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Ito_Takeshi

"As a straight guy.." -proceeds to say the gayest shit ever


[deleted]

every straight man ever


[deleted]

its ok they have socks on so its not gay


manmadeofhonor

I like to fuck them, and as they're lying on their backs, I slowly pull off their socks. BLAM! Surprise, ya gay (take my cums)!


[deleted]

I'll gladly let you take off my socks 😻😻😻


manmadeofhonor

Attention: You are full of cum.


MadxCarnage

that's when they appear behind you, socks still on. and reveal they had a woman lay there all along while taking means from underneath the bed. BLAM, you're straight !


[deleted]

Only If it's with the boys, yah know?


the_fat_whisperer

Every night can be a boys night with the bros.


the-dave-9000

Haaaaaaaaa.


Zadian543

This is why I believe that no man can be 100% straight ever. Women can be 100% gay or straight, men can be 100% gay but I do not believe any man can be 100% straight. I've never met a straight man who didn't say something along the idea of this. And my trigger question to make them think, "when you watch straight porn, do you like the guy to be flacid or throbbing". The answers will not shock anyone 🤣🤣


StinkyStangler

I get your point about sexuality being a spectrum but if the dude isn’t hard in straight porn I don’t see how they’re gonna be fucking or whatever, nobody wants to see a flaccid dick slapping against something lol


Zadian543

Honestly it's a strawman argument but its usually the one that get straight men thinking. Gotta keep it relatable.


Dr_Occo_Nobi

I have been on the internet long enough to know that penetration is not the only way to have sex.


razzbow1

They are so astetically pleasing though


[deleted]

what did you just say?


razzbow1

Athstetucaldhwy


the_fat_whisperer

"As a straight guy" Jesus I'm wondering if I'm even gay compared to this guy lol.


Justsomeonebored04

My "straight" classmates smashing each other's ass and making "jokes" about banging each other


the_fat_whisperer

Kind of random, but a lot of straight guys are very comfortable physically. I was out at a bar the other day with people I used to work with who don't know I'm gay. I'm very in the closet I guess but one of the guys literally had his leg against me for a lot of the night at the table. It was a tight space, so it made sense and he is very much a straight man. I just wouldn't have the confidence to just do that myself. I'm not attracted to straight guys, so the situation makes me more uncomfortable but it shouldn't. Edit: based on the downvotes I may not have explained the situation well. My point may not be valid.


SnooCapers9313

A friend of mine from high-school is gay and we've just started talking for the 1st time in 25 years. He said it was amazing how many "straight" guys from our year would be horny enough to do stuff with guys


AFineFineHologram

I feel you. It’s like manspreading. Men take up so much space because they don’t often think or care about how that impacts others. And they’re comfortable doing that around men because they assume everyone is straight like them unless they’re some stereotype. It’s kind of funny. Sorry you were uncomfortable tho.


the_fat_whisperer

I'm not a touchy person. Regardless of sex I don't like people touching me. So this particular ordinary circumstance and those like it stand out to me lol.


dwegol

Uhg I like literally freeze when this happens. Toeing the line into fantasy land and they are none the wiser.


[deleted]

It’s only gay if you push back


[deleted]

Literally 4chan


ahedgehog

This is literally an everyday occurrence in gay subreddits it’s so funny


StreetAssist2836

I agree! As a straight guy who likes cocks in my bussy.


Atharaphelun

And also copious amounts of thick, warm seed.


StreetAssist2836

🤤


DidjTerminator

A little bromo never hurt anyone


[deleted]

A brojob


Celebrity-stranger

The [metal band](https://youtu.be/Z5aHeLeQoBY) is awesome too.


[deleted]

The world would be a better place if everyone could put their legs behind their head


CrazyCuteCookieBoi

At this point it's beyond Bromo


the_real_trebor333

Blasphemy, as a totally straight male, I would happily fuck any of my bros bussies


[deleted]

What a good friend!


[deleted]

Aa a straight man.dick is so beautiful i want to put it in my mouth just to appreciate it .no homo


PhatInferno

And maybe my bottom too to better judge texture 😳


the_fat_whisperer

It really is the logical conclusion.


