Hello, your post/comment was removed due to Moderator Discretion. Your post is too toxic for users here.

Generalising a marginalised group as both toxic and oversensitive goes beyond just simply sharing your own experiences. Did you seriously not think that title would be offensive or upsetting in this community?

It didn't offend me? In the slightest. Just made me curious as to what was going in for the person.

Awwww, thank you!!!! 🫶🏽 Added and ‘edit’ to convey I didn’t mean to offend — just really can’t think of how else to refer to a subset of autistics, when that’s the ONLY attribute I know them to have in common…..? 🤷🏽‍♀️ Wish that subset could scroll past, rather than instantly hitting where it really hurts….? When all they know is the person they’re driving over the edge is ‘autistic’ ….? Idk….. before I go to the lengths of ramming my steel cap boots into someone’s cluster, I wanna be absolutely sure I want them to go down! Well, ***I*** can’t imagine doing that intentionally even then! Would I walk along the street, think _”don’t like green shirt”_ and ram my steel caps into a stranger’s cluster? —> CERTAINLY not!!!! — IF I inadvertently cause harm without intending, like the title and formatting in major meltdown: I apologise!!! And am genuinely sorry, cause I didn’t mean to harm anyone !!!!! 😭 However bad the meltdown, that’s not gonna be less -🤯- by harming others!!! Harming others won’t lessen my distress. ****** So I genuinely don’t know why it happens in ASD-related subs that someone out of nowhere charges at me and kicking where it hurts! 😢 Also: it’s not just me!!!! A range of friends have left other subs cause they kept on being re-traumatised galore!!! Even AFTER(!) they discussed their trauma, someone came and told them they were ‘lucky’ to have sustained that trauma. 😭 ***** Dunno if any of that makes sense, sorry!!!! The last 3-4 months it’s just been a > _”no frickin idea who you are, but you aren’t like me: THEREFORE I’LL TAKE YOU DOWN!!!”_ •sigh• 🫶🏽 Cheers! 🫶🏽

I am part of the marginalised group. I wasn’t talking about this sub. And put the single quotes in the title. Sorry, I’m not sure how else to refer to randoms whose only shared criteria (to my knowledge) is being autistic….? Didn’t mean to offend — how would you have referred to them?

I do not mean to offend you but I just want to state that there is is no „main feature“ of autism that is dysautonomia. Yes, it can be a comorbidity, but it’s no symptom or feature of autism. Edit: typo

I was very confused by that because I thought it was a separate thing, thank you for explaining 🦕

Of course, no problem :)

It can also be caused by so many different things, from comorbid conditions to spinal or brain injuries (I would know… I have both…)

I have heaps of spinal injury, prosthetic spinal implant…. but the dysautonomia precedes that. Have been assessed for tbi, cause I’m terrified of CTE. So far no neuropsychological changes. Neurosurgeons and neurologists are still checking . The dysautonomia precedes my hundreds of concussions as well though. 🤷🏽‍♀️

There's many different types of dysautonomia, and it can be caused by many different kinds of conditions, etc. So it's hard to say.

Thanks for your reply!!! 🫶🏽 Apparently it’s made ‘worse’ (diagnostically) by …. ‘other’ diversity factors potentially being a factor: Endocrinologist said about 75% of ethnic Africans with high BP are over sensitive to salt. Having been exposed to Chernobyl fallout and a benign pituitary tumour causing excessive thirst and over-hydration: apparently that could be a factor. Disordered sleeping / high BP —> kind of hen/egg, either could cause either Rapid metaboliser of heaps of medications, including most sedatives —> not helping with disordered sleeping, no, heart rate High bp & heart rate —> apparently may increase body temp….? ethnic African —> likely to sweat less, cause fever is better than dehydration …. Deviating from textbook on one or two aspects: easier to handle. (above is a fraction of the potential factors arising from just being ‘me!) Deviating in soooooo many aspects that there’s barely anything left which is textbook: I’m guessing that’s make diagnosing crazy hard, if not impossible! Cause there’s next to no ‘textbook’ left. And if most of what Drs learn in med school is ‘out’ …. 🫣 ***** Which is exactly what I mean by having concerns about my ASD assessment: Cause someone who has never heard of my cultural or linguistic background assessing me against THEIR(!) ‘norm:’ Yeah, having been in a very different culture for the first 29 years of my life, I’d expect to not fall within THEIR ‘norm.’ Having been out of my originating language and culture for 17 years: Is be markedly different there now, too. Cause neither I nor my originating culture have been frozen in time since 2006/07. It does in NO way mean I think autism weren’t real … etc. it means that I don’t think there is a ‘norm’ demographic to assess me against. Cause considering ALL factors: I’d say I’m likely unique! Cause my factors are just close to 5 decades of a string of funky unlikely happenstance. Shït happens once to a lot of people. But random unlikely shït, comparable shït, for close to 5 decades: prolly not. **** Or, in short: When despite of all kinds of imaging, blood testing, enzyme testing, genetic testing … Medical scientific tests not requiring a ‘norm’ to directly compare it to, and a raft of medical Drs dunno where to start! And if with ‘actual’ testing it’s impossible to know what’s exactly CAUSING what —> I’m not sure psychological comparative assessments could have scientific validity! Cause I cannot switch off everything ‘else’ for the assessment! 🤷🏽‍♀️ ***** But given that I can’t create a ‘norm’ demographic just for me: I just have to go with what’s available, whether it suits me or not is beyond my control. _[sorry, still not sure I’m explaining this right!!! I am NOT!!! claiming autism weren’t real, NOT claiming it’s all BS!!!_ _I just think there are individuals so far outside of ‘norm,’ there would appear to be validity issues….?!]_ 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also communication and social deficits are the ""main"" part of Autism sooo

Exactly. As well as restrictive, repetitive behavioural patterns.

Not offending at all. It’s the medical advice. Sorry, I’m not a Dr! 🤷🏽‍♀️

Dysautonomia truly isn't an autism feature though. It can be comorbid through conditions like ehlers danlos syndrome, which is a common condition for autistic people, but it isn't considered a clinically necessary feature of autism. I'm definitely not arguing that you're not autistic- let's face it, you claim to not have social/communication issues but your whole account is rife with them- but the diagnosis doesn't hinge on it, no matter what your individual background is. An autism diagnosis hinges on social, emotional, behavioural and sensory issues. Even if related, and whether we approve or not, dysautonomia is, medically, a comorbidity, not an autism feature.

You're way too much for a lot of people with sensory issues, just based on how you write without even looking at the text itself. You don't seem to know how to deal with people with sensory sensitivities. You seem to just barge in everywhere with zero consideration for the other people's needs. You can't demand other autistic folk accomodate you when you're absolutely not interested in returning the favour. I have ADHD and autism, if I'm way too hyper and my fellow AuDHD partner isn't having the kind of day where that's fine, I either tone it down if possible, or head out to get a good outlet for it (e.g. running around playing pokemon go or feed the ducks peas/lettuce or go to the outdoor adult gym playground) to avoid causing sensory pain to others. Please consider other people's needs. Edit: I've never had any issues with smileys, and you're not that unique otherwise. The most unusual thing about you is your synesthesia. Your problem is that you're not trying to extend the same respect to other autists that you expect from them.

I am sorry, I am vision impaired and dictating. I’d love to LOOK at the text more. Toggled off the formatting, hope this is better Please DO skip my posts if they negatively affect you, all good! 😊 ****** I don’t expect anyone to accommodate me. I’m perfectly fine with people scrolling past. Personal attacks so horrid I’m pushed into a major meltdown: THAT is not okay, imho. I am genuinely sorry my crap vision and lack of computer (ie, only tiny phone screen) makes it difficult for you. Not my intention at all. It’s not a lack of consideration… sorry! Please skip my posts, okay? Cheers!

The formatting wasn't good, I'd recommend reworking it or at least not using it on autism subreddits. Your texts works well without the formatting. My oldest little sister is legally blind, so I'm familiar with technology being difficult sometimes because they never were made with visually impaired people in mind.

•distant virtual hugs• Thank you for your understanding!!! Hope to grab my better half later today to be can fix the formatting! It’ll be an adventure , cause he doesn’t have reading glasses, doesn’t do markdown…. …. and hardly ever ‘communicates’ with strangers. Will see what I can do later! 😊 PS: We have a huge government department which is supposed to empower PWD: sadly they ob er and over have decided accessing email were not “reasonable and necessary” NOT having an accessible computer plays out to cost the taxpayer heaps more, but hey….. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Ugh, that's really annoying. My gov has been more and more conservative over the past few decades meaning a lot of disability services funding has increasingly reduced. I was really impressed with how much tools and help my sister got for her visual impairment when we were kids, all sorts of huge devices, tools, helpers, and much more. It's even really paid off for society considering her work now. I'm not sure kids with disabilities today get as much help... Even I've noticed it by that only a few years ago I got access to a free high quality weighted blanket and a free weighted vest, while they no longer provide such things since the last election. They've improved my quality of life so much, others not getting the same opportunities really really sucks.

You lie like a rug. In your own words, you have diminished sight in ONE eye. In your own words, you spend tons of time on formatting. You are so fake it's pathetic.

I'm kind of confused about the lying bit, tbh. Granted, you're right about the formatting bit; but I really don't care about how they write their posts because it would be overly judgemental of me. As for their eyesight, they've said that they've lost their good eye because to an violent ex, unfortunately

•distant virtual hug• Thank you. 🫶🏽

I have diminished sight in one eye, am legally blind in the other, and so not have an accessible computer…. You want medical certificates, or what….??? Cause I can assure you my life were so much easier if I could just fμcking read!

if you don’t like autistic people then why come here? people might be reacting poorly to you because of the way you communicate over text it’s super overwhelming and i’m not even sure what you’re trying to say. this is your first post on this forum as far as i can tell and it’s very in your face. i don’t even know what to respond with. it sounds like you’re stressed about a lot of sensitive things and need to talk about them. people on the internet generally cannot be trusted to give you a trauma-informed compassionate conversation (especially other people with disorders that affect communication). that’s what a therapist is for.

