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As someone who’s autistic who definitely struggles with being socially awkward, he strikes me as autistic.
His science projects are his special interests. He always makes science jokes & puns. Tomatoes are fruit to him because they scientifically *are* fruits. I’m shit at gift giving too, so, understandable.
I think he genuinly means the things he says, e.g. about the efficiency of the hardwood double bed. He just has a really high preference for efficiency & functionality, not beauty. Or maybe he’s trying to make a weird joke...
Considering that hardwood is such a scarce resource and he probably knows that from Robin, I can see why he wonders about an inefficient use of scarce materials.
Currently kicking myself for not sticking with the forest farm...
I just went to the secret forest everyday. You get 12 pieces a day. It's tedious because you have to fit going there everyday into your schedule, but eventually you'll get 200 in no time...I did the boat, then did my stable, then did the raccoon home recently.
My current plan - it works fine when I have things to do in that quarter of teh map, and it's handy since I'm trying to butter up the wizard - but not on a mountain, desert or beach day. All my mahogany plantings will probably mature just around the time I have the boat and stable done.
At least it doesn't have a closing time though! I can fit in a visit after hours, and I try to visit the merchant cart anyway.
This!! I always thought the same, and the fact that he's so hated by people by displaying what could be seen as autistic traits tells a lot about how we can be often misunderstood 🥲
tbh i kinda don’t like him for that reason. he feels more like a caricature of autism rather than an actually autistic guy. i feel like after being with Robin for so long they’d get used to this stuff but they seem to be always fighting over dumb things
ik i’m reading too much into it and concernedape probably just wanted a logical dude but that’s just how i read the character
Tbh especially as an autist I’d keep arguing about the same stupid things with my spouse if they never accept my own opinion too. I would’ve never married them in the first place. Robin’s and Demetrius’ marriage is kind of failing because they *both* never get used to each other, their opinions and things they deem important are just too different in my opinion.
I think Demetrius, while definitely not the best person, is a rather realtistic depiction of an autistic person who hardly changes their views and simply remains as they are. A lot of autistic people are not quite like that, but some definitely are.
that’s fair, i’m also autistic for the record and just didn’t find it that relatable. i’ve gotten into enough dumb arguments that have messed with my relationships that i just know to drop it now. i can’t imagine being like 40+ and still not understanding that when arguing with your wife of so many years
Demetrius isn’t one of my favorites but I don’t dislike him. I feel like people blow his scenes/lines way out of proportion and take them so personally, especially if Sebastian is involved. People can dislike who they dislike but geez.
I feel like some people in general blow negative character traits out of proportion. Yeah some characters can be dicks at times but it would be boring if everyone in the game were always perfect and nice.
He even apologizes to the farmer after that cutscene w Maru.
He apologizes to Robin after the tomato thing and tries to explain himself.
He makes the farmer a profitable area on the farm and asks for nothing tangible in return.
He and Robin have regular date nights.
He makes fun science puns. He often tries to be funny (they just don't always land).
He asks about your farm and your progress and makes conversation on the things you have in common (how he'd like to work with plants, how working outside is nice, etc).
He has a book in his bedroom about trying to connect with step children.
Demetrius is a good dude and I'll die on that hill.
My first day playing, I decided I was going to marry Robin and was devastated to find out she was already married and not one of the eligible candidates. Shortly after, I decided I was going to marry Demetrius instead. Imagine my despair when I discovered they *were married to each other.*
Demetrius would 100% be my first pick as a spouse if he wasn’t married to Robin. Give me a guy who’s cute, nerdy, nice, successful, and socially awkward but trying his best any day over:
Struggling Guitar Dude,
Emo Computer/Smoker Guy,
Non-Functioning Alcoholic,
Vain Beach Barbie,
Crystal Psychadelic Girl,
Starving Handsome Author,
Aloof Log Cabin Artist,
Hot Jock Bully,
Doctor who profits off his spouse,
Geeky Golden Child,
Manic-Pixie Rock Eater,
Depressed Teacher
Obviously, some options are better than others. But, it’s still a lot of emotional baggage or labor that would come from all of these. Demetrius is just bad a jokes and very literal.
Honestly I'd definitely marry Robin, Demetrius, Jodi, *and* Kent and this magic combo allows me to be thirsty for the marrieds *and* not hate their spouses lol
Not really. At least that has nothing to do with why I dislike him.
It comes down to the Maru's dreams-cutscene exclusively for me. I despise controlling people and them being fictional doesn't change anything.
If this character was real, I'd steer clear of him. The same can be said for a few other SV-characters (Clint comes to mind).
Mind, I don't generally participate in posts surrounding the topic (this is my first ever comment on Demetrius lol) so I don't want to act as if the thirsting-for-Robin-thing wasn't there.
But acting like a normal negative reaction to character flaws and toxic behaviour could only be explained by thirst feels unfair.
For me, the asshole part of Pierre is how if you sell him your produce directly, depending on the quality he tells people different things. More specifically, say you sell him an Iridium quality Melon, he tells people HE grew it. Compare that to a normal Melon, he'll tell people you grew it. If you sell him forageables, he says he foraged them himself.
He's not that big a douche, it's just that he's a smart businessman. Unfortunately, smart businessman doesn't equal good person a lot of the time.
Well said. Getting tired of the low effort repetitive "I hate Demetrius" posts.
Every character has their own flaws, that's the beauty of the game. So why does Demetrius get shit on so much? I know it's mainly because Sebastián and Robin are popular but geez. We get it guys
He and Robin probably have a better relationship than the other two married couples in Pelican Town, what with Kent having been gone for years and coming back probably very changed, and Pierre being so obsessed with running his store, actively hiding things from his wife, and suspecting her of cheating on him. You don't see them hanging out with their spouses at the saloon, either.
He apologizes but you still lose friendship points with him.
It’s just fun to hate on everyone. CA definitely made the characters to have strong flaws, including your own character. Some of them are more blatant and problematic like Pierre’s scammy behavior or Lewis’s horny behavior. Others are just kind of annoying, like Haley’s pretentiousness or Alex’s cockiness. Demetrius is a bit more problematic, though it’s mostly affecting his own family lol.
I had no idea on the book with trying to connect with step children that's so sweet. Sounds like he wants to put in the effort but sometimes misses the ball. I like him too, he's not perfect but no one is.
I feel like it’s an old book though? Cause I feel like Sebastian and Maru are not that different in age so Sebastian had to be really young when Maru came along and I don’t see why he wouldn’t be able to bond with Sebastian at a young age unless Demetrius was just…bad at being a parent.
We don't know anything about what their relationship used to be like. The assumptions that a. Demetrius was a bad dad to a child and b. that the book is old or new and irrelevant either way are both just that--assumptions that are not supported one way or another by the game.
Its possible Demetrius didn't bond with him as a child and it's equally possible that they had a fantastic relationship that was severed later in life. We just don't know and it's unfair to assume or judge him based off assumptions that we have no evidence for.
I might get flak for this in this sub, but it's just as likely that Seb is the issue, and not Demetrius.
But players don't want to think about that since Seb is one of the marriage candidates (and a fan favourite I think) and that Robin isn't a marriage candidate. So Demetrius becomes an easy person to hate.
I kinda assumed that too at first but I haven’t seen anything to suggest Maru isn’t Robin’s biological daughter. Lots of references to Demetrius being Sebastian’s stepdad but that’s all I’ve seen.
My assumption when I saw that book was that Sebastian and Maru were *both* his stepkids and Demetrius was trying to juggle becoming a stepdad to teenagers/young adults while having no parenting experience whatsoever. And that made the overprotectiveness of Maru look a lot more like "this is how fathers are supposed to act about people getting near their daughters, right" and the lack of interaction with Sebastian more along the lines of "alright, the boy's been the 'man of the house' for a while now and he's basically grown and I *really* don't want to step in and make things worse."
I'd also always figured Sebastian had *liked* having a basement room when he was younger, but then the depression hit, and Maru hit it off better with their stepdad and he got a remote job that tied him to his windowless basement all day, and what had once been the room where he got to feel cool and grown-up instead of being right next door to his mom started feeling more like a trap.
There are lots of step parent relationships on subs like am i the asshole - sometimes the step parent has been way too pushy and is clearly in the wrong, but I can't see Demetrius as that kind of person. We just don't see him being pushy.
There are also lots where the child simply resents the step parent because the child wasn't ready for the remaining parent to move on though - often it was too fast, badly managed (surprise! whole new family inside a month! no you can't talk about your father any more, or keep pictures) or both. I can see that happening but if so then it would be mainly due to Robin's poor decision making. Demetrius seems happy to take her lead usually.
Before anyone says Demetrius never talks about Seb, unless 1.6 has changed things, Robin never mentions Maru. They each have a favourite.
She does mention Maru, but only once: to say she likes gems to use in her inventions and to ask how the farmer and Maru are getting along.
The difference, I think, is that Maru doesn't seem to have any issues with her relationship with Robin, whereas Sebastian very clearly feels that Demetrius favors Maru and dislikes him. So Demetrius never mentioning Sebastian while simultaneously talking up Maru will come across to players as proving Sebastian correct, versus if Demetrius had even one line about how Sebastian may be difficult, but he's brilliant with computers or something.
