I’m not gonna roast you.. it may start a grease fire.

Holy shit, 

Fat ality

You can call her Doja Fat Cardi Big or Cardi Broke Megan Three Ton Nicki Miserable... Lol haha

🤦🏾‍♀️ got me

I didn't know shea butter and shame was so flammable 

Ooooooommmmmmmmfffffg!!! That one took me out!

But upon seeing it, you whipped out the Zippo. I winced, then I upvoted.

Got damn !

You better have your flour ready baby

Is that so we can roll you in it to find the wet spot?

I came here to roast her. As a heterosexual male, now I just want to thank her for having the decency to be a lesbian.

[удалено]

 Saved you the click.

Pretty accurate

#PERFECTION CHUB MATCH

Lezzo 

I did. Was boring af. It was as fun as a fart in the sauna.

Idk I kinda like a whodunit

I did. I figured out why no one else did. She sucks at singing and isn't pretty.

Her milkshake brings all the lezzers to suffocate 🤢 

That's a very wordy way of saying you're unemployed and live with your grandmother.

It's a wordy way of saying truffle shuffle. 

Give her a break. I think she looks just like Mindy Kaling! …after scrappers finished removing all the pretty parts.

Oh my goodness cute wittle belly

Want to cry today? Just take a hard look at your life choices. Sorry, that was really hard, sort of like your friend's strap on.

I really doubt even a strap on could stay erect around her

😆😆👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼☠️☠️🔥🔥🔥

LMFAO

Kmart Lizzo

Used to make songs about how she can’t find a guy… Now she makes songs about how she can’t find a girl.

You know how some people have eyes that are just happy and full of life? This is like the opposite of that.

You claiming to be a songwriter is a bigger stretch than the threading in that spandex.

I bet you squirt cooking grease

THIS IS GREAT!! I was going to say chitlin grease

Only olive and avocado oil

Because... Of course you do! I got 5 bucks that says your Vegan/Vegetarian too.

Yes but, one of the nuts that thinks Doritos, Little Debbie, and diet soda are vegan.

You didn't need to mention you were lesbian.

Why? now women can avoid her too

Brutal!

Your wig looks like Lego hair

Tina Burger

At least you know you won’t make it on onlyfans

Baby, if I had the courage, you better believe me I would be rolling in the dough and I’m not talking about money 🤪

Oh we know. Nobody would pay for that.

Nice self-own

Lizzbo

Underrated lol 

Named Porshia but looks like Volkswagen

Slug bug brown, no takebacks

Name is Porshia but drives a Kia or Nissan Altima

A usb microphone from Temu and some horsehair from the RuPaul collection is all you need to make you a YouTube songwriter?

Megan Thee ‘Potamus

I’m jumping for you

I know. I can feel it from here.

Nice way of saying all the guys said no.

If only they did, I’d still be a virgin

If you ever went on tour you'd probably be sponsored by Golden Corral

Hey, if they’re paying for everything, I’ll take it

[удалено]

My smile is very big

You wearing exercise shorts is comedy enough

All your songs are about cake cookies and candy

This song is called, Diabeatus. We put the beat in Diabeatus!

Thank God I don’t have that yet, but I’m right around the corner if I don’t do something about it soon

Chaka Khan Wannabe Chunky Kong.

LIZ HOE

LEZ ZO

I like the lez one better 😂 I could’ve laughed at the whole one about 15 years ago

Your relationships been so rocky you done gone ahead and leased a U Haul.

We’ve been together 10 years, but this was hilarious

Look on the bright side in the end you will die childless and alone having never accomplished anything and fully wasted your short time on this planet.

Hopefully, I wasted my long time on this planet come on

I’ve heard your music. It’s good, but pretty niche. I recommend branching out from only writing songs about not knowing who your dad is and life on food stamps.

You already look like a roast chicken so

Ask your doctor if Ozempic is right for you. Spoiler alert. It is.

I’m actually terrified to take that drug I’m gonna try at the natural way but when I get rich and famous if I still haven’t lost the weight 🤔 I might give it a try

The only “natural” way that you’re going to get skinny is if your jaw was “naturally” wired shut

Those hips actually lie

Those hips can touch opposite walls

>I make music but people only click to see me jiggle my fat belly. They click X from the top right of the window.

So you identify as an egalitarian authoritarian ovarian barbarian lesbian thespian?

All of the above baby

[удалено]

Lol 36 Lesbian Songwriter? Where's the link to your OF

When she starts to sing her gf sits on her face and farts till she passes out.