Very well stated I agree

^({sry, long due to quotes, pls don’t feel obliged to read!!!}) TRIGGER WARNING: meltdown description ******** >> _if you don’t like autistic people then why come here?_ Not what I was trying to convey!!! It’s a subset. All I know about them is they’re all autistic. Dunno how else to describe that subset, sorry! Put an ‘edit’ at the bottom of original post to explain — if you can do so safely, I’d appreciate feedback on whether that improves things. Sorry, phenomal meltdown last night after massive gaslighting and being destroyed by some random individual (‘autistic’) who knew nothing about me, didn’t ask, didn’t give a crap. They had almost a decade psychology training …. and not knowing ANYTHING about me started tearing in. 🫥 —> off the deep end I went. 🤕🤢🤒🤢🤕 Sobbing and shaking on the carpet, gasping for air. Running to the dunny, just do making it, violently puking my guts out. Struggling to get back up cause my proprioception had gone out the window and I didn’t feel gravity anymore, literally didn’t know where up or down was…. Grabbing the small bathroom bin, crawling back to the couch dragging the bin to get off the freezing cold tiles…. REALLY(!!) not in a good place! Now, 20h later, still cant feel my feet/legs below knee, arms/hands are still all tingly…. blurgh. 🫤 THAT IS **NOT** any excuse for harming anyone else!!! **at all** I am genuinely incredibly sorry for any harm I have done!!! 😭 So, SO worry, and wish it hadn’t come to that!!! More for everyone else here than myself, honestly!!! ****** >> _people might be reacting poorly to you because of the way you communicate over text it’s super overwhelming and i’m not even sure what you’re trying to say._ Partner helped me fixing the formatting. IF(!) you can do so safely, I’d appreciate if you could have a look and see if that’s better? I mostly use txt2speech and dictation due to vision impairment. So visual sensory barriers are hard for me to ascertain! Sorry about that! ****** >> _this is your first post on this forum as far as i can tell and it’s very in your face. i don’t even know what to respond with._ Again, I am so sorry! 😢 Massive meltdown, paramedics rang cause my watch alerted them to my wonky obs, and apparently a hard fall I don’t even recall — must’ve passed out, dunno. That combined with English being my fourth language…. … I fell **FAR** short of the thoughtful communication I would’ve preferred!!! Again, I am incredibly sorry! **** >> it sounds like you’re stressed about a lot of sensitive things and need to talk about them. Oh, trust me, I know! Sadly, professional trauma-rehab isn’t an option. So have been DIY with books and my amazing partner, without whom I wouldn’t be alive anymore. Looking back: Initially, 4 years ago, I had limited sessions with 2 trauma counsellors independently of each other. And a range of charities an d community organisations. Nobody expected me to survive, nobody expected me to get to where I am today in this lifetime! 😊 So all things considered: Our DIY trauma-rehab has apparently had been fairly miraculous results. Nowhere near ‘done’ though and prolly never will … just moving forward slowly and steadily! 😌 **** >> _people on the internet generally cannot be trusted to give you a trauma-informed compassionate conversation_ I don’t expect them to!! But given I don’t even go to my own mailbox by myself most days…. I need to interact with people! I don’t expect them to be trauma-informed. Just like I don’t expect a random person at the shops to be disability aware. I do kind of expect them to not charge at me with racial slurs, ableist slurs, demean me, belittle me, etc. They are NOT aware of my disabilities, as apart from my medical alert dog they’re not visible when I’m in my ‘zen’ range. They don’t need to be disability aware to NOT destroy me though!! And I don’t believe it’s unreasonable to expect similar online: Sure, there are posts which rub me the wrong way!!! But it is the WORLD-wide-web! I don’t know where in the world OP is from. What their cultural and social norms are. Whether there’s a language barrier. …. **NOT** knowing anything about their reality, not knowing if it’s a misunderstanding or why I feel ‘Hrmz’ —> why would I put on my steel cap boots and start kicking them in the cluster over and over….? Why wouldn’t I use active listening and repeat back to them: “Did you mean to say XYZ….?” OR: Just scroll past….? I’m guessing most of us scroll past almost all posts or comments? I, personally, don’t like bright green clothes. I don’t kick everyone in bright green clothes until they go down though! **** ^[tbc]

>> _”(especially other people with disorders that affect communication)”_ Hey, misunderstandings are normal when you’re different to everybody else! No drama at all!! 🫶🏽 But when someone in an autism-related sub says they — are autistic — have studied psychology for 8 or 9 years I am trying to explain to them void between cultures: how assessing a Canadian individual with the Mongolian tests, comparing them to rural inner-Mongolian ‘norms’ and the assessment conducted in Chinese is …. kinda problematic, and I don’t know how valid whichever result would be!! I feel in that scenario a — Yea-autistic — nu-uh could both be right or wrong, due to using a wrong assessment for that Canadian. The autistic psych quite unpleasantly claimed I couldn’t be autistic if I didn’t experience social barriers. I explained that void between cultures to them, too: + I sound Germanic + look African + my face, body language, and speech patterns are WAAAAYYY more expressive than (sober) understated Anglo-Celtic Australian: people can look at my back and tell by my shoulder-blades my face is frowning! + don’t behave or communicate the way my bio-sex does here + take a dog to Parliament House or Court to sit in the galleries + I’m bouncy and perky, skip along Parliament halls, not caring I’m 46 years old + I like dancing in the rain + I wear two different shoes!!!! Being half-blind my lack of eye contact doesn’t register, really. The rest of me: EVERYTHING(!) about me being impossible to miss from a mile away, ‘autism’ doesn’t register. People are WAAAYYY too busy trying to figure out what species I might be and whether they’re hallucinating. BECAUSE I am so different, ‘autistic’ doesn’t feature! Plus: the cultural, ethnic, linguistic diversity means people don’t expect ‘sameness.’ Cause the very first thing they notice about me from a mile away is _”not like me”_ I don’t really experience ASD-social-barriers: I love public speaking and excel at it: This morning a 30min phone counselling session went 76mins, the counsellor was laughing and regretted she had to go. I find other people incredibly stimulating. …. THAT was when that random autistic-psych went apeshit: — How I undermined and devalued autism, — Did autism ‘wrong,’ — Questioned autism existed — I didn’t belong because I have no social barriers in my environment — My existence was detrimental to autistics …. To my culture wasn’t a factor, everything about me was wrong in whichever culture. When I’d be crazy surprised if they had ever even heard of Swabia!! >> _«I never heard of your culture but you are doing it WRONG!!!»_ A close to max length post with one deep blow after another, after another, after another: EVERYTHING about ‘me’ was somehow harmful to every other autistic. My smilies were offensive and devaluing. Ending in ‘cheers’ was demeaning …. — I am **JUST** me! Whoever I am has zero bearing on who they are. Even without the better part of a decade of psychological training: it’s a SPEC-TRUM! Of course we aren’t all alike, just as not all blacks are alike! None of us is ‘just’ autistic! We have a bio-sex, a cultural background, a life history, …. like cats or dogs or neither … That not all autistics around the globe are the same: Kinda common sense? I do **NOT** believe anyone needs to be trauma informed to not claim they knew more about a culture they had never heard of than someone born and raised in it, with about 400 years of family history, traditions, customs, dishes etc! What’s the benefit ….? *** >> _”that’s what a therapist is for.”_ Spare one? 😁

Thank you. 🙏🏽 No, as a kid I had heaps of friends, still do. None of them ND, to my knowledge. Perpetual class rep, student rep voted for the school in college-equivalent, In uni chosen out of over 20k students for an award for student engagement and collegiate dedication Still in touch with friends from when I was 2 years old, kindy friends, primary school friends…. secondary school and college-equivalent friends. Have a pet theory why, but that’d be too long now! It all changed when I migrated to Australia. Though there’s a plethora of factors there, mostly the being lured into slavery-like horrendous abuse. ****** >> Have you considered that maybe your being extremely expressive and talking a lot about yourself might be a bit much for many autistic people? YEP!! It’s why in real life I TRIPLE(!) check for autistic gatherings if there’s different spaces for low and high intensity people!!!! Cause I generally don’t wanna harm anyone. Regarding last nights horrendous meltdown: I am so, SO sorry!!! See: https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/QriCwqQIKY —— On REDDIT: Talking about me is kinda the default starting position! Can’t talk about people I don’t know yet? ***** >> _Whereas you might feel more rejected by other autistic people because frankly, we are more likely to outright tell you that you're annoying or too loud/obnoxious._ Also covered under above link I think >> _Babe there comes a point where if everyone else seems to be the problem, you need to consider whether your own behaviour is part of the problem._ There’s heaps of Reddit autistics I’m friends with. They are leaving subs for the same reason. 😢 Different opinion is fine!!!! I genuinely enjoy other people’s views, experiences, histories, everything! 😍 But it has to be respectful!!! Destroying me for who I am, claiming my existence harmed autistics…. claims I should’ve been aborted …. claims how autistic female sexual assault survivors are better off cause they get any ….. That’s …. imho, unacceptable! And it’s by a long stretch not ‘just me’ affected by that kind of conduct! Most of my autistic Reddit friends have left other ASD-subs because of their sexual assault trauma constantly being viciously crapped on. So 1-2 weeks ago I put together a carefully worded post with heaps of links to sexual assault stats for autistic women. Which was incredibly well received!!! MOSTLY!!!! Cept that’s when I became a target, leading to last night's meltdown. ***** >> And if your personality/behaviour was smooth and easy to get along with, okay, that's impossible to tell given how I crashed through the roof with my pants on fire: I genuinely am! I, a brown leftie kid, was in a swim team with full blown German neo-nazis. And we became friends. I 100% believe in politics they were wrong. which doesn't mean I was right. In my 'zen' I'm incredibly warm, supportive galore, deeply caring, love to make people laugh, ….. and if I can't stand you and you genuinely need help: I'll be there!!!! 😊 ANYONE without a place to sleep, yes perfect strangers, can always crash here. Bushfires around, in rural Australia: ANYONE and their pets can crash here. Have stretchers and inflatable mattresses for a dozen people …. would find more if needed! ubuntu…. The basis of my spirituality/philosophy: I am because of the people around me, they are because of me, we are because of each other! 🫶🏽 ***** >> Neurotypicals and other autistic people most likely don't find the topic of your life story and experiences as interesting as you do, How could I talk about sth you find interesting before knowing you exist? ***I*** don't find my life interesting. at all! I'm living it. no benefit regurgitating it endlessly! I'm much more interested in sitting with a pan-handler, seeing the world through their eyes, listening to their struggles. But, yes: it's often quickest to reveal a personal part of myself to break the ice: like my panic attacks… and before I know their name, someone whispers: "Me too!" >> _it's important as you get life experience to do what you can to pick up on cues that you might be boring someone with your special interest._ Don't really have one! More disinterests, like molecular biology. I've never been religious, am not even baptised. But I'm insanely stoked and humbled when my deeply Christian friends share their angel-encounters with me!!! if they ask me to: OF COURSE I'll pray with them!!! I don't believe, but it's important to them! invited to mosque or temple: I'm honoured and of course I'll go!!!!! ***** >> They also don't usually feel guilty about lying about a reason to leave. •laugh• Nah! Everybody knows to just tell me "time for you to leave". not a rejection, normal in my originating culture! "no, don't wanna," also normal for me! 😝 **** >> we are more likely to outright tell you that you're annoying or too loud/obnoxious. I don't expect to be liked by everyone! social gathering, Christmas Party with politics-people incl Territory Ministers and federal pollies: I smile at the best man ever and say lovingly _"Fuck off, honey!"_ Everybody laughs, he flings me around and gives me a biiiiiig smooch. ***** >> whereas autistic people might feel it's necessary to stay and try to correct you on it. THAT could be a prob!!! Cause I feel/believe xyz: sure, I love to know why you differ!!! But I do not expect you to change your views! Cause what you feel or believe isn't up for debate. I'm happy to calmly point that out to you, adding it doesn't mean my belief is more valid!!! I could be wrong, we both could be wrong, both right. Sameness is an illusion! 🫶🏽cheers!🫶🏽

You come into a sub for high support needs autistic people who can't hide our autism, who are always followed by the bad ways people think about us. Then you write a very inaccessible to read post where you tell us we are "crazy toxic", and list loads of examples on why NTs are better. In the comments, people are rightfully critiquing you for this. Yet you go on to be surprised that you get backlash for ... invading a space full of the people you're shitting on. Where you actively seek us out just to tell us we are bad, because of events and conversations most of this sub probably never participated in. What did you expect would happen? That we'd cheer happily for having an angry overwhelming person come into our space just to say lots of bad things about autistic people in general? Nope. You're being mean for bringing this here, we have nothing to do with people who hurt you in your past, don't take it out on us. Go hang out with the amazing NTs that you love so much and leave my spicy autism space alone, please.