I don't know why people are down voting this? Even people who like Demetrius can agree he isnt the best step-parent to Seb, and although i love Seb i don't hate Demetrius but can still agree he isn't really a great dad
Before finding the reddit community I hadn't heard a single bad word about Demetrius from other players. Maybe a little criticism about how he should be a better stepfather to Sebastian, but generally everyone I've talked to appreciated him as a character. The hatedom here really took me by surprise.
I think most people who play the game probably like all the characters just fine, it's when you get into online spaces, there winds up being a lot of people with very extreme, very loud opinions.
And when he wears that hazmat suit during the green rain. I love that neerdy NPC tbh. Dude frequently goes dancing with his wife, and his relationship with Maru generally seems wholesome. He cares for his family, loves his work, and betters the community with his research.
Yes this! Exactly. None of the characters in Stardew Valley (aside from Morris) are unforgivable or even reasonable-to-hate. Every single character people say is a monster, I’ve seen the all of the heart events for. None of them are ever as bad as people say and some of the scenes people talk about are completely misconstrued at times.
Like with the tomato thing, Demetrius IMMEDIATELY apologized for the misunderstanding and for just assuming what she wanted instead of asking. How is that not wholesome, and a moment of growth?
Reddit is notorious for declaring scorched Earth on anyone flawed...which is everyone. All you have to do is spend 5 minutes on the relationship advice sub reddit to see. Reddit doesn't believe in character flaws or growth through communicating. It's all "toxic, red flags, break up" which is ironically a very toxic way to look at relationship issues and solve them.
I like Demetrius. I think it’s really sweet how he and Robin have date nights and dance together, and how they sit out on the mountain together when she finishes work each day. How many irl couples make that time for each other after 20 years of marriage?
Sebastian is a clearly antisocial individual, and hasn’t shown any attempts at trying to get along with Demetrius either. That isn’t to say he is in the wrong, but we don’t have any proof of what their relationship has been like other than Sebastian saying he hates Demetrius, and to be fair, he doesn’t really seem to like anyone other than Sam.
The only one I can legitimately believe to be a dickhead is Lewis, gold statue and all. Nobody really in the game feels like an actual bad person (Morris not included, corporate bootlick). Demetrius is just a concerned father and husband, that has trouble connecting to other people with his weird worldview and slightly too analytical remarks.
Lewis embezzles money, does nothing for the community, sits back and allows some random farmer do his job for him, keeps his relationship a secret for no valid reason, and the worst of all--involves the farmer in his weird kinky stuff. Like asking for truffle oil and acting weird and secretive about it rather than just lying and saying it's for cooking; and ofc the infamous purple shorts incident where he knew DAMN well where those shorts were but still got YOU, a random person, to fetch them for him😭
I would argue that Pierre also sucks—taking credit for the farmer’s good produce, marking up his prices, and installing a lavish golden temple in his back room—but I 100% agree that Demetrius is a well-meaning guy who just doesn’t always communicate well.
He's one of my favorite characters, I wish we got to learn more details about his research.
I'm (very slowly) learning to mod so I can hopefully make some cutscenes fleshing out his studies and explaining it more in-depth. I'm an ecologist and what he does sounds a bit like what researchers do in the field, so I'd love to see more of it.
I'm working to get my masters degree in Entomology (specifically I'm into pollination/predation with insects, more specifically hymenopterans), but I like to think of Demetrius' work as being more broad, like he's studying the entire ecosystem of the valley. Truly just "ecology" in Stardew Valley. Think like... Aldo Leopold's "Sand County Almanac."
A lot of the SDV community have a tendency of taking the flaws of certain characters and exaggerating them. I think it's because (among other things), in a setting with as little real conflict as SDV, the more middling flaws (like an otherwise good husband being unnecessarily critical of something his wife made) feel more significant by comparison.
The discourse surrounding Emily is most baffling to me. The woman does absolutely nothing wrong and is practically flawless, yet many disregard her because she's "weird" or relate her to some bad hippie people IRL.
Maybe it's a difference in culture, but at least where I live, people like Emily are pretty normal to me.
Not really hate in the same vein as Pierre or Demetrius, but Emily does get neglected or mildly disliked.
In most of the popular posts surrounding Emily here, you can always find someone mentioning how they get put off because of her New Age crystal hippie thingy. That, or how she's crazy (even though she's one of the most sane and mature of the townsfolk).
Emily shows plenty of magic outside of the crystals. Like enchanting (the clothes she gives you at 14 hearts) or possible Mermaid-Stardrop magic (her dream and dance scenes). Maybe even Forest Magic like the player too, since she can apparently talk to the plants and animals.
My hot take is I think Robin is actually unfairly mean to him 🙁 like girl, you know you married an aspy-coded man. Why are you so rude when he takes things so literal? Do you even like him?
Honestly the discourse over characters being “bad people” is so silly to me. The game has realistic, human characters where everyone isn’t “likeable” all the time. That’s whats appealing about it. Go play Hello Kitty Island Adventure if you want a game where everyone’s perfect.
I quite like him, I didn’t realize some people don’t. He has some really funny dialogue sometimes. But I’ve never gotten close with Maru (I’m a Harvey girly) so I’ve never gotten those cutscenes.
I don't want to say it's racism because most times, you can tell if it is.
But lowkey the way things get dragged out of proportion it sometimes feel like it is actually racism.
It's common for people to do that here -- to drag things to the point where it's uncomfortable.
Demetrius takes things very literally, and it makes sense! Him being a scientist and all.
He and Robin obviously have that issue in communication because he takes things so literally.
But it's also like people refuse to see his POV and only focus on Robins cause they think she's attractive.
I'm not saying he can't do no wrong. Because he's a flawed man like everyone else in the world.
But we know why he's so dragged through for something as small as a quarrel. And why know why Maru is one of the least dated.
I feel like he might be on the autism spectrum? Not that I’m an expert. He’s a little too brutally honest and stubborn sometimes, especially with Robin.
But in any case, I don’t like that he doesn’t give Sebastian the same treatment he gives Maru and that’s what pisses me off about him.
I’m also autistic but I can’t stand when people say you can’t dislike or criticize a character because they’ve decided to diagnose them / neurodivergent people relate to them. Your comment doesn’t really read like that to me but might be why some are downvoting
We also don't know anything abt *why* he treats them differently. Maru likes spending time with her dad, clearly and they have common interests and Maru is alot more open minded and understanding than Sebastian is.
For all we know, it could've been Sebastian's fault thay they don't connect, he even states that most of he and Maru's fights were caused *by him.*
And Sebastian is a grown adult, at this point their relationship isn't solely Demetrius' responsibility.
I said this above but you touched on it.
I think Sebastian saw how well maru and Demetrius got along as they grew up and how similar their interests were and just assumed that meant they didn't care for him as much as each other.
Then he pulled away and any attemp to reconcile or connect he met with negativity and it spiraled into him thinking they didn't like him.
He reminds me of my dad so I don't get the Demetrius hate. We always said my dad was like Mr. Spock - logical, smart, doing his best to understand why everyone is so emotional, and genuinely caring.
Honestly people who are mad at and hate characters from videogames that are supossed to be flawed, because guess what we all are, need to take a break from gaming and go outside for a while.
The big issue with Demetrius is that a lot of his asshole moments are frontloaded into other characters' events, usually within the first few events those characters have.
It really gives him an absolutely terrible first impression. (And I say that as someone that has never bothered befriending him despite befriending the rest of his family and usually romancing Seb)
Demetrius is really just some autistic man to me. All of his interactions read that way and I think Robin is really mean and unfair to him. She continuously belittles him and in both the tomato event and the bed event she implies that he isn't normal in a derogatory way. It reads as such a dick thing to do, especially since they've been married for ~20 years give or take! How come these quirks are still surprising to her after all this time? How come she's still so unforgiving with him about it? It doesn't sit right with me, and people are too horny for Robin to really sit down and realize that-- and I am not exempt either, I didn't even properly unpack it until I watched Fiona Sangster's video on Maru! I think people just kind of assume and hear bad things and it makes them interpret him worse because of what they've heard. And racism, undoubtedly. Consciously or not, I don't think it's a coincidence that one of the most hated characters happens to be the only black man in the game. I don't assign anyone direct bias or malice and I doubt the vast majority of players do it consciously nor do I believe it's the sole reasoning for it, but it's the elephant in the room for sure. I'm really glad more people have been starting to notice these things and come around to Demetrius more! He's a great character to me!
I agree with you. He at least has character growth and admits he was wrong. I get annoyed when people group him with Lewis, Pierre, and Clint as the most unlikeable. He is not even as bad as them by a mile
I hate the tomatoe discourse. Idk why people put that on him. Robin should have been more specific, and he should have asked her to be. But it gets put on him like he's a jackass for not being a mind reader.
