OP's Bio: --- >A world traveler addicted to astrology, psychology, Taylor swift, and coffee. I’m destiny but you can call me basic :) --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

He's all about that Kremlin, and not about this Gremlin.


Why when I read that, and saw this, my mind was playing tri poloski...

He got tired of putin it in her

Thanks to OP, he's Lenin towards dudes now.

There’s no rasputin that

And he in military now and you know he's getting fucked by Chechens

He went overseas to avoid a venereal diseases.

His penis is now free to be Putin anyone he wants...nyet her

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Yo Commotion, let me apply some lotion Someone get this hoe back across the ocean I see you self proclaim as a “World Traveler” On a one way flight to let Putin unravel her 100 percent Daddy has to think you are insane For swallowing more Russians than all of Ukraine Understandably he is still pissed and very weary After reading “Get Sex Trafficked” on the itinerary Legend has it ole Dad still can not find her Last seen wearing her favorite jersey, Brittney Griner

Lmao, he'd rather be in Ukraine, than in you.

I need to be jailed for this

The KGB actually views you as an asset for successfully convincing your boyfriend to fight in Ukraine

Legit curious why this comment is so downvoted

Congrats, you controlled the reddit hivemind

Yeah, I feel like she's saying she's worse than war crimes, so she should be in jail, or something like that. I figure a bunch of people roasting just thought it was unfunny or something lol. I upvoted to try to help.

Gah dayum 💀

My 300-gallon fish tank has less filters than your picture

And I assume it’s full of creatures with similar eyes.

And smell

fewer*

The only filter you didn’t use on this photo was the “reduce gigantic forehead “ app

One more filter and she would have looked ridiculous! Ohh wait…

so filtered she has no nose just two slits for nostrils. I bet her Instagram posts are super thirsty and pathetic. #nofilter

Eyelashes are gone too😂

She makes Voldemort look Nosey.

"I want to be roasted. Let's see what you've got!" ::proceeds to do make up, poses with duckface, puts a shit ton of filters on before taking 25 photos perfectly angled until she found the one that made her the least ugly:: Yep, no self image issues here whatsoever.

Spent more time filtering the picture than she did combing her hair. Anime looking face with bed head.

We call that a Goku

Flawless Victory!

I bet she dreams in IMAX

r/rareinsults

"What filter did you use?" "Yes".

Wait filter? Singular???

It's so funny how you almost never really see that a human's eyes are only halfway up the cranium until you can really see it

Plot twist. She actually used it.

She used it, this was the best the app could do, it's an app not a magic spell after all.

It's so confusing. That many filters but not enough common sense to grow a fringe and hide the five head. And I can't tell if it's the filters creating that uncanny valley effect or if her face was melted at some point and put back together by a really good sculptor who got it REALLY close to human. Close but not quite there.

Even her eyes are embarrassed about that big forehead. They are trying to run around the back of her head and hide.

Fivehead*

Woah! I've never heard *that* one before! /s

That's more like a six head

So you’re saying you’ll swipe right on anyone wearing a tracksuit on Tinder

Don't forget the slav squat

Kvas and a cigarette

Gopnik squat

Was gonna say this

boys, im buying a tracksuit

I stopped reading at astrology

>I stopped reading at astrology So did she

I bet you’re a Gemini

Scorpio cmon gotta astrology better.

It was a 1 in 12 chance

Actually 13 these days.

I bet your a cancer… in everyone’s lives.

> bet your a *you're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)

Good bot.

Thanks.

Good bot

Thank you.

Weird that you use both Meyers Briggs and astrology.

Why? They're both superstitious bunkum.

I appreciate your persistence

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Maybe so, but at least I was heading the right way

lmfao, kk this one got me 💀

looking at your post history shows he dodged a bullet

the sleuth roast, well done.

I was preparing him for the wAr

He left because you're a bOre

He's Putin his dick in more attractive women.

Bet your pussy looks like Kharkiv now


Spetsnazty

After the war, yes.