👏👏👏👏👏👏

I am sorry, none of the above was what I intended: I was NOT(!) referring to ppl in this sub. Sorry I did t make it as clear as I should’ve or it got lost in wonky formatting Sorry the auto-formatting made the post inaccessible: vision impairment and no accessible computer, so fudging around with txt2speech and dictation! Yes, I came here BECAUSE I have extremely high support needs and was destroyed elsewhere. For … no reason other than **NOT** being like someone who I suspect doesn’t need close to 24/7 support. I was NOT angry!!!! I was devastated and distressed. Hope this isn’t too long, but went into it in detail above at: https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/ldbxOkQ2dj

I am super sorry but I don't can't understand what you wrote I hope this doesn't offend you I know you can't control how you write it was just very very overwhelming for me to look at so I couldn't read it but I do have a question which is are you the same person [from this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/19c13vd/did_i_handle_this_situation_correctly_or_am_i_in/) because I felt like maybe it is the same recognise the writing style I don't know why but I feel like you might be that person I just feel a bit strange I don't know why; just if you are that person you said some not very nice things to my friend and say that you don't even really have many autistic traits and yet you are severely autistic because your body has dysautonomia because of your autism which confuses me because you also say you have a connective tissue disorder and connective tissue disorders very very commenly have dysautonomia as part of it so I don't think you would be diagnosed as having severe autism because of dysautonomia since dysautonomia is a comorbitiy I think? I might be wrong and I send you many happy cats 🐈🐈🐈 I really really really hope this doesn't come across as rude I am just really super confused!!

You don't have to apologise, your points are valid and you wrote it very politely. I think it's the same person too and in their post history they are also rude and in conflict a lot.

I don’t think so, I gather the other person doesn’t think so….. You do….? On what do you think I am… whoever, pls? 🤷🏽‍♀️ What about my post-history is “rude,” pls? YES: + I support survivors of sexual assault + I advocate for victims of gendered violence + I raise awareness for autistic women I advocate for — human trafficking/modern slavery victims — people with disabilities — assistance dogs and their handlers GENERALLY I tend to sum it up as >> **Diversity Advocate** Can’t always be velvet-glovy standing up for marginalised groups. But mostly didn’t think it would amount to a HISTORY of rude….? 🫣 **** Or is having a phenomena meltdown ‘rude?’ GENUINE(!) question, pls!! Obviously Dnflish is a foreign language to me, my cultural background is very different, heaps of other diversity factors: So if there’s a history of being ‘rude’ without provocation, could you pls let me know so I can learn? Cheers! 🤷🏽‍♀️

thanks for remembering my post and tagging it!! 💓💓 I do think this a similar persin

🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 thank you!!!! I very much appreciate you pointing it out, don’t think it was me… ?! 😊 Wouldn’t know for certain cause I don’t recall usernames, at all!!! Sorry, don’t think so… but dunno? Being mostly housebound I don’t do much but Reddit…. so idk. There’s like 200million plus people of European background from cultures which have very similar communication patterns though!!! Whoever it was, I am incredibly sorry you got hurt!!! 😢 **** I sooo appreciate you saying it prolly wasn’t me, thank you!!! Ugh, so touched now I’m crying!!! 🥲 You are awesome!!!! 🤩 I cannot express how much it means to me right now what you did there! 🥰 Last night was insanely rough for me. Relentless feeding frenzy of some(!) autistics ganging up and picking my bones, and just not stopping. 😭 Causing the phenomenal meltdown above!!! 😢 So thanks heaps! That was incredibly kind of you! I’m still recuperating from last night and can do without another witch-hunt for a few days. Thank you! •sniffles• That’s happy-tears!!! You made my day!!! 😍 Cheers! 🫶🏽

Hi, you seem nice. but i found out the link was you. https://preview.redd.it/f527oafd8vuc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f611b5d5137544915dd5eb15e907c68f314d1e7a

Take another look at the link, it was definitely you :)

Yes addie!! It was them.thanks for pointing this out https://preview.redd.it/hf81m9zg8vuc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1525b70cfba6be5d7a42bb73103c52df770570cf happy cats 😺😺

Stickler Syndrome, to my knowledge, is not associated with dysautonomia. It’s mostly early onset osteoarthritis, vision loss, hearing loss, neuropathies, hyper mobility. I think….? 🤷🏽‍♀️ All I can tell you is how it was explained to me, sorry! I’m not an MD. ****** Yes, I have huge concerns regarding my assessment, cause it wasn’t ‘scientific’. Cause I am from a diametrically opposite culture, English isn’t my native language…. but was assessed with the Oceanic materials in AU. By an Asian descent Australian and an Anglo-Celtic Australian psychologist. Vision impairment and not seeing a lot of the test material…. I am NOT talking about anybody else, only about me: If you have to modify and change and adjust almost all of the test material: I believe there could be validity issues….? I am not a professional though!!! I’m a bit of a cynic though, and can’t help but wonder if the ~$10k …. well, I have a feeling money could potentially affect outcomes? I dunno how exactly psychs are accredited and maintain registration, or what their legislated obligations are exactly. But to me that has a conflict of interest vibe….? 🤷🏽‍♀️ ****** Again, and I cannot possibly em phases this enough: I am talking about ME!!! Not anyone else, how could I….? But because there is no test for my demographic and combo of diversity factors: How could cultural factors, language factors, vision impairment, trauma …. how could ALL of that be worked around by assessors who have never even heard of the culture I grew up in…. ? My understanding is that assessment is based on comparing the individual, me, to ‘norm.’ But comparing me to the ‘norm’ on the other side of the world: I would be surprised if I weren’t ’markedly different.’ Cause it’s a ‘norm’ that doesn’t apply to me….? Like, if you were assessed against a cultural setting of China: you’d be markedly different….? Not sure I’m explaining this right, sorry!

You were talking about others though. Maybe you’re misdiagnosed with autism and that’s why you’re having these issues.

Other have those issues as well: no shortage of autistic women survivors diminished by incel-vibe-autistics I wouldn’t know if I am ‘misdiagnosed.’ I’m more leaning towards I can’t be reliably diagnosed. I can’t ’make up’ my own diagnoses, have to go with what I’m given. So while I am hugely concerned I was assessed by people who didn’t know what ‘norm’ is for my background: I cannot change that! Am I convinced I am autistic….? Well, in my environment I still may not be. But I have to survive, and in the environment I’m in I have extremely high support needs. I can’t change my environment, nor can I choose to not have the needs I have. Don’t have $10k for another diagnosis, and whoever diagnosed me still wouldn’t know my ‘norm.’ To be assessed by someone who has an idea of what my norm is: That’d be more like $50k and hugely traumatic. So that’s not happening. 😢 —— Does it make any difference whether I REALLY am autistic or not….? If to two psychologists ad two psychiatrists I present as ASD2 in my current environment: Does it really make a diff what’s trauma, what’s neurodivergence, what’s synaesthesia, what’s cultural, what’s disability….? Do I have validity concerns of applying assessments from the other end of the world in a non-native language to me: SURE!! Am I sure I know better than highly trained professionals…? certainly not. 🤷🏽‍♀️ JUST like anybody else: I may doubt one or the other diagnosis, but just gotta roll with it. Cause if I were sure, I wouldn’t have sought medical advice to begin with! 😉

i’m sorry you are struggling to find acceptance, but that doesn't justify insulting an entire community in their own space. furthermore, if you’re having trouble finding ‘non-toxic’ autists, i wouldn’t recommend going around to new subs and starting with “autistic people are toxic.” not a great way to make autistic friends.

Not my intention at all!!! NOT people here! I have close to 24/7 support needs I am genuinely sorry I as having a full-blown meltdown-galore. NOT an excuse for things coming out all wrong. But communicating in my 4th language so distressed to not know where up and down is. I am incredibly sorry I was harmful to people here!! Absolutely not my intention, AT ALL!!! Sorry, any change you could refer to https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/ldbxOkQ2dj I genuinely don’t mean to harm anybody here!!! This should be a safe space for high suppprt needs autistics. **** SO: If possible for you to safely do so, could you pls have a look at the post linked above explaining things? AND If then you feel I jeopardise people’s safety, pls let me know? If that is the case, I’ll move on… … to a very high supports needs sub of 1, or wherever. I’ll figure that out then, most of all: I do not want to harm others!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

i’m sorry that you had such a terrible meltdown yesterday, i hope you’re feeling a little better. however, it’s not my place to say whether or not you are welcome here or if you’re harming people. that decision belongs to those with higher support needs than me, as this is their space. i hope you are able to find your footing in the community and get yourself some compatible and understanding spectrum friends. we all deserve community.