I think people hate it because he got a "tomato" for fruit salad, and they just expect him to know that they don't go into fruit salad. He's just supposed to read Robin's mind, I guess lol
Yeah like sure I've since learned that it's an American thing because Concerned Ape is based there, but culturally where I live you could ask any local on the street what tomatoes are and I'd bet you my pet shrimp that 90% of the time they'd answer, 'a fruit'. The other 10% being, 'a plant'.
So I've always picked that option and I didn't get why Robin was so upset until I met the sheer vitriol of the horde of Demetrius haters on this sub. 😂
Even going into that cutscene I knew that tomatoes (and actually many of the other crops we grow in game) are technically fruits, but I went with the vegetable answer there because I interpreted it as "yes, a tomato is a fruit in a botanical context, but in a culinary context like a grocery store it would be considered a vegetable" type of answer.
I always found that scene mildly amusing because "fruits and veggies" can really depend on context depending on who you're talking to. If my brother asked me to run to the store and buy some veggies, he'd be annoyed if I came home with potatoes, because he's feeding them to his guinea pigs!
Meanwhile if I asked someone in my family to bring home "some fruit for me to put in my lunch bag" it would be reasonable for them to bring home tomatoes because I'll gladly bite into a tomato like it's any other fruit.
I just thought it was a cute little scene about how relationships can be funny yet frustrating sometimes, and it surprised me to go online and find people are so MAD about it!
Yeah, you're right. None of this is supposed to be taken overly seriously. I think most people don't take it too seriously, either. There are some somewhat unhinged edgecases who get really passionate about what clouds of 1s and 0s do in video games, but I think it's a minority. It's similar to Incel Clint, Evil Capitalist Pierre, and Unethical-Non-Monogamous Lewis, it's all bits and fun ways to read deeper into the characters. Demetrius is annoying to me because he boxes me into a corner trying to get me to side with his bad-faith interpretation of his wife's request for Fruit by acknowledging that Tomatoes are fruits. But because it's a video game, I just skip that cutscene so I don't have to be annoyed by it. Or I side with him for the free relationship points because it's a video game and doesn't really matter. Aside from that cutscene, I generally like Demetrius, he's a ND king and I love him for it, and I like that he's kind of a pastiche on Neil deGrasse Tyson.
I know heart level signifies relationship and at 10 hearts everyone is your BFF, but I feel like Demetrius especially treats you as his BFF. Like he keeps telling you how much he enjoys your company and regularly asks you about your life and always says “Really? Interesting.” to whatever it is the Farmer says in reply.
And coming from Demetrius, you know it’s genuine, the man can’t fake social niceties if you held a shotgun to his head.
his whole personality to me just seems to be “science nerd who take efficiency too far” and not some malicious asshole.
people only hate him because they’re horny for robin and sebastian
To me, he’s written to be ‘on the spectrum’ in that vague media shorthand way where they use specific indicators of the things everyone knows about autism but don’t go too in depth on his individual internal experience- we see he clearly takes things literally and doesn’t understand the bigger picture of why robin needs fruit, and he says some things that fall flat i.e. jokes or his preoccupation with science and his job.
I think all the stuff about not saying anything mentioning sebastian is taking the absence of something as having a lot more meaning than the writer intended. With the limited amount of lines the characters say, I would focus more on the stuff that they do say rather than notice anything they don’t talk about.
Anyway my opinion is basically that ‘it’s not that deep’, but he seems to be written as having ASD in a good portion of the events we see him in. The whole Maru cutscene thing where he ‘threatens’ you is just the shovel talk trope people are misconstruing as controlling.
Don't really get the hate for him he just takes credits for your crops and people claim he kicks baby's and burns your crops for fun (I think it's really funny though and sometimes participate in Pierre slander)
I didn't even realize people didn't like him until I saw this post. I'm autistic and I think Demetrius is very autism-coded. I even use a mod that makes his neurodivergence more obvious. But it would make sense that he's misunderstood and I can relate to him in many ways.
Demetrius is (at least in my headcanon) a perfect representation of someone with autism in a cozy game.
Like he has quirks like the tomato issue and point of dancing, but he truly was confused and always means well. His parenting books on how to be a good step-father are indicative of that too. He also finds routine so important that even if Robin is busy with construction he’ll still go to the saloon at the same time they always do and dance by himself 😭
Yeah he’s over protective of Maru when you first meet them, but everyone has character growth to be done, and he never intends any harm.
Also he’s secure enough to fully admit to loving ice cream, he’s a fully grown adult man and absolutely loves ice cream even more than the kids and that’s adorable. Also how much he and Maru share their love of strawberries.
If you want a bad character, then Clint. Boy needs a therapist, a crash course on appropriate boundaries (especially after marrying Emily), and some confidence. Even through his all heart events, he is always shy and slightly creepy towards Emily.
I dont love Dimitrius simply because the super overprotective parent trope is one I actively dislike, but I don't think he deserves as bad of a rep as he has from what I remember.
Alot of people mentioning how he reads as textbook autistic-coded and that's great and yes I agree as someone who's autistic, but also mention the fact that he's the only Black character in the series and that alot of the hate he gets is heavily tinged in unchecked racism and watch people scramble lmao
I am not the biggest fan of Demetrius but he's 1.) not that bad
and 2.) a character me and my partner gave a story to that I really enjoyed.
I like the version of Demetrius that we have created (who does not steer that far off from canon), and we wouldn't have made that version without the official one from the game.
I was honestly surprised when I saw a post a couple weeks back where lots of people said Demetrius was their most hated character. Sure, he's no Dwarf or Willy, but he's still higher up in the rankings imo.
He’s not a bad guy. He’s an overly defensive father, and a pretty socially inept communicator. That doesn’t make him a bad person.. but it does cause relational conflicts with his wife, daughter, and other members of the community that seem unnecessary.
I think the point of each character is that humans are flawed, dying creatures and you can find a reason to love/hate any creature. Never a corporation, though.
Damn... People really forget... That this is a fictional character in a fictional place, with which you can build fictional relations and even head canons .. Yet take everything way too seriously... Oh yes I know majority just take it "seriously"... But damn... Those who take it seriously should put the game down and touch literal grass...
Demetrius isn't that bad; Robin is a worse character than he is. Honestly, it seems that that concerned ape was trying to avoid making racial stereotypes for both Maru and Demetrius that he forgot to make them likable... and in the end, it still backfired because I still see weird anti-Demetrius posts saying that he is overall aggressive, weird and "scary."
Never realized people hate Demetrius. He reminds me of my dad so I always sort of liked him. I remember a few sad things Sebastian said I think about feeling like Demetrius liked Maru better than him but I always sort of feel like the least favorite child too 🤷
Real!! I never really thought he was bad before I saw pther people say that stuff about him… It got me thinking but I still don’t think he’s a bad person or anything, def agree with you
I played SDV for years before I started following online SDV communities. I was dumbfounded to realize people hated Demetrius because he was one of my favorites. I was also surprised about Pierre. I don’t love Pierre but I don’t hate Pierre. I nothing him.
My least favorites have always been Jodi and Clint. Clint gets the correct amount of hate.
fr 99% of the terrible things he allegedly does are either innocent mistakes (tomatoes incident), misreading social situations (maru heart event, arguably bed post scene) or something we never actually see (snow goon). He's doing his best!!
as a black man it always sorta made me feel weird cause the scene with Maru is so blown out of proportion just to make him seem like a deadbeat dad for some reason
I always gave him points for trying. He even has a book he's been reading on how to be a better step-dad for Sebastian. He's not perfect, but he is trying.
3 reasons I dislike him greatly.
1) he threatened me for no reason when I came over and they even asked me for help.
2) his quests are bullshit. Wtf does me mean overpopulation of tuna, that shit is rare as fuck.
3) his wife asked for fruit and he gave her a tomato. Listen I know tomato is a fruit and robin even says this but when someone says they want fruit you don’t give them a tomato, or avocado which is also a fruit. Robin explains this and he pretends to not understand. That’s like me saying want some bacon, then giving you vegan bacon or saying want some pizza and me giving you bread with ketchup and a kraft single. It’s bullshit and he did it on purpose, then has the nerve to call me out when I agree with Robin, yeah fuck that guy.
He's great. As I've written many times in threads, he's a great depiction of someone on the autistic spectrum. Surprisingly many people don't seem to pick up on it, but He's much more real than popular characters on the spectrum like Sheldon.
And yes, people like that can create some friction if they don't pick up on the cues that they're supposed to hug their wife, not explain to her that Tomatoes are fruit.
I'm to this thread late, but I've been thinking recently how Robin disregards Maru nearly as much as Demetrius disregards Sebastian. She does have one (1) line about her, admittedly, but Sebastian gets several more, including unique post-marriage dialogue unlike Maru. But I have never, ever *ever* seen anyone else point out that many of the same criticisms people levy against Demetrius can be levied against Robin in turn. "Demetrius started favoring their daughter after he realized his wife was continuing to favor her firstborn son" is an equally valid reading as anything else, but I've never seen a single person suggest it.
That said, favoring one of your children because your spouse favors the other is not okay but... that's something both of them seem to be near-equally guilty of.
