It's a Michelangelo / DaVinci mashup! Much more clever than a mere fig leaf.
The Creation of Adam (from the Sistine Chapel) shows up surprising often in the houses of people with delusions of grandeur (God's hand touching Adam's).
I give them points for the Renaissance mash-up - not for execution. Although I've seen worse.
Finding a genius to paint your frescoes is probably harder than it used to be, unless you are the Pope of Bucks.
A bright light and a bit of paper would be enough to trace the outline on the wall without the need for anything high-tech, hard to come by, or even terribly thoughtful.
Great example of a house being decorated to someoneās very niche taste to the point that it becomes tough to sell.
For most folks the interior will need gutted and started again. That is another Ā£100K at least I reckon.
Some of us have expensive tastes!
Itās not just paint though some of the flooring is quite niche as well. But yeh you can imagine how much tradespeople like me if Iām throwing Ā£100K around to be fair.
I think repainting it would go a long way to make it look better. I don't mind the flooring so much (hopefully they have underfloor heating?), but a cheap rug covers it too.
It looks as if a lot of the decor is just painted onto the wall I think. It's called trompe l'oeil, aka painting flat images that look like three dimensional spaces
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trompe-l%27%C5%93il](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trompe-l%27%C5%93il)
The bricks, murals, even the '3D' pillars, lamp posts plus murals look like a hand-painted job.
If that's the case, a layer of paint would cover it. I'd struggle to do it personally, because regardless of whether I liked the art or not I'd struggle to destroy something that someone clearly spent weeks/months painting
If you ask Reddit, you'd think having the walls anything other than cream/beige/grey/greige makes a house unsellable because apparently green walls are too much for a prospective buyer. This is one of the few that I've seen where I would genuinely say it would be a nightmare to sell.
This looks like my grandparents' in law's old house. If that's your taste, fine, it's your money, but holy crud it was hard to get that house sold. Like, people stipulated the furniture had to go before they would buy, even if it came free with the house.
It's bulky, it's heavy, the sticky outy bits are surprisingly sharp and any seat was designed to look good, not be comfortable. Even volunteer organizations looking for free furniture for refugees refused to accept it, because it's so hugely impractical.
The house itself was similar to this one: loads of floorspace but the layout was designed for people without small kids in their lives. Natural light only works with all the doors left open (heating bills who?) so if you want privacy or quiet, you better be on an entirely different floor than any other human being trying to live in your home. Half the flooring is little podiums of different material, because it was built to demonstrate you have no need for practical space management in your life.
That koi pond? Yeah, that's devaluing your entire property to anyone without fish who doesn't want a 3 m pit in their garden waiting to fuck up the electricity and sewer line to your home because *leaves* happened.
And where was this temple to the 1980s financial boom built? That's right, someplace meh where you could get more space for less money, which the salesperson gua-ran-teed would increase in price for having this monstrosity plonked down in the middle of it.
Do you know what - I respect their vision and creativity. Don't get me wrong, I hate every single bit of it, and would rip it all out instantly, but they had a dream and by God they made it come true! It's at least more interesting and full of personality than 99% of what is out there!
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
I think the owner is from Lithuania which kinda' makes sense.
I dunno' where they get 1.4M from. It's one of the more secluded and salubrious post codes in MK but this is probably closer to 1M.
I was shocked too. I know it's a nice spot, but I didn't realise it had houses worth this much in the area.
Their neighbour with arguably a slightly worse plot did sell for Ā£1.3m in 2023, so minus the decorating, it probably could achieve somewhere around that figure
Iām actually starting to feel quite sad at these homes people are trying to sell. They all have such *specific* taste and obviously spend a lot of money. But then they kind of ruin their places and no one wants to buy them.
I know certain groups may have their taste that is shared by others in the same community, but unless you are selling to one of those people then itās a waste. The average UK buyer will be so put off and will not see the luxury in these places, they will see the shite that they will have to pay to rip out, then pay again to replace. Andā¦ā¦thatās quite a sad thing actually.
I donāt really understand why people donāt get this. Unless they intended to never sell, but their circumstances changed?
It would take one week max to re-do it for my needs.
Assuming they take all the furniture, just a few walls repainted.
Assuming they don't, I'd maybe leave all the walls and chuck out ... one or two things only.
That's... well. I mean. Um.Ā
I am disappointed in the gym though, surely that could have had something done to bring it more in line with the rest .. of it.
I was gonna say "what's wrong with that, it looks great" then I saw the pictures of the inside and actually spat a bit of my drink
Also it's nice to see someone who plays cs\_italy (pic #3)
I kind of love it. I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I do. It's like the back street Italian restaurant in your home town that felt exotic the one time a year you went as an end of term treat.
Itās certainly more memorable than the range of āwhite and greyā properties youād otherwise see!