Thank you for your kind words!!! 🫶🏽 The ‘you’re harmful’ accusation wasn’t here. That was in a broad ASD group ! I wouldn’t know what *”high support needs”* means? 🤷🏽‍♀️ ‘Comparing’ as in «my needs are higher than yours…» makes me feel uncomfortable, tbh! Sure, I’m funded in the *’intensive / extremely high support needs’* stream — but I wouldn’t want my needs to supersede yours! —— MOST people here are lovely. Some seem to apply a very harmful double standard! Like, high needs autistic who survived slavery-like conditions and had her life completely nuked. Irretrievably so, a century old line ended. They say they wouldn’t tolerate being hit by a low-needs autistic during a meltdown. That low needs person wasn’t part of the convo. ^(_{imho that’s not unreasonable, given their background}_) ***** Then, here: The high-needs autistic is attacked, is called vicious, accused of attacking the low-needs when they never had any direct contact…. …. saying you wouldn’t tolerate being hit from a low-needs makes me a horrible person. Coming from someone who’s DIRECTLY attacking a high-needs….? **** Yep, my meltdown was bad, I wish I could take it back!! But it was a meltdown following having been victimised. I didn’t attack anyone in specific, stated it wasn’t anyone here, and profusely apologised. — But here some people with extremely high support needs are directly attacked …. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I’m not sure it was ‘intent’ by the attackers (plural). A lot of high-needs autistic face communication barriers!! Sadly, my communication barriers are not taken into account by some here. Again, I am not sure it was ‘intentional!’ — I am gaslit, attacked, undermined. Suggestions people here knowing next to nothing about me knew better than an army of Drs and allied health. When I try to ‘defend’ myself and explain to the best of my abilities, I am accused of making it all about me. Dunno it was ‘intent’ …. Intent or not — doesn’t necessarily make a diff to the victim!! Gaslighting is harmful, lack of intent doesn’t mean it’s not affecting the victim. For illustration and not suggesting it were the same: My ex didn’t intend for me to lose an eye…. his lack of intent doesn’t mean it had no effect! ***** So: —> I am not entirely sure this sub is healthy for ***ME***!!! Cause as I said before: I think this sub should be safe for autistics with high support needs! But will see, ey? 😊 Thanks again for your kindness 🫶🏽

I’m sorry I’m struggling to understand what this post is saying. Are you saying autistic people online drained you till you had a fever? For your question of how can you have NT friends and talk to strangers but autistic people are harmful to you, that’s just how life works. There’s good people and bad people. I know good NT and bad NT, I also know good autistics and bad autistics. It’s not autism or neurotypicalism that determines wether they are kind, that’s just up to them. Cheers is a normal thing people say depending where you live, it’s not bad to say. Also genuine question, why do you type like this with the fonts? Is it easier for you? It gets confusing and hard to read at points.

Hi, thanks for your reply! 🫶🏽 Sorry I wasn’t clearer. Head really fuzzy right now… 🤒 Yes, unfortunately my body can’t regulate autonomous body functions. Like heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature. So the ‘wrong’ kind of stress, and my BP, heart rate, temp can go out of ‘ideal’ range. And tonight has been … YIKES!!! Sorry about the fonts, will try to do better! ***** Sure, there’s good and bad people. But when I talk about my Apartheid trauma, NT people do NOT go off at me how I weren’t black enough. When I talk about the WW2 history of my family in Germany: NTs don’t go off at me that I weren’t real German cause I’m too black. When I talk to NTs about ANY of my disability or my trauma: they ask me what they can do to make it easier for me, if anything. **** When I share my experience in an ASD-related sub: + my existence harms other autistics, + my experience invalidates other autistics, + I can’t be autistic cause I’m not like them + my smilies to indicate tone are wrong (English is only my 4th language) + ending my posts in “cheers!” offends them …. …. If everything about me irritates them: Why not just a roll past? I don’t walk along the street and punch every one I don’t like the look of or who isn’t like me! Do you think it could mostly be low-needs autistics….? 🤷🏽‍♀️ Hope that’s clearer? So sorry if not!!! 😖 Cheers! 🫶🏽

Other autists outside of you aren't a monolith: "But when I talk about my Apartheid trauma, NT people do NOT go off at me how I weren’t black enough." This is the kind of thing I have heard plenty of NTs being jerks about. In "real life" I have never met anyone who would be like this. "When I talk about the WW2 history of my family in Germany: NTs don’t go off at me that I weren’t real German cause I’m too black." Racism isn't an autism thing either. One side of my family tree has a lot of trauma from both WW1 and WW2. One of my best friends who's a German has autism and he isn't pure enough for the nazis either. I'm an ethnic "mutt" too. Keep in mind that German ancestry and being German is different: If you have only ethnicity connections to Germany through your black grandparents but you don't even speak German and don't really know anything about Germany, then your grandparents were very much German but you "only" have German heritage.

I was born and raised in Germany, went to school there, did UG and PG there, am a German national, spent my entire life there til age 29, Swabian is my first language …. The only thing I am not is Caucasian. Sorry, I don’t understand what you are trying to say. Don’t wanna jump to conclusions, cause what I can think of ….? Don’t think you meant to say….?

The only people who are going to claim you're not German just because you're black are neo nazi type of people. Either they're neo-nazi sympathizers, or outright neo nazis. It doesn't matter if they're autistic or if they're neurotypical. The only thing that could make such comments forgivable is if the one saying that you're not German because of your skin color is if they're notably intellectually disabled and too gullable and have been too subjected to bad influences (racist parents or racist friends).

>> _«The only people who are going to claim you're not German just because you're black are neo nazi type of people. Either they're neo-nazi sympathizers, or outright neo nazis.»_ NOPE, sadly not!!! There’s a HUGE difference between CONSCIOUS and IGNORANT! It makes very much a difference in whether the person is a Nazi or not. To the victim, it doesn’t. I was born an African baby to a struggling, unwed, white as the driven snow, reddish-haired, single mum in 1978. Then West Germany. In 1978 unwed and baby was outrageous! There were bugger all black people in Germany. Strangers walked up to mum profusely complimenting her on how brave and generous she was for CHOOSING to rescue a child like I….. I was right there, they spoke about me like I were a dog from the RSPCA. Mum’s: _«SHE IS MY DAUGHTER!!!»_ …. and faces collapsed!!! Aghast, gasping for air, horrified, …. and: DISGUSTED. In the ‘90s: Still the exact same. ALL my life perfect strangers, like checkout staff in stores, the ‘complimented’ me: >> _«Yourrrrrrr Gerrrrrman rrrrreal gooooood! Hoooooow learrrrrn?»_ Same way you did. Unlike you, I managed to actually learn my native language though. >> [looong empty face… I just wanted to pay for the milk!] Born here, raised here…. close to graduating from MAs in German, English/American Literature and Linguistics…. _[often had to actually tell them to just talk to me normally, but for ease of reading and dictating leaving that part out!]_ >> _«What nationality are you?»_ German. >> _«No, you can’t be REAL German! What else are you?»_ Female, smart, …. I’m also trying to buy milk…. >> _[impatient] «Where are your parents from??»_ At which point I informed the way older lady that this scenario was I with milk and money, trying to give her money to walk out with the milk. My ancestry and perceived pedigree didn’t factor into this scenario and was none of her business. But if she really wanted to exchange personal details: If she told me about her sexual preferences, I’d gladly draw her an ancestry tree…. THAT as always when the line behind me erupted: half cheering me on, the other half being aghast what a spoilt brat I was. That was still pretty much daily in 2007: I was “not REAL German” ***** I do realise that it wasn’t intended the way it came across! Every single person was just curious. In SW German highland, people are genuinely curious and excited about “the other.” Being different isn’t a flaw, it’s interesting! It wasn’t meant to make me ‘lesser!’ It was a _”WOAH! You’re different! Awesome, tell me!”_ Sure, there’s phenomenal boundary issues. But a culture in which the ideal is individualism (not sameness!) has serious advantages: Growing up I never had the > **how dare you not be like us?!?”** I was special in the awesome-meaning because I was different. ALWAYS being noticed was socially constructed as ‘distinguished.’ Other kids followed my lead for as long as I can remember, in adulthood I was envied. The social construction of ‘different’ is close to diametrically opposite to what it is in Australia. **** ^[tbc]

BUT if you have that convo umpteen times a day, wherever you go: the “not REAL German” becomes insanely hard to bear. Especially as a teen when you’re finding your identity. And who you are …. Feels like it’s constantly denied by people you’ve never met and won’t ever meet again: Newsagent, grocery store, bus driver, cafeteria clerk, ticket controller, nightclub bouncer, bar waiter …… And you just wanna SCREAM at people that ethnicity, nationality, and identity are three completely different concepts. For most Germans they’re congruent. For some they’re not. The «you-can’t-be-who-you-are»: I think this feeling might be more relatable to people here than the being awesome BECAUSE you’re different…? ****** TODAY: Canberra, Australia’s capital, has about 400k people, give or take. About 20k native speakers of ‘German’ >> ^((ie, one of the many dialects! My native dialect, Swabian: so different from northern German dialects, communication fails. Royally! Swabian is very closely related to Amish though, and the two are mostly interchangeable!)) I steer clear of any of the German clubs and events and meets ups here. Don’t really speak German in public unless my mum visits. Cause she doesn’t speak English. I steer clear of Germans here, cause even 17,000km (~11,000mi) away from Germany, when I go to a meet-up: I approach the table and all conversations stop. All eyes expectantly on me. I haven’t sat down yet before I’m curiously asked where I’m from. Why my German is so fluent. ….. 😒 NOT AT ALL(!) racist!!! Most Germans here are lefties…. on the US spectrum they’d likely be called ‘socialists’ They’re genuinely curious and excited. I am …. not! So I disagree with your notion that it’s always racism. It isn’t. But for some reason half a world away, all of us having migrated here: the concept of people migrating hasn’t really sunken in. 🤦🏽‍♀️ ***** I’m not sure I’m explaining this right!!! Back then the “not REAL” German was crazy challenging and harmful. It wasn’t intended that way!!!! BUT: In hindsight…. in many ways I think it was a huuuuuge PLUS, overall! Cause I grew up incredibly empowered: Other kids always followed my lead. However stupid my lead was, really! Cause I was the most ‘distinguished’ ***** Sure, there was quite a bit of overt racism in the 70s/80s. But I can’t help but wonder whether part of why I’m so “different” to a lot of other autistics because until I migrated at age 29: I wasn’t flawed. I didn’t not-belong. I wasn’t a ‘misfit.’ I was the opposite: envied, included, popular-by-default. I wasn’t all that good looking. But I walked into a pub and heaps of heads turned. I could walk up to any table or perfect strangers, nobody ever asked what the hell I was doing. Everyone instantly moved together to make room for me, often someone asked me what I wanted to drink and got it for me. It sounds HORRIBLE!!! 😨 But that was ‘just’ my normal. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I didn’t know anything else. Sure, I had grown up below the poverty line …. and the ignorant young idiot I was I genuinely thought I had been disadvantaged. I was in faaar more way than I could fit in here: my parents anti-Apartheid activists which put us on the radar of anti-terror intelligence. Summers in East German Pioneer camps which was hugely unusual. Yep, I very much was different! But the social construction of “different” was overwhelmingly positive. Different …. awarded me perceived status. NOT(!) all that good looking: In nightclubs I was occasionally asked for autographs. People had no idea who I was, but my ‘presence’ meant must-be-important. Generally people thought I was an actress. Hamburg, on the Reeperbahn, on my then bf’s arm, sex workers went off at me walking past. Men walked up to my bf, asked him sth, looked disappointed…. walked away: they had checked if I were a drag-queen. Short-round woman walked up to him, asked him sth. Her face LIT up!!!! And for the next 45mins I was lapping the club to stay out of reach of her drunken hands!!! My then-bf laughing his ass off. I suspect growing up like that brought with it a base-confidence and self- acceptance most autistics in Anglo-Celtic societies wouldn’t have! Got fairly dinged since my soul and self was obliterated…. but because it was my ‘normal’ growing up, it’s still there. Slowly building it up again.