Demetrius is a flawed character, but he's one I enjoy. People *really* love to dramatically insert a bunch of malice into everything he does where it's clear very little exists. There's plenty to like about him, in fact. I like that he's the first villager to compliment Leah on her art during her art show and is obviously eager to place a bid. I like that he and Robin have little date nights where they go dancing. I like that he has an obvious sweet tooth. I like that he sets up our cave with no cost or labor asked. I like when he's so excited and nerdy about certain things like 1.6's new weather.
Not to mention, some of the stuff people hold against him honestly reads more like flanderization than anything... I know criticizing the game's writing is basically a cardinal sin in this sub, but regarding the bed scene, he was perfectly willing to be supportive of art during Leah's art show, and he clearly cares about Robin getting recognition from her work during the Fair. I'll die on the hill that "sleeping receptacle" or "today is the anniversary of my birth" is way more unnecessarily wordy and detached than his usual dialogue and it just feels like CA is leaning into fandom's interpretation of the character.
He doesn’t have one single in game dialogue last I checked that acknowledges his step-son. I feel like I don’t need to say much else there but if you want me to then how bout we talk about Sebastian’s lines about how he treats him radically different than maru his full biological daughter? And the weird scene with Maru at only two hearts?? It has made it hard for me to befriend Maru cause he always makes me so uncomfortable with that scene. Yeah so for me, no; Demetrius isn’t great and I personally can’t stand him in the same way I dislike Pierre. also, I don’t want people rushing to his defense with the “autism” take because I am also autistic. A lot of his scenes people use to dismiss off his behavior just because someone has autism doesn’t mean we get to behave as he does especially during the bed scene. Although he does apologize to the farmer I do not recall seeing him apologize to Robin; or the other way around. I just don’t feel like they have the best marriage quite frankly and it is bleeding into their town interactions. I don’t know, I come from a very family oriented home so seeing how both men (Pierre and Demetrius) treats their families upset me cause my dad would never 😭
My headcanon as someone who is autistic is Demetrius is autistic and really doesn't understand social situations very well. A saying that fits him well is, "Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad." He has high intelligence, but his social ineptitude leads to awkward and rude conversations sometimes. For the bed conversation, I don't think he realizes that he needs to be supportive of his wife and her craftsmanship. His mind goes to material efficiency and doesn't see "style." It's like someone telling another person critiques right after they finish a performance: wrong time and place, but that's hard to tell without social cues.
I wish I could say something about how he treats Sebastian, but there is literally nothing there besides the snowgoon thing. Which who knows, it could've been blocking something, or could've been obscene, or just Demetrius again wrong time wrong place for critique. I do wish we had more interaction between the two, like maybe Sebastian trying to teach Demetrius how to use a computer or Demetrius trying to get Sebastian involved in a science project and the player has to help Demetrius understand that his step-son has different interests than him and maybe even getting him to give Sebastian some tips on fuel efficiency for his bike.
TL;DR I will defend Demetrius to my last dying breath.
Demetrius is cool when you talk to him directly but whenever he's in a cutscene with Robin or Maru he becomes insufferable. I'm actually beginning to worry about his marriage based on how often Robin is pissed off with him, and the update added yet another problem LMAO
His "Let's not get in the way of that" comment to the player on one of Maru's heart events is definitely a threat. Obviously we don't get much dialogue from him, but it hints at a controlling part of his nature that I just find really skeevy.
"Let's not get in the way of that" sounds a lot more like a threat than what he actually said, which is "I wouldn't want anything to get in the way of her bright future, you know what I mean? "I People read into this line way too much. And he apologizes for it if you speak to him after the scene ends.
His married dialogue about Maru explicitly says he cares more about her happiness than the science stuff.
I hate this particular event because it’s the *first* one you get with her. Like, your daughter has a new acquaintance, I wouldn’t even consider us friends yet by two hearts, and you’re already jumping all over me?
That aside, I agree with the other people that don’t think he’s too bad.
I think the very fact it's the first comment he makes is kinda telling. You just know Demetrius has had that little talk with every other young man in Stardew.
Those sitcom dads are horrible, too, for the same reasons, and stopped being funny with their "oopsie doopsie" attitude forty years ago.
The doghose comment is relevant because his fans like to cry "But he's uwu autistic! He simply CAN'T understand concepts like art, idioms, casual language, he needs help and protection uwuuuuu!" (yes, I'm an autistic adult and I find this defense insulting). By the "he poor uwu logic man", his fans should consequently assume he's going into a literal doghouse. Of course he means it as a "joke" and not literally. That's the point. The autism defense is bull because you don't switch it on and off depending on how much you respect someone or how convenient it is for you. He's just pouting because her son, their daughter, and the farmer defended Robin when he tried to neg and mansplain her about woodworking.
But my current fav example of why he's obnoxious:
When his wife, probably around her 40s, mother of two children, creates a functional object that has a bit of art attached to it: Haha, silly woman, calling yourself a carpenter when I, the great logic man, can clearly see you are wasting resources for a dumb feature that nobody needs!
When a young woman who looks like a 20-year younger version of his wife, is unmarried, without children, creates art. Just art, just for art-creating purposes: Oh, Leah, you are such a genius, your art is so valuable, it speaks to me, I, the smart man, can clearly see the importance of art and understand it properly!
Dude is a classic boomer dad through and through.
It's so weird to see people park these game characters in the autism spectrum. As someone who has lived with persons suffering from autism, this is so weird to see.
We know why Demetrius is disliked and Maru is the least dated. It's obvious.
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I just assumed he was just socially awkward or socially inept.
As someone who’s autistic who definitely struggles with being socially awkward, he strikes me as autistic. His science projects are his special interests. He always makes science jokes & puns. Tomatoes are fruit to him because they scientifically *are* fruits. I’m shit at gift giving too, so, understandable. I think he genuinly means the things he says, e.g. about the efficiency of the hardwood double bed. He just has a really high preference for efficiency & functionality, not beauty. Or maybe he’s trying to make a weird joke...
Considering that hardwood is such a scarce resource and he probably knows that from Robin, I can see why he wonders about an inefficient use of scarce materials. Currently kicking myself for not sticking with the forest farm...
Gather up the mahogany seeds and plant them in the desert. When you get tree fertiliser, that helps too.
I've planted, thanks - it's just the pesky waiting, when i need it now! I still have the boat and that tree to fix up as well as my own stuff.
I just went to the secret forest everyday. You get 12 pieces a day. It's tedious because you have to fit going there everyday into your schedule, but eventually you'll get 200 in no time...I did the boat, then did my stable, then did the raccoon home recently.
My current plan - it works fine when I have things to do in that quarter of teh map, and it's handy since I'm trying to butter up the wizard - but not on a mountain, desert or beach day. All my mahogany plantings will probably mature just around the time I have the boat and stable done. At least it doesn't have a closing time though! I can fit in a visit after hours, and I try to visit the merchant cart anyway.
This!! I always thought the same, and the fact that he's so hated by people by displaying what could be seen as autistic traits tells a lot about how we can be often misunderstood 🥲
tbh i kinda don’t like him for that reason. he feels more like a caricature of autism rather than an actually autistic guy. i feel like after being with Robin for so long they’d get used to this stuff but they seem to be always fighting over dumb things ik i’m reading too much into it and concernedape probably just wanted a logical dude but that’s just how i read the character
Tbh especially as an autist I’d keep arguing about the same stupid things with my spouse if they never accept my own opinion too. I would’ve never married them in the first place. Robin’s and Demetrius’ marriage is kind of failing because they *both* never get used to each other, their opinions and things they deem important are just too different in my opinion. I think Demetrius, while definitely not the best person, is a rather realtistic depiction of an autistic person who hardly changes their views and simply remains as they are. A lot of autistic people are not quite like that, but some definitely are.
I don’t think that their marriage is failing. They seem to be pretty happy together and they dance with each other in the saloon every week.
True... Kinda forgot about that, only thought of their repeated stupid arguements 😅
that’s fair, i’m also autistic for the record and just didn’t find it that relatable. i’ve gotten into enough dumb arguments that have messed with my relationships that i just know to drop it now. i can’t imagine being like 40+ and still not understanding that when arguing with your wife of so many years
I struggle with not thinking the whole town is autistic 😁 Demetrius- Emily- Clint- Harvey- and the Farmer of course 🫨🤣
Same 😭 But this is my ‘problem’ with every media I enjoy haha
That’s a cardinal sin to some SDV players “How dare someone not be perfect in my cosy farming game!”
Demetrius isn’t one of my favorites but I don’t dislike him. I feel like people blow his scenes/lines way out of proportion and take them so personally, especially if Sebastian is involved. People can dislike who they dislike but geez.
I feel like some people in general blow negative character traits out of proportion. Yeah some characters can be dicks at times but it would be boring if everyone in the game were always perfect and nice.
