It happened in real life— my late husband was driving, we were coming back home…. Suddenly, we heard the siren and pulled over. The cop said to my husband: “I had to speed to 70 because you were driving to fast “( in a 1977 Toyota corona) —- my husband said: “you had to speed to get me, because you were parked on the shoulder when you saw me”…. Cop said: go— no ticket
A state trooper pulled me over on the interstate and asked me if I knew how fast I was going. I said "gotta be near a hundred."
"Yup, 97." (in a 70)
When he came back with my license and info he had written me up for going 75 in a 70, told me he appreciated the honesty.
I got pulled over on my motorcycle years ago. The cop asked "do you have any idea how fast your were going?'
Being the smart ass I still am, I replied:
"no sir, my speedometer only goes to 85"
He just cracks up laughing walking back to his car. He still gave me a warning, but that was better than a ticket.
A cop said to me "you were going closer to 100 than to the speed limit". Limit was 75. I'm thinking "So? What's that have to do with anything?" Is that supposed to scare me? Dude, I've done 122 on a motorcycle. Now that's scary as fuck, especially when the front starts to shimmy.
I had a buddy that got a new sporty car a couple years ago. He was driving at night on a rural highway and wanted to see how it performed. He was speeding along and saw the police lights I a ways back and figured it was for him, since he was the only one on the road. He said when the cop finally came to his window, he said "I'm gonna cut you a break because you pulled over. I had you a 108, and most everytime I radar someone going over 100, they nearly always run when I try and pull them over. I'm gonna write you up for 80 in a 65, and the ticket will be about $300, does that sound fair?" My buddy knew that he could arrest him and tow his car and all that for doing about 50 over the limit, just shakes his head yes and takes his ticket.
I had a best friend who lived in a rural part of the state and drove a iroc z commaro while I lived in the small city. His house and family was on farm. Well one day we're driving to his place with him driving. We get inside and pop in a movie on VHS and crack a few beers. Fifteen minutes later we get hear a loud knock and it's the police... Saying they are writing him a ticket for speeding after they confirmed he's the driver.
He asks where they were twenty minutes ago while the police responded they had to catch up.
I love the line in Adam Sandler’s longest yard at the start. Gets pulled over, hands the cop his beer so he can “pull over more”, reverses into the cop car, says “you can have that one, I got 5 more” and takes off.
Only entertaining part of that movie.
Agreed! My son is 11 and it’s definitely time to introduce Adam Sandler. I also have to tell him certain things will 100% land him in the principal’s office but knowing the difference and learning to read the room isn’t taught in middle school so it’s a important life lessons. So I’ll be on the sofa with a THC seltzer this summer, walking my son through the misogyny, the happily immature and the truly funny. It’s gonna be fun.
Once a cop pulled me over and I had an open beer in the cup holder. He told me if I poured it out he wouldn’t give me a ticket. I poured it out the window and right on his shoes.
I didn’t do it intentionally, but I realized afterward he meant for me to do it way more discreetly.
I felt bad because he was trying to be cool and I dumped a beer on him.
Fluffy had a box of donuts in the car.
After he pulled over, before the cop came up to his car, he opened the box and started eating a donut.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
GI: b/c you could smell them!
*gestures to donuts*
Cop: *dies laughing*
No ticket.
“There was no victim, therefore no crime was committed.”
“I am not using my conveyance for commercial purposes, therefore I am not driving, and do not need a driver’s license. Now let me continue on my way to work.”
Years ago, a friend who worked at a car dealership asked if I wanted to pick up some hours as a "driver." I was like, "Sure, I could use a few extra bucks." Turns out driver is code for "repo man." I ended up cruising a super shady neighborhood looking for a car, got lost, rolled up behind a police car to ask for directions. The cop saw me walking up behind his car, and jumped out. Because I'm a stupid kid from the suburbs, I didn't read the room, and decided to scratch my back as I approached him. And that's how I got a gun pulled on me.
That was my first and last repo.
True story. My father once managed a bar, and a customer who looked old enough ordered a beer. He was sited for underage sale. He got on the phone and had the officers sited for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
I must admit...wasted or not I have talked some *shit* to cops... Only had my ass kicked a couple times.....should have been shot dead by now. I am a big bald white dude, blue eyes and beard. They seem to make assumptions about me.
See, that's the difference. Black people get shot or choked out until they're dead. White people get the shit kicked out of em. That's a very striking and key difference.