Thank you for sharing! It's really interesting to see such an experience. I grew up in the third largest city in my country, yet it's ludicrously tiny compared to big German cities. Like a third of my first grade class were visibly mixed ethnicity or second/first generation immigrants (including from wartorn countries), and the non-visibly mixed ethnicity like from neighbouring countries was maybe one sixth or more. As a kid in a mixed environment there we pretty much learned that ethnicity wasn't as important as the culture you grew up in, like how much you could share and do together with others. My parents probably only got married because my mother got pregnant and she had too oldfashioned christian parents, and the pregnancy and birth was really hard for her so she was incredibly resentful against me. So most of my alienation and psychological issues were from my parents making me terrified that if others found out how "bad" I really was then they would shun me and say hateful things to me too just like my parents. By bad I mean the symptoms of my at the time undiagnosed autism and adhd. I knew something was really wrong with me even back in kindergarten, I just didn't know what or why and my parents made me hate myself. I have relatives in a whole bunch of different countries (including Australia), but a bunch of the different European ones were the only ones we visited. Other ones I've been in has been Canada, Germany, and a week long school trip to France. I enjoyed hanging out with my peers and once I was in like second grade I was more or less liked because I was good at listening and knew a lot of random facts. But it didn't feel much reprocial because they didn't know about even half the stuff I knew and was interestinterested in and therefore I didn't pester them with things they weren't interested in or was above their comprehension. Trading stickers and talking about cartoon shows was still socializing. The first year of school was difficult to me because of those interest clashes - my peers were pretty unaware of many things and my teachers were the only ones who were interested in talking about stuff like newspaper articles, animal biology, science and so on. My peers weren't stupid at all, it's just that unlike them I worked hard to mentally escape my home life so while they had fun with family and relatives, I actively sought to be as little in the path of my parents as possible and put my hyperlexia to good use by hiding in libraries and much more and so I got exposed to a lot of subjects and information they wouldn't come across until several years later. Because they didn't need to, they had fulfilling and busy home lives. I didn't feel lesser around my peers growing up, just too different and lonely. Around strangers in public I was treated like I was invisible, and I really loved that because no attention meant no possible backlash from them suffering volatile emotions, as my parents had accidentally taught me. I briefly got a terrifying amount of attention from old creeps in public for like up to half a year at 14 when my boobs grew too obvious and I hadn't yet learned that I couldn't wear thin t-shirts anymore, but that thankfully instantly went away when I started wearing bulky baggy sweatshirts and the like and I got to be invisible in public again. My experience of "being different" was only very negative in regards to my parents. The older I got as a teen the more of an advantage it became among my peers, and I had multiple skills they liked. I just didn't feel I could be myself properly around others, not until 11th grade when I joined the computer club and finally stopped feeling lonely. I finally got to meet fellow nerds and geeks that I could be myself around. Despite all that and no longer feeling lonely, I still painfully felt like something was wrong with me, and that feeling didn't go away until I was like 35 and found out that I had ADHD and autism, even though I wouldn't get diagnosed until a few years later because of me moving around and stuff. I've met plenty of people like you, minus your experience of being the only one like you. That sort of solitary experience must have been pretty strange and rough, even though it was positive attention. Because being put on a pedestal is still being othered.

I think I understand a little more. I don’t know exactly what you’re posting in other autism subs but it sounds like some people haven’t been very nice to you. I still believe it boils down to there’s good and bad people tbh. What you are saying you have experienced with NT isn’t the same for every NT. I know many who would not be so nice and I know many autistic people who would be nice. I’m glad you know nice NT people, it’s important to have nice people around. There’s always going to be toxic people in any kind of group of people so it’s good you know kind ones. Obviously some autistic people are toxic because they are people but there are tons of super lovely autistic people out there, I see them in these subs a lot! Have some dinosaurs 🦕🦕🦕

TRIGGER WARNING: gendered violence & abortion mentioned Awwww, thank you for the ‘saurs! 🫶🏽😍🫶🏽 Now I have Queen Latifah in my head! 😂 Of course there are pricks in every demo!!!! It’s just that where I am, Canberra, Australia, people are occasionally fake, but not vicious or cruel. While on Reddit: In generic subs people know nothing about me. So there’s no opportunity to get personal. While in other ASD subs: I get attacked for being the ‘wrong’ kind of autistic. I get attacked for my trauma. I get attacked for having survived insane genders violence (lost an eye in the process), and get told I ‘asked for it.’ I get told I should’ve been aborted for the better of humanity…. My smilies are offensive. My syntax is offensive. My English isn’t good enough. My paragraphs are too long. I’m anti-autistic cause I do not believe autism is an exude to punch your partner…. I explained why and my surviving my ex husband who wanted me dead and cost me my better eye : I’m “batshit crazy.” …. Happy for them to downvote, don’t care. But this full-on tearing into exactly where it hurts? Cause I’m not like that person…? 😳 And I cannot for the life of me work out why!!!! If ppl think ‘gaaaawd,’ that’s perfectly fine!!! They can just scroll past! It’s what I do. 😊 But for some reason there’s a ‘subset’ of us (not all!!!) in other subs who are just not scrolling past. And are insanely harmful. And I cannot understand for the life of me why random autistics would leap out of me from nowhere. Again: the majority of autistics is lovely. But when the toxic ones cost you 10h+ to recuperate from…. then I can’t help but thinking there’s something wrong with the picture! Shouldn’t we all stick together, or just ignore the ones we can’t stand….? Other autistics (maybe lower support needs, idk?) seem to ‘use’ their intuitive knowledge of knowing EXACTLY where to strike in ways NT couldn’t. Cause they wouldn’t really know. Other autistics do know and strike in ways that are horrendous!!! Autistics prolly all have an appreciation of how challenging it is to have doors slammed in your face and yelled at you don’t belong for being too different. So why would autistics then turn around and tell another autistic _”You are not like us, go away!!!!”_ Obviously no two autistics are ever exactly alike. Globally… I’d expect there to be huge variance amongst autistics. OR: Are all other autistics alike, and I haven’t gotten the memo? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Yeah, some autistics can be incredibly vindictive, for one reason or another. Just look at the ideological divide between the two extremes of the spectrum.

Go enjoy the NT subs if the autism-focused ones aren't a good resource for you. 

Why, because I’m not like you…? Have high support needs…? Longer clarification above, at https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/ldbxOkQ2dj

>Why, because I’m not like you…? No... because the autism-focused subs aren't a good resource for you, as outlined by you in your original post. You prefer to be around NT's, so the obvious solution is to avoid autism subs.

I’d very much like more contact with likeminded people. But I prefer to be free from harm. Why is it so outrageous to expect that from autism subs….? OR: If you think someone severely autistic with complex trauma cannot be in autism subs and not suffer harm: However unhinged at the time and poorly worded, wouldn’t I have a point…?

This is not written in a way inwhich your point is particularly comprehensible

Sorry, really not in a good place right now: I’m trying to figure out why SOME people in generic ASD groups cannot just either accept me with ALL my diversity factors OR(!) scroll past….? What is it with out of nowhere (!) when I am sharing my experience, people go completely apeshit on me….? Isn’t it common sense that not all of us are alike? Why do, of all people, other autistics go to crazy harmful lengths to harm me… when, really: NOT-BEING-LIKE whoever is losing their marbles isn’t offensive….? Who else, if not myself, am I supposed to do…? Why can’t some (interestingly mostly male) not just accept I’m not life them….? 😢 Thanks for any pointers!

I think you are feeling persecuted by things that maybe aren’t necessarily actually personal… i don’t think it has to do with your diversity factors, looking at your post history it has to do with your unscientific claims. You don’t articulate things in a clear manner

I am sharing ***MY*** experience! Are you saying that I can only be who or what is peer reviewed….?! I am sorry English is my fourth language, and my cultural background is very different. If it has nothing to do with my raft of diversity factors, what do you expect me to do: become a native speaker of English? Or get a textbook and start masking the autism chapter….? Honest question: What would you expect me to be or do…? What unscientific claims have I made…? Cause I am sharing MY experience. The last scientific claims I have made was literally a post with like a dozen links….? **** Partner helped with formatting, pls lemme know if it’s better / more accessible and sorry again!!! **** Everything else, I think I covered here https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/ldbxOkQ2dj Cheers! 🫶🏽

Why do most of your posts get downvoted on NT subs then

Sorry, I don’t understand ….? Are you saying my posts in ASD subs aren’t downvoted…? 😝 ***** Don’t care about votes, not a Reddit karma farmer. Downvotes don’t hurt me. Being destroyed by some others NDs does. See https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/ldbxOkQ2dj

You've come into a higher and high needs autistic community and.....insulted autistics. You've also previously said numerous times you don't like autistics, prefer NT people, and you've also previously stated you didn't even agree with your autism diagnosis. It's not a shocker that people react the way they do.....when you insult us. When talking about toxicity and then pointing at 'other autistics' 'other subs', perhaps when the common denominator is you, then maybe it's just - you. You are the common denominator.

How is my existence offensive to anyone …? ***MY*** experience is JUST that! Can you please explain to me why my existence is sooooo offensive to SOME(!) they can just scroll on….? I just scroll past people who aren’t like me and whom I have nothing in common with. I manage to NOT gaslight them, NOT berate them, NOT claim they were against me and all autistics etc. etc. I don’t expect anyone in particular to reply to me. So, rather than b ring horrendously triggering and harmful: If SOME in ASD communities can’t accept me for who I am, why can’t they just scroll past… ?!?

Consult with a mental health professional

Mostly because your thread is coming off as being extremely condescending to the sub's regulars and you also expect them to have the answers to most of your answers...while lowkey insulting them. As for the problems that you're facing,being closed-minded isn't entirely an "ASD vs NT" thing. Granted, having ASD might actually exacerbate it. But I think that it's more along the lines of it being communication issue between several parties than just blaming it on one particular thing

You existing isn't what's offensive. You actively shitting on everyone here is what's offensive. You came here specifically to call us all toxic. That's mean. People don't take kindly to other people insulting them in what's supposed to be a safe space. To reiterate, you existing isn't what people are mad about. Your actions are what people are mad about.