I feel whoever lives there currently is a big fan of Lawrence llewelllyn Bowen
They have spent SO MUCH on ornamental/polished plastering!! I think thereās even some in the gym š³! (Sorry Venetian plastering!!!) MAD! I would feel cool flouncing around in there for a bit ngl. Then remember Iām in Mk and feel sad.
Who on earth would pay well over Ā£1m to live in that monstrosity? The only positive, which isnāt really a good thing, is that if you get mould in the house it wonāt show up.
Picture 7: when you want a picture of a naked man in your study but you don't want your mates to think you're gay.
Also the guy's computer is right in front of it. Imagine being on a work Zoom with this lad and having that stare at you the whole time
It looks like someone painted Steve coogans face on the body
It's a Michelangelo / DaVinci mashup! Much more clever than a mere fig leaf. The Creation of Adam (from the Sistine Chapel) shows up surprising often in the houses of people with delusions of grandeur (God's hand touching Adam's).
Touching Adam's what?
Adam's hand. Passing the spark of consciousness or whatever. You can go to Rome to see it if you can't make it to Milton Keynes.
"You can go to Rome to see it if you can't make it to Milton Keynes" š
Hand... suuure... And that fact that he was unconscious at the time and birthed Eve a few months later is just a coincidence is it then God?
The beauty of the Vitruvian Man is the proportion - something this gets horribly wrong. Look at his chimp arms.
I give them points for the Renaissance mash-up - not for execution. Although I've seen worse. Finding a genius to paint your frescoes is probably harder than it used to be, unless you are the Pope of Bucks.
A bright light and a bit of paper would be enough to trace the outline on the wall without the need for anything high-tech, hard to come by, or even terribly thoughtful.
Itās possible thatās a side effect of the estate agents camera trying to make the room look bigger.
Money really doesnāt equate to taste.
The proof of this was sitting right there on the drivewayā¦
Exquisite is not the world I would use, despite the EA's claims. There's not a single thing I like about it.
Excruciating would be a better word.
But exquisite gets you a better scrabble score
I quite the Porsche on the driveway and the double garage, which I assume isn't themed like 16th century Florence...
Great example of a house being decorated to someoneās very niche taste to the point that it becomes tough to sell. For most folks the interior will need gutted and started again. That is another Ā£100K at least I reckon.
Most of that is Venetian plaster as well which costs a bloody fortune
You don't have to paint it in Farrow and Ball š
Some of us have expensive tastes! Itās not just paint though some of the flooring is quite niche as well. But yeh you can imagine how much tradespeople like me if Iām throwing Ā£100K around to be fair.
I think repainting it would go a long way to make it look better. I don't mind the flooring so much (hopefully they have underfloor heating?), but a cheap rug covers it too.
It looks as if a lot of the decor is just painted onto the wall I think. It's called trompe l'oeil, aka painting flat images that look like three dimensional spaces [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trompe-l%27%C5%93il](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trompe-l%27%C5%93il) The bricks, murals, even the '3D' pillars, lamp posts plus murals look like a hand-painted job. If that's the case, a layer of paint would cover it. I'd struggle to do it personally, because regardless of whether I liked the art or not I'd struggle to destroy something that someone clearly spent weeks/months painting
Gimme the sandpaper and a big roller brush. I'll fuck that shit up for you no problem.
If you ask Reddit, you'd think having the walls anything other than cream/beige/grey/greige makes a house unsellable because apparently green walls are too much for a prospective buyer. This is one of the few that I've seen where I would genuinely say it would be a nightmare to sell.
That title! I came to this sub for the houses but I stayed for the savagery.
This looks like my grandparents' in law's old house. If that's your taste, fine, it's your money, but holy crud it was hard to get that house sold. Like, people stipulated the furniture had to go before they would buy, even if it came free with the house. It's bulky, it's heavy, the sticky outy bits are surprisingly sharp and any seat was designed to look good, not be comfortable. Even volunteer organizations looking for free furniture for refugees refused to accept it, because it's so hugely impractical. The house itself was similar to this one: loads of floorspace but the layout was designed for people without small kids in their lives. Natural light only works with all the doors left open (heating bills who?) so if you want privacy or quiet, you better be on an entirely different floor than any other human being trying to live in your home. Half the flooring is little podiums of different material, because it was built to demonstrate you have no need for practical space management in your life. That koi pond? Yeah, that's devaluing your entire property to anyone without fish who doesn't want a 3 m pit in their garden waiting to fuck up the electricity and sewer line to your home because *leaves* happened. And where was this temple to the 1980s financial boom built? That's right, someplace meh where you could get more space for less money, which the salesperson gua-ran-teed would increase in price for having this monstrosity plonked down in the middle of it.
I love how Vitruvian Man is a bit risque for them.
They had the chance to hang a little frame with family pictures, and rig it up to an alarm if anyone peeked behind it and didn't take it.
