Hi. So sorry to hear about what you're going through. I know it's not a solution, but there's a very interesting book called In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté (also available as an audiobook). He's a physician who worked with addicts for many years and it gives a lot of really helpful insights into the role of childhood, behaviour, genetics and other factors that influence addiction. It doesn't solve your problem but it might help to give some strategies and explain why addicts do certain things (and why it's so difficult for them to stop). You could try reaching out to Solid Minds, which is a counselling centre who have specialists in addiction, but they're not that affordable. I think GAERG also offer counselling groups. They are an organisation for survivors but even if he is not, they will have contacts that might be able to help. I'm really sorry, there's no easy answer, but set your own boundaries and keep trying. Really, that book is very enlightening.
A solution could be to find him another rehab center. While he may improve after his stint in rehab, for most people it is often temporary, as loneliness after rehab leads them back to their previous circle of friends who use. To support long-term, help him integrate into a community where he feels a sense of belonging and shares common interests, whether it's a church, a book club, or a sports group. Additionally, therapy can provide him with tools to manage his urges and maintain his sobriety.
He didn't finish his stay at the rehab center , he was caught with drugs there and was kicked out , it was really expensive and I don't think anyone at home is going to spend money again on the rehab front , after prison we enrolled him in a coffee making training and he seemed to flourish and motivated but that also didn't last long it was heart breaking bcs he was so good at it to the point he was training new students.
I understand. Sorry you had to go through that. There are government sponsored rehabs, but they can be a bit extreme. Good thing there is something at which he excels, The best option would be therapy in this case but it all starts with his will to do the work. If he’s not willing to change, there won’t be much you can do except the extreme.
If you have the capability too. Try moving him to another country into the countryside
Harder to find drugs there, and may help him reset.
I'm so sorry you and your family, as well as him, are going through this.
Ultimately though, only he wanting it will lead to him truly trying to be sober
I’ve moved to a different continent to get clean and was good for awhile but started using again eventually. You can find cocaine and heroin pretty much everywhere. If you want to stop using you need to sort your inside issues out.
The heartbreaking reality is the only option is to accept him as he is or cut him off if he’s doing too much to the family. Only he can decide to stop using.
Honestly, this has been the most physically sickening and emotionally draining journey of our entire lives.
Sending him to the countryside, that's what we in 2022 and when he came back he was caught by the police with drugs and went to prison for a year ,at this point no one knows what to do anymore.
Never underestimate the ability for a drug user to find their supply, even in the most remote of areas. If there is only one source of the substance in the whole countryside, you can be assured that it's only a matter of time before the drug user finds it.
That's just how the brain is supposed to work, but in the case of the drug user, the brain has been wired to seek destructive substances when in successful people, the brain has been wired for the most part to seek constructive substances
So in my opinion, using is always a sign for a deeper reason, it’s only a sign of someone who’s trying to escape something, that’s where you have to begin,, there’s rehabs that take insurance like icyizere and get him a doctor both to talk to like psychologist and a psychiatrist for meds, i also have friends who went to rehab in huye and community integration is still a challenge, im a mental health activist and im currently working with them to set up a recovery support group but if you reach out i can give you contacts to one of them for peer support you know!!! But there’s a lot of hope,, the system is still compromised but it’s getting better.. and you have to also think about educating yourself and your family how to help him, sometimes families makes things worse, however hard it is, it’s possible that he could have a good future if he gets the right help
He was at Isange Rehabilitation Center in Huye, and they have a zero tolerance policy once they test you and the results shows you have used drugs during your Rehabilitation stay with them, so basically that's what happened.
It would be immensely helpful if I could find a professional to talk to him and help him fight the urge to immerse himself in drugs again.
Even though I am at a breaking point, I have to be strong for him and my family ,I can not afford to lose hope , the rest of my family are in shambles, and I understand them this is a battle we have been fighting for 10 years.
I think part of rehab is helping the user quit drugs and that is done by getting them used to smaller and smaller amounts of the drug until they no longer need it. Relapses happen, and the rehab should help them through it instead of just kicking them out. May be find Him a better rehab center?
Give him purpose. Something to make him wake up in the morning focused on achieving a measurable goal. That'd help.
