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try relying primarily on empirical evidence, and recognize that all theoretical evidence is really just in your head. hard facts may be boring and/or depressing, but they help tame the bipolar monster
my bad. i was just suggesting something to try. i think of 'bipolar' as a tendency we all have. i struggle with mania myself (also not a diagnosis), but if i focus on the empirical data my mania eases
If you have ADHD, you could speak to your doctor as to whether there are any medications that will help even you out, as it were. Not sure if they exist, or if any of the focus medications can help. If that is not an option, you could look into sensory processing and regulation and see if those sort of strategies make sense.
Hi! I’m exactly the same way, I love intensely and feel my emotions intensely. Sometimes they’re too intense and I get stuck in a loop of obsessive thinking trying to determine if I messed up or if I’m just unworthy of love and compassion. My therapist told me that I expect people to be more like me instead of grateful for who they are and how they show me love. I also fixate on the people who treat me poorly, even going so far as trying to teach them how to be compassionate towards others (and hopefully to me as well). The hardest lesson to learn was that I wasn’t so much trying to help people as I was trying to control them. I wouldn’t have ever thought of it this way, I always said that I was helping them. Also, look up cognitive distortions and learn to recognize that they are just thoughts, and not always accurate. Retraining your brain will take time, but being confident in yourself will give you the strength to see yourself as a good and worthy person. When I’m extremely stressed and anxious I get obsessive thoughts and I can curb them using various methods. The best methods are recognizing which thoughts are cognitive distortions and countering them with reality. I found a really great way to do this using ChatGPT. If you download the ChatGPT app you can start a chat and load a request to identify the cognitive distortions in your thoughts. I’ll put that prompt in another comment so you can just copy and paste and use it yourself whenever you need it. I didn’t come up with this prompt myself, but I can’t find the original post to credit the source. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in curbing your obsessive thoughts. Recognizing the problem is the hardest part and you’ve already done that! Now comes the hard work of retraining your brain. You can do this! You’re capable of doing so much, just put that energy into progressing into a better state of being. Good luck!!!🍀
[Copy and paste the below prompt into ChatGPT and hit enter. The app will then ask you to give it a thought that’s been bothering you. My first thought that I entered was, “Nobody likes me because of my judgmental attitude,” but try with your own obsessive thoughts]
Act as David Burns and help me dissect my thoughts by identifying possible cognitive distortions.
Use Markdown to create a table that lists:
1. my statements
2. What cognitive distortion matches with that thought
3. questions that allow me to reframe my thoughts.
Rows are determined by each cognitive distortion.
Remember there may be more than one cognitive distortion per thought.
Begin by briefly asking what I would like to discuss.
Are you seeing a therapist? You need to be evaluated for adhd, etc. That would help explain things. TikTok has an incredible ND (neurodivergent) community, you will find a lot of company there. Good luck!
Look into [rejection sensitive dysphoria](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24099-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd). It’s often tied to ADHD.
Seek help from a qualified professional.
But the root of your problem is likely being unable to separate *you* from *your emotions* and allowing the lines to become blurred to the point where no one is actually driving the car or everyone is trying to drive the car at the same time, which is really just another way of saying no one is driving the car.
But a qualified professional may help to sort out the roadblocks keeping you from understanding this and/or acting on it.
I have this. It's hard for me to regulate my nervous system. I second guess myself and replay scenarios in my head. I'm really hard on myself.
The best thing I've found for me is to get off (minimize) time online. Go on walks and spend time outside.
Any advice outside of "time to go see a mental health professional" should be ignored. Go see a psychologist/ psychiatrist. The layman definition of something being pathological is anything that interferes with you being able to live your everyday life. Seems this would constitute.
Mindfulness, be where your feet are! Living in the present and choosing to intentionally seek mentally and emotionally living in the present and living based on facts has helped me a lot.
Those speedy thoughts can be a burden. Are you talking to a Doctor or Therapist about it?
Have you tried holding a specific picture in your mind? Or listening to a Progressive Muscle Relaxation Meditation?
Easier said than done, but I’ve obsessed over people when there wasn’t enough else going on in my life. You just have to be really busy all the time with hobbies, work, other friendships etc.
Breathing and learning how to control your concentration through breath work. It’s changed my life! I’m an obsesser too, and I talk myself through things more than ever thanks to working on my breathing. It’s a busy world out here, the whole flow of it. And it makes sense why we have a hard time slowing down and slowing down our minds. Your life is in your hands!