Although I love the sound of farts, I hate the smell I would be so pissed

Is this the last resort you got to promote yourself

Thank you for being a lesbian and sparing us. May I suggest canceling youtube and starting an audio only podcast? You have a face meant for radio

Your YT channel: "Power within You" would make a great 3am cable access show for insomniacs and stoners.

Thank you so much I love that channel so much

Lizzo is your health couch

She’s actually losing weight so I will take her advice

You look like you have been arrested before for unwanted scissoring.

By 'lesbian' she means she sniffs bus seats after little girls have sat in them.

🐄

Cow 🐄

Arthur Franklin

[удалено]

There isn't a man on earth that would fantasize about converting you. Meanwhile, other lesbians are hoping you switch sides.

An lesbian With ...... NO GF MEDIOCORE MUSIC NO YT CAREER U really put the L in LGBTQ

You never need to cut those sharp nails, because they never gonna be inside anybody.

Hahaha not wrong

You sound like a train wreck. Hopefully you're single.

Start a cooking channel. Roasted fat and salt makes a good crackling.

Ay, stop beatin' on Precious godammit, ain't her fault yo man like that thicc pussy more!

Nah can't be bothered too easy

So far in life, parents must be proud.

I would assume you would cry everyday with that life and face anyway

Lesbo Lizzo

If Lizzo microdosed Ozempic.

Vagitarian, but not vegetarian.

You should release a true to life scent of yours for the YouTube fans called Athlete's Foot.

You're looking for a BBQ, not a roast.. 

Daughter: Mom, I want hot lesbian! No, honey, we have hot lesbian at home. The hot lesbian at home:

wow

Your apartment is right behind McDonalds, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut. It is literally that obvious.

Today was my birthday and I wished to God Never to hear you sing again and the wish came true...! Guess what my hearing is intact still ! ;P

I don't know where to start.

r/crappymusic

That weave got that temu shine to it. Keep on giggling, though a clown does more than a homeless person for a buck.

The look like a female maui from moana

Oh yeah, so I look like the rock that means I can whoop some ass

Thank you for not having a Homely Fans account linked to your profile

Damn, nasty ass toes.

Me and my home would give you a spittoast you little piggy

Poopi Goldberg.

Oh my God I just took one and it felt amazing

You look like you talk shit about your girlfriend behind her back

I don't know why ! But I was thinking to request a song written from you as prank

You look like the reason railings needed to be installed

Oh baby, there is no way that I would stay inside of the lanes. I’m very unhinged if that’s what you meant. 😂😂😂

I loved your dancing in Jabba’s palace.

Trying to cry enough to burn off the belly eh?

If only it were that easy 😂

Can’t roast you, you’re too big for the oven.

Sorry can’t roast someone so pretty And tell me ur YouTube I would love to check it out

💜💜💜💜💜💜 Porshia Vonne

If obama’s first daughter ate his second daughter.

You look like Lizzo

Y


That’s meeeee

Fupa loopa...

You saw it 😀

Aye fareal u kinda cute

Guys only fucking you up the ass doesn't count as being a lesbian.

[удалено]

 Pre weave minus the pickle

A male lesbian 🤔

Well Vroom Vroom see you at the pride parade babe🚘🚘💋💋

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All the necessary hints are there. You are destined to be utterly average.

By lesbian you mean relegated to women because you can't pull any men

Actualy kinda hot

Clear why men wouldn’t want you….

Good to see Diane Abbott has found a new career.

Something’s fishy here 🧐

Shouldn’t you be moving in with a girl you just started dating last week, starting a craft project you’ll never finish, or getting irrationally angry at a lowes employee asking if you need help with anything?

The lesbians called, they said they’re not accepting applications at this time.

Slightly less girthy, and much poorer queen latifa

I guess my question would be why are you jiggling your belly for people anyway?

Idk if you qualify to wear athletic shorts

This girl definitely eats pussy… and a turkey, and a pig, and a whole ass side of beef.

You're so fat your nickname is "DAMN"!

Your pronouns are "NICK" and "HER".

Lesbian; not by choice

I bet those flip flops have an inch of crust on them and you use a nickel to scrape it off every 6 months or people complain about the awful stench.

Me and my boy have some time tonight to roast you.

As a lesbian we do not claim her.

I feel sorry for the lebians knowing that one of thir options are you..

Great Value Lizzo