. The dude this afternoon dropped his vape (landed under a car's tire) as I was walking out out of a small grocery store while him and his friend were checking their truck bed. I put my groceries in my car and saw he didn't notice. So, I walked over, picked it up, and gave it to his friend. Dude it belonged to ran up to my car to "thanked me" (looked like he couldn't be older than 20) while I was getting into my car and started the usual chat (in which I told him I was probably old enough to be his mom, he said there was no way I was older than 25, I told him my age, and he persisted). After I declined to give my number a second time, he asked if he could close my door for me, did so, and went on his way. So sweet.
Should have taken him for a ride..lol
About to be 38 and same. I had this weird experience the other day where for the first time I found someone 20 years older than me attractive in real life. Like I've been crushing on Clooney all my life, but never in reality.
Funny story. I worked at a major state university for a bit. One night someone duped security into posting a campus wide warning that a cougar had been sighted near the corner of X and Y streets (I can’t remember the names)… Friday night around 10 PM… in the campus bar district… in the middle of a very bustling city.
this is so fucking funny
Mid 30s checking in: same Also: sure, some younger guys are objectively attractive/fit/hot. Stealing a look here and there is nice - doesn't mean I want to be with them.
I'm a gay man in my mid 30s and I feel the same. Guys in their early/mid-20s can be hot but like... try talking to one! I very quickly find myself in dad/mentor mode.
Definitely…it’s the lack of common mental space that is the problem. Objectively, many adults—young and old—can be physically attractive. But once they unfold their minds, it’s a whole new game.
I'm a 32 year old straight guy and I feel the same way about most early 20's girls. Insanely hot but I feel like I'm in middleschool after 3 minutes.
Exactly!! Attractive, sure, make my maternal instincts kick in, also yes. And that's not sexy.
I can understand where celebrities dating young people comes from. Like, if you were lonely/isolated and had become incredibly cynical about people in general, I can imagine not minding the transactional /exploitative nature of an age gap.
Im at the same place as a guy early 30s, i keep bouncing between older and younger women.
Yes but late 20s. I find them attractive, but that’s about it.
I think this comment goes for any gender's perspective
I may find them objectively attractive but I don't have any desire to date or sleep with them.
Kinda like watching a painting. I like Mona lisa but i don't want to fuck her
Well i hope not 👀
Are you 33 years old? Do you live in the Northeast section of your town?
Like when Kevin says a painting can be beautiful, but he doesn’t wanna bang it
You have nothing to lose and only live once. Do it. Fuck a painting.
This would be my answer too. There is a difference between finding them visually attractive and actually wanting to sleep with/date them (i guess this would be sexual attraction).
To me, people in their 20s are children.
Couldn’t agree more - and I’m in my 30s, haha.
I am mid 30s and men in their early-mid twenties look like kids to me too! It’s so strange how that happens.
Really can talk then mama
As a woman of a particular age, when I see hairless skinny young boys I think “awww college was so long ago. So cute! 😍❤️💕😍”
Bro…
As a man ages, their testosterone levels change which gives them more weight, more muscle mass, and more hair. So now that I’m at an age where my contemporaries have full beards and chest hair, seeing a 20 year old young man is like seeing a puppy. Edit: yes, men have more muscle mass at 30 than they do at 20. They have higher bone density at 30, and they’re fatter and hairier at 30. Testosterone is just one player, I don’t have time to argue with every Reddit physiologist about it.
Men don't get more muscle when they get older lol. In fact it's the other way around due to their test getting lower. Most of it is due to their activities up until that point
To add to that, getting fatter is correlated to falling testosterone levels
The process of gaining muscle is so slow that it can take 10 years of dedicated lifting to reach your natural limit. So a lot of younger guys just don't have enough time in the saddle to become very musclear and strong (without steroids) So in bodybuilding and strenght sports a lot of the guys will peak in thier 30s unlike nearly all other sports where they peak in their 20s
Depending on their ethnicity really. Having spent time in Asia, mid-20s to mid-30s are quite the same. No visible change for them for at least 10 years. Some 40 yo look like 10 years younger. So well-preserved
lol I had a full beard and covered in chest hair at 15…
I'm in my late 20s and people in their early 20s feel like kids to me lol
Yes. Thats what I’d expect any normal person in their 40’s to say. I see 20’s I’m thinking I’d be happy if you were dating my son. Me? Not even crossing my mind.