Regardless, police brutality is wrong on all accounts and should be punished. I'm sorry that's happened to you. But also it sounds like you're aware of the solution ya belligerent nutbag xD
Edit: spelling
I was behind a pickup truck with a sticker: "I only get pulled over by gay cops."
The solution is probably to pull them over and let them know we were waiting for a particular officer to write the ticket, but he was on the other side of the county, so it would be a little while.
I always think of a clip from "The Sarah Silverman Program". The cop asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?". She replies, "Because you got Cs in highschool?" 😂
(Cop sighs)…
“Sir, by the fact that you’re trying to outrun me while in park, I’ll take that to mean you’ve got some issues that need to be addressed. Please step out of the vehicle, after you’ve turned it off and put the keys on the dash. Thank you.
I got pulled over the other day and as soon as the cop came to my window I said very loudly, "AS A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN I HAVE A RIGHT TO TRAVEL AND I AM NOT REQUIRED TO SHOW YOU ANY IDENTIFICATION... Just kidding, sir. If it's okay with you, I'll reach across the car to my glove compartment and get my registration and proof of insurance, and then I'm going to have to reach into my jacket and get my license."
He laughed, told me to slow down, and sent me on my way. I think we both enjoyed ourselves.
Was looking for the sovereign citizen. Can't believe you got to do that irl.
Now I'm gonna have to try and remember my alternate joke to post. Wasn't as good as this though.
"You're wrong officer, I'm not drunk!"
But like, super slurred, when you just rolled the window down and the cop hasn't even spoken yet
Well, it didn't work for my Dad anyway
-=Spoiler alert=- he was NOT pulled over for suspected DUI....
A guy gets pulled over for speeding and the officer asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The man says, "did someone report their stolen car with my dead wife in the trunk?"
The officer takes a moment and calls backup.
The officer then asks if there's firearms in the car. The guy says, "a glock in the glove compartment and a Desert Eagle in the centre console".
The officer tells the man to sit still and to wait until backup arrives.
Backup arrives, and the guy is ordered out of the vehicle. A search commences and turns out that there are no guns, no dead body, and the car is registered to our man.
The sergeant that took over from the traffic cop then goes over the story, "My officer says there was a dead body in the trunk, unregistered firearms in the vehicle and it was stolen".
To which our guy says, "I bet you he told you I was speeding, too"...
"Would you hold my beer and Glock for me while I pull out my license and registration information? Thanks."
\*I used to work with local law enforcement. One did something similar to a rookie state trooper. State police patrol areas where there is no local police force. Trooper and his rookie pulled in to check on an occupied vehicle that was parked in the lot at a boat access ramp. Trooper had run the registration and recognized the local officer's name. Had his rookie check out the occupant of the vehicle. The local had his hands in plain view on the wheel, rookie asked for his license. He told rookie he would but first he wanted to make rookie aware of a loaded 9mm in the driver's door pocket. Rookie dropped a load in his shorts at this one. Trooper was laughing his arse off. Here, off duty law enforcement has the authority for concealed carry at any time, and most do. In this part of the county, the locals and state police work very well together - the same troopers patrol the area, so they know the locals, and vice-versa. All the ones I knew - local and state - have retired by now.
"Aren't you sharp as a tack?
You some type of lawyer or something?
Somebody important or something?"
Well, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
Real life experience here: Cop walks up to my car and says do you know why I pulled you over? In my best Sling Blade Carl Chandlers voice I say. Mmmhmmm I reckon mmhh I was driving funny yep haven’t got much experience cept when they let me drive at the institute.mmmhhh.
NEVER… answer a police officers questions of any kind!!!
Give them the paper work they request and shut the phuck up! They are actually conducting an interrogation/investigation of you. You have the right to remain SILENT, any and ALL things you say CAN & WILL be used against you in a court of law!!!
You have no legal obligation to assist them with their investigation. Just hand them the documents they requested and when they start their interrogation… just say I don’t answer questions. If they continue asking you questions just say I won’t answer your questions without consulting my lawyer first.
If they’ve got the evidence on you… anything you say just confirms their charge against you. If their evidence is non existent or very weak your admission of guilt makes their case ironclad.
Be kind, considerate and respectful and NEVER implicate yourself in a crime!!!
I was pulled over one time because I had cut the cop off as I was making a left turn at the top of a blind hill. The officer approached me and asked, " Do you have any guns, knives, swords or grenade launches on you this evening?" I was laughing a bit at the grenade launcher quip and responded, "No sir, not this evening." He took that as cause that I normally do carry those, so he said he was gonna search the car. I didn't have anything illegal so whatever... but I was obviously joking around with the officer as he seemed like he was joking around too.
