You can't diddle Diddy, Diddy is a diddler. If you diddled what Diddy diddled, when Diddy diddled what he did, you would diddle like Diddy diddled when he diddled what he did, its true...
But if you diddled like a diddler and your name wasn't Diddy, did you diddle like a Diddy, or did Diddy diddle like you ? π«³π€
Diddly diddle? You mean like a riddle. diddle diddys piddle, if you diddled diddy than you would be the ultimate diddler, unless diddy diddles you first, Then your just a diddler getting diddled by diddy why you are simultaneously diddling diddy.
Diddling diddy is a crime punishable by sex with meek mill.
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Guy ate the blue and red pills, a few yellows and a green, then one two many of The Oracle's cookies.... I would seriously consider a regimen of antipsychotics. And you'll feel right as rain.
βHeβs The Oneβ said the woman in the darkroom of a police line up.
Pro tip: donβt take any color pill from this guy.
This guy sold me fentanyl behind toys r us
Long walk across the stage to say you performed transactional fellatio
I got my tongue pierced just for it
Morpenus
π€£ππ€£π
Or any drinks πΊ
Don't tell me what to do
Heβll just slip it in your drink
Oh fuck off ππππ€£ππ€£ππ€£ππ€£ππ€£π
Hey J.P., how much do clothes cost in the Matrix?!
This one got me π
Keanu Ragged.
Keanu Diddy
This is the most creative subreddit ππ
Ooof.
πΆNow number five πΆ
Tell me why?
Lmfaooo
It's like someone cast P Diddy in the matrix. "The key to domestic violence is to realize women aren't real people."
Refers to every white woman with short hair as βTrinityβ
Ne-Yo
 Get the fuck out!
Bruhπππππππππ
I would take the blue pill just to avoid ever seeing you again.
I'd consent to an unnecessary surgery to avoid this
Sounds like a *necessary* surgery to me
Keanu Thieves
Kunta Kinte Reaves
Toby Reaves
What'd you just say? ππππππ Now these are good roasts manππ€£π€£π€£π€£
No- itβs *Morfreekus*.
At least youβd be able to make the jump the first time around
Underrated.
π
I think the goods he looted from walgreens would weigh him down
Wesley Wipes
Wesley Yikes
I was thinking Rockn Roll McDonald's, personally.
Wesley doesn't wipe
Starring in Gay Blade can't find serum and has to go back to drinking cum.
I canβt be the only one that thinks he looks like P Diddy
He look like P Diddy did, not how P Diddy does Did he Diddy himself? Or did Diddy do it to him? I did not know. Either way, this guy fucks dudes
How are you sure he actually did diddly diddy do though?
You can't diddle Diddy, Diddy is a diddler. If you diddled what Diddy diddled, when Diddy diddled what he did, you would diddle like Diddy diddled when he diddled what he did, its true... But if you diddled like a diddler and your name wasn't Diddy, did you diddle like a Diddy, or did Diddy diddle like you ? π«³π€
Diddly diddle? You mean like a riddle. diddle diddys piddle, if you diddled diddy than you would be the ultimate diddler, unless diddy diddles you first, Then your just a diddler getting diddled by diddy why you are simultaneously diddling diddy. Diddling diddy is a crime punishable by sex with meek mill.
P Snipes
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
"Moreorlessphius"
More-darkius
More syphilis
Bro I thought this was Diddy. But itβs just his brother Doody
You chose all the pills in the pill cabinet
He sold all the pills in the pill cabinet.
He sold fakes of all the pills in the pills cabinet
He stole all the pills in the pill cabinet.
And the pharmacy.
You look more like a bad Vegas street magician.
And every trip into the matrix starts with a healthy breakfast of Honey Nut Cheerios...
You are the glitch in the Matrix
Mom says quit fooling around and take out the garbage and put a job application in at McDonaldβs today.
Naaa your the 3rd version of Morpheus, the watered down wish version.
Morpheus's gay nephew Orifice.
This one got me.
Like a gay Nigerian porn film
Sure it's not temu now?
The Matrix is laughing its ass off right now, telling it's friends to come look at this
It's significantly less cool or intimidating when you're posing in mommy's kitchen.
Barpheus
Blade the Gay Walker
You look like YOU "are the captain now"
The matrix said you are the next janitor of the local elementary school near your home.
But what about the reatraining order the school has against him?
Still got a little dooky on your pointer finger from when it poked through the TP homie.
Why would I roast you, you aint did nuffin.