Here in Japan many (many) married older women pay male hosts (in their 20s) to sleep with them. and the husbands do the same with the school girls..
So, Japan is out there, huh?
yup and the birth rate is insanely low over there regardless of this
Regardless? Because of it, if anything. You won't have a kid with another kid if you can help it.
School girls? They pay school girls?
*Papakatsu* here (having a old sugar daddy) is super common in Tokyo. They do it mostly to pay for university costs and rent expenses. Sometimes they don't have sex with the man, but some BJs absolutely happen.
How about 5 years younger?
I’m 59. So 5 years is nothing. But if you’re 21, 5 years is a crime. All about perspective.
Ah, yes that's a big difference
I was gonna say 41 dating 29 is immensely different than 49 dating 21.
There’s 16 years difference between those two, of course it’s different
Agree. I find them immature and needy. 40s here
Nope. I'm 45 with a 24 year old son.
I think this comment made me realise taking care of children changed perception. My husband and I briefly took care of our cousin who only barley would be considered young enough to be our child. I think it changed our perception of what we find attractive, not necessarily in a physical appearance sense, but the idea of finding someone attractive who can barely take care of themselves.
>My husband and I >Our Cousin Something ain’t adding up here chief
Oh gosh I didn’t realise 🤣 my cousin by blood, his cousin by marriage!
For future refrence, I think if you said "my cousin" it would have been better.
Thanks! Weirdly enough this comment is quite helpful. My brand of dyslexia means I struggle with pronouns, and I often jumble my/our/your. The combination of gentle embarrassment and gentle correction is good for my brain to (hopefully) not make the same mistake!
*West Virginia intensifies*
This. Women generally dont find helplessness attractive. We dont want some young dude who can hardly boil an egg and doesnt understand how his credit card works to feel big and powerful. We can handle partners on our level and actually prefer that. I have 25 year old friends. They're grown, have jobs, some are married. And there are still world between us.
Some older women only want one thing from that young, hard bodied 20 year old. Same goes for older guys. If you're doing it correctly, very few words will be exchanged during the interaction and afterwards everyone goes their own way.
At least someone is being honest amongst all the fake pearl clutching!
Yep. 37 with a 15 year old daughter. It really puts shit into perspective. A 25 year old would be closer to her than me. No thank you.
Exactly. I’m 44 with a 26 year old son, still baby faced to me lol
Exactly!
My son and I will be there before too long so also NOPE. They all look/act like children to me.
i was 9 when my mom was 45 holy
Married man, also in my mid 40s, the father of a 24 year old daughter. I see every 20-something person as a kid. I'm sure as I get older, that bar will rise with it.
I’m not. 10 years is my limit. 10 years younger and 10 years older. I won’t go beyond that. He needs to at least be in his 30’s or oldest 50’s, and anything in between. I’m trying to grow old with my man, together.
I know a broadcaster whose 30 odd years younger than her man. I was like holy fuck!
Unexpected Heather Du Plessis-Allan!
This really puts things into perspective. When I was in my 20s it was nothing for me to date a man 10 years older. My ex was actually 16 years older than me. He looked younger than me, though, lol. Now im 45 and single and couldn't see myself dating a 60 year old. Nor a 30 year old.
Sounds like you're talking about relationship goals, while OP was asking about attraction. You can be attracted to someone that would not be a good partner.
No offence, but I think you may have misunderstood the question.
They're cute but I view them like I'd view a cute puppy.
I agree. I'm 31 and still in college so I meet and interact with an above average amount of 18-22 year olds. Some of them are cute, like a puppy is cute but most are just painfully awkward and insecure (even if they don't seem that way to 20 y/o girls) at best, sometimes I meet one and think to myself "man, I hope my son grows up to be like him" but there's no attraction there.
Basing it off weird Reddit posts there are some older women attracted to younger men. I personally see them as teenagers and would not remotely be interested in that.
Absolutely. I'm 30 tomorrow. Anything 25 years old and younger, they look too young and usually act too young. They're still trying to figure themselves out when I have myself figured out. Wouldn't sleep or date anyone more than two years younger. Even that I'm iffy about. I like some grey hair and a head on their shoulders
The post does mention women over 40 though, you're 10 years removed.
That's why I replied to a comment and did not make a separate comment replying to the post. Unless I turn into Leonardo Dicaprio in ten years, I probably won't find men under 25 attractive at that time either.