You’ll need backup.
Why were we BOTH speeding?
You weren’t the one I wanted.
I always drive like this and it’s never been an issue, what’s your problem?
Why are you so obsessed with me?
Did you bring the drugs?
Where are the rest of the village people?
Bonus points if they ask where you’re going and you say, “To the Y-M-C-A” while doing the hand gestures
Only if you are doing a field sobriety check...
Ok, this one killed me
It might if your black.
I’m so using this
Do you have any idea how fast you were going to catch me? That's super dangerous. You should slow down.
It happened in real life— my late husband was driving, we were coming back home…. Suddenly, we heard the siren and pulled over. The cop said to my husband: “I had to speed to 70 because you were driving to fast “( in a 1977 Toyota corona) —- my husband said: “you had to speed to get me, because you were parked on the shoulder when you saw me”…. Cop said: go— no ticket
A state trooper pulled me over on the interstate and asked me if I knew how fast I was going. I said "gotta be near a hundred." "Yup, 97." (in a 70) When he came back with my license and info he had written me up for going 75 in a 70, told me he appreciated the honesty.
I got pulled over on my motorcycle years ago. The cop asked "do you have any idea how fast your were going?' Being the smart ass I still am, I replied: "no sir, my speedometer only goes to 85" He just cracks up laughing walking back to his car. He still gave me a warning, but that was better than a ticket.
A cop said to me "you were going closer to 100 than to the speed limit". Limit was 75. I'm thinking "So? What's that have to do with anything?" Is that supposed to scare me? Dude, I've done 122 on a motorcycle. Now that's scary as fuck, especially when the front starts to shimmy.
I know people who have done over 200 and they said they literally couldn't see anymore
I had a buddy that got a new sporty car a couple years ago. He was driving at night on a rural highway and wanted to see how it performed. He was speeding along and saw the police lights I a ways back and figured it was for him, since he was the only one on the road. He said when the cop finally came to his window, he said "I'm gonna cut you a break because you pulled over. I had you a 108, and most everytime I radar someone going over 100, they nearly always run when I try and pull them over. I'm gonna write you up for 80 in a 65, and the ticket will be about $300, does that sound fair?" My buddy knew that he could arrest him and tow his car and all that for doing about 50 over the limit, just shakes his head yes and takes his ticket.
I was just trying to keep up with the flow of traffic! Yes I realize they are no other cars around; that's how far behind I was!
Car accidents are the main way cops die on duty
#Fact
I had a best friend who lived in a rural part of the state and drove a iroc z commaro while I lived in the small city. His house and family was on farm. Well one day we're driving to his place with him driving. We get inside and pop in a movie on VHS and crack a few beers. Fifteen minutes later we get hear a loud knock and it's the police... Saying they are writing him a ticket for speeding after they confirmed he's the driver. He asks where they were twenty minutes ago while the police responded they had to catch up.
Hold my beer
I love the line in Adam Sandler’s longest yard at the start. Gets pulled over, hands the cop his beer so he can “pull over more”, reverses into the cop car, says “you can have that one, I got 5 more” and takes off. Only entertaining part of that movie.
I politely disagree!! Great movie!! Was just thinking about cheeseburger eddie the other day lol
I think I made him shit himself!
"I got the Fries that'll melt your eyes, I got the burgers that'll... I just got burgers!"
Brucie was hilarious.
Or the big guy "can of corn, can of corn and I'll be fine!"
“You assholes betta not cut me! I need a diet coke.”
He was all state, or Penn state Penn lol
Jesus Anthony sit down!
Fair but I stopped being entertained by Adam sandler as I got older so 🤷♂️
You let the old man in. Never, ever, let the old man in.
Agreed! My son is 11 and it’s definitely time to introduce Adam Sandler. I also have to tell him certain things will 100% land him in the principal’s office but knowing the difference and learning to read the room isn’t taught in middle school so it’s a important life lessons. So I’ll be on the sofa with a THC seltzer this summer, walking my son through the misogyny, the happily immature and the truly funny. It’s gonna be fun.
I let the old man once and now I’m in therapy.
I misread that as Adam Savage and was trying to picture it
Literally the only thing I remember about that entire movie lol
Once a cop pulled me over and I had an open beer in the cup holder. He told me if I poured it out he wouldn’t give me a ticket. I poured it out the window and right on his shoes. I didn’t do it intentionally, but I realized afterward he meant for me to do it way more discreetly. I felt bad because he was trying to be cool and I dumped a beer on him.