[deleted]

And cats 🐈‍⬛


the_fat_whisperer

Cats have managed to tame the human species for their own benefit, I'm convinced. However well I lived my cat still seems to live better lol.


SmilewD

if you're wondering how much protein you've got in your cum i could taste it and check for you no homo or anything 😳😳


BurntBridgesBehind

I know he's lying because I'm old enough to have had to watch straight porn, and the dicks are well featured and good looking, the men might not be but the dicks are very attractive. Straight porn got plenty of dick only thing it doesn't got is men fucking men.


nipss18

This is so true


Spicy_Bicycle

Unless you look up bi shit


ediblesprysky

That ain’t straight anymore though, sorry to break it to you 🙃


Spicy_Bicycle

No need to apologize. I look up bi shit on purpose. 👉👉👌


OrdinaryNaga

I remember when this was posted. The guy was so deep in the closet that he didnt even know there was one. I checked his account a couple months back and hes pretty active on r/bisexual. He seems to have come to his senses and explored his sexuality more deeply. Im happy for him


depressedassshit

rock deserted cooperative combative humor jeans absurd dazzling seed political *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


_Jelly_King_

Sometimes I’ll screenshot a post so I can come back later to either check up on the OP or the situation. And unlike the Remindbot, there’s no assigned time frame. Whenever I go back through my photos, it’s like a fun surprise. A drama present to me, from me, but someone else’s damaged life for once.


depressedassshit

hateful stupendous consist enjoy afterthought terrific smile snobbish mysterious offend *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


CatInAPottedPlant

They might have tagged them with RES.


OrdinaryNaga

sargon71 i think? Otherwise just look up the title on google and it should show up


themehboat

Wow, I literally thought this was a parody.


ediblesprysky

Aww, we love a happy ending!


OatAndMango

Ain't nothing gay about a man appreciating the male anatomy! Genuinely, love yourself and your body


discerningpervert

I'm loving my body as we speak


flyhigh_divedeep

r/usernamechecksout


OatAndMango

Yes King!


RaleighRedd

Reject returning to MONKE Return to GRECÆ


OatAndMango

I mean... They knew things Good things


uwuenthusiast44

Plenty of uses for olive oil, for instance 😄


STUPIDVlPGUY

yeah, always love yourself, it only gets gay when you start loving OTHER men


VedDdlAXE

There's a distinction between appreciating your own body and appreciating other's bodies. Not sure what that distinction is yet but I'll get back to you when I work it out


helixthecompleteegg

the distinction is not putting kel and basil into a broken cloning machine


TitanOfGamingYT

Nothing wrong about guzzling down large cock! Genuinely, love your homies.


chapPilot

Well, not every cock is a winner, but I got your point.


sporeegg

>not every cock is a winner But every cock is a wiener.


nipss18

take your upvote and leave


DevotionToTheMotion

Man that’s just so original


babygirlruth

Bye


Morag_Ladier

r/angryupvote


Spicy_Bicycle

r/AngryUpvote


[deleted]

[удалено]


redbadger91

You mean vulvas. Vaginas are internal.


EliteCodexer

Internals can be pretty ugly


CompleteAssWipe

Nah, u ever seen the inside? Looks weird asf


sporeegg

Idk, maybe don't go body shaming things you are not really fond of? I love boobs, ass and cocks. But I am as gay as rainbow cake on Freddie Mercury.


neofooturism

also trans men exists


nipss18

what's the incel term for vaginas? raw beef?


sporeegg

Meat curtains


BunnyOppai

I saw a post recently describing women with torn hymens as “street meat.”


StreetAssist2836

Its my opinion. It's not the truth. Relax. I think assholes are ugly too. We all have those 😉.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FancyBrassCrab

No


FancyBrassCrab

Ham sandwich


Emerald_Lavigne

Ah, the one billion percent heterosexual urge to messily fellate big throbbing rock hard cocks


Mouffcat

You're bi-curious, welcome.


Emerald_Lavigne

I mean, yes, but also, I ain't curious about nuthin! I know how delicious they are. After all, the only thing I like more than pussy is dick, and the only thing I like more than dick is pussy...


cvnvr

i know this is an old post, but still r/UselessNobody


grandeuse

Also wtf do mods have to do with it? As in moderators?


