I hate being messy too, it turned me off from wanting to try things. But then my husband offered to take care of the messy parts; he's the one who cleans things up immediately after the act with towels and wipes ready within reach
You can use cock sleeves/fleshlight toys on each other. It keeps a thick layer of material between your hand and the lube and feels amazing, especially if you let it sit in warm water for 10 minutes before using it to make it feel more skin-like. You can also use penetrative toys that also give you a handle and keep your hands free of lubes
More focus on experimenting with foreplay. Feather tickles, tying hands or blindfolds (yours or hers, with full consent and safe words), costumes, role play, food play, etc. Occupy the mind, have fun, and get to the edge without needing to deal with fluids.
The best recommendation so far is probably the fleshlight style toys. The tender bits will get raw if there’s friction without lubrication, and that’s kind of unavoidable. But fleshlight type toys would be a great way to keep the wetness removed from the partner.
Some folks have suggested a glove, but a variation on that would be a condom; if you get one that isn’t pre-lubricated, you can put some lube inside and have a dry outside. That will give a different textural feel than a glove touching a slick surface- should give her hand some more friction while still giving you the needed lubrication to minimize rawness.
Gloves have obviously been suggested. I would also suggest dental dams if you'd like to go down on her! Taking frequent breaks if she's getting overwhelmed, etc etc.
Has she tried using a glove with the lube for you? That might be enough of a buffer
I hate being messy too, it turned me off from wanting to try things. But then my husband offered to take care of the messy parts; he's the one who cleans things up immediately after the act with towels and wipes ready within reach
You can use cock sleeves/fleshlight toys on each other. It keeps a thick layer of material between your hand and the lube and feels amazing, especially if you let it sit in warm water for 10 minutes before using it to make it feel more skin-like. You can also use penetrative toys that also give you a handle and keep your hands free of lubes
Has she tried using a glove with the lube for you? That might be enough of a buffer
maybe try with lube in the shower and see if that works try a massage under the shower if that is to much
More focus on experimenting with foreplay. Feather tickles, tying hands or blindfolds (yours or hers, with full consent and safe words), costumes, role play, food play, etc. Occupy the mind, have fun, and get to the edge without needing to deal with fluids.
Try dry humping.
The best recommendation so far is probably the fleshlight style toys. The tender bits will get raw if there’s friction without lubrication, and that’s kind of unavoidable. But fleshlight type toys would be a great way to keep the wetness removed from the partner. Some folks have suggested a glove, but a variation on that would be a condom; if you get one that isn’t pre-lubricated, you can put some lube inside and have a dry outside. That will give a different textural feel than a glove touching a slick surface- should give her hand some more friction while still giving you the needed lubrication to minimize rawness.
Have you tried a lube with a different base? Most lubes are super icky but I love this one from hellocake. I think it’s the silicone lube
Gloves have obviously been suggested. I would also suggest dental dams if you'd like to go down on her! Taking frequent breaks if she's getting overwhelmed, etc etc.