"You smelled the trunk huh?"
"Don't bother searching. There ain't shit in the trunk."
Only a body, I made sure he shit himself before I killed him
Cop: I pulled you over for driving alone in the carpool lane. Me: You’re going to feel pretty foolish when you look in the trunk!
Oh my gosh! When did they start letting "your people" become police officers?
It sounds racist until you realize "your people" are three kids in a police uniform.
Omg, no!
“Sir do you know why I pulled you over?” “Cause I’m black yeah what up playa” - Gabriel Iglesias
I knew Fluffy would be here bc it's the first thing I thought of
in a similar vein Because you could smell it!
Fluffy had a box of donuts in the car. After he pulled over, before the cop came up to his car, he opened the box and started eating a donut. Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? GI: b/c you could smell them! *gestures to donuts* Cop: *dies laughing* No ticket.
Because I’m young and I’m black and my hat’s real low? Do I look like a mind reader? I don’t know. Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?
"I have the right to travel." Usually winds up being a Safelite commercial.
"I do not consent! I do not consent!" \* Crash \*
Lol, those are the fun videos to watch.
“There was no victim, therefore no crime was committed.” “I am not using my conveyance for commercial purposes, therefore I am not driving, and do not need a driver’s license. Now let me continue on my way to work.”
Yeah let me know how that works out for ya, Chuckles.
I am now traveling in a car with bars on the windows.
“Great lets snort this together!”
Internal Monologue : “I should reach for my wallet super fast so I don’t waste the officers precious time”
"He's so busy. I'll just get out of my car and run it over to him!"
"I should hold my gun while I do that so that he knows I have it!"
Years ago, a friend who worked at a car dealership asked if I wanted to pick up some hours as a "driver." I was like, "Sure, I could use a few extra bucks." Turns out driver is code for "repo man." I ended up cruising a super shady neighborhood looking for a car, got lost, rolled up behind a police car to ask for directions. The cop saw me walking up behind his car, and jumped out. Because I'm a stupid kid from the suburbs, I didn't read the room, and decided to scratch my back as I approached him. And that's how I got a gun pulled on me. That was my first and last repo.
“I knew I smelt bacon”
I definitely smell a pork product of some type.
"I smell bacon, I smell pork. Look out piggy, I've got a fork.!"
"It's unfair that I can't write you a ticket back. I saw how fast you were driving to catch me. That, good sir, was wreckless."
\*reckless
You would think, but somehow they didn't wreck their car, so it wasn't that reckless.
Reckless wreckless driver
True story. My father once managed a bar, and a customer who looked old enough ordered a beer. He was sited for underage sale. He got on the phone and had the officers sited for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
What up pig?
“‘sup dog?”
I knew I smelled updog
Or was it *uphog*?
Sooooeeeee, sooooeeee. Oh hey, you're here!
"Thank god it's you I thought it was going to be one of those real cops that actually catches criminals!"
Want to see how fast I can draw my gun? Want to see it again?
Behave as though this is a Dunkin Donuts drive through. Order a dozen donuts.
Sir this is a Wendy's
"It was me. I did it. I'm the guilty party. Lock me up and throw away the key."
"Do you know why I pulled you over?" "I am not a mind reader, Mister! Now get back in that car and think about what you did!"
another answer "because the military wouldn't take you?"
Ah....love the smell of bacon. How's Officer Oink Oink today? *pulls out middle finger instead of license, big smile*
That killed me
No, it got him killed
Only if he was black
Seems nothing be said or done if you're black.
I must admit...wasted or not I have talked some *shit* to cops... Only had my ass kicked a couple times.....should have been shot dead by now. I am a big bald white dude, blue eyes and beard. They seem to make assumptions about me.
See, that's the difference. Black people get shot or choked out until they're dead. White people get the shit kicked out of em. That's a very striking and key difference. Regardless, police brutality is wrong on all accounts and should be punished. I'm sorry that's happened to you. But also it sounds like you're aware of the solution ya belligerent nutbag xD Edit: spelling
Cops who suck say what??
I was behind a pickup truck with a sticker: "I only get pulled over by gay cops." The solution is probably to pull them over and let them know we were waiting for a particular officer to write the ticket, but he was on the other side of the county, so it would be a little while.
“I thought about becoming a cop too but finished high school instead.”
Bad cop, no donut
"What seems to be the officer, problem?"
I always think of a clip from "The Sarah Silverman Program". The cop asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?". She replies, "Because you got Cs in highschool?" 😂
Can you give me a second? I need to finish my beer!