There are lots of older women attracted to younger men. That is to what the euphemism “cougar” refers. However, when I was a younger man I was married so I always politely declined.
Some men and women are, most aren‘t. I‘m male closing in to 40 and I am certainly not attracted to girls in their (early) 20s. Even late twenties is more and more becoming a nope-thanks for me. It‘s a generalization that media (and obviously porn) presumes but that doesn‘t stand up to reality.
Exactly! I hate how “men like younger women” keeps being normalised. The older women one is just some kink at this point. Ive never met a man in their 30s/40s+ actively pursuing young women in their 20s, that isnt a creep/is mature. Same for women.
Maybe it's normalized because it's statistically proven...at least among older men on dating apps.
Yeah I think most level headed men are attracted to women close to their own age and as every year went by I was surprised to find the “men like younger women” then wasn’t true or at least for me.
You're not interacting with enough wealthy dudes. Normal 40s dudes aren't chasing 20 year olds cause that's just lining up to be humiliated. If you have the money or the fame to actually have a shot, most of them go for it.
Wealthy men that actively seek young women are men with pathetically low self esteem that think their worth is based on how much they earn and the young women they attract (who only want them for their money). Thats all they’ve got to show for themselves, no personality or humility to show for themselves. I work in tech. Im around people with money all the time. Men that are like this are not dateable men and usually crazy. Look at Elon musk for example.
Im in my 40s and my sons are 22 and 20, so yes men in their 20s are like my own children., therefore No, I am not attracted to the peers of my children .
I'm 41. Young guys seem to have a thing for me, but I refuse to entertain the thought of sleeping with someone under the age of 30. I'd feel like a creep for even being attracted to a guy under 25.
Me too! Especially when I'm on Tiktok and see a guy who's attractive, knowing that's he's young, makes me feel yucky lol
At 40, I can 100% see and appreciate that an attractive young man is attractive, but my mom instinct is incredibly powerful, and my miscarriage would be about 20 years old now if things had been different, so personally no.
No. Straight Women in their forties generally like men not theirs children’s friends
or their friends children!
Jada Pinkett Smith likes pretending it's normal...
She pretends a lot of weird shit is normal (that did make me chuckle though)
What in God's name are you talking about? That was a healing entanglement. Did you not watch the red table?
While im still “young”, as a woman whos 26, I agree. Its more young men have this fantasy rather than it being a reality. Older men that actively pursue much younger women are always losers with poor self esteem. I imagine women who mainly pursue young guys are very immature and again low self esteem.
They are called cougars!
The cougar myth has not in fact a lot to do with reality. It is more a fantasy thing of young men, that "suffer" from the psychological bias that they overestimate the interest of women in them (whilest interestingly women tend to underestimate interest in them from men´s side).
As a man in his 20’s I’ve been hit on a lot by older women, I’m actually kinda shocked that everyone in this thread is saying it doesn’t happen. Older women have gotten touchy feely with me and extremely flirty with me out of the blue so many times when I’m out clubbing. Has happened to me and all my homies countless times throughout the years. Single cougars lookin to hook up with young guys is not uncommon at all.
I agree, men in their late 20s, early 30s are so much more sexy than men in their 40s and 50s (on the whole. No 20 year old has a chance against a man like Keanu Reeves). But it's a primal fertility thing. I'd never hit on a 30 year old, but if he hit on me, I'd definitely flirt back.
Ya they really don’t see what is going on in clubs apparently. Any spot with older women dancing will absolutely see them getting handsy with the 20 something year old men
I agree, I had plenty of sex with women in their 30’s and 40’s while I was as young as 21….. it’s a thing
It definitely happens, a lot more than people would love to admit.
A cougar (60+ish) touched 19 year old me up at a club once. Not a myth. I wasn't drunk enough so I could reject that*
My wife is in her 60s, as am I, she makes no secret of her fantasy regarding being with a man in his 20s, but she wants it to remain a fantasy...
>The cougar myth has not in fact a lot to do with reality. You don't hang around in night clubs much huh?
not me no, not at all
Definitely not. The vast majority of younger men are not mentally matured and educated enough for them, even if men are same age it is often so. Maybe there can be superficial physical sexual attraction but for women sexual arousal doesn´t come up just by visual stimuli, their brain must also be teased otherwise in many ways.