This post has been flaired as “Serious Conversation”. Use this opportunity to open a venue of polite and serious discussion, instead of seeking help or venting. **Suggestions For Commenters:** * Respect OP's opinion, or agree to disagree politely. * If OP's post is seeking advice, help, or is just venting without discussing with others, report the post. We're r/SeriousConversation, not a venting subreddit. **Suggestions For u/lonesomedove25:** * Do not post solely to seek advice or help. Your post should open up a venue for serious, mature and polite discussions. * Do not forget to answer people politely in your thread - we'll remove your post later if you don't. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SeriousConversation) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Emotions are just a play of the mind. If you let yourself get caught up in weird stories that have no basis in reality, heartbreak will be inevitable.
try relying primarily on empirical evidence, and recognize that all theoretical evidence is really just in your head. hard facts may be boring and/or depressing, but they help tame the bipolar monster
It’s not bipolar, I have never been diagnosed with it. I think it’s more of an ADHD related thing
my bad. i was just suggesting something to try. i think of 'bipolar' as a tendency we all have. i struggle with mania myself (also not a diagnosis), but if i focus on the empirical data my mania eases
No worries at all
If you have ADHD, you could speak to your doctor as to whether there are any medications that will help even you out, as it were. Not sure if they exist, or if any of the focus medications can help. If that is not an option, you could look into sensory processing and regulation and see if those sort of strategies make sense.
Hi! I’m exactly the same way, I love intensely and feel my emotions intensely. Sometimes they’re too intense and I get stuck in a loop of obsessive thinking trying to determine if I messed up or if I’m just unworthy of love and compassion. My therapist told me that I expect people to be more like me instead of grateful for who they are and how they show me love. I also fixate on the people who treat me poorly, even going so far as trying to teach them how to be compassionate towards others (and hopefully to me as well). The hardest lesson to learn was that I wasn’t so much trying to help people as I was trying to control them. I wouldn’t have ever thought of it this way, I always said that I was helping them. Also, look up cognitive distortions and learn to recognize that they are just thoughts, and not always accurate. Retraining your brain will take time, but being confident in yourself will give you the strength to see yourself as a good and worthy person. When I’m extremely stressed and anxious I get obsessive thoughts and I can curb them using various methods. The best methods are recognizing which thoughts are cognitive distortions and countering them with reality. I found a really great way to do this using ChatGPT. If you download the ChatGPT app you can start a chat and load a request to identify the cognitive distortions in your thoughts. I’ll put that prompt in another comment so you can just copy and paste and use it yourself whenever you need it. I didn’t come up with this prompt myself, but I can’t find the original post to credit the source. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in curbing your obsessive thoughts. Recognizing the problem is the hardest part and you’ve already done that! Now comes the hard work of retraining your brain. You can do this! You’re capable of doing so much, just put that energy into progressing into a better state of being. Good luck!!!🍀
[Copy and paste the below prompt into ChatGPT and hit enter. The app will then ask you to give it a thought that’s been bothering you. My first thought that I entered was, “Nobody likes me because of my judgmental attitude,” but try with your own obsessive thoughts] Act as David Burns and help me dissect my thoughts by identifying possible cognitive distortions. Use Markdown to create a table that lists: 1. my statements 2. What cognitive distortion matches with that thought 3. questions that allow me to reframe my thoughts. Rows are determined by each cognitive distortion. Remember there may be more than one cognitive distortion per thought. Begin by briefly asking what I would like to discuss.
Are you seeing a therapist? You need to be evaluated for adhd, etc. That would help explain things. TikTok has an incredible ND (neurodivergent) community, you will find a lot of company there. Good luck!
Look into [rejection sensitive dysphoria](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24099-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd). It’s often tied to ADHD.
Seek help from a qualified professional. But the root of your problem is likely being unable to separate *you* from *your emotions* and allowing the lines to become blurred to the point where no one is actually driving the car or everyone is trying to drive the car at the same time, which is really just another way of saying no one is driving the car. But a qualified professional may help to sort out the roadblocks keeping you from understanding this and/or acting on it.
I have this. It's hard for me to regulate my nervous system. I second guess myself and replay scenarios in my head. I'm really hard on myself. The best thing I've found for me is to get off (minimize) time online. Go on walks and spend time outside.
That’s always a good idea, I know I need to not be online so much 😂
Any advice outside of "time to go see a mental health professional" should be ignored. Go see a psychologist/ psychiatrist. The layman definition of something being pathological is anything that interferes with you being able to live your everyday life. Seems this would constitute.
Mindfulness, be where your feet are! Living in the present and choosing to intentionally seek mentally and emotionally living in the present and living based on facts has helped me a lot.
I’m just like this. It’s hard. Sometimes writing thoughts down, as if you’re explaining the situation to another person, helps sort the thoughts out.
Those speedy thoughts can be a burden. Are you talking to a Doctor or Therapist about it? Have you tried holding a specific picture in your mind? Or listening to a Progressive Muscle Relaxation Meditation?
Meds. Only thing worked for me. All of the feelings are still there but the volumes turned down. Ditto my internal monologue.
Easier said than done, but I’ve obsessed over people when there wasn’t enough else going on in my life. You just have to be really busy all the time with hobbies, work, other friendships etc.
Breathing and learning how to control your concentration through breath work. It’s changed my life! I’m an obsesser too, and I talk myself through things more than ever thanks to working on my breathing. It’s a busy world out here, the whole flow of it. And it makes sense why we have a hard time slowing down and slowing down our minds. Your life is in your hands!