He even apologizes to the farmer after that cutscene w Maru. He apologizes to Robin after the tomato thing and tries to explain himself. He makes the farmer a profitable area on the farm and asks for nothing tangible in return. He and Robin have regular date nights. He makes fun science puns. He often tries to be funny (they just don't always land). He asks about your farm and your progress and makes conversation on the things you have in common (how he'd like to work with plants, how working outside is nice, etc). He has a book in his bedroom about trying to connect with step children. Demetrius is a good dude and I'll die on that hill.
People are just horny for Robin, so they want to paint him as a bad guy so they don't feel bad about thirsting for her when she's married.
My first day playing, I decided I was going to marry Robin and was devastated to find out she was already married and not one of the eligible candidates. Shortly after, I decided I was going to marry Demetrius instead. Imagine my despair when I discovered they *were married to each other.*
There needs to be a throuple mod.
I'd honestly be surprised if there wasn't! And I'd probably go for it, if I could be bothered to go through the effort of modding on mobile.
That was literally my exact experience
Lemme guess then you went for Jodi
He/she got another shock during second year
I'm surprised you didn't go for budget Robin immediately affterwards but lol, never expected to read something like this.
Is budget robin leah?!
Yes. I married Leah and didn’t know they were different people until like fall
That's actually hilarious.
Why buy Robin in a store when you can forage for your own
Exactly! Lol.
Demetrius would 100% be my first pick as a spouse if he wasn’t married to Robin. Give me a guy who’s cute, nerdy, nice, successful, and socially awkward but trying his best any day over: Struggling Guitar Dude, Emo Computer/Smoker Guy, Non-Functioning Alcoholic, Vain Beach Barbie, Crystal Psychadelic Girl, Starving Handsome Author, Aloof Log Cabin Artist, Hot Jock Bully, Doctor who profits off his spouse, Geeky Golden Child, Manic-Pixie Rock Eater, Depressed Teacher Obviously, some options are better than others. But, it’s still a lot of emotional baggage or labor that would come from all of these. Demetrius is just bad a jokes and very literal.
Thank you! You get it!
Honestly I'd definitely marry Robin, Demetrius, Jodi, *and* Kent and this magic combo allows me to be thirsty for the marrieds *and* not hate their spouses lol
I mean she's frictional I don't think there's a lot to feel guilty about either way lmao
Fictional lol frictional is something else 🤣
Let's just pretend I did that on purpose lol 😆
I agree with you, but some people get strange about that sort of thing.
Accidental science pun?! Pack it up Demetrius
Well true. I lile Robin but I am happy that she is happily married
Also for Sebastian
Not really. At least that has nothing to do with why I dislike him. It comes down to the Maru's dreams-cutscene exclusively for me. I despise controlling people and them being fictional doesn't change anything. If this character was real, I'd steer clear of him. The same can be said for a few other SV-characters (Clint comes to mind). Mind, I don't generally participate in posts surrounding the topic (this is my first ever comment on Demetrius lol) so I don't want to act as if the thirsting-for-Robin-thing wasn't there. But acting like a normal negative reaction to character flaws and toxic behaviour could only be explained by thirst feels unfair.
love your flair, the hate these dudes get is so weird and annoying lol. I think I'm too old for some of this fandom.
I know right!? I specifically dont get the hate around pierre :/ he's just a realistic dude
For me, the asshole part of Pierre is how if you sell him your produce directly, depending on the quality he tells people different things. More specifically, say you sell him an Iridium quality Melon, he tells people HE grew it. Compare that to a normal Melon, he'll tell people you grew it. If you sell him forageables, he says he foraged them himself. He's not that big a douche, it's just that he's a smart businessman. Unfortunately, smart businessman doesn't equal good person a lot of the time.
>Unfortunately, smart businessman doesn't equal good person a lot of the time. Lol the relation is basically inverse.
Well said. Getting tired of the low effort repetitive "I hate Demetrius" posts. Every character has their own flaws, that's the beauty of the game. So why does Demetrius get shit on so much? I know it's mainly because Sebastián and Robin are popular but geez. We get it guys
He and Robin probably have a better relationship than the other two married couples in Pelican Town, what with Kent having been gone for years and coming back probably very changed, and Pierre being so obsessed with running his store, actively hiding things from his wife, and suspecting her of cheating on him. You don't see them hanging out with their spouses at the saloon, either.
He apologizes but you still lose friendship points with him. It’s just fun to hate on everyone. CA definitely made the characters to have strong flaws, including your own character. Some of them are more blatant and problematic like Pierre’s scammy behavior or Lewis’s horny behavior. Others are just kind of annoying, like Haley’s pretentiousness or Alex’s cockiness. Demetrius is a bit more problematic, though it’s mostly affecting his own family lol.
I had no idea on the book with trying to connect with step children that's so sweet. Sounds like he wants to put in the effort but sometimes misses the ball. I like him too, he's not perfect but no one is.
It's really adorable to see him and Robin dance together at the Saloon on Fridays
I feel like it’s an old book though? Cause I feel like Sebastian and Maru are not that different in age so Sebastian had to be really young when Maru came along and I don’t see why he wouldn’t be able to bond with Sebastian at a young age unless Demetrius was just…bad at being a parent.
We don't know anything about what their relationship used to be like. The assumptions that a. Demetrius was a bad dad to a child and b. that the book is old or new and irrelevant either way are both just that--assumptions that are not supported one way or another by the game. Its possible Demetrius didn't bond with him as a child and it's equally possible that they had a fantastic relationship that was severed later in life. We just don't know and it's unfair to assume or judge him based off assumptions that we have no evidence for.
I might get flak for this in this sub, but it's just as likely that Seb is the issue, and not Demetrius. But players don't want to think about that since Seb is one of the marriage candidates (and a fan favourite I think) and that Robin isn't a marriage candidate. So Demetrius becomes an easy person to hate.
True true
I’ve always assumed Sebastian was Robins son and Maru was Demetrius’s daughter, both from previous marriages and their own marriage is fairly new
I kinda assumed that too at first but I haven’t seen anything to suggest Maru isn’t Robin’s biological daughter. Lots of references to Demetrius being Sebastian’s stepdad but that’s all I’ve seen.
The game makes it painfully clear that they are half-siblings. The major contention for Sebastian is that he is not a "full" part of the family.
My assumption when I saw that book was that Sebastian and Maru were *both* his stepkids and Demetrius was trying to juggle becoming a stepdad to teenagers/young adults while having no parenting experience whatsoever. And that made the overprotectiveness of Maru look a lot more like "this is how fathers are supposed to act about people getting near their daughters, right" and the lack of interaction with Sebastian more along the lines of "alright, the boy's been the 'man of the house' for a while now and he's basically grown and I *really* don't want to step in and make things worse." I'd also always figured Sebastian had *liked* having a basement room when he was younger, but then the depression hit, and Maru hit it off better with their stepdad and he got a remote job that tied him to his windowless basement all day, and what had once been the room where he got to feel cool and grown-up instead of being right next door to his mom started feeling more like a trap.
There are lots of step parent relationships on subs like am i the asshole - sometimes the step parent has been way too pushy and is clearly in the wrong, but I can't see Demetrius as that kind of person. We just don't see him being pushy. There are also lots where the child simply resents the step parent because the child wasn't ready for the remaining parent to move on though - often it was too fast, badly managed (surprise! whole new family inside a month! no you can't talk about your father any more, or keep pictures) or both. I can see that happening but if so then it would be mainly due to Robin's poor decision making. Demetrius seems happy to take her lead usually. Before anyone says Demetrius never talks about Seb, unless 1.6 has changed things, Robin never mentions Maru. They each have a favourite.
She does mention Maru, but only once: to say she likes gems to use in her inventions and to ask how the farmer and Maru are getting along. The difference, I think, is that Maru doesn't seem to have any issues with her relationship with Robin, whereas Sebastian very clearly feels that Demetrius favors Maru and dislikes him. So Demetrius never mentioning Sebastian while simultaneously talking up Maru will come across to players as proving Sebastian correct, versus if Demetrius had even one line about how Sebastian may be difficult, but he's brilliant with computers or something.
He's a good parent to Maru, though. Cos he actually tries with her. No excuse for his treatment of Sebastian
I don't know why people are down voting this? Even people who like Demetrius can agree he isnt the best step-parent to Seb, and although i love Seb i don't hate Demetrius but can still agree he isn't really a great dad
Wait, puns? I don't remember any puns
Before finding the reddit community I hadn't heard a single bad word about Demetrius from other players. Maybe a little criticism about how he should be a better stepfather to Sebastian, but generally everyone I've talked to appreciated him as a character. The hatedom here really took me by surprise.
I think most people who play the game probably like all the characters just fine, it's when you get into online spaces, there winds up being a lot of people with very extreme, very loud opinions.
the hate for him is so excessive and disproportionate i’m starting to think it’s some inside joke i’m not privy to.
The inside joke is unconscious bias
There it is. Completely agree.
(Racism)
And when he wears that hazmat suit during the green rain. I love that neerdy NPC tbh. Dude frequently goes dancing with his wife, and his relationship with Maru generally seems wholesome. He cares for his family, loves his work, and betters the community with his research.
I love his hazmat suit!
Most of the "awful, vile, sociopathic" characters that everyone hates on are just normal, flawed people.