Gusa nukwihangan Kandi mugasenga Imana
Hi. So sorry to hear about what you're going through. I know it's not a solution, but there's a very interesting book called In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté (also available as an audiobook). He's a physician who worked with addicts for many years and it gives a lot of really helpful insights into the role of childhood, behaviour, genetics and other factors that influence addiction. It doesn't solve your problem but it might help to give some strategies and explain why addicts do certain things (and why it's so difficult for them to stop). You could try reaching out to Solid Minds, which is a counselling centre who have specialists in addiction, but they're not that affordable. I think GAERG also offer counselling groups. They are an organisation for survivors but even if he is not, they will have contacts that might be able to help. I'm really sorry, there's no easy answer, but set your own boundaries and keep trying. Really, that book is very enlightening.
Sha nabankubeshye kbx
A solution could be to find him another rehab center. While he may improve after his stint in rehab, for most people it is often temporary, as loneliness after rehab leads them back to their previous circle of friends who use. To support long-term, help him integrate into a community where he feels a sense of belonging and shares common interests, whether it's a church, a book club, or a sports group. Additionally, therapy can provide him with tools to manage his urges and maintain his sobriety.
He didn't finish his stay at the rehab center , he was caught with drugs there and was kicked out , it was really expensive and I don't think anyone at home is going to spend money again on the rehab front , after prison we enrolled him in a coffee making training and he seemed to flourish and motivated but that also didn't last long it was heart breaking bcs he was so good at it to the point he was training new students.
I understand. Sorry you had to go through that. There are government sponsored rehabs, but they can be a bit extreme. Good thing there is something at which he excels, The best option would be therapy in this case but it all starts with his will to do the work. If he’s not willing to change, there won’t be much you can do except the extreme.
If you have the capability too. Try moving him to another country into the countryside Harder to find drugs there, and may help him reset. I'm so sorry you and your family, as well as him, are going through this. Ultimately though, only he wanting it will lead to him truly trying to be sober
I’ve moved to a different continent to get clean and was good for awhile but started using again eventually. You can find cocaine and heroin pretty much everywhere. If you want to stop using you need to sort your inside issues out. The heartbreaking reality is the only option is to accept him as he is or cut him off if he’s doing too much to the family. Only he can decide to stop using.
Honestly, this has been the most physically sickening and emotionally draining journey of our entire lives. Sending him to the countryside, that's what we in 2022 and when he came back he was caught by the police with drugs and went to prison for a year ,at this point no one knows what to do anymore.
Never underestimate the ability for a drug user to find their supply, even in the most remote of areas. If there is only one source of the substance in the whole countryside, you can be assured that it's only a matter of time before the drug user finds it. That's just how the brain is supposed to work, but in the case of the drug user, the brain has been wired to seek destructive substances when in successful people, the brain has been wired for the most part to seek constructive substances
So in my opinion, using is always a sign for a deeper reason, it’s only a sign of someone who’s trying to escape something, that’s where you have to begin,, there’s rehabs that take insurance like icyizere and get him a doctor both to talk to like psychologist and a psychiatrist for meds, i also have friends who went to rehab in huye and community integration is still a challenge, im a mental health activist and im currently working with them to set up a recovery support group but if you reach out i can give you contacts to one of them for peer support you know!!! But there’s a lot of hope,, the system is still compromised but it’s getting better.. and you have to also think about educating yourself and your family how to help him, sometimes families makes things worse, however hard it is, it’s possible that he could have a good future if he gets the right help
He was at Isange Rehabilitation Center in Huye, and they have a zero tolerance policy once they test you and the results shows you have used drugs during your Rehabilitation stay with them, so basically that's what happened. It would be immensely helpful if I could find a professional to talk to him and help him fight the urge to immerse himself in drugs again. Even though I am at a breaking point, I have to be strong for him and my family ,I can not afford to lose hope , the rest of my family are in shambles, and I understand them this is a battle we have been fighting for 10 years.
I think part of rehab is helping the user quit drugs and that is done by getting them used to smaller and smaller amounts of the drug until they no longer need it. Relapses happen, and the rehab should help them through it instead of just kicking them out. May be find Him a better rehab center?
I work since a lot of years with addicts in Kigali professionally, also a recovering addict myself. You wanna get more help, just DM me!
Only God