Wanna hit off my bong?
"I saw you drinking a beer a block ago, so I pulled you over... To ask if you have another one."
Damn I didn’t think police cruisers could hit 190mph
"I'm fast as fuck boooiiiiiii" *slams the accelerated and races off at ridiculous speed*
Cop overtakes you using ludicrous speed.
You can outrun him if you go to plaid!
Grab the Smuckers and jam his radar!
(Cop sighs)… “Sir, by the fact that you’re trying to outrun me while in park, I’ll take that to mean you’ve got some issues that need to be addressed. Please step out of the vehicle, after you’ve turned it off and put the keys on the dash. Thank you.
"Jokes on you! My handbrake is broken, so no park for me! .... Although, I may need some help with stopp...."
“I’m too old for this shit…”
Where would you like me to blow?
"Could you hold my beer while I grab my ID?"
“Ugh, *please* don’t search the car. I *just* got out last week!”
Sorry was my trunk screaming again?
I got pulled over the other day and as soon as the cop came to my window I said very loudly, "AS A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN I HAVE A RIGHT TO TRAVEL AND I AM NOT REQUIRED TO SHOW YOU ANY IDENTIFICATION... Just kidding, sir. If it's okay with you, I'll reach across the car to my glove compartment and get my registration and proof of insurance, and then I'm going to have to reach into my jacket and get my license." He laughed, told me to slow down, and sent me on my way. I think we both enjoyed ourselves.
Was looking for the sovereign citizen. Can't believe you got to do that irl. Now I'm gonna have to try and remember my alternate joke to post. Wasn't as good as this though.
I am NOT a citizen. I do NOT recognize your authority. You have NO POWER over me as a sovereign inhabitant of this country.
There's no cunts on me drugstable
I think it was Rodney Rude or Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson that said ‘I haven’t had a cunt all night drinkstable’
"It's high noon officer"
Cop: alright, where's the fire? Me: in your eyes, officer
Are you interested in a product demonstration? The cocaine is 95% pure with no fentanyl added.
If you don't remember why you pulled me over, I certainly am not going to give you any suggestions.
"Do you know why you stopped me?"
"Oh man, did my friends put you up to this? Take that shirt off and dance, sexy!"
That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
In best "Shrek" voice!
I was drunk in a bar. They threw me into public!
“I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability.” Love Ron White
"Was it my swerving? Yeah, sorry I was opening my last Busch Lite."
My taxes pay your salary mister!!
There's an old George Carlin bit about this. "Say...aren't you a public servant? Get me a glass of water!"
I’ll have 2 cheeseburgers, no pickles and a coke. NO PICKLES!!
“It’s great that they are letting people on the spectrum be cops now!”
Good evening ossifur. I'm not as think as you drunk I am
I’m not driving, I’m traveling
You could see me smoking crack from that far away? Your eyesight is incredible!
“The cocaine is in my wife’s ass.“
You look like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
"That uniform makes you look fat!"
“Is it true that all cops have ligma?”
Cop “how high are you?” Me “No officer, it’s ’Hi how are you?’”
"You're wrong officer, I'm not drunk!" But like, super slurred, when you just rolled the window down and the cop hasn't even spoken yet Well, it didn't work for my Dad anyway -=Spoiler alert=- he was NOT pulled over for suspected DUI....
I’m not THAT drunk, am I?
Sorry, I don’t have any donuts
Want some cack?
Don’t worry. I’m Canadian!
*bang*
“Max hide the weed!”
“You’ll never catch me alive!”
"You want a donut?"
"Want to hit this?"
*Points to wife in the passenger seat*
She's also holding the bowl.
Cop: you know how fast you were going? Me: somewhere between 0 and weeeeeeeee!
I'm Wayne Brady bitch.
A guy gets pulled over for speeding and the officer asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" The man says, "did someone report their stolen car with my dead wife in the trunk?" The officer takes a moment and calls backup. The officer then asks if there's firearms in the car. The guy says, "a glock in the glove compartment and a Desert Eagle in the centre console". The officer tells the man to sit still and to wait until backup arrives. Backup arrives, and the guy is ordered out of the vehicle. A search commences and turns out that there are no guns, no dead body, and the car is registered to our man. The sergeant that took over from the traffic cop then goes over the story, "My officer says there was a dead body in the trunk, unregistered firearms in the vehicle and it was stolen". To which our guy says, "I bet you he told you I was speeding, too"...
Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?