Fuckin’ mind reading out here.

You're so insecure about your looks that you even used the airbrush on your hand lmao

you’ve got more filters on your face than a HVAC system in a high rise.

At least something is on me

But we know what *isn't* in you.

You look like that ruined painting of Jesus done by a shitty AI program.

my coffee is less filtered than you; give it up, You look like a watercolor bitch.

“Watercolor bitch” has a nice ring to it

The only ring anyone will ever give you. Cherish it.

Momo? I...thought you were a made up internet creepypasta! 😱

It looks worse when the lights get dark

No, you definitely look better in the dark.

Take the filters off and try again. Why even bother posting to this subreddit with a filtered photo? So stupid.

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Lol I think this flew way over her head

No chance, its just to big for that to happen.

Sir yes sir 🫡

I hate the insane filter but why is everyone disliking your comment

Bruh you just getting comment downvotes for no reason 😭😭

“world traveler” - you really never gave a shit about this guy, you’re “a free spirit” and were probably just using him anyway. “addicted to astrology [and] psychology” - you will use any means necessary to rationalize your own behavior and demonize someone else’s, these are not intellectual interests but the loose scaffolding on which your fragile psyche rests i predict in 2-4 years you will find someone who makes you feel at home, try to settle down with that person, and having never really considered any of your personal issues, it will go bad quickly. you will never see your own faults, and so you will never make a relationship work. as it is, you’re destined to be alone forever. have a great day!

"“addicted to astrology [and] psychology” - you will use any means necessary to rationalize your own behavior and demonize someone else’s, these are not intellectual interests but the loose scaffolding on which your fragile psyche rests" That was goddamn poetry

Wondered why my lasts few relationships didn’t work out I also am I interested in astrology and psychology, this is some useful insight . I may have unknowingly been rationalizing … helpful thanks !

Yeah.. your first clue should have been that where the moon was when you popped out of your moms vag has nothing to do with your personality.

lol things you don’t say when you want to fuck hot dumb girls but yes, even us fake shamans and reiki healers are thinking it

Lol solid point

Most direct psych evaluation ever. You saved me $500 of therapy. Thank you kind soul

And 3 years of a shitty relationship 👍

One does simply not, take that kindly.

Shit… this hurt me for her.

Youre crosseyed and a balding female... Have fun with that.

I’ll put this on my resume

I don't feel like roasting you.

Goddamn. Her ex knows this EXACT feeling.

Wow. This comment was the most hurtful :/

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"I just broke up with my Russian bf". Translation: "My Russian bf was captured by Ukraine because I accidentally made his phone go off during a stealth mission. I just wanted to tell him about my daily horoscope"

Ukrainian officers look at the photo of his gf. Immediately send him off for an eye exam

It would explain why he never got back to me

So many filters I’m surprised she didn’t look like a jug of Brita water.

You look like a less-stable Jodi Arias.

I hate that I can see this

Russians are willing to run face first into superior firepower, agains HIMARS rockets and the best western weaponry, yet one look at you is enough to send them running back.

So you’re saying I can save the Ukraine? 😏

It's just Ukraine. The Ukraine was a Soviet State

Pretty sure thats a war crime

I've seen better Filters in Flint, Michigan.

He's rushing to see other women and not ukraine? Thats a step up in my book

He’s rushing for women without man hands to remind him that he’s not as small as you made him look.

This is either the worst photo filter in the world or you wiped your greasy forehead oil over your cam lens. . .

Oh you look like that AND have puns?! I see why he left.

If 'trolling for dick at the 711' was a person...

Don’t insult 711 like that. There are better snacks in there than me!

You are the girl still at the bar at 2 am every Friday and Saturday night. Will you please close your tab?

Medusa filter in effect

Only fans page drop in 3, 2, 1

You mean he’s Russian off the water to get away from your ass. Can you use all those filters to try and cover up what you really look like but in reality you look like you’re giving bj’s behind the Dollar store

Why does it have to be the dollar store, why can’t it be Starbucks?