Their wallpaper just makes the walls and ceiling look very damp
You can't buy class
It could be such a lovely house. They've clearly spent a lot of money on the interior, but it just looks dreadful.
Pfft, doesn't even have an amphitheatre.
Do you know what - I respect their vision and creativity. Don't get me wrong, I hate every single bit of it, and would rip it all out instantly, but they had a dream and by God they made it come true! It's at least more interesting and full of personality than 99% of what is out there!
Is the extremely low hanging chandelier over the dining table, also used to keep the food on their plates warmā¦
How much for the giant bag of Werther's Original?
Thing is, you could paint it.. and it'd be not shit. But my god people have strange taste.
Christ on a bike.
I'm simultaneously Impressed and Horrified by the Interior
Rome with a hint of Versaille.......and just a soupcon of Turkish knocking shop. /chefskiss/
This is the house equivalent of George Ezra. The face of Lady Diana Spencer and the voice of Barry White.
When you want that trashy trattoria look
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. I think the owner is from Lithuania which kinda' makes sense. I dunno' where they get 1.4M from. It's one of the more secluded and salubrious post codes in MK but this is probably closer to 1M.
I was shocked too. I know it's a nice spot, but I didn't realise it had houses worth this much in the area. Their neighbour with arguably a slightly worse plot did sell for Ā£1.3m in 2023, so minus the decorating, it probably could achieve somewhere around that figure
Iām actually starting to feel quite sad at these homes people are trying to sell. They all have such *specific* taste and obviously spend a lot of money. But then they kind of ruin their places and no one wants to buy them. I know certain groups may have their taste that is shared by others in the same community, but unless you are selling to one of those people then itās a waste. The average UK buyer will be so put off and will not see the luxury in these places, they will see the shite that they will have to pay to rip out, then pay again to replace. Andā¦ā¦thatās quite a sad thing actually. I donāt really understand why people donāt get this. Unless they intended to never sell, but their circumstances changed?
One of the most gaudy houses Iāve ever seen
You could move the palace of Versailles with the GaudĆ house as an annex to Milton Keynes and I still wouldnāt pay Ā£1.4 million to live there.
From the outside: whatās this title about? Looks normal to me. From the inside: Holy mother of god get the flamethrower.
Julius Caesar in a tracksuit!
Why is there a naked Terrence Stamp painted on the wall?
I donāt care what people say, I love it.
It would take one week max to re-do it for my needs. Assuming they take all the furniture, just a few walls repainted. Assuming they don't, I'd maybe leave all the walls and chuck out ... one or two things only.
That's... well. I mean. Um.Ā I am disappointed in the gym though, surely that could have had something done to bring it more in line with the rest .. of it.
Missed opportunity for a gladiator/amphitheatre mural there!
I really hope there is a caged beast just out of shot.
I was gonna say "what's wrong with that, it looks great" then I saw the pictures of the inside and actually spat a bit of my drink Also it's nice to see someone who plays cs\_italy (pic #3)
Soā¦ muchā¦. Trompe lāoeilā¦.
That's hilarious
This is insane š¤£
Godfather still hasnāt found a buyer then?
Interior designer has been plying their trade in Milton Keynes and Darras Hall. I think they should be swimming with the fishes.
Mom: we dont need to go to Italy. We have Italy at Home. The Italy at home....
I actually sort of like it. Good on them for pursuing a vision. Would love to stay there for a weekend. Might get a bit tiresome after that though.
I kind of love it. I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I do. It's like the back street Italian restaurant in your home town that felt exotic the one time a year you went as an end of term treat.
Iām just glad to see an interior that isnāt black, white and grey to be honest.
Itās certainly more memorable than the range of āwhite and greyā properties youād otherwise see! I feel whoever lives there currently is a big fan of Lawrence llewelllyn Bowen
They have spent SO MUCH on ornamental/polished plastering!! I think thereās even some in the gym š³! (Sorry Venetian plastering!!!) MAD! I would feel cool flouncing around in there for a bit ngl. Then remember Iām in Mk and feel sad.
Who on earth would pay well over Ā£1m to live in that monstrosity? The only positive, which isnāt really a good thing, is that if you get mould in the house it wonāt show up.
That is going to need to urgent redecoration throughout
Youād need 1.4m to paint over it all. Very unique taste.
Ahh yes- it feels like Iām on the Grand Canal
All that decor, it's too overwhelming for me
It's missing a Little Boy Weeing into the pond statue, but I guess they've got too much taste for that sort of thing.
Isn't this house, well the interior, just awful? Why and how would anybody live there? Truly horrible.
Wowsers! Thats a very specific taste. Beautifully kept garden beyond the lovely bi-fold doors.
It would cost a million to just get rid of everything. Damn that's the worst decor I have ever seen outside of a squatter hovel.
I used to live in MK. Fucking do not recommend
Worst interior design in a developed country has to go to England.