Yes this! Exactly. None of the characters in Stardew Valley (aside from Morris) are unforgivable or even reasonable-to-hate. Every single character people say is a monster, I’ve seen the all of the heart events for. None of them are ever as bad as people say and some of the scenes people talk about are completely misconstrued at times. Like with the tomato thing, Demetrius IMMEDIATELY apologized for the misunderstanding and for just assuming what she wanted instead of asking. How is that not wholesome, and a moment of growth?
Reddit is notorious for declaring scorched Earth on anyone flawed...which is everyone. All you have to do is spend 5 minutes on the relationship advice sub reddit to see. Reddit doesn't believe in character flaws or growth through communicating. It's all "toxic, red flags, break up" which is ironically a very toxic way to look at relationship issues and solve them.
I like Demetrius. I think it’s really sweet how he and Robin have date nights and dance together, and how they sit out on the mountain together when she finishes work each day. How many irl couples make that time for each other after 20 years of marriage? Sebastian is a clearly antisocial individual, and hasn’t shown any attempts at trying to get along with Demetrius either. That isn’t to say he is in the wrong, but we don’t have any proof of what their relationship has been like other than Sebastian saying he hates Demetrius, and to be fair, he doesn’t really seem to like anyone other than Sam.
The only one I can legitimately believe to be a dickhead is Lewis, gold statue and all. Nobody really in the game feels like an actual bad person (Morris not included, corporate bootlick). Demetrius is just a concerned father and husband, that has trouble connecting to other people with his weird worldview and slightly too analytical remarks.
Lewis embezzles money, does nothing for the community, sits back and allows some random farmer do his job for him, keeps his relationship a secret for no valid reason, and the worst of all--involves the farmer in his weird kinky stuff. Like asking for truffle oil and acting weird and secretive about it rather than just lying and saying it's for cooking; and ofc the infamous purple shorts incident where he knew DAMN well where those shorts were but still got YOU, a random person, to fetch them for him😭
I would argue that Pierre also sucks—taking credit for the farmer’s good produce, marking up his prices, and installing a lavish golden temple in his back room—but I 100% agree that Demetrius is a well-meaning guy who just doesn’t always communicate well.
The temple was already built before they moved in. They decided to keep it for anyone who wanted to use it
Ah, I haven’t gotten that dialogue. That makes sense.
Stop by Sunday morning if you want some story/dialogue!
I like to sell him sap to give him a bad reputation between the npcs
He's one of my favorite characters, I wish we got to learn more details about his research. I'm (very slowly) learning to mod so I can hopefully make some cutscenes fleshing out his studies and explaining it more in-depth. I'm an ecologist and what he does sounds a bit like what researchers do in the field, so I'd love to see more of it.
OMG SOUNDS LIKE SUCH A COOL MOD ????!!!
This would be so awesome! Please keep us updated!
Oh I love that idea! What kind of ecology?
I'm working to get my masters degree in Entomology (specifically I'm into pollination/predation with insects, more specifically hymenopterans), but I like to think of Demetrius' work as being more broad, like he's studying the entire ecosystem of the valley. Truly just "ecology" in Stardew Valley. Think like... Aldo Leopold's "Sand County Almanac."
Redditors will see someone be obnoxious and act like he killed 17 people and is wanted in at least 3 countries.
found it bizarre when i came on here and saw so many people hating on him, i think he’s great
A lot of the SDV community have a tendency of taking the flaws of certain characters and exaggerating them. I think it's because (among other things), in a setting with as little real conflict as SDV, the more middling flaws (like an otherwise good husband being unnecessarily critical of something his wife made) feel more significant by comparison.
The discourse surrounding Emily is most baffling to me. The woman does absolutely nothing wrong and is practically flawless, yet many disregard her because she's "weird" or relate her to some bad hippie people IRL. Maybe it's a difference in culture, but at least where I live, people like Emily are pretty normal to me.
Wait who is hating on Emily?! I just wanna talk…
Not really hate in the same vein as Pierre or Demetrius, but Emily does get neglected or mildly disliked. In most of the popular posts surrounding Emily here, you can always find someone mentioning how they get put off because of her New Age crystal hippie thingy. That, or how she's crazy (even though she's one of the most sane and mature of the townsfolk).
Considering that the SDV universe has magic, the hippie crystal stuff she does may very well work there.
Emily shows plenty of magic outside of the crystals. Like enchanting (the clothes she gives you at 14 hearts) or possible Mermaid-Stardrop magic (her dream and dance scenes). Maybe even Forest Magic like the player too, since she can apparently talk to the plants and animals.
My hot take is I think Robin is actually unfairly mean to him 🙁 like girl, you know you married an aspy-coded man. Why are you so rude when he takes things so literal? Do you even like him?
Ooooooo ngl, I like this take. Two sides to every coin.
you said what i’m too scared to 🤭
Oh people be simping for robin. Shes def my type too tho ngl 😅
same. throuple mod where? 🤣🤣🤣
Honestly the discourse over characters being “bad people” is so silly to me. The game has realistic, human characters where everyone isn’t “likeable” all the time. That’s whats appealing about it. Go play Hello Kitty Island Adventure if you want a game where everyone’s perfect.
I’ve always told myself “this isn’t animal crossing, expect personality flaws”
Haha i was originally going to write “go play animal crossing” but i remembered theres a whole subset of players who despise half the characters 😂
and the OG animal crossings before the 3DS had the villagers be absolutely ruthless to the player sometimes and not very happy like the modern ones
To me, Demetrius is my autistic Dad figure. He is confused and usually uncomfortable with all social interactions, but he’s got the spirit
I never understood why he's hated... But then again I never look it up because I don't hate him
I quite like him, I didn’t realize some people don’t. He has some really funny dialogue sometimes. But I’ve never gotten close with Maru (I’m a Harvey girly) so I’ve never gotten those cutscenes.
https://preview.redd.it/1kwqb9on7m8d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e9102b7c0a7d8da4df3de75285522946d0d6ca8d 😭😭
I don't want to say it's racism because most times, you can tell if it is. But lowkey the way things get dragged out of proportion it sometimes feel like it is actually racism. It's common for people to do that here -- to drag things to the point where it's uncomfortable. Demetrius takes things very literally, and it makes sense! Him being a scientist and all. He and Robin obviously have that issue in communication because he takes things so literally. But it's also like people refuse to see his POV and only focus on Robins cause they think she's attractive. I'm not saying he can't do no wrong. Because he's a flawed man like everyone else in the world. But we know why he's so dragged through for something as small as a quarrel. And why know why Maru is one of the least dated.
I don't like the NPC dialogue mod because it makes Demetrius be more of a jerk to Sebastian. Dude's trying his best
I feel like he might be on the autism spectrum? Not that I’m an expert. He’s a little too brutally honest and stubborn sometimes, especially with Robin. But in any case, I don’t like that he doesn’t give Sebastian the same treatment he gives Maru and that’s what pisses me off about him.
Oh he definitely is
Idk why this is getting downvoted I am literally autistic and relate heavily to his inability to mask
I’m also autistic but I can’t stand when people say you can’t dislike or criticize a character because they’ve decided to diagnose them / neurodivergent people relate to them. Your comment doesn’t really read like that to me but might be why some are downvoting
We also don't know anything abt *why* he treats them differently. Maru likes spending time with her dad, clearly and they have common interests and Maru is alot more open minded and understanding than Sebastian is. For all we know, it could've been Sebastian's fault thay they don't connect, he even states that most of he and Maru's fights were caused *by him.* And Sebastian is a grown adult, at this point their relationship isn't solely Demetrius' responsibility.
I said this above but you touched on it. I think Sebastian saw how well maru and Demetrius got along as they grew up and how similar their interests were and just assumed that meant they didn't care for him as much as each other. Then he pulled away and any attemp to reconcile or connect he met with negativity and it spiraled into him thinking they didn't like him.
He reminds me of my dad so I don't get the Demetrius hate. We always said my dad was like Mr. Spock - logical, smart, doing his best to understand why everyone is so emotional, and genuinely caring.
I think he’s a cutie pie so I always make a strawberry patch just for him :)
Honestly people who are mad at and hate characters from videogames that are supossed to be flawed, because guess what we all are, need to take a break from gaming and go outside for a while.
I see a lot of people who hate him + hate on other characters, but I never understood why 😭. I never really pay attention to what the characters do
Compared to some he isn't the worst that's for sure
after watching the Maru deep dive from Fiona Sangster I 100% agree- she changed my perspective big time
The big issue with Demetrius is that a lot of his asshole moments are frontloaded into other characters' events, usually within the first few events those characters have. It really gives him an absolutely terrible first impression. (And I say that as someone that has never bothered befriending him despite befriending the rest of his family and usually romancing Seb)
Wait who thinks he is a bad character??