Um... That's a lot. Ok so I have a theory... When I was a kid, I was so annoying, I was a complete nightmare for 2 other in-retrospect-definitely-autistic kids in my class in primary school. I never stopped talking, I fidgeted constantly, and other people weren't interested in what I want to talk about. NTs found me a bit annoying but really it was the other autistic kids who were most affected by it, one of whom was particularly quiet, and the other who had more emotional than behavioural issues. Have you considered that maybe your being extremely expressive and talking a lot about yourself might be a bit much for many autistic people? In sensory terms (too much noise or movement), but also too much information/too many opinions at once, without giving others a turn to speak or have input on the conversation topic. Neurotypicals and other autistic people most likely don't find the topic of your life story and identity as interesting as you do, and it's important as you get life experience to do what you can to pick up on cues that you might be boring someone with your special interest. For NTs, some examples are if they're quiet and not asking any follow-up questions, or if they seem to be looking at other people or making a weird face (they might be signalling to others asking for help to get away from the situation). They also don't usually feel guilty about lying about a reason to leave. Whereas you might feel more rejected by other autistic people because frankly, we are more likely to outright tell you that you're annoying or too loud/obnoxious. It's also quite possible that where neurotypicals disagree with an opinion you express, they don't see any merit in saying so or have any interest in debating that, whereas autistic people might feel it's necessary to stay and try to correct you on it. Babe there comes a point where if everyone else seems to be the problem, you need to consider whether your own behaviour is part of the problem. It doesn't mean you're a bad person or don't deserve friends, and it doesn't even mean that your opinions are wrong. But I can think of a metaphor here about wood or sticks. There can't be friction or sparks of fire without two sticks scraping up against each other, and there can't be friction in communication or sparks of an argument without two personalities scraping up against each other. If one stick was covered in velvet instead of being raw wood, you wouldn't get the friction or the sparks. And if your personality/behaviour was smooth and easy to get along with, then that would work like the velvet and prevent friction & sparks no matter how rough the other person's is. Neurotypicals usually have velvet on their stick, so with you: usually no friction and sparks! Your personality isn't velvet though, it's a bit of a rough wood. It's the same with other autistic people, many of us have quite rough wood too, so together we can make a lot of sparks. Maybe you can find some strategies to either put some velvet on your metaphorical stick, or to gradually smooth out your stick. Or perhaps you need to find some velvety autistic people or stick with the velvety neurotypicals!

I was trying to figure out how to word what you’ve said and couldn’t so I’d like to piggy back onto this! @op in tandem with everything that Walouisi has said, NT people also tend to give a bunch of grace to people who are neuro diverse as long as they know that you are. So if you’re talking about yourself a lot or say something offensive, a NT person is a lot more likely to let it slide if you’re obviously on the spectrum.

i really really am not saying this with mean intentions, but i couldn't read/process most of what you said because of all the text formatting, i'm sorry. but from context in the comments i have a general idea of what you wrote. i'm not really sure what to say but i'm sorry that you feel bad..

Had my partner help me fixing the formatting, sorry about that!!! Let me know if there’s still inaccessible bits, pls!!! 🫶🏽🥰🫶🏽 ***** Lengthy apology for how I crashed in here at: https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/YA0aXizobi

This post is a mess. The formatting, grammar, sentence structure. What does this have to do with autism?? I don't see anything in here related to autistic symptoms or dealing with being autistic. Was the point to just come here and hate on everyone who is autistic? This reads a lot like "look at me! Look at me! Pay attention to me! I'm special!" And if you have tons of NT friends, and no social problems -- you don't meet the criteria for autism. Social skills deficiency & difficulty in making/keeping friends is a *requirement* for diagnosis. Maybe you just aren't autistic and that's why you don't understand autistics.

Sorry, I think it could be counterproductive addressing what may have been a misunderstanding ? ***** Lengthy apology for how I crashed in here at: https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/YA0aXizobi

This is the weirdest post and I am not convinced it was not generated by ai

What covers "toxic" for you exactly?

I’m not remotely surprised that a psych said you were ‘detrimental’ to autistic people. Even your post scrambled my one brain cell. The only toxicity I’m detecting is you. You sound exhausting and attention seeking.

I dont doubt your diagnosis or anything, because I literally don't know you, but diagnostic criteria includes communication and social deficits, they are accually the main thing with autism, without them it's not autism

How do you determine a ‘deficit’ in a population of 1?

You're not a population of 1. It doesn't matter how unique you feel your diversity characteristics make you, everybody is unique, many of us share most of not all of the diversity characteristics you've talked about, and a range of other ones which you don't have. Not to mention our own interesting upbringings etc. The impacts of those things can be taken into account when assessing your deficits, but they do not trump the diagnostic criteria. If your position was correct then everybody would be a population of 1 and it would be impossible to ever diagnose anyone with anything whatsoever, including autism. Psychologists who diagnose autism are professionally trained to take cultural factors, mental health, disability, trauma, life experiences etc into account. It's not something you need to obsess about. All over Reddit you seem to respond to people who have an issue with your behaviour by gloating that you're different and unique and they only have a problem with you because they're not used to interacting with someone so different. You are not "the other". I literally tick every diversity box you do and I don't use that to accuse others of discrimination when they point out issues with my behaviour. I promise you, you are not a fraction as unique as you think you are. You do not get to have special rules applied to you or special exceptions made for you, you do not get to excuse your bad behaviour as a misunderstood product of your background. Not even one of my top 50 most interesting people I've met properly have been interesting or unique purely because of their medical differences/cultural background etc, or even how they dress. They're interesting because of their personalities, behaviours, hobbies and careers. They're people like a kooky local woman who feeds jam sandwiches to wild foxes, a magician, a kinky multi-millionaire, a paralyzed athlete, a comedian, a surgeon, a rationalist with a love of psychedelics etc. PLEASE stop being so focused on your background and diversity characteristics in building your sense of your own identity, there is absolutely no way that it's healthy.

I am NOT focussed on my XYZ. By claiming I couldn’t be …. claiming it were possible too do what professionals struggle with etc etc YOU are the one making it about ‘me.’ ****** If you don’t wanna talk about me, neither do I. I am trying to explain to you, if you don’t wanna listen, the STOP claiming things about me. Cause, sorry: My INITIAL(!) assessment was around $10k. 2 psychologists, 2 psychiatrists, —- At additional costs: 4 or 5 Occupational Therapists, 4(think?) Social Workers, Neurologist, Neuropsychologist Still have others lined up! **** I have been assessed since 2018, the initial diagnosis. I am still(!) being assessed . I am going with what they are saying. Cause they are the pros, and I don’t know better than them! 😉 —— You think you know better than they do…? **** Oh, bugger. Didn’t wanna be THIS clear: Last night over 2 dozens autistics changed up on me, over the course of hours. Flooded me with horrific messages. Some very expressly wanting me to not survive. —— Do you still think I am at fault, cause I must’ve asked for conduct which would be a crime punishable by up to 7 years (from memory) if they were in AU ….? **** Sorry, dude: I am trying to explain how horrific last night was. DANGEROUSLY horrific. The vibe that wanting other autistics dead were EVER acceptable: Berky much getting to me. Sorry, too soon! Thank you for your contribution. It’s WAAAYYYY too soon and I don’t wanna get to where I was last night Since you don’t wanna talk about me either: We are in agreement: ***LET’S NOT!!***

I reiterate my previous comment. May be worth rereading it when you feel better.

So do I! I go by medical advice: you claim I was making up shït. I am trying to explain to the best of my ability: You claim I were self- focussed and keep on attacking me. —— —> sorry, I don’t enjoy gaslighting and do not wish to engage on that kind of dynamic.

u/Walouisi never attacked you, questioned your diagnosis, or claimed you were making anything up. I think you seriously misread her comment which is why she asked you to re-read it when you're feeling better. None of your response was even a little bit related to her comment, which is how I know that you misread it.

Can you both pls stop? Thank you

I can see why people don't think you're safe to others in these spaces.

I never said you made anything up. It's disappointing that you won't read the actual comment.