NoobSharkey

its based on a joke that subreddit mods are gay


grandeuse

Just brainlessly homophobic


DerbyCapChap

To be fair, I once wondered if I was just attracted to penises. The answer is yes and


Apophis_Night

And what? AND WHAT??


Scarmeow

I'm gay af, but even I'll admit some cocks are just plain ugly


Far_Entrepreneur_669

Tell me you're gay without telling me you're gay


MicGuinea

A true ally, if ever there was one. Admires the art of homosexuality like the Greeks and Romans! Also, I 💯% thought he was gunna say "a good source of protein"


rolfboos

My guy, just say you don't know how vaginas work, it's okay.


RedVamp2020

I believe he did. That’s okay, though. More for me.😜


LiterallyAny1

I think we just found Andrew Tate‘ Reddit Account…


finkelzeez42

I feel like most gay people aren't even this gay


[deleted]

Erect cocks are more attractive than boobs. They are smooth, not confusing in how they work, like... *moves the goalpost* ...vaginas.


Substantial_Ad_1038

Stage 1: denial


evictedfrommyaccount

Wait... Cocks are attractive to people? I thought it was common knowledge that they were ugly af...


potato_rights

Lmao, we need to talk about the 35.9k upvotes


babygirlruth

As a lesbian, cocks are hella confusing. What's so confusing about vaginas?


teapoison

Where's the hole where's the clit where's the g spot where's the pee come from is it cum or pee. Dick just gets hard and shoots cum


LightningSt0rm

>Dick just gets hard and shoots cum Ummm... It's not quite that simple...


RedVamp2020

Well, the pee comes from the urethra, not the vagina. The clit is towards the front of the pubic mound. The g-spot varies person to person. Not all folks who have vulvas can cum or squirt. And which hole are you wondering about? The vagina isn’t that difficult to find.🤷‍♀️ And I agree with u/LightningSt0rm, dick really isn’t that simple.


[deleted]

I understand this, I'm a straight woman, but I'd rather look at boobs. They are straightforward in how they work and don't require cranking to become functional.


chilldldude

Bro belongs on r/totallystraight


ItsmeKENZEN

I really shouldn’t have clicked


dwegol

It’s pretty good til you hit a random fisting gif. That is not something your average gay is looking for.


chshcat

"erect cocks are more attractive than boobs" why you got to pit two bad bitches against each other


sofhe

looking at you vaginas (not actually tho cuz im busy looking at dicks)


Levi-In-Distress

Genital preference is a real thing, he can be 100% straight and still like dick. Works the other way around to, genitals do not equal gender.


microbuckology

Preach


nipss18

I mean things like this want me to abolish labels. let people enjoy things


hok98

Only if I can enjoy them too


OmegaClifton

Judging by all the porn video comments I see of straight dudes praising another guys dick, there has to be some truth to this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Levi-In-Distress

Your thinking of sex, not gender. Also there’s this thing called advanced biology that will disagree with you, “basic anatomy ” is called basic because it’s dumbed down for people who can’t understand the fine details and complexities of anatomy :)


ds9001

It's not really "dumbed down" for people that don't understand it. It gets simplified because most science things would take up to much time of your general education if you get to deep into it. The problem is that many don't include "Researcher more for yourself" part and people get the false believe that they know everything there is to know about it :( I try to avoid calling people dumb, as this either enforces their false beliefs or makes them not talk about the topic, so they carry that false knowledge for ever. This of course only applies to rational human beings


DesiPoster

Just here to say that my crush's name is also ritika 💀


nop_not_ritika

Dude no💀


kaazir

Ron White: I told my friend that every man is at least a little gay. He told me "I ain't no queer I like titties". So I asked him if he watches porn, he said yes. I asked him if he likes it when the guys all soft and floppy and he said "No I like a big hard cock.....oh" and I said "SEE!" and he was like "I didn't know that about myself".


tatormanz

Agreed as a bisexual straight mann


TheRocksLeftNut123

What the hell is a bisexual straight man


EquivalentSnap

Bisexual guy in denial


tatormanz

Basically


tatormanz

Exactly


Vanderdecken

Oh. Honey.