I feel like every post on this sub today was complaining about him. Can we get back to secrets please
Demetrius is really just some autistic man to me. All of his interactions read that way and I think Robin is really mean and unfair to him. She continuously belittles him and in both the tomato event and the bed event she implies that he isn't normal in a derogatory way. It reads as such a dick thing to do, especially since they've been married for ~20 years give or take! How come these quirks are still surprising to her after all this time? How come she's still so unforgiving with him about it? It doesn't sit right with me, and people are too horny for Robin to really sit down and realize that-- and I am not exempt either, I didn't even properly unpack it until I watched Fiona Sangster's video on Maru! I think people just kind of assume and hear bad things and it makes them interpret him worse because of what they've heard. And racism, undoubtedly. Consciously or not, I don't think it's a coincidence that one of the most hated characters happens to be the only black man in the game. I don't assign anyone direct bias or malice and I doubt the vast majority of players do it consciously nor do I believe it's the sole reasoning for it, but it's the elephant in the room for sure. I'm really glad more people have been starting to notice these things and come around to Demetrius more! He's a great character to me!
I like Demetrius so far and Sebastian just kinda seems like a whiny teenager to me lmao.
He is not at all, i agree.
I agree with you. He at least has character growth and admits he was wrong. I get annoyed when people group him with Lewis, Pierre, and Clint as the most unlikeable. He is not even as bad as them by a mile
I truly like Demetrius and the amount of hate that character gets makes me sick
I like him fine, only issue is that I like his wife more
I hate the tomatoe discourse. Idk why people put that on him. Robin should have been more specific, and he should have asked her to be. But it gets put on him like he's a jackass for not being a mind reader.
The poor man is extremely literal minded. He makes carp roe pie for the Egg Festival for crying out loud!
Gus literally has some dialogue calling Pumpkin a fruit, which is exactly the stuff people hate Demitrius for but no one seems to have even noticed
I think people hate it because he got a "tomato" for fruit salad, and they just expect him to know that they don't go into fruit salad. He's just supposed to read Robin's mind, I guess lol
Yeah like sure I've since learned that it's an American thing because Concerned Ape is based there, but culturally where I live you could ask any local on the street what tomatoes are and I'd bet you my pet shrimp that 90% of the time they'd answer, 'a fruit'. The other 10% being, 'a plant'. So I've always picked that option and I didn't get why Robin was so upset until I met the sheer vitriol of the horde of Demetrius haters on this sub. 😂
Even going into that cutscene I knew that tomatoes (and actually many of the other crops we grow in game) are technically fruits, but I went with the vegetable answer there because I interpreted it as "yes, a tomato is a fruit in a botanical context, but in a culinary context like a grocery store it would be considered a vegetable" type of answer.
I always found that scene mildly amusing because "fruits and veggies" can really depend on context depending on who you're talking to. If my brother asked me to run to the store and buy some veggies, he'd be annoyed if I came home with potatoes, because he's feeding them to his guinea pigs! Meanwhile if I asked someone in my family to bring home "some fruit for me to put in my lunch bag" it would be reasonable for them to bring home tomatoes because I'll gladly bite into a tomato like it's any other fruit. I just thought it was a cute little scene about how relationships can be funny yet frustrating sometimes, and it surprised me to go online and find people are so MAD about it!
The >!green rain scene!< does a lot to re-endear him.
I’m sure that even one line from Demetrius where he says something positive about Sebastian would dispel most of the negative headcanons around him.
he’s such a cool and kind guy even if he doesn’t understand others sometimes; don’t get the hate he gets
I like him. I wish he got more cutscenes where it showed him getting along with the family.
Yeah, you're right. None of this is supposed to be taken overly seriously. I think most people don't take it too seriously, either. There are some somewhat unhinged edgecases who get really passionate about what clouds of 1s and 0s do in video games, but I think it's a minority. It's similar to Incel Clint, Evil Capitalist Pierre, and Unethical-Non-Monogamous Lewis, it's all bits and fun ways to read deeper into the characters. Demetrius is annoying to me because he boxes me into a corner trying to get me to side with his bad-faith interpretation of his wife's request for Fruit by acknowledging that Tomatoes are fruits. But because it's a video game, I just skip that cutscene so I don't have to be annoyed by it. Or I side with him for the free relationship points because it's a video game and doesn't really matter. Aside from that cutscene, I generally like Demetrius, he's a ND king and I love him for it, and I like that he's kind of a pastiche on Neil deGrasse Tyson.
I've never really like hated Demetrius. The only character i can say without a doubt i dont like in SV is Morris. Joja in my town? I DONT THINK SO!
I love Demetrius, he’s one of my first pals. Him and Robin dancing together at the saloon or during the luau is so cute
I like Demetrius a lot, honestly. I was shocked when I found out people hated him.
I know heart level signifies relationship and at 10 hearts everyone is your BFF, but I feel like Demetrius especially treats you as his BFF. Like he keeps telling you how much he enjoys your company and regularly asks you about your life and always says “Really? Interesting.” to whatever it is the Farmer says in reply. And coming from Demetrius, you know it’s genuine, the man can’t fake social niceties if you held a shotgun to his head.
Hot take: No one is even that bad of a character. you guys just have no chill.
his whole personality to me just seems to be “science nerd who take efficiency too far” and not some malicious asshole. people only hate him because they’re horny for robin and sebastian
It’s just racism
Yeah I like Demetrius 😬
To me, he’s written to be ‘on the spectrum’ in that vague media shorthand way where they use specific indicators of the things everyone knows about autism but don’t go too in depth on his individual internal experience- we see he clearly takes things literally and doesn’t understand the bigger picture of why robin needs fruit, and he says some things that fall flat i.e. jokes or his preoccupation with science and his job. I think all the stuff about not saying anything mentioning sebastian is taking the absence of something as having a lot more meaning than the writer intended. With the limited amount of lines the characters say, I would focus more on the stuff that they do say rather than notice anything they don’t talk about. Anyway my opinion is basically that ‘it’s not that deep’, but he seems to be written as having ASD in a good portion of the events we see him in. The whole Maru cutscene thing where he ‘threatens’ you is just the shovel talk trope people are misconstruing as controlling.
The most sus character is Linus but no one wants to talk bout that.
Some people hate Demetrius.. some people like Demetrius.. but I think we can all agree.. . . . . Everybody hates Pierre
Don't really get the hate for him he just takes credits for your crops and people claim he kicks baby's and burns your crops for fun (I think it's really funny though and sometimes participate in Pierre slander)
Honestly I just think that ppl want to marry Robin and that transfers to the hate for Demetrius
Yup, TIL people hate Demetrius. He seemed like a nice guy
I like him
I didn't even realize people didn't like him until I saw this post. I'm autistic and I think Demetrius is very autism-coded. I even use a mod that makes his neurodivergence more obvious. But it would make sense that he's misunderstood and I can relate to him in many ways.
I’m very pleasantly surprised by this thread, especially after the last two Demetrius hate posts here yesterday
Demetrius is (at least in my headcanon) a perfect representation of someone with autism in a cozy game. Like he has quirks like the tomato issue and point of dancing, but he truly was confused and always means well. His parenting books on how to be a good step-father are indicative of that too. He also finds routine so important that even if Robin is busy with construction he’ll still go to the saloon at the same time they always do and dance by himself 😭 Yeah he’s over protective of Maru when you first meet them, but everyone has character growth to be done, and he never intends any harm. Also he’s secure enough to fully admit to loving ice cream, he’s a fully grown adult man and absolutely loves ice cream even more than the kids and that’s adorable. Also how much he and Maru share their love of strawberries. If you want a bad character, then Clint. Boy needs a therapist, a crash course on appropriate boundaries (especially after marrying Emily), and some confidence. Even through his all heart events, he is always shy and slightly creepy towards Emily.
I dont love Dimitrius simply because the super overprotective parent trope is one I actively dislike, but I don't think he deserves as bad of a rep as he has from what I remember.
Alot of people mentioning how he reads as textbook autistic-coded and that's great and yes I agree as someone who's autistic, but also mention the fact that he's the only Black character in the series and that alot of the hate he gets is heavily tinged in unchecked racism and watch people scramble lmao
I am not the biggest fan of Demetrius but he's 1.) not that bad and 2.) a character me and my partner gave a story to that I really enjoyed. I like the version of Demetrius that we have created (who does not steer that far off from canon), and we wouldn't have made that version without the official one from the game.
I was honestly surprised when I saw a post a couple weeks back where lots of people said Demetrius was their most hated character. Sure, he's no Dwarf or Willy, but he's still higher up in the rankings imo.
Good to see this community is the same as ever lol
He’s not a bad guy. He’s an overly defensive father, and a pretty socially inept communicator. That doesn’t make him a bad person.. but it does cause relational conflicts with his wife, daughter, and other members of the community that seem unnecessary.
I think the point of each character is that humans are flawed, dying creatures and you can find a reason to love/hate any creature. Never a corporation, though.
Damn... People really forget... That this is a fictional character in a fictional place, with which you can build fictional relations and even head canons .. Yet take everything way too seriously... Oh yes I know majority just take it "seriously"... But damn... Those who take it seriously should put the game down and touch literal grass...