Hey so I made a different reply on your post already but I wanted to add a few more things after thinking a bit. First I wanted to clarify that I get the impression that you talk about yourself and your experiences, conditions etc as a special interest, because a huge proportion of your posts and comments are about that, and I think this is the more generous interpretation over assuming that you're obsessed with yourself or have a personality disorder or something. It's okay for it to be a special interest, but it's also important to have awareness of when it's appropriate to talk about it. In your post, you listed: - synaesthesia - autism (which you disagree with) - ADHD - culturally diverse - speak many languages - disabled - gender diverse - ethically diverse - complex trauma - interesting family background - abuse survivor - unusual spirituality - gifted - learning disability - dysautonomia - sensory differences/poor interoception - high support needs This may feel unique to you, but I promise it's not as "shocking" or confronting as you seem to feel it is. **Literally every single one of these also applies, for example, to me**- I just don't spend my time discussing it as a priority. Many people, particularly autistic people, tick a lot of these boxes, and I don't think it's totally healthy to make these things your personality, or base your idea of yourself around what seems to make you special, rather than around things like your hobbies/interests and how you treat others. Hopefully you can understand that when you bring these things up a lot, it may rub people the wrong way not BECAUSE of the things you mention (i.e. you're too unusual for them) but because that behaviour may itself be quite inappropriate. If you reply to somebody with a comment which is 90% about yourself and your experiences and background, it might make the person feel that you're trying to one-up them in some way by talking about yourself rather than actively listening. In a forum for autistic people, a post where you describe these things about yourself at length might make people feel that you're trying to communicate that nobody else is as interesting/troubled/etc as you, and so you deserve priority space in a community designed to support autistic people, despite that you don't believe your diagnosis. Personally I do get the sense that you're autistic, though I obviously can't make a diagnosis, and I've been there with not believing it, it took me until my 20s to accept that I'm autistic. I didn't recognise any of my own communication/social issues. But nonetheless, autism spaces might not be right for you until you're able to come to terms with the diagnosis. At which point it would probably helpful to your interactions if you can reign in this tendency to primarily talk about yourself. I just **very much** doubt that your difficulty getting along with many other autistic people is because they're confronted by the "other", as you put it. Your diversity factors are meaningful to you and inform your own understanding of yourself and your experiences, and that's important. But they're not as unusual as you think, and they're not what I see people responding negatively to whatsoever. It's your delivery. Nobody thinks that your background invalidates their diagnoses or that your existence undermines autistic people- they may think that the things you say are invalidating or that your behaviour is undermining. They definitely think that the way you prioritise bringing up your own diversity factors over universal autism symptoms (or possible lack thereof) in autism subreddits, is you commandeering a space which is intended to support autistic people with their autism symptoms. I understand that your symptoms are informed by, influenced by, and intertwined with, everything else which makes you, *you*, but that's something to be unpacked as we go in a collaborative way, otherwise it's impossible to progress from your starting point ("my autism is extremely complexified by my background") to where we need to go ("let's help each other with our symptoms"). It sounds like the autistic psychologist felt your behaviour is detrimental to autistic people because, although I 100% agree that culture and personal background/experiences certainly needs to be taken into account when assessing for autism, a diagnosis hinges on particular symptoms which are present no matter your background. How those symptoms *present* might change based on culture and background, but they're still there, and the psychologist must have felt that you were pushing a framework where things get so nebulous and unclear that an autism diagnosis becomes impossible to make. I have to agree with her that most likely you have some significant blind spots about your own social skills. It's perfectly possible to excel at public speaking and have a thriving social life, and still have dogshit social skills in practice. Again, people are not reacting negatively to you because you're particularly different or because of your diversity factors. Quite a few people here have pointed out that your delivery was very poor- a lot of talking about yourself, combined with some rude generalisations about autistic people (or at least those who don't like your behaviour). I can see in your post history that your delivery is generally pretty damn poor. People (including myself) found themselves disliking you as they read your post because of how much you talked about yourself and complained about others (and yes, I know it was a meltdown, not the best time to make a post). Then your post also repeatedly says that the people who dislike you must have a problem with your diversity factors and how "different" you are, which isn't the case, and that makes people feel judged and dislike you even more, because they know that it's your behaviour they dislike, not your identity. It's triggering, because it makes us feel misunderstood, judged and frustrated that you're projecting onto us, prior to any interaction at all, that we are intolerant, instead of considering how your own behaviour makes others feel. In addition, your open delight in feeling or seeming special/unusual based on things which aren't half as unique as you think, can give off the impression of being obsessed with how special/unusual you feel you are, which is extremely unappealing. If you want to solve this communication issue you're having with so many autistic people in autism spaces, it's absolutely crucial that you try to understand that you are not "different to 99.9% of autistics", many of us share most or all of the unusual elements of your personal background, plus PLENTY of our own, we just don't bring it up in every comment or write essays about it. And even where you are different to others, it is NOT your differences which are causing tension. It is your BEHAVIOUR, which includes but is not limited to black and white thinking/generalisations, projection, a lack of self reflection, poor listening skills, and incessantly talking about how unusual (you believe) you are. Ironically, this is precisely why I'm leaning towards you indeed being autistic- these are all major social skills deficits that you seem almost completely unaware of. But you're still responsible for your behaviour and for making an effort to get along with others.

This is a great comment! Thanks for taking the time and effort to write it.

To get a better understanding I took a look at some of the posts you had referred to and just...wow. I really understand more now. You viciously attacked the autistic boyfriend who accidentally slapped his girlfriend - from behind and not even seeing her/facing her, when she tried to restrain him during a meltdown by putting her arms around his neck. By her own words, he was trying to get her off of him - facing away from her because she tried to restrain him by his neck from behind - and she got slapped on the side of the head. You somehow turned that into him punching her. You called him a domestic abuser. You insisted that he should be able to control himself, even in the midst of a meltdown, and that 'being autistic isn't an excuse'. You then went on to refer to most male autistics as incels. You came so hard for that young man, who so obviously felt horrible - but did you care about the impact your dozens of long, hateful comments would have on HIM? But then upset when autistics come to his defense and claim victim status????????? You pressured his gf to LEAVE HIM because he's a domestic abuser that will wind up killing her??????????? Nah, that's not okay. You 'other' yourself away from autistics, and then use your own othering of an ENTIRE group of disabled people to play victim. You call yourself 'severely autistic' all the time, while openly stating you don't have the symptoms that are part of the diagnostic criteria. And also while maintaining a romantic relationship and getting multiple degrees, and learning multiple languages, and participating in politics heavily and etc etc etc. My dear, that is NOT what severe autism looks like and it's honestly offensive af. Checked some other of your comments/posts. You are xenophobic toward Americans and insult them regularly - usually in the vein of calling them stupid and small minded. You are racist toward white people - a LOT. You don't like women, in your own words, and don't like autistic males, and say you prefer non autistic men as friends. You insist that when people are experiencing very typical autistic traits that they should just 'try harder' or remove themselves from their own relationships. But the way you go after autistic men is revolting. I LOVE my autistic brothers and you inspire every bit of protectiveness in me that I have for them - to protect them from YOU. Stop attacking them. Use journaling or whatever you need to release your venom toward autistic males away from those autistic males. They don't deserve that. They don't deserve for you to try to break them and make them feel 'othered' or worse than they already do. You say you have four Master degrees and speak 12 languages - but yet are too 'blind' to respond to an email from the disability office, yet you seem to do fine responding at novella length to people online all the time, and seem to have directly responded to comments in this post just fine. And driving?? Yeah, the stories don't add up. Not at all. When you get called out for poor behavior and bullying, you run to vision problems and autism, while also detailing how you don't suffer from autism's main symptoms and challenges. You claim to have 'TONNES' of friends - all NT of course, because 'autism ick'. This post is far from the first time you have gone after autistics. You claim to have a long lasting romantic relationship with zero issues. Life long friendships with tons of people, with no issues. But also don't know anyone that can read an email for you???? If you can access Reddit the way you do, email is also accessible. You consistently claim to be 'so different, so unique' that nobody could EVER possibly diagnose you and that no mere mortal could every understand you. So different and so unique that no mere mortal could ever possibly understand you. The thing is though, you really aren't unique at all. There truly isn't anything that you list that makes you so unbelievably unique that aren't experienced by literal millions and millions of people. I have met SO MANY people who are far more unique, interesting, and face much larger challenges. You are so un-unique. All that said, every human deserves to enjoy as much healthy as possible. If being confronted by other redditors for attacking autistic men has your health plummeting and emergency services being called, then it may be MUCH healthier to stay away from Reddit. Possibly healthier for Reddit also. There are some good NPD subs that may be of benefit also; check them out. You may find you have a lot more in common there than in the autism groups that you simply cannot identify with since you state openly you don't suffer from the things we do or face the same challenges.

This is genuinely disturbing. NPD or pathological liar would be my guess, too. Complete inability to take any accountability, self obsession/feeling special and superior combined with a victim complex, total lack of insight into her own behaviour, cruel and judgemental, ignoring any facts which challenge her narrative in any way, constantly changing the subject, claiming she's so unique (lol) that she can call herself autistic despite admitting she has none of the symptoms relevant to a diagnosis (because those don't apply to her of course) etc. And then there's all the clear inconsistencies which indicate some big lies, like how she has an amazing social life and does politics and public speaking while being housebound and "severely autistic", writes heavily formatted essays about herself but is too blind to answer a work email, etc. It's like she just ping pongs between two fantasies of herself where she's a hero conquering the world and so special, and a perpetual victim who can never be in the wrong because reasons. Nothing has ever screamed narcissist so loud to me before. If she's autistic then she's also an incredibly toxic human and has patently very low support needs (if any).

[удалено]

Christ the mods need to ban you.

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i can get why people dont like you although i get it, i hate when people are overly friendly

From the sounds of this post and your comments, it doesn't seem like you're really aware of your own social communication deficits. And this is likely causing you some big problems. Your post history as well kinda confirms it. NTs tend to have more tolerance towards people who they can clearly see are "different". You may actually be making some of them uncomfortable and a lot of them won't ever say anything to your face bcus they feel like they can't. But a lot of autistics don't usually have that kind of filter and will just say what they're thinking to your face, which also seems to causing a lot of problems. It's kinda interesting cus your online presence seems kinda similar to a few in real life autistics I've seen and how they interact in real life. And it's interesting bcus they love socialising but are not aware of their own deficits and the fact that they're actually kinda bad at it.

Thanks for you post!! 😊🫶🏽😊 >>*«From the sounds of this post and your comments, it doesn't seem like you're really aware of your own social communication deficits. And this is likely causing you some big problems.»* I’m communication in a foreign language. In my fourth language. In an alien culture. I’ve said all along that poses MASSIVE(!) communication barriers!!!! 😭 Like… you wouldn’t believe!!! 😒 NT Swabians in AU have pretty much the same difficulties though Do you think autism could still be a communication barrier somehow…? — Are cultural and linguistic barriers always a *”deficit”*? If hyperlexic NT were dropped in Kazakhstan: would they have a *’social communication deficit?’* Dunno why, I feel a ‘deficit’ is innate to someone, sth they’re born with. Alien culture and foreign language a ‘deficit?’ Cause that’d mean all NT in non-native environments had this ASD-aspect? ***** >> *«**NTs tend to have more tolerance** towards people who they can clearly see are "different"»* ⬆️ exactly my point!!! 😊 Generally(!) When I say something like > *I think / I feel / I believe / in this hypothetical, I would …* ###When NTs feel that sounds ‘kinda cringe:’ They give me the benefit of the doubt and ask if I meant what they heard. OR: NTs engage in arguments on the issue! Eg, asking where the person was coming from and trying to understand their perspective —— ###Autistics: WAAAYYY more likely to misunderstand, that’s part of the gig. But far more unlikely to ensure it wasn’t a misunderstanding. Also more likely to + not try and understand the other’s perspective, + not engage on the issue, + more likely to have preconceived notions, + jump straight to personal attacks —— Eg, Low-needs Jack hits his NT gf Jill during meltdown. Jill posts on Reddit (as far as we know Jack wasn’t involved in the discussion) > *High-needs abuse/assault/violence survivor Leila says she wouldn’t tolerate being hit, meltdown didn’t change the impact on her* THEN Leila is _personally_ attacked by high-needs for being horrid to autistics ***am I imagining the double standard…?*** Sorry, genuinely wondering whether it’s all in my head. But how’s *«I would not be hit!»* unacceptable, but attacking a high needs autistic is….? I’m really confused … 😕 **** >> *«You may actually be making some of them uncomfortable and a lot of them won't ever say anything to your face bcus they feel like they can't.»* I’m 46. Migrated 17,000km (11,000mi) away, from Germany to Australia in 2006/07. If I made them uncomfortable, I don’t think they’d still be in touch. Wouldn’t work their schedules around 8-10h times diff to arrange calls. Or, the friends I made in AU: They wouldn’t proactively contact me, offering to drive detours to give me lifts…. —> if I made them uncomfortable, I don’t think they’d proactively go out of their way to include me? ***** >> *«But a lot of autistics don't usually have that kind of filter and will just say what they're thinking to your face, which also seems to causing a lot of problems.»* The no-filter is very close to my cultural norm. 😝 I think the prob is more, as s/o else pointed out, the B/W thinking! As in: not accepting there’s more than one truth. And the not-checking you understood correctly. ***AND*** the personal judgments, personal attacks (rather than engaging in the issue). Could this be a frustration-thing? As in, autistics being more likely to feel frustration when I think/feel/believe differently, then out of frustration getting personal? **** >> *«It's kinda interesting cus your online presence seems kinda similar to a few in real life autistics I've seen and how they interact in real life. And it's interesting bcus they love socialising but are not aware of their own deficits and the fact that they're actually kinda bad at it.»* THAT is really interesting!! What are the signs/indicators they’re bad at it? Would love to know, so I can figure out whether I’m genuinely loved … or if people just put up with me to be polite! ***** ###Summarising from above: How would you go about figuring out whether communication barriers are cultural, linguistic, or autistic? Are cultural and linguistic barriers always a *social communication _deficit_* ? Could autistics be more likely to feel frustration when I think/feel/believe differently, then out of frustration lash out and get personal? Am I imagining the double-standard example above? What are the indicators NT put up with s/o rather than genuinely liking/loving them? ^({trying to make my posts more accessible, I summarised the Q at the bottom — please let me know if that’s more confusing or making things worse!!!}) **** 🫶🏽😊🫶🏽 thank you for your lovely post!!!! Really appreciate assistance figuring this out!!🫶🏽😊🫶🏽