Starbucks is for classy bitches

Because you’re too basic for even Starbucks

After reading that bio he probably went to join the frontlines of Ukraine because sleeping in a trench was better then sleeping next to you.

You seem unlovable.

Your face looks like a stuffed stocking with eyes and a nose with lips drawn on

If Greta Thunberg used makeup

Try joe dirt

He didn't run off. He tried to kiss you but slipped on that thick layer of make-up on your face and had been trying to regain traction ever since.

Your face is so filtered Brita is taking note

*breaks up with bf* *Bf moves on* *Shocked Pikachu face* Bitch fuck off.

I’m holding my hand on a hot stove right now, seeing as how your an empath- this should make you feel burned. Burn successful, goodnight.

forehead

Crimea river over your break-up. Your bf is off to toughshitsky.

take your mask off and we will really roast you

I’m guessing you weren’t good at keeping an eye on your bf.

When sticking your dick in Ukraine is safer than sticking your dick in crazy

Avatard

Dodged a bullet there with Ivan make sure you ask your doctor to refill your valtrex prescription now that you’re single

Please use hair loss shampoo and don't scrub your hair too much. Good luck.

I’d probably break my own leg to get out of dating you too!

That phone overheated because of all the filters applied

🎼Ra-ra-Ras-poo-teen... 🎶 Didn't want this filtered queen... There is no detail upon her face... Ra-ra-Ras-poo-teen... 🎶 Nutted, laughed and fled the scene... She's glazed and he's gone without a trace... 🎵 Of course, I'm kidding. I applaud your chutzpah in the face of a break up, and I hope you feel better really soon. And I'm guessing it's good riddance to bad rubbish. Better days, friend.

Did your pussy look like the Taiga wild forest? Or like Stalin’s scorched earth strategy?

All those clothes to choose from and that’s what you wear? K.

You look like you celebrated Opposite Day until freshman year of college.

Why put an expiration on it?

That long distance relationship couldn’t have been more further apart than your eyes

Your hairline isn’t the only thing Russian away from that face

A wish.com girlfriend...

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I'm sure he traded up!!!

you look like pokimane's trashy cousin

Brokimane

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Don't be sad, he would have been conscripted soon anyway.

Is that a selfie or an AI generated image? I actually can't tell...

You look like you exist off exclusively sucking the souls from men.

Another casualty of war.

If "I give really unenthusiastic hand jobs" had a face

Shouldn’t have mentioned your ex is Russian. He’ll probably get more roasts than you

Crimea a river

You are the personification of starfish sex

He’s banging a Ukrainian, 100%

Your head looks like a used mop 

If only things worked out as smoothly as that smoothface filter app.

Silicone sex dolls look realer than you

Your ex was Russian? So that means there was Norway that he would let you Finnish first.

You look like a cheap Russian sex doll. Looking for a new owner. As you fight Chlamydia, and vaginal dryness.

You look like you sell handies on OfferUp

You’re the type of chick that comes to r/roastme for attention. Fix your fingernail polish and stop taking selfies in boutique toddler clothing stores. Get a fucking life.


Honestly basic-destiny, why did the Russian boyfriend leave you? Is the question that we all want to know the answer to… what did you really do?

I don’t think we have enough time for this story

He was getting tired being of ambushed and nagged by Zelenskyy. It was time for him to pull out and start Putin it in other chicks.

Punny and too smart for her own good. As she realizes for the next 10 years how she could have enjoyed years of abuse and belittlement if only she hadn’t broke up with her bf.

Looks like he took your dignity and skin texture with him

Resting провал face

I missed the opportunity to say “resting borscht face”. That ones better :)

I don't like you.

Did he steal your tits on the way out?

It's OK sweetie.. lots of other mail orders out there

I think he left cause your vagina smells like how you look.

It’s a good thing he left the only thing he would’ve gave you that’s long and hard is his last name

Photo shopped no good