Demetrius isn't that bad; Robin is a worse character than he is. Honestly, it seems that that concerned ape was trying to avoid making racial stereotypes for both Maru and Demetrius that he forgot to make them likable... and in the end, it still backfired because I still see weird anti-Demetrius posts saying that he is overall aggressive, weird and "scary."
Never realized people hate Demetrius. He reminds me of my dad so I always sort of liked him. I remember a few sad things Sebastian said I think about feeling like Demetrius liked Maru better than him but I always sort of feel like the least favorite child too 🤷
Real!! I never really thought he was bad before I saw pther people say that stuff about him… It got me thinking but I still don’t think he’s a bad person or anything, def agree with you
I played SDV for years before I started following online SDV communities. I was dumbfounded to realize people hated Demetrius because he was one of my favorites. I was also surprised about Pierre. I don’t love Pierre but I don’t hate Pierre. I nothing him. My least favorites have always been Jodi and Clint. Clint gets the correct amount of hate.
fr 99% of the terrible things he allegedly does are either innocent mistakes (tomatoes incident), misreading social situations (maru heart event, arguably bed post scene) or something we never actually see (snow goon). He's doing his best!!
as a black man it always sorta made me feel weird cause the scene with Maru is so blown out of proportion just to make him seem like a deadbeat dad for some reason
I don’t dislike a single character
I always gave him points for trying. He even has a book he's been reading on how to be a better step-dad for Sebastian. He's not perfect, but he is trying.
I think people are just salty he's with Robin lol
3 reasons I dislike him greatly. 1) he threatened me for no reason when I came over and they even asked me for help. 2) his quests are bullshit. Wtf does me mean overpopulation of tuna, that shit is rare as fuck. 3) his wife asked for fruit and he gave her a tomato. Listen I know tomato is a fruit and robin even says this but when someone says they want fruit you don’t give them a tomato, or avocado which is also a fruit. Robin explains this and he pretends to not understand. That’s like me saying want some bacon, then giving you vegan bacon or saying want some pizza and me giving you bread with ketchup and a kraft single. It’s bullshit and he did it on purpose, then has the nerve to call me out when I agree with Robin, yeah fuck that guy.
He's great. As I've written many times in threads, he's a great depiction of someone on the autistic spectrum. Surprisingly many people don't seem to pick up on it, but He's much more real than popular characters on the spectrum like Sheldon. And yes, people like that can create some friction if they don't pick up on the cues that they're supposed to hug their wife, not explain to her that Tomatoes are fruit.
I'm to this thread late, but I've been thinking recently how Robin disregards Maru nearly as much as Demetrius disregards Sebastian. She does have one (1) line about her, admittedly, but Sebastian gets several more, including unique post-marriage dialogue unlike Maru. But I have never, ever *ever* seen anyone else point out that many of the same criticisms people levy against Demetrius can be levied against Robin in turn. "Demetrius started favoring their daughter after he realized his wife was continuing to favor her firstborn son" is an equally valid reading as anything else, but I've never seen a single person suggest it. That said, favoring one of your children because your spouse favors the other is not okay but... that's something both of them seem to be near-equally guilty of. Demetrius is a flawed character, but he's one I enjoy. People *really* love to dramatically insert a bunch of malice into everything he does where it's clear very little exists. There's plenty to like about him, in fact. I like that he's the first villager to compliment Leah on her art during her art show and is obviously eager to place a bid. I like that he and Robin have little date nights where they go dancing. I like that he has an obvious sweet tooth. I like that he sets up our cave with no cost or labor asked. I like when he's so excited and nerdy about certain things like 1.6's new weather. Not to mention, some of the stuff people hold against him honestly reads more like flanderization than anything... I know criticizing the game's writing is basically a cardinal sin in this sub, but regarding the bed scene, he was perfectly willing to be supportive of art during Leah's art show, and he clearly cares about Robin getting recognition from her work during the Fair. I'll die on the hill that "sleeping receptacle" or "today is the anniversary of my birth" is way more unnecessarily wordy and detached than his usual dialogue and it just feels like CA is leaning into fandom's interpretation of the character.
He doesn’t have one single in game dialogue last I checked that acknowledges his step-son. I feel like I don’t need to say much else there but if you want me to then how bout we talk about Sebastian’s lines about how he treats him radically different than maru his full biological daughter? And the weird scene with Maru at only two hearts?? It has made it hard for me to befriend Maru cause he always makes me so uncomfortable with that scene. Yeah so for me, no; Demetrius isn’t great and I personally can’t stand him in the same way I dislike Pierre. also, I don’t want people rushing to his defense with the “autism” take because I am also autistic. A lot of his scenes people use to dismiss off his behavior just because someone has autism doesn’t mean we get to behave as he does especially during the bed scene. Although he does apologize to the farmer I do not recall seeing him apologize to Robin; or the other way around. I just don’t feel like they have the best marriage quite frankly and it is bleeding into their town interactions. I don’t know, I come from a very family oriented home so seeing how both men (Pierre and Demetrius) treats their families upset me cause my dad would never 😭
My headcanon as someone who is autistic is Demetrius is autistic and really doesn't understand social situations very well. A saying that fits him well is, "Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad." He has high intelligence, but his social ineptitude leads to awkward and rude conversations sometimes. For the bed conversation, I don't think he realizes that he needs to be supportive of his wife and her craftsmanship. His mind goes to material efficiency and doesn't see "style." It's like someone telling another person critiques right after they finish a performance: wrong time and place, but that's hard to tell without social cues. I wish I could say something about how he treats Sebastian, but there is literally nothing there besides the snowgoon thing. Which who knows, it could've been blocking something, or could've been obscene, or just Demetrius again wrong time wrong place for critique. I do wish we had more interaction between the two, like maybe Sebastian trying to teach Demetrius how to use a computer or Demetrius trying to get Sebastian involved in a science project and the player has to help Demetrius understand that his step-son has different interests than him and maybe even getting him to give Sebastian some tips on fuel efficiency for his bike. TL;DR I will defend Demetrius to my last dying breath.
Demetrius is cool when you talk to him directly but whenever he's in a cutscene with Robin or Maru he becomes insufferable. I'm actually beginning to worry about his marriage based on how often Robin is pissed off with him, and the update added yet another problem LMAO
Can we start permabanning for those crappy HoT TakE and UnPopUlAr OpiNioN posta
His "Let's not get in the way of that" comment to the player on one of Maru's heart events is definitely a threat. Obviously we don't get much dialogue from him, but it hints at a controlling part of his nature that I just find really skeevy.
"Let's not get in the way of that" sounds a lot more like a threat than what he actually said, which is "I wouldn't want anything to get in the way of her bright future, you know what I mean? "I People read into this line way too much. And he apologizes for it if you speak to him after the scene ends. His married dialogue about Maru explicitly says he cares more about her happiness than the science stuff.
I hate this particular event because it’s the *first* one you get with her. Like, your daughter has a new acquaintance, I wouldn’t even consider us friends yet by two hearts, and you’re already jumping all over me? That aside, I agree with the other people that don’t think he’s too bad.
I think the very fact it's the first comment he makes is kinda telling. You just know Demetrius has had that little talk with every other young man in Stardew.
And woman. You can assume Maru is bisexual. Fine. But is she not allowed to have friends?? Get to know anyone? It really rubs me the wrong way.
Demetrius is cool. He is in my top 10. How could you dislike Demetrius when Lewis and Elliot exist? Elliot is so annoying 🤣
You were doing so well and then 😭😭😭😭😭
Are you a fan 😭 he just seems unapproachable so I don’t even try. Also I am scared he’ll attempt to serenade me if I try to friend him.
Nope, he isn't that bad. He is just in my way.
Those sitcom dads are horrible, too, for the same reasons, and stopped being funny with their "oopsie doopsie" attitude forty years ago. The doghose comment is relevant because his fans like to cry "But he's uwu autistic! He simply CAN'T understand concepts like art, idioms, casual language, he needs help and protection uwuuuuu!" (yes, I'm an autistic adult and I find this defense insulting). By the "he poor uwu logic man", his fans should consequently assume he's going into a literal doghouse. Of course he means it as a "joke" and not literally. That's the point. The autism defense is bull because you don't switch it on and off depending on how much you respect someone or how convenient it is for you. He's just pouting because her son, their daughter, and the farmer defended Robin when he tried to neg and mansplain her about woodworking. But my current fav example of why he's obnoxious: When his wife, probably around her 40s, mother of two children, creates a functional object that has a bit of art attached to it: Haha, silly woman, calling yourself a carpenter when I, the great logic man, can clearly see you are wasting resources for a dumb feature that nobody needs! When a young woman who looks like a 20-year younger version of his wife, is unmarried, without children, creates art. Just art, just for art-creating purposes: Oh, Leah, you are such a genius, your art is so valuable, it speaks to me, I, the smart man, can clearly see the importance of art and understand it properly! Dude is a classic boomer dad through and through.
> yes, I'm an autistic adult and I find this defense insulting ditto. it's patronizing.
It's so weird to see people park these game characters in the autism spectrum. As someone who has lived with persons suffering from autism, this is so weird to see. We know why Demetrius is disliked and Maru is the least dated. It's obvious.