As a 40f I recently started thinking a +28 year old would be fun to have sex with. But that's where the fantasy would end for me. So just sex but no conversation or relationship. :)
Some women who perhaps only want sex could be into a 20 year old... But you have to understand that women generally want more than physical relationship, and a 20 year old boy... Has nothing to offer in that respect. They are completely clueless and empty vessels, with no experience and all the stupid ideas in the world.
Wasn’t there some study and graph about what age of the opposite sex one found most attractive as a factor of one’s own age. For women it grew almost proportionally with their age (but liked their men a bit older than their self(?)). For men supposedly they always claimed around 22 was the age where a woman was most attractive irrespective of the man’s age/their own age. These were average, cougars do exist but I guess they are more uncommon if this is true. Also I feel I wanna add that even though men, according to this, feel the age 22 to be the most attractive doesn’t mean that they do think it’s right or morally justifies being in any form of relationship with someone of that age if they are much older than that.
this man hasn't been interested in a 22 yr old since i was that age myself. make it through your saturn return and we'll talk
Exactly.. I’m 30 and I’d never be interested in dating a 22 year old. Generally for me the age range i find most attractive is +/- 3 years.
I'm in my mid twenties and celebrated my 1 year anniversary last month with my 43 y/o gf :)
I find them handsome, but no… the idea of having sex with a 20 year old feels gross… and exhausting… and a waste of my personal time the to could do any other number of things I would enjoy.
Yeah like reading a book on my couch!!
Followed by snacks, tea, and a delicious nap… truth be told, I don’t want the labour intensive relationships of my 20s. I rather have the easy existence of my 40s and the sweet comfort of my husband who thinks I’m witty and is soft in all the right places, so that a hug from him is like being wrapped up in a warm sweater you’ve had for years. 20 year old men are the buds just before they burst into a lovely bloom of colour and gentle pleasure.
Amen sis. I recently became single very unexpectedly and suddenly. I am 41 years old and I honestly plan to never date again. I’m not bitter, the opposite. I’m perfectly content. Me n my pets are quite a fun group and need no new members. Ha!!! For the record, I do miss my former partner. Our relationship was wonderful. It was a sad circumstance beyond our control that ended things. But alas! Onward.
I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m glad that you’re enjoying a peaceful existence. Hubby and I often say that if the marriage ended tomorrow suddenly, neither of us would date again because our lives are too full with people and activities, and that the thought of trying to find someone else you can be alone with is too daunting. Enjoy your peace! Most are striving to reach that paradise.
Thank you so much. I hope you and your husband have a long, happy life together.
Admittedly I'm only thirty but I didn't even like guys in their early twenties when I was in my early twenties myself. I always preferred the conversation of older men. I never went there because I acknowledged that an age gap between me in my early twenties and them in their thirties would only lead to trouble but now I'm the same age it's all good. My current partner is the same age as me and we both admit we wouldn't have worked when we were younger.
I’m 50f and he’s 37m - been together 9 yrs. I took a chance and happy I did.
Personally, no. I do see anyone under 25 as a kid more or less. Mentally and physically.
No, they starting to look like literal children to me.
I’m 36 (f) and went on a date with a 31 year old (m). That felt like a huge age gap. Give me the dads, daddies, and all that jazz.
physically? yes. mentally? no unless they are already very wealthy like with ashton kutcher and demi moore
Yes but we won’t shoot our shot cause it seems weird tbh 🤣
im 26 and ive been hooking up with the 45 year old secretary from work.
No. Their brains have barely hit maturity.
I'm 47. Early 20s is too young anymore. I feel yucky even noticing if they're hot. 30+ is usually fine. MAYBE late 20s if they look grown and not super young. This is purely sexual attraction here. Dating is a lot more nuanced. (Would skew older, for sure.)
Same here. I can appreciate the sexiness of a 27 year old, but to date them? Not sure that would work out.
Same. I don’t even see them. But mid 30s? Yum
No, not when they are young enough to be my own child. Even if they are adults, they'd still be practically kids to me.
Could it ever happen? Maybe? Has it yet? No. My taste in men has aged with my age.
I mean, 20s is when most people (male or female) peak in conventional attractiveness.
late 20’s is probably my limit
OP is naive.
Extremely.
If you look good and muscles I'm sure you can get a cougar.
Generally women seek men within a 5 year age range of themselves.