Yeah buddy this aint gonna work on the cops youβre trying to run from
The matrix 5: The fried chicken chronicles
More like a stud Wesley snipes in a porn about gay vampires
Wesley pipes twilight edition
This made me let out a tiny chuckle out loud lol
Lmfao
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Who's gonna tell him
βWhat are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge child support?β
Guy took the red hot cheetos pill
I'm sure no white cops find you suspicious looking at all.
Yo, mom said put some pants on and take out the trash
You look more like P Diddy minus the everything 
Keanu Weave
Kea-Nope
You look like a low-budget ass Wesley Snipes.
Wesley HalfedPrices
Black Friday's Wesley which was already 50% off a week before.
I'd sell you out to the machines just to get plugged back in...
Mr Andersonβ¦order out table 7 stop posing
My man, Poor-pheus
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What do you say when you see a note card floating at night?
You look like Morpheous where instead of fighting the Matrix he's fighting an uneven Hairline.
Blade the vampire gunther
Not everything Kanye says is true man. This isn't a simulation.
Keanu doesnβt look like heβs ready to go knock off the clerk at youβre local 7eleven
Pay for taxes
Keanu reaves with key & peele
You look like Wesley Snipes on that Barry Bonds shit. Donβt worry, Barryβs head shrunk when he stopped using so yours probably will too. ππΏ
These, and other voices brought to you by: Schizophrenia. Please seek professional assistance.
Looks more like butter knife than blade
Whorepheus.
You look like your trying to be a rough Ryder in that jacket but the only thing you ride is the city bus
Dollar General Puff Daddy cosplaying The Matrix
Keanu Peeves
Yeah, you chose the wrong colour pill.
Make A Wish Morpheus
The creators of the Matrix both cut off their wangs, and somehow you are even fruitier
Keanu disbelieves
Guy ate the blue and red pills, a few yellows and a green, then one two many of The Oracle's cookies.... I would seriously consider a regimen of antipsychotics. And you'll feel right as rain. 
Nu please stop.
You are sooo White
You look like a random sticker you'd find in a subway
The Matrix lied. You are more of a over melatonined Mr Spock
You look like you laugh radiculously loud and obnoxious before your Caucasian boss even finishes the joke π«₯
You mean 42
Disney remake of Blade.
Blades nephew thatβs addicted to anime, Spork
The woman in the red dress just clutched her pepper spray.
You look like a budget Morphius, the one you throw off the roof just because ....
Ummmmm NOT 
They lied!
Is this the alternative version of the Matrix where Neo just pushes Mescaline and there is no Spoon because Trinity just bent it to shoot H?
It's gonna be OK man...
Agent Smith is definitely going to win this time.
There is approximately 2 non race related roasts here.
Did the voices in your head also tell you you're white?
Dude.. you took the wrong pills. π
You look like you're in love with the coco
It's more like the next blackanese
Disney: This guys onto something.
Definitely playing dress up at your parents in this flick. This is what too much playtime looks like.
More like broke-Morpheus
Looks more like a fake ass "Blade" cosplay. Wrong movie OP lol
Clearly disney reached out to him
Yee yee ass haircut Franklin edgy edition.
You look like agent J from Men in Black.
Your mom has a nice kitchen.
P. DIDDY Jr
At least youβll be able to out run an agent
The Matrix lied.
Nestle Snipes
More like a synth from Fallout 4... get back to work, unit zb-19
Also stop letting your fingers get gnawed on by weevils. You know what, you're a defective unit.. disassemble it and make it better
I didn't know black guys could have a bowl haircut. With that in mind you're closer to Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber.
Make sure you eat a bowl of that Honey Nut Cheerios as part of a complete breakfast before you hack the mainframe or whatever you nerds do.
Ketamine trips aren't the universe talking to you... Do your chores
Dude! The Matrix pranked you.
Walmart Morpheus
Dime store Diddy
If Diddy was in the matrix would that old lady be replaced by meek mill
dirty ditty
Temu version of Blade is more like it.
What are you waiting for? ....... that ice won't smoke itself!!
Auditions for Blade
Bro, you ain't even the next Lawrence Fishburne.
Dorpheus
Wishly Snipes.
You have to wonder what the jacket and sunglasses are hiding....
This guy didnβt give you a choice, he slipped the red pill in your drink at the bar
Keanope Dweeb
Wee p diddy
Netflix adaption Neo.
You look like that bell hop/hotel manager form Suite Life of Zack & Cody 
"Avatar the last Airbender" Ahh pic
X6-88
Yes, that was the '99, you're 25 years late
May Trixx Massage parlor say "you da one, you numbah one long time"
You swallowed something, but it wasn't red or blue pills.
If Neo and Morpheus made a butt baby.
P-Doody