Nothing to see here ocifer.
"Do you want me to look into your eyes as I put it in my mouth?"
Trying for that quota eh officer?
ACAB!
Do you know why you pulled me over?
"I was speeding because a dead body has been in my trunk for 4 days."
“Sorry officer, I tend to drive fast after a few drinks, I’ll watch my speed”
"I'm surprised you were able to catch me"
Please don’t look in my trunk. There’s nothing suspicious there at all.
"Would you hold my beer and Glock for me while I pull out my license and registration information? Thanks." \*I used to work with local law enforcement. One did something similar to a rookie state trooper. State police patrol areas where there is no local police force. Trooper and his rookie pulled in to check on an occupied vehicle that was parked in the lot at a boat access ramp. Trooper had run the registration and recognized the local officer's name. Had his rookie check out the occupant of the vehicle. The local had his hands in plain view on the wheel, rookie asked for his license. He told rookie he would but first he wanted to make rookie aware of a loaded 9mm in the driver's door pocket. Rookie dropped a load in his shorts at this one. Trooper was laughing his arse off. Here, off duty law enforcement has the authority for concealed carry at any time, and most do. In this part of the county, the locals and state police work very well together - the same troopers patrol the area, so they know the locals, and vice-versa. All the ones I knew - local and state - have retired by now.
Did you smell the donuts, the weed, or the decomposing body first?
Oh shit - You’re the guy in all my shortys pics.
Did he pop the twilight out again?
You stopped me because I'm black. (Ultra Caucasian)
Did you know there is a waiting period on GUNS?! This is bullshit! I am pissed off right now! Not five days from now!
"I swear I'm white"
'You want a cold one? We could do a line together, too. I got that good stuff.'
You are illegally detaining me. I am not driving. I am traveling.
Everything’s cool as long as you don’t check the trunk
Well, my glove compartment is locked, So is the trunk in the back And I know my rights, So you gon’ need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack? You some type of lawyer or something? Somebody important or something?" Well, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
We’ll see how smart you are When the k9 comes….
"But I *paid* my protection money this month!"
Please ossifer, take me drunk, I'm home.
Hey, dude, how's your mom doing?
"Kiss me, you fool!"
Cant go wrong telling them you are a sovereign citizen
“Damn you caught me, what do I win?”
Don’t say anything. Do not talk to the police.
Real life experience here: Cop walks up to my car and says do you know why I pulled you over? In my best Sling Blade Carl Chandlers voice I say. Mmmhmmm I reckon mmhh I was driving funny yep haven’t got much experience cept when they let me drive at the institute.mmmhhh.
Wanna see my tits?
Only gay cops pull me over.
Please don't murder me...
Come here often?
NICE TITS!
Are those level 4 plates?
NEVER… answer a police officers questions of any kind!!! Give them the paper work they request and shut the phuck up! They are actually conducting an interrogation/investigation of you. You have the right to remain SILENT, any and ALL things you say CAN & WILL be used against you in a court of law!!! You have no legal obligation to assist them with their investigation. Just hand them the documents they requested and when they start their interrogation… just say I don’t answer questions. If they continue asking you questions just say I won’t answer your questions without consulting my lawyer first. If they’ve got the evidence on you… anything you say just confirms their charge against you. If their evidence is non existent or very weak your admission of guilt makes their case ironclad. Be kind, considerate and respectful and NEVER implicate yourself in a crime!!!
“You wanna hit this shit?” while exhaling smoke.
I was pulled over one time because I had cut the cop off as I was making a left turn at the top of a blind hill. The officer approached me and asked, " Do you have any guns, knives, swords or grenade launches on you this evening?" I was laughing a bit at the grenade launcher quip and responded, "No sir, not this evening." He took that as cause that I normally do carry those, so he said he was gonna search the car. I didn't have anything illegal so whatever... but I was obviously joking around with the officer as he seemed like he was joking around too.
I was traveling, not driving.
Nice package.
“What is this about? Has someone been downloading child pornography?” (Reference to the Josh Duggar case)
How can I help you orificer? Cuntstible?
I witnessed this because I was the passenger. Cop - "You boys drinking tonight?" My Friend - "I don't know......you buying?"
You’ll need backup. Why were we BOTH speeding? You weren’t the one I wanted. I always drive like this and it’s never been an issue, what’s your problem? Why are you so obsessed with me? Did you bring the drugs?
"sir do you know why I pulled you over tonight" "Because I let you" The most badass response
Defund the police
[удалено]
Just call him a "funky ass pig".