CumOnMyGlasses2002

I don’t care about size so long cum flies out of it and I can carefully and playfully squeeze them nuts so my fellow man orgasmes more harder I’m good.


Nuno444

I mean there is nothing more straight upwards than a erect cock.


_demidevil_

I just don’t see it. Nothing attractive about them.


Actual_Ambition_4464

I used to say that too, I still do but I took the ‘as a straight guy’ out of the sentence.


[deleted]

“Everybody knows this” just fucking kills me.


RumHamEnjoyer

"Looking at you vaginas" killed me


imhugury

r/suddenlybi


KarmalizedTaco

r/AsABlackMan


FreshAndChill

Dicks are awesome


Bvoluroth

You could be into trans women, you know, nothing wrong with that Oh wait not all girldicks get hard, nvm they pretty gay but not entirely


[deleted]

hes bi


SocialDicktasting

Yeah, like, I’m straight too. Straight to my knees. Straight to bed. Straight to the next man.


Otherwise-Ad-698

I totally agree


Rubenkoob

Idk he could just be into girls with dicks.


nop_not_ritika

"There are no girls with dicks only guys with boobs" - Ted (jk i am a TG too )


TheGirlPrayer

Me at 15 trying to pretend I’m not bi in this conservative small town.


Inferno_Zyrack

Literally every time someone tries to say “I’m not gay but” *describes multiple gay encounters*


Qhoren

/r/totallystraight


Immediate-Ad6802

straightest man in r/suddenlygay


lelozx

he might as well say “As a straight guy, I am fucking gay”


abadstrategy

I've fucked multiple dudes, and this is the gayest shit I've ever seen


Shetposteroriginal

i'm straight, but i dont do that, i think, this is just a rumour, but i think he's gay


bigguy64601

I like to envy all parts male or female 😉


GayFairyLesbianWeed

This is interesting cause I think (I THINK*) most straight girls think boobs are better looking than shafts.


BritAllie8

I'm not straight, but I too appreciate boobs more than dicks. I like both but I'm partial to boobs.


SlideItIn100

Agreed.


deliciouspears420

this man just spitted out facts


Dead_of_Nights_Greed

I thought that said “Straight Gay” and was very confused


Alarid

Straightest mod.


Sprizys

Anyone have the original post? I’m curious about the comments lol


Cupidsgift20

If he's fighting demon in his next post....


cesarete

No homomphffff


gideon-lorr

r/uselessnobody


Lady_Gaysun

A person can definitely be hetero and enjoy homo porn, but this.... This, honey. This "straight" one ain't one of those persons in any space or time.


[deleted]

Oh yes couldn't agree more but I'm gay AF


happyhyde

All alpha males agree


Beginning_Day_346

Boobs are so confusing I know


Yearofthehoneybadger

That’s um… not quite how heterosexuality works bro.


NewYorkJewbag

I did read some research on pornography a number of years ago that showed erect dicks are more arousing to men than vaginas.


KidGamerKJG

That's not how this game works!


arkanaleloup

Straight way of life


RilaReaper

Sir, I have some news for u


MagzV4

This is relatively the same as a man having s3x with another man and then waking up and saying no homo 💀


kingpoke0901

You don't need to be gay or straight or anything to appreciate how beautiful penises are.


Watermellon-Socks

r/egg_irl


Lloveblast

"I don't wanna sound like a queer or nuthin'. But I think cocks are kick ass!"


Limeila

I remember seeing the original post. The comment made OP realise that was not normal and "maybe" he wasn't straight. He came out in a different post a few days later.


[deleted]

\#relatable


MommysLittleFailure

As a straight girl, boobs are more attractive than erect cocks.


PainfulVoidPrince

ayo :0


2fastSOAP

Anon discovers trans girls


powerbottomflash

To be fair … a lot of straight guys are like this.


TrueDarkKnight03

That’s what I thought at the beginning…until I became bi.


mistajc

“I’m not gay but sometimes I do just love a great big cock in my hole.”


slingshot91

I’m straight but I live the gay lifestyle just so I can appreciate dick without judgement.


Givemethezuccyzucc

Gay Obama: let me be queer


Fault-Suspicious

im looking at you, vaginas