It’s the perfect age gap. Max 5 years up/down
Yesssss
Can’t speak for all women , but my mom’s friend crawled into bed with me after a night of drinking when I was 19 she was thirty six.
I'm a 40 yo woman and yes sometimes I am
I'm late 40's, but since I hit 40, nobody under 30, now that's up to 35...
Try a 29 then ;)
O
Every 10 years past 18 you get to carry one more thought in your head at the same time simultaneously.
Sure! Probably less common than the reverse (older man younger woman) but for sure. I have a recently divorced friend in her 40s who has been on a tear, dating dudes as young as 25 and as old as 68, lol. I'm 40 and have found some men in their late 20s attractive, but more often than not dudes in their 20s look like kids to me.
I'm in my late 30s, anyone below 25 is definitely too young for me to date.
[удалено]
If the people she is into are over the age of majority (I certainly hope so), hunt seems like a strong word. Unless she's out there with a bear trap and rifle and mounts every head belonging to her conquests on the wall, of course.
She prob a narcissist nutjob.
Physically sure
No. They look like infants
I 40 have a crush on a 24 year old but I would never actually go there.
I met my ex of 12 yrs when i was 21 and she was 39 so yes they can.
Was the age difference an important factor in your breakup? Or menopause? Asking for a friend…
As a woman over 40, no not atracted to them. Feel like I am dating my son. I prefer them about 5 to 10 years older. But there are women that are attracted to younger ones, ofcourse. Lots of cougars in this world.
Nope. Babies
Depends, if we’re looking for stamina and a good time then yes but for long term no way.
Reddit loves this topic, but people are attracted to what they're attracted to. It may not be your personal preference, but people in their 20s have attractive bodies, so sure the cougars are interested.
Is anyone attracted to men in their 20s?! Lol
Yes, messed with a 45 year old when I was 23. So can confirm it does happen on occasion. I always wondered why she couldn’t pull men her own age because she was very attractive, fit, then realized it’s because she was super overbearing and had a massive ego due to be being a successful entrepreneur. She would have been a pain to deal with for a guy her age.
42 and not attracted to anyone. 6 years voluntarily sexless and refusing to date or "find" a partner.
Asexual aromantic?
I'm sure some are, but nah - I'm 41 and anyone under 35 looks like a kid to me. It's a cultural thing, only shitty men pursue women so much younger.
Attractive but they are still kids! So much to figure out. I don't wanna be someone's momma.
A 40+ man or woman pursuing a girl or boy in their late teens/early 20s is a predator.
Yikes! I'm a 29 yo woman and I'm already extremely unattracted to teens. I wouldn't even consider someone who is under 24 and frankly that's pushing my low end of age.
as someone who still feels like a kid a lot of the time mentally-speaking at 22, thank you for setting a good example
I was always mature, but 25 was a major year for me. I couldn't and wouldn't be with someone who isn't on, or close to where I'm at mentally. I want my partner to have gone through that same self discovery and know who they are, authentic to themself. I would never be happy with being with someone who basically exists to serve me. That's sickening.
Yes. Cougars are awesome.
To some, yes. Sex tourism is a thing for middle aged single women of means. But as a guy, younger women really seem like children to me and I couldn't imagine having a romantic conversation with one, so in turn can't really picture them as a source of sexual desire. I'm sure there is a large spectrum for both men and women.
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How about guys over 60? 😜
So they can be appreciated. I always said if they were closer to my kids age then mine that was the boundary. But I've never been attracted to a younger personality. I like established wiser than myself mates.
They don’t view young men as kids, but they will fuck you.
Each to their own, but I'm in my late 30s and 20 year olds look like kids to me.
Not really, plus as someone in the ENM community, the lack of experience in bed is often disappointing.
I’m not over 40 but I am attracted to dapper young men but I’ve already been terrorized by men in their 20s for 15 years of my life; never again.
I’m not even 40 and people in their 20’s seem like children. Same with my husband. Same with a lot of men in my friendship groups. I feel like among my friends there’s an equal number of age gap relationships where either the man or woman is older, with various levels of “yikes”.
I used to think young guys were absolutely hopeless until I had a 27 year old. God he’s mature, Highly educated, the choice of words he uses, etc .. it made me feel there is a 40 year old man in his body. But funny he said the same about me: there is 40 year old mature woman in this 20 year old body.
I am.
Hey :)
Kids
Oh hell no.....
Some are cute but id never date one, it's weird