I think one of the issues - and it was certainly true of me - is that autistic people have B&W thinking. Also, young people tend to be like that as well. It’s very attractive - wouldn’t it be wonderful if everything was very easy to categorize? It would certainly make life easier. But the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve lost my self righteous indignation because things are always more complicated.

Interesting! I, personally, wouldn’t know. I’ve always been so ‘waaaayyyyy’ out there, or maybe the synaesthesia: I see a million shades of grey, but neither black nor white!!! I CANNOT do multiple choice exams!!! Insta-overwhelmed, massive meltdown, under the table in a foetal position!!! Cause for **ANY** of the four options I instantly have a special case for each. Then my mind is flooded with more and more examples for each of the four …. 🤯 Give me the EXACT same question without multiple choice options, the a seer is obvious to me! 🤪 ***** Had to take one uni to the federal Human Rights Commission, cause the School of Psychology(!) wouldn’t let me sit the exact same exams without multiple choice options. They argued it were to my disadvantage to NOT have me disassociating under the table. Ended up changing unis, cause after they had the law explained to them they got …. ‘ick.’ The other uni the School of Psychology insisted I should >> _«just learn like everybody else…»_ At which point I decided Psychology was just too many ableist, ignorant people for me. Too toxic and unhealthy. So transferred to Law. HALLELUJAH!!! 😍 Law…. the love of my life! He is the best man ever…. but he can’t compete with thousands of pages of Administrative Law! 😅 ***** That’s a good point you make though!!! Binary categories elude me!!! I *THRIVE* in complex systems! Ideally multiple ones and intersecting, AND multi-layered! Ask me something like… Checking the Civil Aviation Act, all Regulations made under it AND all current Instruments issued under it for integrity issues, cross-referencing it with Torts and potential liability problems in all States and Territories, under federal law, as well as in international airspace — and streamlining it all! •gasp• OMG!!!! You wouldn’t see me for about 10-14 months, I’d sleep in the library and as little and possible …. and if nobody brings me food and drinks I’ll die veeeeery happy! I wouldn’t utter a word either, ‘cept for the _’WHAT?’_ should anyone talk to me without the house being on fire. As the sign on the library door says: >> _«Do NOT interrupt unless the house is on fire…. if it is, DO INTERRUPT STAT so I can grab as many books and docs as possible, as well as the best LEGO sets!»_ ***** Sorry, tangent. So wanna continue my law degree!!! 😭

I wasn’t able to process the writing towards the end (not your fault, that’s on me) but I did see the list of experiences you have that you wrote down, and that you’re venting your frustrations with some in the autistic community. I get that this was more relating and venting to us, and not directed at us. I do relate to a lot of your experiences. It’s a lot to live with at once, and it does get overwhelming. It is isolating when people speak over us, and argue with us over our own personal experiences. I can imagine that’s doubly frustrating when white and socioeconomicly privileged autistics speak over you as well. We’re here for you, and thank you for coming here. You are welcome here.

I was researching something else and came across this paper. I know you say you love sugar and eat a lot of sugar, so thought this would be of interest to you in relation to dysautonomia. [https://www.hindawi.com/journals/aurt/2011/129795/](https://www.hindawi.com/journals/aurt/2011/129795/)

OMG!!! OMG!!!! OMG!!!! 🤩 Dude…. I love you!!! 🫶🏽 *[not literally, but still!!!]* That is soooooo awesome, thank you!!! Do you mind if I share it to what’s prolly my favourite ASD-related group? Cause heaps of people there would absolutely LOVE this!!! 😍

Share away!! Read it a few times; they had near total symptom relief by removing sugar, gluten/wheat, milk. And I'd probably do some vitamin therapy for the thiamine issue. I take methylated vitamins, particular methylated B vitamins because I can't synthesize them properly due to MTHFR variances (particularly folate). They help so much. I use Pure Therapro Rx Methyl Multi and their Bioactive B12 drops. HUGE difference. GREAT manufacturer with very high standards and cold processing. Just sharing what's helped me a lot. And with supplements, if you go with a bad manufacturer it's just pissing money away (literally). With these, they are so well absorbed by pee doesn't turn yellow (and if it starts to, I know my body has absorbed all it needs, it's pretty cool). I thought it was interesting the subjects of that paper had an 'addictive relationship with sugar'. And the wheat/gluten. Makes sense because it activates the same area of the brain that heroin does. (I also think that contributes a lot to 'safe foods' being white foods that are typically high in gluten and added sugars).

[https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13668-021-00373-1](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13668-021-00373-1) [https://www.hindawi.com/journals/ecam/2009/246063/](https://www.hindawi.com/journals/ecam/2009/246063/) [https://static.webmedcentral.com/article\_view/1854](https://static.webmedcentral.com/article_view/1854) [https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Derrick-Lonsdale/publication/277123556\_Exaggerated\_Autonomic\_Asymmetry\_A\_Clue\_To\_Nutrient\_Deficiency\_Dysautonomia/links/556318ca08ae8c0cab335ccf/Exaggerated-Autonomic-Asymmetry-A-Clue-To-Nutrient-Deficiency-Dysautonomia](https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Derrick-Lonsdale/publication/277123556_Exaggerated_Autonomic_Asymmetry_A_Clue_To_Nutrient_Deficiency_Dysautonomia/links/556318ca08ae8c0cab335ccf/Exaggerated-Autonomic-Asymmetry-A-Clue-To-Nutrient-Deficiency-Dysautonomia) [https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=DLpvDgAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=dysautonomia+and+sugar&ots=94ekqo156K&sig=hhgyJjHMBFKzdjNBRpAZh4jHBis#v=onepage&q=dysautonomia%20and%20sugar&f=false](https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=DLpvDgAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=dysautonomia+and+sugar&ots=94ekqo156K&sig=hhgyJjHMBFKzdjNBRpAZh4jHBis#v=onepage&q=dysautonomia%20and%20sugar&f=false) There's some good info in these as well. Enjoy!!

To me it sounds like your psych didn't understand you and wasn't listening well. Some autistic people can confuse their own specific experiences as an autistic person with the lives of all autistic people. I see that even with specialists and researchers who should have a scientific eye, but are often prejudiced by their own experiences. Some people are close-minded and when they see an autistic person not acting like their preconceived beliefs, they dismiss that person as faking or something akin to "bad representation" irl. In other words the more different you are from what they expect, the more excuses they look for to exclude you. Rather than include you and change their categories.

Thanks! 🫶🏽🥰🫶🏽 It wasn’t ‘my’ psych!!! A random in an ASD-Reddit. Knowing nothing about me… Emphasising their 9 years of studying psychology…. Then TEARING in!! I do autism wrong, I am harmful to autistics … I do Swabian wrong (a culture they knew nothing about, had never heard of, by the sound of it). Go back to where you came from Not one of us. WHO I am was devaluing other autistics My existence was detrimental to autistics. Someone there in I should’ve been aborted …. Bit earlier I should’ve been drowned as a kid / clubbed right away…. Someone says _«I am a studied psych ….»_ and suddenly a RAFT of people jump on, messaging … some messages far too graphic to put here …. 😔 What the ….? **** RATIONALLY(!) I know it’s not really about me. EMOTIONALLY it makes no difference!!! When it’s a feeding frenzy and you get bombarded by horrendous notifications: Sorry, in NT reddits I’ve never had that, nor has anyone I know!! Cause global NT Reddits: there are far too many ppl. And MOST(!) NTs couldn’t be arsed to form cliques to gang on user XYZ! You poke each other’s buttons, tease … but there isn’t a “she should be glad she was assaulted …” On the RARE(!) occasion that happens, heaps of users tear that person a new one. They don’t jump on the let’s-torture-her-bandwagon !! ***** I don’t understand the horrendous prolonged, relentless viciousness in OTHER(!) autism subs! Why…..? To what end….? There CANNOT be this many autistics who genuinely enjoy torturing others….? Like, just checked: 11 autistic friends have left a range of autism subs for exactly that reason! 😢 Thank you, appreciate your kind words and your generosity in overlooking how I entered!! 🫶🏽🥰🫶🏽 ***** Lengthy apology for how I crashed in here at: https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/YA0aXizobi

Sounds like we should be friends. (I appreciate a lot of the comments in response. They demonstrate much of what I have learned and come to love about this group.)

•huggles• Awwww, so sorry to hear!! 😔 ****** Always happy to meet people!!! 🤩 Barring visceral meltdowns on the ground: I think I’m mostly alright! 😊 And quite easy going! Anyone who doesn’t intentionally and cruelty drive me over the cliff and won’t stop when asked: Accept me, I accept you! I might be HUGELY critical of your view on something. But as long as you’re not harming anyone and are not eating puppies or kittens: I will defend your right to have views I disdain. However much I may loathe your view on something: We still have a LOT more in common than sets us apart… … yep, one of my dogs was just licking his dïck. You and I have more in common that separates us! 😅 We might never see eye to eye on one or the other issue, but loathing your views on something is ***VERY*** different from not accepting you, let alone personally attacking you!!! Somehow who always agrees with me …. would honestly be boring as hell! Might as well talk to my mirror image. 😉 ***** The people least like ourselves are the ones we stand to learn most from! 😊